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1
00:00:01,334 --> 00:00:03,109
Hey. I couldn't find the
article about you teaching
2
00:00:03,169 --> 00:00:05,706
sex ed to seniors, but I did
find this folder labeled
3
00:00:05,772 --> 00:00:08,275
"Senior sex ed thank-you
notes." Don't open that.
4
00:00:08,341 --> 00:00:09,581
There's pictures in there.
5
00:00:09,709 --> 00:00:10,949
Ho! There are pictures.
6
00:00:11,011 --> 00:00:12,422
There are lots of pictures.
7
00:00:12,479 --> 00:00:15,653
Why would you not throw these
away or incinerate them?
8
00:00:15,715 --> 00:00:18,059
Because every memory
deserves to be chronicled.
9
00:00:18,118 --> 00:00:19,324
Even the saggy ones.
10
00:00:19,386 --> 00:00:21,923
I am putting together
a scrapbook commemorating
11
00:00:21,988 --> 00:00:23,524
my first year on
the city council.
12
00:00:23,590 --> 00:00:26,969
This year whizzed by so fast. There
was so much more I wanted to do.
13
00:00:27,027 --> 00:00:31,874
But time is the relentless and cruel
enemy of the devoted civil servant.
14
00:00:32,098 --> 00:00:35,341
It's actually one of the
sub-titles of my scrapbook.
15
00:00:36,870 --> 00:00:38,008
Probably would've
gotten more stuff done
16
00:00:38,071 --> 00:00:40,881
if I hadn't spent so much time
brainstorming scrapbook titles.
17
00:00:41,408 --> 00:00:43,285
Ben and Leslie's day off.
Let's go relax.
18
00:00:43,343 --> 00:00:45,721
I cannot wait
for our day off.
19
00:00:45,779 --> 00:00:48,817
But what if
we took a day on
20
00:00:48,882 --> 00:00:50,691
and stayed here and worked
on some projects? Hmm.
21
00:00:50,750 --> 00:00:52,991
That sounds pretty sexy, right?
No.
22
00:00:53,053 --> 00:00:56,796
Leslie, you've worked non-stop.
Holidays and weekends.
23
00:00:56,856 --> 00:00:58,233
You'rejust
gonna take a day off.
24
00:00:58,291 --> 00:00:59,429
It'll be good for you.
25
00:00:59,559 --> 00:01:00,697
All right. You're cute.
26
00:01:00,760 --> 00:01:01,830
And you're right.
Come on.
27
00:01:01,928 --> 00:01:02,929
Let's relax.
All right.
28
00:01:03,596 --> 00:01:06,805
Hey, April. I'll be gone for
the next 19-and-a-half hours,
29
00:01:06,866 --> 00:01:08,641
so can you water my
plants in my office?
30
00:01:08,701 --> 00:01:10,510
We are all out of water,
actually.
31
00:01:10,637 --> 00:01:12,446
I'll have to use
boiling hot milk.
32
00:01:12,505 --> 00:01:13,848
Are you really gonna do that?
Yes.
33
00:01:14,441 --> 00:01:16,148
Well, everybody.
34
00:01:16,910 --> 00:01:21,984
Wow! It has been an honor and a
pleasure to work with you all.
35
00:01:22,048 --> 00:01:25,325
The time I have spent at Parks and
Rec have been the happiest days
36
00:01:25,385 --> 00:01:27,126
of my life here
in the government.
37
00:01:27,720 --> 00:01:30,098
And I know everyone says it,
but I sincerely hope
38
00:01:30,190 --> 00:01:31,430
that we stay in touch.
39
00:01:35,261 --> 00:01:36,706
What the...is
happening right now?
40
00:01:37,864 --> 00:01:40,105
Today's my last day, Leslie.
I'm retiring.
41
00:01:40,300 --> 00:01:42,405
What? Why didn't
you tell us?
42
00:01:42,535 --> 00:01:44,208
Well, I didn't want
to make a big fuss.
43
00:01:44,270 --> 00:01:47,342
Although, gosh, I'm pretty sure
I mentioned it a few times.
44
00:01:47,407 --> 00:01:49,250
Oh, God, they're gonna
fire people, aren't they?
45
00:01:49,309 --> 00:01:50,947
Yeah, I am two years
from my pension.
46
00:01:51,311 --> 00:01:54,588
Can you believe it? Only six
months left until I retire.
47
00:01:56,082 --> 00:01:57,186
What did Jerry say?
48
00:01:57,317 --> 00:01:58,421
Jerry was here?
49
00:01:58,751 --> 00:02:00,424
Well, this is
my last weep.
50
00:02:00,620 --> 00:02:04,227
Oops! I mean,
"weep." Week.
51
00:02:04,324 --> 00:02:05,325
(LAUGHS)
52
00:02:06,192 --> 00:02:07,262
Geez.
53
00:02:07,494 --> 00:02:08,598
(LAUGHING)
54
00:02:09,229 --> 00:02:11,800
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Just wait.
Everybody wait. Okay.
55
00:02:11,865 --> 00:02:13,401
As much as we
want this to happen,
56
00:02:13,533 --> 00:02:15,069
we can't let
Jerry just disappear.
57
00:02:15,135 --> 00:02:16,876
We have to
commemorate this somehow.
58
00:02:16,936 --> 00:02:21,180
You're right. Jerry, thank
you for your service.
59
00:02:21,241 --> 00:02:22,447
Good-bye.
60
00:02:22,509 --> 00:02:25,922
Thanks, Ron.
That speech means a lot.
61
00:02:25,979 --> 00:02:29,290
Okay, well, I am going to go and
say good-bye to some other folks.
62
00:02:30,617 --> 00:02:32,187
Okay, see you
tomorrow, Jerry.
63
00:02:53,139 --> 00:02:57,144
So we ran all your tests,
and everything looks great.
64
00:02:57,577 --> 00:03:01,081
(SIGHS) You might be the healthiest
human being we've ever seen.
65
00:03:01,147 --> 00:03:03,787
You have the resting heart rate
of a 100-year-old tortoise.
66
00:03:03,850 --> 00:03:05,329
Yes, I get that a lot.
67
00:03:05,385 --> 00:03:08,332
So my childhood illness... There's
no chancel would pass that on?
68
00:03:08,388 --> 00:03:11,164
It wasn't genetic, so you
shouldn't worry at all.
69
00:03:11,224 --> 00:03:13,898
You have every reason
to expect a healthy child.
70
00:03:14,060 --> 00:03:16,666
In fact, if you'd like, you can
provide your sample today.
71
00:03:17,363 --> 00:03:20,071
Today?
Like, today, today?
72
00:03:20,133 --> 00:03:21,407
This today?
Well, yes.
73
00:03:21,467 --> 00:03:23,970
I mean, the timing is right according
to Ann's ovulation schedule.
74
00:03:24,037 --> 00:03:26,779
Unless there's a reason you'd
like to wait till next month.
75
00:03:26,906 --> 00:03:28,146
(sums)
76
00:03:28,408 --> 00:03:29,887
No.
77
00:03:29,943 --> 00:03:31,251
None.
78
00:03:31,644 --> 00:03:33,453
One other question.
Completely off topic.
79
00:03:33,513 --> 00:03:36,722
Would I be providing
this sample... Today?
80
00:03:38,418 --> 00:03:40,625
Here I am thinking
about how fast
81
00:03:40,687 --> 00:03:42,860
my first year in
city council has gone,
82
00:03:42,922 --> 00:03:47,234
and Jerry has had 40 years whiz past
him with nothing to show for it.
83
00:03:47,293 --> 00:03:48,772
This is everything
in his file,
84
00:03:48,861 --> 00:03:51,364
a handicapped parking sticker
from when he got gout,
85
00:03:51,431 --> 00:03:54,935
a Parks and Rec golf cart
driving exam which he failed,
86
00:03:55,034 --> 00:03:57,014
a scathing
performance review.
87
00:03:57,170 --> 00:03:59,309
I mean, why would
anyone be so mean?
88
00:03:59,606 --> 00:04:00,710
Oh, wait. I wrote this.
89
00:04:01,174 --> 00:04:02,244
I stand by it.
90
00:04:02,308 --> 00:04:03,912
Well, Jerry was
never really the type
91
00:04:04,043 --> 00:04:07,217
to rise above
mediocrity or to it.
92
00:04:07,347 --> 00:04:09,122
That's what I thought,
but when he started,
93
00:04:09,249 --> 00:04:11,024
he had a lot of
dreams and goals.
94
00:04:11,084 --> 00:04:13,564
I mean, look at his
original entry paperwork.
95
00:04:13,720 --> 00:04:17,361
He wanted to meet the mayor,
have a building named after him.
96
00:04:17,423 --> 00:04:20,632
I just can't let Jerry leave here with
nothing and go home to an empty life.
97
00:04:20,727 --> 00:04:23,799
Well, I'll help with anything.
Just promise we'll do it quickly.
98
00:04:23,863 --> 00:04:25,672
I'm making us a mac
and cheese pizza for...
99
00:04:25,732 --> 00:04:27,234
Mac and cheese pizza?
Yeah.
100
00:04:27,300 --> 00:04:28,643
You're making that?
Yeah.
101
00:04:28,735 --> 00:04:29,736
(GASPS)
102
00:04:31,971 --> 00:04:34,508
Torturing Jerry was my
favorite thing in the world.
103
00:04:34,874 --> 00:04:36,217
After making out
with you.
104
00:04:36,276 --> 00:04:38,347
Remember when we did both
at the same time?
105
00:04:38,411 --> 00:04:40,288
It made him
so uncomfortable.
106
00:04:40,346 --> 00:04:41,347
(BOTH LAUGHING)
107
00:04:41,447 --> 00:04:44,121
This is a sad day. Who are
we gonna make fun of now?
108
00:04:44,183 --> 00:04:45,184
RON: No need to worry.
109
00:04:45,251 --> 00:04:47,788
Every place I've ever worked
in has had a "Jerry."
110
00:04:47,854 --> 00:04:48,992
When one Jerry leaves,
111
00:04:49,055 --> 00:04:52,628
the office naturally selects
a new Jerry to fill that role.
112
00:04:52,692 --> 00:04:55,536
It's Social Darwinism.
The strong prey on the weak.
113
00:04:55,762 --> 00:04:59,539
Soon, one of you
will be ridiculed mercilessly.
114
00:04:59,832 --> 00:05:01,607
Ha! Nature.
115
00:05:04,604 --> 00:05:06,140
Okay.
My transfer was approved.
116
00:05:06,205 --> 00:05:09,550
So starting now, lam an employee
of the County Health Board.
117
00:05:09,609 --> 00:05:10,883
You are no longer
my boss,
118
00:05:10,943 --> 00:05:12,854
and we can have a baby without
it being a conflict of interest.
119
00:05:12,912 --> 00:05:14,186
Clear sailing.
120
00:05:14,247 --> 00:05:16,386
Goodbye, Ann Perkins,
my excellent employee.
121
00:05:16,716 --> 00:05:19,162
Hello, Ann Perkins,
my fallopian princess.
122
00:05:19,419 --> 00:05:20,864
So here's the drill.
123
00:05:21,020 --> 00:05:22,260
Make a deposit in here.
124
00:05:22,322 --> 00:05:24,233
If you fill it up all the way,
you get on the board.
125
00:05:25,925 --> 00:05:27,871
Then we take the sample,
spin it in the centrifuge,
126
00:05:27,927 --> 00:05:29,201
and prepare it
for fertilization.
127
00:05:29,262 --> 00:05:30,434
Sounds romantic.
128
00:05:31,831 --> 00:05:33,708
I guess it's go time.
Go time!
129
00:05:34,434 --> 00:05:36,072
Wait, what am I doing?
I don't go with you.
130
00:05:36,135 --> 00:05:40,049
Oh, no, no. I go in alone with this
pornographic disc and do it myself.
131
00:05:40,106 --> 00:05:41,346
And you stay out here
132
00:05:41,407 --> 00:05:42,909
and try not to think about
what I'm doing in there.
133
00:05:42,975 --> 00:05:44,545
And I try not to think
about you waiting out here
134
00:05:44,610 --> 00:05:45,953
trying not to
think about me.
135
00:05:46,212 --> 00:05:47,452
Should I think about you?
136
00:05:48,181 --> 00:05:49,387
This is so weird.
137
00:05:49,449 --> 00:05:51,486
Chris, we don't
have to do this today.
138
00:05:51,851 --> 00:05:55,924
This was totally just sprung on us.
Let's just take a moment.
139
00:05:55,988 --> 00:05:58,559
There's so many
pamphlets to look at.
140
00:05:58,624 --> 00:06:02,265
Yes, we do have very important
pamphlet reading to do.
141
00:06:02,495 --> 00:06:04,338
Excellent idea,
Ann Perkins.
142
00:06:05,331 --> 00:06:06,605
Do I keep this?
143
00:06:07,100 --> 00:06:10,343
I don't know. It feels wrong to
leave it here. Give it to me.
144
00:06:12,972 --> 00:06:14,007
I panicked. Run!
145
00:06:17,110 --> 00:06:19,920
Here are the last
of the Animal Control reports.
146
00:06:23,015 --> 00:06:24,392
What are you doing,
weirdo?
147
00:06:24,617 --> 00:06:26,824
Just trying not
to spill anything.
148
00:06:26,986 --> 00:06:29,728
I believe Leslie said
to organize these by year.
149
00:06:30,022 --> 00:06:32,832
Way ahead of you.
I made two pile files.
150
00:06:33,159 --> 00:06:34,160
(DONNA LAUGHS)
151
00:06:34,427 --> 00:06:37,465
Pilo fibles. Filo pilos.
152
00:06:37,563 --> 00:06:39,133
Filo pilos?
That's not right.
153
00:06:39,198 --> 00:06:40,438
Are you broken?
(APRIL LAUGHS)
154
00:06:40,566 --> 00:06:42,409
No, everything's fine.
(RON LAUGHS)
155
00:06:42,502 --> 00:06:44,607
Well, I guess that settles
who the new Jerry is.
156
00:06:44,670 --> 00:06:47,082
No, it doesn't!
I barely even said it wrong.
157
00:06:47,140 --> 00:06:48,710
Said it wrong.
Stop it!
158
00:06:48,875 --> 00:06:50,149
(ALL LAUGH)
159
00:06:51,344 --> 00:06:52,687
This is how it begins.
160
00:06:53,112 --> 00:06:54,489
The next "Jerry."
161
00:06:54,614 --> 00:06:57,060
One screwed-up sentence,
and 30 years later,
162
00:06:57,116 --> 00:06:58,959
I'm wearing
aquamarine sweater vests
163
00:06:59,018 --> 00:07:02,693
and listening to Bonnie Raitt and
The Da Vinci Code on my iPod.
164
00:07:05,391 --> 00:07:06,563
(ALL LAUGH)
165
00:07:06,859 --> 00:07:07,963
It's already started.
166
00:07:10,263 --> 00:07:12,539
Believe it or not,
Jerry, you were young once.
167
00:07:12,598 --> 00:07:13,872
Young and full of dreams.
168
00:07:13,933 --> 00:07:15,640
(LAUGHS) I forgot I wrote
all this.
169
00:07:15,701 --> 00:07:18,807
And as unrealistic and
absurd as those goals were,
170
00:07:18,905 --> 00:07:21,511
we are not letting you retire
until we help you achieve them.
171
00:07:22,508 --> 00:07:24,351
So let's see
what's first.
172
00:07:24,410 --> 00:07:27,687
"Eat in city council private
dining room." That we can achieve.
173
00:07:27,947 --> 00:07:29,927
Right now?
Sure. Let's go.
174
00:07:30,349 --> 00:07:31,487
Authorized personnel only.
175
00:07:31,617 --> 00:07:32,755
Oh, they're with me.
176
00:07:32,819 --> 00:07:35,857
City Councilor Leslie Knope,
clearance level four.
177
00:07:35,922 --> 00:07:38,300
Guests are only
allowed on Wednesdays.
178
00:07:38,357 --> 00:07:40,394
And we don't have
clearance levels.
179
00:07:40,460 --> 00:07:42,997
I know, but shouldn't we?
I mean, it sounds so cool.
180
00:07:43,062 --> 00:07:45,042
Anyway, we just need to get
in there real quick
181
00:07:45,097 --> 00:07:46,701
and maybe take a picture.
182
00:07:46,766 --> 00:07:50,236
He's retiring as a City Hall
employee after 41 years,
183
00:07:50,303 --> 00:07:51,839
and it was his dream
to eat here.
184
00:07:51,904 --> 00:07:53,315
His dream? Really?
185
00:07:54,207 --> 00:07:55,379
Still no.
186
00:07:55,441 --> 00:07:56,442
It's okay, Leslie.
Come on.
187
00:07:56,509 --> 00:07:57,544
But thank you.
Thank you for trying.
188
00:07:57,610 --> 00:07:59,419
No, no, no, no, no. I promised
you an executive meal
189
00:07:59,479 --> 00:08:00,617
and you're gonna
get one.
190
00:08:00,680 --> 00:08:02,660
Ben. Okay.
191
00:08:02,715 --> 00:08:05,093
I'm gonna go in there
and take a picture with Jerry.
192
00:08:05,218 --> 00:08:06,856
I put my arm around nothing.
193
00:08:06,919 --> 00:08:09,160
And then you photoshop
him in later, okay?
194
00:08:12,758 --> 00:08:14,396
Congratulations
on your retirement.
195
00:08:14,527 --> 00:08:16,200
Aw, thank you.
196
00:08:17,396 --> 00:08:20,468
One, three,
seven, two, five, nine.
197
00:08:21,400 --> 00:08:23,402
Sudoku is easy.
198
00:08:23,703 --> 00:08:25,444
Is there even
rules to this game?
199
00:08:25,838 --> 00:08:28,682
There's a natural successor
to Jerry's sad, smelly crown.
200
00:08:28,741 --> 00:08:31,585
And it's not me.
It's Andy.
201
00:08:31,878 --> 00:08:34,984
Big guy? Check.
Goofy? Check.
202
00:08:35,114 --> 00:08:37,458
All I have to do is wait
for a textbook Dwyer screw-up,
203
00:08:37,517 --> 00:08:40,191
which usually
happens every 20 minutes.
204
00:08:40,586 --> 00:08:42,930
Hey, if it isn't Filo Pilo.
205
00:08:42,989 --> 00:08:45,196
Real creative, Donna.
You expect that to catch on?
206
00:08:45,258 --> 00:08:46,328
Babe, the pen.
207
00:08:48,127 --> 00:08:51,802
Look at Andy. There's ink all over him.
Andy's the new Jerry.
208
00:08:51,864 --> 00:08:53,866
Game over.
Awesome.
209
00:08:53,933 --> 00:08:55,640
Hey, I'm like a giant squid.
210
00:08:55,735 --> 00:08:56,839
Hey, honey,
I'm ink Dracula.
211
00:08:56,969 --> 00:08:58,107
No, stop.
212
00:08:58,170 --> 00:09:00,172
Squid Dracula is going to get you.
(APRIL SCREAMS)
213
00:09:00,473 --> 00:09:01,884
(ANDY ROARS)
214
00:09:02,108 --> 00:09:03,416
Barking up
the wrong tree, Filo.
215
00:09:03,543 --> 00:09:04,851
What do you mean?
216
00:09:05,144 --> 00:09:07,750
Andy will never be the new Jerry.
Nothing embarrasses him.
217
00:09:07,813 --> 00:09:09,793
He's like a giant
puppy with no shame.
218
00:09:09,849 --> 00:09:12,591
What you need is some
fresh meat in the office.
219
00:09:12,652 --> 00:09:14,495
Or you guys could just stop
making fun of me.
220
00:09:14,554 --> 00:09:16,090
Yeah. No.
221
00:09:17,957 --> 00:09:21,803
Okay, on to the next Jerry
goal, meet Mayor Knudson.
222
00:09:21,928 --> 00:09:24,909
Oh, yeah. He was the
mayor at the time.
223
00:09:24,997 --> 00:09:26,999
I've always
wanted to meet him.
224
00:09:27,133 --> 00:09:29,340
Well, today you're
getting that chance.
225
00:09:30,636 --> 00:09:33,116
So was he like
a really great mayor?
226
00:09:33,272 --> 00:09:34,478
No, not really.
227
00:09:34,540 --> 00:09:36,611
He resigned because of
corruption and racketeering,
228
00:09:36,676 --> 00:09:38,678
and then he died from
an overdose of pills.
229
00:09:38,744 --> 00:09:40,246
But actually his
real cause of death
230
00:09:40,313 --> 00:09:42,589
was being thrown out of a
helicopter while handcuffed.
231
00:09:42,648 --> 00:09:43,956
Some people say
he's still alive
232
00:09:44,083 --> 00:09:45,426
because they
never found the body,
233
00:09:45,985 --> 00:09:48,829
but they never found the body
because he exploded on impact.
234
00:09:48,888 --> 00:09:50,526
Sounds like a good dude.
JERRY: Yeah.
235
00:09:50,823 --> 00:09:52,769
I just wish I had
a chance to meet him,
236
00:09:52,825 --> 00:09:56,568
you know, years ago before all
the scandals and his death.
237
00:09:57,163 --> 00:09:58,437
But this is nice too.
238
00:09:58,497 --> 00:09:59,805
Is it?
239
00:09:59,932 --> 00:10:01,240
Yes, it is.
Mmm-hmm.
240
00:10:01,667 --> 00:10:02,941
Okay, go over there.
241
00:10:03,002 --> 00:10:05,608
Let's meet Mayor Knudson.
I'll take your picture.
242
00:10:05,671 --> 00:10:06,706
Butterflies.
243
00:10:06,772 --> 00:10:07,773
(LESLIE AND JERRY LAUGH)
244
00:10:07,873 --> 00:10:09,375
Hello, Mr. Mayor.
245
00:10:09,842 --> 00:10:10,980
First of all,
I'm so sorry
246
00:10:11,043 --> 00:10:13,523
that those Serbian mobsters shoved
you out of that helicopter.
247
00:10:13,579 --> 00:10:14,580
You deserve better.
248
00:10:14,981 --> 00:10:17,052
Okay, you tried,
but I took a day off
249
00:10:17,116 --> 00:10:20,791
to spend with you, not with you
and Jerry and a dead mayor.
250
00:10:20,886 --> 00:10:22,331
Can we please
just call it a day?
251
00:10:22,388 --> 00:10:24,527
No, we can't because
in a few short years,
252
00:10:24,590 --> 00:10:26,035
we're gonna be
visiting Jerry here,
253
00:10:26,092 --> 00:10:27,298
and he will have
achieved nothing.
254
00:10:27,560 --> 00:10:28,595
Is that what you want?
255
00:10:28,661 --> 00:10:30,038
No.
Okay, then.
256
00:10:30,129 --> 00:10:31,506
It's really been
nice to meet you.
257
00:10:32,398 --> 00:10:33,706
Okay, Jerry, let's go.
(CLEARS THROAT) Whoo.
258
00:10:34,166 --> 00:10:36,112
Ron-fire of the Vanities.
259
00:10:36,235 --> 00:10:37,509
Filo Pilo.
260
00:10:37,603 --> 00:10:38,707
(SIGHS)
Are you kidding me?
261
00:10:39,138 --> 00:10:41,175
Listen, now that
Jerry's gone,
262
00:10:41,240 --> 00:10:42,583
we need to hire someone
to pick up the slack.
263
00:10:42,642 --> 00:10:43,985
A new person in the office?
264
00:10:44,043 --> 00:10:45,886
Not a person. An intern.
265
00:10:46,445 --> 00:10:48,482
Why on earth
would I get an intern?
266
00:10:48,581 --> 00:10:51,494
Interns cost nothing
to the taxpayer.
267
00:10:51,784 --> 00:10:54,287
And more importantly, they're
usually stupid and terrible.
268
00:10:54,387 --> 00:10:56,890
So they get no work done. It's like
a Jerry you don't have to pay.
269
00:10:56,956 --> 00:10:59,061
Damn, son. That is
one compelling argument.
270
00:10:59,825 --> 00:11:01,065
Keep it up, Filo.
271
00:11:01,127 --> 00:11:03,129
We may destroy this government
one day after all.
272
00:11:05,965 --> 00:11:08,377
These pamphlets
are fascinating.
273
00:11:08,434 --> 00:11:10,812
It says here that some men
gain "sympathy weight"
274
00:11:10,870 --> 00:11:12,110
when their partners
get pregnant.
275
00:11:12,371 --> 00:11:14,783
If that happens to me, I'll be miserable.
But happy.
276
00:11:14,840 --> 00:11:16,148
But sad.
277
00:11:16,475 --> 00:11:21,515
I would have never imagined the
baby-making process to be this clinical.
278
00:11:21,580 --> 00:11:23,753
I mean, imagine if
actual sex were like this.
279
00:11:23,816 --> 00:11:25,261
Let me remove my clothes
280
00:11:25,317 --> 00:11:29,094
so we may begin to engage in physical
activity to multiply our genes.
281
00:11:29,188 --> 00:11:30,326
(BOTH CHUCKLE)
282
00:11:30,456 --> 00:11:32,595
And it's also
weird because we dated
283
00:11:32,658 --> 00:11:35,104
and we remember what
it's like to engage
284
00:11:35,194 --> 00:11:36,867
in some of those
physical activities.
285
00:11:36,929 --> 00:11:37,999
Exactly.
286
00:11:38,130 --> 00:11:42,340
And we were also pretty good
at those physical activities.
287
00:11:42,401 --> 00:11:44,108
(LAUGHS) Yes, we were.
288
00:11:45,271 --> 00:11:46,875
Yes, we were.
289
00:11:52,344 --> 00:11:54,585
You know,
is this all the pamphlets?
290
00:11:54,647 --> 00:11:59,426
'Cause I think that maybe I
have some left in my bedroom.
291
00:11:59,485 --> 00:12:02,159
Oh, well, then, we should
definitely go look for those.
292
00:12:02,221 --> 00:12:03,564
Let's find those.
We need to find those.
293
00:12:03,622 --> 00:12:04,896
Hurry.
294
00:12:10,262 --> 00:12:12,071
Okay, everyone
gather around.
295
00:12:12,131 --> 00:12:13,439
Leslie, I really
appreciate this,
296
00:12:13,499 --> 00:12:15,706
but I did promise Gayle I
would leave by 5:00. (LAUGHS)
297
00:12:15,768 --> 00:12:20,239
She has a tasty surprise waiting
for me, if you know what I mean.
298
00:12:20,406 --> 00:12:21,680
Gross, Jerry.
299
00:12:21,741 --> 00:12:22,879
She made a meatloaf.
300
00:12:22,942 --> 00:12:24,387
LESLIE: Well, this is better
than meatloaf.
301
00:12:24,443 --> 00:12:25,751
When Jerry first
applied for this job,
302
00:12:25,811 --> 00:12:28,690
one of this goals was to have
a building named after him.
303
00:12:28,748 --> 00:12:31,422
Again, that is an absurd request
considering your work record.
304
00:12:31,484 --> 00:12:35,091
But I thought maybe he could
have a room named after him.
305
00:12:35,387 --> 00:12:38,197
So henceforth,
Parks and Rec conference room
306
00:12:38,257 --> 00:12:42,831
will serve as a testament to
your years of public service.
307
00:12:43,028 --> 00:12:44,234
Oh, my God.
308
00:12:44,363 --> 00:12:45,603
Hear, hear.
309
00:12:45,664 --> 00:12:49,737
(SIGHS) "Jerry Gergich Memorial
Conference Room. RIP"?
310
00:12:50,236 --> 00:12:53,513
(LAUGHS) Oh, the guy at the plaque
store thought you had died.
311
00:12:53,839 --> 00:12:55,910
It was a rush job, so we
didn't have time to change it.
312
00:12:56,275 --> 00:12:58,949
It doesn't matter. We can just
pretend it means "retire in peace."
313
00:12:59,378 --> 00:13:00,618
Yeah.
Yeah, okay.
314
00:13:00,679 --> 00:13:01,885
So bring out the cake!
315
00:13:01,947 --> 00:13:05,394
JERRY: Oh! Wow!
Speech, speech, speech.
316
00:13:05,518 --> 00:13:06,656
Well, thank you, guys.
317
00:13:06,719 --> 00:13:09,757
I'm not much of a speechmaker,
but I do like good cake.
318
00:13:11,056 --> 00:13:12,057
DONNA: Uh...
JERRY: Mmm...
319
00:13:12,291 --> 00:13:13,361
You're on fire.
320
00:13:13,793 --> 00:13:15,568
(GASPS) Whoa!
321
00:13:15,694 --> 00:13:16,900
Oh, my God, Jerry!
322
00:13:27,306 --> 00:13:30,617
Well, that went roughly
as well as I thought it would.
323
00:13:33,179 --> 00:13:35,716
I promised Gayle I'd leave at 5:00.
I guess this is it.
324
00:13:35,815 --> 00:13:36,816
(GIGGLES)
325
00:13:37,716 --> 00:13:38,820
Bye.
326
00:13:39,585 --> 00:13:40,893
See you tomorrow, Jeremy.
327
00:13:41,787 --> 00:13:44,666
Well, pretty heroic,
huh, guys?
328
00:13:45,024 --> 00:13:46,059
Hard to make fun of that.
329
00:13:46,192 --> 00:13:47,227
Man, the cake.
330
00:13:47,993 --> 00:13:49,631
Filo Pilo ruined
the cake.
331
00:13:49,762 --> 00:13:51,435
Classic Pilo.
332
00:13:51,564 --> 00:13:53,168
What? How is that
my fault?
333
00:13:53,232 --> 00:13:55,371
Stupid Jerry. Should have
never saved his life.
334
00:13:57,369 --> 00:13:58,575
(KNOCKING)
335
00:13:59,738 --> 00:14:00,773
Well...
336
00:14:00,840 --> 00:14:02,649
Hey, Jerry.
Do you have a second?
337
00:14:02,708 --> 00:14:04,847
Leslie. Well,
this is a lovely surprise.
338
00:14:04,910 --> 00:14:06,014
Come on in. Have
breakfast with the family.
339
00:14:06,078 --> 00:14:09,525
That's okay. I just popped by to
apologize and to give you something.
340
00:14:09,615 --> 00:14:11,253
Is that Leslie Knope?
Yes.
341
00:14:11,317 --> 00:14:12,387
Hi, Gayle.
342
00:14:12,518 --> 00:14:13,622
What a surprise.
343
00:14:14,086 --> 00:14:16,088
I insist you join
us for breakfast.
344
00:14:16,555 --> 00:14:19,764
This guy is the greatest
breakfast chef in the world.
345
00:14:19,892 --> 00:14:22,202
Oh, you know, I'm not
really into breakfast foods.
346
00:14:22,628 --> 00:14:24,505
Really? Your purse is
shaped like a waffle.
347
00:14:24,797 --> 00:14:26,572
Is it?
Please join us.
348
00:14:26,632 --> 00:14:29,169
The Gergiches don't take
no for an answer. Mmm-mmm.
349
00:14:29,335 --> 00:14:30,541
(SIGHS) Okay.
350
00:14:30,636 --> 00:14:32,081
(LAUGHS) Come on in.
351
00:14:33,272 --> 00:14:35,582
Girls, we've got company.
352
00:14:39,378 --> 00:14:41,517
So, you want to
get out of here?
353
00:14:42,314 --> 00:14:44,089
Work just started,
Ms. Meagle.
354
00:14:44,350 --> 00:14:46,660
Yeah, but our work is just beginning.
You know what I'm saying?
355
00:14:46,719 --> 00:14:48,630
Oh, Donna, who's
the new boy toy?
356
00:14:48,687 --> 00:14:50,360
I'm Taylor,
the new intern.
357
00:14:50,422 --> 00:14:52,231
This is the new intern?
Are you kidding me?
358
00:14:52,291 --> 00:14:54,293
Yeah, he went to high school
with my sister, Natalie.
359
00:14:54,393 --> 00:14:56,236
He was a big deal
on the football team.
360
00:14:56,629 --> 00:14:59,667
Oh, meathead jock
type, huh?
361
00:14:59,732 --> 00:15:01,905
Actually, I quit
football senior year
362
00:15:02,001 --> 00:15:03,742
so I could help my pastor
run a homeless shelter.
363
00:15:03,836 --> 00:15:06,840
Oh. (SIGHS) This guy loves the homeless
so much, he should marry them, right?
364
00:15:07,273 --> 00:15:09,412
Anybody would be
lucky to marry him.
365
00:15:09,475 --> 00:15:11,113
Hey, Taylor, do you want
to marry me and April?
366
00:15:11,176 --> 00:15:13,452
Wish I could, man,
but I'm not a "marriage" dude.
367
00:15:13,646 --> 00:15:14,886
I've got a lot
of love to give,
368
00:15:14,980 --> 00:15:16,425
and it just seems unfair
to put boundaries on it.
369
00:15:17,249 --> 00:15:18,421
He gets it.
370
00:15:18,684 --> 00:15:19,856
DONNA: (WHISPERS)
You so get it.
371
00:15:23,856 --> 00:15:24,926
Oh, hey.
372
00:15:24,990 --> 00:15:28,494
Hi. Should I keep
walking towards you?
373
00:15:28,627 --> 00:15:31,938
Yeah, I could stop,
and you could walk.
374
00:15:32,531 --> 00:15:34,636
Or you know what,
we could meet in the middle.
375
00:15:35,868 --> 00:15:37,040
Great plan.
376
00:15:39,405 --> 00:15:40,713
Hello.
Hi.
377
00:15:41,774 --> 00:15:43,014
(sums)
378
00:15:48,380 --> 00:15:49,415
Well...
Okay.
379
00:15:55,788 --> 00:15:58,234
Ron, ask me if I'm sad.
380
00:15:59,024 --> 00:16:00,162
No.
381
00:16:00,292 --> 00:16:01,430
Ron, I'm the new Jerry.
382
00:16:02,294 --> 00:16:04,501
Well, is whining going to
do anything about it?
383
00:16:04,630 --> 00:16:07,338
You don't want to be a whipping boy.
Stand up for yourself.
384
00:16:07,433 --> 00:16:10,812
You don't understand, Ron.
I already was Jerry.
385
00:16:11,236 --> 00:16:14,012
I was a skinny Indian kid in
South Carolina, and it sucked.
386
00:16:14,139 --> 00:16:16,483
It took me 12 years,
but I reinvented myself.
387
00:16:16,608 --> 00:16:18,986
I'm a business owner.
I wear dope suits.
388
00:16:19,044 --> 00:16:21,888
I have fur underwear.
It was all for nothing.
389
00:16:21,947 --> 00:16:23,426
I'm back to
being a Jerry.
390
00:16:23,482 --> 00:16:24,483
(sums)
391
00:16:24,583 --> 00:16:25,687
All right.
392
00:16:25,751 --> 00:16:28,061
I'm gonna go buy some sweatpants
and a Nicholas Sparks novel.
393
00:16:28,454 --> 00:16:29,762
Might as well lean into it.
394
00:16:31,156 --> 00:16:33,568
RON: Tom can take care of himself.
He's a grown man.
395
00:16:34,360 --> 00:16:35,430
Well, half-grown.
396
00:16:35,494 --> 00:16:36,632
He does have a business
397
00:16:36,695 --> 00:16:38,470
where he rents out his clothes
to 12-year-olds.
398
00:16:39,298 --> 00:16:41,938
ALL GERGICHES:
♪ Eggs, bacon, and toast
399
00:16:42,401 --> 00:16:44,779
♪ Eggs, bacon, and toast
400
00:16:45,170 --> 00:16:47,047
♪ Why don't you start your day
401
00:16:47,106 --> 00:16:50,485
a“ The Gergich way with eggs,
bacon, and...
402
00:16:54,313 --> 00:16:56,293
Oh. Me? Toast...
403
00:16:56,415 --> 00:16:58,759
♪ Eggs, bacon, and toast
404
00:16:59,351 --> 00:17:01,729
♪ Eggs, bacon, and toast
405
00:17:01,787 --> 00:17:03,562
♪ Why don't you start your day
406
00:17:03,622 --> 00:17:05,499
♪ The Gergich way with
407
00:17:05,557 --> 00:17:06,592
♪ Eggs, bacon, and...
408
00:17:06,692 --> 00:17:07,693
♪ Toast ♪
409
00:17:07,793 --> 00:17:09,136
(ALL CHEERING)
410
00:17:10,329 --> 00:17:11,433
Very good.
411
00:17:11,497 --> 00:17:12,669
We sing that
every morning.
412
00:17:12,731 --> 00:17:16,110
But it's an extra treat because
you're here to sing it with us.
413
00:17:16,168 --> 00:17:17,442
JERRY: Mmm-hmm.
Thanks, guys.
414
00:17:17,503 --> 00:17:19,710
Jerry, I wanted your last
day at work to be special,
415
00:17:19,772 --> 00:17:21,217
and I feel like
I let you down.
416
00:17:21,273 --> 00:17:26,245
So I made you this scrapbook
with nearly four amazing pages
417
00:17:26,311 --> 00:17:28,985
jam-packed with memories of
your time in the government.
418
00:17:29,048 --> 00:17:31,858
Oh, my God... Well, look.
419
00:17:31,984 --> 00:17:33,793
Oh, honey.
420
00:17:33,852 --> 00:17:37,095
You look great in
every one of these.
421
00:17:37,156 --> 00:17:42,265
You are still the most handsome
man in the world to me.
422
00:17:42,394 --> 00:17:44,499
Ugh! Mom, come on.
423
00:17:44,763 --> 00:17:46,299
Yeah, geez, Mom.
We're eating.
424
00:17:46,365 --> 00:17:48,709
You know,
it doesn't make any sense.
425
00:17:48,767 --> 00:17:49,768
(ALL LAUGHING)
426
00:17:49,868 --> 00:17:52,815
Leslie, that is
really sweet of you,
427
00:17:52,871 --> 00:17:55,078
but you don't have
to worry about me.
428
00:17:55,140 --> 00:17:57,746
I'm great. Here. I want
to show you something.
429
00:17:57,943 --> 00:17:59,081
Okay.
430
00:17:59,778 --> 00:18:00,779
Whoa!
431
00:18:01,246 --> 00:18:03,283
You also dropped that,
clumsy.
432
00:18:06,785 --> 00:18:07,991
Where am I?
433
00:18:09,054 --> 00:18:12,866
I know I didn't achieve all my work
goals, but, Leslie, I don't care
434
00:18:13,092 --> 00:18:15,936
because for me, the best part about
working in the Parks Department
435
00:18:15,994 --> 00:18:19,874
was that I got to be home every
night with my family at 5:00.
436
00:18:20,299 --> 00:18:22,108
And to me,
that's what mattered most.
437
00:18:23,969 --> 00:18:25,471
Little Sebastian...
Wow!
438
00:18:25,704 --> 00:18:28,548
Jerry, thank you for
sharing this with me.
439
00:18:29,074 --> 00:18:30,382
I...
440
00:18:31,743 --> 00:18:33,086
You have a wonderful life.
441
00:18:33,178 --> 00:18:34,179
Mmm-hmm.
442
00:18:34,580 --> 00:18:35,581
Oh!
443
00:18:35,848 --> 00:18:36,849
Group hug.
444
00:18:37,416 --> 00:18:40,260
Oh, here they are. The hug
machine is here. (ALL LAUGH)
445
00:18:41,553 --> 00:18:46,161
Vroom, vroom, vroom. The hug machine...
It's firing on all cylinders.
446
00:18:48,927 --> 00:18:51,669
Okay, I think we should be
adults and talk about this.
447
00:18:52,064 --> 00:18:53,304
I would love to.
448
00:18:53,365 --> 00:18:55,242
I was nervous
after yesterday
449
00:18:55,300 --> 00:18:57,302
because I was thinking
what does this mean for us?
450
00:18:57,369 --> 00:18:59,406
Not as parents,
but as Chris and Ann?
451
00:18:59,471 --> 00:19:02,213
I don't think on-again, off-again
is a great parental model.
452
00:19:02,274 --> 00:19:04,015
Well, I completely agree.
453
00:19:04,109 --> 00:19:06,589
But if there is
a hypothetical chance
454
00:19:06,645 --> 00:19:09,751
that we could provide
a home with two parents
455
00:19:09,815 --> 00:19:11,522
who are hypothetically
together, then that
456
00:19:11,583 --> 00:19:13,460
could be even better.
Hypothetically.
457
00:19:13,719 --> 00:19:17,565
Of course. We should discuss and
consider all the possibilities.
458
00:19:18,357 --> 00:19:20,837
The most important thing
for me and I think for you
459
00:19:21,360 --> 00:19:22,634
is that we have a child.
460
00:19:22,728 --> 00:19:25,106
And I don't want to do
anything to jeopardize that.
461
00:19:28,167 --> 00:19:29,771
Do you want to make out?
I really do.
462
00:19:32,271 --> 00:19:33,614
Hey.
463
00:19:33,672 --> 00:19:36,118
What are you doing here, Jerry?
I thought you were fired.
464
00:19:36,175 --> 00:19:38,121
I wasn't fired.
I retired.
465
00:19:38,177 --> 00:19:39,315
That's what they all say.
466
00:19:39,378 --> 00:19:41,153
I asked Jerry
to come in.
467
00:19:41,213 --> 00:19:44,251
That new intern wasn't working
out, so I got rid of him.
468
00:19:44,316 --> 00:19:47,627
Once again, I object in the
strongest possible terms.
469
00:19:48,020 --> 00:19:49,761
Once again, noted.
470
00:19:49,821 --> 00:19:53,064
I have also asked Jerry to
come in a couple hours a week
471
00:19:53,125 --> 00:19:55,298
until we find
a permanent replacement.
472
00:19:55,360 --> 00:19:56,703
(GROANS) Just when
we were rid of him?
473
00:19:56,762 --> 00:19:57,832
Yeah, I don't know, Ron.
474
00:19:57,930 --> 00:19:59,170
Are you hearing me, son?
475
00:19:59,231 --> 00:20:01,711
Jerry will come in
once a week,
476
00:20:01,767 --> 00:20:03,440
and everyone will get
to watch him eat
477
00:20:03,502 --> 00:20:07,211
and talk to him about anything
he might do or say or fart.
478
00:20:08,140 --> 00:20:10,211
Welcome back, Jerry.
JERRY: Oh, thank you.
479
00:20:10,409 --> 00:20:12,912
It feels good
just to be back...
480
00:20:13,145 --> 00:20:14,419
(ANDY LAUGHS)
481
00:20:15,280 --> 00:20:16,657
ANDY: Classic new guy.
482
00:20:17,182 --> 00:20:19,594
I'm sorry that I spent
your day off with Jerry
483
00:20:19,651 --> 00:20:21,562
instead of relaxing with you.
It's all right.
484
00:20:21,620 --> 00:20:23,759
And after you fell asleep
making Jerry's scrapbook,
485
00:20:23,822 --> 00:20:27,326
I went back to Season 1 of
Fringe to check for plot holes.
486
00:20:27,793 --> 00:20:29,739
As I suspected, airtight.
487
00:20:30,596 --> 00:20:34,169
I'm sorry. This is all my fault.
I love my job.
488
00:20:34,466 --> 00:20:37,037
But in the blink of an eye,
I'm gonna be retiring,
489
00:20:37,102 --> 00:20:39,605
you know, and flying
off on Marine One
490
00:20:39,705 --> 00:20:41,343
with you and
a Secret Service detail.
491
00:20:42,307 --> 00:20:45,550
Achievements are great,
but I want more than that.
492
00:20:45,711 --> 00:20:47,622
I want what Jerry has.
493
00:20:49,715 --> 00:20:51,820
I mean,
we're always gonna work,
494
00:20:51,950 --> 00:20:54,089
but I think we need to
fill this scrapbook too.
495
00:20:55,053 --> 00:20:56,896
Maybe we should
take a real day off
496
00:20:57,022 --> 00:20:58,865
and talk about
starting our family.
497
00:21:00,125 --> 00:21:02,401
Yeah.
That sounds perfect.
498
00:21:03,929 --> 00:21:05,602
Hey, while you
were over at Jerry's,
499
00:21:05,664 --> 00:21:08,235
did you happen to get any information
about his history with Gayle?
500
00:21:08,300 --> 00:21:10,143
Like, was she
a Russian spy
501
00:21:10,202 --> 00:21:12,978
and the KGB forced her
to marry Jerry as a cover?
502
00:21:13,038 --> 00:21:15,075
You know, it's a mystery, Ben.
Let it go.
503
00:21:15,140 --> 00:21:16,881
Yeah, I can't. It keeps
me awake at night.
504
00:21:16,942 --> 00:21:18,683
Hey, maybe Gayle
has one of those
505
00:21:18,744 --> 00:21:21,520
Oliver Sacks brain
disorder thingies?
506
00:21:21,580 --> 00:21:23,890
Like, does she think
Jerry is a friendly hat?
507
00:21:23,949 --> 00:21:25,223
I think you solved it.
38737
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