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1
00:00:03,871 --> 00:00:06,572
Can you tell me what this is?
2
00:00:06,574 --> 00:00:08,907
Uh... fun meal?
3
00:00:08,909 --> 00:00:11,977
Do I look like I'm having fun?
4
00:00:11,979 --> 00:00:14,146
Uh... no.
5
00:00:14,148 --> 00:00:16,465
Exactly.
6
00:00:16,466 --> 00:00:18,783
Every fun meal is supposed
to come with a toy.
7
00:00:18,786 --> 00:00:21,854
Do you see a toy in this box?
8
00:00:21,856 --> 00:00:24,923
Uh... but you're like a
grown-up.
9
00:00:24,925 --> 00:00:27,559
Have you ever heard of ageism?
10
00:00:27,561 --> 00:00:29,094
Uh...
11
00:00:29,096 --> 00:00:30,596
It's okay, son.
12
00:00:30,598 --> 00:00:33,165
We're going to get
through this together.
13
00:00:33,167 --> 00:00:34,767
It's my first day.
14
00:00:34,769 --> 00:00:35,667
(hortence o.s.)
That's no excuse for
15
00:00:35,669 --> 00:00:41,740
poor customer service.
16
00:00:41,742 --> 00:00:43,208
Hortence?
17
00:00:43,209 --> 00:00:44,675
It's the regional manager!
18
00:00:44,678 --> 00:00:47,546
Oh, man... Am I, like, fired?
19
00:00:47,548 --> 00:00:49,481
No, but you're going
back to Trainee Status
20
00:00:49,483 --> 00:00:52,217
until you can enter
peoples' orders properly.
21
00:00:52,219 --> 00:00:54,253
How are you?
22
00:00:54,255 --> 00:00:57,122
Uh, pretty good.
For me.
23
00:00:57,124 --> 00:01:00,025
I mean, we're grading
on a curve, right?
24
00:01:00,027 --> 00:01:01,293
You're funny.
25
00:01:01,295 --> 00:01:02,561
I came here to find you.
26
00:01:02,563 --> 00:01:03,862
I have some news.
27
00:01:03,864 --> 00:01:07,466
I knew you'd move back once
the dollar theater started
28
00:01:07,468 --> 00:01:11,703
"Half price Tuesdays." I happen
to be free this Tuesday...
29
00:01:11,705 --> 00:01:17,209
I'm not moving back, Dan.
I'm getting married.
30
00:01:20,381 --> 00:01:21,947
What?!
31
00:01:21,949 --> 00:01:24,550
Jeremiah Burger and
I are in love.
32
00:01:24,552 --> 00:01:27,953
I'm going to be
his Burger Queen.
33
00:01:27,955 --> 00:01:30,022
Jeremiah Burger?
34
00:01:30,024 --> 00:01:32,491
What does he have
that I don't have?
35
00:01:32,493 --> 00:01:38,063
Besides a job. Millions of
dollars. More than one shirt.
36
00:01:38,065 --> 00:01:39,765
The wedding's in Santa Monica,
37
00:01:39,767 --> 00:01:41,633
so I understand if you can't
make it.
38
00:01:41,635 --> 00:01:46,638
But I wanted to invite you
anyway.
39
00:01:46,640 --> 00:01:48,006
You know, if it wasn't for you,
40
00:01:48,008 --> 00:01:53,946
I never would have
met Jeremiah.
41
00:01:53,948 --> 00:01:58,684
See you around, Dan.
42
00:01:58,686 --> 00:02:04,456
Uh, so... you want another
cheeseburger, or... what?
43
00:02:04,458 --> 00:02:09,061
I'm not hungry.
Hortence, wait!
44
00:02:13,901 --> 00:02:18,203
WEDDING!!!
45
00:02:29,416 --> 00:02:30,516
Pack your things, Chris.
46
00:02:30,518 --> 00:02:32,551
We've got a wedding to destroy.
47
00:02:32,553 --> 00:02:34,520
I'm not up for destroying a
wedding.
48
00:02:34,522 --> 00:02:35,854
How about bowling?
49
00:02:35,856 --> 00:02:38,257
Dan, we all know you're
acting this way
50
00:02:38,259 --> 00:02:40,659
because you still have
feelings for Hortence.
51
00:02:40,661 --> 00:02:42,261
Ridiculous!
52
00:02:42,263 --> 00:02:43,862
You know we're here for you if
53
00:02:43,864 --> 00:02:46,198
you want to talk
about anything.
54
00:02:46,200 --> 00:02:50,435
Oh, sure, that
sounds fantastic!
55
00:02:50,437 --> 00:02:52,171
Let's make a day of it!
56
00:02:52,173 --> 00:02:55,274
We'll get pedicures in the
morning, hit a matinee of
57
00:02:55,276 --> 00:02:57,042
"Three Chicks Crying,"
58
00:02:57,044 --> 00:03:02,614
and then we can talk about our
stupid feelings over brunch!
59
00:03:02,616 --> 00:03:06,285
Dan, don't try to tell us you're
not in love with Hortence.
60
00:03:06,287 --> 00:03:08,287
I barely know her, Elise.
61
00:03:08,289 --> 00:03:11,757
We spent a few hours chained
together during my Burgerphile
62
00:03:11,759 --> 00:03:15,494
protest, and, sure,
I thought we connected...
63
00:03:15,496 --> 00:03:17,095
she's an amazing girl.
64
00:03:17,097 --> 00:03:20,365
Friendly, kind,always
put a ketchup
65
00:03:20,367 --> 00:03:24,102
smiley face on my
burger... But love?
66
00:03:24,104 --> 00:03:25,637
Don't make me throw up.
67
00:03:25,639 --> 00:03:27,940
Then why do you want
to wreck her wedding?
68
00:03:27,942 --> 00:03:32,611
Because... Uh,
because...
69
00:03:32,613 --> 00:03:35,347
Because she's making
a huge mistake!
70
00:03:35,349 --> 00:03:38,050
We all know marriage
is a scam, right?
71
00:03:38,052 --> 00:03:41,587
So you told us during your"Best
Man"speech at our wedding.
72
00:03:41,589 --> 00:03:44,890
People can live for years
on what an average wedding
73
00:03:44,892 --> 00:03:46,124
costs these days!
74
00:03:46,126 --> 00:03:49,828
It's a waste of money,an
inconvenience to family
75
00:03:49,830 --> 00:03:50,862
and friends...
76
00:03:50,864 --> 00:03:52,497
Dan...
77
00:03:52,498 --> 00:03:54,131
Half of all marriages
end up in divorce,
78
00:03:54,134 --> 00:03:56,034
and the other half in death!
79
00:03:56,036 --> 00:03:58,237
There's no upside!
80
00:03:58,239 --> 00:04:01,673
This day is going to be a
very big deal to Hortence.
81
00:04:01,675 --> 00:04:04,843
If you care about her at all,
you'll go to the wedding
82
00:04:04,845 --> 00:04:08,480
with a nice gift and
say "congratulations."
83
00:04:08,482 --> 00:04:13,151
You're probably right, Elise.
Thanks for talking me down.
84
00:04:13,153 --> 00:04:15,520
Chris, get your suit.
You're my plus-one.
85
00:04:15,522 --> 00:04:17,022
We leave in five minutes.
86
00:04:17,024 --> 00:04:18,991
But the wedding's not
until Saturday.
87
00:04:18,993 --> 00:04:21,410
I know that!
88
00:04:21,411 --> 00:04:23,828
We have a gift to buy, I need
to have my suit pressed...
89
00:04:23,831 --> 00:04:25,397
You have a suit?
90
00:04:25,399 --> 00:04:28,900
That reminds me.
You need to buy me a suit.
91
00:04:30,037 --> 00:04:32,504
There's something
magical about weddings.
92
00:04:32,506 --> 00:04:34,906
They serve dessert
and cake...
93
00:04:34,908 --> 00:04:36,508
We're not going to the wedding.
94
00:04:36,510 --> 00:04:38,910
We are going to destroy it
before it ever happens.
95
00:04:38,912 --> 00:04:41,246
I was hoping that you had
actually listened to Elise.
96
00:04:41,248 --> 00:04:44,349
I listened.
She was spouting nonsense!
97
00:04:44,351 --> 00:04:46,518
Moving on, here's the plan.
98
00:04:46,520 --> 00:04:48,987
We find Hortence
and kidnap her.
99
00:04:48,989 --> 00:04:50,022
Not happening.
100
00:04:50,024 --> 00:04:51,623
Just until she comes
to her senses
101
00:04:51,625 --> 00:04:53,625
about this whole wedding thing!
102
00:04:53,627 --> 00:04:56,261
Then, we release her
into the wild.
103
00:04:56,263 --> 00:04:58,463
I've done a lot of things I'm
not proud of.
104
00:04:58,465 --> 00:05:00,399
All thanks to you.
But I'm not going to
105
00:05:00,401 --> 00:05:03,068
kidnap a bride two days
before her wedding.
106
00:05:03,070 --> 00:05:08,106
It'll be fun, first we get some
shackles, a couple of masks,
107
00:05:08,108 --> 00:05:10,442
a feather duster,
some rubber hose,
108
00:05:10,444 --> 00:05:12,544
ten gallons of non-dairy
dessert topping--
109
00:05:12,546 --> 00:05:14,480
Nope.
110
00:05:14,481 --> 00:05:16,415
Adult diapers, some
non-stick-- Hey!
111
00:05:16,417 --> 00:05:18,016
You haven't even
heard the best part!
112
00:05:18,018 --> 00:05:21,019
I don't need to. And why
would you need-- never mind.
113
00:05:21,021 --> 00:05:23,488
Just forget it.
114
00:05:23,489 --> 00:05:25,956
Fine. Plan B: We find her
and I talk to her about the
115
00:05:25,959 --> 00:05:28,093
ridiculous decision
she's making.
116
00:05:28,095 --> 00:05:29,594
That we can do.
117
00:05:34,301 --> 00:05:35,734
How do you know
this is the place?
118
00:05:35,736 --> 00:05:38,537
I called every bridal shop
in town and pretended
119
00:05:38,539 --> 00:05:40,372
to be Jeremiah Burger.
120
00:05:40,374 --> 00:05:41,973
You ever think if you
applied yourself
121
00:05:41,975 --> 00:05:44,042
to more constructive
pursuits, you'd-ow!
122
00:05:44,044 --> 00:05:45,510
Construct that.
123
00:05:45,512 --> 00:05:48,513
There are other ways to
express yourself- ow!
124
00:05:48,515 --> 00:05:51,850
If it aint broke...
There she is! Get down!
125
00:05:54,488 --> 00:05:55,821
She's upset.
126
00:05:55,823 --> 00:05:59,224
She's probably realized what
a terrible idea marriage is,
127
00:05:59,226 --> 00:06:00,859
but doesn't know how to get out
of it.
128
00:06:00,861 --> 00:06:02,361
She doesn't seem happy.
129
00:06:02,363 --> 00:06:07,599
I'm always right!
How do I look?
130
00:06:07,601 --> 00:06:09,067
Like you always do.
131
00:06:09,069 --> 00:06:11,737
Sweet! I'm going in.
132
00:06:17,044 --> 00:06:19,411
Dan? What are you doing here?
133
00:06:19,413 --> 00:06:22,114
Oh, I was just in
the neighborhood.
134
00:06:22,116 --> 00:06:26,184
I'm shopping for...
cummerbunds.
135
00:06:26,186 --> 00:06:30,956
Yes. That's plausible.
Are you okay?
136
00:06:30,958 --> 00:06:32,391
No, I'm not.
137
00:06:32,393 --> 00:06:35,293
My sister just went into
labor in Minneapolis,
138
00:06:35,295 --> 00:06:38,964
and she won't be able to
make it to the wedding.
139
00:06:38,966 --> 00:06:41,433
Oh, that's too bad.
140
00:06:41,435 --> 00:06:43,635
You should probably
just call it off.
141
00:06:43,637 --> 00:06:46,271
I can't do that.
142
00:06:46,273 --> 00:06:49,474
Sure you can!
Just tell everyone the wedding
143
00:06:49,476 --> 00:06:52,911
is cancelled until your sister
can learn to control herself.
144
00:06:52,913 --> 00:06:54,579
No, I'm getting married.
145
00:06:54,581 --> 00:06:56,848
It's just that I'm going to
be short a bridesmaid,
146
00:06:56,850 --> 00:07:02,921
the wedding party won't match...
It was supposed to be...
147
00:07:02,923 --> 00:07:06,825
Uh, hey... There, there.
148
00:07:06,827 --> 00:07:08,960
I'm sure you'll figure
something out.
149
00:07:08,962 --> 00:07:10,429
Like what?
150
00:07:10,431 --> 00:07:13,331
Uh...
151
00:07:19,206 --> 00:07:22,174
How did it go?
152
00:07:22,176 --> 00:07:24,193
What was that?
153
00:07:24,194 --> 00:07:26,211
I said, "I'm a bridesmaid,"
okay?
154
00:07:26,213 --> 00:07:28,547
What? How did you--?
155
00:07:28,549 --> 00:07:29,781
Don't laugh!
156
00:07:29,783 --> 00:07:32,317
Sorry, sorry.
157
00:07:32,319 --> 00:07:35,287
I'm sure you'll be adorable in
your little bridesmaid's dress.
158
00:07:35,289 --> 00:07:38,890
I'm not wearing a
dress, jerkface!
159
00:07:38,892 --> 00:07:41,760
I'm wearing a lime-green
tuxedo.
160
00:07:41,762 --> 00:07:43,128
Lime-green?
161
00:07:43,129 --> 00:07:44,495
Aren't you worried you'll
look like a leprechaun?
162
00:07:44,498 --> 00:07:49,601
"Ooh, I'm Dan!
Stay away from me pot o' gold!"
163
00:07:49,603 --> 00:07:51,520
Are you done?
164
00:07:51,521 --> 00:07:53,438
I thought you wanted to stop
the wedding, not be in it.
165
00:07:53,440 --> 00:07:55,540
Oh, I'm still going to
destroy the wedding.
166
00:07:55,542 --> 00:07:59,644
But I'm going to do
it... from the inside!
167
00:08:09,256 --> 00:08:10,856
Did Dan ruin the wedding?
168
00:08:10,858 --> 00:08:13,658
Nope. In fact, he's a
bridesmaid.
169
00:08:13,660 --> 00:08:15,727
He is?
170
00:08:15,729 --> 00:08:18,463
Yeah. Which means that, since
he's in the wedding party now,
171
00:08:18,465 --> 00:08:21,066
I can bring a guest.
Want to be my plus one?
172
00:08:21,068 --> 00:08:24,803
To watch Dan wreak havoc on some
poor girl's special day?
173
00:08:24,805 --> 00:08:27,239
Not my thing.
174
00:08:27,240 --> 00:08:29,674
You could keep me company. Plus,
I'll look dashing in my suit...
175
00:08:29,676 --> 00:08:31,643
Eh, I don't know...
176
00:08:31,645 --> 00:08:32,777
And you can see how excited
177
00:08:32,779 --> 00:08:34,346
the bride is when she opens our
gift.
178
00:08:34,348 --> 00:08:37,849
People don't actually open the
gifts AT the wedding, Chris.
179
00:08:37,851 --> 00:08:40,085
I mean, YOU did, but I think
you're the only one.
180
00:08:40,087 --> 00:08:42,120
Well, anyway, I got them
something really cool.
181
00:08:42,122 --> 00:08:43,488
Check it out!
182
00:08:43,490 --> 00:08:44,489
Oh no.
183
00:08:44,491 --> 00:08:52,063
Oh yes! Megasaurian!
Raaarh! Raarh!
184
00:08:52,933 --> 00:08:54,199
What?
185
00:08:54,200 --> 00:08:55,466
Okay, I'll come to
the wedding.
186
00:08:55,469 --> 00:08:57,602
On the condition that we
get a gift that doesn't
187
00:08:57,604 --> 00:08:59,271
come with its
own comic book.
188
00:08:59,273 --> 00:09:00,472
One question: Would I-
189
00:09:00,474 --> 00:09:02,207
Yes, you can keep
Megasaurian.
190
00:09:02,209 --> 00:09:06,344
Done! Raaarh! Raarh!
191
00:09:09,383 --> 00:09:12,551
This is the best bridal shower
ever, you guys.
192
00:09:12,553 --> 00:09:15,687
You are going to make
such a beautiful bride.
193
00:09:15,689 --> 00:09:18,290
I love the china pattern
you picked out.
194
00:09:18,292 --> 00:09:20,759
Don't you, Dan?
195
00:09:20,761 --> 00:09:23,728
Huh? Oh, sure.
China pattern.
196
00:09:23,730 --> 00:09:25,730
Hortence, have you
really thought about
197
00:09:25,732 --> 00:09:27,165
what you're doing?
198
00:09:27,167 --> 00:09:29,267
Uh, like, of course.
199
00:09:29,269 --> 00:09:32,671
I mean, there's such a big age
difference between you two.
200
00:09:32,673 --> 00:09:36,374
Have you read the statistics
about these things working out?
201
00:09:36,376 --> 00:09:38,360
Dan!
202
00:09:38,361 --> 00:09:40,345
Or the statistical probability
that someone who eats burgers
203
00:09:40,347 --> 00:09:43,715
for every meal is going
to make it past fifty?
204
00:09:43,717 --> 00:09:46,351
Jeremiah's as healthy
as a horse.
205
00:09:46,353 --> 00:09:49,654
And why is he marrying someone
so much younger, anyway?
206
00:09:49,656 --> 00:09:51,523
I think he's hiding something.
207
00:09:51,525 --> 00:09:53,024
Maybe you should call
off the wedding
208
00:09:53,026 --> 00:09:55,260
until you figure
out what it is.
209
00:09:55,262 --> 00:09:57,028
Just sayin'.
210
00:09:57,030 --> 00:10:03,368
Oh, he's doing a
"roast!" How funny!
211
00:10:03,370 --> 00:10:07,205
Oh! Okay. For a second there,
I thought you were being
212
00:10:07,207 --> 00:10:09,274
really mean for no reason.
213
00:10:09,276 --> 00:10:10,475
I was just pointing
out--
214
00:10:10,477 --> 00:10:12,077
You know what we should do?
215
00:10:12,079 --> 00:10:14,212
Give Dan a makeover!
216
00:10:14,214 --> 00:10:15,847
What? No.
217
00:10:15,849 --> 00:10:17,015
Yes!
218
00:10:17,017 --> 00:10:18,483
Too much fun!
219
00:10:18,485 --> 00:10:20,051
No! I don't want a makeover!
220
00:10:25,158 --> 00:10:26,157
Uh...
221
00:10:26,159 --> 00:10:28,927
You laugh, I attack.
222
00:10:28,929 --> 00:10:32,397
So... How was the
bridal shower?
223
00:10:32,399 --> 00:10:33,498
Aarrhh!
224
00:10:33,500 --> 00:10:35,266
Stop it!
225
00:10:35,268 --> 00:10:37,769
You're getting your
makeup on me!
226
00:10:37,771 --> 00:10:42,107
It's not my makeup!
This was done against my will!
227
00:10:42,109 --> 00:10:43,341
It's a good look for you.
228
00:10:43,343 --> 00:10:45,110
Not one more word.
229
00:10:45,112 --> 00:10:49,047
They rouged me, Chris.
I have been rouged!
230
00:10:49,049 --> 00:10:51,383
This is war.
231
00:10:51,385 --> 00:10:54,119
And hey, you've already
got your war paint.
232
00:10:56,456 --> 00:11:00,091
Excuse me, I'm looking for a way
to discredit and/or embarrass
233
00:11:00,093 --> 00:11:04,295
Jeremiah Burger, president
and CEO of Jeremiah Burger
234
00:11:04,297 --> 00:11:07,766
Foods Limited. Do you have
anything that could help?
235
00:11:07,768 --> 00:11:12,303
Once again, this is silly.
What are the odds that-
236
00:11:12,305 --> 00:11:18,710
"Who's Who in Beef"? Perfect!
Thank you, my good man.
237
00:11:18,712 --> 00:11:22,013
You can find anything you need
at your local library, Chris.
238
00:11:22,015 --> 00:11:25,450
Now let's get the skinny on that
Burger...
239
00:11:25,452 --> 00:11:28,620
You're not going to find
anything in that--
240
00:11:28,622 --> 00:11:32,090
"Bovine Billionaire's Bevy of
Babes?" Huh.
241
00:11:32,092 --> 00:11:35,694
Libraries, it's great how
they let you borrow stuff.
242
00:11:35,696 --> 00:11:36,461
DAN!
243
00:11:38,799 --> 00:11:42,333
I don't understand why we have
to pick up your stupid wife.
244
00:11:42,335 --> 00:11:44,736
Because Elise needs the
car to go shopping.
245
00:11:44,738 --> 00:11:48,673
Apparently, Megasaurian is not
an appropriate wedding present.
246
00:11:48,675 --> 00:11:52,644
What are you talking about?
Megasaurian is awesome!
247
00:11:52,646 --> 00:11:56,014
That guy's destroyed Tokyo
like 500 times.
248
00:11:56,016 --> 00:11:57,315
That's what I said!
249
00:11:57,317 --> 00:11:59,584
Not that it matters, since
the wedding's going to be
250
00:11:59,586 --> 00:12:01,753
called off anyway.
251
00:12:01,755 --> 00:12:02,787
Dan, get in back.
252
00:12:02,789 --> 00:12:05,023
You're not the boss of me.
253
00:12:05,025 --> 00:12:06,991
Hey! Get off me!
254
00:12:06,993 --> 00:12:11,396
You filthy wh--oa!
255
00:12:11,398 --> 00:12:14,065
I choose to sit here
of my own volition.
256
00:12:14,067 --> 00:12:15,600
Sure, Dan.
257
00:12:15,601 --> 00:12:17,134
So are they registered anywhere
besides Ketchup World?
258
00:12:17,137 --> 00:12:18,837
It might not matter.
259
00:12:18,839 --> 00:12:21,239
Why? Did you guys find something
at the library?
260
00:12:21,241 --> 00:12:25,276
Apparently, Jeremiah Burger has
been married six times before.
261
00:12:25,278 --> 00:12:28,246
Wow. Really?
262
00:12:28,248 --> 00:12:30,081
And Hortence has no idea?
263
00:12:30,083 --> 00:12:32,817
No, but she has to find
out sometime.
264
00:12:32,819 --> 00:12:35,220
Better now than after
she's tied the knot.
265
00:12:35,222 --> 00:12:37,055
Dan one, Wedding zero.
266
00:12:37,057 --> 00:12:39,624
Oh, Dan, you need to be
delicate about this.
267
00:12:39,626 --> 00:12:42,527
Hey, it's me.
268
00:12:46,633 --> 00:12:49,801
I'll be back in a few minutes.
Keep the engine running.
269
00:12:49,803 --> 00:12:52,303
Also, I'm taking Chris
for moral support.
270
00:12:52,305 --> 00:12:54,205
I wasn't invited to
the rehearsal dinner.
271
00:12:54,207 --> 00:12:56,040
Which is why you're
going undercover!
272
00:12:56,042 --> 00:12:58,176
Now come on.
273
00:12:58,178 --> 00:13:00,812
Keep him from making a scene.
274
00:13:04,284 --> 00:13:07,719
Oh yes thank you.
275
00:13:07,721 --> 00:13:09,154
There's no time for that!
276
00:13:09,156 --> 00:13:11,089
There's always time
for shrimp puffs.
277
00:13:11,091 --> 00:13:12,891
I need you to tell
the Best Man there's
278
00:13:12,893 --> 00:13:14,959
a telephone call for him.
279
00:13:17,564 --> 00:13:20,532
Mine. Sir, there's a
phone call for you.
280
00:13:20,534 --> 00:13:24,936
Hurry back, we're all waiting to
hear your Best Man toast.
281
00:13:24,938 --> 00:13:26,571
Get your own!
282
00:13:34,548 --> 00:13:36,114
There's my bridesman!
283
00:13:36,116 --> 00:13:38,216
Hortence, I need
to talk to you.
284
00:13:38,218 --> 00:13:41,219
Actually, I need to
talk to all of you.
285
00:13:41,221 --> 00:13:45,523
I may not be the Best Man, but
I'm the only man for this job.
286
00:13:45,525 --> 00:13:47,725
Hello, Dan, nice to see you!
287
00:13:47,727 --> 00:13:49,761
I heard you were going
to be in our wedding!
288
00:13:49,763 --> 00:13:53,498
You, sir, are a fraud!
289
00:13:53,500 --> 00:13:56,084
What?!
290
00:13:56,085 --> 00:13:58,669
Dan! We're NOT making a scene,
remember?! We're leaving.
291
00:13:58,672 --> 00:14:00,772
As soon as I'm done
with these canapes.
292
00:14:00,774 --> 00:14:02,974
Dan, what are you doing?
293
00:14:02,976 --> 00:14:06,644
I'm sorry, Hortence, but you
can't marry Jeremiah Burger.
294
00:14:06,646 --> 00:14:08,379
He's been lying to you.
295
00:14:08,381 --> 00:14:10,481
I most certainly have not!
296
00:14:10,483 --> 00:14:14,452
He has, and I have proof!
297
00:14:14,454 --> 00:14:17,689
Ladies and gentlemen of the
wedding, Jeremiah Burger
298
00:14:17,691 --> 00:14:24,195
has been married, not once,
not twice, but SIX times!
299
00:14:24,197 --> 00:14:26,731
So... come on.
300
00:14:26,733 --> 00:14:28,399
You can cry on my shoulder
in the car.
301
00:14:28,401 --> 00:14:30,902
Did you think I
didn't know that?!
302
00:14:30,904 --> 00:14:32,570
Uh... what?
303
00:14:32,572 --> 00:14:35,840
I've met all of his exes.
We're friends.
304
00:14:35,842 --> 00:14:39,611
That's them right there!
305
00:14:39,613 --> 00:14:40,745
Oh.
306
00:14:40,747 --> 00:14:43,615
This really is
unacceptable behavior.
307
00:14:43,617 --> 00:14:46,017
Especially from a bridesmaid.
308
00:14:49,155 --> 00:14:53,625
Sheesh. Try to help someone out,
and this is the thanks you get.
309
00:14:53,627 --> 00:14:57,695
I have never been so humiliated
in all my life.
310
00:14:57,697 --> 00:15:01,432
You ruined my rehearsal dinner!
I thought you were my friend.
311
00:15:01,434 --> 00:15:03,868
Hortence, I just need
to tell you something
312
00:15:03,870 --> 00:15:05,803
before you go through
with this.
313
00:15:05,805 --> 00:15:09,540
I know you feel the same way
about me that I do about you.
314
00:15:09,542 --> 00:15:11,342
I... I--
315
00:15:11,344 --> 00:15:14,479
I never want to see you again!
316
00:15:14,481 --> 00:15:18,149
That's not how I feel
about you!
317
00:15:26,593 --> 00:15:31,396
Just to clarify, when I said
"be delicate," you thought
318
00:15:31,398 --> 00:15:34,532
I meant "Grab a microphone
and make a scene in
319
00:15:34,534 --> 00:15:36,134
front of everyone?"
320
00:15:36,136 --> 00:15:39,737
In retrospect, perhaps
some errors were made.
321
00:15:39,739 --> 00:15:41,472
What took you so long?
322
00:15:41,474 --> 00:15:43,274
They kept handing
me trays of food.
323
00:15:43,276 --> 00:15:47,378
This one's pigs-in-a-blanket.
324
00:15:47,380 --> 00:15:49,981
So Dan, you've alienated
the love of your life,
325
00:15:49,983 --> 00:15:53,251
ruined a dinner, and made a
complete fool of yourself.
326
00:15:53,253 --> 00:15:55,453
What would you like to do with
the rest of the evening?
327
00:15:55,455 --> 00:15:57,488
Sure, kick me when I'm down.
328
00:15:57,490 --> 00:16:01,326
Did it ever occur to you that
maybe Hortence and Jeremiah
329
00:16:01,328 --> 00:16:02,927
will be happy together?
330
00:16:02,929 --> 00:16:06,497
That's not possible!
She's supposed to be with me!
331
00:16:06,499 --> 00:16:09,968
And the worst part of all of
this is that you were right.
332
00:16:09,970 --> 00:16:12,070
That's the worst part?
333
00:16:12,072 --> 00:16:16,140
I never told Hortence how I
feel. And now it's too late.
334
00:16:16,142 --> 00:16:18,810
It's never too late. Tell her.
335
00:16:18,812 --> 00:16:20,778
She may not choose
you, but at least
336
00:16:20,780 --> 00:16:24,282
you won't spend the rest of
your life wondering "What if?"
337
00:16:24,284 --> 00:16:27,385
This isn't the ending of
"Three Chicks Crying."
338
00:16:27,387 --> 00:16:29,587
I blew my chance.
339
00:16:29,589 --> 00:16:32,323
Security at the wedding will
no doubt be on the lookout.
340
00:16:32,325 --> 00:16:35,493
Wait, did you sit through
the entire movie?
341
00:16:35,495 --> 00:16:40,298
You know, I have a friend who
might be able to help you out.
342
00:16:43,103 --> 00:16:45,236
What a lovely day for a wedding!
343
00:16:45,238 --> 00:16:50,241
Yup! Nothing suspicious
about us!
344
00:16:50,243 --> 00:16:52,443
Very smooth, Chris.
345
00:16:52,445 --> 00:16:58,750
Sorry. I panicked. I guess
it's all up to him, now.
346
00:17:01,688 --> 00:17:03,921
These things are
safe, right?
347
00:17:03,923 --> 00:17:05,289
What, the plane?
348
00:17:05,291 --> 00:17:08,459
Well, you know, you roll the
dice every time you go up.
349
00:17:08,461 --> 00:17:10,928
That doesn't make me
feel any better!
350
00:17:10,930 --> 00:17:14,432
Don't worry, I've had old
Betsy here for twenty years!
351
00:17:14,434 --> 00:17:18,569
Never even had to take her
in for maintenance!
352
00:17:19,873 --> 00:17:21,873
Huh. Wonder what that was.
353
00:17:21,875 --> 00:17:24,675
Oh, man. We're gonna die.
354
00:17:24,677 --> 00:17:27,478
Yup! Solid as a rock!
355
00:17:27,480 --> 00:17:29,647
There's some duct tape
under your seat.
356
00:17:29,649 --> 00:17:31,816
Go ahead and fix that for me?
357
00:17:37,023 --> 00:17:39,323
All we have to do is make
sure people are looking
358
00:17:39,325 --> 00:17:41,008
the right way.
359
00:17:41,009 --> 00:17:42,692
Why did Dan have to
be in the plane?
360
00:17:42,695 --> 00:17:44,562
I want Dan to express himself.
361
00:17:44,564 --> 00:17:46,631
I don't actually want him
to ruin the wedding.
362
00:17:46,633 --> 00:17:48,666
You're so smart.
363
00:17:50,370 --> 00:17:54,338
Man, I always forget
I'm scared of heights!
364
00:17:54,340 --> 00:17:58,309
We're in position!
Hold tight!
365
00:18:03,483 --> 00:18:08,352
Look! Skywriting!
366
00:18:08,354 --> 00:18:10,221
Did you do this?
367
00:18:10,223 --> 00:18:11,522
Uh, no.
368
00:18:12,792 --> 00:18:14,826
I can't see what we're writing.
369
00:18:14,828 --> 00:18:19,797
We're writing "Hortence, I love
you, don't marry him, Dan."
370
00:18:19,799 --> 00:18:22,867
What?! Don't write that!
371
00:18:22,869 --> 00:18:29,674
How about "Hortence, I
feel warmly towards you."
372
00:18:29,676 --> 00:18:31,342
No can do, buddy!
373
00:18:31,344 --> 00:18:33,778
I was given specific
instructions to force
374
00:18:33,780 --> 00:18:35,780
you to express yourself.
375
00:18:35,782 --> 00:18:39,083
Well we're changing the plan!
376
00:18:39,085 --> 00:18:43,154
What--what are you
doing?! Are you crazy?
377
00:18:43,156 --> 00:18:45,289
Uh, oh.
378
00:18:45,291 --> 00:18:47,091
What's it say?
379
00:18:47,093 --> 00:18:49,260
It looks like gibberish
to me.
380
00:18:49,262 --> 00:18:52,597
I think it's Welsh!
And it's filthy!
381
00:18:55,368 --> 00:18:59,570
Aaahh! Help me! My
seatbelt's broken!
382
00:18:59,572 --> 00:19:01,472
Use the duct tape!
383
00:19:01,474 --> 00:19:03,040
When we get back,
384
00:19:03,042 --> 00:19:05,610
I'm going to have your
pilots license revoked!
385
00:19:05,612 --> 00:19:10,848
Haha! Joke's on you!
I don't have one!
386
00:19:20,326 --> 00:19:22,426
Seriously?
387
00:19:26,099 --> 00:19:33,204
Hortence, ever since I met you,
I wanted to make you a Burger--
388
00:19:33,206 --> 00:19:34,839
Oh, What was that?!
389
00:19:41,147 --> 00:19:46,017
We should go.
390
00:19:46,019 --> 00:19:47,318
This is-- Gyuhhhh...
391
00:19:47,320 --> 00:19:51,789
Jeremiah! Oh, no!
Somebody help me!
392
00:19:51,791 --> 00:19:52,990
Dan?!
393
00:19:52,992 --> 00:19:56,327
Hortence, don't marry
Jeremiah Burger.
394
00:19:56,329 --> 00:19:59,063
All the craziness of the last
couple of days has made me
395
00:19:59,065 --> 00:20:02,266
realize I need to
tell you how I feel.
396
00:20:02,268 --> 00:20:03,367
I l--
397
00:20:03,368 --> 00:20:04,467
Jeremiah's fainted!
398
00:20:04,470 --> 00:20:06,103
You've got to help me get
him out of here before
399
00:20:06,105 --> 00:20:08,940
the whole place burns down!
400
00:20:08,942 --> 00:20:10,875
Or, we could go to a movie.
401
00:20:10,877 --> 00:20:13,678
I know it's not Tuesday
but if we go dutch--
402
00:20:13,680 --> 00:20:15,546
DAN!
403
00:20:15,548 --> 00:20:17,281
FINE!
404
00:20:23,523 --> 00:20:26,724
He'll be okay. Thanks for
helping me save him.
405
00:20:26,726 --> 00:20:28,526
I'm really sorry, Hortence.
406
00:20:28,528 --> 00:20:30,628
I didn't mean to
wreck your wedding.
407
00:20:30,630 --> 00:20:32,730
Well, I did at first, but then--
408
00:20:32,732 --> 00:20:35,466
I know, Dan. In a way,
I'm flattered.
409
00:20:35,468 --> 00:20:38,102
You did all this just
to get me back?
410
00:20:38,104 --> 00:20:45,243
Of course I did! I llll... I
llll... I think you're great.
411
00:20:45,245 --> 00:20:47,078
I thought you were great too.
412
00:20:47,080 --> 00:20:49,280
Up until you ruined my
life and everything.
413
00:20:49,282 --> 00:20:53,551
Well, sure, that... I just...
thought we had something.
414
00:20:53,553 --> 00:20:57,955
We did, Dan. But I'm in love
with Jeremiah. Not with you.
415
00:20:57,957 --> 00:20:59,173
But--
416
00:20:59,174 --> 00:21:00,390
Jeremiah's going to get
out of the hospital,
417
00:21:00,393 --> 00:21:03,861
and we're going to elope.
Someplace far away.
418
00:21:03,863 --> 00:21:08,733
And that's that. Goodbye, Dan.
419
00:21:11,204 --> 00:21:13,871
Well, at least you wrecked
the wedding.
420
00:21:13,873 --> 00:21:16,140
Sorry you lost
Hortence forever.
421
00:21:16,142 --> 00:21:18,042
What do you mean forever!?
422
00:21:18,044 --> 00:21:20,578
Her husband eats
nothing but burgers.
423
00:21:20,580 --> 00:21:23,881
Before you know it, he'll have
a heart attack and Hortence
424
00:21:23,883 --> 00:21:27,952
and I will live happily ever
after on Burger Island.
425
00:21:27,954 --> 00:21:30,605
Huh.
426
00:21:30,606 --> 00:21:33,257
That's the first time I've heard
you discuss a retirement plan.
427
00:21:35,962 --> 00:21:38,496
I'm okay!
428
00:21:38,498 --> 00:21:43,100
(rod o.s.)
WHAAA!!
429
00:21:43,150 --> 00:21:47,700
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