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This is the story
of four orphans brought together by fate.
2
00:00:16,560 --> 00:00:18,400
They didn't know it yet...
3
00:00:18,480 --> 00:00:21,280
but there was something greater
in store for them-
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00:00:21,360 --> 00:00:23,240
something epic.
5
00:00:40,920 --> 00:00:43,160
Meet our first orphan- Lucy.
6
00:00:43,240 --> 00:00:46,840
She had been raised by
a kindly old museum curator.
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- But alas...
- Ohh!
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he was murdered.
9
00:00:55,760 --> 00:00:57,520
Ow.
10
00:00:57,600 --> 00:00:59,280
Oh, please don't die.
11
00:00:59,360 --> 00:01:02,640
Please don't die. You're all I have.
12
00:01:02,720 --> 00:01:05,240
You're on my hand.
13
00:01:07,240 --> 00:01:09,120
Oh, sorry.
14
00:01:10,640 --> 00:01:12,600
It's a code.
15
00:01:15,000 --> 00:01:17,600
But what is it?
16
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Oh, my God! Oh, God!
The code! Please! Give me another clue!
17
00:01:25,360 --> 00:01:27,280
I didn't read the book on tape.
18
00:01:32,360 --> 00:01:35,000
Habeas corpus.
E pluribus unum.
19
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God.
Um, the code, please.
20
00:01:42,640 --> 00:01:45,600
Your body is in the shape
of a letter. Is it the letter "D"?
21
00:01:45,720 --> 00:01:47,840
Please! Please!
22
00:01:47,960 --> 00:01:49,400
Um, that's an "A"!
23
00:01:51,760 --> 00:01:56,920
It's "V"! "V"! Uh, "I"! "I"!
24
00:02:00,640 --> 00:02:02,320
Um, "N"!
25
00:02:02,400 --> 00:02:04,680
Uh- Um-
26
00:02:06,240 --> 00:02:09,400
Um, "I"-
27
00:02:09,480 --> 00:02:12,640
Oh! "C"! "C"!
"I-C"!
28
00:02:14,640 --> 00:02:18,480
"I"! "I."
Da-Da-Da- Da Vinci!
29
00:02:19,720 --> 00:02:21,880
Right!
30
00:02:22,000 --> 00:02:24,440
Oh, God. Oh.
31
00:02:24,560 --> 00:02:27,000
Oh.
32
00:02:28,040 --> 00:02:31,280
"So lame the hair of Tom."
33
00:02:35,640 --> 00:02:37,440
Wait. "Lame."
34
00:02:37,560 --> 00:02:39,360
"Lame" is a
35
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"Lame" is a seven-letter word.
36
00:02:45,720 --> 00:02:48,280
The code is seven!
Right!
37
00:03:07,360 --> 00:03:09,360
Oh, thank
38
00:03:14,560 --> 00:03:16,800
Right.
39
00:03:23,160 --> 00:03:26,040
Then there was
our next orphan, Edward.
40
00:03:26,120 --> 00:03:30,560
He was living in a Mexican monastery
with all the other children.
41
00:03:37,520 --> 00:03:40,120
I'm not eating that.
42
00:03:41,600 --> 00:03:43,440
Be grateful, Eduardo.
43
00:03:43,520 --> 00:03:46,240
Today I made something
especially scrumptious.
44
00:03:57,000 --> 00:04:01,040
Nacho!
45
00:04:01,120 --> 00:04:06,720
Nacho!
46
00:04:06,840 --> 00:04:11,640
Nacho!
47
00:04:14,040 --> 00:04:20,560
Nacho...
48
00:04:20,640 --> 00:04:25,840
Nacho...
49
00:04:25,920 --> 00:04:29,080
cheese flavored Doritos are delicious!
50
00:04:34,240 --> 00:04:36,160
Ah-choo!
51
00:04:42,280 --> 00:04:44,480
I'm sick of this!
52
00:04:44,600 --> 00:04:47,640
I'm going to be
a lucha libre wrestler.
53
00:04:50,040 --> 00:04:52,280
You think you are better
than the other orphans?
54
00:04:52,360 --> 00:04:54,960
- Yes.
- Chanchito!
55
00:04:55,040 --> 00:04:58,880
Come. Teach him a lesson
in humility.
56
00:05:09,840 --> 00:05:12,160
You gotta be kidding me.
57
00:05:17,160 --> 00:05:19,760
You like the flavor
of the beans going up your nose?
58
00:05:22,960 --> 00:05:25,400
Just take his arm
and spin it around!
59
00:05:25,520 --> 00:05:29,240
Chanchito, throw him off the table.
60
00:05:37,400 --> 00:05:40,080
Sweet!
61
00:05:40,160 --> 00:05:42,560
And stay out, cabron!
62
00:05:52,920 --> 00:05:54,720
Our next orphan, Susan...
63
00:05:54,840 --> 00:05:58,840
was on her way to Namibia to
meet her new adoptive parents.
64
00:06:04,120 --> 00:06:06,840
- Can I get you a cocktail?
- Just some water.
65
00:06:06,920 --> 00:06:09,400
Okay.
What can I get you to drink?
66
00:06:09,520 --> 00:06:11,480
More juice, please.
67
00:06:50,680 --> 00:06:53,520
I chose the wrong day to fly!
68
00:06:55,880 --> 00:06:57,760
Enough is enough!
69
00:06:57,880 --> 00:07:01,600
I've had it with these motherfuckin'
snakes on this motherfuckin' plane!
70
00:07:01,680 --> 00:07:04,000
- So have I!
- Enough is enough!
71
00:07:04,080 --> 00:07:07,840
I've had it with these motherfuckin'
snakes on this motherfuckin' plane!
72
00:07:07,920 --> 00:07:10,480
- Right!
- I've had it...
73
00:07:10,560 --> 00:07:13,360
with these motherfuckin' snakes
on this motherfuckin' plane!
74
00:07:13,440 --> 00:07:15,360
Why do you keep saying that?
75
00:07:15,440 --> 00:07:18,240
Because Internet bloggers
love it when I say...
76
00:07:18,320 --> 00:07:21,680
I've had it with these motherfuckin'
snakes on this motherfuckin' plane!
77
00:07:21,760 --> 00:07:24,440
All right.
We get it already. Okay?
78
00:07:24,560 --> 00:07:27,360
No, I don't think you do!
79
00:07:27,480 --> 00:07:31,200
I've had it with these motherfuckin'
snakes on this motherfuckin' plane!
80
00:07:31,320 --> 00:07:34,640
- Why are you yelling?
- Shit, bitch, I'm always yellin'!
81
00:07:34,720 --> 00:07:36,920
I'm Samuel motherfuckin' Jackson!
82
00:07:37,040 --> 00:07:38,880
Bitch?
83
00:07:44,080 --> 00:07:47,000
- The designer understands these things.
- Darling, you look great.
84
00:07:49,280 --> 00:07:51,200
I'm so hot.
85
00:08:05,080 --> 00:08:06,960
Yes!
86
00:08:18,640 --> 00:08:20,480
And finally...
87
00:08:20,560 --> 00:08:22,400
our last orphan, Peter.
88
00:08:22,480 --> 00:08:26,680
He made his home among
the undesirables of society the mutants.
89
00:08:26,760 --> 00:08:30,080
But even there he was an outcast.
90
00:09:10,800 --> 00:09:13,560
Hi, Mystique.
Hi, L.C.
91
00:09:16,080 --> 00:09:19,480
Right, um, so, anyway,
I was wondering...
92
00:09:19,600 --> 00:09:22,880
would you like to come
to the homecoming dance with me?
93
00:09:25,240 --> 00:09:27,120
As if.
94
00:09:42,600 --> 00:09:44,280
Nice hair, Rogue.
95
00:09:48,600 --> 00:09:51,360
You talkin' to my girl...
96
00:09:51,480 --> 00:09:53,360
numbnuts?
97
00:10:01,120 --> 00:10:03,200
Asshole.
98
00:10:21,480 --> 00:10:25,440
- Fight. Fight. Fight.
- Fight! Fight!
99
00:10:25,560 --> 00:10:27,320
What are you gonna do about it?
100
00:10:31,280 --> 00:10:33,760
He's unleashing his powers!
101
00:10:36,520 --> 00:10:38,400
He's gonna spread angel wings!
102
00:10:49,760 --> 00:10:51,800
More like chicken wings!
103
00:10:56,840 --> 00:10:59,920
Break it up.
Break it up.
104
00:11:00,000 --> 00:11:05,040
You all know Peter is too much
of a pussy to stand up for himself.
105
00:11:18,360 --> 00:11:20,240
Aah!
106
00:11:37,160 --> 00:11:39,040
And for these four orphans...
107
00:11:39,160 --> 00:11:42,080
life would never be the same.
108
00:12:01,160 --> 00:12:03,400
Gross.
109
00:12:19,000 --> 00:12:22,080
Welcome.
110
00:12:22,200 --> 00:12:25,840
You must be Susan.
111
00:12:25,920 --> 00:12:29,440
And you... are Peter.
112
00:12:30,920 --> 00:12:33,880
And you're Edward.
113
00:12:33,960 --> 00:12:35,480
And you-
114
00:12:38,720 --> 00:12:40,800
You're Lucy.
115
00:12:42,080 --> 00:12:43,920
I've been expecting you.
116
00:12:44,000 --> 00:12:46,680
So, come on!
117
00:12:46,800 --> 00:12:49,000
Ooh!
118
00:13:13,960 --> 00:13:16,640
I love your legendary candy.
119
00:13:17,680 --> 00:13:19,600
A chocolate river!
120
00:13:24,840 --> 00:13:27,000
Mmm!
121
00:13:29,480 --> 00:13:31,360
It's delicious!
122
00:13:34,520 --> 00:13:36,720
It's so delicious!
123
00:13:41,000 --> 00:13:42,800
Yea!
124
00:13:47,880 --> 00:13:51,360
Chocolate!
125
00:13:51,480 --> 00:13:53,280
That's, uh-
126
00:13:53,400 --> 00:13:55,960
- That's actually the sewer line. Yeah.
- It's delic-
127
00:14:04,920 --> 00:14:07,360
Children, do you want to know...
128
00:14:07,480 --> 00:14:10,880
what makes all my candy
taste so special?
129
00:14:11,000 --> 00:14:13,240
Uh-huh.
130
00:14:13,320 --> 00:14:15,920
It's a special, secret ingredient.
131
00:14:16,000 --> 00:14:20,240
It's real human parts.
132
00:14:20,320 --> 00:14:23,840
There's gonna be a little itty-bitty piece
of each and every one of you...
133
00:14:23,960 --> 00:14:26,960
inside of the Yummy Yum candy
literally.
134
00:14:27,040 --> 00:14:29,400
I'm gettin' out of here.
135
00:14:31,160 --> 00:14:33,840
Let us out, freak!
136
00:14:33,920 --> 00:14:35,800
Let us out, freak!
137
00:14:35,880 --> 00:14:38,480
No, no.
I can't do that.
138
00:14:38,560 --> 00:14:40,440
- Yes, you can.
- Yes, you can.
139
00:14:42,560 --> 00:14:45,080
You're... mine now.
140
00:15:07,280 --> 00:15:10,320
Aah!
141
00:15:25,760 --> 00:15:27,760
Aah!
142
00:15:48,560 --> 00:15:50,680
Stop! Let me go!
143
00:16:12,720 --> 00:16:14,520
Ow!
144
00:16:14,640 --> 00:16:17,440
Aah!
145
00:16:19,720 --> 00:16:21,880
What are you doing?
146
00:16:21,960 --> 00:16:25,560
- Willy told me he wanted his knob polished.
- Dumb-ass.
147
00:16:26,600 --> 00:16:28,440
We've gotta get out of here.
148
00:16:30,000 --> 00:16:32,120
- We gotta get out of here.
- I just said that.
149
00:16:32,200 --> 00:16:34,040
You just said that.
150
00:16:34,120 --> 00:16:37,600
Where are we gonna go?
I don't have a home to go back to.
151
00:16:37,720 --> 00:16:40,120
I thought this golden ticket
was my lucky break.
152
00:16:40,240 --> 00:16:42,680
The curator was all I had.
153
00:16:42,760 --> 00:16:46,040
I never had anyone.
I raised myself.
154
00:16:46,120 --> 00:16:49,440
And that's why you have
such a tough exterior?
155
00:16:49,560 --> 00:16:51,520
Yeah.
156
00:16:51,640 --> 00:16:53,560
And you're kinda bitchy.
157
00:16:55,040 --> 00:16:58,240
- Why us?
- Because we're four kids nobody would ever miss.
158
00:16:58,360 --> 00:17:00,160
We'll be stuck here till we die.
159
00:17:00,280 --> 00:17:02,360
Shut up, Edward.
You're scaring her.
160
00:17:02,440 --> 00:17:05,760
Don't tell me what to do!
You're not my father!
161
00:17:05,880 --> 00:17:08,440
- Two for flinching.
- Oww! Aah!
162
00:17:08,520 --> 00:17:11,160
Leave Peter alone.
He was just sticking up for her.
163
00:17:13,520 --> 00:17:15,840
I can take care of myself.
164
00:17:17,960 --> 00:17:20,400
Like it or not,
we're all in this.
165
00:17:20,480 --> 00:17:23,280
It's obvious we don't like each other,
but if we're going to survive...
166
00:17:23,360 --> 00:17:25,200
we have to stick together.
167
00:17:25,280 --> 00:17:26,960
Aah!
168
00:17:30,600 --> 00:17:33,920
- Ow.
- Was the fight over?
169
00:17:35,200 --> 00:17:37,200
I didn't know.
170
00:17:37,280 --> 00:17:39,120
- Hey!
- Shh! Someone's coming.
171
00:17:39,200 --> 00:17:40,960
Who wants to chew my gum balls?
172
00:17:41,080 --> 00:17:43,680
It's Willy. Hide!
173
00:18:00,120 --> 00:18:02,160
Where are you?
174
00:18:16,760 --> 00:18:19,000
I'm gonna find you.
175
00:19:05,120 --> 00:19:07,000
Wow.
176
00:19:14,160 --> 00:19:16,040
Wow.
177
00:19:27,560 --> 00:19:29,040
Ooh! Oh.
178
00:19:30,840 --> 00:19:32,920
Ooh.
179
00:20:12,880 --> 00:20:14,760
Ooh.
180
00:20:32,960 --> 00:20:36,640
It's stuck.
It's- It's stuck.
181
00:20:36,760 --> 00:20:38,640
It's It's stuck.
182
00:21:05,640 --> 00:21:07,520
You can do it!
183
00:21:13,200 --> 00:21:15,320
My tongue!
184
00:21:17,160 --> 00:21:19,040
My ba-a-a-a-ad.
185
00:21:27,240 --> 00:21:29,080
Where am I?
186
00:21:29,160 --> 00:21:31,800
The world of Gnarnia.
187
00:21:42,440 --> 00:21:44,280
Oh!
188
00:21:44,360 --> 00:21:47,320
A silent "G," as in "gnome."
189
00:21:47,400 --> 00:21:49,760
Or "gnarly."
190
00:21:49,840 --> 00:21:51,680
- For legal purposes.
- Mm-hmm.
191
00:21:51,760 --> 00:21:54,680
- I'm Mr. Tumnus.
- Oh, my name is Lucy.
192
00:21:55,920 --> 00:21:57,400
What are you?
193
00:21:58,640 --> 00:22:01,680
I'm a faun.
Half man, half goat.
194
00:22:03,400 --> 00:22:06,960
- Oh, so you mean-
- Yeah. Dad screwed a goat.
195
00:22:07,040 --> 00:22:08,960
These are my folks.
196
00:22:09,080 --> 00:22:11,160
Oh!
197
00:22:12,400 --> 00:22:15,000
- You have her goatee.
- Thanks.
198
00:22:17,120 --> 00:22:19,720
- And you?
- Oh. No.
199
00:22:19,840 --> 00:22:21,720
Both of my parents are human.
200
00:22:21,800 --> 00:22:24,320
Eew. Gro-o-o-ss!
201
00:22:25,320 --> 00:22:27,480
Aah- No. Yeah.
202
00:22:28,960 --> 00:22:32,240
So, you are
a daughter of Eve, huh?
203
00:22:32,320 --> 00:22:34,240
Uh-huh.
204
00:22:41,160 --> 00:22:44,120
How rude of me.
Let me show you around.
205
00:22:44,240 --> 00:22:46,480
Oh. Oh! Oh!
206
00:22:46,560 --> 00:22:50,360
I- I-
207
00:22:56,240 --> 00:22:58,520
Welcome to my faun crib.
208
00:23:15,480 --> 00:23:17,720
Come on. Let's go.
209
00:23:25,800 --> 00:23:28,200
Let's see what's in the fridge.
210
00:23:29,920 --> 00:23:31,840
Ooh!
Always gotta have Cristal.
211
00:23:34,120 --> 00:23:36,600
For when Diddy's in the house.
Yo, Diddy!
212
00:23:47,440 --> 00:23:49,280
Say "What's up?" to the honeys.
213
00:24:07,040 --> 00:24:08,920
Check out my plasma.
214
00:24:09,000 --> 00:24:11,320
Say hello to my little friend!
215
00:24:12,560 --> 00:24:15,440
Wanna play us?
Okay. Let's play.
216
00:24:16,680 --> 00:24:19,200
Scarface is the shit!
217
00:24:20,200 --> 00:24:21,920
I'm Tony Fauntana!
218
00:24:22,040 --> 00:24:25,520
You mess with me,
you're messing with the best!
219
00:24:28,440 --> 00:24:33,080
You ain't a true player unless
you got flat screens everywhere.
220
00:24:33,200 --> 00:24:36,000
In the toilet,
when I'm taking a leak.
221
00:24:36,080 --> 00:24:38,040
Say hello to my little friend!
222
00:24:39,280 --> 00:24:42,000
Wanna play us?
Okay, let's play!
223
00:24:42,080 --> 00:24:43,680
This is my favorite part.
224
00:24:47,480 --> 00:24:49,520
Whew!
225
00:24:49,600 --> 00:24:53,560
Under the couch for when
I'm looking for change.
226
00:24:56,800 --> 00:24:58,960
Boo-yah!
Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Ching!
227
00:24:59,040 --> 00:25:02,400
On the top of her head
for when she, you know...
228
00:25:03,520 --> 00:25:05,560
shines my hooves.
229
00:25:12,520 --> 00:25:14,560
So now you all seen my crib.
230
00:25:14,680 --> 00:25:16,920
So get the hell out!
231
00:25:18,080 --> 00:25:20,600
Well, I really should
be getting back.
232
00:25:20,680 --> 00:25:25,120
No, but you, um, must stay.
233
00:25:25,240 --> 00:25:28,000
Oh, Mr. Tumnus,
I'll never forget you.
234
00:25:29,160 --> 00:25:31,640
Please take this
to remember me by.
235
00:25:34,920 --> 00:25:36,760
And I you.
236
00:25:40,560 --> 00:25:42,480
I'm sorry.
237
00:25:42,640 --> 00:25:44,480
Lucy...
238
00:25:46,480 --> 00:25:48,320
you are in danger.
239
00:25:48,440 --> 00:25:51,480
- What are you-
- You must go now.
240
00:25:51,560 --> 00:25:53,880
Oh! What's wrong?
241
00:25:53,960 --> 00:25:56,000
Take this.
It will explain everything.
242
00:26:11,160 --> 00:26:13,560
Confirm identification.
243
00:26:13,680 --> 00:26:15,560
My eyes! My-
244
00:26:17,520 --> 00:26:19,320
Oh.
245
00:26:19,440 --> 00:26:21,360
Well, that's better than LASIK.
246
00:26:24,640 --> 00:26:27,800
The evil White Bitch who rules Gnarnia...
247
00:26:27,880 --> 00:26:32,120
has ordered anyone
who finds a human to turn them in.
248
00:26:32,200 --> 00:26:35,800
I brought you ba-a-a-ack
to my lair to betray you...
249
00:26:35,920 --> 00:26:37,760
but I couldn't do it.
250
00:26:37,840 --> 00:26:39,960
You are a true friend.
251
00:26:41,440 --> 00:26:43,960
She has plunged our
once-peaceful land into eternal winter.
252
00:26:44,080 --> 00:26:46,520
Under her two terms,
we now have...
253
00:26:46,640 --> 00:26:49,720
wiretaps, no gay marriage...
254
00:26:49,840 --> 00:26:53,880
not to mention her bumbling
of the hurricane relief effort.
255
00:26:53,960 --> 00:26:59,200
And-And the White Bitch
doesn't care about black people.
256
00:27:01,480 --> 00:27:04,280
There is a small
resistance movement.
257
00:27:04,360 --> 00:27:08,160
They learned she's developing
a weapon of mass destruction...
258
00:27:08,280 --> 00:27:10,240
that can kill all of us.
259
00:27:12,280 --> 00:27:15,120
Wait, a real W.M.D.,
or, like, a fake Saddam one?
260
00:27:15,200 --> 00:27:17,240
No, a real one.
261
00:27:17,320 --> 00:27:19,200
That sounds bad.
262
00:27:20,160 --> 00:27:21,520
Go now, before she finds you.
263
00:27:21,600 --> 00:27:23,520
- But-
- There's no time to argue.
264
00:27:23,640 --> 00:27:24,960
Go no-o-o-o-ow!
265
00:27:25,080 --> 00:27:27,640
This message
will self-destruct in one second.
266
00:27:27,720 --> 00:27:29,120
Wait-What?
267
00:27:37,760 --> 00:27:40,480
Come out, come out,
wherever you are.
268
00:27:44,800 --> 00:27:47,200
- Lucy?
- Who wants to play with Willy?
269
00:27:47,320 --> 00:27:50,040
Lucy, move over.
I need someplace to hide.
270
00:27:51,400 --> 00:27:54,040
Lucy. Lu-
271
00:27:54,120 --> 00:27:56,280
Who lives here?
Liberace?
272
00:28:01,840 --> 00:28:03,720
Aah!
273
00:28:14,160 --> 00:28:16,120
This is a really big wardrobe.
274
00:29:07,880 --> 00:29:10,200
What a MI LF.
275
00:29:15,960 --> 00:29:18,320
Kneel before the queen!
276
00:29:21,080 --> 00:29:22,960
You're a son of Adam.
277
00:29:23,040 --> 00:29:26,240
A what?
No, I'm Edward.
278
00:29:26,360 --> 00:29:28,160
I'm sorry, Your Majesty.
I-
279
00:29:28,280 --> 00:29:30,640
- I was following Lucy into the wardrobe and-
- Lucy?
280
00:29:30,720 --> 00:29:33,120
- How many are in your family?
- No.
281
00:29:33,200 --> 00:29:35,640
Lucy, Peter and Susan
are not my family.
282
00:29:35,760 --> 00:29:37,680
We're all just a bunch of orphans.
283
00:29:37,760 --> 00:29:39,960
The prophecy!
284
00:29:40,080 --> 00:29:43,120
Please.
285
00:29:43,200 --> 00:29:45,560
Let me help you up.
286
00:29:49,200 --> 00:29:50,720
Wow.
287
00:29:50,840 --> 00:29:54,240
- Oh, you must be parched.
- Yes.
288
00:30:02,560 --> 00:30:04,480
Whoa.
289
00:30:05,920 --> 00:30:07,640
Wow. A 40?
290
00:30:17,600 --> 00:30:20,120
- Ah.
- Drink.
291
00:30:23,840 --> 00:30:25,920
Fresh dog piss.
Go ahead.
292
00:30:27,000 --> 00:30:29,240
Yeah!
293
00:30:29,320 --> 00:30:31,640
I love this place.
294
00:30:31,720 --> 00:30:34,040
And this can all be your new home.
295
00:30:34,120 --> 00:30:37,040
With my help, you can be king.
296
00:30:38,320 --> 00:30:41,240
Wha-What? King?
297
00:30:42,960 --> 00:30:45,280
He can't be king-
Oww!
298
00:30:45,400 --> 00:30:47,120
And you would be my queen?
299
00:30:51,440 --> 00:30:53,560
I've never had a girlfriend before.
300
00:30:53,680 --> 00:30:56,000
Oh!
301
00:31:02,880 --> 00:31:04,800
Ah!
302
00:31:10,800 --> 00:31:12,880
How about that?
303
00:31:14,920 --> 00:31:17,880
Oh, but first
I must meet the others.
304
00:31:18,000 --> 00:31:20,920
Why? You're not gonna make
Peter king too, are you?
305
00:31:21,040 --> 00:31:23,360
Oh! No.
306
00:31:23,480 --> 00:31:27,800
But every king
needs subjects to boss around.
307
00:31:31,600 --> 00:31:33,400
But, Your Majesty-
308
00:31:37,360 --> 00:31:40,080
Behold, my white castle.
309
00:31:41,280 --> 00:31:43,120
White Castle?
310
00:31:43,200 --> 00:31:46,000
I feel like I've been there before.
311
00:31:46,080 --> 00:31:49,440
Bring me the others,
and I'll crown you king.
312
00:31:50,520 --> 00:31:52,880
Yes!
313
00:32:11,280 --> 00:32:13,560
Lucy?
314
00:32:13,680 --> 00:32:15,840
Edward!
315
00:32:15,960 --> 00:32:18,320
You went through
the wardrobe too.
316
00:32:18,440 --> 00:32:20,560
- Lucy!
- Lucy!
317
00:32:20,640 --> 00:32:22,640
- Edward!
- Edward?
318
00:32:24,480 --> 00:32:26,400
This is quite a hiding place.
319
00:32:26,520 --> 00:32:28,760
We have to go now.
We're in grave danger.
320
00:32:28,840 --> 00:32:31,800
Oh, no, no. We should stay right here.
What's the hurry, Lucy?
321
00:32:31,880 --> 00:32:33,720
I mean, they just got here.
322
00:32:33,800 --> 00:32:35,440
Hey, look!
I'm spelling my name!
323
00:32:38,000 --> 00:32:40,640
- Mm-mmm.
- Please!
324
00:32:40,760 --> 00:32:43,120
We have to go.
Mr. Tumnus told me.
325
00:32:43,200 --> 00:32:45,560
Mr. Tumnus?
Who the bloody hell's that?
326
00:32:45,640 --> 00:32:48,400
I love Sudoku!
327
00:32:51,120 --> 00:32:52,920
He's a goat-man...
328
00:32:53,000 --> 00:32:54,800
and he warned of great peril!
329
00:32:54,880 --> 00:32:56,720
- Oh, Lucy.
- Fine!
330
00:32:56,800 --> 00:33:00,080
If you think I'm lying,
just go ask him yourself!
331
00:33:00,160 --> 00:33:01,720
Hmph.
332
00:33:04,880 --> 00:33:07,280
This is gonna be
harder than I thought.
333
00:33:09,600 --> 00:33:11,840
Hey, look!
Nicole Richie!
334
00:33:11,960 --> 00:33:14,160
Mm-mmm.
335
00:33:27,960 --> 00:33:29,560
Mr. Tumnus?
336
00:33:32,960 --> 00:33:35,000
Shit.
I know what happened.
337
00:33:35,080 --> 00:33:37,400
- What the hell is that thing?
- It's a talking beaver!
338
00:33:37,480 --> 00:33:39,200
- Holy shit!
- Get it outta here!
339
00:33:39,320 --> 00:33:41,920
No!
Motherf-
340
00:33:48,160 --> 00:33:51,480
Something in my groin tells me
you're not used to a talking beaver.
341
00:33:51,600 --> 00:33:53,880
My name is Harry Beaver.
342
00:33:55,760 --> 00:33:58,240
Mr. Tumnus is my life partner.
343
00:33:58,360 --> 00:34:00,080
Mmm. Sweet man.
344
00:34:02,320 --> 00:34:04,720
Mr. Tumnus was taken
by the White Bitch.
345
00:34:04,840 --> 00:34:07,160
She's hot-
I mean, never heard of her.
346
00:34:07,280 --> 00:34:11,120
The evil ruler. She arrested
Mr. Tumnus for hiding a human.
347
00:34:11,200 --> 00:34:13,400
Is there anything
we can do to help?
348
00:34:13,480 --> 00:34:15,320
Uh, yes.
You must go to Aslo.
349
00:34:15,400 --> 00:34:18,040
He's waiting for you
at the Ancient Table.
350
00:34:18,160 --> 00:34:21,720
- Who's Aslo?
- Who's Aslo?
351
00:34:21,840 --> 00:34:23,440
He's the true king of Gnarnia.
352
00:34:23,520 --> 00:34:26,040
- Not for long.
- Hello? The prophecy?
353
00:34:26,160 --> 00:34:30,640
The four of you will join Aslo and lead
the resistance to destroy the White Bitch.
354
00:34:30,720 --> 00:34:32,760
- Us?
- Yes. You're all heroes.
355
00:34:32,880 --> 00:34:34,800
Especially you, Peter.
356
00:34:34,920 --> 00:34:39,320
My son,
I have sent you to Earth for a reason.
357
00:34:39,400 --> 00:34:41,520
You will be the savior
of all mankind.
358
00:34:45,960 --> 00:34:48,320
You are truly invincible.
359
00:35:00,120 --> 00:35:03,840
Oh, my God! You shot me
in the fucking eye! That really hurts!
360
00:35:03,960 --> 00:35:07,960
Why would you do that?
That was so unnecessary! You bastard!
361
00:35:14,320 --> 00:35:17,200
- But I can't be.
"But I can't be." Why him?
362
00:35:17,280 --> 00:35:20,600
Well, maybe not Superman,
but a hero all the same.
363
00:35:20,680 --> 00:35:22,560
It's your destiny.
364
00:35:26,240 --> 00:35:28,960
Do you think you were
all brought together by chance?
365
00:35:29,080 --> 00:35:32,120
Look at the clues.
They're all around you.
366
00:35:39,840 --> 00:35:42,400
Oh, that's nice.
367
00:35:55,960 --> 00:35:57,840
We're all in the painting.
368
00:36:01,920 --> 00:36:03,600
But what does it mean?
369
00:36:14,480 --> 00:36:16,360
Right.
370
00:36:20,040 --> 00:36:22,120
It's a "cryptix."
371
00:36:22,240 --> 00:36:24,600
The curator taught me
how to decipher these.
372
00:36:30,280 --> 00:36:32,240
Upsy-daisy.
373
00:36:43,680 --> 00:36:45,600
Be careful.
374
00:36:55,400 --> 00:36:58,040
Well, what is it?
375
00:36:58,120 --> 00:36:59,800
It's our birth certificates.
376
00:37:02,560 --> 00:37:06,520
We all have the same last name
and the same parents.
377
00:37:09,760 --> 00:37:12,080
- I don't get it.
- You're all related!
378
00:37:13,240 --> 00:37:15,040
Brothers and sisters.
379
00:37:15,160 --> 00:37:17,360
You're a family, for Christ sakes!
380
00:37:18,880 --> 00:37:21,840
- Sorry.
- Is it really true?
381
00:37:21,920 --> 00:37:24,800
None of us ever had
a real family before.
382
00:37:24,920 --> 00:37:27,640
None of us ever had a real family before.
383
00:37:27,720 --> 00:37:30,800
It's true.
You're quadruplets.
384
00:37:30,880 --> 00:37:34,240
- But our parents-
- Killed by the White Bitch.
385
00:37:34,360 --> 00:37:39,320
Then she separated the four of you
so the prophecy would never be fulfilled.
386
00:37:41,440 --> 00:37:43,360
Where's Edward?
387
00:37:46,400 --> 00:37:48,160
Hey, honey, I'm home.
388
00:37:48,280 --> 00:37:50,200
Hey, buddy.
Did you miss me?
389
00:37:50,320 --> 00:37:52,600
Ohh!
390
00:37:54,640 --> 00:37:56,760
- Why?
- 'Cause I ain't your buddy!
391
00:37:57,920 --> 00:38:00,240
Where are the others?
392
00:38:00,320 --> 00:38:03,120
I thought we had something special.
393
00:38:03,200 --> 00:38:06,000
I even got a tattoo
with your name on it.
394
00:38:10,320 --> 00:38:13,600
That looks more like
50 Cent's tattoo, you idiot.
395
00:38:13,720 --> 00:38:16,720
Shit!
They did the wrong one.
396
00:38:19,080 --> 00:38:23,160
I won't ask again.
Where is the rest of your family?
397
00:38:23,240 --> 00:38:26,480
I told you,
they're not my family.
398
00:38:28,880 --> 00:38:30,720
Tell me where they are.
399
00:38:30,840 --> 00:38:33,120
Never.
400
00:38:39,360 --> 00:38:42,640
Yeah, they went to Mr. Tumnus's house.
401
00:38:43,800 --> 00:38:47,560
Yes! Yes!
You just got punk'd! Yes!
402
00:38:48,560 --> 00:38:50,360
He did it!
He did it!
403
00:38:50,480 --> 00:38:53,200
Say it to the camera.
Come on, say it right there.
404
00:38:53,280 --> 00:38:55,120
- Say it!
- I just got punk'd.
405
00:38:55,200 --> 00:38:57,720
Schwow! Yeah!
406
00:38:57,800 --> 00:39:01,880
We just punk'd Edward!
Schwow! Schwow! Yeah!
407
00:39:02,000 --> 00:39:05,600
That was awesome!
Yeah! Yes!
408
00:39:05,720 --> 00:39:08,240
This thing up here is all me, baby!
409
00:39:08,320 --> 00:39:10,160
The trucker hat-
That's awesome!
410
00:39:10,240 --> 00:39:13,400
I did it. You love it.
You'll take it. Punk'd 'im!
411
00:39:13,480 --> 00:39:17,280
- That was really funny! Oh, my gosh! Too funny!
- You are so annoying!
412
00:39:19,880 --> 00:39:21,880
No, that was really funny though!
413
00:39:22,000 --> 00:39:24,320
Schwow! Schwow! Schwow!
Schwow! Schwow!
414
00:39:24,440 --> 00:39:26,880
Candy-ass trucker hat!
415
00:39:27,000 --> 00:39:30,000
Schwow. Schwow.
416
00:39:30,080 --> 00:39:32,000
Silas!
417
00:39:39,320 --> 00:39:42,040
The kids are with Mr. Tumnus.
418
00:39:42,160 --> 00:39:45,080
I want you to find them
and kill them.
419
00:39:45,200 --> 00:39:49,120
Persona non grata.
Magna cum laude.
420
00:39:59,040 --> 00:40:04,560
Urts-hay oh-say ood-gay!
Ooh!
421
00:40:04,640 --> 00:40:07,040
Ood-gay.
422
00:40:07,120 --> 00:40:10,000
Ooh.
423
00:40:10,080 --> 00:40:12,000
No. No!
424
00:40:12,120 --> 00:40:14,000
- Here. You goin' to prison.
- Ow! Dude!
425
00:40:15,760 --> 00:40:18,000
- Edward!
- Edward!
- Edward!
426
00:40:18,080 --> 00:40:20,960
- Edward!
- Mr. Tumnus!
427
00:40:32,640 --> 00:40:35,000
I miss the smell of you, Harry Beaver.
428
00:40:39,080 --> 00:40:40,960
Eew.
429
00:40:43,160 --> 00:40:45,760
Oh, yeah.
430
00:40:48,360 --> 00:40:51,800
The White Bitch did this to you?
Shit!
431
00:40:51,880 --> 00:40:54,720
And now she has Edward.
432
00:40:54,840 --> 00:40:57,120
- We must rescue hi-
- Get ahold of yourself, Lucy!
433
00:40:57,240 --> 00:40:59,200
- Holy-
- It's too dangerous.
434
00:40:59,320 --> 00:41:01,920
If she catch you,
you are as good as dead.
435
00:41:02,040 --> 00:41:05,080
Um, that's me.
436
00:41:08,000 --> 00:41:09,840
"The resistance has found out...
437
00:41:09,920 --> 00:41:12,840
"that the White Bitch has completed
her weapon of mass destruction...
438
00:41:12,960 --> 00:41:14,680
and is going to launch it
in 24 hours."
439
00:41:14,800 --> 00:41:17,880
Let's get the hell out of here!
440
00:41:17,960 --> 00:41:20,440
Aslo is the only one
that can help now.
441
00:41:20,560 --> 00:41:23,160
Then take us to him.
442
00:41:25,160 --> 00:41:27,040
What'd you do that for?
443
00:41:29,280 --> 00:41:31,120
I forgot.
444
00:41:31,200 --> 00:41:34,960
Before you meet Aslo,
you must train.
445
00:41:35,040 --> 00:41:37,760
Only then you can defeat
the White Bitch...
446
00:41:37,880 --> 00:41:39,680
and save your brother.
447
00:41:39,800 --> 00:41:42,520
I'll meet you at Aslo's.
May the Force be with you.
448
00:41:54,560 --> 00:41:58,960
Someone's coming.
The bitch is on to you. You must go now.
449
00:41:59,040 --> 00:42:01,600
There you will train.
450
00:42:01,720 --> 00:42:03,520
Go!
451
00:42:06,280 --> 00:42:08,120
Mr. Tumnus?
452
00:42:08,200 --> 00:42:11,440
I will stay behind
and fight him off.
453
00:42:13,440 --> 00:42:17,280
No matter what,
you must not come back for me.
454
00:42:17,400 --> 00:42:19,840
- Yep.
- Yi-yi-yi-yi-yi!
455
00:42:19,960 --> 00:42:22,440
Run!
456
00:42:36,120 --> 00:42:37,680
Stop!
457
00:42:37,760 --> 00:42:41,680
If you want them,
you'll have to go through me first.
458
00:42:42,840 --> 00:42:46,880
Please! Help!
459
00:42:47,000 --> 00:42:49,200
He needs our help!
460
00:42:49,280 --> 00:42:51,520
- Help!
- No, Susan, Lucy.
461
00:42:51,640 --> 00:42:53,640
He... wants us to go on.
462
00:42:53,760 --> 00:42:56,120
He sacrificed himself for us.
463
00:42:56,200 --> 00:42:59,000
Peter, if you can hear me...
464
00:42:59,120 --> 00:43:00,960
come back now!
465
00:43:03,000 --> 00:43:06,000
I definitely underestimated
the situation.
466
00:43:08,120 --> 00:43:09,880
I'm in a lot of pain!
467
00:43:09,960 --> 00:43:11,800
What should we do?
468
00:43:11,880 --> 00:43:14,680
Uh, we can't go back.
We have to-
469
00:43:14,760 --> 00:43:18,640
- We have to do what's best
for Edward and for Gnarnia.
- Screw Gnarnia!
470
00:43:20,640 --> 00:43:22,640
He's testing us.
471
00:43:22,720 --> 00:43:25,880
This is not a test!
I can see my brains!
472
00:43:41,880 --> 00:43:44,240
Et tu, Brute?
473
00:44:17,400 --> 00:44:20,480
Welcome!
My name is Harry Potter!
474
00:44:20,600 --> 00:44:23,840
Aren't you a little old
to still be a student here?
475
00:44:23,960 --> 00:44:26,240
Nonsense.
I am but 14.
476
00:44:26,360 --> 00:44:29,520
As are my two best friends,
Ron and Hermione.
477
00:44:30,760 --> 00:44:32,640
Greetings.
478
00:44:34,040 --> 00:44:36,360
Hope you chicks are on the pill.
479
00:44:36,480 --> 00:44:38,280
Harry likes to get wasted...
480
00:44:38,400 --> 00:44:40,480
then show off
his sorcerer's stones.
481
00:44:42,560 --> 00:44:46,320
They are definitely too old
to still be doing this shit.
482
00:44:46,400 --> 00:44:49,200
We shall train you
so you can defeat the White Bitch...
483
00:44:49,280 --> 00:44:51,120
and restore peace to Gnarnia.
484
00:44:51,200 --> 00:44:54,360
We'll show you everything we know,
like how to use...
485
00:44:54,440 --> 00:44:56,880
the invisibility cloak.
486
00:45:03,560 --> 00:45:06,000
Oh, no!
I'm completely invisible!
487
00:45:06,080 --> 00:45:08,760
Where am I?
Who's that?
488
00:45:08,840 --> 00:45:11,680
- Where am I? I could be anywhere.
- Harry. Harry!
489
00:45:11,800 --> 00:45:13,680
Where am I?
490
00:45:20,160 --> 00:45:22,320
Step off, Potter!
491
00:45:22,400 --> 00:45:24,920
Right.
Wrong cloak.
492
00:45:25,000 --> 00:45:27,160
Let the training montage begin!
493
00:45:27,240 --> 00:45:29,080
Cue inspirational music.
494
00:45:29,160 --> 00:45:31,040
Blame the cloak.
495
00:45:32,200 --> 00:45:35,520
- Get your hips nice and square.
- Okay, uh-
496
00:45:35,600 --> 00:45:38,000
- All right. I'll set it up for you.
- Okay.
497
00:45:38,120 --> 00:45:40,000
- You ready?
- Yeah, I'm ready.
498
00:45:51,080 --> 00:45:53,720
Ipso facto "patrolo!"
499
00:45:53,840 --> 00:45:56,640
Oh! Yeah!
500
00:46:00,600 --> 00:46:03,160
Confront your fear!
501
00:46:03,280 --> 00:46:06,040
Do not cower
in the face of danger!
502
00:46:06,160 --> 00:46:10,080
Let nothing stand in the way of defeating
your enemy! Come on, Peter!
503
00:46:10,200 --> 00:46:12,440
Stop being such a little nancy boy!
504
00:46:12,560 --> 00:46:15,960
Schoolgirl! Pussy!
Chicken!
505
00:46:31,680 --> 00:46:34,960
Congratulations, Peter.
Your training is now complete.
506
00:46:35,080 --> 00:46:38,360
- You are now ready to meet Aslo.
- Yes!
507
00:46:38,440 --> 00:46:43,800
This crystal will finally
put an end to the resistance.
508
00:46:43,880 --> 00:46:47,280
I will start a series of earthquakes...
509
00:46:47,360 --> 00:46:50,160
that will collapse all of Gnarnia...
510
00:46:50,240 --> 00:46:52,480
and grow a new continent...
511
00:46:52,600 --> 00:46:55,800
where only I
and my followers will live.
512
00:46:57,760 --> 00:47:01,360
Yo, Bitch, that's pretty much
the plot of Superman Returns.
513
00:47:01,440 --> 00:47:03,480
Pretty much, yeah.
514
00:47:17,680 --> 00:47:20,440
It's an I.M. from Silas.
515
00:47:21,880 --> 00:47:24,000
"The... keeds...
516
00:47:24,120 --> 00:47:26,440
"have...
517
00:47:26,560 --> 00:47:29,440
esca-puh-duh."
518
00:47:29,560 --> 00:47:32,000
"Escap-puh-duh."
519
00:47:32,120 --> 00:47:34,960
"The keeds have esca-puh-duh."
520
00:47:36,520 --> 00:47:38,520
The kids have escaped!
521
00:47:40,080 --> 00:47:41,520
Duh!
522
00:47:43,400 --> 00:47:48,440
I've got to catch and kill those children
before they ruin everything.
523
00:47:48,520 --> 00:47:50,680
See what else Edward knows.
524
00:47:50,800 --> 00:47:52,560
Let me out!
525
00:47:52,640 --> 00:47:54,960
Oh, I gotta get outta here.
526
00:47:55,040 --> 00:47:57,360
I'm never gonna see
my family again.
527
00:47:58,520 --> 00:48:00,400
I'll get you out of here, mate.
528
00:48:03,880 --> 00:48:06,680
Captain Morgan!
I love your rum!
529
00:48:07,880 --> 00:48:11,760
No!
Captain Jack Swallows.
530
00:48:14,040 --> 00:48:16,480
At your service.
531
00:48:16,600 --> 00:48:19,360
Jack Swallows?
532
00:48:19,480 --> 00:48:21,680
That's kinda gay, dude.
533
00:48:21,760 --> 00:48:23,600
Mmm.
534
00:48:23,680 --> 00:48:28,080
I believe in your quest, son,
and I'll reunite you with your family.
535
00:48:28,160 --> 00:48:31,840
I've got a ship waiting for us.
536
00:48:31,960 --> 00:48:34,800
Shh.
537
00:48:34,920 --> 00:48:37,600
How are we gonna
get out of here?
538
00:48:37,720 --> 00:48:39,600
Ah!
539
00:48:44,440 --> 00:48:46,520
Man down! Man down!
540
00:48:46,600 --> 00:48:48,480
I could have faked it!
541
00:48:52,120 --> 00:48:54,360
Quick!
He needs your help!
542
00:49:09,440 --> 00:49:11,400
Come, come!
We haven't got all day!
543
00:49:40,360 --> 00:49:42,640
Mmm!
544
00:49:42,720 --> 00:49:44,960
Wow!
A real pirate ship!
545
00:49:45,080 --> 00:49:47,960
Peter, Lucy and Susan
won't believe this.
546
00:49:49,280 --> 00:49:51,920
Hey, this is awesome.
What's it like being a pirate?
547
00:49:52,000 --> 00:49:55,960
Yo-ho, Ed, let me
break it down for you.
548
00:51:23,520 --> 00:51:25,320
Word to the Kraken!
549
00:51:28,440 --> 00:51:30,800
Time is winding, old boy.
550
00:51:30,920 --> 00:51:32,880
So where's your family, eh?
551
00:51:33,000 --> 00:51:35,800
They're on their way to
the Ancient Tables to meet Aslo...
552
00:51:35,920 --> 00:51:37,720
where he's assembled
the resistance.
553
00:51:37,840 --> 00:51:40,600
Interesting.
554
00:51:40,680 --> 00:51:42,640
God, you're easy.
555
00:51:49,760 --> 00:51:52,320
Thanks, love.
Oh, my.
556
00:51:54,080 --> 00:51:57,040
Wait. So this whole thing was a setup
just to get information out of me?
557
00:51:57,160 --> 00:52:01,120
Sorry, mate.
This isn't even a working pirate ship. Savvy?
558
00:52:06,760 --> 00:52:10,160
- Oh, shit!
- It was nice doin' business with you, love.
559
00:52:12,240 --> 00:52:13,840
Bugger!
560
00:52:16,800 --> 00:52:20,280
I'll get you for this...
561
00:52:20,400 --> 00:52:23,000
you-you-
562
00:52:23,080 --> 00:52:26,200
you... bitch.
563
00:52:31,040 --> 00:52:34,800
I always hated you,
Captain Jack Swallows.
564
00:52:38,320 --> 00:52:42,040
You think I like wearin' this
funny-lookin' hat? I'll roast your nuts!
565
00:52:42,160 --> 00:52:44,440
So...
566
00:52:44,560 --> 00:52:47,200
your family's going to Aslo.
567
00:52:47,320 --> 00:52:50,240
Summon the troops.
568
00:52:50,360 --> 00:52:53,040
If it's a war they want...
569
00:52:53,120 --> 00:52:55,120
it's a war they will get.
570
00:52:58,240 --> 00:53:00,600
Let's start things off
with a bang, shall we?
571
00:53:00,720 --> 00:53:03,640
- But you'll kill millions.
- Billions.
572
00:53:05,120 --> 00:53:07,600
Come on.
Let me hear you say it.
573
00:53:07,680 --> 00:53:10,560
- My family will stop you!
- Wrong!
574
00:53:10,680 --> 00:53:13,400
Ooh!
575
00:53:26,840 --> 00:53:29,200
Oh, shit. Oh, shit.
576
00:53:30,880 --> 00:53:33,400
Oh! Ooh!
577
00:53:33,520 --> 00:53:35,800
Oh! Ooh!
578
00:53:35,920 --> 00:53:38,680
Damn that Superman plot!
579
00:54:18,680 --> 00:54:20,920
My name Borat.
580
00:54:21,000 --> 00:54:24,600
This my country of Gnarnia.
Is nice!
581
00:54:33,920 --> 00:54:35,840
She is my sister.
582
00:54:35,960 --> 00:54:39,800
She is number four faun prostitute
in all of Gnarnia.
583
00:54:39,920 --> 00:54:41,720
Nice!
584
00:54:52,400 --> 00:54:54,680
Aslo?
585
00:54:54,760 --> 00:54:56,880
Mmm!
586
00:54:56,960 --> 00:55:00,320
Where you goin', doll face?
I just took my Cialis.
587
00:55:00,440 --> 00:55:02,320
Screw you, Aslo!
588
00:55:03,640 --> 00:55:06,680
Ah, thanks a lot.
589
00:55:06,800 --> 00:55:08,240
You're Aslo the Lion?
590
00:55:08,320 --> 00:55:11,760
Li-man-
half lion, half man.
591
00:55:11,840 --> 00:55:16,080
- So you mean you're-
- My father Siegfried boinked a lion.
592
00:55:16,160 --> 00:55:20,400
But, you know,
what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.
593
00:55:20,480 --> 00:55:25,080
Let me guess. The prophecy family.
594
00:55:25,200 --> 00:55:27,360
Uh-huh.
We've come a long way.
595
00:55:27,480 --> 00:55:30,400
Whatever.
You're missing one.
596
00:55:30,520 --> 00:55:33,280
- Yes, our brother Edward.
- Yes, our brother Edward.
597
00:55:34,640 --> 00:55:37,520
He betrayed you,
went to the White Bitch.
598
00:55:37,640 --> 00:55:40,280
- Well, it wasn't his fault.
- Yada yada yada.
599
00:55:40,400 --> 00:55:45,520
- But the prophecy says-
- "But the prophecy, the prophecy."
600
00:55:45,600 --> 00:55:47,840
Fine.
I'll help you get Edward back.
601
00:55:47,960 --> 00:55:49,240
- Oh!
- Mmm!
602
00:55:49,320 --> 00:55:53,240
But there's something
you've got to do for me.
603
00:55:58,120 --> 00:56:00,200
What are you in here for, Mel?
604
00:56:03,200 --> 00:56:04,960
You know.
605
00:56:05,080 --> 00:56:07,320
Glug, glug.
Vroom, vroom.
606
00:56:07,400 --> 00:56:09,560
Whoo!
607
00:56:13,720 --> 00:56:16,160
Listen, sugar tits.
F.Y.I.
608
00:56:16,280 --> 00:56:18,960
I like to sleep in the buff.
609
00:56:28,240 --> 00:56:30,440
Wow.
610
00:56:30,520 --> 00:56:32,640
Yeah.
611
00:56:32,760 --> 00:56:36,280
- That was spectacular.
- My butt's sore.
612
00:56:36,400 --> 00:56:38,200
Uh-oh!
613
00:56:38,320 --> 00:56:40,600
Dutch oven!
614
00:56:40,720 --> 00:56:43,280
Ooh!
615
00:56:51,920 --> 00:56:54,080
It's Aslo!
616
00:57:01,640 --> 00:57:06,960
In nomine Patris, et Filii,
et Spiritus Sancti.
617
00:57:47,040 --> 00:57:49,200
Huh?
618
00:58:22,520 --> 00:58:24,320
Come on, kids.
619
00:58:31,240 --> 00:58:34,040
Peter? Lucy! Susan!
620
00:58:34,120 --> 00:58:38,360
Oh, you guys, I've been such a prick.
Won't you ever forgive me?
621
00:58:38,440 --> 00:58:40,280
We already have.
622
00:58:40,400 --> 00:58:44,120
- We're a family now.
- We're a family now.
623
00:58:44,200 --> 00:58:46,640
I like the sound of that.
624
00:58:50,120 --> 00:58:54,200
- I love you guys.
- Oh, have your Dr. Phil moment later.
625
00:58:54,320 --> 00:58:56,920
- Now get out of here!
- Go, go, go.
626
00:59:04,320 --> 00:59:07,600
Good-bye, Aslo.
627
00:59:22,800 --> 00:59:24,640
What?
What's wrong?
628
00:59:24,720 --> 00:59:27,160
He didn't make it.
629
00:59:27,280 --> 00:59:29,040
Oh, shit! A talking beaver!
630
00:59:29,160 --> 00:59:30,720
Wait!
631
00:59:33,520 --> 00:59:36,320
Oh, it's hard out here
for a beaver.
632
00:59:36,400 --> 00:59:39,440
You forgetful bitch!
I already met you.
633
00:59:39,560 --> 00:59:41,960
I know. Yeah.
634
00:59:42,080 --> 00:59:47,480
Aslo never came back.
The White Bitch killed him.
635
00:59:47,600 --> 00:59:50,720
And it gets worse.
636
00:59:55,120 --> 00:59:57,440
It's over.
637
00:59:59,240 --> 01:00:01,280
The White Bitch
will surely rule forever.
638
01:00:01,360 --> 01:00:03,600
But we have you.
You will lead us.
639
01:00:03,680 --> 01:00:06,080
You're the future
kings and queens of Gnarnia.
640
01:00:06,160 --> 01:00:08,760
It will be an honor
to fight for you, my lords.
641
01:00:08,880 --> 01:00:10,880
We'll fight for you.
642
01:00:12,880 --> 01:00:14,680
And so will we.
643
01:00:14,800 --> 01:00:18,040
We'll stand behind you, Peter.
644
01:00:18,160 --> 01:00:22,680
That bitch has threatened
our mutant way of life for too long.
645
01:00:22,800 --> 01:00:25,040
We believe in you.
646
01:00:30,480 --> 01:00:32,320
Tomorrow, we fight.
647
01:00:32,400 --> 01:00:34,680
So tonight, we party!
648
01:00:36,720 --> 01:00:40,640
Hello, Gnarnia!
Are you ready for rock and roll?
649
01:01:07,280 --> 01:01:09,800
Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!
Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!
650
01:01:09,880 --> 01:01:12,760
Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!
Chug! Chug! Chug!
651
01:01:12,880 --> 01:01:14,920
Yeah!
652
01:01:15,040 --> 01:01:16,720
Yeah!
653
01:01:16,840 --> 01:01:18,640
You're up, Sis.
654
01:01:18,760 --> 01:01:21,680
Uh-uh.
I like to keep a clear head.
655
01:01:21,800 --> 01:01:24,360
Come on. Loosen up for once.
You wanna-
656
01:01:24,480 --> 01:01:28,120
You wanna, you know,
get your swerve on, like this.
657
01:01:28,240 --> 01:01:31,600
Like that. And then-
658
01:01:31,720 --> 01:01:35,520
No. Why?
What's the worst that could happen?
659
01:01:39,200 --> 01:01:41,360
- Maybe just one.
- All right.
660
01:01:45,040 --> 01:01:47,480
- Whoo-hoo!
- Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!
661
01:01:47,600 --> 01:01:49,840
Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!
662
01:01:49,920 --> 01:01:52,080
Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!
663
01:02:06,120 --> 01:02:09,680
Hi.
664
01:02:09,800 --> 01:02:12,280
Hi.
665
01:02:12,400 --> 01:02:15,960
So, you're gonna be
the king of Gnarnia?
666
01:02:17,480 --> 01:02:19,680
- That's what they say.
- Mmm.
667
01:02:19,760 --> 01:02:22,960
I think that's so hot.
668
01:02:23,080 --> 01:02:27,120
Why don't we get out of here.
669
01:02:30,640 --> 01:02:32,800
Chug! Chug! Chug!
Chug! Chug! Chug!
670
01:02:32,880 --> 01:02:36,640
Chug it!
671
01:02:36,720 --> 01:02:41,080
Whoo! Yeah!
672
01:03:10,160 --> 01:03:12,200
I'm okay.
673
01:03:12,320 --> 01:03:14,000
You're good?
674
01:03:15,600 --> 01:03:18,000
- Hmm?
- I'm okay.
675
01:03:21,280 --> 01:03:23,520
Oh!
676
01:03:44,720 --> 01:03:49,080
Oh.
677
01:03:58,000 --> 01:04:00,440
- You know, I've got special powers.
- Uh-huh.
678
01:04:00,560 --> 01:04:03,200
I'm a shape-changer.
679
01:04:03,280 --> 01:04:06,160
I can change my form into anything.
680
01:04:06,280 --> 01:04:07,760
What do you like?
681
01:04:07,880 --> 01:04:09,800
Uh-
682
01:04:12,040 --> 01:04:15,360
Big hooters
with silver dollar nipples?
683
01:04:15,440 --> 01:04:17,360
All right.
684
01:04:23,760 --> 01:04:26,680
And a ghetto booty.
685
01:04:26,800 --> 01:04:29,680
Like- Like a lot of junk
in the trunk, say.
686
01:04:29,800 --> 01:04:33,680
Kinky. Mmm.
687
01:04:37,520 --> 01:04:39,840
Badonkadonk.
688
01:04:39,920 --> 01:04:43,040
- And a mono-brow!
- Come again?
689
01:04:43,120 --> 01:04:45,640
Mono-brow! Mono-brow!
King wants a mono-brow!
690
01:04:45,720 --> 01:04:47,600
Okay, okay.
691
01:04:53,160 --> 01:04:55,480
And big, flabby grandma arms.
692
01:04:55,600 --> 01:04:58,080
Oh!
693
01:04:58,160 --> 01:05:02,320
Bingo wings,
like a fat, blue Britney Spears.
694
01:05:02,400 --> 01:05:05,040
Oh, that's what I'm talking about.
695
01:05:06,800 --> 01:05:09,440
Come here!
696
01:05:34,120 --> 01:05:35,920
Where is everybody?
697
01:05:39,400 --> 01:05:42,960
I don't know. Maybe it had something to do
with Susan puking on everyone last night.
698
01:05:44,040 --> 01:05:45,840
We seem to be outnumbered.
699
01:06:16,240 --> 01:06:18,360
No.
700
01:06:18,480 --> 01:06:20,760
I'm not running anymore.
701
01:06:25,960 --> 01:06:28,240
Ow!
702
01:06:32,880 --> 01:06:35,000
Oh!
703
01:06:35,120 --> 01:06:38,480
We may not have the numbers on our side
or the weapons she possesses...
704
01:06:38,600 --> 01:06:40,640
but we have something
far more powerful.
705
01:06:40,720 --> 01:06:42,520
Perky breasts?
706
01:06:44,960 --> 01:06:46,800
The strength of our family.
707
01:06:46,880 --> 01:06:49,560
I'd follow you anywhere, brother.
708
01:06:59,160 --> 01:07:01,120
Oh, my-
709
01:07:03,520 --> 01:07:08,080
Revenge is... mine!
710
01:07:08,160 --> 01:07:10,040
Jack Swallows!
711
01:07:15,440 --> 01:07:19,360
Payback is a bitch, White Bitch!
712
01:07:19,440 --> 01:07:23,920
You owe me your soul,
Jack Swallows, and it's time to pay up!
713
01:07:58,240 --> 01:08:01,240
Oh!
She's blinded me, matey!
714
01:08:10,440 --> 01:08:12,320
Oh, bugger!
715
01:08:14,240 --> 01:08:15,920
What a tool.
716
01:08:19,440 --> 01:08:21,240
Show them no mercy.
717
01:09:08,520 --> 01:09:11,760
Take that, Kumar!
Huh!
718
01:09:24,280 --> 01:09:27,840
No!
719
01:09:36,960 --> 01:09:39,040
Oh, yes.
720
01:09:41,520 --> 01:09:44,240
Yes, that's right.
Grovel.
721
01:09:46,280 --> 01:09:50,400
Just like your parents did
before I killed them.
722
01:10:06,000 --> 01:10:08,440
Wow. Let's slow things down
for a better look.
723
01:10:19,520 --> 01:10:21,120
Ah.
724
01:10:21,200 --> 01:10:22,560
Oh! Oh, dear.
725
01:10:26,080 --> 01:10:30,320
Oh, that's-
That-That is dis-
726
01:10:38,440 --> 01:10:40,240
Oh.
727
01:11:06,480 --> 01:11:09,080
Ooh!
728
01:11:19,040 --> 01:11:21,840
Let's get 'em!
729
01:12:08,800 --> 01:12:11,000
Oh, I'm gonna enjoy this.
730
01:12:32,680 --> 01:12:35,280
It's the crystal!
731
01:12:35,400 --> 01:12:38,040
- We're all gonna die!
- We're all gonna die!
732
01:12:39,280 --> 01:12:42,000
Give me the remote control.
733
01:12:47,760 --> 01:12:50,720
Yes!
734
01:12:56,640 --> 01:13:00,880
No, stop.
We will not stoop to her level.
735
01:13:01,960 --> 01:13:04,360
I hate those fuckin' kids.
736
01:13:04,480 --> 01:13:07,240
The new Gnarnia
will be a democracy...
737
01:13:07,320 --> 01:13:09,800
complete with due process.
738
01:13:09,880 --> 01:13:13,880
She shall be given a fair trial,
judged by a jury of her peers.
739
01:13:14,000 --> 01:13:17,440
Sorry, Bitch.
740
01:13:19,720 --> 01:13:22,480
Right.
741
01:13:22,600 --> 01:13:24,760
Oh, screw her anyway.
742
01:13:26,560 --> 01:13:29,120
Make a beaver a hole.
Get your butt out of my face.
743
01:13:29,200 --> 01:13:31,440
Hot, moist beaver comin' through.
744
01:13:31,560 --> 01:13:34,520
May I present
the kings and queens of Gnarnia!
745
01:13:34,640 --> 01:13:37,920
Peter the Heroic.
746
01:13:38,000 --> 01:13:40,520
Susan the Just.
747
01:13:40,640 --> 01:13:43,080
Edward the Loyal.
748
01:13:43,200 --> 01:13:47,280
And Lucy the Dumb Shit.
749
01:13:47,360 --> 01:13:49,240
All hail!
750
01:14:18,240 --> 01:14:22,200
And so it was
that Peter, Susan, Edward and Lucy...
751
01:14:22,320 --> 01:14:25,040
restored peace to Gnarnia.
752
01:14:25,160 --> 01:14:29,960
They were orphans no more.
They were now a family.
753
01:14:31,160 --> 01:14:34,960
They ruled Gnarnia
for many years to come.
754
01:14:35,040 --> 01:14:38,400
That is, until they found
the wardrobe once again.
755
01:14:38,480 --> 01:14:40,320
Let's cross streams.
756
01:14:48,800 --> 01:14:50,640
There we go.
757
01:14:50,720 --> 01:14:52,880
Oops!
A little bit of blood.
758
01:15:04,800 --> 01:15:06,640
It's-
759
01:15:10,000 --> 01:15:13,760
- It's the wardrobe.
- It's been so long.
760
01:15:13,840 --> 01:15:15,920
It's been so long.
761
01:15:17,120 --> 01:15:19,960
Chuck Norris rules.
762
01:15:58,720 --> 01:16:01,080
We're young again!
763
01:16:02,800 --> 01:16:05,120
Jagshemash!
764
01:16:05,200 --> 01:16:09,480
You did it!
You make movie film have happy ending.
765
01:16:12,000 --> 01:16:13,560
Not!
766
01:17:41,680 --> 01:17:43,520
Oh, my-
767
01:17:47,720 --> 01:17:50,960
- Let us out, freak!
- No can do.
768
01:17:51,080 --> 01:17:53,040
I-
769
01:17:56,080 --> 01:18:01,680
No.
Captain Jack Swallows!
770
01:18:01,800 --> 01:18:05,600
Captain Jack Swallows!
771
01:18:05,680 --> 01:18:08,400
- Shit. Swallowing!
- Cut.
772
01:18:08,480 --> 01:18:12,280
No!
Captain Jack Swallows!
773
01:18:12,400 --> 01:18:15,040
Sorry.
774
01:18:15,120 --> 01:18:18,800
Wait. Can I ask you
something about the sucking?
775
01:18:18,880 --> 01:18:21,040
Am I-
776
01:18:21,120 --> 01:18:23,560
Am I, like, sucking the chrome off,
or is it-
777
01:18:23,640 --> 01:18:25,480
- Yeah.
- I mean- Okay.
778
01:18:25,560 --> 01:18:27,640
Here we go.
779
01:18:30,200 --> 01:18:33,080
Oh! Hey!
780
01:18:33,200 --> 01:18:36,040
Mmm. Mmm!
781
01:18:36,120 --> 01:18:39,040
Well, guess what.
782
01:18:39,120 --> 01:18:41,400
- What?
- Guess what.
783
01:18:41,520 --> 01:18:44,640
First-
784
01:18:44,720 --> 01:18:47,000
Mi, mi, mi, mi,
mi, mi, mi, mi, mi, mi!
785
01:18:47,120 --> 01:18:50,320
When I'm makin' you stuff,
quit cryin' and eat it!
786
01:18:50,440 --> 01:18:53,400
Your mother ate it!
She liked it. It was fine.
787
01:19:05,880 --> 01:19:08,120
- Where did I hit him? I hit him on the head.
- Cut!
788
01:19:14,440 --> 01:19:16,320
Shit.
789
01:19:21,040 --> 01:19:23,560
We'll stand behind you, Peter.
790
01:19:23,640 --> 01:19:26,240
That bitch has threatened
our way of life-
791
01:19:26,320 --> 01:19:29,240
Our mutant-
Shit. Sorry. Bollocks.
792
01:19:29,360 --> 01:19:31,600
She shall be given a fair trial...
793
01:19:31,680 --> 01:19:34,800
judged by a jury of her peers.
794
01:19:34,880 --> 01:19:37,200
We shall build a courthouse...
795
01:19:37,320 --> 01:19:40,560
with crushed velvet drapes
and ample parking.
796
01:19:42,080 --> 01:19:43,960
I'm so hot.
797
01:19:47,120 --> 01:19:50,120
Oh, my gosh. I passed the yellow line.
I just don't see it.
798
01:19:50,240 --> 01:19:54,800
Li-man-
half lion, half man.
799
01:19:54,920 --> 01:19:56,720
So you mean you're-
800
01:19:56,840 --> 01:19:58,760
My mom went to a party
at Siegfried and Roy's.
801
01:19:58,880 --> 01:20:02,280
She got drunk, and then
it was her turn in the barrel.
802
01:20:02,400 --> 01:20:04,240
It's a brutal game.
803
01:20:04,320 --> 01:20:07,160
Justice shall reign supreme...
804
01:20:07,280 --> 01:20:10,880
even for elves and fauns...
805
01:20:10,960 --> 01:20:14,280
albinos and the Irish.
806
01:20:21,920 --> 01:20:25,360
- I saw stripes!
- No! Man!
807
01:20:25,480 --> 01:20:28,800
We shall revolutionize
the health system.
808
01:20:28,880 --> 01:20:31,160
There will be no more
teenage pregnancies...
809
01:20:31,280 --> 01:20:33,520
without my consent...
810
01:20:33,640 --> 01:20:35,480
and without their consent.
811
01:20:35,600 --> 01:20:38,520
I shouldn't have had sex with Shrek!
812
01:20:38,640 --> 01:20:42,920
Like it or not, we're all in-
813
01:20:43,000 --> 01:20:46,040
- You okay?
- No. But go ahead.
814
01:20:46,160 --> 01:20:48,920
- Like it or not, we're all in this.
- Like it or not
815
01:20:49,040 --> 01:20:50,840
- Oh, I can't even do it now.
- Let's do it.
816
01:20:50,960 --> 01:20:54,800
Damn that Shrek!
He said he wasn't a carrier.
817
01:20:54,920 --> 01:20:58,920
Because, sweet tits,
we're four kids nobody would ever miss.
818
01:20:59,040 --> 01:21:01,240
We'll be stuck here
till we dizz-i rizz-i.
819
01:21:05,200 --> 01:21:07,040
Don't t-zelle me what to d-zoo!
820
01:21:07,120 --> 01:21:09,560
The White Bitch is no more.
821
01:21:09,680 --> 01:21:11,520
Now, we shall be queens.
822
01:21:11,600 --> 01:21:17,240
Last night, I had sex
with a unicorn. Nice!
823
01:21:17,360 --> 01:21:21,920
Hey, look.
It's Lindsay Lohan.
824
01:21:22,000 --> 01:21:24,000
I haven't got
enough left for Roseanne.
825
01:21:31,880 --> 01:21:34,040
- Oh. So I was supposed to- I supposed to fall?
- Cut it.
826
01:21:34,160 --> 01:21:35,960
- It's supposed to hit me, right?
- Yes.
827
01:21:37,360 --> 01:21:40,280
- Ooh!
- Cut!
828
01:21:40,400 --> 01:21:44,440
Oh. But I need something
about the others first.
829
01:21:44,560 --> 01:21:46,960
But first- Sorry.
Give me your hand.
830
01:21:48,480 --> 01:21:50,800
Oh, no!
831
01:21:50,920 --> 01:21:54,960
But kings need to boss
their subject's ship. What's the line?
832
01:21:55,080 --> 01:21:57,360
Yes.
833
01:21:57,440 --> 01:22:03,120
Bring me the others, and I'll crown you
the throne. Shit. Crown you what?
834
01:22:10,760 --> 01:22:13,440
I'm big.
I got big balls.
835
01:22:13,520 --> 01:22:15,720
See Epic Movie...
836
01:22:15,800 --> 01:22:19,720
or drunk Mel Gibson will hurt me.
837
01:22:19,840 --> 01:22:21,720
Not!
838
01:22:23,400 --> 01:22:25,480
fuck you.
839
01:22:28,880 --> 01:22:31,160
So now you all seen my crib.
840
01:22:31,280 --> 01:22:33,400
So get the hell out
Oh!58052
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