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1
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♪♪♪♪♪♪
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- Morning, honey bun.
- Oh, Todd! Close the flap!
3
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- You're letting the light in.
- What is go... Prudence.
4
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You've been in here for days.
5
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Please don't tell me you're going crazy.
6
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I am too young to have a wife
7
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I have to hide in the attic.
8
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No, it's not that.
9
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Zeke and I had an awkward
conversation in Branchwater
10
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and I've kind of been avoiding him.
11
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Hey... as long as it's not
a "me" problem,
12
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I really don't care.
13
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Hmm.
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I don't remember taking this.
15
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Oh, you don't need to look at that.
16
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- Let's go get some breakfast.
- No, what is this?
17
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It's like a small black circle
18
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with two large white orbs
on either side.
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Todd! Is this your butt?
20
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I'm sorry, okay?
21
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I went to the bathroom in tall grass
22
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and I was worried
I got a tick on my butt.
23
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It was the only way
that I could look back there.
24
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- What... where are you going?
- Gross.
25
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Prudence, I'm sorry.
26
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I didn't mean to... oh, boy.
27
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Yep. Tick city. Location: My butt.
28
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Population: A lot.
29
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Synced & corrected by -robtor-
www.addic7ed.com
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Hey, Prudence. Long time, no see.
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Oh, me? Just chillin'.
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[WHISPERS] Stupid.
33
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Hey, Prudence.
34
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Hey! Hey... uch.
35
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- Hey, Zeke.
- Just chillin'!
36
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- What?
- Nothing.
37
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So, anyway, I, um...
38
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I really appreciate you
39
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sharing your feelings
with me in Branchwater.
40
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I really do, but we could
never be a thing.
41
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It's not like I could get a divorce.
42
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I'd be a social pariah forever, and
43
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you don't want to be known as
the wife-stealing reverend.
44
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So, I think it would be best
for both of us
45
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if you just moved on.
46
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Yeah, no. Of course you're right.
47
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Obviously, this is for the best.
48
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So we can go back to being friends?
49
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- No more drama?
- No more drama.
50
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[GUNSHOT]
51
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Everybody freeze! This is a stickup!
52
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- Come on!
- [PEOPLE CLAMORING]
53
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[GRUNTS OF EXERTION]
54
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I'll handle this.
55
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I'm a real bitch
before I've had my coffee.
56
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Congratulations.
57
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You've just been robbed by...
58
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- Trig's gang.
- Trig?
59
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Hey, honey, it's me! Benny!
60
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- Dad?
- Holy smokes!
61
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What are the odds of us
62
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running into each other out here?
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Come on, give your old man a hug.
64
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- [CHUCKLES]
- [CHUCKLES WEAKLY]
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I thought you were dead.
66
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Yeah, well, surprise.
67
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Guys! It's Benny!
68
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Ha ha ha ha! Benny!
69
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Hey, guys!
70
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- Aw, it's great to see you!
- Hey!
71
00:03:04,475 --> 00:03:06,460
Wow! The old gang's back together.
72
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I'm sorry. You're not upset
about the whole, uh...
73
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"Shooting me in the back and
leaving me for dead" thing?
74
00:03:12,178 --> 00:03:13,410
Nah, that's cool.
75
00:03:13,434 --> 00:03:15,080
I get why you did it.
76
00:03:15,104 --> 00:03:16,797
- Uh, you do?
- Sure!
77
00:03:16,821 --> 00:03:18,542
I mean, one less guy
to split the gold with.
78
00:03:18,566 --> 00:03:20,179
That's just smart business.
79
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I know you didn't mean
anything personal.
80
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- Right. Nothing personal.
- Hey, Benny!
81
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Our new hideout's not far from here.
82
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You should come over!
83
00:03:27,881 --> 00:03:29,318
Oh, I don't know about that, guys.
84
00:03:29,342 --> 00:03:32,311
No, I'm sure Benny has
a full plate, so...
85
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Actually, I'd love to come.
86
00:03:33,923 --> 00:03:37,367
I really missed you.
It'd be great to reconnect.
87
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[CHUCKLES] Yeah.
88
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- Why would I have a problem with that?
- Yeah!
89
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[MUTTERS] Spending time with
the father I tried to murder.
90
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Hey, everyone, I'm gonna go
hang out with my daughter.
91
00:03:46,467 --> 00:03:47,639
You guys good?
92
00:03:47,663 --> 00:03:49,377
- [WOMEN WEEPING]
- No.
93
00:03:49,401 --> 00:03:50,575
Eh, they're good.
94
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Why did he ask?
95
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What do we do now? They took everything.
96
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MAN: Ahoy there!
97
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Ahoy! Whoa.
98
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[CHUCKLES] Looks like you folks
99
00:04:03,161 --> 00:04:04,465
hit a spot of trouble.
100
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Yes, we were just robbed by bandits.
101
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Aw, that's awful! Brothers and sisters,
102
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let's give these poor people a hand.
103
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- [HYMN PLAYING]
- ♪♪ Holy, holy, holy ♪♪
104
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That's a lot of brothers and sisters.
105
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We are Noonans.
106
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I'm the prophet Jedidiah.
107
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God spoke to me and asked me
108
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to lead my people to the west
109
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to escape religious persecution.
110
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That's a pretty bold claim,
111
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that God speaks directly to you.
112
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I'm sorry, hold on. God's calling.
113
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Yes, God? Hello?
114
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Yeah, I'm with some people right now.
115
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Are you talking to God right now?
116
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Can you please tell him I'm a huge fan?
117
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Reverend Ezekiel Brown says hi.
118
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Reverend Ezekiel Brown says hi, God.
119
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- God says hi.
- Nice!
120
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Okay, God, bye-bye. [EXHALES]
121
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I'm so sorry about that.
122
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- No.
- Hey, would you folks mind
123
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if we fixed up your wagons and
replenished your supplies?
124
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Are you... sure!
I mean, that is a huge favor.
125
00:04:55,244 --> 00:04:57,913
Are you kidding? You will be
doing us a favor!
126
00:04:57,937 --> 00:05:00,418
There is nothing we Noonans like more
127
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than to help people in need.
128
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NOONANS: Please?
129
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Oh, I mean, yeah, yeah, yeah.
130
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- Sure, go ahead.
- You hear that, Noonans?
131
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Let's show them how we say thank you.
132
00:05:07,673 --> 00:05:08,805
NOONANS: Thank you.
133
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Uh.
134
00:05:09,832 --> 00:05:12,847
["BRINGING IN THE SHEAVES" PLAYS]
135
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TODD: Oh, okay.
136
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I'm Phaedra.
137
00:05:17,574 --> 00:05:19,583
I take it you are the...
138
00:05:19,607 --> 00:05:21,474
spiritual leader of your group?
139
00:05:21,498 --> 00:05:23,684
Well, I don't know if I'd
call myself the leader, per se.
140
00:05:23,708 --> 00:05:26,451
Most people tend to
ignore or openly scorn me.
141
00:05:26,475 --> 00:05:30,439
Well, I find it quite attractive.
142
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Huh.
143
00:05:34,442 --> 00:05:37,154
Maybe today won't be so bad after all.
144
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TRIG: So, this is the new lair.
145
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Aw, damn, Trig! This is swank! Ha!
146
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Well, under my leadership,
147
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the gang is doing better than ever.
148
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We're up in every sector...
149
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Robberies, murders, trains exploded.
150
00:05:55,937 --> 00:05:58,253
- Nice.
- Mm-hmm.
151
00:05:58,277 --> 00:06:00,517
Though there's a little
too much sunlight
152
00:06:00,541 --> 00:06:01,550
getting in for my taste.
153
00:06:01,574 --> 00:06:03,682
I mean, shouldn't a bandits' lair be
154
00:06:03,706 --> 00:06:05,385
more spooky-scary?
155
00:06:05,409 --> 00:06:06,913
[SIGHS] Okay, studies show that bandits
156
00:06:06,937 --> 00:06:09,119
are more productive
in a well-lit workspace.
157
00:06:09,143 --> 00:06:11,442
Plus, we're not always
shooting each other by mistake
158
00:06:11,466 --> 00:06:13,411
like we were in the old lair.
159
00:06:13,435 --> 00:06:15,403
Oh. Well, that's good, I guess.
160
00:06:15,427 --> 00:06:16,616
Oh, my God.
161
00:06:16,640 --> 00:06:18,803
- What'd you do with the treasure?
- I organized it.
162
00:06:18,827 --> 00:06:20,781
This way it's easier to find
what you're looking for.
163
00:06:20,805 --> 00:06:22,102
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
164
00:06:22,126 --> 00:06:24,550
You're missing the whole point
of having treasure.
165
00:06:24,574 --> 00:06:26,649
It's gotta be in a big sloppy pile
166
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preferably with a skull on top
167
00:06:28,574 --> 00:06:31,649
- with big rubies for eyes.
- Dad!
168
00:06:31,673 --> 00:06:34,682
[SIGHS] I'm glad
that you want to reconnect,
169
00:06:34,706 --> 00:06:36,574
but this is my gang now.
170
00:06:36,598 --> 00:06:38,022
We're doing things my way.
171
00:06:38,046 --> 00:06:40,418
And if you can't respect that,
you're welcome to leave.
172
00:06:40,442 --> 00:06:43,319
No, okay, I get it. You're in charge.
173
00:06:43,343 --> 00:06:46,133
I am zipping my lips and
throwing away the key.
174
00:06:46,157 --> 00:06:48,352
- Okay.
- And I'm shooting the key.
175
00:06:48,376 --> 00:06:50,758
And I'm burying it in an unmarked grave.
176
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[CHUCKLES]
177
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Hey folks! Look what I found outside,
178
00:06:53,871 --> 00:06:55,168
snooping around.
179
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Dingus, what are you doing here?
180
00:06:56,574 --> 00:06:58,549
I was following you, you big jerk.
181
00:06:58,573 --> 00:07:01,117
I didn't realize you were
leading me into a bandits' lair.
182
00:07:01,141 --> 00:07:02,715
Sorry, are you two friends or something?
183
00:07:02,739 --> 00:07:04,715
[CHUCKLES] Us? [LAUGHS]
184
00:07:04,739 --> 00:07:06,583
No, we're mortal enemies.
185
00:07:06,607 --> 00:07:07,786
Yeah, we understand each other,
186
00:07:07,820 --> 00:07:09,715
but we also very much
want to kill each other.
187
00:07:09,739 --> 00:07:12,352
Speaking of which, gang?
188
00:07:12,376 --> 00:07:13,682
It's execution time.
189
00:07:13,706 --> 00:07:14,748
[LAUGHS] All right!
190
00:07:14,772 --> 00:07:16,484
What did we just talk about?
191
00:07:16,508 --> 00:07:17,847
I forgot. You're in charge.
192
00:07:17,871 --> 00:07:18,814
You say it.
193
00:07:18,838 --> 00:07:21,979
Gang, it... It's execution time.
194
00:07:22,003 --> 00:07:24,444
- Yeah.
- Okay. Here we go.
195
00:07:24,871 --> 00:07:27,055
What? That was good, pumpkin.
196
00:07:27,506 --> 00:07:29,025
[GROWL OF FRUSTRATION]
197
00:07:29,050 --> 00:07:30,352
I thought it was good.
198
00:07:30,376 --> 00:07:32,385
ZEKE: Really, this is just incredible.
199
00:07:32,409 --> 00:07:33,484
We cannot thank you enough.
200
00:07:33,508 --> 00:07:34,517
Oh, it's truly our pleasure.
201
00:07:34,541 --> 00:07:37,011
And I hope you don't mind me
saying, but I love your dress.
202
00:07:37,035 --> 00:07:40,319
Oh, thank you.
It's the color of the heavens.
203
00:07:40,343 --> 00:07:43,364
It's almost time for my hourly prayers,
204
00:07:43,388 --> 00:07:45,649
but, I'll see you later?
205
00:07:45,673 --> 00:07:46,814
You certainly will.
206
00:07:46,838 --> 00:07:48,376
[CHUCKLES QUIETLY]
207
00:07:51,706 --> 00:07:53,883
Man, these Noonans are freaks, huh?
208
00:07:53,916 --> 00:07:56,181
One of them literally keeps
trying to comb my hair.
209
00:07:56,205 --> 00:07:58,060
Actually, I think they're
really good people.
210
00:07:58,084 --> 00:08:00,074
And you'll be happy to know
I took your advice
211
00:08:00,099 --> 00:08:02,640
and I'm going on a date
with one of them later.
212
00:08:03,320 --> 00:08:05,461
Wow! Wait, that's great.
213
00:08:05,772 --> 00:08:07,422
I'm so glad you found somebody,
214
00:08:07,463 --> 00:08:08,649
so... quickly.
215
00:08:08,673 --> 00:08:10,134
- What are the odds, right?
- Yeah.
216
00:08:10,165 --> 00:08:12,616
Well, I should go and change
into my date collar.
217
00:08:12,640 --> 00:08:14,847
See you later, Pru. Thank you again.
218
00:08:15,051 --> 00:08:16,855
Don't mention it.
219
00:08:18,409 --> 00:08:20,504
Bleagh! I said get away from me!
220
00:08:20,544 --> 00:08:22,110
God bless!
221
00:08:25,909 --> 00:08:27,682
I've never met anyone who likes
222
00:08:27,706 --> 00:08:29,880
the Book of Obadiah as much as I do!
223
00:08:29,904 --> 00:08:31,319
I am a huge Obadiah nerd.
224
00:08:31,343 --> 00:08:33,263
- The fall of Edom gets me every time.
- [STICK WHACKS]
225
00:08:33,317 --> 00:08:36,418
Tut tut! Remember
to leave three feet for God.
226
00:08:36,442 --> 00:08:38,517
Our Lord has very wide hips.
227
00:08:38,541 --> 00:08:40,880
- [ZEKE AND PHAEDRA LAUGHING]
- Hey, guys.
228
00:08:40,904 --> 00:08:42,748
I wanted to meet Zeke's mystery lady
229
00:08:42,772 --> 00:08:44,095
I've been hearing so much about.
230
00:08:44,144 --> 00:08:45,999
Yeah! Uh, Phaedra,
this is my friend Prudence.
231
00:08:46,023 --> 00:08:48,781
Oh, well, best friend.
More than that, really.
232
00:08:48,805 --> 00:08:52,451
Uh, so, Phaedra, what's your deal, girl?
233
00:08:52,475 --> 00:08:53,810
- Uh, my deal?
- Yeah, you know.
234
00:08:53,849 --> 00:08:55,550
Like, uh, what do you like
to do for fun?
235
00:08:55,574 --> 00:08:58,649
Oh, um... I don't have fun.
236
00:08:58,673 --> 00:09:01,021
I mostly just stare at the wall
237
00:09:01,059 --> 00:09:02,759
and dwell on the nature of guilt.
238
00:09:02,783 --> 00:09:05,649
[CHUCKLES] Yeesh.
Real live wire over here.
239
00:09:05,673 --> 00:09:07,928
You dwell on guilt? Me, too.
240
00:09:07,973 --> 00:09:09,774
It is one of my favorite forms of shame.
241
00:09:09,798 --> 00:09:12,748
Really? How do you feel
about self-denial?
242
00:09:12,772 --> 00:09:13,889
I love it. It's like,
243
00:09:13,922 --> 00:09:15,682
how much stuff do you
actually need, self?
244
00:09:15,706 --> 00:09:16,781
Right? So little!
245
00:09:16,805 --> 00:09:18,092
[PRUDENCE LAUGHS] Goals.
246
00:09:18,144 --> 00:09:19,572
Seems like you two
have a lot to talk about,
247
00:09:19,600 --> 00:09:20,857
so I'm just gonna... I'm gonna go.
248
00:09:20,882 --> 00:09:22,319
- Nice to meet you.
- Okay, quick.
249
00:09:22,343 --> 00:09:24,781
What is your favorite way
of cleansing sin?
250
00:09:24,805 --> 00:09:26,484
One, two, three.
251
00:09:26,508 --> 00:09:28,385
BOTH: Mortification of the flesh!
252
00:09:28,409 --> 00:09:31,003
- [BOTH TALKING EXCITEDLY]
- Tut tut tut!
253
00:09:31,673 --> 00:09:32,649
- Thank you.
- Mm-hmm.
254
00:09:32,673 --> 00:09:36,418
Oh, your fingers are like magic, Josiah.
255
00:09:36,442 --> 00:09:38,335
Oh, Prudence.
How great are these Noonans?
256
00:09:38,359 --> 00:09:40,715
They'll do anything you ask
if you say that you're in need,
257
00:09:40,739 --> 00:09:43,227
which as you know, I am. Hey!
258
00:09:43,264 --> 00:09:45,385
Careful with the nails, Jethro.
259
00:09:45,409 --> 00:09:47,772
I'm so poor.
260
00:09:48,475 --> 00:09:49,880
What does Zeke like about that girl?
261
00:09:49,904 --> 00:09:51,102
A bowl of oatmeal in a wig
262
00:09:51,139 --> 00:09:52,623
would have more personality than her.
263
00:09:52,670 --> 00:09:54,484
Well, I mean, the Reverend's
a pretty boring guy, too,
264
00:09:54,508 --> 00:09:56,673
so it seems like the perfect match.
265
00:09:57,625 --> 00:09:59,451
[SCOFFS] Whatever. It's just one date.
266
00:09:59,475 --> 00:10:00,848
It's not like they're getting married.
267
00:10:00,883 --> 00:10:02,277
[BELL RINGING]
268
00:10:02,301 --> 00:10:04,715
Glorious news, brothers and sisters.
269
00:10:04,739 --> 00:10:06,051
Ezekiel and Phaedra
270
00:10:06,075 --> 00:10:08,519
found their first date satisfactory.
271
00:10:08,543 --> 00:10:10,451
So the wedding will commence
this afternoon.
272
00:10:10,475 --> 00:10:11,705
- What?
- Noonans!
273
00:10:11,729 --> 00:10:14,550
Let's show them how we say
congratulations.
274
00:10:14,574 --> 00:10:16,682
NOONANS: Congratulations.
275
00:10:16,706 --> 00:10:17,767
Don't stop.
276
00:10:19,281 --> 00:10:20,233
[MOANS]
277
00:10:20,258 --> 00:10:21,649
Any last words?
278
00:10:21,673 --> 00:10:23,189
Eh...
279
00:10:23,750 --> 00:10:24,813
Maybe.
280
00:10:24,838 --> 00:10:26,259
You know what? No, I'm good.
281
00:10:26,283 --> 00:10:27,814
Then tell the devil...
282
00:10:27,838 --> 00:10:29,781
Trig says hi.
283
00:10:29,805 --> 00:10:31,682
Yeah, okay.
284
00:10:31,706 --> 00:10:34,385
Yes, Dad, is there a problem?
285
00:10:34,409 --> 00:10:36,682
What? No. You're doing great.
286
00:10:36,706 --> 00:10:37,765
Okay, then.
287
00:10:37,790 --> 00:10:40,265
Tell the devil Trig says hi.
288
00:10:40,289 --> 00:10:41,385
[YAWNS] Oh, God. Excuse me.
289
00:10:41,409 --> 00:10:43,204
Okay, clearly you have something to say,
290
00:10:43,228 --> 00:10:44,814
so why don't you just say it?
291
00:10:44,838 --> 00:10:46,117
Okay, it's just...
292
00:10:46,160 --> 00:10:48,517
can we do something better
than shooting him?
293
00:10:48,541 --> 00:10:49,883
Anybody can shoot a guy.
294
00:10:49,907 --> 00:10:51,517
I mean, where's the showmanship?
295
00:10:51,541 --> 00:10:53,933
What about tying him
to the train tracks,
296
00:10:53,957 --> 00:10:55,745
or throw him off a cliff? Something.
297
00:10:55,783 --> 00:10:57,517
This is the way I like to kill people.
298
00:10:57,541 --> 00:10:59,198
It is clean. It is efficient.
299
00:10:59,222 --> 00:11:01,710
"I'm Trig, the efficiency machine.
300
00:11:01,734 --> 00:11:04,089
What is the square root
of killing a guy?"
301
00:11:04,116 --> 00:11:05,915
- [CREW LAUGHS]
- Okay, I don't sound like that.
302
00:11:05,954 --> 00:11:07,038
You know what might be fun?
303
00:11:07,062 --> 00:11:08,819
Take a big rock and just drop it on him.
304
00:11:08,843 --> 00:11:10,820
- That's fun.
- What if we tie his limbs
305
00:11:10,847 --> 00:11:12,276
to horses and rip him apart?
306
00:11:12,300 --> 00:11:14,029
What if we do something
bad to his penis?
307
00:11:14,062 --> 00:11:15,333
Actually, could you just shoot me?
308
00:11:15,357 --> 00:11:16,925
We could make him sit on some knives.
309
00:11:16,956 --> 00:11:18,938
- He'd bleed from his butt.
- Now we're cooking. What else?
310
00:11:18,971 --> 00:11:20,351
Feed him to the
alligators. In the desert?
311
00:11:20,375 --> 00:11:21,725
You ain't got alligators
out here? [EXHALES]
312
00:11:21,750 --> 00:11:23,321
Cut off his legs and call him Shorty.
313
00:11:23,345 --> 00:11:25,352
Or we can just let him go.
314
00:11:25,376 --> 00:11:26,327
Who said that?
315
00:11:26,351 --> 00:11:28,748
- [HORN PLAYS "STRIP" MUSIC]
- [MEN CHEER]
316
00:11:28,772 --> 00:11:31,385
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
317
00:11:31,409 --> 00:11:33,547
Hey, Zeke, can I talk to you for a sec?
318
00:11:33,598 --> 00:11:36,129
I'm sorry. Is this stripper
puttingonclothes?
319
00:11:36,153 --> 00:11:37,861
Yes, the Noonans are throwing me
320
00:11:37,885 --> 00:11:39,081
a traditional Noonan bachelor party
321
00:11:39,105 --> 00:11:41,256
and technically she's
a dresser, not a stripper.
322
00:11:41,281 --> 00:11:44,488
- Put it on, baby!
- Oopsies.
323
00:11:44,525 --> 00:11:46,786
[CHEERS CONTINUE]
324
00:11:49,479 --> 00:11:52,422
Zeke, are you sure about
this whole marriage thing?
325
00:11:52,446 --> 00:11:54,578
I know it seems quick, but Phaedra and I
326
00:11:54,624 --> 00:11:55,678
have so much in common.
327
00:11:55,711 --> 00:11:57,026
It's like I'm marrying my sister!
328
00:11:57,050 --> 00:12:00,059
Uh, yeah, that's not usually the goal.
329
00:12:00,083 --> 00:12:01,191
Don't you want to be with someone
330
00:12:01,215 --> 00:12:02,158
you have chemistry with?
331
00:12:02,182 --> 00:12:03,191
Okay, I'm sorry. I'm confused.
332
00:12:03,215 --> 00:12:04,861
You were the one telling me
I should move on.
333
00:12:04,885 --> 00:12:07,257
Now I've done that and you're
being really weird about it.
334
00:12:07,281 --> 00:12:09,813
I'm just looking out for you,
as a friend.
335
00:12:09,840 --> 00:12:11,598
Okay, well, thanks, Pru,
336
00:12:11,622 --> 00:12:13,224
but Phaedra's the right person for me.
337
00:12:13,248 --> 00:12:15,323
Ezekiel! Get over here!
338
00:12:15,347 --> 00:12:17,380
Ooh! Gotta make it rain!
339
00:12:18,910 --> 00:12:20,844
Alms for the poor?
340
00:12:21,753 --> 00:12:25,158
- [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
- Yeah! God bless you.
341
00:12:25,182 --> 00:12:27,257
Now this is an execution...
342
00:12:27,281 --> 00:12:28,729
Death by fire ants.
343
00:12:28,753 --> 00:12:31,257
Uch. I really hate you
for this one, Benny.
344
00:12:31,281 --> 00:12:32,976
I still don't see how this is any better
345
00:12:33,000 --> 00:12:34,059
than just shooting him.
346
00:12:34,083 --> 00:12:35,257
What? This is way cooler.
347
00:12:35,281 --> 00:12:36,158
Back me up here, Dingus.
348
00:12:36,182 --> 00:12:38,125
Yeah, I hate to say it,
but this is cooler.
349
00:12:38,149 --> 00:12:42,849
Now to apply the honey,
and let the ant buffet begin.
350
00:12:42,873 --> 00:12:43,965
Aah!
351
00:12:43,989 --> 00:12:46,059
Oh, oh, oh, here.
Why don't you do the honors?
352
00:12:46,083 --> 00:12:47,266
Oh, no. Why don't you do it?
353
00:12:47,292 --> 00:12:48,960
I mean, clearly you're
running the gang now.
354
00:12:48,984 --> 00:12:51,125
Don't be like that.
You're still in charge.
355
00:12:51,149 --> 00:12:52,311
- You can do it.
- No, you do it.
356
00:12:52,335 --> 00:12:53,790
Maybe we should just
pick it up tomorrow.
357
00:12:53,814 --> 00:12:55,499
- Just do it!
- No, I don't want to do it.
358
00:12:55,523 --> 00:12:57,884
- Don't be a baby and do it!
- I said, I don't want to!
359
00:12:57,934 --> 00:12:59,356
- God!
- Yeesh.
360
00:12:59,380 --> 00:13:02,228
You want to know the real
reason I shot you in the back?
361
00:13:02,252 --> 00:13:05,525
It's because everything
always has to be about you.
362
00:13:05,555 --> 00:13:08,828
I was always second fiddle
to the great Benny the Teen!
363
00:13:08,852 --> 00:13:11,895
And you're so egotistical,
you can't stand the idea
364
00:13:11,929 --> 00:13:15,015
that I might be better
at leading the gang than you!
365
00:13:15,039 --> 00:13:16,404
And now, I'm crying
366
00:13:16,428 --> 00:13:17,828
in front of the prisoner,
so that's just great.
367
00:13:17,852 --> 00:13:20,996
Oh, no, don't mind me.
I'm just looking at the dirt.
368
00:13:21,024 --> 00:13:23,026
You all suck.
369
00:13:23,050 --> 00:13:25,290
Trig! What... [SIGHS]
370
00:13:25,314 --> 00:13:27,523
Drama! [LAUGHS]
371
00:13:27,547 --> 00:13:29,125
Am I right, guys?
372
00:13:29,149 --> 00:13:31,356
Welcome to Brother Ezekiel
373
00:13:31,380 --> 00:13:33,960
and Sister Phaedra's rehearsal lunch.
374
00:13:33,984 --> 00:13:35,828
Let me tell you, my girl Phaedra
375
00:13:35,852 --> 00:13:37,290
can get a little crazy.
376
00:13:37,314 --> 00:13:38,894
Oh, no! Here it comes.
377
00:13:38,918 --> 00:13:41,125
Like when she organized a church crawl,
378
00:13:41,149 --> 00:13:44,527
and prayed at 15 chapels in one night.
379
00:13:44,568 --> 00:13:47,257
I got so... rewarded.
380
00:13:47,281 --> 00:13:48,469
This is insane.
381
00:13:48,536 --> 00:13:50,290
It's like he's a completely
different person with her.
382
00:13:50,314 --> 00:13:51,389
Sorry, dear, did you say something?
383
00:13:51,413 --> 00:13:54,290
I can't hear you with the fan in my ear.
384
00:13:54,314 --> 00:13:56,894
Well, don't stop. I'm a hot little baby.
385
00:13:56,918 --> 00:14:00,290
You are going to be
the meekest bride ever.
386
00:14:00,314 --> 00:14:02,092
I love you like a sister wife.
387
00:14:02,116 --> 00:14:03,389
- Aw!
- [POLITE APPLAUSE]
388
00:14:03,413 --> 00:14:04,894
[GLASS CLINKS]
389
00:14:04,918 --> 00:14:08,059
Hey, everybody. Zeke's bestie here.
390
00:14:08,083 --> 00:14:10,257
Sorry to interrupt the swell time
391
00:14:10,281 --> 00:14:12,861
we're all not having.
392
00:14:12,885 --> 00:14:14,413
[LAUGHS]
393
00:14:15,314 --> 00:14:17,142
Whoo. Tough crowd.
394
00:14:17,169 --> 00:14:18,476
She's bombing.
395
00:14:18,520 --> 00:14:20,861
So, I know Phaedra thinks she's marrying
396
00:14:20,885 --> 00:14:23,422
this upright man of God,
397
00:14:23,446 --> 00:14:26,356
but I actually know a different Zeke.
398
00:14:26,380 --> 00:14:27,474
[NERVOUS LAUGHTER]
399
00:14:27,498 --> 00:14:28,894
Where are... where are you
going with this, Pru?
400
00:14:28,918 --> 00:14:31,389
For example, everyone sees Zeke
401
00:14:31,413 --> 00:14:34,076
as this very proper guy, and he is,
402
00:14:34,100 --> 00:14:37,224
except for when he eats
too many beans on the trail
403
00:14:37,248 --> 00:14:39,828
and becomes Colonel Fartington.
404
00:14:39,852 --> 00:14:41,125
I don't know what she's talking about.
405
00:14:41,149 --> 00:14:42,960
Oh, come on! Yes, you do.
406
00:14:42,984 --> 00:14:44,026
[SOUTHERN ACCENT] I do declare,
407
00:14:44,050 --> 00:14:46,026
I've made a stinky in my pantaloons!
408
00:14:46,050 --> 00:14:48,026
- [CROWD MURMURS]
- I don't do the accent!
409
00:14:48,050 --> 00:14:49,257
Who's Colonel Fartington?
410
00:14:49,281 --> 00:14:52,290
Zeke likes to say,
"Early to bed, early to rise,"
411
00:14:52,314 --> 00:14:54,419
but I've seen this night owl
412
00:14:54,443 --> 00:14:55,765
stay up until past 9:00.
413
00:14:55,789 --> 00:14:56,960
That's not too bad.
414
00:14:56,984 --> 00:14:57,971
- Thirty!
- What?!
415
00:14:58,011 --> 00:15:00,059
What are you doing?
And I've saved the dirtiest
416
00:15:00,083 --> 00:15:01,159
little secret for last.
417
00:15:01,183 --> 00:15:02,191
Pru, please, don't.
418
00:15:02,215 --> 00:15:05,644
Because my man Zeke is a full-blown,
419
00:15:05,668 --> 00:15:07,026
raging...
420
00:15:07,050 --> 00:15:10,059
- chocoholic!
- [ALL GASP]
421
00:15:10,083 --> 00:15:10,960
What the [BLEEP]?
422
00:15:10,984 --> 00:15:12,158
I had a small thing for malt balls,
423
00:15:12,182 --> 00:15:13,544
but I am good now, I swear.
424
00:15:13,568 --> 00:15:15,894
I didn't even know who you are anymore!
425
00:15:15,918 --> 00:15:18,729
No! Phaedra! I've been clean for months!
426
00:15:18,753 --> 00:15:21,526
What was that?!
You just ruined my marriage!
427
00:15:21,550 --> 00:15:23,861
That girl was a dud.
I'm doing you a favor.
428
00:15:23,885 --> 00:15:25,623
How is that a favor? You reject me,
429
00:15:25,647 --> 00:15:27,224
and then you take away
my only other chance at love?
430
00:15:27,248 --> 00:15:28,323
I'm just trying to be your friend.
431
00:15:28,347 --> 00:15:29,421
Well, how about this?
432
00:15:29,476 --> 00:15:32,215
Next time you want to be my friend,
just don't.
433
00:15:37,885 --> 00:15:40,927
[EXHALES] You are a good bandit.
434
00:15:40,951 --> 00:15:44,356
You've stolen lots of money.
435
00:15:44,944 --> 00:15:46,479
Knock, knock.
436
00:15:47,033 --> 00:15:48,053
What do you want?
437
00:15:48,084 --> 00:15:49,196
I've been thinking about
what you said earlier,
438
00:15:49,220 --> 00:15:52,960
and, uh, I really do want us
to have a good relationship.
439
00:15:53,352 --> 00:15:56,314
And I think I finally see
where you're coming from.
440
00:15:59,750 --> 00:16:01,159
And?
441
00:16:01,183 --> 00:16:02,453
[SIGHS]
442
00:16:03,041 --> 00:16:06,149
You're upset because I...
443
00:16:06,248 --> 00:16:07,993
well, I'm good at leading the gang,
444
00:16:08,017 --> 00:16:10,092
and well, you kinda suck at it.
445
00:16:10,116 --> 00:16:12,323
See, I'm a natural-born alpha
446
00:16:12,347 --> 00:16:15,134
with competence and charisma to spare,
447
00:16:15,158 --> 00:16:17,356
and you're more of a beta follower type.
448
00:16:17,380 --> 00:16:20,154
I know it must be so hard
living in the shadow
449
00:16:20,183 --> 00:16:24,049
of someone who's better
than you in every single way,
450
00:16:24,073 --> 00:16:26,389
but sweetie, the sooner
that you can accept it,
451
00:16:26,413 --> 00:16:28,125
then the sooner we can get back
452
00:16:28,149 --> 00:16:30,932
to having a good relationship.
453
00:16:32,517 --> 00:16:35,770
Wow, that felt so good
to get off my chest.
454
00:16:36,380 --> 00:16:38,059
Hear this, Benny.
455
00:16:38,248 --> 00:16:43,059
You and I will never
have a relationship.
456
00:16:43,083 --> 00:16:47,521
As far as I'm concerned,
you're dead to me.
457
00:16:47,545 --> 00:16:49,951
Do you understand that?
458
00:16:49,975 --> 00:16:51,661
Dead!
459
00:16:53,545 --> 00:16:56,389
Well, that didn't go
as well as I expected.
460
00:16:56,413 --> 00:16:57,422
All right, look, it's getting late.
461
00:16:57,446 --> 00:16:59,111
I should probably, uh...
462
00:16:59,135 --> 00:17:00,545
[SLAPS KNEE]
463
00:17:01,215 --> 00:17:04,026
Oh, uh... want this back over there?
464
00:17:04,050 --> 00:17:05,812
- Or should I leave it here?
- Get out!
465
00:17:05,868 --> 00:17:07,343
I'll just leave it here.
466
00:17:10,139 --> 00:17:12,431
Not in the back, okay?
467
00:17:15,093 --> 00:17:18,135
♪♪♪♪♪♪
468
00:17:18,545 --> 00:17:19,637
Hey, Zeke.
469
00:17:19,661 --> 00:17:21,026
MAN: We're gathered here
today to witness...
470
00:17:21,050 --> 00:17:21,981
What's going on?
471
00:17:22,005 --> 00:17:23,274
I thought the wedding was off.
472
00:17:23,307 --> 00:17:24,191
Oh, it is.
473
00:17:24,215 --> 00:17:27,737
Phaedra took some time
to get over the breakup,
474
00:17:27,768 --> 00:17:31,455
but eventually she moved on
and found somebody new.
475
00:17:31,479 --> 00:17:34,356
- Wow. These people move fast.
- Mm.
476
00:17:34,380 --> 00:17:35,323
It's okay, though.
477
00:17:35,721 --> 00:17:38,158
Maybe I'm just not meant
to be with anyone.
478
00:17:38,833 --> 00:17:41,335
I know you were just
looking out for my happiness.
479
00:17:43,215 --> 00:17:44,224
JEDIDIAH: If anyone has a reason
480
00:17:44,248 --> 00:17:45,861
why these two should not be wed,
481
00:17:45,885 --> 00:17:49,260
please speak now,
or forever hold your peace.
482
00:17:51,252 --> 00:17:52,763
I do.
483
00:17:54,640 --> 00:17:58,554
Phaedra, you need
to give Zeke another chance.
484
00:17:59,061 --> 00:18:02,389
I know I said some vaguely
damning things about him,
485
00:18:02,413 --> 00:18:05,455
but he is an incredible guy.
486
00:18:05,479 --> 00:18:09,215
He's kind and thoughtful and caring.
487
00:18:12,013 --> 00:18:13,659
Truth is...
488
00:18:14,149 --> 00:18:16,356
any woman would be crazy
not to be with him
489
00:18:16,380 --> 00:18:18,215
if she had the chance.
490
00:18:18,828 --> 00:18:20,554
Josiah, I'm sorry.
491
00:18:20,578 --> 00:18:22,391
My heart belongs to another.
492
00:18:22,416 --> 00:18:23,996
Makes sense.
493
00:18:24,021 --> 00:18:26,219
Ezekiel, get up here.
494
00:18:27,095 --> 00:18:29,260
- Thank you, Pru.
- Yeah.
495
00:18:31,347 --> 00:18:32,626
If you can move out, thanks.
496
00:18:32,650 --> 00:18:34,125
JEDIDIAH: Well, Sister Phaedra,
497
00:18:34,149 --> 00:18:35,219
do you take Brother Ezekiel
498
00:18:35,283 --> 00:18:36,770
to be your lawfully wedded husband?
499
00:18:36,794 --> 00:18:38,986
- I do.
- And do you, Ezekiel,
500
00:18:39,011 --> 00:18:42,380
take Sister Phaedra to be
your lawfully wedded wife?
501
00:18:44,083 --> 00:18:46,049
- I do.
- I now pronounce you
502
00:18:46,073 --> 00:18:49,149
man and wife. You may kiss the bride.
503
00:18:50,050 --> 00:18:51,125
Tut, tut, tut!
504
00:18:51,149 --> 00:18:52,521
Leave three inches for God.
505
00:18:52,545 --> 00:18:55,159
He likes a good triple kiss.
506
00:18:56,761 --> 00:19:00,869
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
507
00:19:00,894 --> 00:19:02,870
♪♪♪♪♪♪
508
00:19:03,333 --> 00:19:05,045
Thanks, Pru.
509
00:19:05,070 --> 00:19:09,037
♪♪♪♪♪♪
510
00:19:10,413 --> 00:19:14,182
[SLOW WALTZ PLAYS]
511
00:19:18,141 --> 00:19:19,414
What's going on here?
512
00:19:19,934 --> 00:19:22,488
Uh, we ran into
an extremist religious sect,
513
00:19:22,512 --> 00:19:24,488
and Zeke married one of them.
514
00:19:24,512 --> 00:19:26,125
Oh. That's cool.
515
00:19:26,149 --> 00:19:27,323
How'd it go with Trig?
516
00:19:27,566 --> 00:19:29,422
Not great. She basically wrote me out
517
00:19:29,446 --> 00:19:32,446
of her life forever, so... yeah.
518
00:19:33,083 --> 00:19:34,356
[SIGHS] Yeah.
519
00:19:34,380 --> 00:19:36,026
Wanna get totally shitfaced?
520
00:19:36,050 --> 00:19:37,356
I thought you'd never ask.
521
00:19:37,380 --> 00:19:39,092
[POLITE APPLAUSE]
522
00:19:39,116 --> 00:19:40,555
Ahh... mmm...
523
00:19:40,579 --> 00:19:42,059
[BELL RINGS]
524
00:19:42,083 --> 00:19:44,334
Well, Noonans, it is time for us
525
00:19:44,369 --> 00:19:46,422
to continue on our journey.
526
00:19:46,446 --> 00:19:47,488
What's happening?
527
00:19:47,512 --> 00:19:49,290
No. Wait, wait, wait. No, no, no.
528
00:19:49,314 --> 00:19:50,620
No, no, Jedidiah, no, no, no.
529
00:19:50,644 --> 00:19:52,389
You can't leave, okay?
I've become accustomed
530
00:19:52,413 --> 00:19:54,290
to the Noonans servicing my every whim.
531
00:19:54,314 --> 00:19:55,940
Mr. Aberdeen, you don't need our help.
532
00:19:55,964 --> 00:19:57,684
You look like you're back
on your feet again.
533
00:19:57,708 --> 00:19:58,655
No, I'm not, though!
534
00:19:58,679 --> 00:20:00,158
I still need help.
I'm a very sick person,
535
00:20:00,182 --> 00:20:01,522
both physically and morally.
536
00:20:01,566 --> 00:20:03,138
I'm unkind towards children!
537
00:20:03,162 --> 00:20:05,372
Well, that's not something
we can help you with.
538
00:20:05,416 --> 00:20:07,594
I have impure thoughts about my mother.
539
00:20:08,167 --> 00:20:09,308
There, I said it.
540
00:20:09,333 --> 00:20:10,851
I think she's hot and I want her bad.
541
00:20:10,876 --> 00:20:13,170
No one's asking you to say these things.
542
00:20:13,194 --> 00:20:14,259
Please just leave us alone.
543
00:20:14,283 --> 00:20:16,302
I kissed a dog because
I was lonely, once.
544
00:20:16,326 --> 00:20:17,938
Okay, fine! It was a bunch,
545
00:20:17,962 --> 00:20:20,203
- and it was nice.
- Okay, we're leaving.
546
00:20:20,227 --> 00:20:22,092
The dog and I had a long-lasting
547
00:20:22,127 --> 00:20:23,533
and meaningful relationship!
548
00:20:23,557 --> 00:20:26,599
Does that do anything for you?
549
00:20:26,623 --> 00:20:28,368
Please don't go!
550
00:20:28,392 --> 00:20:32,656
Noonans! [WAILS]
39370
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