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1
00:00:05,380 --> 00:00:07,798
Hey, everybody!
It's closing time
2
00:00:08,425 --> 00:00:10,718
You don't gotta go home
but you can't stay here.
3
00:00:16,850 --> 00:00:18,851
Closing time!
4
00:00:19,436 --> 00:00:22,521
Every office needs an
end-of-the-day tradition
5
00:00:23,148 --> 00:00:24,648
Something to tell you
the day's over.
6
00:00:24,733 --> 00:00:27,192
Otherwise, you go home
and the night just
feels like more day.
7
00:00:27,277 --> 00:00:28,318
it's weird
8
00:00:28,403 --> 00:00:29,611
Closing time!
9
00:00:29,738 --> 00:00:30,946
W, R, K
10
00:00:31,031 --> 00:00:32,781
One last call
for alcohol so...
11
00:00:32,866 --> 00:00:35,034
No, it's W, R, K
as in kitten?
12
00:00:35,118 --> 00:00:36,368
...so finish your
whiskey or beer!
13
00:00:36,453 --> 00:00:37,619
Oh, my boss is
singing Closing Time,
14
00:00:37,746 --> 00:00:38,912
maybe that's
what you're hearing
15
00:00:38,997 --> 00:00:39,997
Come on, Pam
16
00:00:40,081 --> 00:00:41,749
Closing time!
17
00:00:42,625 --> 00:00:48,714
Time for you to go home
to the places you will be from
18
00:00:49,466 --> 00:00:53,135
Let's see
Andy has been manager
for 105 days,
19
00:00:53,511 --> 00:00:58,307
which means I've heard
Closing Time 1 05 times
20
00:00:58,975 --> 00:01:01,060
Still don't know the words
21
00:01:03,063 --> 00:01:05,439
Home and home and home
22
00:01:06,441 --> 00:01:10,819
I know who I want
to take me home!
23
00:01:11,446 --> 00:01:21,121
I know who I want
to take me home
24
00:01:21,289 --> 00:01:23,040
Take me home
25
00:01:25,919 --> 00:01:28,629
You know what? Fine!
I try to start fun
traditions for you guys
26
00:01:28,713 --> 00:01:31,298
but if you don't want
to sing, no traditions
27
00:01:32,217 --> 00:01:34,468
Closing time!
28
00:01:35,011 --> 00:01:37,012
Every new beginning...
29
00:01:37,222 --> 00:01:41,642
I never heard that song
before and once I heard it
I did not care for it.
30
00:01:41,726 --> 00:01:44,520
But that song means
it's time to go home.
31
00:01:44,896 --> 00:01:47,439
Now, it's my favourite song
32
00:01:48,274 --> 00:01:54,988
Every new beginning
comes from
some other beginning's end
33
00:01:55,323 --> 00:01:56,698
Good night
34
00:02:28,189 --> 00:02:30,607
This report is atrocious
Who's your favourite
Iron Chef?
35
00:02:31,067 --> 00:02:32,526
You go first
36
00:02:34,154 --> 00:02:37,406
The ticketing software
paints a picture
37
00:02:37,490 --> 00:02:41,493
of a sloppy, careless
error-prone office.
38
00:02:42,453 --> 00:02:45,247
Well, the monitoring software
is a double-edged sword.
39
00:02:45,415 --> 00:02:46,623
Sometimes the
40
00:02:46,708 --> 00:02:47,916
Sorry. Go ahead
41
00:02:48,418 --> 00:02:49,751
Mmm-hmm
42
00:02:52,130 --> 00:02:53,755
Did you need
something from us?
43
00:02:54,883 --> 00:02:55,924
Yes
44
00:02:58,178 --> 00:03:00,304
Your attention
because...
45
00:03:03,349 --> 00:03:04,933
No. That is all
46
00:03:11,858 --> 00:03:14,151
Last night
I dreamed that
the number two
47
00:03:14,277 --> 00:03:16,612
was the most valued
number in the world.
48
00:03:17,238 --> 00:03:19,281
The Vice President
had all the power,
49
00:03:19,490 --> 00:03:21,783
athletes fought
for silver medals,
50
00:03:21,993 --> 00:03:24,036
women were considered
the best gender.
51
00:03:24,495 --> 00:03:28,248
And stadiums of fans shouted,
"We're number two!"
52
00:03:30,543 --> 00:03:32,628
As with all my dreams,
I'm guessing
53
00:03:32,795 --> 00:03:34,880
it was about
my fear of immigrants
54
00:03:35,548 --> 00:03:37,382
Last week, an accounting
mistake resulted in
55
00:03:37,467 --> 00:03:39,218
a client getting
their order for free
56
00:03:39,302 --> 00:03:41,720
Ho! That's not good
57
00:03:41,804 --> 00:03:44,306
Chalk that one up
to "Tweedle-Dee'
and "Tweedle-Dum" out there
58
00:03:44,724 --> 00:03:46,642
Who are they?
They're both Kevin
59
00:03:46,768 --> 00:03:48,727
Oscar's the
Sex and the City gang,
60
00:03:48,811 --> 00:03:50,729
and Angela, if you can
61
00:03:50,813 --> 00:03:53,899
Andy, sometimes
I feel like you don't
know me at all.
62
00:03:54,317 --> 00:03:55,317
I would agree with that
63
00:03:55,401 --> 00:03:57,819
Simply end the mistakes
64
00:03:58,404 --> 00:03:59,404
End the mistakes. Easy
65
00:03:59,489 --> 00:04:03,575
When I come back next
week, and this report
shows me "No mistakes,'
66
00:04:03,660 --> 00:04:06,453
we can talk
about names all day
67
00:04:06,829 --> 00:04:09,248
Our favourite names,
silly made-up names
68
00:04:09,332 --> 00:04:12,668
normal names said
in a silly voice.
Wouldn't that be nice?
69
00:04:13,503 --> 00:04:14,503
I would like that
70
00:04:14,587 --> 00:04:16,213
End the mistakes
71
00:04:16,547 --> 00:04:18,173
That's all I ask
72
00:04:19,717 --> 00:04:21,843
And you can't have
a favorite Iron Chef
73
00:04:21,928 --> 00:04:24,972
It depends entirely on
the secret ingredient
74
00:04:25,556 --> 00:04:29,518
Sometimes I feel you
don't know food at all
75
00:04:34,357 --> 00:04:35,774
I'm just saying,
with the NBA lockout
76
00:04:35,858 --> 00:04:37,943
I think roller derby's
in a really good
place right now.
77
00:04:38,027 --> 00:04:41,697
So, my pitch is, me, Pam
you and someone else
78
00:04:42,031 --> 00:04:43,407
maybe Justine
79
00:04:44,367 --> 00:04:45,993
No. Not Justine
80
00:04:46,536 --> 00:04:47,703
Never Justine
81
00:04:48,037 --> 00:04:49,079
Is that off again?
82
00:04:49,163 --> 00:04:50,247
Oh, yeah.
Okay
83
00:04:50,331 --> 00:04:53,375
Hey, mandatory
warehouse safety
meeting today.
84
00:04:54,127 --> 00:04:56,253
We don't really do those
We just sign the thing.
85
00:04:56,879 --> 00:04:58,255
Are you really this lazy?
86
00:05:00,133 --> 00:05:01,508
I'll be there
87
00:05:03,052 --> 00:05:04,386
Hey
Hey
88
00:05:05,513 --> 00:05:07,180
Mondays suck
89
00:05:07,348 --> 00:05:08,682
Yeah. Yep
90
00:05:11,728 --> 00:05:13,395
Just trying to
91
00:05:16,065 --> 00:05:19,735
I may have a little solution
to our mistakes problem.
92
00:05:20,695 --> 00:05:23,030
This is a project
I've been working on
for quite some time.
93
00:05:23,114 --> 00:05:25,157
And today might be
the day to use it.
94
00:05:25,241 --> 00:05:26,283
What've you got?
95
00:05:26,909 --> 00:05:28,160
Allow me
96
00:05:31,831 --> 00:05:33,749
You're gonna love this
97
00:05:35,585 --> 00:05:36,793
Should've used
a shorter string.
98
00:05:36,919 --> 00:05:38,128
Never mind
I know it by heart
99
00:05:38,338 --> 00:05:42,466
It is a system that
holds people accountable
for everyone else's work.
100
00:05:42,925 --> 00:05:44,009
Sounds controversial
101
00:05:44,427 --> 00:05:45,969
Have I not been
worthy of your trust?
102
00:05:46,929 --> 00:05:49,097
Have I not been
a reliable number two?
103
00:05:49,432 --> 00:05:51,058
Do not go there
104
00:05:52,101 --> 00:05:54,311
You're the deuce
I never want to drop
105
00:05:54,562 --> 00:05:56,855
Well, I can make this work
106
00:05:56,939 --> 00:05:58,899
I'll set it up right now.
I just need your go ahead
107
00:05:59,192 --> 00:06:01,860
Go do the voodoo
that you do so we
108
00:06:01,944 --> 00:06:02,986
I will do my voodoo
109
00:06:03,071 --> 00:06:04,237
Mmm-hmm
110
00:06:05,531 --> 00:06:07,282
Hey. I need you to get
the paperwork rolling
111
00:06:07,408 --> 00:06:09,117
on a new
workplace relationship
112
00:06:09,202 --> 00:06:10,202
For you?
113
00:06:10,286 --> 00:06:11,244
Yes, for Gabe
114
00:06:11,329 --> 00:06:12,496
Who are you seeing?
That's great
115
00:06:12,580 --> 00:06:15,957
Whom I am seeing is Val,
from down in the warehouse
116
00:06:16,584 --> 00:06:18,585
I'm not technically
seeing her
117
00:06:18,711 --> 00:06:20,712
but, I've seen
her with the eyes
118
00:06:20,797 --> 00:06:24,091
And there was attraction
in at least one direction,
so...
119
00:06:26,636 --> 00:06:29,638
You know, I don't have
to do paperwork unless
you're actually dating.
120
00:06:30,139 --> 00:06:32,516
Okay. Well, once this starts
it's gonna be moving fast,
121
00:06:32,600 --> 00:06:34,142
it's gonna be hot and heavy
and I don't want
122
00:06:34,227 --> 00:06:35,727
a bunch of
bureaucratic red tape
123
00:06:35,812 --> 00:06:37,270
wrapped around my jock
you know?
124
00:06:37,522 --> 00:06:39,856
But I mean,
well, have you
talked to her?
125
00:06:39,941 --> 00:06:42,692
Yeah. We had a whole
conversation about Mondays
126
00:06:43,194 --> 00:06:45,278
Do you know
her last name yet?
127
00:06:45,363 --> 00:06:47,364
Toby, I'm gonna tell you
her last name tomorrow
128
00:06:47,448 --> 00:06:49,408
because she's gonna be
screaming it tonight.
129
00:06:49,492 --> 00:06:51,410
She's gonna be screaming
her own last name?
130
00:06:51,619 --> 00:06:53,370
Hey, watch it
131
00:06:54,622 --> 00:06:56,039
Good luck, Gabe
132
00:06:56,332 --> 00:06:57,499
Hi, guys
Hi.
133
00:06:57,583 --> 00:07:01,753
I just wanna say that
you all have been doing
amazing work, really.
134
00:07:01,838 --> 00:07:03,630
Thank you.
And I'd like to add
135
00:07:03,714 --> 00:07:05,549
that your work has
been a little sloppy
136
00:07:05,675 --> 00:07:08,343
So, Dwight and I
have implemented
137
00:07:08,469 --> 00:07:11,138
a new program that
we like to call...
138
00:07:11,806 --> 00:07:12,931
...Dwight?
139
00:07:13,057 --> 00:07:14,224
The Accountability Booster
140
00:07:14,684 --> 00:07:17,769
It registers every time
a mistake has been
made in the office,
141
00:07:17,854 --> 00:07:20,689
from a late delivery
to an accounting error
142
00:07:20,815 --> 00:07:24,192
Five strikes in a day
equals a home run
143
00:07:24,277 --> 00:07:26,027
One home run
and you're out
144
00:07:26,779 --> 00:07:29,865
If we as a group make
five mistakes in a day
145
00:07:29,991 --> 00:07:33,368
something bad happens
Like, we block Minesweeper
146
00:07:33,536 --> 00:07:36,288
Or, in this case,
an e-mail gets sent
to Robert California
147
00:07:36,372 --> 00:07:38,123
containing the
consultant's report
from last year.
148
00:07:38,207 --> 00:07:40,542
Remember the one
that recommended
the branch be shut down?
149
00:07:40,626 --> 00:07:42,711
What?
And, as a failsafe, also
150
00:07:42,795 --> 00:07:45,881
every negative e-mail
you've ever written
about him to the group
151
00:07:45,965 --> 00:07:47,090
will also be
forwarded to him
152
00:07:47,175 --> 00:07:48,508
What e-mails are
you talking about?
153
00:07:48,593 --> 00:07:52,929
Robert's favorite
songs, Creep by TLC
Creep by Radiohead.
154
00:07:53,014 --> 00:07:54,556
You remember that one, Jim?
155
00:07:55,057 --> 00:07:57,851
"There's no way
he hasn't strangled
at least one stripper.'
156
00:07:57,935 --> 00:07:59,102
Oscar
157
00:07:59,562 --> 00:08:02,981
"He eats his yogurt
like he is punishing it
for disappointing him.'
158
00:08:03,065 --> 00:08:04,149
Kelly
159
00:08:04,233 --> 00:08:05,233
That's not that
bad, actually.
160
00:08:05,735 --> 00:08:07,068
PS, "We should
kill him."
161
00:08:08,237 --> 00:08:10,697
Wait. So, you installed
a doomsday device?
162
00:08:10,781 --> 00:08:12,491
No, it's an
Accountability Booster
163
00:08:12,575 --> 00:08:14,659
Which, when it goes off
it destroys everything
164
00:08:14,744 --> 00:08:16,077
very similar to
a doomsday device
165
00:08:16,162 --> 00:08:18,997
Jim, you're trying
to make me sound like
some kind of evil maniac
166
00:08:19,081 --> 00:08:22,042
No, the point is,
is that we are now
working in an environment
167
00:08:22,126 --> 00:08:25,420
where we have
accountability
to each other
168
00:08:25,588 --> 00:08:28,298
I am confident
that you guys are
equal to the task
169
00:08:28,799 --> 00:08:32,344
No, we're not.
And you are a psycho
who is ruining our lives
170
00:08:32,428 --> 00:08:34,095
We can't do this, Dwight.
We can't
171
00:08:35,431 --> 00:08:36,765
Smile
172
00:08:37,099 --> 00:08:38,808
Nod. Smile and nod
173
00:08:39,101 --> 00:08:41,186
They're making me out
to be a Bond villain.
174
00:08:41,270 --> 00:08:43,939
I like to think of myself
as a brilliant scientist
175
00:08:44,106 --> 00:08:46,816
who will stop at nothing
to remake the world.
176
00:08:47,401 --> 00:08:48,485
Like
177
00:08:50,112 --> 00:08:52,447
Not Doctor Moreau
someone good
178
00:08:53,991 --> 00:08:56,076
Doctor Frankenstein
179
00:08:56,160 --> 00:08:58,119
Doctor Jekyll, not them
180
00:08:59,997 --> 00:09:01,623
Doctor
181
00:09:05,127 --> 00:09:07,170
Are you sure
this is a good idea?
182
00:09:07,255 --> 00:09:10,257
I mean, the thing
about this office is
we make a lot of mistakes
183
00:09:10,466 --> 00:09:12,425
But the device
will change that
184
00:09:12,510 --> 00:09:14,844
Without a safety net
people will improve.
185
00:09:18,975 --> 00:09:21,643
All right, everybody,
looks like we need to
be getting to work.
186
00:09:21,727 --> 00:09:24,521
Be extra careful,
double-check everything
187
00:09:24,647 --> 00:09:26,690
Or the Accountability Booster
will get you.
188
00:09:26,774 --> 00:09:30,068
This doomsday device
sounds like
a scare tactic to me.
189
00:09:30,152 --> 00:09:32,737
There's an easy way to tell
if this device is a sham,
190
00:09:32,822 --> 00:09:34,698
we just make a mistake
191
00:09:35,032 --> 00:09:38,285
I'll send an order
down to shipping before
we've received payment
192
00:09:45,585 --> 00:09:47,419
There's one mistake
193
00:09:47,503 --> 00:09:49,504
Now we only have
four strikes left
until a home run.
194
00:09:49,589 --> 00:09:51,673
Dwight's our co-worker
and he worked really hard
195
00:09:51,757 --> 00:09:53,133
on this doomsday
device. So, I...
196
00:09:53,217 --> 00:09:55,760
it's not a doomsday
device! Gosh!
197
00:09:56,846 --> 00:09:58,513
We can do this, you guys
198
00:09:59,098 --> 00:10:00,181
First
199
00:10:00,266 --> 00:10:01,766
Second
it's not a race.
200
00:10:04,312 --> 00:10:05,437
Third
201
00:10:06,022 --> 00:10:07,314
Who knows
what the belt is for?
202
00:10:07,398 --> 00:10:08,773
It's for
protecting my ass
203
00:10:08,858 --> 00:10:10,525
when you suckers
lift more than
you can handle.
204
00:10:10,943 --> 00:10:11,985
What's up? I'm Gabe
205
00:10:12,528 --> 00:10:14,029
Corporate. Continue
206
00:10:14,238 --> 00:10:15,488
Don't be nervous
207
00:10:15,740 --> 00:10:17,032
Apparently,
we have a visitor
208
00:10:17,116 --> 00:10:18,116
Gabe, everyone
209
00:10:18,367 --> 00:10:19,367
Hi, Gabe
210
00:10:20,202 --> 00:10:22,912
All right
so the support belt.
Now this one is mine
211
00:10:22,997 --> 00:10:24,706
Doesn't get much
use nowadays.
212
00:10:24,874 --> 00:10:26,625
Look at this.
This is enormous
213
00:10:30,087 --> 00:10:33,214
I get the sense
that Val enjoys
a good put-down
214
00:10:33,382 --> 00:10:35,216
Considering
that's the only thing
I know about her,
215
00:10:35,343 --> 00:10:37,719
I will be milking that hard
216
00:10:38,471 --> 00:10:40,221
It's like a hula-hoop
right?
217
00:10:40,765 --> 00:10:44,142
Mele Kalikimaka
is Hawaii's way
218
00:10:46,979 --> 00:10:47,979
You done?
219
00:10:48,064 --> 00:10:50,732
The Michelin Man called,
he wants his cummerbund back
220
00:10:52,193 --> 00:10:55,195
Remember, we have
to get Regal Escrow
their refund by 5:00.
221
00:10:55,613 --> 00:10:56,613
I'm on it
222
00:10:56,781 --> 00:10:58,907
Kevin,
maybe I should
handle that.
223
00:10:59,283 --> 00:11:01,868
We really need you to
focus on your project.
224
00:11:02,078 --> 00:11:03,328
Good thinking
225
00:11:03,412 --> 00:11:06,414
Apparently
a big client for
this company
226
00:11:06,499 --> 00:11:09,584
needs to know the story
of how paper gets made
227
00:11:12,421 --> 00:11:14,798
Oscar, use a calculator
228
00:11:18,511 --> 00:11:22,222
When the stakes are this high
there's only one computer
that I trust
229
00:11:22,556 --> 00:11:25,600
And it's powered by
Thai food and Spanish reds
230
00:11:26,143 --> 00:11:27,394
All right, everybody
you're doing great.
231
00:11:27,478 --> 00:11:30,355
Well, I wouldn't say
that. Three mistakes
already is pretty terrible
232
00:11:30,439 --> 00:11:31,648
But I do see
improvement
233
00:11:31,732 --> 00:11:33,441
Meredith kept someone
on hold for 30 minutes,
234
00:11:33,526 --> 00:11:35,568
and now look
she's hard at work
235
00:11:36,612 --> 00:11:38,029
Dwight, question.
No questions
236
00:11:38,114 --> 00:11:39,614
If this doomsday
device goes off
237
00:11:39,699 --> 00:11:40,782
Accountability Booster
238
00:11:40,908 --> 00:11:41,991
If this bad idea goes off
239
00:11:42,076 --> 00:11:44,536
and we all lose our
jobs, are you gonna
feel good about that?
240
00:11:44,620 --> 00:11:45,912
I haven't even
considered it
241
00:11:45,996 --> 00:11:49,374
That's how sure I am
that this Accountability
Booster is gonna work
242
00:11:50,126 --> 00:11:51,501
Try "Mose-1-2-3-4.'
243
00:11:51,585 --> 00:11:53,753
Dwight would
never be that obvious
Try something like...
244
00:11:53,838 --> 00:11:56,715
"Z-6-4-$-8.'
245
00:11:57,299 --> 00:11:59,718
Not that exactly, Jim
something like that
246
00:11:59,802 --> 00:12:00,760
Okay
247
00:12:00,845 --> 00:12:03,388
How about
"Scranton-Strangler-6-6-6"?
248
00:12:04,724 --> 00:12:05,807
Nope
No?
249
00:12:05,891 --> 00:12:07,058
Aw...
250
00:12:07,143 --> 00:12:08,643
Shoot.
251
00:12:08,769 --> 00:12:11,354
You guys are never gonna
shut down the machine, okay?
252
00:12:11,605 --> 00:12:13,690
But I appreciate your energy
and your teamwork
253
00:12:13,774 --> 00:12:15,442
You apply this to
your regular work
254
00:12:15,526 --> 00:12:17,068
you won't even notice
that the device is there
255
00:12:17,153 --> 00:12:18,570
watching you
ready to strike
256
00:12:21,031 --> 00:12:22,365
What's Dwight's
mother's name?
257
00:12:22,992 --> 00:12:24,159
Hedda
258
00:12:26,871 --> 00:12:27,871
No
259
00:12:27,955 --> 00:12:29,998
Once you've read
the packet, sign the back
260
00:12:30,082 --> 00:12:31,750
Hey, Darryl.
I was thinking
261
00:12:31,834 --> 00:12:33,168
maybe while we
read through this
262
00:12:33,335 --> 00:12:34,711
you could grab us
all some coffee?
263
00:12:35,045 --> 00:12:36,337
My treat
264
00:12:37,047 --> 00:12:38,465
Here's a $1 00 bill
265
00:12:38,549 --> 00:12:40,133
That should cover it
I think.
266
00:12:40,259 --> 00:12:42,469
Don't bring me any
of that caramel soy
latte crap, okay?
267
00:12:42,553 --> 00:12:44,846
I want a decaf
frappuccino.
268
00:12:44,930 --> 00:12:45,930
Val?
269
00:12:46,015 --> 00:12:48,016
Actually, Val
why don't you come with?
270
00:12:48,100 --> 00:12:50,018
I'll need the extra hands
to carry them back.
271
00:12:50,102 --> 00:12:51,102
Yeah, sure
272
00:12:51,187 --> 00:12:52,312
Mmm-hmm
273
00:12:53,606 --> 00:12:54,647
Caramel soy latte
274
00:12:54,774 --> 00:12:55,815
No, a decaf frap
275
00:12:55,900 --> 00:12:57,108
Got it
276
00:12:59,737 --> 00:13:02,614
You sent the late
notice to Rinehart
and Wolfe, right?
277
00:13:03,199 --> 00:13:04,365
Mmm-hmm. 64620
278
00:13:07,703 --> 00:13:08,953
Nuh-uh.
Yes
279
00:13:09,038 --> 00:13:10,997
588 plus 1 5%
280
00:13:13,793 --> 00:13:15,710
Oh, no!
- What does this mean?
281
00:13:16,086 --> 00:13:17,629
What does it mean?
- Andy.
282
00:13:17,713 --> 00:13:18,963
Oh
283
00:13:20,424 --> 00:13:21,508
God
284
00:13:21,842 --> 00:13:22,967
That's five strikes
285
00:13:23,552 --> 00:13:24,636
Well
286
00:13:25,387 --> 00:13:28,890
I was saving this
for my retirement
which I guess is today
287
00:13:29,016 --> 00:13:30,183
Dwight, we got
five strikes.
288
00:13:31,811 --> 00:13:32,894
Really?
289
00:13:33,062 --> 00:13:34,145
Did the e-ma
go out or...
290
00:13:34,230 --> 00:13:35,688
It goes out
automatically
at 5:00 p.m
291
00:13:35,773 --> 00:13:37,774
Well, then there's
gotta be a way to stop it
292
00:13:37,942 --> 00:13:40,401
Well, I would have
to enter my password
in order to cancel it.
293
00:13:40,778 --> 00:13:41,903
Okay
294
00:13:41,987 --> 00:13:44,364
Dwight, you may now
enter your password.
295
00:13:44,990 --> 00:13:45,990
No
296
00:13:46,075 --> 00:13:47,158
What?
What?
297
00:13:47,243 --> 00:13:49,077
You don't deserve
to have this branch
298
00:13:49,161 --> 00:13:51,871
Five mistakes in
less than a day?
299
00:13:51,956 --> 00:13:53,164
We did our best
300
00:13:53,249 --> 00:13:54,999
No, you didn't, Phyllis
301
00:13:55,084 --> 00:13:56,501
You complained
the whole time,
302
00:13:56,585 --> 00:13:58,878
you yelled at me
you tried to break
into the machine.
303
00:14:00,089 --> 00:14:01,172
What?
304
00:14:01,257 --> 00:14:03,049
You're a real crumb bum
you know that?
305
00:14:03,133 --> 00:14:05,134
Hey, you can't
just change the rules
306
00:14:05,219 --> 00:14:07,178
because you don't
like the outcome.
307
00:14:07,263 --> 00:14:09,973
What about you, Kevin?
What about you
and your fake task?
308
00:14:10,057 --> 00:14:12,100
Can you tell me now
where paper comes from?
309
00:14:13,352 --> 00:14:15,603
The man tree
puts its penis
310
00:14:15,729 --> 00:14:17,689
Okay. All right, Andy,
back me up here, please
311
00:14:17,773 --> 00:14:18,773
No
312
00:14:19,024 --> 00:14:20,024
What?
No
313
00:14:20,109 --> 00:14:22,777
Dwight, be human for once
shut down the machine.
314
00:14:22,862 --> 00:14:24,654
Shut it down
Shut it down.
315
00:14:24,738 --> 00:14:26,030
Shut down the machine
316
00:14:26,115 --> 00:14:27,365
Shut it down
317
00:14:29,076 --> 00:14:31,619
good luck finding
a new job, idiots
318
00:14:31,745 --> 00:14:34,289
I'll make sure to write
you a glowing reference
319
00:14:34,373 --> 00:14:36,124
Glowingly negative
320
00:14:38,919 --> 00:14:40,086
Dwight's car is gone
321
00:14:40,754 --> 00:14:41,713
I bet he went home
322
00:14:41,797 --> 00:14:44,591
Some of us should go
there, try to talk
some sense into him.
323
00:14:44,675 --> 00:14:46,467
Get him to stop that e-mail
324
00:14:46,552 --> 00:14:49,470
Pam, you should come with
me. Dwight really likes you,
325
00:14:49,930 --> 00:14:51,556
and your breasts are
enormous, that could help us
326
00:14:52,099 --> 00:14:53,808
Kevin has that lovability
327
00:14:54,268 --> 00:14:55,768
Guys, come on
328
00:14:56,145 --> 00:14:57,228
I'm right here
329
00:14:57,313 --> 00:15:00,148
Jim, I want you
to go find Robert.
Just be where he is
330
00:15:00,232 --> 00:15:02,609
in case that e-ma
goes out at 5:00,
331
00:15:02,693 --> 00:15:04,986
you can try to
delete it or something
332
00:15:05,070 --> 00:15:06,237
Okay. Where is he?
333
00:15:06,322 --> 00:15:09,490
He's at some club
where you either eat
squash or play squash
334
00:15:10,868 --> 00:15:12,368
I'll try both
335
00:15:13,329 --> 00:15:14,579
Oh
336
00:15:14,663 --> 00:15:16,831
Did you come to
reason with me?
337
00:15:17,207 --> 00:15:18,458
Got you something
338
00:15:23,255 --> 00:15:26,674
And I just really
want to talk to you
339
00:15:26,842 --> 00:15:28,134
Get lost
340
00:15:28,302 --> 00:15:29,761
Well, now hold on
341
00:15:29,845 --> 00:15:30,887
What are you doing?
342
00:15:32,097 --> 00:15:33,473
What does it
look like I'm doing?
343
00:15:33,557 --> 00:15:35,016
Digging a grave
for a horse
344
00:15:38,354 --> 00:15:39,395
Do you need a hand?
345
00:15:40,856 --> 00:15:42,690
Yeah, you need a hand?
346
00:15:49,448 --> 00:15:52,075
If you hit another horse
you've dug too far
347
00:15:52,743 --> 00:15:54,953
I'II see you
next week, Will.
348
00:15:55,162 --> 00:15:56,371
Robert
349
00:15:57,039 --> 00:15:58,748
Jim, what are you
350
00:15:58,832 --> 00:15:59,874
What a surprise
351
00:15:59,959 --> 00:16:02,835
Yeah. Well, you know
I just had a meeting,
a squash meeting
352
00:16:02,920 --> 00:16:04,045
Yeah?
353
00:16:05,381 --> 00:16:06,422
You up for a game?
354
00:16:06,507 --> 00:16:07,882
A game? Or a match?
355
00:16:09,051 --> 00:16:10,802
Exactly! Here we go
356
00:16:11,053 --> 00:16:12,053
Let's do it
357
00:16:17,059 --> 00:16:18,810
Are you okay, Kevin?
358
00:16:22,314 --> 00:16:23,314
Where are you going?
359
00:16:23,399 --> 00:16:24,857
In. I'm hungry
360
00:16:25,067 --> 00:16:27,694
Could we come in, too?
Just for some water?
361
00:16:28,362 --> 00:16:29,904
Okay. Take off your shoes
362
00:16:29,989 --> 00:16:32,031
Except you, Kevin
They stay on
363
00:16:34,576 --> 00:16:37,245
Wow, I forgot how
pretty your house is
364
00:16:37,705 --> 00:16:41,457
This is the newest
addition, built by
Erasmus Schrute in 1808
365
00:16:41,542 --> 00:16:44,627
It doubled as
a tuberculosis recovery
room until 2009.
366
00:16:46,922 --> 00:16:49,132
That's too much doodle
and not enough lab
367
00:16:49,216 --> 00:16:51,968
Yeah, when are
they gonna do a Labradoodle
that's just lab?
368
00:16:52,052 --> 00:16:53,928
That's what I'm saying
369
00:16:58,350 --> 00:16:59,434
Hey
370
00:17:00,060 --> 00:17:01,811
You're welcome.
Thanks for the coffee
371
00:17:01,895 --> 00:17:04,480
So, tonight I was thinking,
I'm gonna go to the cemetery
372
00:17:04,565 --> 00:17:05,857
I'm gonna drink
a little wine
373
00:17:05,941 --> 00:17:07,775
and I thought
maybe you'd like
to come with me
374
00:17:08,527 --> 00:17:09,986
Are you asking me
on a date?
375
00:17:10,529 --> 00:17:11,904
Yes, I am
376
00:17:12,114 --> 00:17:13,448
Because I don't
date coworkers
377
00:17:13,657 --> 00:17:15,908
it's not personal.
it's a matter of policy
378
00:17:16,243 --> 00:17:17,368
I could quit
379
00:17:17,453 --> 00:17:18,453
Problem solved
380
00:17:18,537 --> 00:17:19,912
Don't quit
381
00:17:21,957 --> 00:17:23,916
Good policy
It's sensible
382
00:17:24,001 --> 00:17:25,168
Smart
383
00:17:26,962 --> 00:17:28,588
All right. Serving
384
00:17:28,672 --> 00:17:30,173
Serving, serving, serving
385
00:17:30,424 --> 00:17:32,383
In the box.
In the box
386
00:17:39,641 --> 00:17:41,768
Why haven't
we heard anything?
387
00:17:41,852 --> 00:17:44,645
It's 4:45
There's only
15 minutes left
388
00:17:44,980 --> 00:17:46,981
Oh, now you
can do math?
389
00:17:47,191 --> 00:17:48,983
Where were you
two hours ago
beautiful mind?
390
00:17:49,068 --> 00:17:50,735
I made a mistake
I'm sorry!
391
00:17:50,819 --> 00:17:52,904
I know how to save
the company, everyone
392
00:17:53,322 --> 00:17:56,407
Just write a petition,
get everyone's signature
393
00:17:56,492 --> 00:18:00,745
including our clients,
march down to Florida
394
00:18:00,829 --> 00:18:02,080
and shove it up your butt
395
00:18:04,500 --> 00:18:05,958
it's not that funny
396
00:18:17,513 --> 00:18:19,013
Pam, you got
something on
your shirt.
397
00:18:19,807 --> 00:18:21,599
Oh!
398
00:18:21,683 --> 00:18:25,019
Well, pobody's
nerfect, right?
399
00:18:25,354 --> 00:18:28,147
Did you just
have a stroke, Pam?
It's "nobody's perfect.'
400
00:18:28,774 --> 00:18:29,941
Nice stroke, Pam
401
00:18:30,025 --> 00:18:32,235
No, it's a jokey saying
402
00:18:32,319 --> 00:18:33,778
"Pobody's nerfect.'
403
00:18:33,862 --> 00:18:36,030
Like, I can't even
say those words right
404
00:18:37,366 --> 00:18:38,825
I hadn't heard that before
405
00:18:39,493 --> 00:18:40,952
That's funny
406
00:18:42,162 --> 00:18:43,538
Dwight,
there's just
the small
407
00:18:43,622 --> 00:18:47,041
You know what
would go so great
with this cabbage pie?
408
00:18:47,334 --> 00:18:48,292
Milk
409
00:18:48,377 --> 00:18:49,627
Any specific animal?
410
00:18:50,045 --> 00:18:52,463
I'm thinking cow
Don't say cow.
411
00:18:54,007 --> 00:18:56,134
What are you doing?
It's five to 5:00
412
00:18:56,218 --> 00:18:58,803
Just don't talk
about the e-mail, okay?
413
00:18:58,887 --> 00:19:01,347
He's gonna
cancel it on his own
I really think he will.
414
00:19:01,431 --> 00:19:03,349
That's insane
Just trust me.
415
00:19:03,433 --> 00:19:05,268
Trust you?
Like I trusted
Dwight this morning?
416
00:19:05,352 --> 00:19:06,686
I got this
417
00:19:11,900 --> 00:19:13,359
Thanks for everything
418
00:19:13,443 --> 00:19:14,819
Sive drafely
419
00:19:19,032 --> 00:19:21,659
Wasn't it supposed
to be drive safely?
420
00:19:25,747 --> 00:19:26,956
Is that my phone?
421
00:19:28,625 --> 00:19:29,834
Sounded like mine
422
00:19:29,918 --> 00:19:32,920
No, I think it's mine
Let me just check
real quick here
423
00:19:33,005 --> 00:19:34,255
All right
424
00:19:34,339 --> 00:19:37,091
No, it's mine.
You took it out of my bag
425
00:19:37,509 --> 00:19:39,051
Oh. Oops
426
00:19:39,136 --> 00:19:40,970
Yeah
Can I have it?
427
00:19:41,096 --> 00:19:42,138
Yes
428
00:19:43,849 --> 00:19:44,849
Right now?
429
00:19:44,933 --> 00:19:45,933
Yes
There you go
430
00:19:46,018 --> 00:19:47,894
Whoa! No! Wait, wait
431
00:19:48,604 --> 00:19:49,604
What the *?
432
00:19:49,688 --> 00:19:50,688
Oh, man
I'm sorry!
433
00:19:50,772 --> 00:19:52,565
Jesus!
Did it break?
434
00:19:53,025 --> 00:19:54,859
No, it's good, thanks.
You sure?
435
00:19:54,943 --> 00:19:56,110
Yeah
436
00:19:56,278 --> 00:19:57,445
What kind of
iPhone is that?
437
00:19:58,947 --> 00:20:00,656
It's the standard one,
the one everyone has
438
00:20:00,741 --> 00:20:03,117
Yeah. I have
the one that
nobody has.
439
00:20:03,202 --> 00:20:05,369
Is there anything
interesting?
440
00:20:05,454 --> 00:20:07,788
It depends, Jim.
Do you find one-day-only
441
00:20:07,956 --> 00:20:10,291
JetBlue sales to
Buffalo interesting?
442
00:20:11,960 --> 00:20:14,795
No, I don't
443
00:20:18,759 --> 00:20:19,967
All right
444
00:20:20,719 --> 00:20:24,555
Well, I am sore and
obviously horrible at this
445
00:20:24,640 --> 00:20:25,932
My serve
446
00:20:31,313 --> 00:20:33,022
Dwight stopped the device
447
00:20:33,815 --> 00:20:34,857
Yes
448
00:20:37,569 --> 00:20:39,070
He stopped it
449
00:20:39,905 --> 00:20:40,905
Yes
450
00:20:40,989 --> 00:20:42,323
We still have our jobs
451
00:20:42,699 --> 00:20:44,408
They're not
my favorite people
in the world
452
00:20:44,534 --> 00:20:46,160
I wouldn't even
call them friends.
453
00:20:46,245 --> 00:20:48,663
They come over here,
eat my pie,
454
00:20:48,747 --> 00:20:51,707
dig the crappiest horse grave
you've ever seen.
455
00:20:52,000 --> 00:20:55,544
God, I'm gonna have
to work with them
forever, aren't l?
456
00:20:57,673 --> 00:21:00,049
Just take it easy
Nice and easy
457
00:21:02,678 --> 00:21:03,678
Classic, right?
458
00:21:14,189 --> 00:21:15,356
Ooh
459
00:21:15,440 --> 00:21:16,899
I'm all right.
You all right?
460
00:21:17,025 --> 00:21:18,442
Yeah.
Skinned knee
461
00:21:18,527 --> 00:21:19,610
Yeah
462
00:21:22,322 --> 00:21:23,781
Need a little ice
on that, maybe.
463
00:21:23,865 --> 00:21:26,534
Yeah. That does
not feel good.
464
00:21:26,660 --> 00:21:28,244
Okay. My serve
32976
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