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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,771 --> 00:00:07,771 Subtitles by explosiveskull 2 00:00:07,773 --> 00:00:10,289 So, what do you want to do today? 3 00:00:10,727 --> 00:00:14,727 Um. I think I'm gonna get some work done. Do you mind? 4 00:00:15,132 --> 00:00:17,678 No, I'll get some work done, too. 5 00:00:30,958 --> 00:00:34,110 Are you seriously pretending to be asleep right now? 6 00:00:34,112 --> 00:00:35,256 What? 7 00:00:35,258 --> 00:00:37,365 Get up! It's your turn. 8 00:00:37,983 --> 00:00:39,433 I got up at three. 9 00:00:39,775 --> 00:00:40,975 I got up at five. 10 00:00:41,326 --> 00:00:42,806 I went to bed at one. 11 00:00:43,036 --> 00:00:44,806 You were wasting time online. 12 00:00:44,909 --> 00:00:46,649 I was writing! 13 00:00:57,547 --> 00:00:58,527 Hey, hon. 14 00:00:59,127 --> 00:01:00,837 Hey. What're you doing today? 15 00:01:00,867 --> 00:01:03,201 Working. I'm about to head over to Trey's. 16 00:01:03,203 --> 00:01:04,821 You have to be back by, like, 5:30. 17 00:01:04,823 --> 00:01:05,721 I will be. 18 00:01:05,723 --> 00:01:06,873 'kay. 19 00:01:07,463 --> 00:01:10,051 Don't you and Trey ever get sick of each other? 20 00:01:10,053 --> 00:01:11,963 Lisa, he's my brother. 21 00:01:13,087 --> 00:01:16,507 I know, I just miss spending Saturdays with you. 22 00:01:16,738 --> 00:01:20,278 We literally have three scripts due this week, so... 23 00:01:21,112 --> 00:01:22,620 What're you doing here? 24 00:01:22,622 --> 00:01:23,730 Working out. 25 00:01:23,732 --> 00:01:24,820 Are those three pounds? 26 00:01:24,822 --> 00:01:26,090 Yeah. 27 00:01:26,092 --> 00:01:26,973 Can I feel it? 28 00:01:27,051 --> 00:01:28,750 This isn't gonna do anything. 29 00:01:28,752 --> 00:01:30,884 You might as well be standing here, with no weights, just moving your arms back and forth. 30 00:01:30,886 --> 00:01:32,648 Can't believe they sell these things. 31 00:01:32,650 --> 00:01:33,903 Stop it. 32 00:01:33,905 --> 00:01:34,883 You can't... no... 33 00:01:34,885 --> 00:01:36,975 It's for toning. I don't like to sweat. 34 00:01:38,532 --> 00:01:40,082 I love you. 35 00:01:40,810 --> 00:01:42,154 Don't be late! 36 00:01:42,156 --> 00:01:43,246 I won't! 37 00:01:48,926 --> 00:01:51,246 We haven't had sex in a while. 38 00:01:51,689 --> 00:01:53,219 It's bullshit! 39 00:01:53,991 --> 00:01:57,321 Well, we could do something about it right now. 40 00:01:57,459 --> 00:01:59,779 Bree. I'm never gonna say no. 41 00:02:04,145 --> 00:02:05,989 Why am I the only one who ever starts the dishwasher? 42 00:02:05,991 --> 00:02:07,835 You didn't start the dishwasher! 43 00:02:07,837 --> 00:02:09,785 What?! 44 00:02:09,881 --> 00:02:10,861 Nothing. 45 00:02:12,072 --> 00:02:14,924 Here, baby. Gonna sit right there. 46 00:02:18,944 --> 00:02:20,412 Mm-hm. 47 00:02:20,722 --> 00:02:22,860 What's that? 48 00:02:24,000 --> 00:02:25,260 What? 49 00:02:25,590 --> 00:02:27,198 Nice 30-minute shower. 50 00:02:27,200 --> 00:02:29,178 It was 16 minutes. I timed it. 51 00:02:29,180 --> 00:02:33,178 How is it that I can get myself and the kids ready in the same amount of time it takes you to get yourself ready? 52 00:02:33,180 --> 00:02:37,028 Well, remember how we read that men's brains aren't wired for multi-tasking? 53 00:02:37,030 --> 00:02:41,258 Well, how about finishing a single task? Like, you never start the dishwasher. 54 00:02:41,260 --> 00:02:43,238 I start the dishwasher all the time. 55 00:02:43,240 --> 00:02:46,508 You think if you do something once every three weeks, you do it regularly. 56 00:02:46,510 --> 00:02:49,150 Well, once every three weeks IS regularly. 57 00:02:49,269 --> 00:02:51,837 Oh my ga. I want to kill you right now! 58 00:02:51,839 --> 00:02:53,067 I'm anxious about tonight. 59 00:02:53,069 --> 00:02:54,459 Why? It's gonna be fun. 60 00:02:54,579 --> 00:02:59,069 It's gonna be awkward as hell. You shouldn't have set it up. 61 00:03:01,079 --> 00:03:04,489 You just, you have to admit, you like to stir the pot. 62 00:03:04,920 --> 00:03:08,469 It was Ginger's suggestion. And Chris was fine with it. 63 00:03:09,135 --> 00:03:15,227 I'll bet. Is he bringing that girl? The one that he cheated with? 64 00:03:15,229 --> 00:03:20,974 No. No. They're each coming alone. They agreed. 65 00:03:21,314 --> 00:03:27,039 Poor Ginger. I'll bet she's still a mess. 66 00:03:27,041 --> 00:03:29,089 I've been thinking about Ginger. 67 00:03:29,091 --> 00:03:30,692 Poor Ginger. 68 00:03:30,694 --> 00:03:35,166 I don't think it's a good idea for her to be spending so much time in Texas. 69 00:03:35,168 --> 00:03:40,449 Last time she came back, she'd eaten so much fried food, all she could fit into was her sweatpants. 70 00:03:40,451 --> 00:03:42,878 Jesus. 71 00:03:42,880 --> 00:03:46,109 Marriage is like a business contract. 72 00:03:46,209 --> 00:03:50,057 Each party signs the contract because they're getting certain things out of the deal... 73 00:03:50,059 --> 00:03:53,217 And when Chris married Ginger, part of the deal was that she was slim and attractive. 74 00:03:53,219 --> 00:03:56,231 Okay, but you shouldn't have to worry about your spouse cheating on you... 75 00:03:56,233 --> 00:03:58,975 just because you've gained some weight over the years. 76 00:03:58,977 --> 00:04:01,529 SOME weight? 77 00:04:01,531 --> 00:04:06,487 Okay, Ginger's gotten huge. But it's hard for her 'cause she's such a good cook. 78 00:04:06,489 --> 00:04:10,935 I mean, I don't know how Chris stayed so slim all these years. 79 00:04:10,937 --> 00:04:14,475 He's self-disciplined because he's vain. 80 00:04:14,477 --> 00:04:19,225 I always knew he was going to cheat. There's no way a guy who's that good-looking is going to stay faithful. 81 00:04:19,227 --> 00:04:23,326 You sound like you would've cheated with him if you'd had the chance. 82 00:04:23,328 --> 00:04:24,953 Unh... 83 00:04:24,955 --> 00:04:27,328 Whatever. He was crazy to cheat on her. 84 00:04:27,330 --> 00:04:30,055 She's cool and she cooks, like, a four-course dinner every night. 85 00:04:30,057 --> 00:04:32,824 I mean, who cares about sex when you can eat like a king? 86 00:04:33,834 --> 00:04:36,922 We're not leaving until we own this town. 87 00:04:37,112 --> 00:04:40,096 Not this side, not the Valley. The other side. 88 00:04:40,098 --> 00:04:41,636 I've been thinking about Ginger. 89 00:04:41,638 --> 00:04:43,977 Ah. Poor Ginger. 90 00:04:44,857 --> 00:04:51,936 Then I started thinking about our sisters and your mother and my mother and all the women we know. 91 00:04:51,938 --> 00:04:54,627 And it's like we've seen them all act a little crazy. 92 00:04:54,629 --> 00:04:56,341 Mm. 93 00:04:56,381 --> 00:05:00,533 So, I'm developing this theory. That all women occasionally act nuts. 94 00:05:00,535 --> 00:05:04,687 It's just a question of how nuts... like, where are they on the continuum. 95 00:05:04,689 --> 00:05:08,842 Yeah, well, that's what I like about women. I think it's cool how they can be unpredictable. 96 00:05:08,844 --> 00:05:15,518 It's holding us back. You know, it makes men uncomfortable because they're only used to experiencing one emotion. 97 00:05:15,538 --> 00:05:19,572 Or maybe several. But you know it all funnels down to the same one... anger. 98 00:05:19,574 --> 00:05:22,018 And then they snap and kill their whole family. 99 00:05:22,020 --> 00:05:24,945 So, all men are angry? 100 00:05:24,947 --> 00:05:28,140 Well, what blanket statement can we make about men? 101 00:05:28,142 --> 00:05:32,867 It's what Thoreau said. Most are leading lives of quiet desperation. 102 00:05:32,869 --> 00:05:36,092 You know, they go to work and they help with the kids and they take out the trash 103 00:05:36,094 --> 00:05:40,027 And then they go to work and they help with the kids and they take out the trash... 104 00:05:40,029 --> 00:05:41,936 And the whole time? They're daydreaming. 105 00:05:41,938 --> 00:05:47,027 About being big and important and powerful and screwing Scarlett Johansson. Or whoever. 106 00:05:47,467 --> 00:05:49,265 I'll buy that. 107 00:05:49,267 --> 00:05:51,325 You want to have sex with Scarlett Johansson? 108 00:05:51,327 --> 00:05:54,596 No, I meant I buy your theory, overall. 109 00:05:54,866 --> 00:05:57,493 You don't want to have sex with her? 110 00:05:57,495 --> 00:06:00,038 I don't find her attractive. 111 00:06:00,088 --> 00:06:01,601 Right! 112 00:06:01,621 --> 00:06:05,585 Believe it or not, when I fantasize about having sex, it's with you. 113 00:06:05,587 --> 00:06:07,342 Always? 114 00:06:08,272 --> 00:06:10,664 You never imagine yourself having sex with anyone but me? 115 00:06:10,666 --> 00:06:15,119 And you never imagine yourself having sex with anybody but me? 116 00:06:15,849 --> 00:06:18,621 I wish neither one of us were ever attracted to anyone else. 117 00:06:18,623 --> 00:06:23,411 It IS like that. Mostly. Seriously. 118 00:06:23,413 --> 00:06:32,318 It's like everything is built on a foundation of little white lies. We're living in a house of cards. 119 00:06:37,608 --> 00:06:40,675 Who needs four cars?! 120 00:06:40,677 --> 00:06:44,267 I know. I guess they haven't heard about the fossil fuel situation. 121 00:06:44,269 --> 00:06:46,933 Michelle. We drive an SUV and a station wagon. 122 00:06:46,935 --> 00:06:48,804 Yeah, but our next cars are going to be hybrids. 123 00:06:48,806 --> 00:06:51,892 Oh, well, we can start judging people once we get them. 124 00:06:51,894 --> 00:06:53,389 'kay. 125 00:06:53,609 --> 00:06:55,641 You should find out if he's hiring. 126 00:06:55,643 --> 00:06:56,342 Ugh. 127 00:06:56,362 --> 00:06:58,139 You haven't staffed in three seasons. 128 00:06:58,141 --> 00:07:00,627 He's a hack. And his brother's a clown. 129 00:07:00,647 --> 00:07:03,318 A hack and a clown... 130 00:07:05,538 --> 00:07:08,186 You know that one of their episodes is up for an Emmy? 131 00:07:08,188 --> 00:07:09,554 Really? 132 00:07:09,556 --> 00:07:15,800 I can guarantee they didn't write it though. In TV, everybody on staff contributes to every episode. 133 00:07:15,980 --> 00:07:20,108 Well. This hack is 30 years old and owns a house that costs... 134 00:07:20,110 --> 00:07:22,065 $2.5. 135 00:07:22,245 --> 00:07:24,769 Oh my god. 136 00:07:24,869 --> 00:07:25,959 Hi! 137 00:07:26,209 --> 00:07:27,477 Heeeey!!! 138 00:07:35,415 --> 00:07:38,944 They never hear us because this house is so big. 139 00:07:40,439 --> 00:07:42,243 Lisa? 140 00:07:42,563 --> 00:07:44,547 Josh? 141 00:07:49,147 --> 00:07:53,681 Art. I guess they're collecting now. 142 00:07:53,791 --> 00:07:58,169 That fucker. He's just over here printing money. 143 00:08:02,809 --> 00:08:05,096 Hello? 144 00:08:05,546 --> 00:08:07,285 Hello? 145 00:08:11,335 --> 00:08:12,133 Hi! 146 00:08:12,263 --> 00:08:14,235 Hi! How are you? 147 00:08:14,245 --> 00:08:16,397 Really good! How are you guys? 148 00:08:16,399 --> 00:08:18,281 Good to see you! 149 00:08:18,283 --> 00:08:20,245 Glad you could make it finally. 150 00:08:20,247 --> 00:08:23,124 We can stay out late, my mom's babysitting for us, thank you. 151 00:08:23,126 --> 00:08:24,526 Yes! 152 00:08:24,528 --> 00:08:26,392 I am going to drink my ass off. 153 00:08:26,394 --> 00:08:28,881 No, it's your turn to get up with Emma and Chloe tomorrow. 154 00:08:28,991 --> 00:08:31,865 Wow. I bet you guys can't wait to have kids, right? 155 00:08:32,776 --> 00:08:35,886 No, you have to do it. Seriously, it's the best thing that ever happened to me. 156 00:08:35,956 --> 00:08:39,062 Actually, we're trying to get pregnant, so... 157 00:08:39,292 --> 00:08:41,532 Yeah, I could be good without kids, but... whatever. 158 00:08:41,562 --> 00:08:44,811 What're you talking about? You totally thought that baby was so cute at the barbecue. 159 00:08:44,813 --> 00:08:49,802 All babies are cute. That's their thing. But is that any reason to make an irreversible decision? 160 00:08:49,804 --> 00:08:53,083 Well, if you didn't want to have kids, we shouldn't have gotten married. 161 00:08:53,583 --> 00:08:54,685 Nice. 162 00:08:54,687 --> 00:08:56,586 What? I'm just saying. 163 00:08:56,588 --> 00:08:59,111 We're gonna tackle the big issues tonight! 164 00:09:00,414 --> 00:09:02,810 So, where's Ginger and Chris? 165 00:09:02,812 --> 00:09:07,650 I told them not to come until 7:30, so that we could have some time to discuss the situation. 166 00:09:07,652 --> 00:09:09,083 The puppet master. 167 00:09:09,085 --> 00:09:10,724 Stop calling me that. 168 00:09:10,726 --> 00:09:13,132 Wow. That picture is amazing. 169 00:09:13,572 --> 00:09:15,097 They got another TV? 170 00:09:15,717 --> 00:09:17,333 Check it out. 171 00:09:21,383 --> 00:09:23,631 Sloppy already. 172 00:09:23,911 --> 00:09:26,770 So. Chris and Ginger are coming together? 173 00:09:26,772 --> 00:09:28,998 No. Separately. 174 00:09:29,488 --> 00:09:31,456 What was she doing in Texas? 175 00:09:31,496 --> 00:09:35,035 I have no idea because she's not on Facebook. 176 00:09:35,145 --> 00:09:38,123 People who aren't on Facebook think they're so cool. 177 00:09:38,291 --> 00:09:39,969 No offense, Bree. 178 00:09:39,971 --> 00:09:42,962 But really it's just a huge pain in the ass for anybody who loves them... 179 00:09:42,964 --> 00:09:44,845 because how are we supposed to keep in touch? 180 00:09:44,847 --> 00:09:47,380 Yeah. And she never checks her email, okay? 181 00:09:47,382 --> 00:09:50,737 She has this whole thing about how email exists as a convenience to us... 182 00:09:50,739 --> 00:09:54,094 and we're not supposed to let it run our lives. 183 00:09:54,096 --> 00:10:00,304 And she says we have to consciously decide how much time we're gonna give it. 184 00:10:00,404 --> 00:10:04,192 See? This is why I love her. Who else says stuff like that? 185 00:10:04,194 --> 00:10:08,245 I don't have time to consciously decide to do anything. What am I gonna do, call her? 186 00:10:08,247 --> 00:10:12,568 I don't have time to call everybody I want to keep in touch with. I have children. 187 00:10:12,570 --> 00:10:14,582 Well, she has Oliver. 188 00:10:14,584 --> 00:10:18,734 Yeah, but he's 10. And there's a huge difference between one and two. 189 00:10:18,736 --> 00:10:25,656 When you have your first, you think it's so hard, but when you have two, it's a whole other story. 190 00:10:25,658 --> 00:10:27,289 You're complaining. 191 00:10:27,291 --> 00:10:28,976 I'm not complaining, I'm just... 192 00:10:28,978 --> 00:10:32,271 You ARE complaining. 193 00:10:35,431 --> 00:10:37,780 Do you have Pepcid, or something for stomachs? 194 00:10:37,782 --> 00:10:39,103 What's the matter? 195 00:10:39,153 --> 00:10:41,708 I don't know. I have social anxiety or something? 196 00:10:41,710 --> 00:10:43,892 Why? It's just us. 197 00:10:44,882 --> 00:10:47,118 And George and Martha. 198 00:10:47,618 --> 00:10:49,721 Who's George and Martha? 199 00:10:49,781 --> 00:10:52,993 Elizabeth Taylor, Richard Burton. "Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?" 200 00:10:52,995 --> 00:10:56,521 Oh, is that a good movie? 201 00:10:56,523 --> 00:10:58,160 Is what good? 202 00:10:58,300 --> 00:11:00,505 Uh, "Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?". 203 00:11:00,507 --> 00:11:02,030 I love that movie. 204 00:11:02,032 --> 00:11:03,531 I've never seen it. 205 00:11:04,540 --> 00:11:05,768 What's that noise? 206 00:11:05,770 --> 00:11:07,973 Oh! Someone must be at the front door. 207 00:11:07,975 --> 00:11:10,492 Shoot, it's 7:30 already? 208 00:11:15,202 --> 00:11:19,574 Josh has never seen "Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?". 209 00:11:21,554 --> 00:11:22,565 Hello! 210 00:11:22,567 --> 00:11:23,727 Hey... 211 00:11:23,729 --> 00:11:24,782 Oh my gosh! 212 00:11:25,543 --> 00:11:27,450 You look amazing! 213 00:11:27,452 --> 00:11:34,315 Oh... thank you! I still have a couple more pounds to go, but I'm getting there. 214 00:11:34,317 --> 00:11:36,961 No, you look awesome! 215 00:11:37,541 --> 00:11:39,632 Oh, um, Lisa, this is Brad. 216 00:11:39,634 --> 00:11:40,561 Hi. 217 00:11:40,563 --> 00:11:41,600 Hi. 218 00:11:41,690 --> 00:11:43,404 You're cute! 219 00:11:43,464 --> 00:11:45,349 He's an actor. 220 00:11:45,351 --> 00:11:47,138 Neat. 221 00:11:48,078 --> 00:11:49,963 Uh, do you mind if I use your bathroom? 222 00:11:49,965 --> 00:11:52,408 Sure, yeah. 223 00:11:52,410 --> 00:11:54,164 So... 224 00:11:54,166 --> 00:12:00,683 Uh, do you mind if I go, too? We came from Malibu and you practically have to stop for snacks, you know? 225 00:12:00,685 --> 00:12:03,688 Sure. Just use the powder room, over there... 226 00:12:03,690 --> 00:12:09,192 That's okay, I'll just use this one. 227 00:12:09,462 --> 00:12:11,416 Okay. 228 00:12:13,966 --> 00:12:15,107 Hey! 229 00:12:15,109 --> 00:12:15,980 Uh... 230 00:12:15,982 --> 00:12:17,504 Can we have sex? 231 00:12:17,506 --> 00:12:18,621 Brad! 232 00:12:18,623 --> 00:12:20,428 I wanna go down on you. 233 00:12:20,498 --> 00:12:21,737 Oh my ga. 234 00:12:22,097 --> 00:12:25,872 So, last time we talked, you and Trey were trying to write a movie together. 235 00:12:25,874 --> 00:12:30,975 It's not easy, is it? I always tell you TV guys features aren't just longer, they're a whole different animal. 236 00:12:30,977 --> 00:12:33,128 It's hard to sustain a story over a hundred pages. 237 00:12:33,130 --> 00:12:35,663 It's done, man. We sold it last week. 238 00:12:35,903 --> 00:12:39,639 Really? Who'd you guys sell it to? 239 00:12:39,819 --> 00:12:42,061 Will Ferrell and Adam McKay. 240 00:12:43,351 --> 00:12:46,113 That's great. That's fantastic. 241 00:12:46,123 --> 00:12:48,306 Yeah, those guys are really funny. 242 00:12:48,336 --> 00:12:50,599 Yeah. They're doing alright. 243 00:12:50,601 --> 00:12:55,102 You're a smartass. How much? If you don't mind me asking? 244 00:12:55,104 --> 00:12:58,204 Nah, it's fine, it was in the trades. 800. 245 00:13:00,214 --> 00:13:01,741 $800,000? 246 00:13:01,743 --> 00:13:02,921 No, 800 dollars. 247 00:13:05,055 --> 00:13:06,209 Ah, man. 248 00:13:07,699 --> 00:13:10,217 What's wrong? You look freaked out. 249 00:13:10,219 --> 00:13:11,640 Ginger lost weight. 250 00:13:11,642 --> 00:13:12,858 Really?! 251 00:13:12,860 --> 00:13:20,323 Yeah. And she brought a guy. And she went to the bathroom, and this kid... he's, like, 20... he asked if he could go, too. 252 00:13:20,325 --> 00:13:23,203 And they're in the bathroom together, right now. 253 00:13:23,205 --> 00:13:24,488 They're having sex? 254 00:13:24,490 --> 00:13:25,349 I don't know. 255 00:13:25,351 --> 00:13:26,487 In the powder room? 256 00:13:26,489 --> 00:13:27,581 Yeah. 257 00:13:27,583 --> 00:13:30,500 They better not get anything on the wallpaper, it's vintage. 258 00:13:30,502 --> 00:13:36,067 See that? Rich people have problems, too. They have to worry about guests ejaculating on their wallpaper. 259 00:13:38,051 --> 00:13:40,948 If I had said that, you would've told me I was disgusting. 260 00:13:40,950 --> 00:13:44,171 It was funny. Ryan is funny. 261 00:13:44,173 --> 00:13:45,757 I'm a comedy writer! 262 00:13:45,759 --> 00:13:48,134 You're funny, Dave. It's just that Ryan is used to, you know... 263 00:13:48,136 --> 00:13:51,983 getting up in front of a hundred people and making them laugh their asses off. 264 00:13:52,153 --> 00:13:54,561 I can't believe you. 265 00:13:54,731 --> 00:13:56,380 Oh my god! 266 00:13:56,630 --> 00:13:58,255 Hi! 267 00:13:58,355 --> 00:13:59,673 You look awesome! 268 00:13:59,675 --> 00:14:00,986 Oh... thank you! 269 00:14:00,988 --> 00:14:02,672 How did you lose the weight? 270 00:14:02,674 --> 00:14:05,605 I just was so busy working. 271 00:14:05,695 --> 00:14:07,110 How are you? 272 00:14:07,112 --> 00:14:07,650 Josh. 273 00:14:07,652 --> 00:14:08,974 I was catering a movie. 274 00:14:08,976 --> 00:14:09,697 In Austin? 275 00:14:09,699 --> 00:14:13,332 Yeah. That's how I met Brad. He was part of the cast. 276 00:14:13,334 --> 00:14:14,808 How's Oliver? 277 00:14:14,818 --> 00:14:17,608 He's great. He's with his cousins. I go back on Monday. 278 00:14:19,179 --> 00:14:20,972 What's that noise? 279 00:14:21,222 --> 00:14:23,487 Oh! Someone must be at the front door. 280 00:14:23,489 --> 00:14:25,254 That must be Chris. 281 00:14:25,494 --> 00:14:27,519 Has he seen you yet? 282 00:14:27,939 --> 00:14:29,586 No. 283 00:14:29,936 --> 00:14:31,924 He's going to shit a brick. 284 00:14:35,995 --> 00:14:36,920 Hi! 285 00:14:36,922 --> 00:14:38,009 Hi! 286 00:14:38,011 --> 00:14:39,299 How are you? 287 00:14:39,301 --> 00:14:40,462 Good. Good. 288 00:14:40,464 --> 00:14:42,555 Thank you. 289 00:14:45,195 --> 00:14:47,233 We haven't seen you in since... 290 00:14:47,235 --> 00:14:49,828 Forever. I know. 291 00:14:49,848 --> 00:14:52,211 Ahh... Ginger came, right? 292 00:14:52,331 --> 00:14:54,466 Yeah, she's here. 293 00:14:57,496 --> 00:14:58,347 Hey, guys. 294 00:14:58,349 --> 00:14:59,460 What's up? 295 00:14:59,462 --> 00:15:00,735 How're you doing? 296 00:15:01,475 --> 00:15:02,302 You look beautiful. 297 00:15:02,304 --> 00:15:03,822 Thank you. 298 00:15:03,912 --> 00:15:05,679 Ah, Chris. Nice to meet you. 299 00:15:05,719 --> 00:15:07,587 You, too. Brad. 300 00:15:07,589 --> 00:15:10,328 Ah. How do you know Josh and Lisa? 301 00:15:10,330 --> 00:15:13,113 I just met them. I'm here with Ginger. 302 00:15:13,593 --> 00:15:15,079 Oh. 303 00:15:16,119 --> 00:15:18,485 I thought we weren't bringing anyone? 304 00:15:18,535 --> 00:15:20,551 Oh, yeah, I'm sorry. 305 00:15:25,031 --> 00:15:27,815 You are wearing that outfit that I love. 306 00:15:27,817 --> 00:15:29,384 Yeah... 307 00:15:29,654 --> 00:15:31,353 Who needs a drink? 308 00:15:31,355 --> 00:15:34,392 I do. 309 00:15:38,832 --> 00:15:41,507 This silverware has a really nice weight to it. 310 00:15:41,509 --> 00:15:45,094 I knew you'd notice. You always appreciate nice things. 311 00:15:45,096 --> 00:15:46,994 Yeah, I noticed it, too, I was thinking about stealing some. 312 00:15:48,166 --> 00:15:50,825 Seriously, one spoon costs $200. 313 00:15:50,827 --> 00:15:54,250 I wanna hear some of your new material. Can we, after dinner? 314 00:15:54,252 --> 00:15:55,650 No. C'mon. 315 00:15:55,652 --> 00:15:57,691 For us. C'mon. 316 00:15:57,693 --> 00:16:03,754 Alright, I got some. Truthfully, I've been traveling so much that I really haven't had time to write. 317 00:16:03,934 --> 00:16:06,336 Gotta make time. No excuses. 318 00:16:07,176 --> 00:16:10,090 Right. No, I wrote today though, so... 319 00:16:10,170 --> 00:16:11,488 So did I. 320 00:16:11,490 --> 00:16:13,973 Well, you screwed around on the Internet. 321 00:16:14,063 --> 00:16:15,521 I was working. 322 00:16:16,211 --> 00:16:21,237 Oh, listen, there's a service you can subscribe to that blocks your access to the Internet for up to 8 hours a day. 323 00:16:21,239 --> 00:16:27,528 Is that where we're at right now? We can't be self-disciplined, we have to pay someone to enforce discipline? 324 00:16:27,530 --> 00:16:33,875 I know. It's lame. But, it only costs $7.95 a month. It's totally worth it. 325 00:16:33,877 --> 00:16:36,267 Wow. You and Trey do that? 326 00:16:36,517 --> 00:16:39,354 Ah, no. We don't have to. We're very self-motivated. 327 00:16:39,664 --> 00:16:40,742 Hm. 328 00:16:40,744 --> 00:16:42,444 That's fantastic. 329 00:16:43,284 --> 00:16:46,054 So, Ry, where are you performing these days? 330 00:16:46,764 --> 00:16:51,120 All over. Atlanta. Dallas. Pittsburgh. 331 00:16:51,122 --> 00:16:52,662 Have you been going with him, Bree? 332 00:16:52,664 --> 00:16:55,037 No. I tape five shows a week, so... 333 00:16:55,157 --> 00:16:56,779 Oh. Right. 334 00:16:57,019 --> 00:16:58,784 That many? 335 00:16:58,894 --> 00:17:01,672 Have you watched her show? Oh, it's fantastic. 336 00:17:01,674 --> 00:17:03,674 I keep forgetting, I'm sorry. 337 00:17:03,864 --> 00:17:05,382 I don't have time for that. 338 00:17:05,384 --> 00:17:06,815 Send me the link again. 339 00:17:06,817 --> 00:17:12,683 I can't believe this. My own friends. You know, I have strangers writing me and telling me they love it. 340 00:17:12,685 --> 00:17:16,111 This one guy told me it restored his faith in humanity. 341 00:17:16,113 --> 00:17:18,449 But it's opera, right? 342 00:17:18,451 --> 00:17:19,836 That's a tough sell. 343 00:17:19,838 --> 00:17:21,222 I don't have time to watch webisodes. 344 00:17:21,322 --> 00:17:23,756 They're only 2 minutes long. 345 00:17:23,758 --> 00:17:27,820 You know, one day Ryan and I are going to leave L.A. and then you'll all be sorry. 346 00:17:27,822 --> 00:17:32,124 'Cause you'll just be talking about how you saw Jim Carrey at the dog park. 347 00:17:32,126 --> 00:17:35,949 Who saw Jim Carrey at the dog park? Did you, did you see him, for real? 348 00:17:35,951 --> 00:17:37,226 I just made that up. 349 00:17:37,228 --> 00:17:37,954 Oh. 350 00:17:37,956 --> 00:17:41,412 I'm just saying that your whole lives will be one big Howard Stern conversation. 351 00:17:41,414 --> 00:17:43,010 I love Howard Stern. 352 00:17:43,012 --> 00:17:44,040 Love him. 353 00:17:44,042 --> 00:17:46,117 That's depressing. 354 00:17:46,327 --> 00:17:48,278 This chicken is very good. 355 00:17:48,280 --> 00:17:52,247 Oh, yeah. Lisa's a good little orderer. 356 00:17:55,987 --> 00:17:58,197 Um... 357 00:17:58,567 --> 00:18:02,215 Did I tell you guys that I'm going to London, with Josh and Trey? 358 00:18:02,217 --> 00:18:04,528 I thought you weren't going. 359 00:18:04,668 --> 00:18:09,939 We did a spreadsheet on how much she'd spend in London and how much she'd spend here... 360 00:18:09,941 --> 00:18:14,102 and we think she'd spend more here. Because there would be no controls. 361 00:18:14,104 --> 00:18:17,367 Yeah, because women are stupid spendthrifts. 362 00:18:17,369 --> 00:18:19,122 It's just that you want more. 363 00:18:19,124 --> 00:18:23,168 They don't want more, they want everything. They want to go to all the new restaurants... 364 00:18:23,170 --> 00:18:28,924 they want all the best clothes, they want to take the best vacations, they want to get all the best personal trainers... 365 00:18:28,926 --> 00:18:31,261 You don't like new restaurants? 366 00:18:31,263 --> 00:18:32,438 Well, yeah, but... 367 00:18:32,440 --> 00:18:34,807 And you don't wanna take great vacations? 368 00:18:34,809 --> 00:18:36,473 Well, yes, of course, but that's not... 369 00:18:36,475 --> 00:18:37,721 We help you lead fuller lives. 370 00:18:37,723 --> 00:18:38,929 Yes. 371 00:18:38,931 --> 00:18:40,089 Yeah. 372 00:18:42,659 --> 00:18:45,504 Hey. So what's your script about? 373 00:18:45,506 --> 00:18:46,895 Ah, which one? 374 00:18:47,175 --> 00:18:51,841 I was talking about the spec script that you sold, but uh, how many do you have? 375 00:18:51,843 --> 00:18:56,100 Well, when that one went out, everyone went nuts and wanted meetings with us... 376 00:18:56,102 --> 00:19:02,009 So, of course, we had this backlog of ideas we wanted to pitch... 377 00:19:02,011 --> 00:19:07,295 So, we're working on an animated film at Pixar, Spielberg wants to do a comedy... 378 00:19:07,297 --> 00:19:10,541 So, we're writing something for him, and... 379 00:19:10,543 --> 00:19:14,302 We're working on a project we would direct ourselves. 380 00:19:14,304 --> 00:19:18,303 Paramount would finance. Nothing huge, but they want to be in business with us 381 00:19:18,305 --> 00:19:22,054 And, one of our TV episodes was nominated for an Emmy. 382 00:19:22,056 --> 00:19:23,013 Oh, that's great. 383 00:19:23,015 --> 00:19:24,242 Congratulations. 384 00:19:24,244 --> 00:19:25,743 That's great news. 385 00:19:26,689 --> 00:19:30,556 You know what? I'm going to go open one of the bottles we brought. Anybody need anything else? 386 00:19:30,558 --> 00:19:32,613 I'm going to get ours, too. 387 00:19:34,363 --> 00:19:36,113 I wanna read that spec script he sold. 388 00:19:36,115 --> 00:19:37,973 We should ask him. 389 00:19:37,975 --> 00:19:42,317 Nah, because, he'll think that we have a chip on our shoulder, that we just wanna see if it's good. I'm telling ya. 390 00:19:42,319 --> 00:19:46,510 How could it be? Have you seen his show? It's so hacky. 391 00:19:46,650 --> 00:19:48,963 Eight hundred thousand dollars. 392 00:19:48,965 --> 00:19:52,983 It's 'cause he's self-confident. Confidence is everything in this town. 393 00:19:52,985 --> 00:19:55,596 I'm self-confident, hanh? 394 00:19:55,896 --> 00:19:58,667 I got a two-bedroom teardown in the Valley. 395 00:19:58,877 --> 00:20:01,978 Yeah, but Studio City's cool. It's not really the Valley. 396 00:20:01,980 --> 00:20:08,735 Don't patronize me. Alright? When we trade up, we'll move to the west side, alright? 397 00:20:08,865 --> 00:20:16,150 We like the Valley, we're very middle-class. When I bought Bree the Volvo, she acted like she'd won the lottery. 398 00:20:16,340 --> 00:20:19,565 Must be nice to have a wife you can please. 399 00:20:19,895 --> 00:20:22,110 She's the best. 400 00:20:23,250 --> 00:20:25,209 I have to do something about it... 401 00:20:25,211 --> 00:20:27,170 It's humbling just to be nominated... 402 00:20:27,172 --> 00:20:28,849 They have sticky things... 403 00:20:28,851 --> 00:20:31,088 Right. And it might not happen again... 404 00:20:31,090 --> 00:20:35,781 Bree? Bree? That's an unusual name. 405 00:20:36,151 --> 00:20:38,045 Yeah, my mom had just seen "Klute." 406 00:20:38,047 --> 00:20:42,354 Really? Your mom must be very interesting, to name you after a hooker. 407 00:20:42,954 --> 00:20:47,111 I mean, um, uh, a prostitute. 408 00:20:48,051 --> 00:20:50,326 Is "Klute" good? I haven't seen that. 409 00:20:50,328 --> 00:20:53,650 Never seen "Klute"?! 410 00:20:53,790 --> 00:20:56,943 So, how'd you two meet? 411 00:20:58,893 --> 00:21:02,467 I was working on a film that shot in Austin. 412 00:21:02,627 --> 00:21:04,283 Crew? 413 00:21:04,693 --> 00:21:06,349 No, no, I'm an actor. 414 00:21:06,351 --> 00:21:09,782 Mm. Big role? Small one? 415 00:21:09,842 --> 00:21:13,506 As actors, we're taught to believe that there are no small roles. 416 00:21:13,508 --> 00:21:17,026 Right. So, small. What movie? 417 00:21:17,028 --> 00:21:18,813 "Spaceman." 418 00:21:18,815 --> 00:21:20,938 Mm. I read the script. 419 00:21:20,948 --> 00:21:28,701 Well. I read the first 10 pages. It was actually so bad, I couldn't finish it. 420 00:21:30,731 --> 00:21:32,954 How old are you? 421 00:21:32,956 --> 00:21:34,589 Twenty-six. 422 00:21:34,591 --> 00:21:35,938 That's young. 423 00:21:35,940 --> 00:21:41,587 Yeah. He knows nothing about the heartache of soft erections. 424 00:21:43,969 --> 00:21:46,631 Wow. 425 00:21:47,321 --> 00:21:50,121 Plus, everyone our age is married. So... 426 00:21:50,123 --> 00:21:55,905 Yeah, but not all these marriages are going to last. I mean, the divorce rate is 50%. 427 00:22:03,417 --> 00:22:07,468 My wife. Twelve years we've been together. 428 00:22:07,470 --> 00:22:13,719 Yeah. And what's great about it is... and it kinda gets me choked up a little bit... we're very supportive of each other. 429 00:22:13,721 --> 00:22:17,032 We look out for each other, try to make each other happy. 430 00:22:17,034 --> 00:22:22,735 Like, lately, she's been giving me a lot of blow jobs. Which is awesome. 431 00:22:22,737 --> 00:22:30,020 And it's occurred to her that maybe blow jobs are fattening, because she's been gaining a little weight. 432 00:22:30,570 --> 00:22:39,385 The other day we're lying in bed and she says to me, "Look, I'm thinking that maybe sperm has a lot of calories." 433 00:22:39,387 --> 00:22:42,313 So, I immediately go into problem-solving mode. 434 00:22:42,315 --> 00:22:45,681 I'm like, "Why don't you start skipping lunch?" 435 00:22:45,683 --> 00:22:47,420 That was mean. 436 00:22:47,422 --> 00:22:49,789 That's hilarious, what're you talking about? 437 00:22:49,791 --> 00:22:50,981 Funny, Ryan. 438 00:22:51,517 --> 00:22:53,944 I'm just gonna play you guys the first few notes, okay? 439 00:22:53,946 --> 00:22:55,963 Oh, hey, hey, hey... 440 00:22:55,965 --> 00:22:58,035 Thank you. 441 00:23:35,875 --> 00:23:38,247 Did you guys get chills? 442 00:23:40,535 --> 00:23:43,360 Are you serious?! How are you guys not affected by that song? 443 00:23:43,362 --> 00:23:44,897 It was really beautiful, Bree. 444 00:23:44,899 --> 00:23:46,093 It was gorgeous. 445 00:23:46,095 --> 00:23:47,328 Hey, you guys wanna play poker? 446 00:23:47,330 --> 00:23:48,710 Yes! 447 00:23:48,712 --> 00:23:49,541 Yes. 448 00:23:49,543 --> 00:23:53,323 No. It's too late to start a game. It's ten o'clock, we have to stop drinking. 449 00:23:53,325 --> 00:23:58,451 No. No one stop drinking. You guys have to spend the night. Everyone should stay here, tonight. 450 00:23:58,611 --> 00:23:59,995 Really? 451 00:23:59,997 --> 00:24:02,561 Yeah. What's the point of having this big house, right? 452 00:24:02,801 --> 00:24:03,881 Alright. 453 00:24:03,981 --> 00:24:05,475 Call your mom. 454 00:24:05,685 --> 00:24:08,580 It's been so long since I've gotten shitfaced! 455 00:24:08,582 --> 00:24:12,167 We can play poker all night, and watch the sun rise... 456 00:24:12,169 --> 00:24:15,947 I feel alive. I'm alive, honey. 457 00:24:16,021 --> 00:24:18,626 Stop feeling alive. 458 00:24:18,628 --> 00:24:20,795 I'm alive! 459 00:24:21,505 --> 00:24:24,292 Don't feel sorry for me. 460 00:24:24,294 --> 00:24:25,910 We don't feel sorry for you. 461 00:24:25,912 --> 00:24:27,863 We feel bad for you. 462 00:24:28,083 --> 00:24:32,953 That's funny. Because I feel bad for you. 463 00:24:33,573 --> 00:24:35,179 Why?! 464 00:24:35,543 --> 00:24:39,649 Well, neither of you seem very happy right now. 465 00:24:39,861 --> 00:24:41,449 Me and Michelle? 466 00:24:41,631 --> 00:24:44,614 Why are you singling us out? 467 00:24:45,024 --> 00:24:47,833 Ryan and Bree are happy. 468 00:24:48,254 --> 00:24:51,761 Well... yeah... we're happy. But... 469 00:24:51,961 --> 00:24:54,909 What makes you think Dave and I aren't happy? 470 00:24:55,469 --> 00:24:57,100 Seriously? 471 00:24:57,102 --> 00:25:01,850 Bree said earlier that you guys were like the couple in "Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?". 472 00:25:01,852 --> 00:25:04,440 I mean, earlier, my stomach hurt, so I was... 473 00:25:04,442 --> 00:25:05,707 Great, so everybody thinks we're a mess. 474 00:25:05,709 --> 00:25:07,348 Oh, we don't think you're a mess... 475 00:25:07,350 --> 00:25:10,694 Look, I get it. You've got young kids. It's hard. 476 00:25:10,844 --> 00:25:13,597 Josh and I are trying to get pregnant. 477 00:25:13,737 --> 00:25:16,197 Of course you are. 478 00:25:16,557 --> 00:25:18,548 What does that mean? 479 00:25:18,568 --> 00:25:22,917 I just feel like we're all making the same mistakes our parents made. 480 00:25:22,987 --> 00:25:27,134 You're on shaky ground so you want to throw kids into the mix? 481 00:25:27,136 --> 00:25:30,455 You think I'm on shaky ground? 482 00:25:31,215 --> 00:25:39,029 You know how Josh acts like he's being funny because he's smiling or making some sort of joke but... 483 00:25:39,031 --> 00:25:43,117 really he's just criticizing you? 484 00:25:43,277 --> 00:25:44,833 Yeah. 485 00:25:46,403 --> 00:25:50,300 It seems like he doesn't respect you. 486 00:25:53,321 --> 00:25:58,098 Well... he has really high expectations of everyone, himself included. 487 00:25:58,100 --> 00:26:02,825 So, he's critical. But I think that he respects me. 488 00:26:02,827 --> 00:26:05,754 I know he respects me. 489 00:26:11,334 --> 00:26:14,471 That asshole. He doesn't respect me! 490 00:26:14,741 --> 00:26:16,747 Well, maybe he does, I don't know? 491 00:26:16,749 --> 00:26:19,971 No! No, he doesn't, I know he doesn't. 492 00:26:20,071 --> 00:26:24,026 Well, why don't you talk to him about it? If you call him on it, he's gonna have to change. 493 00:26:24,028 --> 00:26:25,857 That's optimistic. 494 00:26:26,177 --> 00:26:32,833 I know you're into positive thinking and the power of intention and all that shit, but sometimes it's just not realistic. 495 00:26:50,268 --> 00:26:51,733 What are you doing? 496 00:26:51,735 --> 00:26:54,337 I'm gonna do a spreadsheet, to see if I can afford to leave him. 497 00:26:54,339 --> 00:26:56,682 Nooo! Wait, that was just my opinion. 498 00:26:56,684 --> 00:27:00,977 Hey, I could be totally wrong. Everybody knows I'm a little screwed up right now. 499 00:27:00,979 --> 00:27:04,803 When we're done with her, let's do me. I think I can get some money from my parents. 500 00:27:04,805 --> 00:27:06,845 You don't want to get a divorce. 501 00:27:06,847 --> 00:27:08,951 Yeah, you do not want to get a divorce. 502 00:27:08,953 --> 00:27:12,139 Dave and I are really having problems right now. 503 00:27:12,141 --> 00:27:15,656 Listen, I get it, okay? You love your kids... 504 00:27:15,658 --> 00:27:17,785 They're the best thing that ever happened to me. 505 00:27:17,787 --> 00:27:21,400 But they're at an age where they require constant attention. 506 00:27:21,402 --> 00:27:25,925 And it doesn't matter how much you love them, there's a part of you that is angry. 507 00:27:25,927 --> 00:27:29,001 Because you don't have a life anymore. 508 00:27:29,003 --> 00:27:33,601 I know. So you start taking it out on the person closest to you... your spouse. 509 00:27:33,603 --> 00:27:37,055 You know, I read this book about how, in some cultures... 510 00:27:37,057 --> 00:27:42,149 couples don't even pretend they can stay together for the first 5 years of the child's life. 511 00:27:42,151 --> 00:27:45,603 So, the man... he leaves the home and he goes and sleeps somewhere else... 512 00:27:45,605 --> 00:27:50,112 and he just comes home to, you know, make repairs to the thatched hut and give the wife money. 513 00:27:50,114 --> 00:27:55,884 And the woman... she gives all her attention to the child, and her mother and sisters and aunts help her raise it. 514 00:27:56,334 --> 00:27:59,890 That's pretty smart. Most American women, though, 515 00:27:59,892 --> 00:28:04,728 would not be okay with their husband sleeping with another woman while we have to deal with the kids. 516 00:28:04,730 --> 00:28:09,317 Dave can be really annoying. He does all these little things. 517 00:28:09,319 --> 00:28:12,360 Everybody does all these little things. 518 00:28:12,980 --> 00:28:17,074 Look. I know he's a good person. And I love him and I wish him well. 519 00:28:17,154 --> 00:28:22,988 But what would be perfect is if we were really rich and could have two houses... 520 00:28:22,990 --> 00:28:26,234 so we could live near each other but not together. 521 00:28:26,236 --> 00:28:29,930 Which would lead to divorce. Because why would you be married to someone if you can live without them? 522 00:28:29,932 --> 00:28:36,116 Or, yeah, we'd get divorced. But we'd stay friends, and I'd hire two nannies, so I could have round-the-clock help. 523 00:28:36,118 --> 00:28:41,311 Which would lead to you never seeing your kids. So you'd feel guilty and you would indulge them... 524 00:28:41,313 --> 00:28:45,678 and then they would just be more and more demanding and you'd all be miserable. 525 00:28:45,948 --> 00:28:48,573 I feel really overwhelmed. 526 00:28:50,443 --> 00:28:51,927 So, is this about the Emmy thing you were talking about? 527 00:28:51,929 --> 00:28:54,631 This guy, he's out of control. 528 00:28:54,633 --> 00:28:55,620 He helped you with that? 529 00:28:55,622 --> 00:28:58,086 Yeah, he helped me. Makes all this money... 530 00:28:58,088 --> 00:29:00,954 When he signed the deal with ABC, they backed the truck up. 531 00:29:00,956 --> 00:29:07,009 Yeah, he is loaded. And now everyone's kissing his ass. Actresses who audition for his show... 532 00:29:07,019 --> 00:29:13,090 and there he is, stuck with his college sweetheart, whom he thought was the best he was ever going to do. 533 00:29:13,092 --> 00:29:14,344 She's cute. 534 00:29:14,346 --> 00:29:18,719 Yeah, but she's not beautiful. I mean, he could have his pick now. 535 00:29:18,979 --> 00:29:22,899 Yeah, but do you really wanna be with someone who's only with you because you have money? 536 00:29:22,901 --> 00:29:28,740 A young guy's perspective. Probably when we're that old, we'll settle for getting a beautiful woman any way we can. 537 00:29:28,742 --> 00:29:31,584 What're you talking about? Are you planning on being single? 538 00:29:31,586 --> 00:29:33,798 Hey. It's touch-and-go at my house. 539 00:29:33,800 --> 00:29:37,816 It's great being young, huh? The women are more fun? Easier to please, I guess. 540 00:29:37,818 --> 00:29:42,445 That's what makes them not fun. Women your age, they're harder to satisfy. 541 00:29:42,447 --> 00:29:44,283 I guess I like the challenge. 542 00:29:48,167 --> 00:29:50,077 You just have to get through the next couple of years. 543 00:29:50,079 --> 00:29:51,869 The kids will get easier. 544 00:29:51,871 --> 00:29:56,590 And in the meantime, you have to remember why you married Dave to begin with. 545 00:29:56,592 --> 00:30:01,313 And yes... you have to make yourself have sex with him. 546 00:30:01,473 --> 00:30:05,565 No. I have nooo desire. None. 547 00:30:05,575 --> 00:30:07,753 We don't have sex either. 548 00:30:07,823 --> 00:30:11,201 I just don't care about it. At all. 549 00:30:12,341 --> 00:30:16,295 Okay. Well, it will be your problem eventually. 550 00:30:16,297 --> 00:30:22,435 I mean, you can't tell a guy, "Hey, we're married, and you can never have sex with anyone else again." 551 00:30:22,437 --> 00:30:26,195 "Oh, and by the way, you can never have sex with me again." 552 00:30:26,197 --> 00:30:29,853 I mean, eventually he's going to decide that that's a bunch of bullshit 553 00:30:29,855 --> 00:30:33,271 and he's gonna find somebody else to have sex with. 554 00:30:33,273 --> 00:30:35,581 The oppressed will rise up. 555 00:30:35,583 --> 00:30:37,517 Is that what happened with you and Chris? 556 00:30:37,519 --> 00:30:40,199 Do you think he was justified in having the affair? 557 00:30:40,201 --> 00:30:41,598 No. 558 00:30:41,928 --> 00:30:45,133 At least, I would never tell him that. 559 00:30:45,135 --> 00:30:51,051 But yeah, we didn't have sex. I just, I just didn't feel like it. 560 00:30:51,053 --> 00:30:53,340 But he's so good-looking. 561 00:30:55,210 --> 00:30:57,443 I'm just saying... 562 00:30:57,445 --> 00:31:00,456 I mean, if she didn't feel like having sex with Chris... 563 00:31:00,458 --> 00:31:03,539 how am I supposed to feel like having sex with Dave? 564 00:31:03,541 --> 00:31:04,904 That's so mean! 565 00:31:04,906 --> 00:31:11,650 What? It's just sometimes I look at him and he already seems middle-aged. 566 00:31:11,910 --> 00:31:16,461 Well, we almost are. It's not that far off. 567 00:31:16,463 --> 00:31:20,021 Actually, I read this book by Desmond Morris... 568 00:31:20,023 --> 00:31:23,481 that says men's waists expand as they get older... 569 00:31:23,483 --> 00:31:26,889 and their shoulders get more narrow and rounded... 570 00:31:26,891 --> 00:31:29,648 and this is all part of nature's grand plan... 571 00:31:29,650 --> 00:31:32,679 so that they will be less attractive to other women... 572 00:31:32,681 --> 00:31:35,602 so that they will stay with their wives and help raise the children. 573 00:31:35,902 --> 00:31:38,674 How do you find time to read all this shit? 574 00:31:39,224 --> 00:31:40,885 Dave is awesome. 575 00:31:40,887 --> 00:31:42,737 I find him very attractive. 576 00:31:42,739 --> 00:31:45,301 I love Dave. He's... he's great. 577 00:31:45,303 --> 00:31:47,167 He would freak if he heard this. 578 00:31:47,169 --> 00:31:48,532 You should tell him. 579 00:31:48,534 --> 00:31:51,093 Yeah, why don't you, if it'd give him a boost? 580 00:31:51,095 --> 00:31:52,396 No. 581 00:31:52,398 --> 00:31:53,821 Why? 582 00:31:53,861 --> 00:31:58,015 Because. I don't want to give him power. 583 00:31:58,017 --> 00:31:59,752 - Michelle! - Ohh! 584 00:31:59,754 --> 00:32:01,029 What? 585 00:32:01,031 --> 00:32:02,539 Okay, that's bitchy. 586 00:32:02,629 --> 00:32:05,797 I guess I'm in a bad place right now. 587 00:32:06,567 --> 00:32:07,881 Yeah. 588 00:32:07,883 --> 00:32:09,587 Obviously I am, too. 589 00:32:09,589 --> 00:32:14,775 Why else would I be hanging out with a 26-year-old actor in Malibu? 590 00:32:14,777 --> 00:32:16,741 I love Malibu. 591 00:32:16,743 --> 00:32:19,446 Tell us about the sex. With the actor. 592 00:32:19,448 --> 00:32:22,514 No, you do not get to ask questions about sex. 593 00:32:22,516 --> 00:32:23,769 Why not? 594 00:32:23,771 --> 00:32:26,108 Because you're not willing to reveal anything about yourself. 595 00:32:26,110 --> 00:32:28,958 I will tell you anything you want to know about my sex life. 596 00:32:28,960 --> 00:32:33,053 Yeah. You and Ryan have good sex. We know. 597 00:32:33,055 --> 00:32:36,053 I'm saying you won't talk about other guys, ever. 598 00:32:36,055 --> 00:32:39,186 Like, you won't even admit it if somebody else is hot. 599 00:32:39,188 --> 00:32:41,249 It's as if that's cheating on Ryan. 600 00:32:41,251 --> 00:32:42,224 I know it's not cheating. 601 00:32:42,226 --> 00:32:43,526 Of course it's not! 602 00:32:43,528 --> 00:32:45,831 But, it's a little bit of a betrayal. 603 00:32:45,871 --> 00:32:48,309 How is it a betrayal?! 604 00:32:48,349 --> 00:32:52,229 Obviously, George Clooney was hot in "The American." 605 00:32:52,231 --> 00:32:57,241 Okay? And it probably wouldn't be unpleasant to have sex with him. 606 00:32:57,243 --> 00:32:59,849 Everybody knows that, including Ryan. 607 00:32:59,851 --> 00:33:04,067 So, I just don't think it's a big deal to acknowledge what everybody else knows to be true. 608 00:33:04,069 --> 00:33:05,897 Was that good, "The American"? We didn't see that one. 609 00:33:05,899 --> 00:33:08,804 How does Josh write movies when he's never seen one? 610 00:33:08,806 --> 00:33:11,233 We see movies all the time. 611 00:33:11,235 --> 00:33:14,013 But you just studiously avoid the good ones? 612 00:33:14,015 --> 00:33:18,702 Just because we don't see the kind of movies you see... you're a snob, Bree. 613 00:33:18,922 --> 00:33:21,713 Am I? Or are you people just disappointing? 614 00:33:21,715 --> 00:33:23,091 Jon Stewart. 615 00:33:23,093 --> 00:33:24,283 He's great. 616 00:33:24,285 --> 00:33:26,549 Yeah, I know he's great but do you ever think it'd be fun to have sex with him? 617 00:33:26,551 --> 00:33:28,389 Michelle. 618 00:33:28,391 --> 00:33:29,440 Jason Bateman! 619 00:33:29,442 --> 00:33:32,570 No, stop, I'm going to break her. 620 00:33:34,010 --> 00:33:40,534 Matt Damon. In "The Bourne Identity." When he's washing Franke Potente's hair. 621 00:33:40,536 --> 00:33:42,307 She's cute! 622 00:33:43,387 --> 00:33:48,893 He can kill anyone with his bare hands. But he's a good person, and he barely ever speaks... 623 00:33:48,895 --> 00:33:53,913 which is so hot. And when he does, he says the perfect thing. 624 00:33:54,103 --> 00:33:56,731 He's got very good dialogue. 625 00:33:56,733 --> 00:33:58,524 Tony Gilroy wrote it. 626 00:33:58,526 --> 00:34:01,572 No, don't do that. This is not a discussion of the script, 'kay. 627 00:34:01,574 --> 00:34:06,009 I'm saying, Matt Damon in all the Bourne movies is hot as hell... 628 00:34:06,011 --> 00:34:07,986 and you know you've thought about having sex with him... 629 00:34:07,988 --> 00:34:10,176 and I demand that you admit it! 630 00:34:11,436 --> 00:34:13,256 C'mon, just admit it! 631 00:34:13,258 --> 00:34:16,378 I will happily admit that I want to have sex with other guys. 632 00:34:16,380 --> 00:34:20,090 Every person in a relationship wants to have sex with other people. 633 00:34:20,092 --> 00:34:23,132 So what! Who cares? It's human nature! 634 00:34:23,134 --> 00:34:27,484 I think we can assume she finds other guys attractive. 635 00:34:28,094 --> 00:34:30,709 I'll reveal something personal. 636 00:34:30,849 --> 00:34:34,560 When Ryan and I have sex, I can't look into his eyes. 637 00:34:34,620 --> 00:34:38,171 At least not for more than a couple of seconds. 638 00:34:38,451 --> 00:34:41,883 It's like it's too intimate or something. 639 00:34:46,973 --> 00:34:49,098 Let's get donuts. 640 00:34:49,100 --> 00:34:52,291 Just put off getting married for as long as you can, that's all we're saying. 641 00:34:52,293 --> 00:34:55,361 Well, no, get married whenever you want, just, you know, choose wisely. 642 00:34:55,363 --> 00:34:58,499 Oh, no shit. Choose as if your life depended on it. 643 00:34:58,501 --> 00:35:00,699 You're not thinking about that now, right? 644 00:35:00,701 --> 00:35:01,869 Marriage? 645 00:35:01,871 --> 00:35:04,447 No. No. You know, I'm... 646 00:35:05,137 --> 00:35:06,923 Twenty-six. 647 00:35:07,393 --> 00:35:08,989 This fucking guy, huh? 648 00:35:08,991 --> 00:35:10,131 Oh, I know, right? 649 00:35:10,133 --> 00:35:12,011 I would kill to be 26 again. 650 00:35:12,013 --> 00:35:15,753 I wouldn't screw it up this time. I'd show everybody how it's done. 651 00:35:16,603 --> 00:35:18,032 What is that dance? 652 00:35:18,034 --> 00:35:19,570 It's the 'how you do it' dance. 653 00:35:20,508 --> 00:35:22,496 Did you get your medicine today, or no? 654 00:35:28,512 --> 00:35:31,519 Look at all these cool people. 655 00:35:31,639 --> 00:35:38,338 I never meet anyone. I'm always cooped up in that stupid house or running errands. 656 00:35:38,340 --> 00:35:40,185 Your house is awesome. 657 00:35:40,465 --> 00:35:42,400 You should be grateful. 658 00:35:42,640 --> 00:35:44,940 I know. You're right. 659 00:35:44,942 --> 00:35:46,664 We're all really blessed. 660 00:35:46,894 --> 00:35:51,156 I know. We are really, really fortunate. 661 00:35:52,876 --> 00:35:55,053 You see that guy? 662 00:35:55,083 --> 00:35:56,478 Yeah. 663 00:35:56,488 --> 00:35:57,776 I'd fuck him. 664 00:35:58,116 --> 00:35:59,260 Really? 665 00:35:59,262 --> 00:36:00,654 Yep. 666 00:36:00,944 --> 00:36:03,260 You know who I think is hot? 667 00:36:03,680 --> 00:36:04,904 Brad. 668 00:36:04,906 --> 00:36:06,002 I know. 669 00:36:07,217 --> 00:36:11,670 Ginger is so lucky. I mean, she's not lucky, she's getting a divorce, but... 670 00:36:11,930 --> 00:36:15,727 Ah... Chris is so good-looking... 671 00:36:15,729 --> 00:36:18,158 and now she gets to have sex with Brad. 672 00:36:18,308 --> 00:36:21,887 Do you ever wish you could just put your marriage on hold for a little while? 673 00:36:21,889 --> 00:36:27,070 Be single again, you know, just for a little bit, then go back to being married. 674 00:36:27,150 --> 00:36:29,800 Probably nobody would go back. 675 00:36:29,802 --> 00:36:35,669 I just miss feeling excited, about anything, you know? 676 00:36:35,671 --> 00:36:40,898 When you meet somebody new, it's so exciting, those feelings. 677 00:36:40,900 --> 00:36:42,904 It's like when you were in high school... 678 00:36:42,906 --> 00:36:44,915 and you would be going to a party... 679 00:36:44,917 --> 00:36:48,746 and you didn't know if a guy that you liked was going to be there but... 680 00:36:48,748 --> 00:36:54,538 ...you just didn't know what was going to happen. Would you get to talk to him, would you get to make out? 681 00:36:54,540 --> 00:36:56,748 We used to play Seven Minutes in Heaven. 682 00:36:56,750 --> 00:37:00,129 We never did that! I'm so bummed! 683 00:37:00,131 --> 00:37:02,202 It was awesome. 684 00:37:09,082 --> 00:37:11,101 Hey, you guys? 685 00:37:11,441 --> 00:37:12,654 Yeah? 686 00:37:12,656 --> 00:37:16,058 I have an idea, but, uh, Bree, you're not gonna approve. 687 00:37:16,060 --> 00:37:17,684 Yeah? 688 00:37:17,686 --> 00:37:21,427 When we get back to the house, let's tell the guys we want to play Seven Minutes in Heaven. 689 00:37:23,389 --> 00:37:25,534 Wait. You mean the game where you go in the... 690 00:37:25,536 --> 00:37:27,144 Yes! 691 00:37:27,374 --> 00:37:29,017 Okay. 692 00:37:29,127 --> 00:37:30,170 Yes! 693 00:37:30,650 --> 00:37:31,947 Seriously? 694 00:37:35,077 --> 00:37:36,538 We have an idea. 695 00:37:36,540 --> 00:37:38,025 It's kind of unorthodox. 696 00:37:38,027 --> 00:37:39,749 Unorthodox. Where'd you get that? 697 00:37:39,751 --> 00:37:41,228 What do you mean? 698 00:37:41,230 --> 00:37:42,895 I've never heard you use that word before. 699 00:37:42,897 --> 00:37:46,107 I read books, Josh! More than you do, and you're a writer! 700 00:37:46,627 --> 00:37:49,661 We want to play Seven Minutes in Heaven. 701 00:37:50,021 --> 00:37:51,237 What's that? 702 00:37:51,239 --> 00:37:52,174 Isn't that the thing where you... 703 00:37:52,176 --> 00:37:55,031 It's a game where two people go in a closet and make out for seven minutes. 704 00:37:55,033 --> 00:37:58,588 Okay, but... I can make out with you anytime I want to, 705 00:37:58,590 --> 00:38:00,486 and I don't have to go in a closet 706 00:38:00,488 --> 00:38:03,136 and I don't have to do it for the full seven minutes. 707 00:38:04,605 --> 00:38:10,195 I'm not talking about spouses with spouses. We're talking about random pairings. 708 00:38:11,585 --> 00:38:13,595 What the hell are you talking about? 709 00:38:13,835 --> 00:38:16,992 Seven Minutes in Heaven! 710 00:38:17,412 --> 00:38:19,449 You wanna play this game? 711 00:38:19,919 --> 00:38:21,656 Seven Minutes in the Closet? 712 00:38:22,236 --> 00:38:23,402 Seven Minutes in Heaven. 713 00:38:23,404 --> 00:38:24,572 Whatever. 714 00:38:24,574 --> 00:38:26,327 No. Do you? 715 00:38:26,329 --> 00:38:28,562 No. Hell no. These people are nuts. 716 00:38:28,564 --> 00:38:31,618 I know, I know. Apparently we're boring. 717 00:38:33,048 --> 00:38:34,483 You wanna play?! 718 00:38:34,485 --> 00:38:36,295 No! Do you?! 719 00:38:36,297 --> 00:38:37,904 No! 720 00:38:38,744 --> 00:38:42,880 Michelle thinks we're fearful and naive. We're not adventurous. 721 00:38:42,882 --> 00:38:46,306 Being adventurous is, like, riding a motorcycle across South America... 722 00:38:46,308 --> 00:38:48,535 that's adventurous. 723 00:38:48,695 --> 00:38:52,022 Letting another guy make out with your wife... that's stupid. 724 00:38:52,322 --> 00:38:53,510 Wikipedia. 725 00:38:56,490 --> 00:39:01,029 Seven Minutes in Heaven is a kissing game first played by teenagers 726 00:39:01,031 --> 00:39:03,210 in Cincinnati in the early 1950s. 727 00:39:03,212 --> 00:39:07,111 See? Midwesterners know how to party because their winters are so long. 728 00:39:08,529 --> 00:39:12,607 Two people selected go into a closet or another dark enclosed space... 729 00:39:12,609 --> 00:39:15,137 and do whatever they like for seven minutes. 730 00:39:15,139 --> 00:39:16,657 Mm-hm. 731 00:39:16,659 --> 00:39:18,309 This is what you wanna do? 732 00:39:18,459 --> 00:39:19,766 Yeah. 733 00:39:19,768 --> 00:39:21,576 So, are you guys in? 734 00:39:22,046 --> 00:39:24,325 No./Okay./No./Yes. 735 00:39:24,455 --> 00:39:26,421 Okay./No./Okay./No. 736 00:39:30,171 --> 00:39:33,668 If we did this, you'd regret it and you'd be jealous... 737 00:39:33,670 --> 00:39:36,729 and I'd hear about it til the day I die. 738 00:39:36,799 --> 00:39:38,969 Don't flatter yourself. 739 00:39:39,859 --> 00:39:42,072 O-kay. Okay. 740 00:39:42,102 --> 00:39:45,165 I'm in. What about you two? Are you in? 741 00:39:45,325 --> 00:39:45,947 No. 742 00:39:45,949 --> 00:39:46,871 No. 743 00:39:46,873 --> 00:39:50,009 C'mon. Either we all do it or none of us plays. 744 00:39:50,011 --> 00:39:51,070 We're not gonna play. 745 00:39:51,072 --> 00:39:52,266 We're not going to play. 746 00:39:52,268 --> 00:39:54,028 Unh... 747 00:39:54,168 --> 00:39:55,817 So, should we still play? 748 00:39:55,819 --> 00:39:56,788 Yeah. 749 00:39:56,790 --> 00:39:58,681 Yeah. 750 00:39:58,683 --> 00:40:00,945 Can I talk to you for a second? 751 00:40:00,947 --> 00:40:02,693 O-kay. 752 00:40:03,153 --> 00:40:04,770 You're in trouble. 753 00:40:16,550 --> 00:40:18,484 Look at that view. 754 00:40:21,554 --> 00:40:23,122 I want a pool. 755 00:40:23,124 --> 00:40:24,603 Are you crazy? 756 00:40:24,605 --> 00:40:28,066 I just wanna do something different. Unpredictable. 757 00:40:28,068 --> 00:40:30,132 Every day I wake up and I do the exact same thing. 758 00:40:30,134 --> 00:40:33,638 I try to get some writing done but mostly I just change diapers... 759 00:40:33,640 --> 00:40:38,321 and clean up after the kids and straighten up the house and feed the kids... 760 00:40:38,323 --> 00:40:41,756 and read 'em a bedtime story and then spend hours trying to put Chloe to sleep... 761 00:40:41,758 --> 00:40:46,551 and then I wake up the next day and do the exact same thing except maybe I go to Target. 762 00:40:46,553 --> 00:40:51,517 If I seriously stopped to think about what my life has become, I would freak out. 763 00:40:51,519 --> 00:40:52,919 You wanted kids. 764 00:40:52,921 --> 00:40:57,109 Dave, I love Emma and Chloe. They're the best thing that ever happened to me... 765 00:40:57,111 --> 00:41:00,357 Stop saying that. Obviously you don't really feel that way. 766 00:41:01,197 --> 00:41:05,146 If you think for a second that I don't adore them, then you're crazy. 767 00:41:05,148 --> 00:41:07,427 Why else would I do everything for them? 768 00:41:07,429 --> 00:41:09,662 Then why can't you do everything for them happily? 769 00:41:09,664 --> 00:41:12,582 You have to complain about it every step of the way. 770 00:41:12,584 --> 00:41:15,492 Why can't you be one of those women that's, just, you know, happy? 771 00:41:15,494 --> 00:41:16,783 Because it's hard! 772 00:41:16,785 --> 00:41:19,972 No, it isn't. You just decide you're going to be happy and then you do it! 773 00:41:19,974 --> 00:41:23,231 You know? Sometimes a person just has to have self-control. 774 00:41:23,233 --> 00:41:26,050 It's not like you're Mr. Sunshine, walking around all cheerful. 775 00:41:26,052 --> 00:41:28,615 Because my wife is always dissatisfied. 776 00:41:28,617 --> 00:41:31,402 It's human nature to want more. 777 00:41:34,402 --> 00:41:38,352 I'm not sexist, you know I'm not, but I think this is a gender thing. 778 00:41:38,354 --> 00:41:41,146 Women always want more. 779 00:41:41,966 --> 00:41:44,810 Well, I can think of one thing men always want more of. 780 00:41:45,200 --> 00:41:46,446 Sex. 781 00:41:46,448 --> 00:41:48,030 And now here's your chance. 782 00:41:48,032 --> 00:41:49,780 What, we're gonna have sex with these people? 783 00:41:49,782 --> 00:41:51,012 It's a kissing game. 784 00:41:51,122 --> 00:41:53,106 Why can't we play Cranium? 785 00:41:53,108 --> 00:41:55,880 Dave. This is your chance to make out with someone. 786 00:41:55,882 --> 00:41:58,110 It's YOUR chance to make out with someone. 787 00:41:58,112 --> 00:41:59,628 What do you care?! 788 00:41:59,630 --> 00:42:02,496 I walk around with food in my teeth and you don't even tell me... 789 00:42:02,498 --> 00:42:05,944 because you don't notice because you don't even look at me! 790 00:42:05,946 --> 00:42:09,864 Remember when I got my hair cut and you didn't notice but you noticed when you got the credit card bill? 791 00:42:09,866 --> 00:42:11,589 Because it was two hundred dollars! 792 00:42:11,591 --> 00:42:12,790 I know! 793 00:42:16,000 --> 00:42:17,627 I think we have problems. 794 00:42:17,629 --> 00:42:19,705 Everybody has problems. 795 00:42:19,707 --> 00:42:21,606 Ryan and Bree are happy. 796 00:42:21,806 --> 00:42:23,282 They don't have kids. 797 00:42:23,332 --> 00:42:24,762 You wanted kids! 798 00:42:24,764 --> 00:42:27,591 I'm just saying their life is one continuous round of pleasure... 799 00:42:27,593 --> 00:42:32,049 restaurants, movies, reading every issue of the New Yorker from cover to cover. 800 00:42:32,469 --> 00:42:36,115 It's actually a pretty selfish existence. 801 00:42:37,135 --> 00:42:39,120 We had problems before we had kids. 802 00:42:39,122 --> 00:42:40,401 No. 803 00:42:44,751 --> 00:42:47,025 Yeah. Well. 804 00:42:54,635 --> 00:42:56,989 If you don't want to play Seven Minutes in Heaven, we won't. 805 00:42:57,059 --> 00:42:59,781 God, that name... it's so corny. 806 00:43:00,921 --> 00:43:03,131 Of course Ryan and Bree aren't playing. 807 00:43:03,133 --> 00:43:04,468 So? 808 00:43:04,718 --> 00:43:06,913 Everybody else is game. 809 00:43:15,153 --> 00:43:16,990 Right. 810 00:43:22,559 --> 00:43:24,659 Well? Are you in? 811 00:43:24,889 --> 00:43:26,239 She wants to, so... 812 00:43:26,529 --> 00:43:27,822 Fun! 813 00:43:28,022 --> 00:43:33,418 Alright, my lawyer says it'll be valid because we'd all be witnesses to each other's signatures. 814 00:43:34,238 --> 00:43:35,616 What? 815 00:43:35,846 --> 00:43:39,821 I printed a limited liability agreement from the Net. 816 00:43:39,823 --> 00:43:42,499 It's a boilerplate agreement, so I had to add some wording... 817 00:43:42,501 --> 00:43:46,337 but basically we're agreeing to not talk about the game after tonight. 818 00:43:46,339 --> 00:43:50,027 So that, you know, no one fights about it afterward. 819 00:43:50,029 --> 00:43:52,520 And we can't discuss it publicly, either. 820 00:43:52,522 --> 00:43:55,658 Well, good. Because I don't want anybody thinking we're swingers. 821 00:43:55,660 --> 00:43:59,011 Yeah. It could have a negative effect on my career. 822 00:43:59,171 --> 00:44:02,222 Well, all of our careers. We all have careers, so... 823 00:44:02,452 --> 00:44:05,352 Of course. Well, everyone except for Lisa. 824 00:44:05,354 --> 00:44:08,353 I work. I run this household. 825 00:44:08,355 --> 00:44:13,540 If by 'run this household' you mean calling the maid and ordering take-out. 826 00:44:13,970 --> 00:44:16,321 Don't talk to me like that. 827 00:44:17,101 --> 00:44:21,937 Lisa, c'mon. It's not like you're actually doing all the work yourself... 828 00:44:21,939 --> 00:44:24,695 cleaning the house, the pool, doing the landscaping. 829 00:44:24,697 --> 00:44:32,363 I coordinate everything. I pay the bills and run the errands, so that you can work 24/7. I make your life possible. 830 00:44:32,365 --> 00:44:36,012 Oh, wow, like that's a privilege. I get to work 24/7. 831 00:44:36,014 --> 00:44:37,870 You love working. 832 00:44:38,430 --> 00:44:43,290 I have to go to the well while I can. This could all change overnight. 833 00:44:43,980 --> 00:44:49,650 Yeah, I'm the hot writer now. But that can't last forever, right? 834 00:44:55,660 --> 00:44:58,340 Okay. Yes. I love to work. 835 00:45:00,100 --> 00:45:04,780 I'm sorry. You're right. You make my life possible. 836 00:45:05,920 --> 00:45:08,038 Thank you. 837 00:45:12,188 --> 00:45:14,206 Which closet are we going to use? 838 00:45:16,378 --> 00:45:18,760 Where does this even go? 839 00:45:29,190 --> 00:45:30,802 Ahhh! 840 00:45:31,382 --> 00:45:33,325 I'll be the deejay. 841 00:45:34,085 --> 00:45:36,243 Bryan Ferry. 842 00:45:36,283 --> 00:45:38,301 Too obvious? 843 00:45:39,241 --> 00:45:41,289 Who would you want to be matched with? 844 00:45:41,291 --> 00:45:42,206 What do you mean? 845 00:45:42,208 --> 00:45:43,467 If we played. 846 00:45:45,217 --> 00:45:46,404 You want to play. 847 00:45:46,406 --> 00:45:48,986 Nah, I'm just saying, if we did, who would you want to be paired with? 848 00:45:48,988 --> 00:45:51,610 No one. Who would you want to be paired with? 849 00:45:51,612 --> 00:45:52,706 No one. 850 00:45:52,708 --> 00:45:57,605 Why'd you ask me that? Obviously you've thought about who you'd want to be paired with. 851 00:45:57,607 --> 00:46:00,330 No, I was thinking that maybe it was on your mind. 852 00:46:00,610 --> 00:46:02,690 Well, if we're going to argue, then we might as well play. 853 00:46:02,890 --> 00:46:04,357 You wanna play. 854 00:46:04,647 --> 00:46:07,804 No. Do you? 855 00:46:07,806 --> 00:46:10,091 No. 856 00:46:27,517 --> 00:46:31,221 I don't know. Bad feng shui. 857 00:46:32,248 --> 00:46:34,797 I know you find Lisa attractive. 858 00:46:34,917 --> 00:46:35,895 No... 859 00:46:35,897 --> 00:46:37,907 Maybe not her face, but her breasts. 860 00:46:37,909 --> 00:46:39,838 No, I don't. 861 00:46:40,198 --> 00:46:41,288 Liar. 862 00:46:41,290 --> 00:46:42,189 Bree, I mean... 863 00:46:42,191 --> 00:46:45,920 No, look, look... you have to lie. I mean, you have no choice. 864 00:46:45,990 --> 00:46:49,141 What're you going to say, 'Yeah, she's got great tits'? 865 00:46:49,143 --> 00:46:52,874 You can't say that. So, you lie. To keep the peace. 866 00:46:52,876 --> 00:46:56,849 See? Everything's based on a foundation of bullshit. 867 00:46:57,689 --> 00:47:00,293 That's so depressing. 868 00:47:00,295 --> 00:47:02,969 We should just be honest. 869 00:47:02,971 --> 00:47:06,697 Okay. You first. 870 00:47:07,187 --> 00:47:08,944 Okay. 871 00:47:12,104 --> 00:47:17,232 Yes. Lisa has nice breasts. But you know they're gonna sag. 872 00:47:17,492 --> 00:47:20,368 And yours are gonna stay nice and perfect-looking. 873 00:47:20,370 --> 00:47:22,476 Yeah, because they're smaller. 874 00:47:22,478 --> 00:47:25,619 Hers are huge. 875 00:47:28,499 --> 00:47:31,801 Okay? Now you say something honest. 876 00:47:31,861 --> 00:47:36,557 Be honest about something. 877 00:47:36,559 --> 00:47:43,130 Alright, this is not a big deal. I mean, it's silly, because he's famous and unattainable, but... 878 00:47:43,680 --> 00:47:46,721 I find Matt Damon attractive. 879 00:47:47,961 --> 00:47:49,762 Matt Damon? 880 00:47:49,764 --> 00:47:52,300 He's not unattainable. You could totally get him. 881 00:47:52,302 --> 00:47:55,880 Ryan, he's married. And his wife seems really lovely. 882 00:47:55,882 --> 00:48:02,042 Why do people use that word, 'lovely'? It's so pretentious. Like, what are we, British or something? Huh? 883 00:48:02,044 --> 00:48:05,054 I guarantee if Matt Damon met you, he'd be attracted to you. 884 00:48:05,056 --> 00:48:10,858 No, he wouldn't, okay? And that's part of why I like him, you know? I feel like he's a nice guy. He's got integrity. 885 00:48:10,860 --> 00:48:14,524 Oh, boy, you've really thought a lot about this, haven't you, huh? 886 00:48:14,526 --> 00:48:17,425 Matt Damon? I mean, he's not even funny. 887 00:48:17,427 --> 00:48:19,580 Yeah, remember when he was on "Will and Grace"? 888 00:48:19,582 --> 00:48:25,123 You fucking remember that? I mean, you've really been into him for a while, haven't you? 889 00:48:25,125 --> 00:48:29,084 I'm not going to argue with you about this. If we're going to argue, then let's go play Seven Minutes in Heaven. 890 00:48:29,086 --> 00:48:30,857 If you want to fucking play, then let's fucking play! 891 00:48:30,947 --> 00:48:32,598 I don't want to play! 892 00:48:32,600 --> 00:48:34,972 Of course you don't wanna play. Not with these slobs. 893 00:48:34,974 --> 00:48:38,406 They're no temptation to you. Not when you're obsessed with Matt Damon. 894 00:48:38,408 --> 00:48:39,540 Oh my God. 895 00:48:39,542 --> 00:48:42,388 I mean, I don't know how I'm going to find time to get washboard abs... 896 00:48:42,390 --> 00:48:46,476 when I'm busy trying to work my ass off, to build a comedy career. 897 00:48:46,478 --> 00:48:49,792 I mean, who knows what will happen, when you run into Damon... 898 00:48:49,794 --> 00:48:55,738 while I'm out, flying all over creation, performing in clubs, to try to pay for our fucking house! 899 00:48:55,740 --> 00:48:59,534 This is insane. I'm not going to leave you for Matt Damon. 900 00:48:59,536 --> 00:49:08,317 You think he'd be faithful to you? Huh? A fucking actor? They fall in and out of love like kids at summer camp, huh? 901 00:49:08,319 --> 00:49:13,322 Ya really think he's gonna be into you, when you get old and your breasts sag? 902 00:49:19,322 --> 00:49:21,018 What do you think? 903 00:49:21,278 --> 00:49:23,425 This is perfect. 904 00:49:27,285 --> 00:49:29,795 So, we can use these to draw names. 905 00:49:29,797 --> 00:49:34,045 Oh, here, I'll do it. So, Ryan thinks you have nice breasts. 906 00:49:37,305 --> 00:49:39,145 Thanks. 907 00:49:39,615 --> 00:49:41,717 No problem. 908 00:49:43,869 --> 00:49:46,284 Real original. 909 00:49:54,744 --> 00:49:56,668 Well, here we go. 910 00:49:58,468 --> 00:50:00,437 Okay, you guys ready to play? 911 00:50:00,439 --> 00:50:02,589 I didn't know married people did stuff like this. 912 00:50:02,591 --> 00:50:03,836 They don't. 913 00:50:03,838 --> 00:50:06,558 You don't know that. We don't know what other married people do. 914 00:50:06,560 --> 00:50:10,393 Well, we're short one girl. So, someone's gonna have to go twice. 915 00:50:10,663 --> 00:50:14,457 Me. If you have two kids, you go twice. 916 00:50:16,188 --> 00:50:18,712 No one picks their own spouse. 917 00:50:18,714 --> 00:50:20,816 There's gotta be a more efficient way to do this, like a mathematical way. 918 00:50:20,818 --> 00:50:24,339 Too bad we're all writers, we'll never find out. 919 00:50:29,679 --> 00:50:31,107 Lisa. 920 00:50:31,109 --> 00:50:33,225 Ooooh. 921 00:50:35,895 --> 00:50:37,749 That's your wife. 922 00:50:37,751 --> 00:50:39,398 Yeah, please. Fill 'er up. 923 00:50:39,400 --> 00:50:40,929 Can I get a drink? 924 00:50:40,931 --> 00:50:43,279 Have fun. 925 00:50:46,829 --> 00:50:48,718 I love how you're smiling. 926 00:50:48,720 --> 00:50:50,207 I don't care. 927 00:50:50,209 --> 00:50:51,672 You don't care? 928 00:50:51,674 --> 00:50:53,270 I don't. 929 00:51:03,660 --> 00:51:06,381 Think this is a test? Like, they're testing us? 930 00:51:06,383 --> 00:51:09,807 Here, we're going first, 'cause they wanna see if we're actually gonna do something. 931 00:51:09,809 --> 00:51:11,413 Then they'll just, like, crucify us. 932 00:51:11,415 --> 00:51:13,931 No. Mm-mm. 933 00:51:15,231 --> 00:51:17,149 This wood paneling is nice. 934 00:51:17,151 --> 00:51:21,272 Yeah, I know. It's original, it's from the '50s. 935 00:51:21,482 --> 00:51:24,694 Josh wanted to redo it, because he likes everything so perfect. 936 00:51:24,696 --> 00:51:28,028 He prides himself on being a perfectionist. 937 00:51:28,030 --> 00:51:32,481 You know what's funny? My mom is a human resources manager for a hospital... 938 00:51:32,483 --> 00:51:36,325 So, she's a real student of human nature... do I sound like a geek? 939 00:51:36,327 --> 00:51:37,729 No. No. 940 00:51:38,139 --> 00:51:42,490 Anyway. So. When she interviews someone, and they say that they're a perfectionist, 941 00:51:42,492 --> 00:51:47,376 she doesn't buy it. She says true perfectionists are so demanding of themselves... 942 00:51:47,378 --> 00:51:50,542 they don't think of themselves as anywhere near perfect. 943 00:51:50,544 --> 00:51:55,118 They think that everything they do is so far from perfection that they couldn't possibly be a perfectionist. 944 00:51:55,120 --> 00:51:56,485 I love that. 945 00:51:56,487 --> 00:51:59,136 So. I don't think Josh is a perfectionist. 946 00:51:59,138 --> 00:52:01,637 You ever read his scripts, when he finishes them? 947 00:52:01,639 --> 00:52:02,879 Always. 948 00:52:02,881 --> 00:52:04,778 Do they have any typos? 949 00:52:04,938 --> 00:52:06,279 Tons! 950 00:52:06,281 --> 00:52:08,315 I rest my case. 951 00:52:08,317 --> 00:52:15,858 I sound like an old person. Next thing you know I'll be saying 'gams' instead of legs. 'Look at the gams on her!' 952 00:52:15,860 --> 00:52:17,570 You're so funny. 953 00:52:17,572 --> 00:52:19,019 Really? 954 00:52:19,449 --> 00:52:23,757 Yeah. Michelle doesn't tell you that very often, huh? 955 00:52:23,759 --> 00:52:26,647 It's extremely rare. It's part of her winning formula. 956 00:52:26,649 --> 00:52:30,395 She hardly ever throws you a bone, so when she does, you feel like you're the king of the world. 957 00:52:30,397 --> 00:52:32,645 Omigod, now I'm James Cameron. 958 00:52:33,125 --> 00:52:36,403 He's not such a bad guy. 959 00:52:36,405 --> 00:52:40,080 Josh hardly ever compliments me either. 960 00:52:40,520 --> 00:52:46,288 It's 'cause they're insecure. Really insecure people never give compliments. They can't afford to. 961 00:52:46,290 --> 00:52:48,638 You're right. 962 00:52:49,388 --> 00:52:54,453 You're so smart and funny and... god, Michelle's lucky. 963 00:52:54,455 --> 00:52:57,792 You're such a man, you know? You're such a... guy. 964 00:52:58,522 --> 00:53:03,004 Oh my god, it feels so good to get compliments from a beautiful girl. 965 00:53:03,006 --> 00:53:06,738 I wish beautiful girls would give me compliments all the time, you know? 966 00:53:06,740 --> 00:53:08,772 Is it wrong to want that? 967 00:53:08,774 --> 00:53:10,099 No. 968 00:53:11,989 --> 00:53:13,879 You think I'm beautiful? 969 00:53:15,379 --> 00:53:16,863 Of course. 970 00:53:21,423 --> 00:53:23,876 Should we make out? 971 00:53:24,096 --> 00:53:28,010 Maybe. I don't know if this whole marriage thing is going to work out, so... 972 00:53:28,040 --> 00:53:30,188 I'll probably give it a go. 973 00:53:32,628 --> 00:53:34,439 You're really funny. 974 00:53:34,441 --> 00:53:38,774 Keep saying that and I will leave her. I'm serious. I will do it. Right now. 975 00:53:38,776 --> 00:53:41,546 You're so funny. 976 00:54:00,236 --> 00:54:03,706 "Time's up! Time's up!" 977 00:54:03,796 --> 00:54:06,517 Omigod, why did we waste time talking? 978 00:54:13,407 --> 00:54:18,483 "Time's up!!!" 979 00:54:19,941 --> 00:54:23,268 This, uh, contract is not going to prevent arguments. 980 00:54:23,270 --> 00:54:24,745 I know. 981 00:54:24,747 --> 00:54:26,432 Do I have any lipstick on me? 982 00:54:26,434 --> 00:54:27,384 You're good. 983 00:54:27,386 --> 00:54:28,709 Thank you. 984 00:54:28,711 --> 00:54:30,571 Time's up! 985 00:54:38,191 --> 00:54:39,316 What? 986 00:54:40,456 --> 00:54:42,282 Did you do anything? 987 00:54:45,212 --> 00:54:47,192 Tsk. You didn't do anything. 988 00:54:47,194 --> 00:54:50,444 I thought we weren't discussing it. We signed the contract. 989 00:54:52,604 --> 00:54:54,533 You didn't do anything? 990 00:54:54,535 --> 00:54:57,009 We signed the contract. 991 00:54:57,011 --> 00:54:59,732 Okay. We're honoring the contract. 992 00:55:06,362 --> 00:55:07,451 Ginger. 993 00:55:08,061 --> 00:55:09,313 Oh, boy. 994 00:55:09,793 --> 00:55:11,549 Okaay. 995 00:55:12,619 --> 00:55:15,531 Alrighty, sir... 996 00:55:15,533 --> 00:55:16,945 M'lady... 997 00:55:16,947 --> 00:55:18,273 Don't hurt nobody. 998 00:55:18,275 --> 00:55:19,833 Excuse me, Brad. 999 00:55:28,613 --> 00:55:30,479 This is a little weird, huh? 1000 00:55:30,481 --> 00:55:31,929 Yeah. 1001 00:55:59,454 --> 00:56:01,468 What's wrong? 1002 00:56:06,538 --> 00:56:10,373 Should I go get someone? One of the girls? Or...? 1003 00:56:11,133 --> 00:56:13,729 Is this about Chris? 1004 00:56:17,429 --> 00:56:19,498 It's everything. 1005 00:56:26,318 --> 00:56:30,610 Aw, I'm sorry. I'm ruining this for you. 1006 00:56:30,612 --> 00:56:33,408 No, no, please. 1007 00:56:33,410 --> 00:56:37,409 Don't you like, uh, Brad? He seems okay. 1008 00:56:37,411 --> 00:56:41,808 Yeah. Yeah. He's... he's just young. 1009 00:56:43,521 --> 00:56:45,941 We're always talking about his hopes and dreams. 1010 00:56:45,943 --> 00:56:47,810 Oh, God... 1011 00:56:48,520 --> 00:56:50,978 Yeah. It's depressing. 1012 00:56:50,980 --> 00:56:54,686 Ahh, I just can't go through all this again. 1013 00:56:55,346 --> 00:57:00,602 I mean, he thinks that he loves me. But we would never last. 1014 00:57:01,882 --> 00:57:05,954 Even if I allowed myself to fall in love with him... which I could... 1015 00:57:06,304 --> 00:57:12,978 Eventually he'd leave me for someone young. Younger. 1016 00:57:14,098 --> 00:57:15,912 Like Chris did. 1017 00:57:16,042 --> 00:57:21,388 He's crazy. He was so stupid to cheat on you. 1018 00:57:24,408 --> 00:57:26,680 You smell amazing. 1019 00:57:27,900 --> 00:57:32,146 Thank you. It's Jo Malone 154. 1020 00:57:32,656 --> 00:57:35,950 Lisa owns every perfume but that. 1021 00:57:36,870 --> 00:57:39,186 Why don't you buy it for her? 1022 00:57:43,026 --> 00:57:49,269 There's something about a person who gets themselves everything that they want... 1023 00:57:49,759 --> 00:57:54,792 It makes you not want to get them stuff. 1024 00:57:57,012 --> 00:57:59,655 That sounds bad, doesn't it? I sound like a jerk. 1025 00:57:59,657 --> 00:58:00,874 No, no. 1026 00:58:00,876 --> 00:58:02,227 Yeah. 1027 00:58:02,229 --> 00:58:04,439 No. But maybe you need to talk to someone about it. 1028 00:58:04,441 --> 00:58:08,459 What do you mean, a therapist? I can't afford that. 1029 00:58:08,461 --> 00:58:10,107 Ga, Josh. 1030 00:58:10,109 --> 00:58:14,625 You have a $2.5-million-dollar house, what're you talking about? 1031 00:58:14,627 --> 00:58:18,366 Yeah, that's exactly what I'm talking about... I can't afford that. 1032 00:58:23,266 --> 00:58:26,510 Time's up!! 1033 00:58:31,310 --> 00:58:32,625 Where's Ginger? 1034 00:58:32,627 --> 00:58:34,458 She went to the bathroom. 1035 00:58:49,335 --> 00:58:52,175 Michelle. 1036 00:58:58,935 --> 00:59:00,300 I'm so glad I got you. 1037 00:59:00,302 --> 00:59:01,516 Really? 1038 00:59:01,518 --> 00:59:02,817 Yeah. 1039 00:59:03,527 --> 00:59:05,517 Um, I need to ask you something. 1040 00:59:05,727 --> 00:59:07,646 Yeah, we can do more than just kiss. 1041 00:59:07,648 --> 00:59:12,250 No, no, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. No, it's about Ginger. 1042 00:59:13,660 --> 00:59:14,876 O-kay. 1043 00:59:15,766 --> 00:59:18,869 Do you think she would reconcile? 1044 00:59:19,629 --> 00:59:21,577 You wanna get back together? 1045 00:59:21,579 --> 00:59:24,067 Yeah. I have to get her back. 1046 00:59:25,347 --> 00:59:27,051 I don't know... 1047 00:59:27,071 --> 00:59:28,619 You must have some idea. 1048 00:59:28,621 --> 00:59:30,518 No, really, I don't. 1049 00:59:31,258 --> 00:59:33,655 I don't know if she'd go back. 1050 00:59:34,555 --> 00:59:36,494 You know, when she turns a corner... 1051 00:59:36,504 --> 00:59:39,028 I know. I know. 1052 00:59:39,838 --> 00:59:44,894 In college, she used to cry over a guy for a week and then he was dead to her. 1053 00:59:44,924 --> 00:59:47,530 When she's done, she's done, you know? 1054 00:59:47,610 --> 00:59:48,565 Yeah. 1055 00:59:48,567 --> 00:59:50,613 If this is about her looking good, Chris... 1056 00:59:50,615 --> 00:59:53,340 Oh, please, I'm shallow, I'm not ridiculous. 1057 00:59:53,342 --> 00:59:56,478 That's why I came here tonight, to see if she would get back together with me 1058 00:59:56,480 --> 00:59:59,006 And then she shows up with this boy toy. 1059 00:59:59,008 --> 01:00:01,814 You got a hotel room with a 23-year-old actress! 1060 01:00:01,816 --> 01:00:03,471 She was twenty-eight. 1061 01:00:03,931 --> 01:00:06,190 Okay, well on IMDB it's says that she's... 1062 01:00:06,192 --> 01:00:09,896 She's an actress. She lies about her age. 1063 01:00:11,866 --> 01:00:13,642 So, you regret it? 1064 01:00:13,644 --> 01:00:17,347 Oh my god, yes, I regret it. 1065 01:00:17,349 --> 01:00:19,584 If I could take it back, I would. 1066 01:00:21,964 --> 01:00:24,639 But at some point, it was exciting, right? 1067 01:00:25,279 --> 01:00:27,186 For about two minutes. 1068 01:00:27,188 --> 01:00:31,344 But it was, like, great, right? Like, did you, like, feel alive? 1069 01:00:31,346 --> 01:00:36,068 Are you thinking about cheating on Dave? Is that what this is about, our playing this game? 1070 01:00:36,358 --> 01:00:37,797 No, I just... 1071 01:00:38,657 --> 01:00:43,176 I'm so sick of Dave. You know? 1072 01:00:43,916 --> 01:00:48,286 Yeah, I know. And then you get tired of the person you're cheating with. 1073 01:00:48,288 --> 01:00:53,840 And then, I don't know, it just seems like bad form to cheat on the person you're cheating with. 1074 01:00:56,600 --> 01:00:57,860 Yeah. 1075 01:00:57,862 --> 01:01:01,588 And let me tell you something. It's not real great out there. 1076 01:01:01,718 --> 01:01:04,832 What's it like? Dating again? 1077 01:01:04,834 --> 01:01:07,208 It sucks. 1078 01:01:07,822 --> 01:01:13,900 Because all these people have baggage. And you're not exactly eager to find out what it is. 1079 01:01:13,902 --> 01:01:20,123 And I don't know. I don't feel like meeting strangers in restaurants and, you know, 1080 01:01:20,125 --> 01:01:25,198 immediately finding out they're nowhere near as good as Ginger. 1081 01:01:29,728 --> 01:01:32,241 Did I tell you I went to the Oscars this year? 1082 01:01:32,243 --> 01:01:34,693 A friend of mine had an extra ticket so I got to go. 1083 01:01:34,695 --> 01:01:35,876 How was it? 1084 01:01:35,878 --> 01:01:39,648 Within five minutes of being there, you're walking down the red carpet... 1085 01:01:39,650 --> 01:01:43,170 and everybody's ignoring you because you're not a star... 1086 01:01:43,172 --> 01:01:49,295 ...and then you realize, you don't even want to be there if you don't have a movie in the running. 1087 01:01:49,505 --> 01:01:54,964 And at this point in my life, I want to make something great. 1088 01:01:54,966 --> 01:01:59,755 You know? Something that moves people, that makes them feel something. 1089 01:01:59,757 --> 01:02:04,004 And this is going to sound weird, but I can't do it without Ginger. 1090 01:02:05,274 --> 01:02:08,539 I need her. I need her in my corner. 1091 01:02:08,541 --> 01:02:11,660 Time's up!! 1092 01:02:11,900 --> 01:02:13,702 Are you bummed we didn't do anything? 1093 01:02:13,704 --> 01:02:15,375 No, no, it's fine. 1094 01:02:17,015 --> 01:02:19,903 I hope Ginger takes you back. 1095 01:02:19,905 --> 01:02:22,774 Thanks. You're awesome. 1096 01:02:26,954 --> 01:02:31,394 Full sex, right? I'm prepared for anything. 1097 01:02:38,824 --> 01:02:41,906 I'm... I'm sorry. Can I talk to you for a sec? 1098 01:02:41,908 --> 01:02:44,596 Yeah. Yeah. 1099 01:02:57,854 --> 01:02:59,232 How was it? 1100 01:02:59,234 --> 01:03:00,464 What? 1101 01:03:03,214 --> 01:03:05,010 Making out with Josh. 1102 01:03:05,012 --> 01:03:09,632 We didn't make out. We just, we kissed a little. 1103 01:03:09,634 --> 01:03:10,743 Was it good? 1104 01:03:11,603 --> 01:03:15,127 Brad. We just talked. I was upset. 1105 01:03:15,129 --> 01:03:17,286 Why? Why were you upset? 1106 01:03:18,106 --> 01:03:20,431 He cheated on you and he left you. 1107 01:03:20,433 --> 01:03:22,311 I know. 1108 01:03:23,061 --> 01:03:25,581 What do you see in him? 1109 01:03:25,583 --> 01:03:28,863 Okay, yeah, maybe he was good-looking when he was young, but... 1110 01:03:28,865 --> 01:03:30,877 Brad, he and I are the same age. 1111 01:03:30,879 --> 01:03:38,231 Yeah, but you're beautiful and interesting and smart, and he's this Hollywood producer. 1112 01:03:38,233 --> 01:03:42,005 And you took vows. And he slept with someone else. 1113 01:03:42,007 --> 01:03:43,691 Doesn't that bother you? 1114 01:03:43,693 --> 01:03:47,341 Of course. It all bothers me! 1115 01:03:47,343 --> 01:03:51,521 The fact that he cheated, the fact that we're getting a divorce... 1116 01:03:51,523 --> 01:03:56,896 The fact that Oliver's going to have to deal with the effects of this divorce for the rest of his life. 1117 01:03:56,898 --> 01:04:00,211 Stepmothers, and stepfathers, flying back and forth across the country... 1118 01:04:00,213 --> 01:04:04,089 To see one parent while he's missing the one he's not with. 1119 01:04:10,439 --> 01:04:12,255 Brad, what are we doing? 1120 01:04:12,575 --> 01:04:13,833 What do you mean? 1121 01:04:14,133 --> 01:04:16,565 You want me to fall in love with you? 1122 01:04:16,655 --> 01:04:20,017 Yes! Please! That's what I want! 1123 01:04:20,019 --> 01:04:21,682 Okay, then what? 1124 01:04:21,684 --> 01:04:28,947 We... we enjoy life. And... and we have fun together. 1125 01:04:28,949 --> 01:04:30,752 And we have amazing sex. 1126 01:04:30,754 --> 01:04:33,008 How long would that last? 1127 01:04:33,010 --> 01:04:35,059 Ah... 1128 01:04:36,359 --> 01:04:39,751 Even if we lasted a couple of years... if we even made it to spring... 1129 01:04:39,753 --> 01:04:41,528 Of course we'd make it to spring. 1130 01:04:41,530 --> 01:04:46,902 Okay, then what? We get married, and you become Oliver's stepfather? 1131 01:04:46,904 --> 01:04:53,460 You're gonna wanna be with someone young. Someone who's in the same life phase as you. 1132 01:04:53,462 --> 01:04:54,824 Life phase? 1133 01:04:54,826 --> 01:05:01,034 Yeah, life phase. Mine involves my eyesight suddenly going to shit. 1134 01:05:01,036 --> 01:05:05,194 And buying reading glasses at the drugstore, like old people. 1135 01:05:05,196 --> 01:05:09,404 Worrying about how the teen years are going to be. Getting root canals, and... 1136 01:05:09,406 --> 01:05:12,585 It's not all serious. You can have fun. 1137 01:05:12,835 --> 01:05:14,828 Yeah, but... 1138 01:05:14,830 --> 01:05:22,045 I guess at the end of the day, I want to be with someone who is in the same place in life as me. 1139 01:05:30,770 --> 01:05:32,675 I'm ready. 1140 01:05:35,265 --> 01:05:36,932 Lisa. 1141 01:05:45,689 --> 01:05:47,006 Mm! 1142 01:06:25,671 --> 01:06:27,470 Time's up!! 1143 01:06:29,486 --> 01:06:31,076 Time's up! 1144 01:06:33,446 --> 01:06:34,712 Oh, boy. 1145 01:06:34,882 --> 01:06:36,467 Are you kidding me?! 1146 01:06:36,469 --> 01:06:38,246 Hey, thanks for dinner. 1147 01:06:38,846 --> 01:06:40,321 Is he leaving? 1148 01:06:40,323 --> 01:06:41,726 What the hell did you do?! 1149 01:06:41,728 --> 01:06:42,862 Nothing. 1150 01:06:42,864 --> 01:06:44,252 Right. 1151 01:06:45,462 --> 01:06:48,400 We said we were gonna honor the contract! 1152 01:07:08,900 --> 01:07:10,533 You okay? 1153 01:07:24,870 --> 01:07:26,836 Ginger... 1154 01:07:29,646 --> 01:07:31,492 I wanna get back together. 1155 01:07:34,172 --> 01:07:35,719 Are you kidding? 1156 01:07:36,909 --> 01:07:38,364 No. 1157 01:07:40,324 --> 01:07:42,928 I'm sorry, you know, about arguing earlier. 1158 01:07:43,238 --> 01:07:45,552 Yeah, me, too. 1159 01:07:45,772 --> 01:07:47,736 I'm developing a new theory. 1160 01:07:47,926 --> 01:07:49,671 What's your theory? 1161 01:07:51,171 --> 01:07:55,542 The fact that everything is based on these little white lies is a good thing. 1162 01:07:55,544 --> 01:08:01,585 You know? It's people being compassionate toward one another. Protecting each other's feelings. 1163 01:08:01,587 --> 01:08:04,021 Okay. I wanna go with this. Go ahead. 1164 01:08:04,251 --> 01:08:08,088 Like, it's hard enough for me to accept Lisa has nice breasts... 1165 01:08:08,090 --> 01:08:09,310 No, she doesn't... 1166 01:08:09,312 --> 01:08:12,169 But I don't want to hear you say it aloud. You know? 1167 01:08:12,171 --> 01:08:15,655 Better for me to just hope you don't spend too much time thinking about them. 1168 01:08:15,657 --> 01:08:17,434 I don't. 1169 01:08:17,794 --> 01:08:19,105 Right. 1170 01:08:20,145 --> 01:08:27,236 These little white lies, they are the glue that hold relationships together. They hold society together. 1171 01:08:30,756 --> 01:08:34,355 So, uh, what'd you think of my new material? 1172 01:08:34,357 --> 01:08:35,755 I think it's great. 1173 01:08:36,145 --> 01:08:37,379 But what? 1174 01:08:37,381 --> 01:08:39,812 Nothing. I think it's great. 1175 01:08:40,932 --> 01:08:43,444 What specifically did you have a problem with? 1176 01:08:43,764 --> 01:08:48,123 I didn't have a problem with any of it. It's all good. 1177 01:08:48,125 --> 01:08:50,488 But not as good as my best stuff. 1178 01:08:51,488 --> 01:08:52,842 It will be. 1179 01:08:53,302 --> 01:08:55,859 You're going to do your tweaking. You know? 1180 01:08:55,861 --> 01:09:00,340 You're gonna rewrite it, and rewrite it, and it's gonna be on the same level as your other stuff. 1181 01:09:00,820 --> 01:09:04,748 Sounds like I got a lot of rewriting to do, huh? 1182 01:09:04,750 --> 01:09:09,119 I feel like we have not fought this much in a year. 1183 01:09:09,121 --> 01:09:11,807 It's these people. They're a bad influence. 1184 01:09:12,807 --> 01:09:14,951 So, is this because I've lost weight? 1185 01:09:14,953 --> 01:09:16,984 No. Gain it all back, I don't care. 1186 01:09:16,986 --> 01:09:22,048 Oh, you do care! Okay? Men are visually stimulated. 1187 01:09:24,698 --> 01:09:30,298 See, I miss this. I miss our conversations. I miss good conversation. 1188 01:09:30,300 --> 01:09:37,121 I went to every screening of every movie and defended each as if it were my own child. 1189 01:09:37,911 --> 01:09:40,360 The Hallmark movie, Chris? 1190 01:09:40,362 --> 01:09:42,583 You're an angel. 1191 01:09:46,843 --> 01:09:51,240 I used to love to cook for you. I don't know if I could do that now. 1192 01:09:51,670 --> 01:09:53,896 Don't say that! 1193 01:09:54,156 --> 01:09:58,644 Do you know how many tears Oliver and I have cried over you? 1194 01:09:58,646 --> 01:10:00,504 I'm sorry... 1195 01:10:00,506 --> 01:10:07,077 Being cheated on and being walked out on... It's very shaming! 1196 01:10:07,817 --> 01:10:11,674 Everyone's going to look at me and wonder how I could take you back. 1197 01:10:12,224 --> 01:10:17,489 I will spend the rest of my life making this up to you, Gin. 1198 01:10:20,299 --> 01:10:23,311 So, we're gonna go the whole rest of our marriage without you telling me what you did? 1199 01:10:23,313 --> 01:10:26,732 The 'whole rest of our marriage' makes it sound like we're gonna last a long time. 1200 01:10:26,734 --> 01:10:28,189 You don't think we will? 1201 01:10:28,191 --> 01:10:29,432 I don't know. 1202 01:10:29,434 --> 01:10:32,502 Well, that doesn't sound good. 1203 01:10:34,172 --> 01:10:37,775 Is this about that kid? What, are you, like, in love with him or something? 1204 01:10:38,545 --> 01:10:39,416 No. 1205 01:10:40,036 --> 01:10:41,758 I can't believe this. 1206 01:10:41,760 --> 01:10:44,222 That punk. I served him Opus One. 1207 01:10:44,224 --> 01:10:47,128 And he did God knows what with my wife. 1208 01:10:47,130 --> 01:10:49,521 Josh, I didn't say I wanna break up. 1209 01:10:49,523 --> 01:10:52,549 It wouldn't be a break-up, it would be a divorce. 1210 01:10:53,469 --> 01:10:57,120 Well, I'm not thinking about divorce. 1211 01:10:57,290 --> 01:10:58,931 I was earlier tonight. 1212 01:10:59,261 --> 01:11:00,474 What?! 1213 01:11:01,514 --> 01:11:04,828 It's just that the girls think that you don't respect me. 1214 01:11:04,830 --> 01:11:10,234 The way that you're always making sarcastic remarks and trying to take me down a notch. 1215 01:11:10,236 --> 01:11:11,542 I respect you. 1216 01:11:13,272 --> 01:11:15,656 I don't know if you do. 1217 01:11:17,186 --> 01:11:22,404 Wha... what does that word mean anyway...'respect'? Respect. 1218 01:11:27,324 --> 01:11:32,954 Obviously, I respect you. If I didn't, why would I want to go to that kid's next showcase 1219 01:11:32,956 --> 01:11:37,128 and beat the shit out of him in front of his agents and managers and everybody? 1220 01:11:38,228 --> 01:11:42,029 Not much of a guest room. What is this, the servants' quarters? 1221 01:11:42,031 --> 01:11:44,340 Stop complaining. 1222 01:11:44,760 --> 01:11:48,543 So. What'd you and Chris do? 1223 01:11:48,733 --> 01:11:50,278 Nothing. 1224 01:11:50,578 --> 01:11:52,723 Michelle. 1225 01:11:52,725 --> 01:11:57,353 I'm serious. We didn't do anything. We just talked. He wants to get back together with Ginger. 1226 01:11:57,355 --> 01:12:00,523 He does? Is she gonna take him back? 1227 01:12:00,525 --> 01:12:02,864 I don't know. 1228 01:12:03,714 --> 01:12:05,438 What did you and Lisa do? 1229 01:12:05,440 --> 01:12:07,345 Wait, I wanna talk about Ginger and Chris. 1230 01:12:07,347 --> 01:12:10,002 No, let's talk about you and Lisa. 1231 01:12:10,642 --> 01:12:13,569 I'm not trying to grill you, I'm just curious. 1232 01:12:14,499 --> 01:12:17,024 I'm glad it was her. I'm not jealous of her. 1233 01:12:17,026 --> 01:12:18,644 You're not? 1234 01:12:20,304 --> 01:12:22,437 Do you think I should be? 1235 01:12:23,617 --> 01:12:25,409 You have a thing for Lisa now! 1236 01:12:25,629 --> 01:12:27,243 No, I don't. 1237 01:12:27,245 --> 01:12:32,424 Dave. Her boobs are so big. They're too big. 1238 01:12:32,724 --> 01:12:38,057 Just because I don't think she's a threat doesn't mean she's not a threat. You could be totally attracted to her. 1239 01:12:42,182 --> 01:12:44,209 You think she's hot! 1240 01:12:44,229 --> 01:12:46,964 You loved making out with her. Did you do more than kiss? 1241 01:12:46,966 --> 01:12:48,341 No. 1242 01:12:48,343 --> 01:12:50,444 Did you wish you did more than kiss? 1243 01:12:51,144 --> 01:12:53,852 Wha... it's... why is that even... 1244 01:12:53,854 --> 01:12:55,814 Oh my god! 1245 01:12:55,974 --> 01:12:58,125 I'm so jealous, I could scream. 1246 01:12:58,127 --> 01:13:00,833 I could totally freak out right now. 1247 01:13:01,453 --> 01:13:02,817 Oh my god. 1248 01:13:02,819 --> 01:13:05,705 She has a great body, doesn't she? 1249 01:13:06,245 --> 01:13:08,866 Are you... you really want me to answer that? 1250 01:13:08,868 --> 01:13:11,985 YES. Do you think she has a good body? 1251 01:13:11,987 --> 01:13:13,431 Unh... 1252 01:13:14,781 --> 01:13:17,113 Maybe? I don't... this is stupid... 1253 01:13:17,115 --> 01:13:19,401 How can you say that to me?! 1254 01:13:19,661 --> 01:13:21,788 All I said was 'maybe'! 1255 01:13:21,958 --> 01:13:23,814 Oh my god! 1256 01:13:23,994 --> 01:13:27,840 She has a good figure and I'm a short-waisted freak! 1257 01:13:29,270 --> 01:13:32,086 You are not a short-waisted freak. 1258 01:13:35,614 --> 01:13:39,001 If you were innocent, you would just tell me what you did. 1259 01:13:39,003 --> 01:13:42,740 The fact that you won't tell me what you did means you're guilty of something! 1260 01:13:42,742 --> 01:13:44,920 We signed a contract for exactly this reason. 1261 01:13:44,922 --> 01:13:47,306 You know what's weird? 1262 01:13:47,308 --> 01:13:51,587 You haven't asked what Ginger and I did. Because it hasn't even occurred to you... 1263 01:13:51,589 --> 01:13:54,588 because you're so consumed by thoughts of Brad! 1264 01:13:54,590 --> 01:13:57,092 What did you do? Tell me what you did! 1265 01:14:03,992 --> 01:14:09,119 So, what, I'm just... I'm just supposed to go around wondering what you did for the rest of my life? 1266 01:14:09,121 --> 01:14:13,574 Yeah. Just like I'll always wonder what you did with that girl, Jennifer, from work. 1267 01:14:13,576 --> 01:14:18,202 Oh, I knew you were going to play that card. That happened eight years ago. 1268 01:14:20,442 --> 01:14:23,402 It feels like yesterday. 1269 01:14:24,784 --> 01:14:27,905 You can't. Try all you want, but you're not going to. 1270 01:14:27,907 --> 01:14:29,941 Let me love you. Let me love you! 1271 01:14:29,943 --> 01:14:31,316 No! 1272 01:14:31,546 --> 01:14:32,715 Stop. You're too... 1273 01:14:32,717 --> 01:14:33,703 Okay, just give up. 1274 01:14:33,705 --> 01:14:34,434 No! 1275 01:14:34,436 --> 01:14:35,206 Just give up! 1276 01:14:35,208 --> 01:14:36,390 No! 1277 01:14:42,990 --> 01:14:45,932 I wanna read that script he sold. 1278 01:14:47,632 --> 01:14:52,070 It's weird. There's so many people out there. 1279 01:14:53,690 --> 01:14:56,248 But there's no one like you. 1280 01:15:01,028 --> 01:15:03,777 Please give me another chance. 1281 01:15:05,157 --> 01:15:07,941 I don't know if I can get over it. 1282 01:15:07,943 --> 01:15:12,092 Tell me what to do to make this right. I'll do anything. 1283 01:15:15,472 --> 01:15:20,757 You know, the obvious thing is that you get a free pass. 1284 01:15:22,292 --> 01:15:25,497 You get to cheat on me. Once. Whenever you want. 1285 01:15:27,387 --> 01:15:30,707 I would argue that that kid, Brad, counts for something. 1286 01:15:30,709 --> 01:15:33,789 Because I know you had better sex with him than I did with the actress. 1287 01:15:33,791 --> 01:15:38,765 Well, I'm sorry that you didn't fully enjoy yourself when you were cheating on me. 1288 01:15:59,165 --> 01:16:00,408 Tense up. 1289 01:16:00,808 --> 01:16:01,568 What? 1290 01:16:01,570 --> 01:16:02,827 Just tense your stomach muscles up. 1291 01:16:02,829 --> 01:16:03,401 I don't... 1292 01:16:03,403 --> 01:16:04,381 Go ahead, do it. 1293 01:16:04,383 --> 01:16:06,246 I don't understand... oh! 1294 01:16:06,248 --> 01:16:07,261 Ow! 1295 01:16:27,946 --> 01:16:33,031 From this point forward, I won't bring up Brad and you won't bring up Jennifer. 1296 01:16:34,271 --> 01:16:36,461 Okay. 1297 01:16:40,651 --> 01:16:42,838 Something's changed. 1298 01:16:43,108 --> 01:16:44,479 What do you mean? 1299 01:16:44,481 --> 01:16:47,557 I don't know. It's like you're not as invested. 1300 01:16:49,227 --> 01:16:51,939 I'm invested. 1301 01:16:54,989 --> 01:16:57,939 What are you doing? You always stay up and work. 1302 01:16:57,941 --> 01:17:00,628 Not tonight. We gotta have sex. 1303 01:17:01,758 --> 01:17:04,926 I gotta try to make you forget about that kid. 1304 01:17:06,116 --> 01:17:07,974 Who shall remain nameless. 1305 01:17:08,794 --> 01:17:11,312 I didn't get to do anything. 1306 01:17:11,314 --> 01:17:15,364 Everybody got to do something except for me. 1307 01:18:50,661 --> 01:18:52,552 Prescriptions? For what? 1308 01:18:52,554 --> 01:18:57,766 You name it. High blood pressure, reflux, hair loss, anxiety... the guy is falling apart. 1309 01:18:57,768 --> 01:19:01,397 The price of success. You know, he's under a lot of pressure. 1310 01:19:01,399 --> 01:19:04,754 Yeah, maybe that's what we're in for when we get to where we wanna be, huh? 1311 01:19:04,756 --> 01:19:07,407 No, no, we'll be different. We'll handle it better. 1312 01:19:07,409 --> 01:19:08,393 Ah, right. 1313 01:19:08,395 --> 01:19:10,676 Stay grounded, keep our priorities straight... 1314 01:19:10,678 --> 01:19:13,814 Right. Maybe the guy's just not good at handling stress. 1315 01:19:13,816 --> 01:19:17,286 Yeah. We'll handle it better. 1316 01:19:17,288 --> 01:19:18,587 I feel for him. 1317 01:19:18,589 --> 01:19:19,926 Yeah? 1318 01:19:19,928 --> 01:19:21,780 Mm-hm. 1319 01:19:27,946 --> 01:19:29,619 Bye. 1320 01:19:48,289 --> 01:19:51,898 Okay. Alright. I'll call you when I get there. Thanks. Bye. 1321 01:19:53,158 --> 01:19:55,560 Ginger told me to tell you thanks. 1322 01:19:55,562 --> 01:19:56,781 For what? 1323 01:19:56,783 --> 01:20:00,221 She said you were kind to her last night. 1324 01:20:05,828 --> 01:20:07,891 Let's call Oliver. 1325 01:20:10,721 --> 01:20:13,003 We can't screw up again. 1326 01:20:14,023 --> 01:20:15,411 YOU can't. 1327 01:20:15,413 --> 01:20:18,013 I won't. I'm not going to. 1328 01:20:18,015 --> 01:20:22,151 We can't put him through that again. 1329 01:20:22,741 --> 01:20:24,780 We won't. 1330 01:20:31,390 --> 01:20:33,797 The girls all think you're really attractive. 1331 01:20:33,799 --> 01:20:35,494 They do? 1332 01:20:36,764 --> 01:20:39,309 Well, what'd they say, exactly? 1333 01:20:39,439 --> 01:20:41,856 That you have sex appeal. 1334 01:20:42,476 --> 01:20:45,643 They think you're great. They love you. 1335 01:20:48,553 --> 01:20:51,042 What's the matter? What's wrong? 1336 01:20:54,302 --> 01:20:55,407 I'm sorry... 1337 01:20:55,957 --> 01:20:57,232 For what? 1338 01:20:57,462 --> 01:21:01,631 It's, just, I know I can be short-tempered and... 1339 01:21:02,495 --> 01:21:04,023 Well, you get no sleep. 1340 01:21:04,025 --> 01:21:07,045 You're walking around totally sleep-deprived. 1341 01:21:07,047 --> 01:21:09,567 And here you're trying to write, and mastermind everything... 1342 01:21:09,569 --> 01:21:11,221 where the kids are going to go to school, 1343 01:21:11,223 --> 01:21:13,917 and what's the best pediatrician for them to go to, 1344 01:21:13,919 --> 01:21:16,413 and whether or not they're going to get flu shots... 1345 01:21:16,415 --> 01:21:22,752 You're an amazing mom. And I'm no help. I mean, I'm lame. I don't do anything compared to you. 1346 01:21:24,602 --> 01:21:26,761 Thank you. 1347 01:21:27,641 --> 01:21:32,170 That's all I wanted to hear... just the acknowledgement, you know? 1348 01:21:35,320 --> 01:21:37,933 We should go out. Once a week. 1349 01:21:38,653 --> 01:21:42,414 Just the two of us. I don't care what it costs, we have to do it. 1350 01:21:42,416 --> 01:21:44,509 Okay. 1351 01:21:46,809 --> 01:21:49,863 Do you remember what Antonio Banderas said? 1352 01:21:50,283 --> 01:21:53,277 "A relationship is like a fire." 1353 01:21:55,237 --> 01:21:59,613 "You have to throw wood on it to keep it going." 1354 01:22:00,253 --> 01:22:01,927 Si. 1355 01:22:07,604 --> 01:22:08,862 I've been thinking about New York. 1356 01:22:08,864 --> 01:22:10,267 Really? 1357 01:22:10,269 --> 01:22:14,069 Yeah. For a writer, it's the best place to live. 1358 01:22:14,071 --> 01:22:19,665 You know, you overhear the most interesting conversations that you would never hear in L.A. 1359 01:22:21,325 --> 01:22:25,788 I don't know. I know that Manhattan is crazy expensive... 1360 01:22:25,908 --> 01:22:28,397 The air quality is terrible... 1361 01:22:28,399 --> 01:22:32,254 Right. But what if, deep down inside, you believe that it's the only place to live? 1362 01:22:33,154 --> 01:22:35,678 Is that what you think? 1363 01:22:35,680 --> 01:22:38,205 Maybe. 1364 01:22:39,465 --> 01:22:41,380 Me, too. 1365 01:22:41,382 --> 01:22:47,407 Let's go. I mean, I could easily leave, you know? I'm serious. 1366 01:22:47,409 --> 01:22:52,965 I mean, I love our friends, but... I could walk away. 1367 01:22:55,615 --> 01:22:57,190 We can't move. 1368 01:22:57,192 --> 01:23:00,250 Yeah. Not yet. 1369 01:23:00,252 --> 01:23:03,481 I gotta be out here for meetings and stuff. 1370 01:23:06,031 --> 01:23:09,330 Dave and Michelle are hosting the next dinner. 1371 01:23:11,500 --> 01:23:12,821 Should be fun. 1372 01:23:13,031 --> 01:23:14,932 Yeah. Should be. 1373 01:23:17,635 --> 01:23:22,635 Subtitles by explosiveskull 108810