Original subtitles

Nothing's gonna hurt me anymore.

Oh, that's too bad, Jerry.

- Oh, did it hurt too much? - Oh, no, no.

- Just the one hand? - Yes, just the one hand.

- Aww. - Well, I'll be going.

I always like to leave people laughing.

You're sure there's nothing I can get you for it?

No, no, I'm a stout fellow. I'll carry on.

Ohh.

- Hey, where's Mr. Smith, huh? - Out with Aunt Patsy.

Oh.

Uh, Lucy, tell me something before I go, will you?

- What do you see in this fella? - Oh, none of your business.

No, no, no, not that I care, but, uh,

what kind of a mind could he have that would impress you, huh?

You might be surprised. You could take a few lessons and profit nicely.

You'd be surprised what I'd give to get an earful of that.

- Oh-ho. - You would.

I couldn't wait to see you, Lucy. I had to tell you how awful I feel about what happened.

- Oh, don't worry now. That's so silly. - Well, you'll have to forgive Ma.

- She's kind of old-fashioned. - Of course I forgive your mother. She's a doll.

- You won't hold it against her? - No, I won't hold it against her.

You run along and get dressed for dinner. We're going to be awfully late.

I'm a lot quicker than you are.

Just to prove that you're not mad, will you give me a little kiss?

Oh, Dan, right out here in the hall and everything? Don't be so silly.

- There's nobody around. - You never can tell when there's sonาeone around.

- Then I'll come in. - Oh, no, Dan.

I wouldn't come in if I were you. We're going to be awfully late.

Don't be bashful, Lucy.

Well, I'm not bashful, but I've never kissed you before,

and I don't think this is exactly the place.

Gosh, if you knew how crazy I am about you, you wouldn't hesitate.

- I can't sleep nights. - Why don't you take some hot milk?

I guess I must be in love, 'cause I started writing poetry to you.

Poe... Oh, dear. Well.

I was going to surprise you with it at dinner, but it's short.

It goes like this:

"To you, my little prairie flower, I'm thinking of you every hour.

Though now you're just a friend to me, I wonder what the end will be."

Oh, excuse me, Dan.

I do laugh at the oddest times. I never can tell...

You see what I mean?

Well...

"Oh, you would make my life divine if you would change your name to mine."

Well, that's really... That's beautiful, Dan. It's really beautiful.

Oh, there's my phone.

You've got to go now, Dan, really.

Hello?

You haven't forgotten about tomorrow?

Well, look, um, I have company.

Oh, well, wait a minute. Just hold the phone.

Um...

There. Now go on, Dan. I'll see you later. Go on, Dan.

Oh-ho-ho-ho-ho, Lucy!

You've made me the happiest man in the world.

Dreamed of this moment for days. Now it's all come true.

Oh, Dan. Really.

Oh, Dan, really!

I'll go home now and dress for dinner.

I'm so... I'm so happy, I could eat three steaks!

Oh.

Hello?

Telephone?

- Hello. - Can I expect you tomorrow?

At three o'clock tomorrow afternoon.

Yes, I think that would be convenient.

Very well then. Three o'clock tomorrow afternoon. Good-bye.

- Who was that? - Why should it interest you?

Well, it's... Say, wait a minute. After all, the final decree isn't in yet.

Well, if you must know, it was my masseuse.

My who?

Oh, I've heard everything.

I'm going out to get some popcorn and pink lemonade.

I've just seen a three-ring circus.

Armand Duvalle in?

- Please, your name? - Jerry Warriner. Is my wife here?

Please, I do not know.

What do you mean, you don't know?

Please, I only know I don't know.

- Yeah, you wouldn't mind if I looked around? - Me jujitsu.

- Me jujitsu, eh? - Is that so?

Me jujitsu too.

Oh. You must not go inside. You must not disturb him.

Oh, I can't go in? He must not be disturbed? Let go of it.

♪ Ha-ha-ha-ha ♪

Ah, you should have seen your master this afternoon.

Come on, sit up, boy. Come on, sit up.

Up, up, up.

No, better still, I'll tell you...

Go hide your eyes, and I'll give it to you that way.

Go on, hide your eyes.

Five, ten, 15, 20, 25. Oh, no, now, no peeking.

Five, ten, 15, 20, 25, 30, 35.

You ready? All right then. Come on, come on.

Aw, you're too smart.

Oh, honestly, Patty, you should have seen Jerry this afternoon.

And when that chair started to slip from under him...

I will say that for Jerry. He's never dull.

Oh, he was so silly though.

I know he thought he'd find me in Arnาand's arnาs.

He must have been terribly disappointed.

He must have felt awful about not finding you two in a clinch.

Jerry's always had the most fantastic way of getting into scrapes.

Oh, we've had some grand laughs together.

Mmm, but a girl really wants dependability and security.

Yes, I suppose she does.

She ought to buy an annuity. Be more fun than leasing.

- Patty... - Don't explain. I'm not marrying him.

Patty, that's just what I want to tell you. I'm not either.

I can't marry him because I'm still in love with that crazy lunatic,

and there's nothing I can do about it.

But, Patty, uh, here and there, now and then,

- I've done a few things for you, haven't I? - Yes.

Well, here's a note that I've written to Dan, explaining exactly why I can't marry him.

I could never phrase anything in person as beautifully as I have in this note.

But now I've kind of lost my nerve about giving it to him.

Do you think you could sort of see that he gets it?

- I should say so. - Well, I tried to forget Jerry.

I know. That's why you jumped at Leeson as though he were the last man on earth.

I'll answer that.

Well, every time I open the door, somebody walks in.

- How do you do? - How do you do?

- Oh, hello, Armand. - You sent for me, madame?

Yes, I've been so embarrassed about what happened in front of your guests this afternoon,

why, I couldn't get out of the place soon enough.

Your husband is a very funny man, isn't he?

Well, I'm convinced he must care about me, or he wouldn't do the funny things he does.

Yes, but he doesn't care much about me.

No. No, no. Armand, that's just what I'm getting at.

Look, I-I'm wondering, could you do me a favor?

Oh, but of course.

Well, I've been thinking, uh, uh...

I wonder if you could convince him

that everything was just as I said it was that night at the inn.

- You know, the night. - Oh, I'll be glad to.

But, uh, does... does he carry a gun?

- Oh, you're not afraid of him? - Oh, of course not.

- But, you know... - Can you do it for me, as soon as possible?

Yes.

And by all means, he mustn't know that I had anything to do with it.

- Ah, no, no, no, no. - As soon as possible tonight?

Yes.

Oh, Mr. Smith! How are you, fella?

Oh, oh, oh, but this is much too soon.

- Oh, isn't it? - Oh, yes, much.

- Look, do something. - What can I do?

Oh, here, you can't go on standing right here.

- I know, but where can I go? - Look out here.

- Oh, no, no. Not that. - In the guest room. Hurry up.

Open up!

- Hiya, fella! - Hello, Jerry.

- Hello, Patsy. How ya been? - Oh, fine.

Gosh, Smitty. You knew it was me, didn't you?

Sure you did, fella.

Yes, sir. Yes, sir.

Yeah. Yes.

Sure, you remembered me, didn't you? Yeah, sure, you bet.

Go on. Get away, get away, get away.

Hello, Jerry.

Hello, Lucy. I suppose you know why I dropped in.

Oh, no, I don't, exactly.

Well, as a matter of fact, I came to apologize for my behavior

the day in Duvalle's apartment, or studio, whatever he calls his joint.

Oh, that.

I certainly acted like a prize lunatic, and I'm sorry.

- It was nothing, nothing at all. - Nothing?

Nothing except the most ridiculous and sickening exhibition

mortal man ever made of himself.

Oh, I don't know why I act like that.

Unless it's because the effect that Duvalle fellow has upon me.

I never knew anyone that can aggravate me the way he does.

I can't think about him without seeing red.

Oh, you shouldn't get so excited.

The mere mention of his name, and I feel positively murderous.

Oh, you do?

What's the matter with you?

Oh, it's nothing. I was just thinking about your problem.

You certainly have a problem.

Yes, I know I have a problem, and I know how I feel too.

I guess there's nothing I can do about it.

Hey, look at Mr. Smith.

I guess he wants to play.

Yes.

Here, you go and hide it for him.

No fair peeking, Smitty.

- All right, fella, we're all set. Let's go. - Come on, Schmitty.

Oh, no, no, no, no. You're cold. You're colder than ice.

- Cold, cold. - Oh, boy, what's the matter with you?

Ah, nice going, fellow. Let go, let go. Yes. Good boy.

Well, Lucy...

The main idea is, do you accept my apology?

Aside from making a blue ribbon sap of myself today,

I must have embarrassed you beyond words.

- You took it fine though. - Well, you must admit you were a bit frantic.

What was that?

Uh, nothing. Just an old mirror.

He's getting worse every day. He's the biggest roughneck.

That's a fine thing. I'm surprised at you. Trying to get rid of me, huh?

No, he wasn't trying to get rid of you. You know it.

Well, I really hadn't planned to leave so soon, Lucy.

You see, as a matter of fact, I thought if you had nothing to do,

you might like to go for a drive with me.

Well, the air will do you good, and we could talk things over, huh?

Oh, I'd love that. Yes, it would do me good.

- Swell. - Where's your car?

Downstairs in the garage.

Well, I'll tell you, while I'm changing,

you get the car, and I'll meet you out in front.

- Okay, dear. - I won't be a minute.

Funny thing.

Well, that's funny. I only bought the hat an hour ago, and look at it.

Did you have a haircut maybe?

Hmm? No.

No? Well, maybe you have it on backwards. Put it on the other way around.

Yeah, well, I hadn't thought of that. Wait a nาinute.

Yes. There. Now, that's more becoming.

Well, it is a little roomy, but maybe they're wearing them that way this year.

Well, I'm not.

- Looks mighty funny to me. - Oh, but look at your ears. That's why.

- Your ears are all down. - What do you think's wrong with it?

Well, stick your ears up underneath.

Don't be silly. How can you stick your ears up? Hats don't fit like that. Wait a minute.

Well, I always put my...

Oh. Who's there?

Me and my ma.

Oh, look, look, Lucy. I've caused you enough trouble for one day.

He'd better not find me here. I'll duck in the other room.

- Oh, no, no, no, no. - That's all right.

But, uh...

- Let me know when he goes. - But you...

Oh.

- Hello there. - Hello, Aunt Patsy.

- Good evening, Mr. Leeson. - Oh, good evening, Mrs. Leeson.

Why, Lucy, dear, you didn't come over this morning the way you usually do.

- I was so busy this morning. - Well, of course she was.

That's what I kept telling you, Ma.

- Do you mind if I sit down? - No, not at all.

I've got an awful headache.

Well, I'm getting one.

I thought maybe you were angry at my repeating what that awful...

Oh, nonsense, Mrs. Leeson.

- What on earth was that? - Oh, somebody's cleaning up in there.

They're noisy enough about it.

I was... I was worried.

Oh, must they do that?

Yes, we're a little upset here today.

I was afraid, but I knew that in your heart you knew that I never suspected you.

Of course not, Mrs. Leeson.

Why, the first time Dan ever talked about you,

I said, "Why, she sounds like a sweet little soul."

Why, to know Lucy is to love her.

Lucy, I've got a surprise for you.

Ma and I have talked it all over.

I hope you're going to like Oklahoma because I'm going to ask you...

Excuse me.

They forgot to touch second.

Come on, Dan.

Well, I guess a man's best friend is his mother.

I certainly learned about women from you.

- Here's your diploma. - What?

Come on.

What's the matter with you, Schmitty?

Wh...

Oh. Oh, I see what you mean. Patty, look at this.

Oh, yes, that's Barbara Vance.

- You know who she is, don't you? - Yes, I know who she is.

The madcap heiress. Isn't that what the papers usually call her?

Millions of dollars and no sense.

I wonder what she's doing with Jerry.

Oh, entertaining him, running around town with him,

and, I imagine, falling in love with him.

- That's about all. - Now, you can't tell all that from this picture.

No, I can't. But I can tell it from what I've heard.

And if rumor is true, Barbara Vance is quite a gal,

and Jerry's having a lot of fun.

Come in.

Hello, Jerry.

Well, hello, Lucy. What's the nature of this visit?

Well, I just thought I'd... You know what today is, don't you?

Certainly. Our divorce becomes final today, and tomorrow we'll both be back in circulation.

Right. So I just thought I'd drop up and wish you a lot of luck.

Oh, that's very nice of you. I have some wine on the ice.

- Would you like to join me? - Of course I would.

That was a cute picture of you and Barbara in the morning paper.

Yeah.

I love the caption, "Off with the old love."

Only I thought "Out of the frying pan" might have been better.

Is that so?

Well, I think that Barbara and I will be very happy together.

Oh, yes, I'm sure you'll be very happy.

Only I don't think you'll be as happy as Daniel and I.

Uh... What?

Huh?

- Oh, is that still on? - What do you mean, is that still on?

Well, after that two-men-in-the-bedroom farce,

I sort of imagined that when we left, he left.

Oh, no, no, no. I just explained things to him very simply.

Oh, did you? What did you tell him?

That our cars broke down and we had to spend the night in your apartment

because it was during the taxi strike?

No, I didn't tell him that. I told him the truth.

- And strangely enough, he believed me. - Oh.

Yes, it was very refreshing.

Well, uh, what'll we drink to?

Well, let's drink to our future.

Uh, here's hoping you and Barbara will be very happy.

- Hmm. - Which I doubt very much.

No, let's drink to your happiness with Buffalo Bill.

- Good. - Which doesn't even make sense.

Well, I'll tell you, we'll drink to the two of us.

Good.

As we go down life's highway,

you going your way,

and I going my way.

- Yes. Well, well. - Okay?

All right.

- It's flat. - Mnาnา.

I'll open another bottle.

Oh, you'll have to hurry it up though because, um, I'm meeting Daniel.

Hmm?

Well.

I think champagne is so fitting to round out our romance.

Mm-hmm.

I remember the first drink we ever had together.

You, in your very best manner, said, um, "It must be champagne."

And then you offered a toast. You renาenาber?

No, I don't.

Well, being a woman, I do.

You said, um...

This'll land you a laugh.

You said, um...

"Lend an ear, I implore you.

This comes from my heart.

I'll always adore you,

till death do us part."

Remember?

Well,

it was pretty swell.

I mean, while it lasted.

But, uh,

all beautiful things must end,

so I guess we may as well call it a day.

If you don't mind, I'll call a car.

Would you call a car for me? Right away, please.

Hello.

- Who's this, may I ask? - Oh.

Oh, look, it's what's-her-name. I only said hello.

Maybe you can pick it up from there.

Did you have to answer my telephone?

Oh, I thought it was the fella downstairs about the car. I'm sorry.

- What am I going to tell her? - Well, tell...

You can think of something. You always could.

Oh. Trouble is, I haven't got time to think of anything.

- Tell her you'll call her back. - Yeah.

- How can I tell her I'll call her back? - Well, then tell her to call you back.

Oh. Hmm.

Hello. Hello, darling.

Well, it took you long enough.

Have you made up your mind who the woman is?

Oh, isn't that funny? I knew you were going to ask me that.

So did I.

Quiet.

Oh. Well, it's really very simple, dear. It's my sister.

Your sister? How are you ever going to get out of that?

Well, that's right. She just got back from Paris.

- Dropped by to see me, you know, and... - Oh, Jerry, you're slipping.

I'd love to meet your sister. Why don't you bring her along tonight?

Oh, no, I don't think she can come over this evening.

- She has a previous engagement. - She wants me to come over?

Well, naturally, she's very anxious to meet you too, dear, but...

Yes, yes. Tell her I'd love to meet her. Tell her to wear boxing gloves.

Well, she said if she possibly could, she'd break her engagement and come over later.

- But I doubt that very strongly. - Yes, I doubt it very much.

Well... Well, dear, I'll do my best to fix it up so the two of you meet very soon.

- Ah, yes. That'd be lovely. - Good-bye.

- That'd be lovely. - Oh, whew.

- I'm in a fine fix. She wants to meet my sister. - Well.

- You're a big help. - Yes, well, you know me. Anything I can do.

Ha-ha. What? To break it up?

- I see what you mean. - I'm in a fine mess.

Yes. Hello. I did it again.

What does she do, call up every five minutes?

Listen, you don't have to take that from anybody.

Put your foot down.

Well, Barbara, I told you she couldn't make it this evening.

She can't get away with things like that.

There's no reason to call me up every five minutes about it, is there?

No. Well, all right.

Well.

Yeah. Ha.

Ah.

Well.

- Good evening, Mr. Warriner. - Good evening.

- Hello, Barbara. - Hello.

- Good evening, Mrs. Vance. - Hello.

- Hello, Mr. Vance. - Jerry.

Where's your sister?

Uh... Oh, well, she was terribly sorry she couldn't be here tonight.

She, uh... She didn't weather the boat trip very well.

As a matter of fact, when I left, she was calling the doctor.

You can imagine my surprise when I heard a woman's voice on the phone.

You can't blame me for being suspicious.

Oh, Barbara. You can't have a happy married life if you're always suspicious.

No, there can't be any doubts in marriage.

Marriage is based on faith, and if you've lost that, you've lost everything.

Very well said, Jerry.

Yes. Yes, wasn't it? I think I read it in a book or something.

I was just thinking. Will your sister be here for the wedding?

Oh, I doubt that very much, Mrs. Vance.

Perhaps I should ask her to be a bridesmaid.

Well, I think she's sailing back to Paris almost immediately.

She said she'd do her best to see you before she goes though.

You'd like my sister. She's very much your type.

- Where did she go to school? - Excuse me?

- I said, where did she go to school? - In Switzerland.

Oh.

And you say your father was a Princeton man?

That's right, sir. Class of '92.

He tells some very funny stories about the place in those days too.

He tells one in particular about a football game.

It seems that Yale was playing Princeton one day,

and, uh, with the ball on Princeton's two-yard line,

Yale fumbled.

A minute to go, Dad picked up the ball and ran...

Miss Lola Warriner.

Oh.

Mmm.

Hello, brother dear. Well, I made it.

What did you say, dear?

- I just asked how you were feeling. - Well, I'm feeling fine. And you?

Oh, uh...

Oh, Mrs. Vance, may I present my sister, Lola.

- How do you do? - How do you do?

- It's lovely to know you. - Thank you.

- Won't you come in? - Thank you.

Oh.

Oh, Barbara, this is Lola.

- How do you do? - How do you do?

Well, it's nice to have a chance to meet you.

I've seen your pictures in the paper, and I wondered what you looked like.

- I wondered about you too. - Well, thank you.

- Lola. - Yes, dear?

This is Barbara's father, Mr. Vance. Mr. Vance, my sister.

- How do you do? - How do you do?

- Well... - What's the matter?

Nothing. Only I never would have known you from his description.

Won't you sit down?

Thank you.

Did I interrupt something? Weren't you talking when I came in for...

- Will you excuse me, Mrs. Vance? My... - Oh.

Thank you. Oh! Look.

It's me. Isn't that silly?

It's you this time, Mrs. Vance.

Look, I'll just put it over here and get it out of the way.

Whoops! Ooh.

Oh, dear, dear.

I guess that could go on and on and on and on.

I hope not.

Go on with your story, honey.

Yes. I was telling a story about my... about our father.

Oh, you were?

Well, I don't want to be rude, but may I have a drink?

Certainly.

I had three or four before I got here, but they're beginning to wear off,

and you know how that is.

Well, don't look at me like that. You like a little drink yourself.

We call him Jerry the Nipper.

Likes to sneak 'em when nobody's looking.

So cute about it too.

I've seen him go along a whole evening and apparently not have a thing to drink,

and all of a sudden, fall flat on his puss.

A glass of sherry perhaps?

Will you get Miss Warriner a glass of sherry?

A glass of sherry?

Excuse me. I don't like sherry.

Oh, uh... Psst.

Will you make that ginger ale, please?

- Ginger ale? - Yes. And, uh...

I'm sorry to interrupt you again, Jerry.

Now, what were you saying?

Oh, I was just telling one of Father's stories.

- You've heard it. - Oh.

You see, there was a minute to go. Dad had the ball, and...

- A ball? What ball? - The football.

What in the world was Dad ever doing with a football?

Look, I was, uh, just telling a story about when Father was at Princeton.

- You remember the time. - Oh, yes, of course.

I remember Pop loved Princeton.

He was there nearly 20 years.

If ever a man loved a place, he did. He just adored it.

And he certainly kept it looking beautiful.

- You've seen the grounds, of course. - Of course.

Oh! Thank you, my friend.

- I'm afraid that my... - Whoopsie-deedle-dee-dah. So sorry.

- Here's a handkerchief. - Thank you.

I'm afraid that my sister has a somewhat distorted sense of humor.

So have I.

What she really meant to say was that Father presented the college

with some of its finest landscapings.

Ahem.

Excuse me. Was I thirsty.

It must have been that ham I had for dinner.

You mind?

I think my brother's pretty swell, don't you?

Oh, yes.

He's always been pretty swell to me.

I was working my head off at the Virginia Club.

But the minute he started doing better...

Um... you know what I mean?

Why he made me give up my job and take a trip to London and Paris.

And I think that was pretty swell, don't you?

What did you do at the Virginia Club?

- Well, I... - Well, you see...

I'll tell her.

It was a little act, kind of, um...

Well, it's a little hard to explain.

- Have you got any records? - Records?

- Oh, yes, yes. We have some records. - Well, maybe if we...

Say, wait a minute.

Don't anybody leave this room. I've lost my purse.

- Why, here it is. - Oh, well. Am I relieved.

- Where are the records? - Oh, come this way, and I'll show you.

Look, will you kind of keep an eye on that for me?

Oh, here's my song.

- Would you like to have me do it for you? - Well, no, I don't think...

Okay.

Oh, look. You'll have to put that on. It's a little fancy for me.

The one we've got at home, you just wind.

I wouldn't do that if I were you.

Oh, well, I'm not going to do it the way I did it at the club,

if that's what you're afraid of.

Think I'm a fool?

Um, the number has some wind effects in it,

but you'll just have to use your own imagination about them.

♪ I used to dream about a cottage small ♪

♪ A cottage small by a waterfall ♪

♪ But I wound up with no home at all ♪

♪ My dreams have gone with the wind ♪ Whoo! Get it?

♪ I'll never forget the way I did my stuff ♪

♪ I did my stuff, but you called my bluff ♪

♪ You called my bluff, and sho' nuff ♪

♪ My dreams have gone with the wind ♪ Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!

♪ Once my love and I ♪

♪ We strolled beneath the sky ♪

♪ Hand in hand together ♪

♪ But now I'm all alone ♪

♪ And when romance has flown ♪

♪ There's bound to be stormy weather ♪

♪ I found the pathway To be paved with gold ♪

♪ I cast my dreams ♪ I never could do that.

♪ But now I know I'm out in the cold ♪ Whoo-whoo-whoo-whoo!

♪ My dreams have gone with the wind ♪ Whoo!

Oh, are we going so soon?

I think I'm tired myself.

Oh, good night. Good night, all.

- Where do you think you're going? - I'm going to Patty's cabin.

You're not in any condition to drive.

Oh, I can make it in two minutes on two wheels.

- You don't know. - That's what you think. Get over.

- This is my car. I want to drive my car. - Get over. Over.

- Oh, no. I wish you'd stayed in there. - That's right.

Okay.

Hey, would you mind shutting that thing off, or at least turning it down?

Give it to me.

Ah!

That's right. Put it where we can find it.

Well, I...

Here, here. You can't do that.

- What? - Shut that thing off.

I'm trying to.

It's strictly against the law to decide to wake everybody up.

- What? - He says you'll be waking...

He's a little deaf. You'll have to... You have to speak... Oh, dear.

- Why don't you help me? - Help you? Help him.

Ah, it's beautiful up here. Don't you think so?

Ah, sure, it's swell. Just think of it.

If it hadn't been for you, I'd have missed all this.

That's right.

Well, I suppose by the time I get back to town, it'll hardly be worthwhile going to bed.

Do you mind if I borrow your car to go home in?

No, I don't mind. Only I think it's awfully silly.

- Patty will be disappointed. - Well, thanks. I'll go home.

Oh, well, it's all right with me. My goodness. I just thought...

Yes, you just thought that if I'd stay up there,

you'd show me exactly how innocent a night in the country could be, didn't you?

Oh, of all the... What?

Are you still harping on that same old string?

Oh, well, it's a matter of complete indifference to me whether you go or stay.

I was just trying to make it easier for you, that's all.

Did you have to throw that gadget away?

You want me to go back and look for it?

What else can happen to us?

A lot.

- What's that? - Two motorcycles.

- Anybody riding them? - Two men.

- They in uniform? - Yes!

Oh!

Fine.

- Turn down that radio! - I can't!

What do you mean, you can't?

Oh, you lost the control? Well, you can't let it run that way!

- Let me take a look at it. - Wait a minute. I'll get out of your way.

See what you can do!

- Must be a short in the wiring. - Let's take a look at it.

Don't!

That's always good.

Say, do you know you can get a ticket for that?

- Is this your car? - Nope.

- Whose car is it? - I'll give you one more guess.

Oh, so it's yours. Where's your ownership card?

In the upper right-hand drawer of my bureau.

- Are you sure this is your car? - Well, of course I'm sure it's my c...

Well, if it's your car, you ought to know your own license number.

- What number is it? - Well, I don't know.

They change it on me every year.

Don't look now, but what's the number on your motorcycle?

Aha! You see?

- Say, have you folks been drinking? - No, I haven't, but, uh...

- Let me see you walk this line. - Come on.

Go on, honey. Trot good.

- Now what have you done? - Aw, the brakes are bad.

It's a bad break for us too. Now we haven't any transportation.

Could you two gentlemen give us a lift up to my aunt's cabin?

It's only about 15 miles. That is, if you haven't anything else to do.

No, I haven't anything else to do. Have you?

- Oh, no. - Oh, well, that's fine.

Where are you going to sit?

Well, I'll have to figure that one out, I guess.

Fun? Fun?

Whee!

Whee!

Whee!

Come on, try it. Come on. It's fun.

Now, listen, you two. Don't say a word to this guy.

Who are these people?

Why, that's Mrs. Warriner and that's Mr. Warriner.

Ah. How do you do?

How do you do?

- Hello. - Well, I guess that settles it, doesn't it?

You'll see about getting my car out in the morning, won't you?

Yes, ma'am.

And in the meantime, both of you think of something you'd like to have for Christmas.

Good-bye.

- I hope you have a nice trip back. - Thank you.

Hi, Dad.

Well, Dad.

- Everything all right with you? - Oh, I'm feeling fine.

That's good.

But I wasn't expecting nobody tonight.

- Isn't Aunt Patty here? - Why, no.

She isn't he...

- I thought sure she was here. - I didn't.

Well, isn't that funny?

Well, let me get you some coffee.

Oh, no, no. I don't think so, Dad. It might keep me awake.

I'm going right to bed. I'm awfully tired.

See? She's all in.

- Oh, Dad. Is this room in order? - Yes.

Well, that's fine. Mr. Warriner's going to sleep in there.

And give him a couple of nice, warm blankets.

- He has a bad cold. - Is that right?

Oh, yeah, I've had a bad cold now for some considerable time.

Oh, that's too bad.

- About three months. - Hmm.

- How are you doing in there? - Well, I'm having a little wardrobe trouble.

Huh. You should see me. I'm glad you told him I had a cold.

He fixed me up good.

Well, my nightie's coming to me through the courtesy of Aunt Patty.

Scoot. Go on, get off of there. Go. Scoot.

Oh, my.

Air conditioned.

- What's wrong with this? - I don't know.

The, uh... The lock isn't very practical, is it?

No, it's not so very practical, but...

I guess it'll serve its purpose.

Hmm.

Well, uh, good night.

Good night.

- I... - Oh.

Oh.

I... I'm afraid we're going to have trouble with this.

I guess I'll be all right.

Well, good night.

Good night.

Good night.

I told you we'd have trouble with this.

Yes.

In a half an hour, we'll no longer be mister and missus.

Funny, isn't it?

Yes, it's funny that everything's the way it is on account of the way you feel.

Huh?

Well, I mean, if you didn't feel the way you do,

things wouldn't be the way they are, would they?

I mean, things could be the same, if things were different.

- But, um, things are the way you made them. - Oh, no.

No, things are the way you think I made them.

I didn't make them that way at all.

Things are just the same as they always were,

only you're the same as you were too,

so I guess things will never be the same again.

Ah.

Good night.

Good night.

- Got caught in the door. - Good night.

Good night.

Why, you...

Oh.

I was trying to stop it.

Well, there it goes again.

You're all confused, aren't you?

- Mmm. Aren't you? - No.

Well, you should be because you're wrong about things being different

because they're not the same.

Things are different, except in a different way.

You're still the same, only I've been a fool.

- But I'm not now. - Ah.

So long as I'm different, don't you think that,

well, maybe things could be the same again,

only a little different, huh?

You mean that, Jerry?

- You sure? - Mm-hmm.

No more doubts?

No more being...

- Except, uh... - Except what?

Well, there's only one thing that bothers me.

What?

This darn lock.

Oh.

- Is that all? - Hmm?

Oh.

Oh, well...

Y-You think maybe if you, uh...

Huh?

Good night.