All language subtitles for The.Office.US.S07E13.Ultimatum.720p.BrRip.2CH.x265.HEVC-PSA

Next up, secretary Schrute
will read the minutes
from Sunday's meeting.

"Minutes from
previous meeting,
of Knights of the Night."

No! Jim, hey.

Oh.

This meeting is for
Knights of the Night only.

Knights of the Night are
volunteer crime patrollers.

We're often compared
to the Guardian Angels,

but we could not
be more different
from them.

Seriously, we are nothing
like the Guardian Angels.

I mean,
broad strokes purposes, sure.

Think Guardian Angels.

One of our many
recent good deeds,

we set out to capture
the Scranton Strangler.

Mission accomplished.

Not by us.

I'm actually just
looking for my BlackBerry,
so carry on.

No, no, no, no, no.
I see how this movie ends.

You make fun of me,
everyone laughs.

Ha, ha, ha.

Screw you.

Dwight, don't be bothered
by your friend's presence.

What are you gonna do now?

You gonna make fun
of our leader's
weird voice, huh?

"Dwight, don't be bothered..."

Over the line, Jim.

I'm just looking for my phone,
so pretend I'm not here.

Fine. "Minutes
from previous meeting
of Knights of the Night."

It's our official name, Jim.

Sounds good.

"Reflective strips
were glued to patrol jackets.

"Knights went outside
with flashlights
to test them."

Smart.

And the rest
was just boiler
plate stuff, that's...

Go ahead and read it,
some people weren't here.

Okay.

Knights stayed outside
to play flashlight tag.

Oh, come on.
That sounds awesome.

It was pretty cool.
Was it?

It was fun.

It was...
It was pretty awesome.

Hey, yeah. No, I got it.

Just leaving now.

January 3, 2011.

A day which will
live infamously.

Holly Partridge Flax,
otherwise known as Holly,

otherwise otherwise known
as a living, breathing angel,

is engaged to another man.

This is freaking me out. I...

Okay, let's just switch
to the happy video, okay?

No, no, no, no.
Let's push through.
We'll do this.

Today will either be
the best or
the worst day of my life.

Holly gave A.J. an ultimatum.

He either
proposes by New Year's
or they break up.

Now if she's engaged,
I'm gonna go crazy.

And I'm gonna
start attacking people.

If she's not engaged,
in all honesty,

I may just burn
this whole place

to the ground
out of happiness.

Either way, I am going to need
some talking down.

And nobody talks me down
like myself in
a video talking me down.

Michael,
I know what you're thinking.

Holly is engaged
to somebody else
and you want to kill yourself.

That may seem like
a good idea, but it's not.

Snot.

Sorry, it sounded like
you said, "It's snot."
I'm so sorry.

Okay, so killing yourself...

I was just
thinking about snot.

Good morning.

Hey, guys. Uh, fun thing.

The index cards on your desk
are resolution cards.

You write
your New Year's
resolution on them,

I'll collect them,
and then display
the cards on...

This. Resolution board.

Wow, did your baby draw that?

The glitter is blinding.

I think it's good.
It's gonna be fun.

I recently met Sue,

the office administrator
at Vance Refrigeration.

She has this awesome wall
full of fun initiatives

and morale boosters and stuff.

Sue just goes for it.
She's awesome.

I know Sue,
she's not that great.

And you know her husband's
in a wheelchair, right?

Okay, champagne.
Happy.

Sponge.
Sad.

To soak up my tears.

Gummy bears and gummy worms.

Bears sad, worms happy.
Come on, Erin.

Ukuleles. Happy?

Sad. Something to break.

Chocolates.
For you, job well done.

Thank you.

And two bottles of scotch.

Both sad.

And did you get the tickets?

I did, I did indeed.

Two front row center
to Paula Poundstone,
live in Poughkeepsie.

Holly's favorite.

I hope she doesn't
call us up on stage,
that would suck.

"Hey, you think you
could do my job better?"
"I don't know."

"What's your name?" "Michael."

I'm really excited
for Michael either way.

Because if Holly
chooses to be with him,
he will be so, so happy.

And if not, he'll be
avoiding the biggest
mistake of his life.

Oh, hey, guys.
I'd like to introduce you

to a new little
friend of mine.

His name is New
Year's Resolution Board.

Shut up. Hello.

So, high five me. We're back.

To a happy...

Woo! Look at those.
Mittens. Those a present?

Come on.
They're warm.

Those are so fuzzy and warm.

Let me feel those.
Let me feel that.

Put her there.
Give me a good firm one.

Ooh, that's a good,
firm handshake.

You're hired.

Yes, well let's get right
into the Anderson account,
shall we?

Okay.
Yes, yes, right away.

Yes, yes. Right away.

Okay.

Hey, hey, hey.
Want me to crank the
thermostat to 90?

Smoke her out?
She can't keep those
mittens on forever.

Yes. No, what? Stop. Yes.

Congrat...

Wow.
Oh.

Oh, my God.
That's it, that's it.

Oh, I get it.
Everybody knows
about the ultimatum.

Yes, I told everyone.

Ha, ha!

Hey, right back at you, bitch.

Happy, happy, happy, happy!

Whoa, whoa, whoa!

Okay, calm down! Breathe.

I'm trying.

I said breathe.

I'm trying.

Wait a second.
Are you listening to music?

What?

Shut that off.

I'm not
listening to the music.

Fine, just go crazy
for a little while.

Looking good.
You're looking good.

I gotcha, I gotcha!

I'm pulling you back!

Michael dance-off!

That's nice. That's nice.

Go!

Me, okay!

Go!
Oh, yeah!

Nice!
We're gonna calm down later.

I'm doing it.
Oh, yeah!

Oh, yeah!
Right there, right there!

Oh, yeah!

Hey, Dwight. I'm
collecting resolution cards.

Not doing that.

Why not?

I've achieved plenty,
and there's no
better than the best.

Drink less caffeine.

That's a good one, Pam.
Here's mine.

"Learn to cook for one."

Yeah, I love cooking.

But I always find
myself throwing out
half the food that I prepare.

So I figured it's time
to just start preparing
the right amount of food

for the right number
of people, which is one.

Well,
maybe you'll meet someone.

No, some people just
don't meet someone.

I'm fine with it. Really.

This is not a pity party.

It's not a party at all.
It's just sad.

Angela.
Yes.

"Make time for romance."

Who's the senator?
My boyfriend.

Oh, you mean
the state senator.

I'm sorry, I was confused
'cause you accidentally
wrote "The senator."

Wait, wait, wait.
It's that easy?

That's not a resolution.
That's just
something I wanna do.

Okay, fine. I can do that.

My resolution is
"Meet a loose woman."

Oh, God.

That's a good one.
Yeah?

You know what?
That's my new one.

I'm taking that one, too.

Awesome.

You know what
you guys should do?

Go to the book store at lunch.

There's tons of cuties
and it's easy to talk to them.

"Hey, what book is that?"

"Cool,
let's hang out tonight."

"Sex already? Whoa."

The book store?
It's that easy?

I'll come with you,
show you how it's done.

Okay.
I'll drive.

My resolution is to read more.

And if someone else
is driving me to
the book store,

I can eat my PB
and J in the car.

2011 is coming up all Darryl.

Hello.
Somebody's got a new phone.

Yeah.
That is neat.

I got it for Christmas.
I'm so out of my league here.

Holly like phone?

Why?

New phone is confusing,
gets bad reception.

Oh, bummer.

Bummer.

Reese's pieces.

Reese's pieces?

KELLY: Oh, God. Please stop.

Hey.

No. Don't go see that one.
I want to see that together.

Yeah, go see that action one.

Okay.

I love you, too.

All right.

Holly doesn't
seem to be engaged,

but she's talking to A.J.
like she is.

I can't figure it out.

Do you think
she's already
dating a different A.J.?

I don't think so.

When you broke it off with Roy
did you still tell
him you loved him?

No.
But you did still love him.

I'm not gonna have...
Do you love him now?

No!

Just talk to her.

No, she'd just resent me.

Or worse,
she would think of
me as her friend.

"Oh, hi, friend."

I'll talk to her, Michael.

You think she'd talk to you?

Why wouldn't she?

That's true,
she's really nice.
She'd talk to anybody.

Why don't you bring
Erin to balance you out?

There's a plan.

All right, we should
divide up by section.

I will take
Romance and Travel.

I'll take the entirety
of the second floor.

I got that cutie
behind the counter.

Well, if you read a lot
you should check
out our e-readers.

They're really neat.

Oh, I work at a paper company.

Those things terrify me.

They could put us
out of business,
you know?

Heard those machines
hold, like, 10 books at once.

Actually, it's 10,000.

Holy . What?

Let me see that.

So light. Like a croissant.

Hi.
Hi.

Welcome.

Let us know if
you need anything.

Thanks.

Why did we pretend
like we work here?

Is that what we were doing?

I don't know...

Hey, how'd you do?

Good. Yeah.
Good, real good. Yeah.

I think we kind of nailed it.
Yeah, pretty much.

But, you know,
this place is kind of
tapped out, so let's roll.

Cool.
Okay.

What'd you get?

A book about oceans.

Oh, really?
What else? Let me see.

That's porn.

Pornography.
Old lady. Nasty porn.

Follow my lead.

Hey, want some company?

Want some company?

Oh, sure. Have a seat.

HOLLY:
How were your breaks?

Oh, really good.
I went to Portugal.

I went to Portugal.

Oh, wow. You went together?

No.
No.

So, I just gotta know.
What's going on
with you and A.J.?

Nothing really happened.

I mean,
I know I made a big deal

about this whole
New Year's deadline,

but, it came and went
and we're still together.

You didn't break up
with A.J. at all?

I mean, not even for a week
to make him buy you a present?

It just wasn't fair of me
to give him an ultimatum
in the first place.

The whole thing is
totally my fault.

But we're gonna be just fine.
Just fine.

BOTH: Hmm.

Whoa!
Hold on.

I am not going back
until I fulfill my resolution.

Oh, no, no, no. Uh-uh.

DWIGHT: Come on, why not?

I've never been in one before.

I'm tired of being
Mr. Perfect Role
Model all the time.

I'm telling you, don't do it.

I got nothing
against strip clubs,

but I do have
something against them
at noon on a Monday.

The day shift at a strip club?

You can't un-see that.

Well, we can't just
go back. I mean,
we came out to meet women.

Hey, there's a roller
rink across the street.

There's always
chicks at the rink.

What kind of chicks
are you gonna meet there?

I don't know.
Single moms at
a skating party?

Sweet 16, 10-year
reunion parties.

Chicks fall down,
need help getting back up.

Roller derby practice.

We're going skating.

The goal of this
meeting is to get

everybody excited
about their resolutions.

Who's been good
about their resolution so far?

Erin, tell us about it.

Well, my goal was
to learn a new
word every single day.

And I must say that
it is going immensely.

Cool.

Here's a little "way
to go" gift from Sabre.

Intercepted.
Hey... Gabe.

Oops-e-doops.

Creed, I notice
you don't have
a resolution on the board.

What's yours?

I want to do a cartwheel.

But real casual, like.

Not make a big deal out of it.

But I know everybody saw it,
just one stunning,
gorgeous cartwheel.

How's it going?

I'm having a little
trouble motivating.

One of the hardest parts
about making
resolutions is keeping them.

In fact, most resolutions
are abandoned by February.

Or sooner.
Yeah.

It's not a joke.
But that's okay.

Because it's not
about being perfect,
it's about trying.

In fact,
why don't we go around
and confess some of the ways

that we've already fudged
on our resolutions?

Well, I said that I
would eat more vegetables,
and I haven't yet.

But it's okay.
I still have time.

Since last year I ate none.

Okay,
well, my confession is that
today I had a sip of coffee.

But that's fine.
Is it?

Yes, because with
all of your support,

by this time next year maybe
I'll be down to one
glass of iced tea a week.

Next year? Come on.
I mean, what is the point?

What is the point of that?

I made a resolution to floss.
And I did it.

12:01, January 1st.

Bam! Blood everywhere.

Not all of us are
Michael "Freaking" Scott.

What is wrong with you people?
Can't you stick to anything?

Erin, I want you
to go to the kitchen
and get me some vegetables.

Creed, you say you
want to do a cartwheel?
Nothing's stopping you.

Come on, old man.
Do a cartwheel!

Well, I can't.
I don't know how.

You're just going
to somersault around
for the rest of your life.

And you know what's gonna be
on your tombstone? "Loser."

My tombstone's
already made, thank you.

Just do a cartwheel!

This is all I could find.

Eat it.

PAM: You don't have
to do that, Kevin.

Oh, no.
I'm glad this is happening.

Thank you, Michael.

Why are you eating stem first?

This is a new food for me.
How else should I eat it?

GABE: The other way.

Can I get some Cheez Whiz?
Or Hollandaise?

No, no. No Cheez Whiz,
no Hollandaise,

no chocolate sauce,
just eat it.

Come on,
here comes the airplane.
There you go.

Open, open, into the hangar,
there you go.

PAM: Oh, Michael.
Yeah, eat it.

Put it in your mouth,
and just eat it.

God, I hate it.

I don't care
whether you hate it,
you said you'd do it!

Michael, Michael.
All right.

Eat it, eat it!
Oh, my God.

You're killing him, Michael.

All right,
all right, all right! Shh!
ANGELA: Michael!

Let me see if
you swallowed it.
Open your mouth.

Under your tongue. Oh, God!

You guys are pathetic.

Can I get some
candy or something?

No, you can't have any candy!
I'll get him water.

PAM: Okay, Michael.
Just settle down.

PAM: Um...

Oh, God!

MICHAEL:
Holly Flax.

Yes, Michael?

Not Michael, E.T.

What's up?

Oh, no, Michael.
I don't want to
talk about it with you.

And I'm fine, I just...
I don't want to talk about it.

Okay.

MICHAEL: Holly, come on in.
Thanks for coming.

I thought there should be
an HR rep here for this.

So Kevin and Creed,

things got
a little bit intense
in the conference room.

You think?

And I wanted to apologize.

These resolutions
should be about you,

and I made it about me.

And it was none of my beeswax.

You were super mean.

It was insensitive
and I am sorry.

It was traumatizing, Michael.

I wouldn't be surprised
if I never ate
a vegetable again.

I really wanted
you to follow through
on your resolutions.

The cartwheel, the veggies.

I...
I care about you. Very much.

And you loom so
large in my heart

that I crossed the line.

Okay, Michael, no offense.

But you need to
get your own life.

You're right.

And I hope that we
can still be friends.

I don't think I'm
there yet, boss.

Well, I am.
Okay.

KEVIN: I'm gonna help you.

Okay, okay.

Hey, it's just you.
Anything you want to hear?

Um...

Dave Matthews Band.

No hits, deep tracks only.

Okay.

RYAN: I just feel blocked.
I feel like I'm living...

Hey, Ryan.
Yeah.

How's your fart
project coming?

That's real,
real classy, Kevin.

Hey, was it me or
you that just shoved

the butt end of
a pound of broccoli

into my mouth
because Michael told me to?

Me.

Kevin, don't.

Come on.

Oh, Pam? Soda. Caffeine.

Yeah, just a little.
I have a lot to
deal with today.

Well, if you don't
have to do them...

Meredith, what are you doing?
I could be pregnant.

Okay, no.

Oh, my resolution was to
get more attention.

RYAN: Nope, she's lying.

KEVIN: Hey, Ryan.

One, two, three.

I did it. I did a cartwheel.

you!

Oh, God!

Okay, that's it.

God!

Lesson learned.

What's up?

Hey, where'd you go?

To the arcade.
Oh, cool.

Why, did you meet someone?

Yeah. I did, actually.

His name is Andy.

And he roller
skates like a Greek God.
And you know what?

I kind of like
hanging out with him.

Right on, son.

Gentlemen.

And where did you go?

Strip club.

I was looking at the strippers
at the strip club.

Right.
So that's it, guys?

If you want I can
put on the strobe.

ALL: Yeah!

Do you want to keep this?

No.

Do you want to keep this?

Yeah.

Do you wanna keep this?

No, you can toss them.

My resolution?
I never want to
make Holly cry again.

Unless it's from
laughing too hard.

Or making love
too beautifully.

HOLLY:
We're gonna be just fine.

You know how
you say something
over and over

and the words
start to sound weird?

Going to be just fine.

Just fine,
just fine,
just fine.

I just think
we need to cool
things down for a while.

Yeah, a break.

At least until I
get back to Nashua.

Yeah, I'm sure.

Look at where you're going
to be doing the cartwheel.

So look where
you're going to be
placing your hand.

So pick a spot.
Mmm-hmm.

You ready to do this?
Yes, sir.

You know what?
I'm gonna stay here
as long as it takes.

I really appreciate it.
I'm gonna spot you.

Spot you.

Go.

I did it!

You did?

A perfect cartwheel.

Okay, good!

What a rush! That's
all I had to do all year.

Congratulations.

All right.
Well, all right,
see you tomorrow.