All language subtitles for The Love Boat s02e06 Mike and Ike.eng

♪Love, exciting and new.♪

♪Come aboard, we're expecting
you♪

♪love, life's sweetest reward.♪

♪Let it flow, it floats back to
you♪

♪the love boat soon will be
making another run.♪

♪The love boat promises
something for everyone♪

♪set a course for adventure♪

♪your mind on a new romance♪

♪love won't hurt anymore.♪

♪It's an open smile on a
friendly shore♪

♪yes, love .welcome aboard,
it's love.♪

Hello.

Can I be of help?

Are you the person in charge?

That's me.

Then you must be gopher.

No.

I'm merrill....Captain merrill
stubing.

Oh, dear...I'm sorry.

I really just need someone to
tell me where promenade three-four-four is.

It just so happens I'm headed in
that direction myself.

I'd be very happy to escort you.

That's very kind of you.

Hello. Welcome aboard.

Thank you.

Your name, sir?

Newton weems.

Newton weems....Yes,
sir...Newton weems.....

I don't seem to have a weems.

Oh...well, thanks anyway.

Yo, sir, wait a minute.

Mr.weems....I'm sorry.

It was stapled over.

It's okay,it's not the first
time that's happened.

I understand how you feel.

I was left out of my high school
yearbook.

Oh....

Hi.I'm Roberta Potter.

Uh...newton weems.

Hi.

Um, mr.Weems, you're on the
fiesta deck cabin one-thirty

and Roberta, you're right down
the hall cabin one-thirty-seven.

Thank you.

I notice you two are travelling
alone.

Would you like to sit at the
same table for dinner?

Oh...yeah, it's okay with me.

Okay with you, Newton?

Yeah...yeah...yeah.....well,
sorry about the yearbook.

Bye.

No, no, no, no...It's okay.

Thank you, I've got it.

Here.

Bye.

Enjoy your cruise.

Yeah, bye.

Kinda nervous.

Uh-huh.

Yeah....kinda cute, isn't he?

Hm-hm.

Well, not that cute.

Oh, Michael, very fancy.

I told you a long time ago,

nothing but the best for our
family..

Don't...don't sit there, son.

Leave him alone, honey.

He's exhausted and besides that
suit itches him.

Itch...that's a hundred dollar
suit.

Ike!

Lenore!

Mike!

Oh, fantastic!

Hey, Mike, how you doin'?

Isaac...

How you doin'?

Good.

Terrific.

You look rich!....I had heard
you two got married...

But I didn't know about this guy
here.

This is our son, Michael.

Shake hands with mr.Washington.

How do you do, mr.Washington.

Hey....you just call me ike,
little brother.

All right?

Hey listen, just between you and
me....Doesn't that suit itch?

It certainly does.

I give you my official
permission to scratch.

Come on, Michael, let's go to
the cabin and change.

Okay.

Ike...I'll see you later.

Lenore, that's what you said
twelve years ago.

Please, I have to be on this
cruise.

Ah, you're in luck, miss
Henderson.

Had a late cancellation.

Good.

Friend of yours?

Not exactly.

Would you like me to arrange an
introduction?

We've already met.

Excuse me, but don't we know
each other?

No.

I see that old line doesn't work
any better for women than it does for men.

Well, it's all in the delivery.

Excuse me, but...Haven't we met
somewhere before?

No.

But nice try.

I think she's crazy about you.

Well, I still say we should have
taken the bus to Mexico.

Honestly, fern, all these things
I've heard about love boat lotharios.

We are going to have to be on
guard every minute.

Will you hush, Muriel.

Now you can't go through life
being terrified of every man you meet.

Personally, I intend to let down
my hair and enjoy myself.

Hi, ladies.

Don't you start with us.

Au revoir, mon cherie.

You still don't remember me, do
you?

We live in the same neighborhood
in New York.

We used to go to the same
place...Cody's, right?

I never heard of Cody's.

I've been to Cody's.

Great restaurant.

It's a bar.

Hey, doc!

How goes operation romance?

The patient's okay.

The doctor just died.

Let's drink a toast to lenore
and the escorts.

Well, what's that?

What's that?

Well, when your dad and mom and
I were kids, we used to have a group.

And we used to stand on the
street corner singin' all the top tunes of the day.

Yeah.

We were a big hit.

And in a burst of inspiration,
we even created our own original composition.

Oh, no....The language of love.

Don't tell him about the Turkey
song.

Do you remember the choreography
us we used to do?

Oh yeah.

Come on honey , this should be
fun.

Come on, Mike.....Remember we
used to work for hours doin' that stuff.

Man, I know you didn't forget.

Did you forget that?

Oh, come on.

Ah, one, ah two...Ah one, two,
three.....

Ba...ba...ba...ba...ba...ba...b
a.

(All singing)

You gotta teach me that song,
dad.

No, I've sung that song for the
last time.

Ike, will you teach me?

Sure.

Oh, no.

That do-wah stuff was fine for
back then but we don't need that now, son.

Come on, let's go get dressed
for the captain's cocktail party.

Say, Mike.....I didn't mean to
embarrass you in front of your son.

Oh, it's cool, ike.

It's just that my life's all in
a different direction, that's all.

Hey, ike, could you teach me
that move that went along with the fuzzy-wuzzy?

Uh...uh, I think you better
check it out with your father first.

Michael!

Please?

Okay....tomorrow.

And if you get good enough,
maybe Gladys knight'll make you a pip.

Roberta ...I see you're not
eating.

Well, I'm sort of looking around
for Newton.

Well, he doesn't seem to be
here.

Roberta, he did say he might eat
in his cabin.

That's okay.

I can wait.

He's gotta come out sometime.

Okay.

It was very sweet of you to give
me a tour of the ship today.

Oh...we haven't finished that.

Perhaps later I can show you the
real heartbeat of the ship.

The engine room?

My cabin.

Oh, merrill, you're such a
knave.

Fern, will you...

What?

Look at that!

And...and he is the captain.

You know that's a fine example
he is setting.

Muriel.

For heaven sakes, we're here to
have fun and not to pass judgment on,

the shabby moral behavior of
others.

Besides, if you keep gawking
around the room like that,

some one could possibly come up
with something worse.

Fern...fern...do not turn
around.

What do you mean?

One is coming right to us.

Mercy.

Do...do you think he wants to
hit on us?

No, I think he wants to take the
order.

This table fourteen?

Yes, it is.

I'm sure you're convinced by now
that I'm following you.

Well, I am.

I don't get it.

Look, I'm sure you get to meet a
lot of girls, but it hurts my ego that you don't remember me.

We were introduced by the
bartender at Cody's.

Of course, I...I haven't been
back there for a while.

I heard some guy got killed
there last year.....

Excuse me.

Wait.

You know, I don't understand why
she's trying so hard with him,

when she could have a good
looking doctor like yourself.

Well, maybe she's a Christian
scientist.

As the saying goes, if at first
you don't succeed, go hit on somebody else.

Well, somebody enjoyed his
dinner.

My man needs his strength to go
skeetshooting tomorrow.

I can't wait.

Pow!

Pow!

Pow!

Ike says they shoot off the
fantail from ten to eleven.

Huh?

Is that the only time?

Yes.

Why?

I have this conference call
scheduled tomorrow from ten to eleven.

Does that mean we can't go?

Not this time, son.

That's okay, dad.

No.

No, it's not okay.

This is supposed to be a
vacation, Michael.

We planned it especially so you
could spend more time with your son.

Now, please.

No business.

I'll make it up to you, Michael.

Promise.

Baby, do you know what it takes
to set up a conference call ship to shore?

See, he doesn't mind.

Look, I'm sorry.

I didn't mean to upset you.

Maybe I was wrong.

Maybe you never been to Cody's.

Well, I have....A lot.

Trying to wipe the place out of
my mind.

I was there the night the guy
was killed.

I...i understand a bystander
tried to take the killer's gun away and he shot him, too.

You want to see the scar?

That was only the beginning.

I spent four months in the
hospital,ended up losing my job.

All because I stuck my nose into
somebody else's business.

But you must be glad to hear
they caught the guy that shot you.

Well, I don't know anything
about that.

Oh yeah, he's a drug dealer.

Mob guy.

It was in all the papers.

I must have missed it.

Surely they've asked you to be a
witness at the trial?

It's getting a little cold out
here.

Look, I...I'm sorry.

I'm upsetting you again.

This must be a nightmare for
you.

And I've ruined your meal.

Look, if I promise never to
mention Cody's again,

will you come back inside and
join me for dinner?

Okay.

Good.

And by the way, the name's
Suzanne.

Frank.

Now you can't say we haven't
met.

You cocktail waitresses lead
fascinating lives.

Oh, hey, doc...Doc you gotta get
in here right away.

A guy just passed out at the
Blackjack table.

Well, how'd it happen?

He won.

I'll be back in just a
second....Don't lose the mood.

Bon soir, ma cherie.

Till we meet again.

Now, that's Orion's belt.

See?

Three stars right in a line?

And over there we have the
sygnus the swan.

That's my personal favorite.

Now, let's see if we can find
ursus, the bear.

There you are, you little devil.

And that, of course, is the
little Dipper.

Little?

Wow!

How long are you gonna keep me
in the deep freeze?

Until you start living up to
your promises.

Okay, honey,hop in bed.

Listen, son, I'm sorry we can't
go skeet shooting.

But...how would you like to go
fishing?

I don't know.

I've never done it.

Well, it's about time we went.

Day after tomorrow, we'll be in
cabo San Lucas.

Best fishing in the world.

You know what we're gonna do?

You and me are gonna charter a
boat, go fishin' all day long.

Really?

Really.

And that's a
promise...Goodnight, son.

'Night, dad.

Have a good sleep....

Wait a minute.

Don't forget to say your
prayers.

Dear lord...Thank you for today.

And please bless mom, dad and my
man, ike.

Oh, and thank you for bringing
back lenore and the escorts....Amen.

Na-na, na-na, na-na, na-na......

You ready for breakfast?

Ooh, look out pancakes...Here we
come.

Hey, ike.Guess what?

Me and my dad are goin' fishin'
in cabo San Lucas.

Right.

Anything you can tell me about
fishin'?

I want to be real good at it.

All you need to know about
fishin' is that it's a lot of fun.

Unless, of course, you're a
fish.

Look, I've got something that's
really special.

It's...my magic fishing hat.

Hey, Isaac, isn't that....

Now, Mike, you just put this hat
on your head,

and you won't have to worry
about hooks, bait or anything.

The fish sense the magic and
they just leap into the boat

already cleaned, scaled and
filleted.

Ah, ike.

There's no such thing as a magic
hat.

Okay, you be the judge.

You mean I can have this?

Hm-hm.

It's yours.

No kidding?

Right on, partner.

Hey, thanks, ike.

That's the fishing hat your dad
gave you, isn't it?

Yeah.

But it was just hangin' up there
losin' all its magic.

I mean, look...No...No fish.

Not one single solitary fish.

I am not making up this story,
fern.

I mean, I was sitting right next
to the lady,

under the dryer and she said she
was standing alone and all of a sudden this

masked man popped out and kissed
her on the lido deck.

A masked man.

I'd like to see him try that
stuff on me.

You know?

Hi, Newton.

Hi.

Hi,uh, Roberta.

Right.....

So, you...Going into puerto
vallarta today?

No, I...I'm too tired.

I did a lot of work....

So you worked, huh?

Well, what kind of work do you
do?

I'm a writer.

A writer?

Gee, I've never met a writer
before.

Ah, what kind of things do you
write?

Films and television?

Novels, I bet.

Maps.

I write maps.

You know the names of cities,
gulfs, rivers.....I write...I write maps.

That's fascinating.

Gee,oh, listen, I hope you don't
think I'm being forward or anything,

but I was wondering if you would
like to have dinner with me.

Tonight?......i don't know.

I...i....i have tons of works to
do and

i'm...phew, I'm still full from
breakfast.

I insist.

I'll come by your cabin and pick
you up.

No, no.

No, no, no.

Don't do that.

No.

I'll....i'll...I'll meet
you...In the dining room.

Okay.

I promise.

Goodbye.

Bye.

Penny for your thoughts.

Well, I was thinking about that
killer's trial.

It starts today.

Oh, yeah, I know all about it.

I'm supposed to be there.

How come you're not, frank?

Because I'm scared stiff.

I don't blame you.

This guy has ugly friends,
Suzanne.

One bullet was enough.

I don't need to be a hero again.

But can they convict him without
you?

Nope.

Then a killer will be walking
around the streets.

Yeah.....but so will I.

Evelyn, I hope you don't mind
not sitting at the captain's table.

I wanted to make this
special....A night you'd never forget.

Enjoying your dinner, Newton?

Oh, thank you very much.

Good.

Listen, shall we top it off in
style?

What do you mean?

Watch this.

Garcon.

Yes, madame?

We would like two flaming baked
alaskas for two.

It takes twenty minutes to
prepare.

Oh, it's worth the wait.

Besides, we're not going
anywhere.

Ahh...i gotta go.

I...i have to work.

Well, Newton, what about the
dessert?

No, I...I can't.

I...I've really stayed too long
as it is.

Goodnight, Roberta.

I...i had a nice time.

You know you're beautiful.

I haven't felt this relaxed with
anyone in my life.

Hey,something wrong?

No.

Come on.

Nothing.

Well, I haven't held anything
back from you.

At least you can return the
favor.

Frank,look.

What?

I know you're the kind of guy
that cares about people.

Otherwise you wouldn't have
gotten involved at Cody's that night.

I'm just wondering,how you
can...

Duck my responsibility as a
citizen?

Sort of.

And then there's that whole area
of...Revenge.

Revenge?

Believe me I spent four months
in the hospital thinking about that.

What good is it gonna do me if
I'm six feet under?

You have a definite point.

Hey...let's put the trial over
here.

Just enjoy being with one
another,okay?

Have I told you that your eyes
are like two limpid pools?

Yes.

About five minutes ago.

Oh.

Have I told you about your lips?

Uh-huh.

Merrill?

Hm-hmm?

Well, I'm getting kind of
chilly.

Let's dance.

There isn't any music.

Oh.

Well, I'll run and have the band
play something soft and lilting.

Of course you realize, fern,
that we are playing right into his hands.

Hush, Muriel.

Someone has to stand up to this
masked masher and make this ship safe again for decent people.

Fern, look.

It's him.

Now what do we do?

Pull yourself together,we'll
scream.

All right.

Ready?....one, two, three.....

Hey, you!!!

Who was that masked man?

What masked man?

Evelyn...did he?

Did he ever.

Evelyn, compose yourself.

We still have plenty of time for
us.

Not tonight, merrill.

I have a headache.

P.a: Good morning.

Barges will be leaving for cabo
San Lucas every ten minutes from the coral deck gangway.

Hey, you're late.

You're gonna miss their boat.

We're not going.

What?

My dad has to fly back home.

What's goin' on?

Got a chance to pick up another
dealership.

I've got to go back and wrap
things up.

You know I'm doing this for you,
don't you?

Yes, sir.

What kind of...Mike, doin' it
for him?

You're doin' it for yourself.

This kid don't give a damn
whether you get one more car dealership or not.

All he wants is a little
attention from his father.

Isaac, you're absolutely right.

He is not!

What do you know about it
anyway?

My dad's trying make a lot of
money, so I can live a better life than he did.

He doesn't want me goin' singi'
songs from a street corner.

He wants me to go to college and
get a good education and be somebody...Not a jive bartender

I'm sorry.

My fault.

I shouldn't have opened my big
mouth.

Well, it's cool.

No, it's not cool.

Michael, don't you see what
you're doing?

You're wheeling and dealing
yourself right out of our lives.

Darling, calm down.

It's been an emotional morning.

Why don't you just go back to
bed?

I've really got to go.

I'll call you later.

You ready for breakfast?

Hm-hm.

You know something?

What's that?

There is something I have been
meaning to mention to you.

What is that?

I'm falling in love.

Who with?

You.

Frank,oh, I feel the same way.

I-I just wish that....

What's your wish?

What's your wish?

Name it.You've got it.

Well, I just wish we didn't have
this...This thing hanging over our heads.

What thing?

Oh Suzanne.

You're not gonna start with the
trial again?

Frank, listen.Look, couldn't you
just call the d.A.

And ask for a postponement?

Look, I've...I've told you how I
feel about this.

Maybe I have to explain things
better to you.

Look, I'm in the middle,because
some pusher killed a junkie in a bar.

A loser, a bum....Look, the guy
was throwing away his life anyway.

He's a punk Suzanne,a nothing!

That nothing was my brother
Tommy.

You mean all this between us was
just to.....

Lenore?

Hi, ike...How's Michael?

Oh,okay.

Listen, I'll be right up.

How's he doing?

He's locked himself in the
bathroom.

Mike!

Hey listen Mike, I got an hour
off.

How about you and I play some
ping pong?

No, thank you.

Boy, that kid sure is polite.

Just like his father....You
know, we have everything now.

A beautiful home, lovely
clothes, lots of money,

and I've never been more
frightened in my whole life.

I feel like I'm losing Mike and
I don't know what to do about it.

Right now those times back on
the street corner look awfully good.

Lenore?

What are you doing here?

Well, I exercised my prerogative
as president of the company.

I told my vice president to make
the deal.

Michael?!

Daddy!

I know it's kind of late in the
day, and,

and all the big ones are
probably all gone by now

but would you still like to go
fishing with me?

Oh, wow!

All right...Now...How about an
apology for our friend here?

I'm sorry for callin' you a jive
bartender.

Hey.

And I'm sorry, too, ike.

Seems as though I've been doin'
all the jivin' around here.

Hey, forget about that.

Listen, I want you guys to pick
me up a...A sea bass about oh.....So big.

You got it, ike.

Hey listen, I want you to catch
me some green beans and some French fries to go along with

How am I gonna do that?

Very easy.

With your magic hat.

I have never been so shocked in
my entire life.

Can you imagine the nerve of
that man?

He...he was a little like
Douglas Fairbanks...So dashing.

He came out of nowhere and swept
me into his arms.

No, no....Fern.

He was more like Valentino.

You know, arrogant...Arrogant,
but sensuous.

Personally, I think he was more
like bogey...Tough yet gentle.

Well, I should have known i'd
find you out here having a nice time...Rather than doing your

Ah, captain, I was just here
checking out all the passengers.

Making sure they were happy.

And I was just...Studying how
Julie works.

Might want to be a cruise
director myself some day.

I was checking the ambient
temperature.

There might be some incipient
flu in the air.

That makes no sense at all.

Oh.

You want sense.

I, on the other hand, was doing
my job.

And it's about time.

Captain, somehow I get the vague
feeling that possibly you're not in the very best of moods today.

Well, how am I supposed to feel?

For Pete's sake, we have a...A
kissing bandit on board.

Well, I hear he's making a lot
of ladies very happy.

Well, I want him stopped.

Why, sir?

Nobody's complaining.

Well, I'm complaining.

It's got to the point you can't
even take a female companion for a stroll at night

without this whacko spoiling
every mood you try to establish.

Oh, he's screwing up your love
life.

Why didn't you say so?

I must say, he's not doing a
lot for mine either.

Now what we need is a positive
plan.

Any ideas how we can trap this
kissing person?

Well, if we want to trap him we
really need some sort of bait,like a decoy.

Right.

Right.

Right.

Wrong!!!

Right.

It's open.

Frank...can we talk?

Nothing to talk about.

I have to tell you about Tommy.

He wasn't a bum.

He was a sweet kid who went to
Vietnam and got wounded.

And that's how he got hooked on
drugs.

I don't need to hear all this.

Well, you've gotta hear it.

He kicked his habit and when
that pusher approached him that night

in Cody's he threatened to turn
him into the police.

That's the kind of guy he was.

Not a punk...Not a nothing.

I've already called the d.A.

What?

Not because of you, and your
little game.

Because I suddenly realized I
couldn't live with myself if that guy went free.

Now would you do me a favor
leave me alone.

Frank...

Will you please just go?

Captain, I don't like this.

I don't like it at all.

Not at all.

Julie, there is nothing to worry
about.

We'll never be more than a few
feet from you.

And gopher and Isaac are in
position ready to pounce.

And you'll have no trouble
spotting him.

Everyone is at dinner, the deck
is deserted.

Dr.bricker?

Ladies,ladies, for your own
safety, I must ask you to my cabin for a cocktail.

Now...all you have to do is
casually stroll back and forth.

As soon as you see him, call
out.

Oh, captain, this could just be
a big waste of time, though.

I mean...Well, what if he
doesn't come after me?

Well, he will.The man's
unbalanced.

Oh, I mean, he'll go for anyone.

No, I mean...Happy hunting.

Thank you, sir....Tally-ho to
you, too.

Hey, how'm I doin'?

Julie, any sign of him?

No, not yet.

Hold it you!

Okay, buddy, don't try any rough
stuff.

We've got him, sir!

Bon soir, mes amis.

Till we meet again.

Well, we know one thing for
sure.

He's not French.

Care to share your ocean?

Hey, most girls laugh in my
face, they don't burst into tears.

Oh, doctor bricker, I messed up
everything.

I came on this cruise for one
reason.

Frank mclean?

Yeah....it's so complicated.

I tried to push him into doing
something...And now I wish i'd never.

I love him.

I've already lost my brother.

I don't want to lose him, too.

Do you understand?

No, but I think maybe frank
does.

Suzanne....

Frank....

Ssshhh....for once, let's not
talk.

There's something else that I
would rather do.

Who is it?

Ah, it's me, Roberta.

Can I talk to you?

Ah, no.

I'm not here.

I mean, I'm here.

I'm sleeping, Roberta.

No...no...I'm not sleeping,

I'm working.I'm working.Boy, doi
have a lot of work to do.

I've been up, oh...All night
working.

Working on a map.

How do you spell tanzanaya?

T-a-n-z....uh...i can come in
and help you.

Thank you.

Hi.

Hi.

Just working.It's a map of.Some
countries you've probably never heard of.

Mmm...the United States.

Some are rather well known.

Newton, what's going on?

You know the first night you
don't even show up for dinner.

And the second night we were
having such a wonderful time together.

Then you just left.

And then tonight you didn't show
up again.

And then to top it off,

you know that masked man who's
running around kissing just anybody?

Took one look at me and ran
away.

Come on Newton,what's the matter
with me?

Roberta, there's...Nothing the
matter with you.

I mean...If you ask me, there's
something the matter with him.

What do you mean?

Well, maybe he's so scared of
girls, that he thinks he has to dress up to steal a kiss.

Why would anyone have to steal a
kiss, Newton?

Ah, well, maybe he knew for sure
that nobody would ever give him one.

Maybe he spent every high school
dance so scared he

couldn't come out of the men's
room.

Maybe he promised himself that
one day he'd do all the stuff he dreamed about,

and then he met a girl that he
really cared for,

and then the mask didn't work
and,and he ran away like a chicken.

People don't have to do that.

Do they?

No.

No.

If it was me,like, I mean, if I
met someone,uh,like you.

That I really cared for.I'd just
say,can I kiss you?

And I'd say yes.

Ah, mon Cher.Magnifique.

Oh, boy, you knew?

Are you gonna tell on me?

Roberta, we'll be back in port
tomorrow.

Do you have any plans for the
night?

Yes.

A very late dinner with you.

Thanks for everything, brother.

All right.

And especially the hard, cold
truth.

Now come on, Mike.

You kinda deserved that.

And you deserve this.

Thank you, lenore.

Hey,thanks again ike, for my
magic hat.

Any time, partner.

Any time.

Oh and...Ike...You're gonna have
to come visit us.

Michael Jr.Can't get that
fuzzy-wuzzy move.

And I can't seem to get it
together, either.

Hey well for that all you need
is some magic shoes.

Bye bye.

Bye bye.

Take it easy.

All right, man.So long, Mikey.

Frank...are we doing the right
thing?

Maybe we ought to get back on
that boat and just sail away from here.

No way.

We're gonna see this thing
through together.

We owe it to Tommy and we owe it
to ourselves.

It was noble of me, wasn't it?

What?

The way I gave her up so she
could be with him.

Excuse me?

Hm?

Have you seen captain stubing?

I'd like to say goodbye to him.

Well, if you wait right here, he
should be by any minute.

All right.Thank you.

You bet.

Oh, fern, it's all over.

We're going home and I'm never
gonna see him again.

See who?

Well, that mad Valentino who
kissed me.

If he kissed you he must be
mad....Anyway it was Douglas Fairbanks.

Don't start, fern.

Mr.weems, you look very tired.

Did you spend the entire cruise
working in your cabin?

Oh, no.

I did a lot of work on deck,
too.

Bye.

Bye bye.

Thanks for sailing with us.

Gopher?

Yes, sir?

Look at this.

Where did you get that?

A room steward found it in the
trash.

But can you imagine anyone being
silly enough to think that wearing that could be a turn-on?

It's him!

Who?!!

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