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Previously on Black Monday...
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Okay, I admit it! We left him for dead!
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To Ms. Nomi Maldana,
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00:00:07,790 --> 00:00:09,722
our latest signing to KokoMo Co Records.
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And your fianc�.
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- We're getting hitched, y'all!
- Yeah.
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Maybe Nomi and I are in
different stages of our life.
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Better to know the day before
than the day after.
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00:00:17,940 --> 00:00:20,393
I wanna give you total
control of your own label.
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00:00:20,398 --> 00:00:23,356
Sign anybody you want.
Starting with Nomi, of course.
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I don't wanna lead you on,
unless maybe it's onto a bed.
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00:00:26,879 --> 00:00:29,122
Play your cards right
and you can nab the VP slot
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00:00:29,127 --> 00:00:31,364
for the next presidential campaign.
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Did we?
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00:00:32,450 --> 00:00:35,248
Cartwheel 69?
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You wish.
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Damn. Jammer's cabin is pretty sweet.
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I was at Home Alone, the movie.
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I was at a test screening
for the movie Home Alone.
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00:00:47,825 --> 00:00:49,341
The fuck are you doing, Larry?
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Why are you sitting in the elevator
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when you should be at your office?
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If he didn't make it back to his office,
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he didn't sign the papers.
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There is a Tiff Drag Night tonight.
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What the fuck is that?
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It looks like a bag of uncased sausage.
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Holy shit, that's a dead body.
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No, it's... it's alive.
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Hey-o!
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Bring in those bodies
'cause it's time to partys.
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I said the S on the end
to keep the plural thing going.
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Okay. Who is ready to have
some good, clean fun?
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And by good, clean fun, I mean
some of the purest cocaine
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your schnozzes have ever shnorted.
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Ooh, what's that drinking game
we used to play?
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- Quarters?
- Quarters.
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Where we'd see how much we could drink
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after we smoked a quarter ounce of weed?
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Let's do that. Heads up!
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Oh.
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I thought you were gonna catch that.
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I'm sorry, I just...
I don't think either of us
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00:02:00,558 --> 00:02:01,814
is really in the mood, Mo.
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What the fuck? Come on, guys.
Are you kidding me?
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This is my bachelor party.
And tomorrow's the wedding.
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00:02:06,827 --> 00:02:09,025
And New Year's Eve.
That's like a fun-fecta.
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Yeah, and also Tiff is dead.
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Yeah, right.
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I'm... I'm sorry, Blair.
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But listen, don't you think
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Tiff would want us
to have some fun, though?
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This year has been very sobering.
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00:02:20,238 --> 00:02:23,516
And I don't mean sobering sobering.
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And now I'm about to get
everything I've ever wanted.
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Well, that seems like a good reason
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to celebrate, huh, big guy?
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I was just pausing for dramatic effect.
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The end of that sentence is:
but what does it matter?
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Because my wife and the love of my life,
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- two different people...
- Of course.
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- Are dead.
- Yeah.
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00:02:41,379 --> 00:02:44,216
And Larry's dead, which I
wouldn't feel either way about
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except it fucked my whole plan for LA.
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00:02:47,105 --> 00:02:49,301
No, no, no, you guys aren't
gonna suck me into this.
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You need to compartmentalize
that shit, okay?
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It's fun time! We're gonna have fun!
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Guys, you don't see me moping around
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just because I lost my label,
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which was the most
professionally fulfilled
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I've ever been in my entire life.
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That's true.
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And arguably took
my entire life to build.
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Oh, God damn it.
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Merry triple Xmas.
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Let's get Mo some
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hos, hos, ho...
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Wow.
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I was gonna say who died,
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but that would be in poor taste.
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So instead I just...
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- Said it anyway?
- Mm.
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And whose Rolls-Royce is that?
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Oh. That Rolls is mine.
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Y'all remember how we found
Lenny all chopped up to pieces
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before he could sign the papers
to give Mo his label back?
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You mean the most traumatic
thing we've all experienced.
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Yeah, you mean when I had a
fucking dead dick in my hand?
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Exposition, exposition.
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00:03:48,030 --> 00:03:49,588
Well, that was also before
he could sign the papers
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that would reverse the last
birthday gift he gave me,
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namely his name.
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He had his parents
posthumously adopt me.
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So you got parents now. Congrats.
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00:03:57,857 --> 00:03:59,776
- I really don't care, Keith.
- You're always into some freaky shit.
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00:03:59,780 --> 00:04:04,517
So I am the only living
Leighman brother left,
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which means I inherited
The Whole Enchilada,
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00:04:07,966 --> 00:04:10,063
which is their Mexican fast-food chain,
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00:04:10,068 --> 00:04:11,645
and also
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00:04:11,650 --> 00:04:15,088
the Leighman Brothers entire operation.
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- Oh, my God.
- Holy shit.
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And my first act as
acting president and CEO is...
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To give me my label back.
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And give me my freedom
so I can start a label in LA?
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Yes and yes.
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Along with giving myself
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whatever the fuck I want.
And my kids too.
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00:04:33,866 --> 00:04:35,543
I actually rented out FAO Schwarz
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for an entire weekend.
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I didn't even know you could do that.
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- And Shira? She forgave me.
- Who cares?
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Well, I wouldn't start
ski poling each other just yet.
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Ski poling?
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It's like when you're sitting
in between two guys
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and you take their dicks
and then you just go.
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Oh.
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Was that on the table?
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Need I remind you that none
of this is going to matter
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because someone is trying to kill us?
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00:04:57,178 --> 00:04:59,172
Well, not to be a dick,
121
00:04:59,177 --> 00:05:00,193
but, uh...
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I think they're primarily
trying to kill you.
123
00:05:02,321 --> 00:05:05,639
No. Wayne's limo could
have been for all of us.
124
00:05:05,644 --> 00:05:07,642
And what about Larry?
I mean, you got to admit,
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00:05:07,647 --> 00:05:09,924
it seems like somebody
is trying to kill anyone
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00:05:09,929 --> 00:05:11,365
who is close to the Jammer Group.
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00:05:11,370 --> 00:05:14,368
- Or anyone who's close to you.
- Of course.
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00:05:14,373 --> 00:05:15,390
You ruined my life.
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Why would you care if someone took it?
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00:05:17,196 --> 00:05:19,353
Thanks for understanding, Blair.
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00:05:19,358 --> 00:05:21,796
Okay, who is up for that drinking game?
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- Ooh, better yet.
- Uh...
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Anybody interested in a sniffing game?
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- Let's do it.
- Sniffing game!
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00:05:26,444 --> 00:05:27,444
Okay, listen.
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00:05:27,449 --> 00:05:30,949
To be honest, it's not just Mo
who ruined your life.
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We all are responsible for
you being in this situation.
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00:05:34,097 --> 00:05:36,635
And I, for one, am sorry.
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00:05:36,640 --> 00:05:39,838
I wanna help get you out of it.
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00:05:39,843 --> 00:05:41,680
Thank you, Dawn.
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00:05:43,101 --> 00:05:44,101
Okay, fine.
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00:05:44,106 --> 00:05:46,163
I mean, I guess we all do owe you
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00:05:46,168 --> 00:05:47,845
or whatever the fuck, all right?
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You know, even though
it's my bachelor party,
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let's put all of our heads together
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and try to catch whoever the fuck it is
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00:05:52,911 --> 00:05:54,128
who's trying to take Blair out.
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In the form of a drinking game.
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- Ha-ha!
- Yes!
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- Okay.
- Oh, we're gonna get fucked up.
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If it's about me, I'll play.
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It was a vicious attack.
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00:06:05,483 --> 00:06:07,280
He'll still require extensive surgery
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00:06:07,285 --> 00:06:09,743
to repair his vocal chords,
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what's left of his penis, scrotum, anus.
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But...
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It's a Christmas miracle
he's still alive.
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That was no miracle.
You saved this man's life.
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A 44-hour operation,
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anyone else would have
given up, but you?
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I took an oath, Gene.
I never give up on a patient.
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Okay, the secret to a perfect sting
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00:06:35,509 --> 00:06:36,509
is paying attention to...
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Wait. Who are we even stinging?
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We don't know who the killer is.
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Yeah, all we know is that he...
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- Or she.
- Really?
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00:06:41,948 --> 00:06:43,426
I'm just saying,
we won't know we're equal
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until people are as terrified
of women as men.
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First of all, questioning
the master of ceremonies
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- is a drink.
- Oh!
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Okay. What are the rules?
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Uh-oh.
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00:06:52,931 --> 00:06:55,609
Ask me a question, Blair.
Naughty, naughty. Drink.
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00:06:55,614 --> 00:06:56,614
Yeah, yeah.
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00:06:56,619 --> 00:06:58,136
So what? Just everything is a drink?
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00:06:58,141 --> 00:07:00,198
Keith is catching on.
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You know what that means? Drink.
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Drink.
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00:07:02,970 --> 00:07:05,139
Guys, you're overthinking it.
All we need to do
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00:07:05,144 --> 00:07:06,901
is get all of us together in one place,
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00:07:06,906 --> 00:07:10,604
and we wait for the killer
to make his or her move
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00:07:10,609 --> 00:07:13,127
and then... catch him in the act.
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00:07:13,132 --> 00:07:16,090
- Of killing one of us?
- Yeah.
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00:07:16,095 --> 00:07:19,493
I mean, preferably before that.
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00:07:19,498 --> 00:07:21,856
Okay, so it's a trap and we're the bait.
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00:07:21,861 --> 00:07:24,939
I like to refer to it
as a non-sexual honeypot.
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Everything's a fucking honeypot.
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- Okay, but where do we do it?
- Mo's wedding tomorrow.
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00:07:28,948 --> 00:07:30,905
- It's perfect.
- Hang on a second.
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00:07:30,910 --> 00:07:32,535
Oh, my gosh, yeah,
we'll all be together.
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00:07:32,540 --> 00:07:34,117
Yeah, you're right, great idea.
193
00:07:34,122 --> 00:07:35,280
- No, no, wait...
- Oh, my God, yes.
194
00:07:35,284 --> 00:07:37,090
And the killer will know
exactly where it is
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00:07:37,095 --> 00:07:39,632
since you blasted your business
all over The New York Times
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00:07:39,637 --> 00:07:41,795
like a couple of yuppie shitheads.
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00:07:41,800 --> 00:07:43,556
I happen to think
the picture of Nomi and I
198
00:07:43,561 --> 00:07:45,619
- riding sidesaddle is cute.
- Ugh.
199
00:07:45,624 --> 00:07:47,440
And I can get the FBI to stake it out
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00:07:47,445 --> 00:07:49,083
because I'm gonna be
the next vice president.
201
00:07:49,087 --> 00:07:50,363
Guys, I-I don't know
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00:07:50,368 --> 00:07:52,366
if I'm into turning my wedding
into a fucking...
203
00:07:52,370 --> 00:07:54,027
Oh, Mo, this was such a good idea.
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00:07:54,032 --> 00:07:55,168
I feel better already.
205
00:07:55,173 --> 00:07:57,410
- It wasn't my idea to do...
- Top-notch work.
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00:07:57,415 --> 00:08:00,053
Okay, fine. Fuck it.
We'll do it at the wedding.
207
00:08:00,058 --> 00:08:02,816
As long as we call it
a non-sexual honeypot.
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00:08:02,821 --> 00:08:05,521
Fine. Do you think that
you will be able to get Nomi
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00:08:05,526 --> 00:08:08,024
on board with a non-sexual honeypot?
210
00:08:08,029 --> 00:08:10,704
Get Nomi on board? This one.
211
00:08:10,709 --> 00:08:12,265
What are you talking about?
212
00:08:12,270 --> 00:08:14,287
Look, I know who wears
the pants in the family,
213
00:08:14,292 --> 00:08:16,449
and she better know who wears
the pants in the family.
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00:08:16,454 --> 00:08:18,511
We're not gonna start off
on some pussyfoot,
215
00:08:18,516 --> 00:08:19,913
if you know what I mean.
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00:08:19,918 --> 00:08:21,194
I'm not gonna tell Nomi.
217
00:08:21,199 --> 00:08:22,796
- Bitch-ass.
- Yeah, smart.
218
00:08:22,801 --> 00:08:24,478
You know, Dawn says she's a real twat.
219
00:08:24,482 --> 00:08:25,580
I think this could really work.
220
00:08:25,584 --> 00:08:28,922
I'm gonna call Werner
and get him on the FBI.
221
00:08:28,927 --> 00:08:30,483
Well, dammit, I can't get a signal.
222
00:08:30,488 --> 00:08:31,605
- Pull up that little antenna.
- That way.
223
00:08:31,609 --> 00:08:32,886
- Mm-mm.
- No.
224
00:08:32,891 --> 00:08:34,247
Try out back by the road.
225
00:08:34,252 --> 00:08:35,869
All right. Thanks, guys.
226
00:08:35,874 --> 00:08:37,291
- Problem solved.
- I'll be right back.
227
00:08:37,295 --> 00:08:38,892
Okay, c'mon.
228
00:08:38,897 --> 00:08:41,294
Who wants some pills
and coke and cough syrup?
229
00:08:41,299 --> 00:08:42,675
? Pills and coke and cough syrup ?
230
00:08:42,680 --> 00:08:44,777
- I love pills.
- Me too.
231
00:08:44,782 --> 00:08:46,800
- Not to be a buzz kill...
- And yet you are.
232
00:08:46,805 --> 00:08:49,123
Except that is your entire
reason for being on the planet.
233
00:08:49,128 --> 00:08:51,325
But if you think putting us
all in one place
234
00:08:51,330 --> 00:08:53,808
will tempt the killer
into making a move,
235
00:08:53,813 --> 00:08:56,130
aren't we all in one place right now?
236
00:08:56,135 --> 00:09:00,193
Specifically one spooky, secluded cabin
237
00:09:00,198 --> 00:09:01,955
in the middle of the fucking woods?
238
00:09:03,001 --> 00:09:04,357
Just make a point.
239
00:09:04,362 --> 00:09:08,181
Wait, uh... He's right, Mo.
240
00:09:08,186 --> 00:09:10,824
I mean, we are kinda like sitting ducks.
241
00:09:10,829 --> 00:09:12,366
Take it from me.
242
00:09:12,371 --> 00:09:16,369
If someone wants to kill us,
the woods are a perfect place.
243
00:09:16,374 --> 00:09:18,251
Jesus Christ. You guys, calm down.
244
00:09:18,256 --> 00:09:19,933
There's nothing to be afraid of.
245
00:09:22,661 --> 00:09:24,698
Okay, okay.
246
00:09:24,703 --> 00:09:28,702
Listen, I am not personally afraid.
247
00:09:28,707 --> 00:09:30,385
And I don't think anything
is gonna happen.
248
00:09:30,389 --> 00:09:33,187
That being said, maybe we just
take some precautions
249
00:09:33,192 --> 00:09:34,508
and, you know, fortify the crib
250
00:09:34,513 --> 00:09:36,210
just for you guys, for you guys.
251
00:09:36,215 --> 00:09:39,654
And I-I-I, too, am not afraid.
252
00:09:39,659 --> 00:09:42,717
But it's your party, Mo,
so whatever you say goes.
253
00:09:42,722 --> 00:09:44,819
And for those who are afraid
like Keith...
254
00:09:44,824 --> 00:09:46,961
- Yeah, Keith.
- Well, it makes perfect sense.
255
00:09:46,966 --> 00:09:50,164
I'm probably the least scared
of anyone, if we're comparing,
256
00:09:50,169 --> 00:09:51,966
but maybe it could be fun to see
257
00:09:51,971 --> 00:09:53,687
how safe we could actually
make this place.
258
00:09:53,691 --> 00:09:54,692
Yeah, right?
259
00:09:54,696 --> 00:09:55,696
Oh, God!
260
00:09:55,701 --> 00:09:57,091
- Everybody grab a weapon!
- Oh, God!
261
00:09:57,095 --> 00:09:59,097
We're all gonna die! Hit the floor!
262
00:09:59,838 --> 00:10:02,716
Okay now tell us the next letter.
263
00:10:07,526 --> 00:10:09,082
E.
264
00:10:17,055 --> 00:10:21,875
He's just confused from the trauma.
265
00:10:21,880 --> 00:10:23,917
John Doe here will tell us his name
266
00:10:23,922 --> 00:10:25,719
when he's good and ready.
267
00:10:25,724 --> 00:10:27,080
Okay.
268
00:10:27,085 --> 00:10:29,202
I got two cans of paint
and a tub of tar!
269
00:10:29,207 --> 00:10:31,005
I got a bunch of ugly-ass
Christmas ornaments
270
00:10:31,009 --> 00:10:32,285
and a hand torch.
271
00:10:32,290 --> 00:10:34,487
Nails, toy cars for some reason.
272
00:10:34,492 --> 00:10:35,930
Why don't you have any fucking weapons?
273
00:10:35,934 --> 00:10:37,610
Oh, I'm sorry, Keith, I keep
274
00:10:37,615 --> 00:10:39,412
- my weapons in New York City.
- Oh, my God.
275
00:10:39,417 --> 00:10:40,734
You know, the most dangerous
fucking city in the world.
276
00:10:40,738 --> 00:10:41,794
- I don't wanna die.
- Okay. All right.
277
00:10:41,798 --> 00:10:42,816
I just got generational wealth.
278
00:10:42,820 --> 00:10:44,258
You're not gonna fucking die tonight.
279
00:10:44,262 --> 00:10:45,499
- All right, guys. Okay, guys.
- Will you calm down?
280
00:10:45,503 --> 00:10:46,780
Well, then how are we gonna
defend ourselves
281
00:10:46,784 --> 00:10:47,981
- with this shit...
- Guys!
282
00:10:47,986 --> 00:10:50,268
Jesus. I got an idea.
283
00:11:01,359 --> 00:11:02,636
Oh. Come on, come on, come on,
284
00:11:02,640 --> 00:11:03,756
come on, come on, come on,
285
00:11:03,761 --> 00:11:05,161
come on, come on, come on, come on.
286
00:11:07,365 --> 00:11:10,003
- Hello.
- Werner. Yes.
287
00:11:10,008 --> 00:11:12,525
I think I finally figured out
how to catch my killer.
288
00:11:12,530 --> 00:11:14,527
- Who is this?
- Blair.
289
00:11:14,532 --> 00:11:16,229
- Blair who?
- Pfaff.
290
00:11:16,234 --> 00:11:17,450
How many Blairs do you know
291
00:11:17,455 --> 00:11:18,652
have people trying to kill them?
292
00:11:18,656 --> 00:11:20,794
Blair Regan Bogan, my ex-girlfriend.
293
00:11:20,799 --> 00:11:22,996
She slept with my step-brother
and I want her dead.
294
00:11:23,001 --> 00:11:25,498
And you thought I was her?
295
00:11:25,503 --> 00:11:27,260
She has a very deep, gay voice.
296
00:11:27,265 --> 00:11:29,442
Look, I need you to call the FBI
297
00:11:29,447 --> 00:11:31,364
and get them to stake out
Mo's wedding tomorrow.
298
00:11:31,369 --> 00:11:33,807
I have a very good feeling
my killer is gonna be there.
299
00:11:33,812 --> 00:11:36,389
Well, I mean, technically
it's a bad feeling,
300
00:11:36,394 --> 00:11:38,431
but either way,
we can put the thing to bed.
301
00:11:38,436 --> 00:11:39,473
Question.
302
00:11:39,478 --> 00:11:41,576
What makes you think the FBI
wants to do shit for you?
303
00:11:41,580 --> 00:11:43,237
Mm, I don't know,
maybe because I'm going to be
304
00:11:43,241 --> 00:11:45,518
the next vice president
of the United States.
305
00:11:45,523 --> 00:11:46,821
No, you're not.
306
00:11:46,825 --> 00:11:48,741
You're done, Blair.
307
00:11:51,889 --> 00:11:54,047
So you're ready?
308
00:11:54,052 --> 00:11:55,689
Oh, yeah.
309
00:11:55,694 --> 00:11:57,570
Think we're gonna be able to take him.
310
00:11:57,575 --> 00:11:58,671
Or her.
311
00:11:58,676 --> 00:12:00,033
Well, thanks for being an ally,
312
00:12:00,038 --> 00:12:02,836
but I meant, you know, to get married.
313
00:12:02,841 --> 00:12:04,758
Assuming we survive tonight.
314
00:12:04,763 --> 00:12:07,761
Yeah, yeah. I think so.
315
00:12:07,766 --> 00:12:10,483
I mean, I'm not in my 40s anymore,
316
00:12:10,488 --> 00:12:13,206
is something I'm gonna be
saying in 11 short years.
317
00:12:15,213 --> 00:12:18,892
Oh. She's lucky.
318
00:12:18,897 --> 00:12:21,314
Bitch.
319
00:12:21,319 --> 00:12:23,276
Yeah. I'm just shocked.
320
00:12:23,281 --> 00:12:25,959
That you're tying the knot?
I think we all are.
321
00:12:25,964 --> 00:12:27,921
No, no. I'm...
322
00:12:27,926 --> 00:12:30,923
I'm shocked it's not you.
323
00:12:35,453 --> 00:12:38,211
Yeah.
324
00:12:38,216 --> 00:12:40,293
We should, uh...
325
00:12:40,298 --> 00:12:41,494
Yeah, it's finished.
326
00:12:41,499 --> 00:12:42,776
- Okay.
- Okay, careful.
327
00:12:42,781 --> 00:12:45,018
- Okay.
- Watch the glass.
328
00:12:45,023 --> 00:12:48,101
Surprise, surprise.
329
00:12:48,106 --> 00:12:50,663
I did everything the RNC asked me to do.
330
00:12:50,668 --> 00:12:52,627
How can they drop me after
everything I've been through?
331
00:12:52,631 --> 00:12:54,687
Yeah, that's why they're dropping you.
332
00:12:54,692 --> 00:12:56,411
'Cause people around you
are dropping like flies
333
00:12:56,415 --> 00:12:57,792
at a free urology clinic.
334
00:12:57,797 --> 00:12:59,414
All these deaths have a tipping point.
335
00:12:59,419 --> 00:13:01,656
No president wants a VP
with such liability.
336
00:13:01,661 --> 00:13:02,878
Bush has enough liability
337
00:13:02,883 --> 00:13:04,780
with his cocaine-addicted dumbfuck son.
338
00:13:04,785 --> 00:13:06,141
You know what? Good.
339
00:13:06,146 --> 00:13:08,603
I don't want that job.
Politics suck shit.
340
00:13:08,608 --> 00:13:09,785
It's just a bunch of losers
341
00:13:09,790 --> 00:13:11,008
who couldn't get laid in high school
342
00:13:11,012 --> 00:13:12,628
punishing everyone who did.
343
00:13:12,633 --> 00:13:14,650
I wanna do something important and good
344
00:13:14,655 --> 00:13:17,053
with my life from now on, for real.
345
00:13:17,058 --> 00:13:19,095
But in the meantime, that said,
346
00:13:19,100 --> 00:13:21,337
the least you could do is call the FBI
347
00:13:21,342 --> 00:13:23,259
and have them do this for me tomorrow.
348
00:13:23,264 --> 00:13:24,841
- No, I can't.
- Why?
349
00:13:24,846 --> 00:13:26,843
Because I don't work
for the RNC anymore.
350
00:13:26,848 --> 00:13:29,225
My internship is done.
I'm back at college.
351
00:13:29,230 --> 00:13:30,809
Okay? There's literally
nothing I could do.
352
00:13:30,813 --> 00:13:33,410
Wait. You never actually
worked for the RNC?
353
00:13:33,415 --> 00:13:36,673
Well, technically I got credit
towards my Poli Sci minor but...
354
00:13:36,678 --> 00:13:39,116
Minor? What was your major?
355
00:13:39,121 --> 00:13:40,618
Physical Education.
356
00:13:40,623 --> 00:13:42,940
I also host a comedy night
at the union once a month,
357
00:13:42,945 --> 00:13:44,461
which you would know had you asked me
358
00:13:44,466 --> 00:13:47,184
one question about myself
literally ever.
359
00:13:47,189 --> 00:13:48,708
- Well, that was intentional.
- You know what?
360
00:13:48,712 --> 00:13:50,609
Even if I could call the FBI, I wouldn't
361
00:13:50,614 --> 00:13:54,013
'cause you deserve to die,
you selfish prick.
362
00:13:54,018 --> 00:13:55,596
Hey, but look me up
if you're ever in Bloomington
363
00:13:55,600 --> 00:13:58,118
looking for a laugh.
364
00:13:58,123 --> 00:14:01,126
Werner!
365
00:14:06,644 --> 00:14:08,841
Happy Valentine's Day.
366
00:14:08,846 --> 00:14:10,603
I got all of your favorites here.
367
00:14:10,608 --> 00:14:13,846
The Times, the Journal. Rob Report.
368
00:14:13,851 --> 00:14:16,409
And your oatmeal
is just the way you like it.
369
00:14:16,414 --> 00:14:18,611
Half steel-cut, half instant.
370
00:14:18,616 --> 00:14:21,099
Mixie-dixie.
371
00:14:24,083 --> 00:14:27,660
All right, here comes the airplane.
372
00:14:29,347 --> 00:14:30,964
C'mon, you gotta eat.
373
00:14:30,968 --> 00:14:32,866
Hey!
374
00:14:32,871 --> 00:14:35,688
I'm not giving up, so neither can you.
375
00:14:35,693 --> 00:14:38,571
I know rehab can be frustrating,
376
00:14:38,576 --> 00:14:40,333
but we're in this together.
377
00:14:40,338 --> 00:14:42,055
You and me...
378
00:14:42,060 --> 00:14:43,576
John Doe.
379
00:15:00,438 --> 00:15:02,916
What the fuck?
380
00:15:05,123 --> 00:15:07,520
Is that tar?
381
00:15:21,419 --> 00:15:23,056
What the fuck is going on?
382
00:15:34,792 --> 00:15:36,794
I couldn't stay away.
383
00:15:40,638 --> 00:15:44,197
I've been thinking
about you all night, and...
384
00:15:44,202 --> 00:15:46,960
maybe there's something I can do to
385
00:15:46,965 --> 00:15:48,441
make you more comfortable.
386
00:15:50,328 --> 00:15:52,085
Do you trust me, John?
387
00:15:52,090 --> 00:15:54,092
Uh-huh.
388
00:16:03,061 --> 00:16:04,937
I know.
389
00:16:04,942 --> 00:16:07,660
It looks worse than it is.
390
00:16:07,665 --> 00:16:09,963
But with the groundbreaking
graft work we've done,
391
00:16:09,968 --> 00:16:13,166
it should still be possible
for you to...
392
00:16:13,171 --> 00:16:16,669
experience pleasure.
393
00:16:16,674 --> 00:16:19,112
Would you like me to show you?
394
00:16:19,117 --> 00:16:21,119
Uh-huh.
395
00:16:30,728 --> 00:16:33,326
Oh, my God.
The killer is here, isn't she?
396
00:16:33,331 --> 00:16:35,168
It's not a fucking girl.
Stop saying that.
397
00:16:35,173 --> 00:16:36,729
Then who was just screaming like that?
398
00:16:36,734 --> 00:16:37,970
Why would a killer scream?
399
00:16:37,975 --> 00:16:39,172
Then who was screaming?
400
00:16:39,177 --> 00:16:40,573
It was probably Blair.
401
00:16:40,578 --> 00:16:41,734
- Oh, my God.
- Oh, God.
402
00:16:41,739 --> 00:16:42,935
Blair is dead, isn't he?
403
00:16:42,940 --> 00:16:45,178
- Oh, no.
- Oh, I'm scared, Mo.
404
00:16:45,183 --> 00:16:47,780
It's okay. No, really, shh, shh.
405
00:16:47,785 --> 00:16:50,103
No really...
406
00:16:51,349 --> 00:16:54,988
Oh, Jesus. Ugh.
407
00:16:54,993 --> 00:16:58,991
Oh, my God!
408
00:16:58,996 --> 00:17:00,793
- Yassir?
- Oh, my God.
409
00:17:00,798 --> 00:17:02,316
What the hell are you doing here, man?
410
00:17:02,320 --> 00:17:05,678
I was going to your
fucking bachelor party!
411
00:17:05,683 --> 00:17:07,680
Dude, you're fucking up
all of our booby traps.
412
00:17:07,685 --> 00:17:09,642
Why do you have booby traps?
413
00:17:09,647 --> 00:17:11,904
'Cause whoever's trying
to kill Blair and us
414
00:17:11,909 --> 00:17:13,186
is potentially out there.
415
00:17:13,191 --> 00:17:15,628
Oh, my God, of course.
This is where they do it.
416
00:17:19,077 --> 00:17:21,234
- Oh, shit.
- Oh, shit.
417
00:17:21,239 --> 00:17:25,358
- Motherfucker.
- Blair! You're alive!
418
00:17:25,363 --> 00:17:26,679
I'm alive!
419
00:17:26,684 --> 00:17:28,021
I'm sorry. I heard screaming.
420
00:17:28,026 --> 00:17:29,742
I thought you guys were getting killed.
421
00:17:29,747 --> 00:17:33,186
That was me. I have glass in my feet.
422
00:17:33,191 --> 00:17:35,228
I can honestly say
423
00:17:35,233 --> 00:17:38,351
this is the most pain I've
ever been in in my entire life.
424
00:17:40,238 --> 00:17:43,196
- Spoke too soon.
- Okay.
425
00:17:44,522 --> 00:17:46,079
How many paint cans are there?
426
00:17:46,084 --> 00:17:47,320
- Uh.
- Uh...
427
00:17:47,325 --> 00:17:49,562
- Three.
- Three. Okay.
428
00:17:49,567 --> 00:17:52,445
So one, there's two, and then there's...
429
00:17:52,450 --> 00:17:53,606
Oh, no!
430
00:17:55,213 --> 00:17:56,329
Three.
431
00:17:56,334 --> 00:17:58,291
You fuckers are crafty.
432
00:17:58,296 --> 00:17:59,773
You kinda brought that one on yourself
433
00:17:59,777 --> 00:18:01,294
with the whole countdown thing.
434
00:18:01,299 --> 00:18:02,575
I'm sorry I laughed.
435
00:18:02,580 --> 00:18:04,177
I shouldn't have laughed at that.
436
00:18:04,182 --> 00:18:05,879
You'd have known the shit was coming
437
00:18:05,883 --> 00:18:07,020
if you hadn't fucking lied about
438
00:18:07,024 --> 00:18:08,201
going to see Home Alone.
439
00:18:08,206 --> 00:18:12,785
Who... gives a fuck if I saw Home Alone?
440
00:18:12,790 --> 00:18:17,590
All you people do is fucking
lie all day about everything!
441
00:18:17,595 --> 00:18:19,592
I don't put glass in your feet
442
00:18:19,597 --> 00:18:21,994
or fucking hit y'all with paint cans.
443
00:18:21,999 --> 00:18:24,217
- Oh, well, excuse us.
- Take it easy, bro.
444
00:18:24,222 --> 00:18:26,359
- "Take it easy, bruh".
- Okay.
445
00:18:26,364 --> 00:18:29,001
The good news is, the killer's not here.
446
00:18:29,006 --> 00:18:30,523
So that's good.
447
00:18:32,089 --> 00:18:33,607
- Who the fuck is that?
- Oh, shit.
448
00:18:33,611 --> 00:18:36,569
Okay, okay, everyone you
invited is here, right, Mo?
449
00:18:38,536 --> 00:18:40,013
Yeah.
450
00:18:40,018 --> 00:18:41,094
Holy shit!
451
00:18:41,098 --> 00:18:42,795
Oh, we're gonna die!
452
00:18:42,800 --> 00:18:45,318
Shut the fucking door! Shut the door!
453
00:18:45,323 --> 00:18:47,220
- Get the goddamn door!
- Come on!
454
00:18:50,468 --> 00:18:52,665
Come on.
455
00:18:52,670 --> 00:18:55,067
That's it.
456
00:18:55,072 --> 00:18:56,949
You're getting stronger
every day, Johnny.
457
00:18:56,954 --> 00:18:58,972
And you just keep it up
458
00:18:58,977 --> 00:19:01,154
and you'll be walking
and talking in no time.
459
00:19:02,800 --> 00:19:05,798
See, you're doing it.
460
00:19:05,803 --> 00:19:09,542
Oh, look at you.
461
00:19:09,547 --> 00:19:12,184
Better and better. Look at that form.
462
00:19:14,091 --> 00:19:15,848
Look at my man go.
463
00:19:18,576 --> 00:19:20,733
Yes.
464
00:19:20,738 --> 00:19:23,095
Yes, you're doing it.
465
00:19:28,786 --> 00:19:30,288
Me too, babe.
466
00:19:45,763 --> 00:19:48,521
I just wanna say, I'm still not scared.
467
00:19:48,526 --> 00:19:50,103
- No. No one's scared.
- I'm not scared.
468
00:19:50,108 --> 00:19:53,085
But I also wanna say that
I'm very sorry for anything
469
00:19:53,090 --> 00:19:55,007
that I might have done
to any of you, ever.
470
00:19:55,012 --> 00:19:56,389
- Same.
- Same, yeah.
471
00:19:56,394 --> 00:19:57,971
- I'm not sorry for shit.
- I'm gonna have glass stuck
472
00:19:57,975 --> 00:19:59,533
in my foot for the rest
of my fucking life.
473
00:19:59,537 --> 00:20:00,934
- What are you talking about?
- Well, fucking deal with it.
474
00:20:00,938 --> 00:20:02,455
Oh, gosh.
475
00:20:06,504 --> 00:20:08,140
Mo?
476
00:20:08,145 --> 00:20:09,542
Nomi?
477
00:20:09,547 --> 00:20:11,344
I thought this was a bachelor party.
478
00:20:11,349 --> 00:20:14,026
Are y'all playing
flashlight tag or what?
479
00:20:14,031 --> 00:20:15,588
No.
480
00:20:15,593 --> 00:20:17,069
The power just went out.
481
00:20:17,074 --> 00:20:18,431
False alarm, everybody.
482
00:20:18,436 --> 00:20:19,753
Told you, nothing to be scared of,
483
00:20:19,757 --> 00:20:21,494
fucking pussies.
484
00:20:21,499 --> 00:20:23,456
Hey, what's going on?
Why are you here, babe?
485
00:20:23,461 --> 00:20:26,078
Oh, I didn't wanna interrupt your party,
486
00:20:26,083 --> 00:20:30,202
but I need to talk to you and
Dawn before the wedding.
487
00:20:30,207 --> 00:20:33,125
Talk-talk to Dawn? Why?
488
00:20:33,130 --> 00:20:35,248
I, um...
489
00:20:35,253 --> 00:20:37,150
I'm going to Varnish.
490
00:20:37,155 --> 00:20:39,892
- Great, so am I.
- You are?
491
00:20:39,897 --> 00:20:42,174
Yeah. Keith, he got Mo his label back,
492
00:20:42,179 --> 00:20:43,416
so we're good to go.
493
00:20:43,421 --> 00:20:45,978
I'm Keith. That's my Rolls out front.
494
00:20:45,983 --> 00:20:47,985
- Wait. You didn't know that?
- Yeah.
495
00:20:49,387 --> 00:20:51,984
That motherfucker.
496
00:20:51,989 --> 00:20:55,147
Has Arnie been calling you?
497
00:20:55,152 --> 00:20:56,589
I'm-I'm sorry.
498
00:20:56,594 --> 00:20:58,591
I'm Blair. Hi.
499
00:20:58,596 --> 00:21:00,753
Congratulations on the engagement.
500
00:21:00,758 --> 00:21:03,176
Can someone fill me in
on what we're talking about?
501
00:21:03,181 --> 00:21:05,978
Who is Arnie? What is Varnish?
502
00:21:05,983 --> 00:21:08,781
Other than the shit
that hit Yassir in the face.
503
00:21:11,208 --> 00:21:12,625
Asshole.
504
00:21:12,630 --> 00:21:14,987
Arnie Markowitz is the very attractive,
505
00:21:14,992 --> 00:21:18,130
very sexual, very cool owner
of Varnish Records.
506
00:21:18,135 --> 00:21:20,534
- Okay.
- And that's why Dawn's been fucking him.
507
00:21:20,538 --> 00:21:22,095
Oh. Atta girl.
508
00:21:22,100 --> 00:21:24,777
But now it seems like
maybe Nomi's fucking the guy.
509
00:21:24,782 --> 00:21:26,178
- What?
- What the fuck?
510
00:21:26,183 --> 00:21:27,540
What the fuck did you just say?
511
00:21:27,545 --> 00:21:30,303
- It's a theory.
- I've always hated you.
512
00:21:30,308 --> 00:21:33,886
No. We were just
talking about my career.
513
00:21:33,891 --> 00:21:35,208
Oh. Well, I'm sorry.
514
00:21:35,213 --> 00:21:39,512
How it would be better if I got
started with a bigger label.
515
00:21:39,517 --> 00:21:43,115
But I'll never forget
what you did for me, Dawn.
516
00:21:43,120 --> 00:21:46,078
Damn, Dawn, I think you just got dumped.
517
00:21:46,083 --> 00:21:48,881
And I'm moving to LA.
518
00:21:48,886 --> 00:21:50,483
Wait. Wait. What?
519
00:21:50,488 --> 00:21:52,044
I told you she was a twat.
520
00:21:52,049 --> 00:21:53,466
I'm sorry, but Arnie says
521
00:21:53,471 --> 00:21:55,668
it's where all the opportunities are.
522
00:21:55,673 --> 00:21:59,011
But we can try to make it work,
long distance.
523
00:21:59,016 --> 00:22:01,534
S-sure.
524
00:22:01,539 --> 00:22:02,635
I mean, a lot of...
525
00:22:02,640 --> 00:22:05,157
a lot of marriages start
bicoastal, right?
526
00:22:09,066 --> 00:22:11,944
But in light of everything,
527
00:22:11,949 --> 00:22:15,828
maybe we should just push
the wedding back a little bit.
528
00:22:15,833 --> 00:22:18,150
Well, I'm sorry.
529
00:22:18,155 --> 00:22:19,712
Sorry?
530
00:22:19,717 --> 00:22:21,153
- Come here.
- Yeah?
531
00:22:30,968 --> 00:22:33,646
- Goodbye.
- Mm.
532
00:22:37,054 --> 00:22:39,056
Bye, Nomi.
533
00:22:41,519 --> 00:22:44,216
- Ooh.
- Oof.
534
00:22:44,221 --> 00:22:47,660
After endless surgeries
535
00:22:47,665 --> 00:22:51,904
and countless hours of rehab,
536
00:22:51,909 --> 00:22:56,509
I think that you are finally ready.
537
00:22:58,636 --> 00:23:02,515
Behold, my masterpiece.
538
00:23:10,528 --> 00:23:12,885
- Eh.
- Eh? What do you mean?
539
00:23:12,890 --> 00:23:14,647
- Move!
- No!
540
00:23:14,652 --> 00:23:16,489
No, wait.
541
00:23:16,494 --> 00:23:18,711
Johnny, you're beautiful. Don't go!
542
00:23:18,716 --> 00:23:21,914
Wait! Johnny!
543
00:23:21,919 --> 00:23:26,959
My name... is Lenny.
544
00:23:30,588 --> 00:23:33,546
No. No.
545
00:23:33,551 --> 00:23:35,813
Don't go. Please!
546
00:23:36,574 --> 00:23:39,191
I can't believe she broke up
with us both.
547
00:23:39,196 --> 00:23:42,079
- Hard.
- Right?
548
00:23:45,643 --> 00:23:47,920
I'm sorry.
549
00:23:47,925 --> 00:23:49,042
I'm sorry.
550
00:23:49,047 --> 00:23:51,164
Well, at least it can't get
any worse. Am I right?
551
00:23:51,168 --> 00:23:52,505
Why the fuck would you say that?
552
00:23:52,510 --> 00:23:53,788
- Way to ride the broom.
- Jinx!
553
00:23:53,792 --> 00:23:58,031
Here's something bad in three, two, one.
554
00:23:58,036 --> 00:24:00,012
Hey! See? Some good luck.
555
00:24:00,017 --> 00:24:01,875
Earlier today,
556
00:24:01,879 --> 00:24:03,557
a titan of the financial industry
557
00:24:03,562 --> 00:24:05,639
made a most shocking announcement.
558
00:24:05,644 --> 00:24:09,122
Reports of my death
have been greatly exaggerated.
559
00:24:09,127 --> 00:24:10,564
Tha... tha...
560
00:24:10,569 --> 00:24:12,264
That's right.
561
00:24:12,269 --> 00:24:15,748
It's me, Lenny.
562
00:24:15,753 --> 00:24:17,910
It has been widely believed
563
00:24:17,915 --> 00:24:20,072
that I was crushed on Black Monday,
564
00:24:20,077 --> 00:24:23,556
only to survive long enough
to make some very...
565
00:24:23,561 --> 00:24:27,439
stupid trade deals
before being left for dead
566
00:24:27,444 --> 00:24:28,881
- at Wolf Lake.
- That's impossible.
567
00:24:28,886 --> 00:24:32,124
Well, I am here
to set the record straight.
568
00:24:32,129 --> 00:24:35,548
Not crushed nor eaten.
569
00:24:35,553 --> 00:24:38,571
Still very much in control
of the Leighman Brothers.
570
00:24:38,576 --> 00:24:40,452
- Oh, God.
- Furthermore,
571
00:24:40,457 --> 00:24:44,376
any affiliation with the village idiot,
572
00:24:44,381 --> 00:24:47,660
Keith Shankar, shall be terminated.
573
00:24:47,665 --> 00:24:50,242
Fuck!
574
00:24:50,247 --> 00:24:54,286
Along with anyone else
who has ever crossed me.
575
00:24:54,291 --> 00:24:56,589
Oh, fuck, oh, fuck, oh, fuck!
576
00:24:56,594 --> 00:24:58,671
I think that one...
that was good, right?
577
00:24:58,676 --> 00:25:01,754
We got that one.
I feel good about that one.
578
00:25:01,759 --> 00:25:03,236
- I think we got it.
- Hey. Wait a minute, guys.
579
00:25:03,240 --> 00:25:05,758
Look, this might be good news after all.
580
00:25:05,763 --> 00:25:07,120
Mo, how?
581
00:25:07,125 --> 00:25:09,621
Well, at least we know
who the fucking killer is now.
582
00:25:09,626 --> 00:25:11,363
And Blair, probably right.
583
00:25:11,368 --> 00:25:13,405
- I am?
- He was after all of us.
584
00:25:13,410 --> 00:25:15,007
And Lord knows we deserve it.
585
00:25:15,012 --> 00:25:16,028
Well.
586
00:25:16,033 --> 00:25:17,531
And I'll tell you something else.
587
00:25:17,535 --> 00:25:21,013
I'm not going out like that.
We ain't going out like that.
588
00:25:21,018 --> 00:25:22,054
Yeah!
589
00:25:22,059 --> 00:25:24,416
Especially not to some
bitch-ass brotherfucker.
590
00:25:24,421 --> 00:25:26,018
Fuck him! He's a fucking nerd!
591
00:25:26,023 --> 00:25:27,459
Yeah, in fucking glasses.
592
00:25:27,464 --> 00:25:29,221
With glasses, exactly.
593
00:25:29,226 --> 00:25:30,543
Some white boy.
594
00:25:30,548 --> 00:25:31,644
Last time I looked,
595
00:25:31,649 --> 00:25:33,866
everybody in this fucking room
is a killer.
596
00:25:33,871 --> 00:25:36,188
Blair, you killed Jammer.
597
00:25:36,193 --> 00:25:39,031
- Yeah.
- And arguably your boyfriend.
598
00:25:39,036 --> 00:25:40,353
Keith, you almost killed this guy.
599
00:25:40,357 --> 00:25:41,393
You did your best.
600
00:25:41,398 --> 00:25:43,876
Yassir, you're a pacifist.
601
00:25:43,881 --> 00:25:45,358
And Dawn, you...
602
00:25:45,363 --> 00:25:47,379
you know how many people died
during Black Monday?
603
00:25:47,384 --> 00:25:48,561
- So many!
- So many!
604
00:25:48,566 --> 00:25:49,922
- Yes.
- And also Spencer killed
605
00:25:49,927 --> 00:25:51,043
himself after you left him.
606
00:25:51,048 --> 00:25:52,364
Wait. Wait. What, what?
607
00:25:52,369 --> 00:25:54,246
- I thought I told you that.
- No, no.
608
00:25:54,251 --> 00:25:55,710
Okay, well, he killed himself
after you left him.
609
00:25:55,714 --> 00:25:57,751
What I'm saying is we've all killed.
610
00:25:57,756 --> 00:25:59,593
At least all of you
have killed somebody.
611
00:25:59,598 --> 00:26:01,293
We're supposed to be scared at him?
612
00:26:01,298 --> 00:26:03,215
He better be fucking scared of us.
613
00:26:03,220 --> 00:26:05,097
I'm fucking coked out of my mind
614
00:26:05,102 --> 00:26:06,498
even though I'm, like, chill.
615
00:26:06,503 --> 00:26:09,061
- And I'm ready to fucking kill this guy.
- Exactly.
616
00:26:09,066 --> 00:26:12,224
For Blair, for Tiff, for Wayne,
617
00:26:12,229 --> 00:26:15,027
for other people whose names
are not as significant
618
00:26:15,032 --> 00:26:17,349
and I cannot remember
at this exact moment!
619
00:26:17,354 --> 00:26:19,373
- Yes!
- We're gonna take this motherfucker down
620
00:26:19,378 --> 00:26:20,854
- once and for all...
- Yeah!
621
00:26:20,859 --> 00:26:22,556
- At my wedding!
- Yeah!
622
00:26:22,561 --> 00:26:24,097
Yes! Uh-oh.
623
00:26:24,102 --> 00:26:28,921
Okay, I hate to kill the vibe,
but Mo, there's no wedding.
624
00:26:28,926 --> 00:26:31,663
Nomi's gone, remember? She left you.
625
00:26:31,668 --> 00:26:33,966
She's outta here.
626
00:26:33,971 --> 00:26:36,328
Yeah. I'm sorry, again.
627
00:26:36,333 --> 00:26:39,331
Unless...
628
00:26:39,336 --> 00:26:41,253
Dawn, will you fake marry me?
629
00:26:41,258 --> 00:26:42,995
You? Why?
630
00:26:43,000 --> 00:26:44,438
Look, I was already
getting married, okay?
631
00:26:44,442 --> 00:26:45,943
We don't have to throw out
the bride and the groom.
632
00:26:45,947 --> 00:26:48,861
Well, I'm the only one with
actual sham wedding experience.
633
00:26:48,866 --> 00:26:50,182
Uh, beg to differ there.
634
00:26:50,187 --> 00:26:52,504
Shut the fuck up, Keith.
635
00:26:52,509 --> 00:26:54,632
Um...
636
00:26:56,934 --> 00:26:59,231
Oh, I'm torn! I don't know!
637
00:26:59,236 --> 00:27:00,953
Okay.
638
00:27:00,958 --> 00:27:03,555
I can't marry a white man,
real or fake, so.
639
00:27:03,560 --> 00:27:05,317
Prejudice wins again.
640
00:27:05,322 --> 00:27:06,441
Get the fuck out of here. Boom.
641
00:27:06,445 --> 00:27:08,520
Congratulations.
642
00:27:12,329 --> 00:27:14,927
Dawn...
643
00:27:14,932 --> 00:27:17,570
- My dear old friend.
- Mm.
644
00:27:17,575 --> 00:27:19,132
- Didn't mean it like that.
- Okay.
645
00:27:19,136 --> 00:27:21,013
Will you fake marry me?
646
00:27:21,018 --> 00:27:23,295
- Fake?
- Yeah, fake.
647
00:27:23,300 --> 00:27:25,377
- You all heard fake, right?
- Fake.
648
00:27:25,382 --> 00:27:28,620
- Okay.
- Everybody heard me say fake.
649
00:27:31,028 --> 00:27:32,624
- Yes.
- Yes?
650
00:27:32,629 --> 00:27:35,107
I will fake marry you!
651
00:27:35,112 --> 00:27:36,869
- Well...
- High five, then.
652
00:27:36,874 --> 00:27:38,630
- Okay.
- All right.
653
00:27:38,635 --> 00:27:40,953
Homeboy.
654
00:28:33,450 --> 00:28:37,450
- Synced and corrected by Firefly -
- www.addic7ed.com -
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