All language subtitles for Holiday.Monday.2021.1080p.WEB-DL.AAC2.0.H.264-EVO

Provided by explosiveskull
https://twitter.com/kaboomskull

And I thought government agents
were meant to be taller.

And I thought private security
were meant to be better dressed.

How's it going man?

Hey, buddy.

No seriously,
what is with the get up?

A leather jacket
and an assault vest?

- Oh, he went for the jacket.
- Well...

it's not going to make
New York Fashion Week now is it?

I've got three
of these bad boys,

they never go out of fashion.

Classic's a classic!

You guys make
a great double act,

why don't you have
your own show?

- This is our show.
- No, this is my show.

Now, would you like
the lowdown on the job?

I'm assuming you both
haven't bothered to read it

since it was such last minute?

Does a bear shit in the woods?

No but your mom does.

- Oh, breaking out the mommas.
- Right, guys.

So basically, your client
is the CEO of an energy company.

Mr. Gustav and his wife
are attending a conference

or mini-summit here at this

security nightmare
of a business center.

Unfortunately,
some of the company's activity,

let's just say
is less than ethical.

Their exploitation of groups
in the Middle East

have resulted in them
coming under fire

from both the media
and campaigners,

to the point
where an opposing force,

let's just call them terrorists
for all intents and purposes,

have issued death threats
towards them.

The problem is the death threats
referenced this conference.

It sounds like
you're using them as bait.

- Again?
- Does he know that?

It was Mr. Gustav's idea
for the conference to go ahead.

So I need you two
to reassure him

that everything
is going to be okay.

I will let him know
there's going to be

two security personnel
with them at all times.

Uh huh, who are they?

Trust me,
if I didn't know you two

I would have
said the same thing.

Party kicks off
in 45 minute guys.

Oh, a party.

I'm off to do one last sweep
of the building.

Oh, get some better gear on.

You're not protecting
a celebrity now.

This is the big time.

Ain't you a bit short
for the big time?

Always with the height jokes.

Size isn't everything, Nick.

That's just something
that short people say.

Yeah, you're right.

Asshole.

So, a Scotsman, an Englishman
and an Irishman

- walk into a bar...
- Oh, here we go.

...And the bartender goes

is this some kind of
fucking joke?

You two, get back!

I go high, you go low.

Stokes, get them out of here!

You two, get behind the door.

Okay, when I say now,
open the lift door.

Okay.

Now!

How the fuck did
you get in this building?

Brain power.

Meet fire power.

Clear!

There we go.

Come on.

You okay, Nick?

You took your time.

Clear?

Right, up you get.

Fancy meeting you here.

Old habits die hard.

Best be good reason

There is.

Skulking about
in the cold and the dark

spying on my own
fucking drug deal.

I must be mad.

Well, like they say.

If you want something
done properly.

The point in hiring a bag man is
so we don't have to do the drop.

Well, your bag man
seems a little bit off.

What makes you say that?

Well, before he left,

I went to strap a GPS tracker
under the seat of his car.

Just in case.

A GPS tracker?

That's why you're
my head of security.

Yeah, but I found this
in the back seat.

I fucking told him.

Never leave that out in view,
always keep it hidden.

Yeah, figures.

Thing is, the deal
is minutes from going down

and I've got the case.

So what's he got in there?

And as if by magic,
the shopkeeper appears.

Money on the table.

You look a bit nervous.

First time this big?

You could have ironed it.

That's not that
funny money is it?

You see me laughing?

Just checking.

And the product?

It's the best there is.

Our finest yet.

Only the best.

Been a pleasure.

Whoa, just a sec.

Is there a problem?

Mind if I sample it first?

Ah, no, no.

That's against company policy.

Do you think this is some
kind of back alley hand job?

Think I'm gonna hand over 200
large without trying the merch?

I sample the product
or the money leaves the room

and not with you.

Where's the trust
in business these days?

Trust goes out the window
with guys like you.

It looks good to me.

Shut your mouth.

Yeah, shut your mouth.

I'm asking nicely,
I won't ask nicely again.

I dip the product or we walk.

Bit unorthodox but carry on.

What the fuck is this?

That's our finest,
purest product yet.

That shit's been cut
more times than my front lawn.

We do not cut our gear.

What kind of crazy shit
are you trying to pull here?

Where's the real merch?

That is the real merch.

The fuck it is.

Nobody pulls a gun on me.

Do you know what this is?

No.

You're about to find out.

Look.

Shit!

Hey!

Excuse me.

Icing sugar?

What went down here,

it makes no sense.

Bake sale?

I think we should call Gina.

Make the call.

I'll take a price
on the bag man.

Deadly in 24 hours.

Roger.

Ah, fuck.

Hello.

Hello, am I speaking to Derek?

You are. How can I help?

I need private security.

My life is in danger.

Is this in relation
to a criminal incident?

If so, have you
contacted the police

and sought witness protection
through them?

They may be able to help.

It's too late for that, please.

Okay, calm down and listen.

Are you able to meet tomorrow
face-to-face

- at a secure location?
- Yes.

- Thanks again for your help.
- Any time mate.

You guys get off, I've just got
the formalities to deal with.

Okay, bye.

Okay, see you then.

Stay safe.

- Yo.
- I got us our next job.

Do you ever stop?

Only when I'm dead.

Don't tempt me.

Can I have a high-five?

Oh, the other one, yeah.

Both at the same time.

Ah, man,
you're too fast for me.

You are just gorgeous
aren't you?

Mmm, not really.

I'm stronger than you but.

Oh, you think so?

I'm a pro wrestler.

Wow.

What have you been
letting her watch on TV?

You don't wanna be something
sweet and innocent

like a nurse
or a flower arranger?

- What!
- What!

Or a violin player?

Aw man, who's that?

Uncle Derek.

Uh, he's always here.

I take it this
isn't a social call?

We've got a half past nine.

Really Derek, on a bank holiday?

Hey, duty calls.

Hurry up and get back
so we can spend

some quality time together.

Aw Emma,
I didn't know you cared.

Not you, dumbass.

- Gee, thanks.
- Aw man, here he comes.

Hey man, what's up?

- Hey.
- What!

Shut it.

Morning.

How are we this morning?

- Good.
- You had your breakfast?

What did you have?

- Cupcakes and pancakes.
- Cupcakes and pancakes,

aw he's spoiling you today.

What are you looking at?

Just thinking about
all the things that I would do

if you were naked right now.

And I thought you
were the quiet kind.

Ah, but you don't know me
like I do.

We're gonna be late.

Slave driver.

I need to steal your dad,
is that okay?

We'll be back.

Hey.

You better come back
in one piece.

I'm getting tired
of these sleepless nights.

And I thought you
liked sleepless nights.

I'm serious.

So, what are we going to do
with your hair today?

- Plaits.
- Plaits?

That's easy, I can do that.

How many times have I told you
not to smoke in my fucking car?

What's your problem?

I've not got one.

The smell's driving me wild.

Mm.

Smell that lung cancer.

What doesn't kill yah
makes you stronger, man.

Yeah, but I'm not too sure
that applies to nicotine though.

Where are we going anyway?
I should be with

- Emma and Maddie today.
- Take it up

- with the trade union.
- Oh, we've got a trade union?

- Yes.
- Wow.

- Is this the place?
- Yup.

No sign of the guy yet though.

We're early.

So, what's the details?

- Some guy wants protection.
- Hasn't he heard of pharmacies?

- Do you mind?
- Nah, you carry on.

Some guy phones me up out of the
blue, looking for protection.

He wasn't very specific but
I get the impression he's, uh,

pissed someone off.

Done a background check,
nothing too serious.

Arrested for witness
intimidation,

no convictions,
seems harmless enough.

Seems like a saint compared
to the people we deal with.

So where the fuck is he?

Aye.

At least you have
family to go home to.

What?

I said at least
you got a family.

Where did that come from?
Rome wasn't built in a day.

What the hell
is that supposed to mean?

Well, there's still time
for you yet.

I mean what happened
to that Sandy chick

that you saw a couple of times?

Ah, she woke up one morning
and realized I was an asshole,

I guess.

I'm surprised it took her
so long.

By the way, I've been thinking.

It's probably time
that I stepped back.

Stepped back?

Yeah like, from doing this.

You serious?

You're deserting me?

Look...

I mean, what have I got?

I don't have any family.

I don't have any friends.

Shit.

When I was on tour,
the only thing that stopped me

from putting a bullet
in my fucking head

was putting one
in someone else's.

Now what have I got?

Shit, it still gives me
nightmares.

That's some dark shit you
got going on up in there man.

You really need
to sort that out.

I know.

But who are you to judge, eh?

Honestly, how do you
just get over everything?

You really are
a drama queen aren't you?

Do you wanna end up in a cell?

Cause if we keep taking these
risks, if we keep doing this

that's exactly
what's gonna happen.

Or even worse, we end up dead.

Seriously man, I need to
step back I need a change,

- I gotta get out of this life.
- And play happy family?

Aw, come on, don't talk shit
about what I got

- just cause you...
- Fucking hell.

I'm gonna kill 'em.

Aw, shit.

Shit.

Fuck.

Hello?

Who the fuck is this?

Who the fuck is this?

Where's my money?

I don't know where
your money is friend,

oh wait, is it this briefcase
that's in the car

next to the man
with the slug in his face?

Looks to me to be about...

200 grand in notes.

That's the one.

I want that back.

And I want a house
in Beverly Hills

with ten live-in swimwear models
and a Bentley Continental.

Maybe we can cut a deal.

- We don't do deals.
- We?

And we don't want
mixed up in this shit.

Bit late for that.

Look at the stiff on the seat,

I wouldn't rely on
my restraint if I were you.

Maybe I give my shooter
two new targets

and let her retrieve the money.

Yeah, well why don't you
tell that little minx

to come down here and we can
settle this mano-a-mano.

Or better yet, why don't you
stop being a coward

and show yourself, asshole.

Or you can come to the club,
The Fair Maiden

and we can settle this amicably
with a bit of class.

Twenty minutes.

Aw, he hung up.

Well, we're in the shit.

Now it gets interesting.

Look at these.

I have a feeling
I know what's gonna happen

when I phone our contact.

Let's get outta here
before the cops show.

- On the right,
- Clear.

Shoot first,
ask questions later?

What better way
to crash a party?

On my mark.

One, two.

Hit it.

I'm out.

What you thinking?

Yo?

Aye.

Come on, buddy.

Area's clean.

Nice work.

You must be the fair maiden.

Oh how nice of you to notice.

Hi.

First he hides behind a phone,

now he hides behind a screen.

So you're the men
who opened Pandora's box.

Where's my money?

This guy's such a douche.

And you must be his pet monkey.

Oh.

Monkey, monkey.

You do realize
she's probably a fed, right?

I'm not.

She looks like a spook.

Ooh.

Sorry babe,
hope we didn't blow your cover.

Why don't you blow me?

Mmm.

Now that's a thought.

I work for Mr. Big here.

It's funny, from here
Mr. Big looks kind of small.

Boys...

...You startled me.

We're gonna turn this shit
into a bloodbath, motherfucker.

Look around,

looks as if you already have.

Yes police?

I'd like to report a mass
shooting by two crazed gunmen.

We'll be back.

You can count on that, compadre.

And you, call me too.

Call me too.

Hey, she was a cougar.

Yeah you might wanna set
your sights a little higher

than the local assassin.

Man, why you always
gotta bringing me down?

It's so easy.

Derek!

Time to extract our money
from the clutches

of a couple of undesirables.

Bought time
for milk and cookies.

Maybe not...

do you know who these guys are?

Let me guess, this is the part
where you tell me

I've made a fatal mistake
and these guys

aren't to be fucked with,

experts in martial arts,
weapons, explosives?

Blah, blah, fucking blah.

Something like that.

Ex-military, now working as
freelance security personnel.

The confidence to come in here,
guns blazing.

Yeah, for some kind of police
protection, co-operation

I suspect in there,
in case floors get sticky.

Where did you get that file?

I have my sources.

You just have to know
where to look.

See, that's what I love about
you,

it's that air of mystery.

You're a regular
little Maleficent.

Maybe they were right
about you being a spook.

I'll get the clean-up crew,
shall I?

- Changing the subject.
- Right.

Let's just say that
that was the case.

What? I just print it off
on the office photocopier

and bring it in
on letter-headed paper?

Signed by the chief
Cunt-stubble.

Maybe that's your angle?

You've got a very
vivid imagination.

Always.

So, what about these three?

We'll just drop them
in a few kegs of sulfuric

and spread the slop on the farm?

And just like that,
they're gone.

So I'm guessing the other two
are going to be snuffed

in a more clinical fashion?

We'll let the boys
have some fun with them first.

Well, watch your back.

Ironic coming from a sniper,
don't you think?

I like to keep my distance.

I had noticed.

Ciao.

Ciao.

I need a pick-up.

Two barrels.

The kind that you need
gloves to handle.

All there?

Shh.

Surprise!

So...

Why did you two decide
to ruin my bank holiday Monday?

Why d'you kill the guy
in the car?

Shut that holier
than thou shit.

He betrayed me.

I bury traitors.

I spit in the face of snitches.

I sever ties and then
bask in their goddamn blood.

Bask in their goddamn blood.

Ah fuck.

Aw, fuck I love this
theatrical panto villain shit.

I could've been in Lear.

This japs right here,

he doesn't even know
who Shakespeare is.

All his mum taught him
was how to suck her titties

and then run his bathwater.

So many unanswered questions,
eh?

Why did that guy
take that money from me?

How did your photographs
end up in that briefcase?

Your guess is as good as mine.

Does it matter?

Well, I guess not.

Que sera.

Que sera.

I know why.

Take it to your
grave, sweetheart.

Me no give no fucks.

Hold him.

Could you hold that for me,
dear?

You don't want to make
the whole speech-thing last

just a little longer so
we can think up an escape plan?

Just checking.

Ah-ha.

Gutted.

Absolutely gutted for you.

Oh, thank you very much.

You all right?

Yeah.

I will be in about
three seconds.

Two, one.

Ugh.

Oh, shit!

Oh, shit!

Ugh, ugh, ugh.

Yo, you good?

Yo, you good?

Yeah, I've got Colossus.

On you go.

Oops.

Butter fingers.

Ah, ah.

Ah.

Oh, shit!

Hello, is that one Oliver Payne?

My friends call me Oapi.

So I'm guessing
you're not one of them.

Forgive me, we haven't met.

My name is Barnes.

Where's my money, Barnes?

Now don't let your
emotions get the...

I want that back, what the fuck
do you think this is?

Are you goading me?

Are you looking for
some kind of reaction?

Because you'll get one.

The deal that went south,

that was a...

let's call him former employee,

a bag man, who thought
he could fuck me over.

- And instead he fucked me over.
- Exactly.

You were just collateral damage.

Have you any idea
how long it takes

to scrape together 200 G's?

I've worked my way up
from nothing.

I finally get together
enough to do something big

and then some aging con artist
comes and takes it away.

My heart bleeds.
Where's my fucking cello?

Look Oliver, don't pour your
heart out to me I can't take it.

You patronizing motherfucker!

Now listen,
I've got your money back.

It's right here with me.

There's no issue
in meeting you and giving you

the briefcase back,
intact, as is.

You can even check every
dollar bill to make sure

the right mugshot's
on the front.

Or?

You knew there was an 'or',

I like that Oliver.

Or we could proceed
with the deal as planned.

I bring you the required
amount of narcotics,

plus an extra half key
for your time wasted

and inconvenience.

How does that sound?

How do I know the same shit
won't go down again?

Hence why I'm agreeing
to be there in person.

You could have
just kept the money.

What, and forego
any future business?

Tarnish my reputation?

And what about the bag man?

Sorry?

Where is he now?

Oh, we caught up with him
earlier this morning.

Relieved of his desire
to keep breathing.

Good.

Just sorry
I wasn't there myself.

Oh, believe me Oliver,

if I could, you would have
had a ringside seat.

So do we have a deal?

Yeah, I'm keen to proceed
with the original plan.

Excellent, I'll give you
a meeting point.

You are going to love this.

Shouldn't it be on my turf?

Why take the risk?

'Suppose it's risky either way.

Makes sense right, Oapi?

Yeah, okay.

So, where and when?

I hope you've got
your sea legs on.

Friend.

You smash another window in here
by breaking like King Kong

I'm gonna dock
your wages, Grande.

Do you know your trouble,
Grande?

You lack finesse.

Who needs finesse when you're
seven foot tall?

Bullshit.

You know that sayin',

"The bigger they are,
the harder they fall?"

Most people think that means
the bigger they are,

the harder it is
to knock you down.

But it doesn't.

Means the bigger you are,

the harder you hit the deck.

Is that a threat?

Look at you,

those two walk in
playin' heroes,

and you let one of 'em
walk out the door.

You're losin' your touch.

You're losin' it.

Who the fuck do you
think you are?

You let one of them
walk out that door.

You are losin' your touch.

Do you wanna hear a joke?

Do I look like I like jokes?

Come on, Grande,

you're a funny guy!

You appreciate good humor.

You'll like this one.

Here goes.

What do tall people do

when they see
an aeroplane comin'?

Heard it a million times before.

Maybe you're not losin'
your touch after all.

Yeah?

Put him on.

It's for you.

It's the crazy merc.

Roadkill!

You're out of your depth.

Fuck you!

What do you want?

You killed someone close to me.

I want your life.

The only thing
you're gonna receive

is a bullet

compris entre les oreilles.

You ever heard of the saying,

"Never underestimate
your problem

or your ability
to deal with it?"

I'm your problem now.

Yeah, a minor one,

like sand in your shoe
after a day at the beach.

Buddy burned to a crisp, is he?

Whoever you are,

I'm gonna find you.

I'm gonna rip
your fucking head off.

Everything you have,
I'm gonna take it from you.

And you wanna know
the worst part?

Oh, enlighten me.

You ain't gonna see it coming.

I'll look forward to ya.

Sorry, mate.

Here to finish the job?

I've got a family.

Ah!

I ain't got any reasons left

not to pull this trigger.

Wait, I can get you Barnes.

Why the fuck would you do that?

My brother died
in that explosion.

What do you mean?

He worked for Barnes.

I want him just as much as you.

Yeah? Why should I believe that?

Don't believe it,

but I'm your ticket
to catching Barnes.

He deals in cocaine,

prides himself on always
selling the purest form.

He calls it white gold.

He's dangerous,
shows no remorse.

And you work for him.

Hey, I just collect debts,

rough people up a bit,

sometimes it gets messy.

Same old bullshit, eh?

Grew up in a bad
neighborhood, joined a gang,

got into drugs?

Actually, I was a sniper
in the armed forces,

amongst other things.

And when I came back,

I couldn't get a job.

And my brother
had joined a gang.

I was in the army.

I didn't become
an assassin, though.

Yes, you did,
it's just before,

you thought you were
killing for a cause,

and now you're just
killing for money.

It's all the same!

You're a sellout.

You're a fucking mercenary

just like me.

All the people that I've killed
deserved what they got,

- mostly.
- What, because your government

told you?

No, because my
conscience told me.

You don't have a conscience.

Yeah, not today.

A lot of people died,
good or bad,

including Derek.

If you wanna help me,
then tell me where he's at.

His club, the Fair Maiden,

it's named after a boat,

and it's moored just
along this coastline.

I can get you in.

That's where all the major
weight deals take place.

Okay.

But if you're a red herring

sent to lure me in,

you're gonna die with them.

I'll take position on the roof.

I've never done well
in close combat situations.

Yeah, I noticed that.

But remember,

save him for me.

Whatever you say.

And, uh, watch my back
in there 'cause I,

I wanna come back out.

Fuckin' hell.

What the fuck
happened to you, man?

- Yeah.
- Oh!

- Ooh.
- Oh, shit.

Broke my phone when that
big prick landed on me.

By the time I got
'round to the base,

I saw you leavin' with her,

so I thought I'd follow.

You switch sides, cougar bitch?

I'd eat you for breakfast.

Break your virginity
all over again.

Mm.

What?

Did you really get
that in the explosion?

Or is that really
a repetitive strain injury?

You really need to stop
with your sex jokes, man.

Housekeeping.

What the fuck is that?

What the fuck?

What the...
What's going on in?

Are you in position?

Standby.

Ready when you are.

Yo, man, about earlier,

I thought you were gone.

So, I could hear
the cops comin',

self-preservation
and all that shit.

Don't worry about it, man,
you stuck to the plan.

Speakin' of which,

what's the plan for this?

Shoot first,
ask questions later?

Yeah.

Oh, here you go,

put this on.

Have you lost the plot?

It's got a trackin'
device in it

so our sharpshooter
knows not to shoot us.

Yo, it ain't even Christmas.

Fuck it.

You truly are
as mad as they say.

Any samples?

What, you want to
try before you buy?

Think I'm gonna need to.

Looks good.

Tastes pretty good too.

Then I think we're done here.

Yeah.

Ho, ho, ho.

Merry fucking Christmas.

We got gifts
for the whole family.

Hey, it's you two.

Well, I'll be damned.

Who the fuck
are these two clowns?

Hey, don't ask me, bro,
I just work here.

Mm, you know what, Derek,

I think it's gonna be
a white Christmas, after all.

Oh, oh, Nick.

I think it's time we gave
these boys their presents.

Oh, yeah, shit,
I almost forgot.

Ah, fuck!

Ah!

Ah, fuck.

Ah!

Oh, shush.

Oh, that is some good shit.

Filthy habit.

I've got movement
coming up the hall,

door on your left.

You head on,
I'll clean up in here.

Well, well, well.

He's all yours.

Looks like it's just you and me.

Now it's just me.

Hey.

Ugh!

Oh, I'm sorry, darling.

No, no, no, no, no!

Hate to see a pretty
face go to waste.

No, no, no, no!

Fuck.

Shit.

Oh, shit!

Go, on.

Fuckin' kill him.

He's a big fucker, isn't he?

Tap out.

Ah, round two with Donkey Kong.

Oh!

- Oh, shit, we need to fix this.
- Get up, get up.

- We need to work together!
- Don't hold my fucking

hand, man.

No, no, no, no!

- You did that on purpose.
- Hold on, hold on.

- Oh, fuckin' shit.
- Human centipede,

- eat your heart out.
- Get this fucker off me.

- You want a hand?
- Get him the fuck off me.

You sure? You look like
you're enjoying this.

Come on.

Come on, little lad.

Oh.

That was fun.

Nice work, boys.

Your employment's
now terminated.

It's over, man.

- Shit.
- This is security.

We've had noise complaints.

What are you doing? Cease fire!

Open the door, please.

Cease fire!

She's already gone.

I'm gonna have to
make the call, man.

Gonna have to, man, sorry.

Hello, yes, can I get
an ambulance, please?

- Come on, man.
- I told you,

we were gonna end up
dead or in a cell.

It looks like I got the short
end of the stick, man.

Is that another sex joke?

- Yeah, little bit.
- Yes, yes, we're, uh,

at a ship in the docks.

Yes.

Yes, we're in the docks,

Pentland docks,
on the south side.

Pentland docks, yes,

there's a ship
called the Fair Maiden.

We've got a shot
to the neck, I need...

Oh, shit.

I need assistance quick, please!

What the fuck
are you laughin' at?

That tracker,

it wasn't in your hat,
it's in your vest.

Are you for real?

Hey, hey, hey, hey!

Hey, hey!

You were wearin' that too!

- Hold on, hold on.
- I know, I know.

Oh.

- You're all right.
- Oh, man.

Hey, hey, hey!

Don't make me have to
give you mouth to mouth.

- Yeah, that's...
- You know I will.

...that's never worked out
well for you in the past.

Hey!

She broke her ankle.

Don't make me laugh, man.

Hey, come on, come on,
man, keep pressure.

Come on, man, come on,
you're good, you're good.

Don't worry,
you're just going into

a little spat of insanity.

You're losin'
blood to the brain.

You're good, man.

Mind you, it might help you.

You're good.

Hey, hey, come on,

hold on.

You're good.

You're good, hey, stay with me.

Come on.

That's it, good man.

Stay, hey, stay with me.

Stay with me.

You're good, man.

You're good.

Shit.

Fuck.

Stay with me.

You're good, man.

Hold on.

You're good.

Is Daddy ready
to go home yet?

Daddy's been in an accident,

and he's been very badly hurt.

Will he be okay?

Well, the doctors are
doing the best they can.

We just have to be patient.

Why is it taking so long?

Well, that's because
he needs an extra big

sticky plaster.

Look, Mummy, over there,
there's toys!

Well, you can go play with them

as long as you can
still see Mummy.

But I want to be here
when Daddy comes back!

Don't worry,
I'll come and get you.

Mummy says I can
play with the toys!

Oh, yeah?

Wow, on you go.

You're gonna pace
a hole in that floor.

What do you expect?

How could you let this happen?

Emma, I'm sorry, I just...

Fuck your sorry.

Is that all you've
got to say is "Sorry?"

He could be lyin' on a slab
in an hour's time.

Come here.

All I wanted was a nice,
quiet bank holiday...

...just the three of us.

I know.

It's okay.

He's gonna make it
out the other side.

You know how stubborn
that prick is.

I know he's alive.

Except you don't, do you?

Why do it?

Why keep doing it?

It's funny,

he said the same thing
to me this morning.

What?

That he wants out.

It's a bit late for that.

He told me he wants
to spend more time

with you and Maddy.

And I threw a little bitch fit

accusing him of deserting me.

I just don't think
he meant it like this.

Yeah, well,

he always has to
have his own way.

Some people just

can't see themselves
doing anything else.

Nick, he could never
work in an office.

He'd be climbin' the walls.

Pushin' paper,

going to board meetings?

That's like going
from running to crawling.

What's wrong with crawlin'?

Nothin'.

That's Nick out of surgery.

- Can I see him?
- Yeah, come with me.

Maddy?

Police are downstairs, sir,
they'd like to speak with you.

I know.

Hey, ya.

Yay, Mummy,
he's woken up!

How you feelin' today?

For the first time,
the pain in my neck isn't you.

Don't joke.

Last night when I said
I wanted us to spend more

quality time together,

this isn't quite
what I had in mind.

Daddy, what would
you do tomorrow

if you knew you
weren't going to wake up?

Wow.

You're so deep for
a five-year-old, you know that?

Um, never go to sleep?

Hey, look, check out this scar.

- What?
- What?

Did Uncle Derek do that to you?

No, Uncle Derek just likes
gettin' Daddy into trouble.

Yeah, well, Daddy keeps on
going along with it, come here.

Let's get you
a sweet, shall we?

- Yes.
- Good.

Is it finished?

Just one last thing.

Come on.

Yo!

You gonna tell us
what we're doing here,

or are you having
one of your moments?

Yeah, in a minute.

- Where are we going?
- Reference library.

Ha, I knew it.

Your copy of
the Kama Sutra's overdue.

- Or is that mine?
- Will you stop with

the sex jokes for one minute?

Great, he's having a moment.

I hate it when he's like this.

So, the dead guy in the car
was our contact, right?

Yeah, he worked for Barnes,

and he wanted out,
so he steals Barnes' money

in order to buy protection.

The irony.

Yeah, and Barnes
was gonna make sure

that he didn't
make it out alive.

See, at least
that's what I thought.

Somethin' wasn't right,

so I had our favorite reporter
do a little bit of digging.

See the guy in the car?

He died eight years ago.

Oh, and he also died
four years ago.

In fact, he's got a little
bit of a habit of dying.

So you think that guy

organized the entire thing?

Yeah, maybe.

Check this out.

So, I reckon he
set us up to kill Barnes

so that he could
make off with the money.

That, and all the other assets
there was never any record of

because it was all drug money.

And that bitch
was in on it too.

Why help us out though?

Spin that yarn
about her brother?

Keep tabs on us?

Make sure we kill Barnes?

We get the blame for
killin' the guy in the car.

We were at the scene
of the crime.

She absolves herself
of any involvement.

She had the perfect opportunity
to get rid of the both of us,

leave no witnesses.

So, what?

She didn't expect us
to unravel their plan?

Yeah, I don't think
that she was plannin' on

either of us survivin'.

Yeah.

We've been played.

Yup.

I planted one of those
trackers on her van.

It's at a ranch just
north of the city.

I'm pissed off, man.

I say that we finish
the fuckin' job.

What?

Yeah, it's just not
as cute when you do it.

Nice.

It's not like I'm
tryin' to be cute.

According to the GPS,
they're right up ahead.

Two seconds, there's a woman,
just pull over here.

And I thought I was desperate.

Excuse me, um,
do you live up here?

Uh, no, I'm just a cleaner.

The owner's, um,
back at the farm cottage.

Uh, okay, do you know
who the owner is?

Um, it was a Mr. Barnes,

but the farm's
recently changed hands.

Okay, um, do you know
how many people are up there

by any chance?

Um, about a half a dozen?

What's this about?

Uh, we're just here
for a business meeting.

Um, thanks very much
for your help.

No problem.

Do you think we should have, uh,

told her not to
bother comin' back

since she probably
doesn't have an employer

in the next five minutes?

By the way,

you're fired!

Ugh, fuck you.

You're unreal, you know that?

Uh, hello, hi.

Uh, yeah, there's two,

there's two guys on their way
up to the farm cottage

just to let you know.

Thank you, Carol.

Round up the men.

I want these two
irritating fucks

buried beneath
the cow shit before sundown.

This is what happens
when you fail to do your job,

sweetheart.

Go, move!

- Get up there and cover me!
- Keep firing!

I thought we had something.

Not this time.

I told you I was gonna
turn this into a blood bath.

Ah!

Fuck!

Thought you were
supposed to be dead?

Slight oversight on my part.

Let me rectify that for you.

Ah!

Ah!

I'll give you
a cut of the money.

I knew you were
going to say that.

We can make a deal.

We don't do deals.

Try and stay dead this time.

You kill her?

Yeah.

Aw, man.

A shame.

You could have been
good together.

Come off it, mate.

How did the conman take it?

Eh, badly.

Good, they deserved it.

Think we should
bring that cleaner back.

Ooh!

Yeah!

Hey, are we really done?

Was this really
our last job together?

See you Monday.

Provided by explosiveskull
https://twitter.com/kaboomskull