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1
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When you are crazy about someone,
it's hard to say goodbye.
2
00:00:04,913 --> 00:00:08,413
- I'm going to miss you so much.
- Promise me, you will be safe, OK!
3
00:00:08,461 --> 00:00:12,007
Good God! She is going to a hoil for the
weekend, not out in an organ trade.
4
00:00:12,039 --> 00:00:13,805
Dad, we are trying to have a moment.
5
00:00:16,053 --> 00:00:17,451
Oh, I got a phone card.
6
00:00:17,664 --> 00:00:20,579
- It has a thousand minutes, do you think that is enough?
- Yes.
7
00:00:22,366 --> 00:00:25,186
When we talk... Let's look at the moon!
8
00:00:25,623 --> 00:00:27,615
So we would know that we are staring at the same thing!
9
00:00:27,717 --> 00:00:29,116
That one was a winner.
10
00:00:29,147 --> 00:00:31,576
OK, go home, Frankie's girlfriend!
11
00:00:32,967 --> 00:00:34,717
Dad, you just locked Heather outside!
12
00:00:34,795 --> 00:00:37,139
She is not a dog. She can
find the way out of the yard.
13
00:00:37,483 --> 00:00:41,319
Sprinkle is coming on.
In 5... 4... 3... 2...
14
00:00:57,340 --> 00:00:59,141
SURVIVING JACK
15
00:00:59,356 --> 00:01:01,106
- Subtitle edit by Rexy Momo Kobayashi
16
00:01:01,239 --> 00:01:03,098
So... I had a hot girl friend,
17
00:01:03,261 --> 00:01:05,736
My gun was looking fully loaded.
18
00:01:05,896 --> 00:01:07,419
What's that! What's up bloom!
19
00:01:07,661 --> 00:01:11,435
Yep, Freshman's year was going pretty...
What the hell is that?!
20
00:01:15,997 --> 00:01:18,981
OK, we can fix this.
Uh, moisturiser.
21
00:01:22,146 --> 00:01:26,005
- Are you using my make-up?
- What? No. That would be weird.
22
00:01:26,818 --> 00:01:30,490
- Please don't tell anybody!
- Dad, Frankie is using my make-up!
23
00:01:31,912 --> 00:01:33,474
I don't think that's your colour, chief.
24
00:01:38,708 --> 00:01:40,646
- Ew!
- What?
25
00:01:41,388 --> 00:01:42,598
You know we do it.
26
00:01:42,777 --> 00:01:45,169
Now that mom is in law
school and dad is in charge,
27
00:01:45,207 --> 00:01:46,723
when Rachel want something...
28
00:01:46,980 --> 00:01:48,871
she waited until the moment mom left.
29
00:01:48,909 --> 00:01:50,839
Is it cool if I have some friends
to sleep over tonight?
30
00:01:51,004 --> 00:01:53,502
- Do I need to pick anyone up and talk to anyone?
- No.
31
00:01:53,566 --> 00:01:56,385
Can I sit in my room and watch MacGyver
eating a sandwich in silence?
32
00:01:56,432 --> 00:01:59,189
- Sad, but yes.
- Then I got nothing to ask, go nuts.
33
00:02:00,223 --> 00:02:01,304
Thanks!
34
00:02:03,816 --> 00:02:06,183
Jack, did you tell Rachel she can have a sleep-over?
35
00:02:06,215 --> 00:02:09,277
- Yes, what?
- I will be in law library doing a
paper. I can't help you tonight.
36
00:02:09,315 --> 00:02:11,322
No, it's fine. I can handle this like
Frankie's sleep-over last week.
37
00:02:11,369 --> 00:02:14,860
Ok, Jack, a teenage girl's sleep-
over is a giant crap storm.
38
00:02:14,909 --> 00:02:18,385
It is not the same.
Teenage boys... so stupid.
39
00:02:19,378 --> 00:02:20,792
You can look at George!
40
00:02:21,011 --> 00:02:22,554
His back bag has got into the fence.
41
00:02:23,003 --> 00:02:25,033
Let's watch what his brain has decided to do!
42
00:02:31,198 --> 00:02:32,628
He is one of the smart ones.
43
00:02:37,324 --> 00:02:40,105
- I can't believe that you made out with Heather Blumeyer.
- Swing!
44
00:02:41,183 --> 00:02:43,605
I got a killer opener when she get back.
45
00:02:43,816 --> 00:02:45,636
"Sup, girl? You look good."
46
00:02:45,878 --> 00:02:47,714
And then I hit her with a sexy look.
47
00:02:49,284 --> 00:02:50,799
It's not a good moment for you.
48
00:02:51,507 --> 00:02:54,812
Be aggressive, bro! Take your
shirt off like it's nothing!
49
00:02:54,857 --> 00:02:56,866
It is not matter what you said
to her. It is just basic biology.
50
00:02:56,913 --> 00:02:59,303
Her brain is assessing whether
you are a good mate by your size,
51
00:02:59,352 --> 00:03:01,014
- and odor.
- Hey, Rach!
52
00:03:01,046 --> 00:03:03,514
I am wearing after-shave and I can
fit my whole fist in my mouth.
53
00:03:07,365 --> 00:03:11,014
Since I started dating Heather, I no
longer feel like just a lonely freshman.
54
00:03:11,857 --> 00:03:13,115
I was cool.
55
00:03:13,491 --> 00:03:14,741
Ladies...
56
00:03:18,647 --> 00:03:19,913
What's up?
57
00:03:22,803 --> 00:03:24,600
Whoo, the little wave, I see you!
58
00:03:24,624 --> 00:03:26,671
Are you nodding your head, or having a seizure?
59
00:03:26,819 --> 00:03:28,272
I am throwing out 'What's up',
60
00:03:28,319 --> 00:03:31,460
cause I'm kicking freshman year in the ass right now!
61
00:03:32,022 --> 00:03:33,312
What's up?
62
00:03:35,202 --> 00:03:37,804
Urg, Peter Stagman, aka Stags.
63
00:03:38,373 --> 00:03:39,944
Frankie Dunlevy!
64
00:03:40,038 --> 00:03:42,562
Las Plamas Highschool, resident douchebag.
65
00:03:44,233 --> 00:03:47,390
- They are happy coming over here.
- He want you to show fear.
66
00:03:47,595 --> 00:03:50,059
Show him dominant, take your
shirt off like it's nothing!
67
00:03:50,129 --> 00:03:52,270
Dude, no. I got like these weird moles.
68
00:03:52,333 --> 00:03:54,599
So... how is everything going with Heather?
69
00:03:54,637 --> 00:03:57,629
Oh. We are good, we do not have anything
in common except for Franky, but...
70
00:03:57,668 --> 00:04:02,074
Dude, he was talking to me,
and yeah, it is going really great.
71
00:04:02,544 --> 00:04:04,911
Ohh, because I just heard a very funny story that,
72
00:04:05,044 --> 00:04:07,575
the first time you guys kissed, you farted.
73
00:04:09,810 --> 00:04:11,497
He wants you to react. Don't do it!
74
00:04:11,536 --> 00:04:13,333
That was a lie! You are a liar!
75
00:04:14,458 --> 00:04:16,130
Don't get over excited, buddy!
76
00:04:16,708 --> 00:04:20,036
What do you think that we should call this
guy. How about, "Frankie Fart-and-kiss".
77
00:04:21,262 --> 00:04:22,270
"Fart-and-kiss"?
78
00:04:22,310 --> 00:04:24,775
You have been a bully for 4 years, be better.
79
00:04:24,880 --> 00:04:27,216
Well, that.., that was just off the top of my head, OK?
80
00:04:27,411 --> 00:04:29,707
There are something there though. Let's go!
81
00:04:32,435 --> 00:04:33,833
George!
82
00:04:38,544 --> 00:04:41,278
20 years I gave that woman...
83
00:04:41,589 --> 00:04:43,636
and she run off with a lifeguard.
84
00:04:43,729 --> 00:04:46,687
It is her loss. Come on! Lon!
85
00:04:47,237 --> 00:04:48,649
I mean he is so young.
86
00:04:48,735 --> 00:04:51,157
What does she going to do all day, except...
87
00:04:51,462 --> 00:04:53,376
watch him work out or save lives...
88
00:04:53,813 --> 00:04:55,376
or jump into a pool and...
89
00:04:55,767 --> 00:04:59,001
be strong and...you know what,
that was not my best pep talk.
90
00:04:59,024 --> 00:05:01,329
Some diagnosis came back negative,
continue treatment.
91
00:05:01,407 --> 00:05:03,595
Jack! Busy curing cancer?
92
00:05:06,204 --> 00:05:07,392
I should go.
93
00:05:10,813 --> 00:05:12,584
How is it you have coffee with him everyday,
94
00:05:12,610 --> 00:05:15,127
and after 30 seconds, I want
to put my face in the fence?
95
00:05:15,319 --> 00:05:18,771
Because he is our neighbour, and
he is going through a tough time.
96
00:05:18,803 --> 00:05:21,654
If you want to run the house,
that's part of the job.
97
00:05:21,904 --> 00:05:25,452
Besides, he is the only one in the block
that you haven't told to go screw off.
98
00:05:27,560 --> 00:05:29,386
Remind to tell Lon to go screw off!
99
00:05:35,662 --> 00:05:36,889
Hey, ladies!
100
00:05:43,575 --> 00:05:46,695
No female should make a noise
like that unless she is giving birth.
101
00:05:46,739 --> 00:05:49,137
- Then I'm just still young.
- Thank goodness, I am a doctor.
102
00:05:49,162 --> 00:05:50,350
Have fun at the law library!
103
00:05:50,405 --> 00:05:52,929
You know what, I will do my
peps work here. Hey girls, listen!
104
00:05:52,991 --> 00:05:56,030
There are snacks in the cupboard
and "Pretty Woman" in the VCR.
105
00:05:56,092 --> 00:05:58,374
Outside notes: Prostitution is not glamorous.
106
00:05:58,398 --> 00:06:01,038
It is one way ticket to diseases, addiction, oh, and...
107
00:06:01,081 --> 00:06:03,194
You are leaving. Good luck with that paper!
108
00:06:03,227 --> 00:06:05,569
- Come on, I got this.
- I know. But.
109
00:06:05,827 --> 00:06:08,741
...so Sarah was all like: "Niel,
if you talk to that skank, you are not...
110
00:06:08,763 --> 00:06:10,919
grinding on any of this.".
111
00:06:11,116 --> 00:06:13,163
- Then what did you do, Sarah?
- I broke up with him.
112
00:06:13,209 --> 00:06:15,983
- No, you didn't. - Yes, I did.
- No, you didn't.
113
00:06:16,069 --> 00:06:19,435
Kinda sound like she did. OK,
ladies, here is the ground rule.
114
00:06:19,467 --> 00:06:21,826
No screaming, no touching of my boozes,
115
00:06:21,855 --> 00:06:23,408
no horse play anywhere near my photo
116
00:06:23,434 --> 00:06:25,248
of me and Norman Swartz of course.
117
00:06:25,280 --> 00:06:27,631
and absolutely, no calling up boyfriends.
118
00:06:27,693 --> 00:06:29,810
Which I don't think going to be a problem for you.
119
00:06:31,569 --> 00:06:32,912
Dad!
120
00:06:36,131 --> 00:06:37,701
That's better not be my room.
121
00:06:38,811 --> 00:06:41,240
Rachel's friend, open the door!
122
00:06:41,936 --> 00:06:42,941
Damn it!
123
00:06:43,209 --> 00:06:46,388
I better go pick up Frankie. Do you think your
friend would throw herself out of my window?
124
00:06:46,395 --> 00:06:48,473
- She's just gonna cry.
- I can live with that.
125
00:06:48,498 --> 00:06:51,178
Don't tell your mother, page
me if you hear glass break!
126
00:06:53,967 --> 00:06:55,037
Today sucked hard.
127
00:06:55,391 --> 00:06:56,843
So what if it blown over, man.
128
00:06:56,961 --> 00:06:59,201
May be in fact he would fall
down in the assembly.
129
00:06:59,249 --> 00:07:02,809
No way dude, that kid is super careful
about how he walk at the assembly.
130
00:07:03,319 --> 00:07:06,303
- What's your problem?
- This guy talked all kind of smacks to Frankie.
131
00:07:06,334 --> 00:07:09,311
- Call him "Frankie Fart-and-kiss".
- "Fart-and-kiss"?!
132
00:07:09,529 --> 00:07:11,863
- That is a terrible nickname. That will never stick.
- Thank God!
133
00:07:11,905 --> 00:07:13,381
I would go with "Fartacus".
134
00:07:14,824 --> 00:07:17,887
Oh, no! Please tell me this stoner did not hear that!
135
00:07:18,333 --> 00:07:20,036
Fartacus!
136
00:07:44,942 --> 00:07:48,004
May be my dad was right, there is no
way that nickname is gonna stick.
137
00:07:48,137 --> 00:07:49,707
Hey, Fartacus!
138
00:07:53,059 --> 00:07:54,951
What? It's a good nickname.
139
00:08:01,958 --> 00:08:05,192
Fine, I'm sorry, I gave you the
genius nickname everyone loved.
140
00:08:05,245 --> 00:08:06,752
Solid apology.
141
00:08:07,066 --> 00:08:10,075
Uhm, may be even later you
can take a permanent marker,
142
00:08:10,145 --> 00:08:12,075
and draw a penis on my face.
143
00:08:12,324 --> 00:08:15,496
I don't know how that would help. You will
need to deal with the situation in another way.
144
00:08:15,575 --> 00:08:17,723
Take your shirt off, and punch Stags in the face!
145
00:08:17,778 --> 00:08:20,325
- Michael, there's no winner in a fight.
- I feel like there are.
146
00:08:20,387 --> 00:08:22,566
Look, if you don't want to be
known as, a fart kisser...
147
00:08:22,597 --> 00:08:24,854
- I didn't do that.
- We will never know that for sure.
148
00:08:24,934 --> 00:08:28,200
Bottom line is, if you don't
want to be known for something,
149
00:08:28,731 --> 00:08:30,247
you should do something...
150
00:08:30,981 --> 00:08:33,075
better. Change the narrative!
151
00:08:33,871 --> 00:08:36,535
Hello? Yeah, he's right here.
152
00:08:36,598 --> 00:08:38,387
No, no, wait a minute.
153
00:08:38,473 --> 00:08:41,622
There is no Fartacus at this
number. Don't call again!
154
00:08:45,278 --> 00:08:48,059
- You friend is still in there?
- Sarah is pretty upset.
155
00:08:48,114 --> 00:08:50,051
She thought she and Niel have something special.
156
00:08:50,333 --> 00:08:51,661
I'll fix this.
157
00:08:52,551 --> 00:08:54,840
Sarah, this is Dr. Dunlevy.
158
00:08:54,997 --> 00:08:57,020
What you and Niel had was not special.
159
00:08:59,395 --> 00:09:00,715
Nice work.
160
00:09:01,606 --> 00:09:03,489
Sarah, I know what you are going through.
161
00:09:03,668 --> 00:09:07,270
Doug is mad at me because he
thinks I hook up with Brian Hurley.
162
00:09:07,403 --> 00:09:09,036
We are just lab partners.
163
00:09:09,464 --> 00:09:12,253
Girls who look like us will
always have these problems.
164
00:09:12,340 --> 00:09:13,752
She doesn't look like you.
165
00:09:14,242 --> 00:09:15,531
I know.
166
00:09:16,458 --> 00:09:18,083
Sarah, just let me in!
167
00:09:20,684 --> 00:09:23,583
Rachel, open my door! MacGuyver starts in five.
168
00:09:26,278 --> 00:09:27,879
Hate that I can't get this opened.
169
00:09:28,442 --> 00:09:31,965
If I was going to change the narrative,
I need to come up with an epic idea.
170
00:09:32,020 --> 00:09:33,442
Something genius.
171
00:09:33,496 --> 00:09:35,055
What if I strip at the football game?
172
00:09:35,078 --> 00:09:37,423
- Then everyone will see your penis.
- Oh, right.
173
00:09:37,543 --> 00:09:41,043
Forget it: just take your shirt off,
and punch Stags in his dumb face!
174
00:09:41,168 --> 00:09:44,168
Wait, I got it! Everyone see that
sign in front of the school, right?
175
00:09:44,301 --> 00:09:46,497
So what if we change the
letters to say something funny?
176
00:09:46,558 --> 00:09:49,152
- Then we will be legends.
- I'm in.
177
00:09:49,293 --> 00:09:51,074
My friends always have my back.
178
00:09:51,215 --> 00:09:52,761
With one exception.
179
00:09:52,825 --> 00:09:55,582
Where are the towers? Rachel
said we might go swimming later.
180
00:09:58,895 --> 00:10:00,145
I'm staying.
181
00:10:06,418 --> 00:10:09,637
Rachel, did you order pizza? Because it's
here, and I'm not paying for it.
182
00:10:16,011 --> 00:10:18,043
Mon was worried, so she hasn't left yet.
183
00:10:18,450 --> 00:10:19,653
Honey...
184
00:10:20,028 --> 00:10:21,965
put the drill down!
185
00:10:22,043 --> 00:10:24,145
I know how to get this girl out of our room.
186
00:10:24,848 --> 00:10:26,356
I'm kinda a bad-ass at this.
187
00:10:26,614 --> 00:10:29,676
If there was a branch in the military
that specialised in mothering,
188
00:10:29,900 --> 00:10:33,948
- I will be an official.
- There is a branch in the military specialised in mothers.
189
00:10:34,018 --> 00:10:35,495
It's called: The Coast guard.
190
00:10:35,566 --> 00:10:39,299
Look, you got a depressed teenage girl on your hand.
191
00:10:39,472 --> 00:10:40,940
At any point, she could
192
00:10:41,037 --> 00:10:43,870
throw up from crying, or giving
herself a tragic haircut,
193
00:10:43,949 --> 00:10:45,988
- or just run off into the night.
- Joan...
194
00:10:46,533 --> 00:10:48,165
it is not that hard to deal with kids.
195
00:10:48,183 --> 00:10:50,628
Anyone can do it with a functioning brain and two eyes.
196
00:10:50,691 --> 00:10:54,385
It is an interesting way describing everything
I have been doing over the past 17 years.
197
00:10:55,550 --> 00:10:56,667
Well...
198
00:10:57,167 --> 00:10:58,628
it finally happened.
199
00:10:58,745 --> 00:11:00,700
My wife is engaged to that tanned idiot.
200
00:11:01,581 --> 00:11:03,890
Uh, dad picked the wrong time to piss mom off.
201
00:11:04,878 --> 00:11:06,831
Ohh, Lon, I'm so sorry!
202
00:11:07,237 --> 00:11:10,714
I have a paper to write, but do you
know who's great with this stuff?
203
00:11:12,011 --> 00:11:13,035
Jack.
204
00:11:21,854 --> 00:11:23,518
How can we spell those letters?
205
00:11:24,143 --> 00:11:26,065
I don't know, I am not a big fan of spelling.
206
00:11:27,113 --> 00:11:28,636
I got something amazing!
207
00:11:30,327 --> 00:11:32,593
- Boom!
208
00:11:32,702 --> 00:11:35,326
- "Cool sex hotel"?
- Yeah.
209
00:11:35,491 --> 00:11:37,862
- I don't get it.
- What is not to get?
210
00:11:37,900 --> 00:11:40,743
A hotel, and it's sex, and it's cool.
211
00:11:41,252 --> 00:11:44,072
I don't know, dude, just take a picture
of me with it, then get out of here.
212
00:11:47,657 --> 00:11:50,219
- Run!
- I can't run, you idiot.
213
00:11:50,291 --> 00:11:51,293
Stop right there!
214
00:11:52,009 --> 00:11:53,782
Have you ever had your heart broken, Jack?
215
00:11:55,109 --> 00:11:57,343
No, because that's not a real thing.
216
00:11:57,908 --> 00:12:01,845
- Lon, please go home!
- It's too painful over there right now.
217
00:12:12,378 --> 00:12:14,065
- What the hell are you doing?
- Jack?
218
00:12:15,674 --> 00:12:18,136
Hey, George. Nice abs!
219
00:12:18,634 --> 00:12:20,893
Jack, this pizza box is squeaky clean.
220
00:12:20,948 --> 00:12:23,870
Now, what would a teenage delivery
boy come to this house...
221
00:12:24,198 --> 00:12:25,636
without a pizza?
222
00:12:28,463 --> 00:12:30,361
You, drop the pen and come with me!
223
00:12:34,095 --> 00:12:35,508
Are there any boys in there?
224
00:12:37,050 --> 00:12:38,386
Move it to the right!
225
00:12:38,471 --> 00:12:41,080
I can only see the TV.
They are watching MacGuyver.
226
00:12:41,268 --> 00:12:42,682
Damn it!
227
00:12:49,042 --> 00:12:51,378
George would do anything for my sister.
228
00:12:51,729 --> 00:12:53,456
Just the girls here, sir.
229
00:12:53,893 --> 00:12:55,604
But he wasn't a big fan of her boyfriend.
230
00:12:55,776 --> 00:12:58,901
- Doug Manganaro, aka...
- Mango!
231
00:12:58,940 --> 00:13:01,721
- You are a dead man, Manganero!
- Run!
232
00:13:07,971 --> 00:13:09,495
Please don't drop me!
233
00:13:09,682 --> 00:13:12,432
I want to ask you this one
time: where are the other boys?
234
00:13:12,486 --> 00:13:14,220
- What boys?
- Wrong answer.
235
00:13:14,807 --> 00:13:17,526
Ok, Ok! They are hiding in Rachel's closet.
236
00:13:17,752 --> 00:13:18,752
Please let me up!
237
00:13:18,832 --> 00:13:20,610
No one likes a rat, Mango.
238
00:13:26,198 --> 00:13:27,909
- How is it going, champs?
- Don't need any help.
239
00:13:27,962 --> 00:13:29,595
- Oh, really?
- I cut my hair.
240
00:13:29,636 --> 00:13:31,932
Does it look bad? I think it might look bad.
241
00:13:32,143 --> 00:13:33,870
Oh! Ha ha ha!
242
00:13:37,417 --> 00:13:39,089
Go home, Lon!
243
00:13:42,182 --> 00:13:45,158
Hello, mam'. We found you son
defacing school property.
244
00:13:45,290 --> 00:13:48,758
Also you have a small Latino boy hanging
from the second story window.
245
00:13:50,182 --> 00:13:52,346
Jack! It's for you.
246
00:14:01,917 --> 00:14:03,085
What's up, boys?
247
00:14:03,362 --> 00:14:05,261
How are you not freaking out right now?
248
00:14:05,589 --> 00:14:07,815
Because I'm not Fartacus any more.
249
00:14:08,143 --> 00:14:09,768
I'm going to be bad-ass,
250
00:14:09,792 --> 00:14:12,190
who got thrown into a cop's car
once anyone hear about this.
251
00:14:12,237 --> 00:14:15,197
- Ok, no one can ever find out about this.
- What?!
252
00:14:15,503 --> 00:14:18,776
Cops said that they would forget about the whole
thing, if you put the sign back the way it was.
253
00:14:19,096 --> 00:14:22,551
- Fine, let's go!
- Right, like you are going to get off that easy.
254
00:14:25,112 --> 00:14:27,253
Now, I don't believe that
adults should hit children.
255
00:14:28,010 --> 00:14:30,275
But I got no problem with
children hitting children,
256
00:14:30,307 --> 00:14:32,971
so in the count of three, I want you
guys to start wailing on each other.
257
00:14:33,198 --> 00:14:35,355
- Wh-what? We are going to start hitting each other.
- One, two, three.
258
00:14:37,931 --> 00:14:39,267
- Ow, ow, ow!
- You son of a...
259
00:14:39,995 --> 00:14:41,471
Not hitting George enough.
260
00:14:43,854 --> 00:14:45,932
Ok, he's good. Let's go to the car.
261
00:14:52,065 --> 00:14:53,964
This sucked big times.
262
00:14:54,112 --> 00:14:56,089
I know. Why do I have to do it?
263
00:14:56,120 --> 00:14:57,900
No, I mean you could have spelled,
264
00:14:57,963 --> 00:14:59,823
"This sucked big times".
265
00:15:00,265 --> 00:15:01,765
Damn, he's good!
266
00:15:02,046 --> 00:15:04,843
What exactly were you trying to accomplish here?
267
00:15:04,984 --> 00:15:07,295
I were doing what you said.
Changing the narrative.
268
00:15:07,398 --> 00:15:10,882
When I told you to be known for something better,
I mean something you will be proud of.
269
00:15:10,937 --> 00:15:12,898
And God know, you can't be proud of this.
270
00:15:13,055 --> 00:15:14,391
There is no God.
271
00:15:15,562 --> 00:15:17,398
You are really one dark little dude.
272
00:15:17,562 --> 00:15:19,171
No, you could have spelled that.
273
00:15:20,445 --> 00:15:23,203
Oh yeah. Hey, nice.
274
00:15:27,820 --> 00:15:31,266
- Ok, young lady, I...
- I took care of everything.
275
00:15:31,383 --> 00:15:33,867
Rachel is losing any sleep-over
privileges for the next month,
276
00:15:33,992 --> 00:15:35,398
crying girl's mom picked her up,
277
00:15:35,498 --> 00:15:37,162
we gonna have to see a new haircut for her tomorrow.
278
00:15:37,312 --> 00:15:38,976
I sent Lon home with "Pretty woman",
279
00:15:39,234 --> 00:15:41,125
and had Alison to wear a bigger bra,
280
00:15:41,156 --> 00:15:42,692
she look like an extra on Baywatch.
281
00:15:42,741 --> 00:15:44,929
Now, honey. What do you want to say to your dad?
282
00:15:45,781 --> 00:15:47,052
I'm sorry that I'm really attractive
283
00:15:47,099 --> 00:15:49,584
and boys would always want to be around
me. That won't happen again.
284
00:15:49,677 --> 00:15:52,737
- Really, that was the best that..?
- That is not exactly how I would have worded it,
285
00:15:52,850 --> 00:15:54,553
- but OK.
- Can I talk to you for a minute?
286
00:15:58,773 --> 00:15:59,835
What are you doing?
287
00:16:00,974 --> 00:16:02,787
Uhm, making all tonight's problem my bitch?
288
00:16:02,834 --> 00:16:06,875
Why don't you go to the law library and
study? I didn't ask you to help me.
289
00:16:06,914 --> 00:16:10,632
Is there some weird things you think will
happen when you ask me for help?
290
00:16:10,687 --> 00:16:12,781
Like your penis, jump off your body,
291
00:16:12,820 --> 00:16:16,177
then run into the wood, or run into some
places, that no one want to read...
292
00:16:16,227 --> 00:16:19,442
- I don't know what I am saying all of sudden.
- That one got away from here a little bit.
293
00:16:19,482 --> 00:16:23,512
Look, I would like nothing more than
just sit back and let you do everything.
294
00:16:23,693 --> 00:16:27,466
But I'm not going to get better at
this unless I made my own mistakes.
295
00:16:27,708 --> 00:16:30,215
I have been home with these kids for 17 years.
296
00:16:31,341 --> 00:16:34,607
I can't just suddenly detached
and not give a crap.
297
00:16:34,732 --> 00:16:36,333
It's easier than you think.
298
00:16:38,357 --> 00:16:40,794
- Could I at least give you a tip every once in a while?
- Yes.
299
00:16:40,935 --> 00:16:43,357
- Like now? - Go nuts!
- There are still boys here.
300
00:16:58,660 --> 00:17:00,746
This is the worst day of my life.
301
00:17:00,825 --> 00:17:02,490
Hey, Fartacus!
302
00:17:03,075 --> 00:17:04,513
May be it would get better.
303
00:17:05,011 --> 00:17:08,357
- What are you doing here, Stags?
- Came to party with your sister.
304
00:17:08,419 --> 00:17:11,060
- She is not having anyone else over.
- That is not what I hear.
305
00:17:11,270 --> 00:17:14,157
I heard that she cheated on Mango with Brian Hurley.
306
00:17:14,435 --> 00:17:17,833
- Hey, they are just lab partners.
- She is slutting out.
307
00:17:17,911 --> 00:17:20,505
- That is a lie, man. Don't say stuff about my sister!
- Or what?
308
00:17:21,341 --> 00:17:23,091
Are you trying to get crazy with me?
309
00:17:24,332 --> 00:17:26,465
Do you know how much I benched?
310
00:17:28,426 --> 00:17:30,066
I guess something more than three figure.
311
00:17:32,333 --> 00:17:33,771
You know what, man?
312
00:17:33,846 --> 00:17:35,690
Take a swing at me. I want you to!
313
00:17:35,713 --> 00:17:37,385
That was a lie. I was lying
314
00:17:39,041 --> 00:17:40,674
You are trying to get crazy with me?
315
00:17:41,198 --> 00:17:42,729
You already said that.
316
00:17:49,651 --> 00:17:51,948
You know what, this place is lame.
317
00:17:52,877 --> 00:17:54,385
I'm out of here.
318
00:17:54,791 --> 00:17:56,487
Make sure you're stopping by.
319
00:17:59,315 --> 00:18:00,737
Sorry, that was for me.
320
00:18:05,815 --> 00:18:08,780
Well, God, this was just been loads of fun,
321
00:18:08,862 --> 00:18:12,784
but the sleepover is now finished. If
I didn't conceive you, head for the door.
322
00:18:13,354 --> 00:18:16,737
If you need the definition of
conceive, head for the door.
323
00:18:18,961 --> 00:18:21,641
I tell you champs, I thought that kid is
going to beat the tart out of you.
324
00:18:21,687 --> 00:18:23,085
- You're watching?
- Yeah.
325
00:18:23,274 --> 00:18:25,867
- And you're just going to let that happen?
- No, I would turn the hose on.
326
00:18:25,907 --> 00:18:28,055
Besides, you seem to be handling the situation.
327
00:18:28,914 --> 00:18:32,258
But yeah, tomorrow he is going to start
flapping his mouth about me again. So...
328
00:18:33,891 --> 00:18:35,219
So what?
329
00:18:35,969 --> 00:18:39,398
Here is the list of all of people's
opinions that actually matter to me.
330
00:18:40,915 --> 00:18:42,186
Your mother...
331
00:18:45,133 --> 00:18:48,079
- That is not a list.
- That's not an opinion that I care about.
332
00:18:48,406 --> 00:18:50,491
Look, I promised you..., that kid
333
00:18:50,765 --> 00:18:53,562
is not in anybody's list, why?
Because he is an ass.
334
00:18:53,593 --> 00:18:56,975
And the world is full of them.
Believe me, I deal with them everyday.
335
00:18:57,008 --> 00:18:58,680
Do you what I eventually realise?
336
00:18:59,297 --> 00:19:03,050
They are just full of craps, and
anybody worth the damn is not on your nose.
337
00:19:07,969 --> 00:19:09,471
All my dad said were right.
338
00:19:10,945 --> 00:19:12,562
On the next day back at school...
339
00:19:14,243 --> 00:19:16,540
Hey look, it's Fartacus.
340
00:19:17,336 --> 00:19:19,180
It helped me not care so much.
341
00:19:21,414 --> 00:19:22,693
- Frankie!
- Hey!
342
00:19:23,274 --> 00:19:25,750
Having a really hot girlfriend kinda helped too.
343
00:19:27,532 --> 00:19:28,704
So...
344
00:19:28,969 --> 00:19:31,110
- did anything cool happen recently?
345
00:19:34,711 --> 00:19:35,985
Uhm, nothing's worth mentioning.
346
00:19:36,039 --> 00:19:38,183
Yep, this is going to be a good year.
347
00:19:50,047 --> 00:19:53,944
By Rachel's next sleepover, my
dad will be a lot more prepared.
348
00:19:59,225 --> 00:20:02,715
I am telling you... If I found one
of those boys hiding in this house,
349
00:20:02,751 --> 00:20:05,015
I could just see me snapping,
350
00:20:05,967 --> 00:20:07,401
and grabbing this letter opener...
351
00:20:07,933 --> 00:20:10,988
and plunging into their jugular over and over,
352
00:20:11,059 --> 00:20:13,303
until their blood were slurping out like a fountain,
353
00:20:13,363 --> 00:20:16,300
you will be calling me say, "Jack, stop".
354
00:20:16,648 --> 00:20:18,679
Don't kill me! I'm a virgin!
355
00:20:20,608 --> 00:20:22,013
I saw him when I walked in.
356
00:20:22,905 --> 00:20:26,413
Look at you! Getting the hang of this.
357
00:20:27,734 --> 00:20:29,234
I think I can hang for a while!
29448
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