All language subtitles for Melrose Place S07E19 The Usual Santas.eng

Hey, Peter.

Hey, Lou, how you doing?

Good, good.

I don't know if I'm Santa
material, you know.

Come on, you look
great. You look great.

- You sure?
- Yeah,

and wait till you
see these kids' faces.

- The smiles?
- Yeah.

You know, for some of them,
it's the only Christmas they'll have.

Yeah, sure, sure.

Hey, you guys.
Hey, looking good.

Listen, this things a little
small on me. How about yours?

- Could I check it out?
- Sure. Here, try this one.

Okay, now look, Michael,
I have you booked

- at Figueroa
Elementary, - Okay.

And Peter, you're at Olympic.

- Right, okay.
- That's perfect.

Here, you want
to try that on first?

Yeah, thanks.

Of course it's like 90 degrees

and we're gonna sweat
like pigs, ho-ho-ho.

Quit grousing. It's for a
good cause, right, Doc?

Right! Bring a little
cheer to some great kids.

Come on, to the sleigh,
gentlemen! I'm driving.

Be honest with me: I look okay?

- Home Depot.
- Ho, ho, ho.

- Hey!
- Ho, ho, ho!

No, only Amanda and I
should have signing privileges.

I mean, after all,
it was our money

that started the foundation.

Eve is an equal
partner in all ways

or I pull my money out
and you're on your own.

Besides, it was Eve's
idea to get Hanson

for the benefit
concert at Upstairs.

Look, I...

- This is a robbery!
- Everybody down!

All right, come on, you guys.

Hurry up, open the drawer! Now!

- Shut up! Get down!
- Come on, get the money!

- Get down!
- Come on, let's go!

Don't even think about moving.

Purses and rings!

Let's have them. Move it.

Amanda: Don't look.

Let's have them! Move it!

Are you kidding? Give it to him!

Move it!

Come on, get the
money! Come on, let's go!

- Where's yours?
- I'm not married, Kringle.

Don't rub it in.

Back on the floor now!

All right, give me your purse!

Who chose this bank anyway?

Yeah.

Don't look at me.

Let's go!

Go, go, go, go!

One hour max, right?

You drop us off then pick us up?

If you want to stay longer,
there's no time limit here.

I feel like a pimp

in this car of yours.

Hey, guys, the Santa pimpmobile.

♪ Dashing through the snow ♪

♪ In a one-horse open sleigh ♪

♪ O'er the fields we go,
laughing all the way ♪

Ho-ho-ho!

♪ Bells on bobtails ring ♪

♪ Making spirits bright ♪

Hey, fellas...

Pull the vehicle over!

- How fast are you going?
- I don't know.

Pull over! Now!

- You have any tickets?
- No! I didn't do anything.

I'm in the limit, I swear!

Out of the car! Now!

Let's go! Now!
Get out of the car!

Okay.

All right.

Hands where I can see!

Okay, okay, all
right, all right.

Geez, come on, take it easy.

Easy!

I'm not okay.

Come on, man.

What's this all about?

Hands above your head. Let's go.

Are we jolly now, Michael?

Ho, ho, ho. It's okay.

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪ Snowmen, angels,
ribbons, bows ♪

♪ Dreams of cocoa
and mistletoe ♪

♪ Seems like years
since I been home ♪

♪ Can't bear to spend
another Christmas alone ♪

♪ Packed my bags,
I'm on my way ♪

♪ On my way... ♪

♪ Heading home
for the holidays ♪

♪ Crowded airports,
flights delayed ♪

♪ Shoulda hitched a
ride on Santa's sleigh ♪

♪ Can't wait to
see their faces ♪

♪ Told them all I
couldn't make it ♪

♪ But I'm gonna be
there really soon ♪

♪ Twinkle lights and caroling ♪

♪ Candy canes
with sugar cookies ♪

♪ I'm coming home
for Christmas ♪

♪ I'm coming home
for Christmas... ♪

Turn to the right.

And to the left.

Face forward.

And to the left.

And to the right.

Face forward.

To the left.

To the right.

Face forward.

And to the left.

To the right.

Your other right.

Face forward.

To the left.

To the right.

Face forward.

♪ Neighbors waving
happy holidays... ♪

Stand on the yellow line

and face the mirror.

I wish someone would
tell us what this is all about.

Yellow line, now.

These people have
no sense of humor.

It's hard to say.

Uh, they all look alike.

If we could see them
without the beards.

Okay, beards off.

Turn left, turn right.

Oh, my God, it's Peter.

And Kyle.

Ryan, Michael...

Is that Dr. Visconti?

Oh, my God.

This is priceless.

Uh, officer,

um, there's been
a horrible mistake.

Eve and I are
married to two of them.

Three of them are doctors
at Wilshire Memorial.

They were dressed
for a volunteer job

going around to local
elementary schools.

They couldn't have been
anywhere near that bank.

Okay, you're free to go.

Sorry for the inconvenience.

Merry Christmas. Hope
you catch the real guys.

Thank you.

- Oh...
- Hey.

You know, you were so
lucky that we were at that bank.

KYLE Come on,
get me out of here.

You looked very cozy.

Have a nice day.

Oh, see, you try to do
a favor for somebody

and see what happens.

Oh, I hope this isn't
some kind of bad omen.

I was counting on this
being a great Christmas.

Our first Christmas together.

And our last Christmas alone.

Next year, we're gonna
have a baby in the house.

Come here. I want to
show you something.

I know this is jumping the
gun, but I couldn't resist.

Oh! Isn't it to die for?

It's great.

Yeah, you know,
before you have kids,

Christmas is just a hassle,

but now it's taking on
a whole new meaning.

We can get back
to being a kid again.

You know, I have
lived a pretty wild life,

but I have never made
love to Santa Claus before.

No, it's just..! It's me, Ryan!

- Oh, my God!
- It's okay.

I'm so sorry I'm
late. I'm so sorry.

That's all right.

Where were you? You're,
like, three hours late.

Everything was ready.
I hope you're not drunk.

No, I was just...
I was in jail, is all.

That's-that's not all.

It was this huge case
of mistaken identity...

Don't tell me.

Somebody thought
you were Santa Claus.

No. Bank robbers
dressed as Santa Claus.

We were on our way
to the volunteer gig

and these cops pull us over.

Apparently, guys dressed as
Santa Claus are robbing banks.

Anyway, they-they realized
their mistake and they let us go.

This is all very strange.

I know. Too strange to make up.

I've been looking
forward to tonight all day.

Well, you know what?

The, uh, dinner is cold,

and the wine is, is warm.

But, um, we can still
decorate the Christmas tree.

I mean, that was
the whole idea, right,

was to... do that together?

W-was it? The whole idea?

Oh, sure.

I mean, I did go out and buy
the tree and the ornaments.

I mean, I'm ready.

Well, yeah, I'm ready, too.

I've been ready for weeks.

We're not talking about
Christmas trees anymore, are we?

What Christmas tree?

Mmm.

Hey.

That's uh, that's
very nice work.

Is that for me?

For Amanda, and don't even
think about ruining the surprise.

I guess you didn't get
my messages earlier.

I called from the
police station. Twice.

Actually, I was arrested.

I mean, we were arrested:
Kyle and Peter and Ryan...

Sorry. I didn't
check my machine.

Apparently, you
got yourself out.

You know, Jane,
I am really sorry

about that real
estate agent, okay?

I was just preparing
to move on, you know?

To-to be alone again,

but it was a disaster.

Yeah, well, for
your information,

I tried the same thing.

A date, and it,
too, was a disaster.

Well, that's great!

I mean, I'm sorry.

Or I'm not sorry,
because I think maybe,

I think maybe somebody's
trying to tell us something,

like, we're being
a little too hasty.

Yeah, I've been doing a lot
of thinking since your surgery,

and, um, well,

I think maybe we're
jumping the gun here.

Michael, our court
date is tomorrow.

I know, I know; that's exactly

what I wanted to
talk to you about.

Maybe we should postpone it.

You know, take the
holidays to think about things.

That's all I've been doing
is thinking about things.

Think and over think.

I want to resolve this
before the year is over.

A clean break.

You really mean that?

Yeah.

You want to be alone
during Christmas time?

Doesn't that scare
you a little bit?

The only that
scares me, Michael,

is the thought of spending
the rest of my life with you.

Look at this way,

Santa, you still got the elves.

Hey.

No holiday blues already, huh?

I only had that ring
for three weeks.

It meant so much to me.

We'll get you another one.

You think I'm being
silly, don't you?

No, silly.

Well, you haven't even
commented on the decorations.

Oh.

Oh, yeah.

It's great.

Very nice.

I, uh...

This is very weird for me.

I...

I never got into
this kind of thing.

Ever.

There wasn't a lot of ho, ho, ho

around the driving range
if you know what I mean.

You get your hopes up.

You know, a new bike,

a train set that, uh...

You know, the one with the
gates that would open and close.

You know, you'd
have expectations

and you get disappointed.

Maybe that's why I
always signed up to...

cover the wards
on Christmas Day.

Wasn't I the one that
said no holiday blues?

Sorry.

Why don't you get that,
and I'll put a robe on.

- Okay.
- Okay.

Hey, Mrs. Burns,

I got that Christmas
tree you wanted.

Whoa, whoa, no,
no, no, don't do that.

Well, look at this.

Never had any of this
on the old block, did we?

Of course, we didn't
decorate too well back then.

Listen, you know I
didn't order that tree.

You know my husband
doesn't know anything

about me being in
prison, and he can't know.

Uh, it's the guy who owns
the tree lot where we're buying

the trees for the hospital.

Yeah, excuse me.

I was so grateful
for the business,

I just decided to stop
by and surprise you all

with a little gift.

Oh, that's great.

That's very nice; thank you.

Yeah, it was the
fullest one on the lot.

Hope you all enjoy it.

All right, Eve, I guess
I'll be seeing you around.

Well, you'll probably be seeing
both of us; I'm chief of staff

- at the hospital.
- Oh, really.

Well, what do you know,
two big shots in the family.

Well,

Merry Christmas.

That was nice.

So, what do you think?

How about over there?

It's great.

You okay?

Yeah, everything's fine.

Just looking forward to
a really great Christmas.

If I don't show
up, what happens?

Basically, she gets everything.

You get held in contempt.

Okay, what if I
contest the divorce?

You're already
getting a divorce.

This is about damages.

All right, what if I
concede the damages?

It's a little late

for cold feet, Michael,
and that is what this is,

isn't it, cold feet?

Freezing feet is what it is.

No comment; let us by please.

- Out of the way, please.
- I can't believe it.

- They caught these guy.
- Yeah,

about two hours ago
outside of Valley Bank.

A whole trunk full of
automatic weapons.

Come on.

All right.

Let's go, people.

You're late.

I got to catch a plane to Aspen.

Mancini v. Mancini.

It's a lovely case.

Yeah, full of
the holiday spirit.

All right, complainants rise.

Let's have a look at you.

Now, you look compatible to me.

You're attractive, you're young,

apparently successful.

I'm missing something here.

Oh, um, irreconcilable
differences.

Shut up; sit down,
counselor, and zip it.

I read the statements.

I'm asking them.

You first, blondie.

Uh, uh,

this is our second marriage

to each other, um...

It was a horrible, horrible
mistake, Your Honor.

Halfway through the reception,
he actually accused me

of sleeping with a friend.

Wait, before I get
blamed for this...

Silence, you're both to blame.

And according to these
complaints and cross-complaints,

you're both acting ridiculous.

Damages, ceiling repairs...

I mean, we should be hearing
this on the Fourth of July

or April Fool's Day.

Not Christmas.

Your Honor, may I
suggest a postponement

after the holidays?

Obviously, none of
us are really in a state

to discuss this case today.

One more outburst
out of you, sweet pea,

and I will hold you in contempt.

Your Honor, I did not...

That's $50.

You want to go for 100?

Okay, now,

you two watch Jeopardy?

Yeah? Good show; sit down.

There's a paper on
the table in front of you.

I want you both to write the
correct question to this answer.

The reason you got
married the second time.

You got ten seconds.

Done?

What, are you writing a book?

Come on, bring them up here.

Approach the bench
while we're young.

All right.

Let the record show

they both answered identically.

"What is love?"

You know, you know what
I hate more than anything?

When people use

the justice system as a weapon

to inflict pain

on one another.

I mean, I'm sure you've
both heard the advice,

ad nauseum,

you must sit down and
you must talk things out.

Uh, yes, sir, we have,

ad nauseum.

Well then, what's
in your ears, pal?

Cotton? Pig dung?

Um,

sir, um, I have listened,

and I have approached her.

Oh, please.

He approaches with all the
subtlety of a rhinoceros, sir.

Okay, that's it, that's it.

I hereby hold both of
you in contempt of court.

And I'm sentencing you to
spend the holidays together,

from Christmas
to New Year's Day.

And prior to that,
you will perform

community service,
distributing toys

for this court's
favorite charity.

Ten hours a day every day.

And then it's hard labor,

which for the two of you

means communication.

Talking, talking, talking.

Am I understood?

- Yes, Your Honor.
- Yes, sir.

All right.

Court adjourned,

and Merry Christmas
to one and all.

Decorating for the holidays?

I'm not really in the mood.

You know, drinking in
the middle of the day is...

Did I ask for your opinion?
I don't think that I did.

I'm just looking for a little
holiday cheer, you know?

Which, in California, is
next to impossible to find.

There's no snow.

You got to have snow
at Christmas time.

You still haven't told
Amanda, have you?

I tried.

No, I keep on
trying, Pete, but...

I can't get in a word,

what with all the talk
about the baby and our...

big, bright future together.

And now...

What with the holidays,
what am I supposed to say?

Merry Christmas.

I can't make you a baby.

Crippled sperm.

You understand?

There.

Snow.

I know this must be hard.

No, this is impossible, okay?

I have a friend.

He's a psychiatrist.

No.

I can handle this.

I-I don't need you.

I don't need a psychiatrist.

I don't need anybody.

Okay?

You get it?

Yeah, I get it.

I, uh...

I got a party...
Amanda has a party at,

uh, at the office.

I'm gonna get some coffee in me.

Merry Christmas.

All right, what do
you want? How much?

What, money?

- That's what you think I want?
- I have some cash, not a lot,

- but we could work something out.
- No, I don't want money.

That's not what's
important to me.

You see, I used to watch
you up at that prison,

and I got

all these thoughts
and fantasies.

I mean, you ever
had any fantasies?

Everybody has fantasies.

- About me?
- No.

I mean, 'cause golly, even
in that dumb prison smock

they gave you,
you looked so hot.

You know, I couldn't
stop thinking about you

and what was
underneath that smock.

See that trailer; that's mine.

A lot more comfortable
than it looks.

One roll in the hay.

That's all I'm asking;
that's all I want.

All right, just to see

if you can live up
to my fantasies.

- You're crazy.
- No, I am smart.

Just as smart as that doctor
husband of yours, even.

Look, you want to hide
your prison past from him,

that's fine with me.

Well, I'm gonna
take advantage of it.

Your choice, my gain.

The American way.

You understand?

Just like that little
charity of yours.

So, why don't you do me a favor,

spread a little of that
Christmas cheer my way.

Huh? All right?

Hey, Eve, where are you?

Hey, there you are.

You didn't have
to come out here,

especially in those
nice clothes. We got

a truck coming,
gonna pick up all these

Christmas trees, drop
'em off at the hospital.

Here you go. Here's a
check with the discount.

40%, just like we agreed.

Lexi, you're right. Um...

about the clothes.

I'll just meet you
at the hospital.

Damn, she's looking fine.

You can forget
about it, Tree Boy.

She's way out of your league.

Don't be too sure about that.

Oh, Guy.

Thank you for everything.
It was a great year.

Thank you, Amanda,
but I'd trade it all for a kiss.

Easy, Guy, or I'll turn you
into Human Resources.

Amanda, Ryan on line five.

Oh. Thank you.

Ryan, where the
hell have you been?

I have called your
apartment, I've paged you.

Um, yeah. Yeah... You know
what? I had the ringer off.

Um, I'm really sick.

I have the fever and,
uh... and, uh, chills and...

God, you know, I think I had
some bad sushi or something.

Stop it.

And, uh, I'm... I've...
You know, it's been...

I've been in bed
all day sleeping.

Well, you missed a great party.

I will leave your bonus
check on your desk.

What about the maid?

And the guy says, "I didn't
have a problem with the maid."

Is that funny or what?

And, uh, you get some sleep.

I'll talk to you later.

Okay. Bye.

You are terrible!

You're gonna get me fired.

Oh...

- Oh, no.
- There we go.

- Here we go.
- Okay.

Oh, God.

- Can I borrow this guy for a moment?
- Oh.

I see you've been
drinking again, haven't you?

No, just a drop. You
know, high on the holidays.

Oh, I'll say.

I've got to talk to you guys.

Is there some place
private we can go?

- Yeah.
- Yeah, come here.

What is wrong? You're a wreck.

You know the guy from
Frosty's Christmas Tree Lot?

The guy who sold us all
the trees for the hospital?

He used to be a
guard at the prison.

He remembered me from there.

He threatened to
tell Peter everything

if I didn't sleep with him.

What?

He doesn't want money,
he doesn't want anything.

I'm so scared.

Well, what are we gonna do?

You two aren't
gonna do anything.

I'm gonna handle this.

How?

Leave that to me.

Sorry. Closed.

Yeah, I waited.

Easier for us to talk that way.

Want to talk about what?

I-I don't know you from Adam.

Yeah, well, see, I'm-I'm about
to make a lasting impression.

See, you're gonna
do everybody a favor.

You're gonna stay away from Eve.

Well, why would
I want to do that?

'Cause you don't
really have a choice.

Well, then, let me just
say, up yours, cowboy.

I'll do whatever I want.

- Really?
- Yeah.

You be out of here by morning,

or I'm gonna come
back, I'm gonna kill you.

Kyle?

Oh.

Hey.

Morning.

What time did you get
home? I was worried.

Mm. It was late.

I didn't want to wake you up.

Mm-hmm.

Hey...

I think Eve's pal
got the picture.

Got a little ugly, but...

I bet he's halfway back
to Yosemite by now.

It was cold.

Um... I had to wait
a while till he closed.

How badly did you hurt him?

He'll live... at least long
enough to get out of town.

You said, "Convince
him," I thought.

What did you think
I was gonna do?

What, did you think I
was gonna talk to him?

Look, baby, he's gone, okay?

Just leave it at that.

Hey, merry Christmas.

- Happy New Year.
- Merry Christmas.

Bye.

- Oh.
- Well, that does it here.

- Onto the next spot.
- Uh,

give me a second.

I'll be right back.

Hey, little buddy.

This is for you.

Batteries included. I checked.

Cool. Thanks.

You wouldn't have
anything in that truck

for my mom, would you?

Oh, no. No, that
stuff's just for kids.

Too bad. I wanted to give
her something to cheer her up.

She lost another job.

- Here.
- I can't take...

Come on, come
on, come on, shush.

Here, take this.

You buy her something
special, you understand me?

Ah. Come on.

Get lost.

You are always surprising me.

Yeah, I even surprise
myself sometimes.

- Can I ask you a favor.
- Sure.

Would you consider
forgiving me for, um,

the wedding fiasco and the

paranoid accusations...

I mean, the... the whole
hell I put you through?

I'm... I'm really sorry,

and I was wondering
if you could forgive me.

So, you're apologizing?

Yes, I think I am.

Then, yeah, I think
I can forgive you.

Then, yes, I'd like a hug.

Hey, what-what's going on here?

I came over to buy some wreaths.

Well, there's plenty of
garland left over there.

Why don't you help yourself?

Buddy, what happened to you?

Well, let's just say,
Santa's sled fell on my head.

But I don't understand.

Aren't you guys supposed to
stay open through Christmas?

Aren't you gonna
lose a lot of money?

There's only one thing
matters more to me than money.

Well, actually, two things.

That would be sex and my life.

Any more questions, you go talk

to your little friend
Eve about it, all right?

Eve? Eve. But I
don't understand.

Wait. What's she
got to do with this?

Come on. Buddy,
help me out here.

She's not exactly
my best friend, either.

People keep secrets like
that ain't got no friends.

Secrets. You know
her, huh? From her past?

She's not from a
wealthy family, is she?

Lady, you haven't even
scratched the surface.

Look, man, I am telling you

that I lost control.

Okay, I'm not going into detail
about how or why. I just did.

And I realized, it-it
wasn't about him.

It wasn't about this guy.

It was about Amanda,
the stuff that is happening.

Pete, I am ready
to kill somebody.

You know what
the solution is here.

What, you say, tell Amanda?

I can't tell Amanda.
I can't do it.

Not now. Not
during the holidays.

I mean...

It's Christmas Eve, and I
am sitting here talking to you,

and I don't even know why.

It's about the drinking.

You got to stop!

Stop the drinking.

I'm gonna write you
out a prescription.

It's for mild antidepressants.

It'll get you through the
next couple weeks, or

until you can tell her.

Now, I want your guarantee
that you will tell her.

After the new year.

I got to go.

Amanda's got a charity gig.

Um, I'm gonna help out, so...

I will turn the
stage back over to

the band. Merry
Christmas, everybody.

Thank you for doing this for us.

- Don't be late.
- Mmm.

♪ One, two, three, four ♪

Yes!

♪ Oh, oh, merry
Christmas, yeah ♪

♪ Well, way up north
where the air gets cold ♪

♪ There's a tale about
Christmas that we've all been told ♪

♪ And a real famous
cat, all dressed up in red ♪

♪ And he spends his whole
year working out on his sled ♪

♪ He's a Little Saint Nick ♪

♪ Ooh, Little Saint Nick ♪

♪ Oh, he's a Little Saint Nick ♪

♪ Ooh, Little Saint Nick ♪

♪ Oh, yeah... ♪

Boy, if those boys
were a few years older,

I swear I'd take 'em
all back to my condo.

Speaking of which, Eve,

how come they're not
home for the holidays?

I mean, if it was all such a
warm and fuzzy memory?

Peter's all the family I
need now. Excuse me.

Mm-hmm. Travis sure
left in a hurry, didn't he?

Who beat him up, Eve?

You, with a baseball bat?

Peter? Huh?

And why? What did he do to you?

Nothing.

I don't know what
you're talking about.

That's funny, because

Travis said you would.

Yeah, he says you
two go way back.

Kyle's knuckles are all bruised.

Well...

now that we know who
did it, let's talk about why.

Let's take this in the
back room, shall we?

Honey, I'll take this
anywhere you want.

Get your low-life hands off
me, or I will rip your dimples off.

Well...

thank you, ma'am,
may I have another?

You little bitch.

Stupid slut!

Now, Lexi, what the
hell is wrong with you?

Why don't you ask Nikita here!

Lexi, get the hell out of here.

All right, I'm out of here!

You know, honey, the
thing about hitting a nerve,

it may sting a
little bit doing bit,

but knowing I hit
just the right nerve,

it makes it all worth it.

Keep an eye on
those knuckles, honey,

we wouldn't want
to get an infection.

Okay, Peter, hit it.

Mm.

Hey.

Well, you really have a
way with that staple gun.

Yeah. Well, thanks
for helping out.

What are we gonna do about
these spouses of ours, huh?

Working all night,
these late hours.

Oh, yeah, what were we thinking

marrying a couple of night owls.

Seriously, though, I am
concerned about Kyle's health.

Speaking of which,
how was that physical?

Good. Good, he's in great shape.

He's drinking,
flying off the handle.

I know he doesn't think I
suspect anything, but I do.

He's different.

And I was wondering
if you knew why.

Well, this time of year, Amanda,

you know, people
react in different ways.

Maybe it's stress. Maybe...

maybe you two ought to
spend a little more time together.

- What, a vacation?
- I don't know,

maybe you should
get reacquainted, talk.

- Peter.
- I really hate being put in the middle...

Well, who's putting
you in the middle?

I know I'm not; that
just leaves Kyle.

- I don't...
- I know you too well.

You're not saying someth...

What...?

It's a mistletoe. You put it up.

Merry Christmas.

Oh, forget staying in bed;

let's live in bed.

To the merriest of Christmases.

Hey. Hey, what's wrong?

I was late this month.

I thought I was pregnant.

But I'm not. I...
just took the test.

It's negative.

I wanted so much to
give you the ultimate gift,

a new baby.

Oh... hey.

Stop that, okay?

It's the one thing I
want to give you, too.

Mm. If you only knew how much.

- Oh, hi.
- I got a special delivery

for a Jane Mancini.

Yeah. wow.

There you go. Sign there.

It's huge; what is it?

I wouldn't know.

Oh, uh... the card
that came with it.

Okay. Thanks.

- Merry Christmas.
- Yes, you, too.

Wow.

"Dear Jane, a Christmas
without you isn't a Christmas.

Love, Michael."

Merry Christmas!

You are such a lunatic... you
nearly gave me a heart attack.

Well, luckily,
someone sent a doctor.

- I can't believe you did this.
- Yeah. Well,

it's not the gesture, it's
the thought behind it, right?

- Yeah.
- Listen, Jane...

I'll tell you what,

let's do something that
nobody would ever believe.

- What, like get along?
- Yeah. Sure.

Do you really think we can?

Christmas is about hope, right?

For the future?

Well, let's let this Christmas
be about hope for our future.

You know what, Michael,
you're like... chocolate.

Horrible for me,
but irresistible.

Then what are you waiting for?

You better start
licking before I melt.

♪ ...A one-horse open ♪

♪ Sleigh. ♪

Gee, it's awfully nice of
you to do this for us, Doctor.

Oh, it's the least I could do.

I'm sorry you all had to
work on Christmas Day.

Well...

we appreciate it.

Excuse me, I need some
emergency care here.

You see this black
eye? All they gave me

in the trauma ward
was an ice pack.

Peter, would you
stop manhandling me!

I don't want you
ruining Christmas Day.

Aren't you curious
how I got this black eye?

I already know... You
had a fight with Eve.

Don't you want to
know what it's about?

It doesn't matter;
you had it coming.

His name is Travis, okay?

He works at the
Christmas tree lot.

He seemed to know
Eve pretty damn well,

I'm assuming from her past,

the past she's willing
to defend with her life!

I'd tell you where he is,
only he left town in a big hurry

after someone beat
the crap out of him.

I don't want to hear about this.

- I'm just saying, she's not...
- Get out!

Just ask her, Peter!

What's she hiding?
With Kyle, with the man,

with all of this.

You ask her.

Mm.

This is so decadent.

We haven't been out of
this apartment in three days.

- Mm.
- Here.

And this tastes great, and
I normally hate fruitcake.

Me, too. Okay, next time
I'm gonna grocery shop

- before the orgy, okay?
- Mm.

This is the best...

Christmas dinner...

that I've ever had.

All right, so I want
to know something.

What is going on
here in this apartment?

Is this just about... sex?

Or, um...

are we, like, having
a relationship?

Well, um... that's
a good question.

I've been too chicken
to ask it myself.

'Cause, I mean,
to me, it feels...

it feels relationship.

I'm so glad you said that.

It feels perfect to
me; it feels right.

I've never in my
life had that before.

I thought I had...

- Mm.
- But now that I have this

to compare it to, I don't know.

You know, I never
even came close.

- Who's that?
- Um, I don't know.

I'll get it.

- Where are my pants?
- I don't know. Here.

I'll get it.

Ho, ho, ho, Megan!

Here I am, and merry Christmas!

I knew you'd be
alone for the holidays,

so I brought you
a little surprise.

- What, a strange man?
- Yeah.

No. Actually, um,
Christmas dinner.

Turkey, stuffing,
all the trimmings.

And I brought the
trimmer. This is Pierre.

He's a renowned
chef and caterer.

Speaks no English,

but he cooks like a
dream. Right, Pierre?

Uh, oh, oui, oui, oui.

Mmm!

Yeah, Pierre,
honey, shh, shut up.

He's adorable, isn't he?

Oh, you... you do have company.

- What's all this?
- This is a huge, huge mistake.

Apparently, I just thought that
Megan was gonna be alone.

- She's not.
- Yeah, I see that.

Well, you two
obviously want to have

your Christmas dinner
together, just the two of you.

Pierre, give them the turkey.

The food. Give it to 'em.

You know what, forget
it. Just give me the...

Give it to me.

Here you go.

Okay, merry Christmas.

Good night.

Yeah, come on, Pierre.

Ciao!

Well...

at least now we have food.

Oh, my God, what is that?

- What, the dove?
- No, the ring on your finger!

Look at the size of that rock!

Peter surprised me.

Yeah!

- Oh. Oh.
- Oh, stop it.

- Hey. Sorry I'm late.
- No, you're just in time.

Cooking some dinner; I
saved you some eggnog.

Oh, I am so glad
you're here. Mmm!

How was everything
at the hospital?

Lousy. It's good to
be around friends.

Oh, well, why don't you
get yourself a cup of eggnog.

I think this is
looking so beautiful!

Easy, easy.

Hey, it's the holidays.

Yeah.

You know, I just ran into Lexi.

She said something about, um...

you beating up some
Christmas tree salesman,

and that you and Amanda and Eve

are in some kind of
conspiracy together.

Do you believe that?

I don't know. Should I?

Yeah. I beat the guy up.

That was 'cause he
was coming on to Eve,

and she didn't
know how to tell you.

I didn't for a friend.

Two friends. You and Eve both.

Hey, you guys,
come on over here.

I want to make a toast.

Yeah, forget I even
brought it up. Sorry.

No, no big deal. Here.

Let's, uh, let's just not
ruin the night, okay?

There.

- Here you go, babe.
- Okay.

- Thank you.
- All right, here is

to the incredible year
we have already had

and the incredible
year yet to come

and the two men in our lives
and how proud I am of them.

Cheers.

Uh, somebody should
take a picture of this.

Who's gonna take it?

- I'll take it.
- Oh, great. Okay,

my camera is right there
in my purse on the chair.

- All right.
- Okay, you go over there.

- Okay.
- I'll get in the middle.

Come on! Take the picture...

We can't keep up these
phony smiles forever.

Well, you're all
pretty good at it.

You sure fooled me.