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1
00:00:03,628 --> 00:00:06,922
Hey, so this isn't
matching up with this
2
00:00:07,007 --> 00:00:08,465
and I'm not sure
which one is right
3
00:00:08,550 --> 00:00:10,175
Can you just hunt down
the original for me?
4
00:00:10,260 --> 00:00:11,760
Yes, me do
5
00:00:11,845 --> 00:00:13,512
All right
6
00:00:18,143 --> 00:00:20,519
Hey, KevKev,
what were you saying before
about the paperwork?
7
00:00:21,229 --> 00:00:24,440
Me do it now.
Go. Stop worry
8
00:00:25,483 --> 00:00:26,859
Kevin, do you feel okay?
9
00:00:26,943 --> 00:00:30,863
Me feel good. Body strong
Sleep big last night
10
00:00:30,947 --> 00:00:32,364
Yeah,
I think we should get him
to the hospital.
11
00:00:32,449 --> 00:00:33,824
Yeah, all right, Kev
why don't you come with us?
12
00:00:33,908 --> 00:00:35,534
No, he's fine.
- No, no, guys
He's fine.
13
00:00:35,702 --> 00:00:36,702
He's always
been like that
14
00:00:36,786 --> 00:00:37,828
No, he hasn't
15
00:00:37,912 --> 00:00:40,581
I mean, he's gotten worse
over the years, but
16
00:00:40,665 --> 00:00:41,915
He's making a statement
17
00:00:42,000 --> 00:00:44,168
It's an ironic comment
on our expectations of him
18
00:00:44,794 --> 00:00:47,671
A funhouse image of
our model of Kevin.
19
00:00:47,881 --> 00:00:49,465
You keep think that
20
00:00:49,799 --> 00:00:52,176
Me mechanic
not speak English
21
00:00:52,260 --> 00:00:55,637
but he know
what me mean when
me say, "Car no go.'
22
00:00:55,722 --> 00:00:57,222
And we best friends
23
00:00:57,307 --> 00:01:02,144
So me think
why waste time say lot word
when few word do trick.
24
00:01:03,063 --> 00:01:05,773
Kevin, I appreciate
what you're trying to do
25
00:01:05,857 --> 00:01:06,899
Thank
26
00:01:07,400 --> 00:01:10,069
Here we have
a word code
27
00:01:10,153 --> 00:01:11,570
Same way we have
a dress code.
28
00:01:11,654 --> 00:01:14,198
And what we're
talking about is
29
00:01:15,075 --> 00:01:19,161
basically
the speech equivalent
to just wearing underpants
30
00:01:20,330 --> 00:01:24,208
Sometimes words
you no need use
31
00:01:25,627 --> 00:01:27,878
but need need
for talk talk.
32
00:01:28,505 --> 00:01:30,923
But save time.
More success
33
00:01:31,007 --> 00:01:33,884
Does it save time, though?
Because we've been
here for about an hour
34
00:01:33,968 --> 00:01:35,219
No me fault
35
00:01:36,096 --> 00:01:40,140
Kevin, at most you're saving
a microscopic amount of time
36
00:01:41,559 --> 00:01:44,144
Many small time
make big time.
37
00:01:44,854 --> 00:01:46,313
What are you going to
do with all this time?
38
00:01:46,731 --> 00:01:48,065
See world
39
00:01:48,149 --> 00:01:50,776
Kevin, you can't possibly
save enough time
to see the world
40
00:01:50,860 --> 00:01:54,446
Kevin, are you
saying "see the world'
or SeaWorld?
41
00:01:54,531 --> 00:01:59,618
See world
Oceans. Fish
Jump. China.
42
00:01:59,702 --> 00:02:02,996
No, see? Right there
that's the problem
with your method
43
00:02:03,081 --> 00:02:06,083
because I still don't know
if you're saying
SeaWorld or < 00:02:07,709
And it's taking a lot
of time to explain it
45
00:02:08,837 --> 00:02:11,672
Fine,
fine, I'll talk normally
46
00:02:12,590 --> 00:02:15,717
When me president
they see
47
00:02:17,720 --> 00:02:18,762
They see
48
00:02:52,046 --> 00:02:57,217
This week we are rolling out
the brand new Sabre tablet,
the Pyramid.
49
00:02:57,302 --> 00:02:59,052
Why is it
shaped like that?
50
00:02:59,137 --> 00:03:02,598
So you can tell your clients
"Unleash the power
of the pyramid
51
00:03:02,974 --> 00:03:04,725
It's huge
How much does it weigh?
52
00:03:04,809 --> 00:03:06,518
Oh, no, no, no
Without the battery pack
53
00:03:06,603 --> 00:03:08,896
and the optional
memory booster,
it's barely 3 pounds
54
00:03:08,980 --> 00:03:10,564
How much memory
does it have
without the booster?
55
00:03:10,648 --> 00:03:11,773
Fifty L
56
00:03:12,066 --> 00:03:13,358
I'm sorry, "L"?
- Mmm-hmm
57
00:03:13,443 --> 00:03:14,693
How many I to a K?
58
00:03:14,819 --> 00:03:16,111
DWIGHT
You're really going to
want the booster.
59
00:03:16,196 --> 00:03:17,237
How on earth are
we supposed to sell
60
00:03:17,322 --> 00:03:18,363
I'll take five
61
00:03:18,698 --> 00:03:20,866
Andy, don't make us
sell this stupid thing
62
00:03:20,950 --> 00:03:22,451
Oh, no, no, no, no, no
This is Dwight's meeting
63
00:03:22,535 --> 00:03:24,494
Thank you. The
I just wanted to pop in
64
00:03:24,579 --> 00:03:27,122
and get your opinions
on ties and tie clips.
65
00:03:27,457 --> 00:03:29,208
Which combo do you think
Robert's going to like more?
66
00:03:29,292 --> 00:03:30,459
What do you think, C-Span?
67
00:03:33,254 --> 00:03:34,213
"C-Span"?
68
00:03:34,297 --> 00:03:36,381
Yeah, C-Span.
Cocker spaniel
69
00:03:36,966 --> 00:03:38,967
Spaniel because of
your Spanish bloodline
Cocker because
70
00:03:42,055 --> 00:03:44,765
Is this really the best use
of our collective time?
71
00:03:44,849 --> 00:03:47,726
I am still forming
a first impression
with Robert
72
00:03:47,810 --> 00:03:50,229
Once it is formed
we can all relax, okay?
73
00:03:50,313 --> 00:03:53,649
I'm sorry to
hijack your meeting,
D-Dub-Dog, had to pull rank
74
00:03:56,861 --> 00:03:59,446
Okay, let's look
at some ties.
75
00:04:00,114 --> 00:04:02,157
Here's how I'm
going to help out
from now on.
76
00:04:02,242 --> 00:04:03,784
I'm going to not care
77
00:04:03,868 --> 00:04:05,661
And I'm going to
sit around quietly
78
00:04:05,745 --> 00:04:07,996
waiting for Andy's
inevitable demise
79
00:04:09,207 --> 00:04:10,457
Your friend
Neil Patrick Harris
80
00:04:10,541 --> 00:04:12,251
really made me laugh
the other night.
81
00:04:12,335 --> 00:04:14,002
D Dog, you have a message
82
00:04:14,170 --> 00:04:15,837
Erin, you don't
need to call him that
83
00:04:15,964 --> 00:04:17,923
Andy wants us to, P Dog
84
00:04:18,007 --> 00:04:19,675
It's okay, E Dog
Who called?
85
00:04:19,801 --> 00:04:21,510
Justine. She said
she's coming by later
86
00:04:22,136 --> 00:04:23,303
Your ex-wife?
87
00:04:23,388 --> 00:04:24,763
Wait, I thought
she was a *
88
00:04:24,847 --> 00:04:26,556
and you *
hated her guts
89
00:04:27,725 --> 00:04:29,643
No, no, no, I like her
90
00:04:29,727 --> 00:04:31,603
Well, I was just
quoting you
91
00:04:31,688 --> 00:04:33,855
I would never
say that about her.
I don't know the woman
92
00:04:34,232 --> 00:04:37,734
No, man.
We get along now
real well
93
00:04:37,819 --> 00:04:39,611
All right
Can't wait to meet her
94
00:04:39,696 --> 00:04:41,196
I'll introduce you
95
00:04:41,281 --> 00:04:43,490
Yeah, we had a few fights
I suppose
96
00:04:43,574 --> 00:04:46,159
but last night we put
a lot of that to bed.
97
00:04:46,244 --> 00:04:49,538
I can't tell you
what I did with my
ex-wife last night
98
00:04:50,790 --> 00:04:51,999
I have to sing it
99
00:04:52,083 --> 00:04:53,959
We took a shower
100
00:04:54,043 --> 00:04:55,836
We were naked
101
00:04:56,337 --> 00:04:57,337
We...
102
00:05:07,974 --> 00:05:08,974
Oh
103
00:05:10,101 --> 00:05:12,436
Hi, Dad. l
Oh, boy.
104
00:05:14,188 --> 00:05:16,064
Hello, Andy
Excellent tie
105
00:05:16,858 --> 00:05:19,234
Would you be requiring
a cold beverage
while you're here?
106
00:05:19,319 --> 00:05:20,986
I'd love some coffee
107
00:05:21,904 --> 00:05:25,615
I was looking
over your projections and
I think we can do better
108
00:05:25,700 --> 00:05:31,288
Are you factoring in
the whole national economy
declining and all that?
109
00:05:31,372 --> 00:05:33,165
Andy, do you know
why I chose you?
110
00:05:33,249 --> 00:05:35,417
I think I can sum it up
with what I think
111
00:05:35,501 --> 00:05:37,627
is your favorite
ice cream flavor
112
00:05:38,755 --> 00:05:39,755
Vanilla?
113
00:05:39,881 --> 00:05:40,964
Vanilla? No
114
00:05:42,091 --> 00:05:44,885
You'll never guess in
a million billion years
you'll never guess
115
00:05:45,636 --> 00:05:49,139
You were saying you chose me
There was a reason
116
00:05:50,767 --> 00:05:54,519
Andy, can you inspire?
Do you have that skill set?
117
00:05:56,606 --> 00:05:59,608
Can I inspire?
I don't know
118
00:06:01,319 --> 00:06:02,611
I don't know
119
00:06:03,905 --> 00:06:05,280
Oh, thank you
120
00:06:05,365 --> 00:06:06,365
Oh, sorry
121
00:06:06,449 --> 00:06:07,991
Yeah, just put it down
122
00:06:18,461 --> 00:06:19,586
Mmm
123
00:06:20,880 --> 00:06:22,839
That is very cold
124
00:06:23,466 --> 00:06:24,716
Yeah, it's old
125
00:06:26,260 --> 00:06:27,260
Why would l
126
00:06:27,345 --> 00:06:28,345
I asked if you
wanted a cold beverage
127
00:06:28,429 --> 00:06:29,638
and you said coffee
128
00:06:30,473 --> 00:06:34,017
Why don't we get Robert
a nice, hot, fresh cup
and I will have this.
129
00:06:34,102 --> 00:06:35,435
Andy, you don't
want that.
130
00:06:35,520 --> 00:06:37,979
I've been craving
a freezing cup of
old coffee.
131
00:06:38,147 --> 00:06:39,231
Mmm
132
00:06:39,440 --> 00:06:40,440
Sorry
133
00:06:42,819 --> 00:06:43,860
You like her
134
00:06:46,322 --> 00:06:47,614
I do. Yeah
135
00:06:47,698 --> 00:06:48,990
She likes you
136
00:06:49,158 --> 00:06:51,952
You know, we've both
been into each other
at different times
137
00:06:52,036 --> 00:06:53,703
and just never
really synced up
138
00:06:54,080 --> 00:06:55,831
Now we're in
this weird dance
and now we're...
139
00:06:55,915 --> 00:06:57,707
I'm afraid you've
lost my interest
140
00:07:00,128 --> 00:07:01,586
Let me call you back
141
00:07:01,671 --> 00:07:02,754
I got to go
142
00:07:07,301 --> 00:07:09,386
If the office superstore
was supposed to
143
00:07:09,470 --> 00:07:11,763
put us little suppliers
out of business
144
00:07:11,848 --> 00:07:13,348
why are we still here?
145
00:07:16,269 --> 00:07:18,103
Yeah
This is where we go.
146
00:07:18,438 --> 00:07:21,189
You'd go someplace else
That's not it
That's not the answer.
147
00:07:21,441 --> 00:07:23,358
It's a answer.
It's a wrong answer
148
00:07:23,443 --> 00:07:24,818
There are no wrong answers
149
00:07:24,902 --> 00:07:26,570
Take a look
at where you are
150
00:07:27,196 --> 00:07:32,367
Where you once worked
in a dying industry,
you now work at its birth
151
00:07:33,161 --> 00:07:37,372
Those superstores
are terrified of us.
152
00:07:37,957 --> 00:07:39,124
Anybody know why?
153
00:07:41,294 --> 00:07:42,627
Wait, they're terrified?
154
00:07:42,712 --> 00:07:45,547
Let me tell you
how I buy something
these days
155
00:07:45,756 --> 00:07:48,467
I know what I want,
I go on the Internet
and get the best price
156
00:07:48,551 --> 00:07:54,139
Or I don't know what I want
and I go to a small store
that can help me
157
00:07:54,557 --> 00:07:58,560
The era of
personal service is back
You are back.
158
00:07:58,895 --> 00:08:02,481
You'll find that
customers will pay
our higher prices
159
00:08:02,565 --> 00:08:04,107
and then they w
thank us
160
00:08:04,609 --> 00:08:07,194
and we will say to them
"You are welcome."
161
00:08:12,450 --> 00:08:13,658
Thank you
162
00:08:13,743 --> 00:08:14,910
Ooh
163
00:08:16,329 --> 00:08:19,831
Andrew,
I chose you for a reason
Lead these people.
164
00:08:19,916 --> 00:08:22,834
Show me the best numbers
this place has ever seen.
165
00:08:22,919 --> 00:08:26,379
Last quarter we saw
4% growth. Double it
166
00:08:26,923 --> 00:08:27,923
You got it
Double.
167
00:08:28,007 --> 00:08:29,007
Done
I'm not kidding.
168
00:08:29,091 --> 00:08:30,258
Neither am l
It's already done
169
00:08:31,928 --> 00:08:32,969
I'm just kidding
170
00:08:32,970 --> 00:08:34,679
It's going to
take some time.
Double
171
00:08:41,938 --> 00:08:42,938
Hey
172
00:08:55,159 --> 00:08:56,743
What's up, guys?
173
00:08:57,286 --> 00:08:59,663
Just thought we'd have
a little rap session.
174
00:08:59,747 --> 00:09:02,624
Talk about business.
See how things are going
175
00:09:06,295 --> 00:09:07,420
Why don't you start?
176
00:09:07,505 --> 00:09:08,880
If no one else wants to
177
00:09:09,632 --> 00:09:12,801
I was just
thinking about Robert
Man, what a boss.
178
00:09:13,970 --> 00:09:16,596
Just throws down goals
you know?
179
00:09:16,681 --> 00:09:19,182
Anyway, how's the sales
doubling project going?
180
00:09:19,267 --> 00:09:20,600
Yeah, how are we
supposed to do that?
181
00:09:20,685 --> 00:09:22,394
We can't just
press a magic button
182
00:09:22,478 --> 00:09:24,771
Of course not.
There's no magic button
183
00:09:24,855 --> 00:09:28,066
You have to summon that
184
00:09:28,150 --> 00:09:31,069
If we could just
double our sales,
we already would have
185
00:09:31,153 --> 00:09:32,571
You're not
making any sense
186
00:09:32,697 --> 00:09:34,155
He brings up
two good points
187
00:09:34,490 --> 00:09:37,993
Do you have any new leads?
And new territories
you want us to look into?
188
00:09:38,369 --> 00:09:39,995
Maybe have an in
with a big client
189
00:09:40,079 --> 00:09:41,663
that we could get
our foot in the door?
190
00:09:42,623 --> 00:09:43,748
Dwight, anything?
191
00:09:44,375 --> 00:09:46,793
We could talk about
how fast children grow up
192
00:09:46,877 --> 00:09:48,670
and before you know it
they're out of the house
193
00:09:48,754 --> 00:09:52,215
You know what?
We need to get our
heads out of the box
194
00:09:52,300 --> 00:09:54,050
If we did have something
195
00:09:55,261 --> 00:09:57,637
what would it look like?
What would it be?
196
00:09:57,722 --> 00:09:58,805
Tuna
197
00:09:58,889 --> 00:10:00,932
New leads,
new territory to
look into
198
00:10:01,017 --> 00:10:02,350
maybe an in with
a big company
199
00:10:02,435 --> 00:10:04,894
that we could get
our foot in the door
200
00:10:06,606 --> 00:10:07,647
Fart
201
00:10:09,692 --> 00:10:11,026
Good sesh
202
00:10:12,361 --> 00:10:13,862
That leg's asleep
203
00:10:17,825 --> 00:10:18,825
Hello
204
00:10:19,827 --> 00:10:21,328
I'm looking for
Darryl Philbin?
205
00:10:21,412 --> 00:10:22,537
Don't
206
00:10:22,622 --> 00:10:23,747
Oh
207
00:10:23,831 --> 00:10:26,166
You must think...
No, I'm not
I'm using the fax
208
00:10:26,250 --> 00:10:27,709
This isn't
No, wait.
209
00:10:27,793 --> 00:10:30,462
I'm not supposed
to represent
the company, right?
210
00:10:30,546 --> 00:10:32,005
There's usually
an Erin here, so
211
00:10:32,089 --> 00:10:33,214
Okay
212
00:10:34,133 --> 00:10:35,675
Darryl, a girl
213
00:10:37,470 --> 00:10:41,598
Rub a dub, dub, apricot scrub
214
00:10:41,682 --> 00:10:42,766
What's up, darling?
215
00:10:42,892 --> 00:10:44,643
Everybody
this is Justine
216
00:10:45,144 --> 00:10:46,978
Hi, Justine
- Hello.
217
00:10:47,063 --> 00:10:49,814
This is Jim, Oscar
218
00:10:49,899 --> 00:10:50,857
Hi
219
00:10:50,941 --> 00:10:52,942
Everybody
220
00:10:53,277 --> 00:10:54,444
Kevin
221
00:10:58,240 --> 00:11:00,158
Can we go
someplace private?
222
00:11:00,242 --> 00:11:01,910
Follow me.
I got a space
223
00:11:03,287 --> 00:11:06,581
After you
I've been thinking
about you all morning
224
00:11:06,666 --> 00:11:09,376
I don't know what you did
I can barely walk today.
225
00:11:14,715 --> 00:11:16,257
D Bone, there you are
226
00:11:16,342 --> 00:11:19,177
Let me guess
Somebody needs a brownie
227
00:11:19,261 --> 00:11:20,261
Lick the spoon?
228
00:11:20,346 --> 00:11:21,388
No. No. That's okay
229
00:11:21,597 --> 00:11:24,057
I just,
I wanted to ask you about
230
00:11:24,141 --> 00:11:25,517
Is this about
the profits?
231
00:11:25,601 --> 00:11:28,853
Because if it is,
I just don't see the point
It's so Wall Street.
232
00:11:29,605 --> 00:11:32,107
I know, right? Yeah
233
00:11:33,150 --> 00:11:34,317
Um
234
00:11:35,069 --> 00:11:36,778
How is everything?
235
00:11:37,446 --> 00:11:39,155
Good.
Really, really good
236
00:11:39,240 --> 00:11:41,241
Must be a tough time
to be a family farm.
237
00:11:41,325 --> 00:11:44,285
It is
And beets are
not immune
238
00:11:44,370 --> 00:11:47,872
I made some inroads in salad
but heirloom tomatoes are
pushing back.
239
00:11:48,666 --> 00:11:50,458
What are you going to
do about that?
240
00:11:51,293 --> 00:11:52,794
I don't know,
what do you mean?
241
00:11:52,878 --> 00:11:54,921
Got to be some way
you could double
your beet sales
242
00:11:55,005 --> 00:11:57,966
You wanted the job
the job is yours,
just do the job.
243
00:12:00,469 --> 00:12:01,886
And I'll do mine
244
00:12:03,973 --> 00:12:05,140
Walnuts?
245
00:12:05,808 --> 00:12:06,975
No
246
00:12:12,606 --> 00:12:14,023
Have you seen this?
247
00:12:14,150 --> 00:12:15,191
Parenting? Yeah.
248
00:12:15,276 --> 00:12:16,609
This is Cece's
favorite magazine
249
00:12:16,694 --> 00:12:18,319
She loves
the pictures of babies
250
00:12:18,404 --> 00:12:20,613
She looks at it
when she's on the potty
and she makes the faces
251
00:12:20,698 --> 00:12:22,115
Have you read it?
252
00:12:22,199 --> 00:12:25,702
Has an adult
member of your family
read this particular issue?
253
00:12:26,704 --> 00:12:27,954
I flipped through it
254
00:12:28,038 --> 00:12:30,290
So you saw the article
on the importance of
255
00:12:30,374 --> 00:12:32,584
taking frequent walks
while you're pregnant?
256
00:12:32,668 --> 00:12:34,377
Of course, yeah.
- We know that
257
00:12:34,670 --> 00:12:36,880
I will be taking
a morning walk and
an afternoon walk.
258
00:12:36,964 --> 00:12:38,673
Would you like to
join me?
259
00:12:38,758 --> 00:12:39,758
That sounds nice
260
00:12:39,842 --> 00:12:40,842
Great
261
00:12:42,303 --> 00:12:43,845
You have a walking buddy
262
00:12:44,346 --> 00:12:45,555
I do
263
00:12:46,223 --> 00:12:47,599
Thanks for
coming in, guys
264
00:12:47,683 --> 00:12:50,143
You don't have to
thank us for coming in
It's our job
265
00:12:50,227 --> 00:12:52,729
Well, I never got thanked
for coming into a meeting
266
00:12:52,813 --> 00:12:54,856
and I always wanted
to be, so I 00:12:56,816
What's under the blanket?
268
00:12:57,193 --> 00:12:59,527
This is what's
under the blanket
269
00:13:00,905 --> 00:13:02,030
We don't get it
270
00:13:02,406 --> 00:13:05,909
These are incentives.
It's how we're
going to double growth
271
00:13:06,160 --> 00:13:09,662
Now, you're probably
all asking yourselves
"Well, how does this work?'
272
00:13:10,039 --> 00:13:13,500
It seems like
a basic reward system
where you give us points
273
00:13:13,584 --> 00:13:15,877
and then we redeem
those points for prizes
274
00:13:15,961 --> 00:13:17,962
You're exactly right
and you get a point
275
00:13:18,047 --> 00:13:20,173
Oh.
Uh, is that a vibrator?
276
00:13:20,716 --> 00:13:21,716
20 points
277
00:13:21,801 --> 00:13:22,884
How does one get a point?
278
00:13:22,968 --> 00:13:24,511
I've outlined
the exact parameters
279
00:13:24,595 --> 00:13:26,137
in an email
so check your spam folders
280
00:13:26,222 --> 00:13:29,724
But basically, you
do your job better
you get points.
281
00:13:29,809 --> 00:13:34,145
So collect 15 points
and redeem them
for this polar bear.
282
00:13:34,438 --> 00:13:37,440
Why is it all kids' stuff
and a vibrator?
It's so gross.
283
00:13:37,733 --> 00:13:39,400
There's lots of stuff
284
00:13:39,944 --> 00:13:42,070
John Irving,
collected works
22 points.
285
00:13:42,154 --> 00:13:48,409
Or you can pool your points
and redeem 55 for
this maternity shirt. Ahem
286
00:13:48,494 --> 00:13:50,745
How about you want
us to work harder,
pay us more.
287
00:13:50,830 --> 00:13:51,830
I can't
288
00:13:51,914 --> 00:13:53,373
This points system
is really insulting.
289
00:13:53,582 --> 00:13:54,624
Ooh
290
00:13:54,708 --> 00:13:57,710
I didn't mean to offend you
and I hope you'll forgive me
291
00:13:57,795 --> 00:14:01,297
because I am very
very "sari."
16 points
292
00:14:01,549 --> 00:14:02,549
That's a tablecloth
293
00:14:02,633 --> 00:14:04,342
What if we went
all the way up to
500 points?
294
00:14:04,426 --> 00:14:05,844
That's a crazy
amount of points
295
00:14:05,928 --> 00:14:07,887
But what if?
Well, what do you want?
296
00:14:08,514 --> 00:14:10,181
I don't know.
For such a crazy number
297
00:14:10,266 --> 00:14:11,641
I'd like
something pretty crazy
298
00:14:11,725 --> 00:14:14,978
All right, for 500 points,
I will wear a dress to work
299
00:14:17,022 --> 00:14:20,441
That's pretty good
What about
for 1,000 points?
300
00:14:20,526 --> 00:14:22,527
I'll run naked
through the parking lot
301
00:14:22,611 --> 00:14:24,028
with a donut
on my ding dong
302
00:14:25,406 --> 00:14:26,531
Yeah, you like that?
303
00:14:26,782 --> 00:14:28,950
All right
for 5,000 points
304
00:14:29,034 --> 00:14:31,786
I will let you
tattoo whatever you want
305
00:14:31,871 --> 00:14:34,622
on the stern of
the old S.S. Bernard
306
00:14:35,291 --> 00:14:36,374
No
Really?
307
00:14:36,458 --> 00:14:38,376
All right. All right
And you are
totally serious?
308
00:14:38,460 --> 00:14:40,962
Swear to God. Hope to die
Now let's get to work.
309
00:14:41,046 --> 00:14:43,798
Wait, but you did say
we can pool our points
right?
310
00:14:44,300 --> 00:14:45,633
In that case
311
00:14:45,718 --> 00:14:47,343
let's get to work, guys
- Yeah!
312
00:14:48,387 --> 00:14:49,888
Let's do it, guys
313
00:14:49,972 --> 00:14:51,139
Good
314
00:14:52,933 --> 00:14:54,976
I can have it to you
by the beginning
of next week.
315
00:14:55,060 --> 00:14:56,352
All right
thank you very much
316
00:14:57,479 --> 00:14:59,230
Phyllis, Brachen Auto?
317
00:14:59,315 --> 00:15:01,065
Ask for Donald.
Karen's bananas
318
00:15:01,150 --> 00:15:02,317
Okay
319
00:15:03,444 --> 00:15:04,527
T-Bag-Bone
320
00:15:04,653 --> 00:15:05,737
Andrew
321
00:15:05,821 --> 00:15:07,488
DWIGHT
Hold on, one second
322
00:15:08,365 --> 00:15:11,075
Have you noticed a little
bit of a mood shift
around here?
323
00:15:11,827 --> 00:15:13,244
No. I haven't
noticed anything
324
00:15:13,329 --> 00:15:18,917
Really? Because I sat
next to Stanley for years
and this is nap time.
325
00:15:19,001 --> 00:15:21,085
Open eye nap time.
He balances the phone
on his shoulder
326
00:15:21,170 --> 00:15:22,170
and just powers down
327
00:15:22,254 --> 00:15:23,254
Now look at him
328
00:15:23,339 --> 00:15:26,466
You've got to unleash
the power of the pyramid
329
00:15:26,550 --> 00:15:28,468
I don't know what
to tell you, man
330
00:15:29,678 --> 00:15:32,221
Do you think it has
something to do with
that incentive program?
331
00:15:32,306 --> 00:15:34,182
Oh, 100%
We all want to see
you tattoo your ass
332
00:15:34,433 --> 00:15:35,516
Uh.
333
00:15:36,018 --> 00:15:38,102
I think people
thought I was kidding
when I said that.
334
00:15:38,187 --> 00:15:39,437
No. You definitely
weren't kidding.
335
00:15:39,521 --> 00:15:41,064
That came across
loud and clear.
336
00:15:41,148 --> 00:15:42,732
Oh, by the way,
I want to hand this in
337
00:15:42,816 --> 00:15:43,942
120 points?
338
00:15:44,026 --> 00:15:45,193
Yeah. Big sale
339
00:15:45,694 --> 00:15:48,154
Don't worry about it, though
I don't really
care about the points
340
00:15:48,238 --> 00:15:49,906
I would like
a point receipt though
341
00:15:49,990 --> 00:15:52,283
Hey, yes
this is Jim Halpert
calling for Donald.
342
00:15:52,368 --> 00:15:54,494
Can you hold on
for one second?
Thank you very much
343
00:15:54,578 --> 00:15:57,246
Who talked to
Maggie at Kaufman's?
344
00:16:02,461 --> 00:16:04,963
And I'm back
How are you, sir?
345
00:16:06,382 --> 00:16:09,050
I think you can squeeze
a couple more
golf games in, right?
346
00:16:09,426 --> 00:16:12,053
Where's Angela?
Angela, these are yours
347
00:16:15,599 --> 00:16:16,808
Hey, Kevin,
what are you doing?
348
00:16:16,892 --> 00:16:18,059
Don't talk to me
349
00:16:25,150 --> 00:16:26,234
Yeah
350
00:16:27,319 --> 00:16:30,071
Hi. Professor Frank
Andy Bernard, class of '95
351
00:16:30,572 --> 00:16:35,451
Hey there, I'm a huge fan
of your management book
Management.
352
00:16:35,536 --> 00:16:38,830
Uh, quick question
I may be missing
a chapter here:
353
00:16:38,914 --> 00:16:41,666
"De-incentivizing."
What are your strategies?
354
00:16:41,750 --> 00:16:43,418
I'm looking for
a real blow to morale
355
00:16:44,420 --> 00:16:45,586
Uh, why?
356
00:16:46,380 --> 00:16:47,672
Well, um
357
00:16:48,257 --> 00:16:49,674
I guess you could say
I'm in one of those
358
00:16:49,758 --> 00:16:52,552
classic ass-tattoo-incentive
situations.
359
00:17:03,522 --> 00:17:05,106
Took 'em one day
360
00:17:05,399 --> 00:17:06,858
Are you ready?
361
00:17:10,487 --> 00:17:12,113
I like it. I like it
362
00:17:15,784 --> 00:17:18,619
Okay, keep in mind,
it's not too late to
choose another prize
363
00:17:18,704 --> 00:17:21,706
and there are some
great new additions
364
00:17:21,790 --> 00:17:24,792
My car.
For 1,000 points
365
00:17:25,294 --> 00:17:26,294
Or best offer
366
00:17:26,378 --> 00:17:27,378
What else you got?
367
00:17:27,546 --> 00:17:29,338
Oh, and then this
was Phyllis' idea.
368
00:17:29,465 --> 00:17:30,631
Oh
Oh!
369
00:17:32,009 --> 00:17:33,426
So nasty, Phyllis
370
00:17:33,510 --> 00:17:34,635
Oh, my God
371
00:17:39,016 --> 00:17:41,684
We were hoping
you could do
something like this
372
00:17:42,603 --> 00:17:43,895
So coming out of
his butt is a
373
00:17:43,979 --> 00:17:44,937
Baby
374
00:17:45,022 --> 00:17:46,647
Baby.
Yes
375
00:17:46,899 --> 00:17:48,274
Yeah. No problem
376
00:17:49,818 --> 00:17:53,237
We should think about this
Does anyone have
any better ideas?
377
00:17:53,322 --> 00:17:54,864
I like what we have
378
00:17:55,282 --> 00:17:56,491
Yeah, nice try
379
00:17:56,575 --> 00:17:58,076
It's pretty edgy
380
00:18:01,330 --> 00:18:03,122
I just need
a second outside
381
00:18:11,507 --> 00:18:13,007
You getting psyched up?
Yeah.
382
00:18:13,092 --> 00:18:15,051
Andy,
nobody really expects you
to go through with this.
383
00:18:15,177 --> 00:18:17,845
Toons, what am I
doing here?
384
00:18:19,765 --> 00:18:21,390
Why did Robert pick me?
385
00:18:22,142 --> 00:18:24,644
Confession,
I don't know
what I'm doing
386
00:18:25,187 --> 00:18:26,813
I mean
do you like it?
387
00:18:27,606 --> 00:18:28,898
You having fun?
388
00:18:30,526 --> 00:18:32,944
I'll tell you this
everybody else is
having a lot of fun
389
00:18:33,445 --> 00:18:35,154
And you did that
390
00:18:35,864 --> 00:18:38,574
My ass is only so big.
I mean
I can't do this every day
391
00:18:38,659 --> 00:18:40,284
But I think it's
big enough to buy
you some time
392
00:18:40,369 --> 00:18:41,953
until your next
great idea.
393
00:18:42,037 --> 00:18:44,580
Which, by the way
I can't wait for
394
00:18:48,293 --> 00:18:50,461
No one expects me
to go through
with this, right?
395
00:18:50,546 --> 00:18:51,879
Absolutely not
396
00:18:56,510 --> 00:18:58,845
Let's ink my stink
397
00:19:00,055 --> 00:19:01,305
Yeah
398
00:19:01,890 --> 00:19:06,352
My heart belongs to music
but my ass
belongs to these people
399
00:19:07,980 --> 00:19:09,313
Whoa
400
00:19:11,108 --> 00:19:12,692
Do your worst
401
00:19:15,154 --> 00:19:17,196
Uh, you can keep your
pants on actually
402
00:19:17,281 --> 00:19:19,574
If you just drop
them down a bit
that'd be great.
403
00:19:19,658 --> 00:19:21,159
They are already off
my good sir.
404
00:19:21,243 --> 00:19:23,077
I'd really prefer
they not be down
405
00:19:23,162 --> 00:19:26,664
Well, I think down's better
Sweating pretty
heavily down there
406
00:19:31,587 --> 00:19:33,546
Do you think you
could work from this?
407
00:19:33,630 --> 00:19:35,006
We made some
small adjustments
408
00:19:35,090 --> 00:19:36,132
Okay, you want me to
409
00:19:36,216 --> 00:19:37,508
Just those
few adjustments
Yeah.
410
00:19:38,760 --> 00:19:40,052
All right.
Let's begin
411
00:19:40,137 --> 00:19:41,888
This is where l
grin and bear
Ow, ow!
412
00:19:41,972 --> 00:19:43,014
That was just
a cotton swab
413
00:19:43,098 --> 00:19:45,183
Invest in
softer cotton, sir
414
00:19:50,147 --> 00:19:51,272
Ow
415
00:19:55,611 --> 00:19:56,611
Oh
416
00:19:57,779 --> 00:20:00,281
Obviously you can go
the ass tattoo route
417
00:20:00,365 --> 00:20:02,783
and obviously I'm
going to like it.
418
00:20:03,035 --> 00:20:05,036
Draw some blood
Ha-ha!
419
00:20:13,879 --> 00:20:16,714
Why did I choose
Andy to run the office?
420
00:20:17,090 --> 00:20:21,636
Because he's all surface,
uncomplicated.
What you see is what you get.
421
00:20:22,262 --> 00:20:25,223
It could be a recipe
for mediocrity, yes.
422
00:20:25,307 --> 00:20:27,808
But then again,
it might just be why
people fight for him.
423
00:20:30,729 --> 00:20:32,897
It's a Nard dog
424
00:20:34,191 --> 00:20:36,150
That's my nickity name
425
00:20:37,694 --> 00:20:38,986
I love it. I love it
426
00:20:39,071 --> 00:20:40,321
Pull up your pants
427
00:20:41,114 --> 00:20:43,699
There's something
about an underdog
428
00:20:43,784 --> 00:20:46,994
that really
inspires the unexceptional
429
00:20:50,666 --> 00:20:52,625
Um, what should we
talk about?
430
00:20:53,210 --> 00:20:56,087
Well, we could talk
about an ethical dilemma
I'm having.
431
00:20:56,171 --> 00:20:58,673
Oh, yeah, sure
I hope I can help
432
00:20:59,091 --> 00:21:01,926
A coworker of mine
is drinking caffeine
while pregnant
433
00:21:02,010 --> 00:21:04,762
and I don't know
if I should call
social services about it
434
00:21:04,846 --> 00:21:06,514
Angela, that's
pretty transparently me
435
00:21:07,015 --> 00:21:08,182
Maybe
436
00:21:08,684 --> 00:21:10,559
You know
it's just herbal tea
437
00:21:10,644 --> 00:21:13,062
In mugs with trace
amounts of coffee
438
00:21:14,022 --> 00:21:16,524
Yeah. I think you
should call social services
439
00:21:16,608 --> 00:21:17,650
I already did
440
00:21:19,778 --> 00:21:22,113
You know, maybe we
should just have
our own pregnancies
441
00:21:22,197 --> 00:21:24,490
and not pretend like
we're in this together
442
00:21:24,574 --> 00:21:26,701
Fine
32265
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