Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:00,680 --> 00:00:04,680
'The following programme contains
strong language and adult humour.'
2
00:00:13,080 --> 00:00:16,160
ROB: The Tokyo Olympic Games
are just around the corner,
3
00:00:16,200 --> 00:00:18,920
so Romesh and I
are on a very special mission...
4
00:00:18,960 --> 00:00:20,920
-You ready?
-Yeah.
You look good.
5
00:00:20,960 --> 00:00:23,080
..to see if we have what it takes
6
00:00:23,120 --> 00:00:26,360
to join the ranks
of the world-beating team GB.
7
00:00:28,160 --> 00:00:30,640
Last week
we handpicked Olympic sports
8
00:00:30,680 --> 00:00:32,600
that we thought
we'd have a chance at.
9
00:00:32,640 --> 00:00:35,920
There must be one here that
we're gonna excel at. There must be.
10
00:00:35,960 --> 00:00:38,360
Our hopes were sunk
on the canoe slalom.
11
00:00:38,400 --> 00:00:40,280
(SCREAMS)
Oh, God!
12
00:00:40,320 --> 00:00:43,520
And a weightlifting
didn't exactly lift our spirits.
13
00:00:43,560 --> 00:00:45,240
I hate it.
14
00:00:45,280 --> 00:00:48,120
But Rom did show some promise
on the hockey field.
15
00:00:48,160 --> 00:00:50,000
(CHEERING)
16
00:00:52,360 --> 00:00:54,360
So, this week I need a win...
17
00:00:54,400 --> 00:00:56,880
(GROANS)
18
00:00:56,920 --> 00:00:59,480
..as we continue on our search
for a sport...
19
00:00:59,520 --> 00:01:01,960
Pull.
..we were born to do.
20
00:01:17,120 --> 00:01:19,280
First up, Romesh, Max Whitlock.
21
00:01:19,320 --> 00:01:21,400
The greatest British gymnast
of all time.
22
00:01:21,440 --> 00:01:23,120
Who is the second greatest?
23
00:01:23,160 --> 00:01:26,960
Oh. Old, you know, Carl Sleeves.
24
00:01:29,360 --> 00:01:31,960
But Max Whitlock is truly amazing.
Yes. He is.
25
00:01:32,000 --> 00:01:34,760
Proper Olympic great.
He is well flexible, mate.
26
00:01:34,800 --> 00:01:37,760
Proper flexible.
Mad flex. He's got mad flex.
27
00:01:37,800 --> 00:01:41,280
-So flexible.
-He's bendy,
he's ripped and he's a nice guy.
28
00:01:41,320 --> 00:01:45,280
Ripped and flexible?
I bet he's got a really tiny dick.
29
00:01:45,320 --> 00:01:47,680
And a nice guy.
Had you been ripped from 16,
30
00:01:47,720 --> 00:01:49,720
just the way
you'd swagger around life.
31
00:01:49,760 --> 00:01:52,480
You'd be so different.
Top off whenever the sun came out.
32
00:01:52,520 --> 00:01:54,840
No reason to try and be funny
or interesting.
33
00:01:54,880 --> 00:01:57,920
If you had a six-pack, would you be
tops off walking around a park?
34
00:01:57,960 --> 00:02:00,440
-No.
-No?
Well, I'd like to think I wouldn't.
35
00:02:01,560 --> 00:02:05,040
If I had Max Whitlock's physique,
I'd be unbearable.
36
00:02:05,080 --> 00:02:07,440
I'd do so many Instagram pictures
on holiday.
37
00:02:07,480 --> 00:02:10,560
I'd be like, "Look at my brown head
and completely white body."
38
00:02:14,040 --> 00:02:17,160
If you were picking something you
might be good at, what would it be?
39
00:02:17,200 --> 00:02:19,000
In gymnastics?
In gymnastics, yeah.
40
00:02:19,040 --> 00:02:21,800
I'd need something that does
most of the work. Trampoline?
41
00:02:21,840 --> 00:02:23,560
Yeah. I like the idea of trampoline.
42
00:02:23,600 --> 00:02:25,520
I've got a mini trampoline
for the kids.
43
00:02:25,560 --> 00:02:28,200
With three months
of Instagram stories to show for it.
44
00:02:28,240 --> 00:02:30,520
Oh, sorry.
Some of us have time to Instagram
45
00:02:30,560 --> 00:02:32,520
cos we're not on the telly all day.
46
00:02:32,560 --> 00:02:34,240
Ooh, boy.
47
00:02:34,280 --> 00:02:36,840
It's egotistical
to talk about myself on Instagram.
48
00:02:36,880 --> 00:02:39,760
I should just get a television show
named after me.
49
00:02:39,800 --> 00:02:41,840
A pun of my own name on the TV.
50
00:02:41,880 --> 00:02:43,880
The Ranganation.
51
00:02:43,920 --> 00:02:46,240
Misadventures
With Romesh Ranganathan.
52
00:02:46,280 --> 00:02:48,160
Rob
53
00:02:48,200 --> 00:02:50,400
So, do you do telly
without your name in it?
54
00:02:50,440 --> 00:02:52,280
I did Judge Romesh.
55
00:02:52,320 --> 00:02:54,080
Yeah.
Oh, whoops.
56
00:02:57,400 --> 00:02:59,480
I can't see us being good
at gymnastics.
57
00:02:59,520 --> 00:03:01,640
Do you know what?
I think you are right.
58
00:03:01,680 --> 00:03:05,000
But if we've got any ability,
Max will be able to find it.
59
00:03:07,800 --> 00:03:09,680
Max Whitlock MBE
60
00:03:09,720 --> 00:03:12,840
is the most successful gymnast
in British history.
61
00:03:12,880 --> 00:03:15,880
COMMENTATOR: Oh, he nails it
well under pressure.
62
00:03:15,920 --> 00:03:17,840
He broke onto the scene at 19,
63
00:03:17,880 --> 00:03:20,680
winning two bronze medals
at London 2012.
64
00:03:21,560 --> 00:03:23,280
Four years later, at Rio,
65
00:03:23,320 --> 00:03:26,160
he cemented his place
in British sporting history,
66
00:03:26,200 --> 00:03:29,880
winning another bronze
and not one but two gold medals...
67
00:03:29,920 --> 00:03:33,640
And Max Whitlock has just landed
on a gold medal.
68
00:03:33,680 --> 00:03:38,080
..becoming Team GB's first ever
Olympic gymnastics champion.
69
00:03:40,800 --> 00:03:43,160
Wow.
(APPLAUSE)
70
00:03:43,200 --> 00:03:45,040
Yes, Max.
Hello, mate.
71
00:03:45,080 --> 00:03:46,840
How are you both? All right?
72
00:03:46,880 --> 00:03:49,520
Just taking in that and the fact
you've got your top off.
73
00:03:49,560 --> 00:03:52,000
It's a lot to process.
It's a lot happening there.
74
00:03:52,040 --> 00:03:55,480
I thought I'd take you through some
training today if you're up for it.
75
00:03:55,520 --> 00:03:57,920
It will be quite intense,
some serious stuff,
76
00:03:57,960 --> 00:04:00,880
but it should be good,
if you're willing to get stuck in.
77
00:04:00,920 --> 00:04:03,280
What's happening there, mate?
Let's strip off.
78
00:04:03,320 --> 00:04:05,720
Want to go topless now?
Yeah. Might as well.
79
00:04:06,640 --> 00:04:08,440
Join in with Max.
80
00:04:11,760 --> 00:04:13,600
Let's do it.
-You ready?
-Yeah.
81
00:04:13,640 --> 00:04:15,320
You look good.
Cool.
82
00:04:15,360 --> 00:04:17,640
Our moves wouldn't win any medals...
83
00:04:17,680 --> 00:04:20,120
I don't know why we did that.
84
00:04:20,160 --> 00:04:22,160
..so we decided to dress for glory.
85
00:04:22,200 --> 00:04:24,040
♪ X gon' give it to ya
What?
86
00:04:24,080 --> 00:04:27,160
♪ Waiting for you to get it
on your own, X gon' deliver to ya
87
00:04:27,200 --> 00:04:29,480
♪ Knock, knock
Open up the door, it's real... ♪
88
00:04:29,520 --> 00:04:32,120
You don't look impressed.
YOU don't look impressed.
89
00:04:32,160 --> 00:04:34,000
That's the problem.
(LAUGHS)
90
00:04:34,040 --> 00:04:36,000
Are we intimidating you?
A little bit.
91
00:04:36,040 --> 00:04:38,160
What's it like seeing a real man
in this shit?
92
00:04:38,200 --> 00:04:40,560
Welcome to the gun show.
RealBritain
93
00:04:40,600 --> 00:04:42,600
(LAUGHTER)
94
00:04:43,720 --> 00:04:45,720
That's what a real man looks like.
Yeah.
95
00:04:45,760 --> 00:04:47,960
It looks good. Yeah. Comfy?
96
00:04:48,000 --> 00:04:50,720
That actually hurt a lot more
than I thought it would.
97
00:04:50,760 --> 00:04:53,320
Right, so, we will start off
with getting warmed up.
98
00:04:53,360 --> 00:04:57,160
Stop injuries from happening.
We'll start off with an on-the-spot.
99
00:04:57,200 --> 00:05:00,400
Come on, mate.
Some jogging, get ourselves warm.
100
00:05:00,440 --> 00:05:04,440
I was crap in PE. Humiliatingly bad.
Terrible at gymnastics.
101
00:05:04,480 --> 00:05:06,680
I decided to leave
that part of my life behind
102
00:05:06,720 --> 00:05:08,400
and go on and do something else.
103
00:05:08,440 --> 00:05:10,480
Straight legs. That's it.
(LAUGHTER)
104
00:05:11,440 --> 00:05:13,600
Like that?
(LAUGHTER)
105
00:05:13,640 --> 00:05:17,360
And sadly, as a result
of being involved in this show,
106
00:05:17,400 --> 00:05:20,920
I have to relive all of my PE
lessons all over again as an adult.
107
00:05:23,280 --> 00:05:25,280
Me, Romesh, big baby.
(LAUGHTER)
108
00:05:27,160 --> 00:05:29,200
The target, then,
is to touch your toes.
109
00:05:29,240 --> 00:05:31,520
(SCREAMS)
Yes, Rom. You're getting there.
110
00:05:31,560 --> 00:05:33,560
How you like that shit, Whitlock?
111
00:05:33,600 --> 00:05:35,320
On more than one occasion
112
00:05:35,360 --> 00:05:39,240
Rob Beckett has described himself
as hypermobile.
113
00:05:40,120 --> 00:05:43,360
Rob Beckett and hypermobile
should not be in the same sentence.
114
00:05:43,400 --> 00:05:45,840
In fact, Rob Beckett is not mobile.
(GROANS)
115
00:05:45,880 --> 00:05:47,600
(LAUGHTER)
116
00:05:48,960 --> 00:05:50,680
I could end up with egg on my face
117
00:05:50,720 --> 00:05:53,760
if he suddenly pulls out
a bloody double pirouette with a...
118
00:05:53,800 --> 00:05:55,800
I don't know what things are called.
119
00:05:55,840 --> 00:05:57,640
Nice.
Is that it?
120
00:05:57,680 --> 00:05:59,680
Yeah, that's was.
You prick.
121
00:05:59,720 --> 00:06:02,760
The cartwheel was fine,
but that's not Olympics, is it?
122
00:06:02,800 --> 00:06:04,480
That was a heavy bum.
123
00:06:04,520 --> 00:06:06,320
What next? Hopscotch?
124
00:06:06,360 --> 00:06:08,120
Tag? It?
125
00:06:08,160 --> 00:06:10,040
How is he able to do it? You prick.
126
00:06:11,280 --> 00:06:12,960
(GRUNTS)
127
00:06:15,960 --> 00:06:17,720
Go on.
128
00:06:19,800 --> 00:06:21,800
That was pretty good.
We're getting there.
129
00:06:21,840 --> 00:06:23,520
Yeah.
Based on what?
130
00:06:23,560 --> 00:06:26,160
(LAUGHTER)
What evidence have you got of that?
131
00:06:27,040 --> 00:06:29,440
Max's favourite event
is the pommel horse.
132
00:06:30,600 --> 00:06:32,880
That's an Olympic champion.
133
00:06:33,800 --> 00:06:35,560
After seeing us in action...
134
00:06:35,600 --> 00:06:37,680
Your body goes around,
hand lifts up.
135
00:06:37,720 --> 00:06:40,360
The reigning world
and Olympic champion decided
136
00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:42,640
we would be better off
learning the basics
137
00:06:42,680 --> 00:06:44,800
on a giant mushroom
and plastic bucket.
138
00:06:44,840 --> 00:06:48,000
Right, off you go, Rom.
Don't overload the mushroom.
139
00:06:48,040 --> 00:06:50,640
I don't give a shit
about overloading the bucket.
140
00:06:50,680 --> 00:06:53,560
That's it. Go on, then.
You've got to move your body around.
141
00:06:53,600 --> 00:06:55,280
That's it. Yes.
That's it.
142
00:06:55,320 --> 00:06:57,560
Oh. Nearly. That's it.
143
00:06:58,440 --> 00:07:00,600
There you go.
That's it. Legs come around.
144
00:07:00,640 --> 00:07:02,840
And spin 'em.
(LAUGHS)
145
00:07:02,880 --> 00:07:05,520
He's supposed to be facing forward,
-isn't he?
-Yeah.
146
00:07:06,720 --> 00:07:08,720
(LAUGHTER)
147
00:07:14,640 --> 00:07:16,920
I feel like
the world's saddest gnome.
148
00:07:17,800 --> 00:07:21,560
The mushroom and bucket is how, in
gymnastics, they scaffold learning.
149
00:07:21,600 --> 00:07:23,280
That is to start you off.
150
00:07:24,400 --> 00:07:28,000
That's it. Hello. Give me...
No. He's gone.
151
00:07:28,040 --> 00:07:31,600
That would take me
18 months to 2 years
152
00:07:31,640 --> 00:07:33,640
to even manage one rotation.
153
00:07:34,600 --> 00:07:37,400
Oh, no.
He looks like he's been caught.
154
00:07:37,440 --> 00:07:39,120
(LAUGHTER)
155
00:07:39,160 --> 00:07:41,000
You got yourself a big fish.
156
00:07:42,400 --> 00:07:44,520
Reel me in.
157
00:07:44,560 --> 00:07:46,280
It looks like a film.
158
00:07:46,320 --> 00:07:48,480
It was so, so awful.
159
00:07:48,520 --> 00:07:51,240
This looks hard.
I reckon you've got this.
160
00:07:51,280 --> 00:07:53,920
I actually think...
I genuinely think you've got this.
161
00:07:53,960 --> 00:07:56,200
Really go for it. Some speed...
(LAUGHS)
162
00:07:59,440 --> 00:08:01,120
It's hard, that, innit?
163
00:08:01,160 --> 00:08:03,280
It must be easier just on there.
164
00:08:03,320 --> 00:08:05,000
But it wasn't.
165
00:08:05,040 --> 00:08:07,240
So, right leg round and in. Oh.
(GROANS)
166
00:08:07,280 --> 00:08:09,720
(CHUCKLES)
Ever confident, I will go again.
167
00:08:11,120 --> 00:08:13,000
Right leg... Yeah. Pull up.
168
00:08:14,880 --> 00:08:17,280
The old arms.
169
00:08:17,320 --> 00:08:19,120
Whoo!
170
00:08:20,080 --> 00:08:22,320
The mushroom and bucket
was not our event,
171
00:08:22,360 --> 00:08:24,600
but, luckily,
there was plenty more to try.
172
00:08:24,640 --> 00:08:26,880
Shall I show you what it's like?
-Yeah.
-Sure.
173
00:08:26,920 --> 00:08:28,920
Maybe the vault would be easier.
174
00:08:30,680 --> 00:08:32,720
Nope. Absolutely not.
175
00:08:32,760 --> 00:08:35,280
OK. Yeah?
No.
176
00:08:35,320 --> 00:08:38,120
The challenge might as well be,
"Rob, be Asian."
177
00:08:38,160 --> 00:08:42,000
Yeah. "Rob and Rom, your challenge
for the day, speak fluent Punjabi."
178
00:08:42,040 --> 00:08:43,720
♪ Better, better get out my way... ♪
179
00:08:43,760 --> 00:08:46,000
After our pathetic show
on the pommel,
180
00:08:46,040 --> 00:08:48,680
Max decided to bring
the vault down to our level
181
00:08:48,720 --> 00:08:50,880
and Rob attempted a forward roll.
182
00:08:51,880 --> 00:08:54,920
(GRUNTS)
(CHUCKLES)
183
00:08:54,960 --> 00:08:56,760
The neck took a lot of that, Max.
184
00:08:56,800 --> 00:09:00,360
Stupidly, I decided to try something
more ambitious.
185
00:09:04,840 --> 00:09:07,400
(LAUGHTER)
He's gone under.
186
00:09:07,440 --> 00:09:09,280
This is like fucking quicksand.
187
00:09:10,800 --> 00:09:13,520
So, we are here at the rings.
Yeah.
188
00:09:13,560 --> 00:09:15,880
I think, first off,
we will start with hanging.
189
00:09:15,920 --> 00:09:19,640
I suspect we are gonna start and
finish with hanging. Spoiler alert.
190
00:09:19,680 --> 00:09:23,440
I know your job
is the, sort of, low morale guy.
191
00:09:23,480 --> 00:09:25,920
Yeah. You've joined me, haven't you?
Yeah.
192
00:09:25,960 --> 00:09:28,640
I just think...
I think what's happened is
193
00:09:28,680 --> 00:09:31,520
we've put this on,
which is the worst we've ever looked,
194
00:09:31,560 --> 00:09:35,800
and then, after a series of failures,
it does start to hit morale.
195
00:09:35,840 --> 00:09:37,640
Yeah. But we're gonna smash this.
196
00:09:37,680 --> 00:09:40,840
Yeah, this has got Rob and Romesh
-written all over it.
-Yeah.
197
00:09:42,440 --> 00:09:45,400
How difficult is this
compared to the mushroom and bucket?
198
00:09:45,440 --> 00:09:47,920
That sounds like
a terrible pub name, doesn't it?
199
00:09:47,960 --> 00:09:49,760
What's the weight limit on this?
200
00:09:49,800 --> 00:09:51,520
(CHUCKLES)
I actually don't know.
201
00:09:51,560 --> 00:09:54,160
I would love it
if it just snapped off.
202
00:09:54,200 --> 00:09:55,960
(LAUGHTER)
203
00:09:56,000 --> 00:09:57,680
Oh, fuck.
(LAUGHTER)
204
00:09:57,720 --> 00:09:59,400
I nearly went then.
205
00:10:00,280 --> 00:10:02,040
Fucking hell.
206
00:10:04,320 --> 00:10:06,800
Like the shittiest episode
of Ninja Warrior ever.
207
00:10:06,840 --> 00:10:08,600
Oh, I'm sorry, mate.
208
00:10:09,640 --> 00:10:14,160
That's it. How is that feeling?
It is feeling quite solid?
209
00:10:14,200 --> 00:10:16,400
I feel like I'm fat.
210
00:10:16,440 --> 00:10:19,360
We thought we were fat
and it was shown to us today.
211
00:10:19,400 --> 00:10:21,120
(SHRIEKS)
212
00:10:21,160 --> 00:10:23,000
I cannot support my own bodyweight.
213
00:10:23,040 --> 00:10:25,120
That is no way to live, is it?
214
00:10:25,160 --> 00:10:26,960
(GROANING)
215
00:10:27,000 --> 00:10:29,880
And I think that is not the way
an Olympian should be.
216
00:10:33,360 --> 00:10:35,400
Why is it so hard?
(FARTS)
217
00:10:35,440 --> 00:10:37,160
Oh.
That was all right.
218
00:10:37,200 --> 00:10:39,800
(CHUCKLES)
I did a blow-off.
219
00:10:41,640 --> 00:10:44,640
I tried to hide it in the foam,
but he heard it.
220
00:10:44,680 --> 00:10:46,400
The sound man heard it.
221
00:10:46,440 --> 00:10:48,320
I had chicken tikka masala for lunch.
222
00:10:48,360 --> 00:10:50,480
Apologies
if the ring smells now, Rom.
223
00:10:50,520 --> 00:10:52,960
You've got a smelly ring
on your hand, I'm afraid.
224
00:10:53,000 --> 00:10:56,080
Oh, I don't think I can do this.
(BOTH LAUGH)
225
00:10:56,120 --> 00:10:58,440
You push it with your hands?
No, your foot.
226
00:10:58,480 --> 00:11:01,080
I didn't think that bit
would be the challenge.
227
00:11:01,120 --> 00:11:04,360
-It does feel weak.
-That don't look
strong enough, does it?
228
00:11:04,400 --> 00:11:06,520
It's like walking out
on an ironing board.
229
00:11:08,840 --> 00:11:12,080
To be good at gymnastics
requires a level of physicality
230
00:11:12,120 --> 00:11:15,000
that I not only cannot achieve,
I cannot imagine.
231
00:11:15,040 --> 00:11:17,680
♪ I'm-a swing it, watch me bring it
to the next level ♪
232
00:11:17,720 --> 00:11:19,920
There he is. Oh!
(LAUGHTER)
233
00:11:21,120 --> 00:11:22,880
Back up.
234
00:11:22,920 --> 00:11:26,800
Nice. That's it. Legs forwards
and backwards at the same time.
235
00:11:26,840 --> 00:11:29,120
Legs together.
Legs together. Legs together.
236
00:11:29,160 --> 00:11:30,960
That's it.
(GROANS)
237
00:11:32,360 --> 00:11:34,560
That's horrible. That is horrible.
238
00:11:35,600 --> 00:11:38,840
Max decided to bring our agony
to an end on the trampoline.
239
00:11:38,880 --> 00:11:42,520
Oh! OK, yeah, that is mental.
240
00:11:42,560 --> 00:11:44,400
Glasses off, let's go.
241
00:11:44,440 --> 00:11:46,160
Let's do this. Glasses off.
242
00:11:46,200 --> 00:11:49,760
♪ Jump, jump, jump, jump
Jump, jump, jump, jump... ♪
243
00:11:49,800 --> 00:11:54,080
Ooh. Ooh! He's got a bit of pace
about him out of nowhere, hasn't he?
244
00:11:54,120 --> 00:11:56,840
He's loving that.
Hands in the air. Whoo.
245
00:11:56,880 --> 00:11:59,560
You look like you're at the front row
for a Wu-Tang gig.
246
00:11:59,600 --> 00:12:03,280
(LAUGHTER)
Yes! There he goes.
247
00:12:03,320 --> 00:12:05,840
Nobody describes a trampoline
as unpredictable.
248
00:12:05,880 --> 00:12:08,760
But yet, every single time
I came back down onto it,
249
00:12:08,800 --> 00:12:11,640
I was surprised by how quickly
it came up to meet me.
250
00:12:11,680 --> 00:12:13,680
(LAUGHTER)
251
00:12:13,720 --> 00:12:17,800
That can't be real.
That can't be real, mate.
252
00:12:17,840 --> 00:12:19,720
Was that ChuckleVision?
253
00:12:19,760 --> 00:12:23,000
Yeah, the trampoline
I thought would've been easier.
254
00:12:23,040 --> 00:12:25,400
That took you by surprise,
didn't it, Rob?
255
00:12:25,440 --> 00:12:28,400
Stay light.
Don't need to go too high.
256
00:12:28,440 --> 00:12:30,280
(LAUGHTER)
257
00:12:30,320 --> 00:12:34,520
Why am I going so high?
I can't stop it.
258
00:12:34,560 --> 00:12:38,120
I'm used to a circle one with netting
that I've got at home.
259
00:12:38,160 --> 00:12:40,040
So that gives you
a bit of protection.
260
00:12:40,080 --> 00:12:42,080
That is too bouncy.
(LAUGHTER)
261
00:12:42,120 --> 00:12:44,720
Why won't it stop?
262
00:12:44,760 --> 00:12:47,280
I'm not doing anything.
(LAUGHS)
263
00:12:48,720 --> 00:12:51,000
It had more bounce than I needed.
264
00:12:52,160 --> 00:12:53,840
(LAUGHTER)
265
00:12:54,720 --> 00:12:57,000
That was the hardest thing
-we've ever done.
-OK.
266
00:12:57,040 --> 00:12:59,800
And that's the worst
-we've ever been at anything.
-Yeah.
267
00:12:59,840 --> 00:13:04,400
But you were very patient
and I enjoyed the trampoline thing.
268
00:13:04,440 --> 00:13:06,240
Mushroom bucket was hard work.
269
00:13:06,280 --> 00:13:08,760
I think I may have to sue
for my neck.
270
00:13:08,800 --> 00:13:11,480
Maybe gymnastics isn't your thing.
271
00:13:11,520 --> 00:13:13,200
No.
I don't know.
272
00:13:13,240 --> 00:13:15,120
You put that really nicely.
(CHUCKLES)
273
00:13:15,160 --> 00:13:18,080
I've never heard the word "maybe"
take so much stress.
274
00:13:18,120 --> 00:13:19,800
Well, thank you very much.
275
00:13:19,840 --> 00:13:22,600
We're gonna pop back and
probably cry in the shower for a bit
276
00:13:22,640 --> 00:13:24,400
and then head home and re-evaluate.
277
00:13:24,440 --> 00:13:26,520
Thanks for coming.
-Cheers, Max.
-Thanks.
278
00:13:26,560 --> 00:13:28,240
Good luck in Tokyo.
Thank you.
279
00:13:28,280 --> 00:13:29,960
See you later, bro.
See you.
280
00:13:30,000 --> 00:13:32,120
Stop looking at my arse, Max.
(LAUGHS)
281
00:13:43,080 --> 00:13:44,760
Let's do it.
(SHRIEKS)
282
00:13:44,800 --> 00:13:47,400
Rom and I are searching
for our inner Olympian.
283
00:13:47,440 --> 00:13:49,120
You got yourself a big fish.
284
00:13:49,160 --> 00:13:50,920
(LAUGHTER)
Reel me in!
285
00:13:50,960 --> 00:13:53,800
Our training session
with world title winner
286
00:13:53,840 --> 00:13:56,400
and double Olympic champion
Max Whitlock
287
00:13:56,440 --> 00:14:00,080
has exposed our woefully inadequate
gymnastics skills.
288
00:14:00,120 --> 00:14:03,440
(GROANS)
Maybe gymnastics isn't your thing.
289
00:14:03,480 --> 00:14:06,680
Next on our list
was the throwing events.
290
00:14:06,720 --> 00:14:09,280
Otherwise known as fat sports.
291
00:14:09,320 --> 00:14:11,920
Hi, and welcome to Fat Sports.
292
00:14:11,960 --> 00:14:14,160
Two fat guys turning up
to do fat sports.
293
00:14:14,200 --> 00:14:16,520
Sponsored by Pizza Hut Buffet.
294
00:14:16,560 --> 00:14:18,600
And up steps Rob Beckett.
295
00:14:18,640 --> 00:14:21,000
Usual ritual of eating
three or four Pringles
296
00:14:21,040 --> 00:14:23,040
before he steps up
to throw the javelin.
297
00:14:23,080 --> 00:14:26,280
And stuffed crust, that's far!
298
00:14:26,320 --> 00:14:29,400
That is nearly as high
as his cholesterol there.
299
00:14:33,480 --> 00:14:36,240
To make sure we didn't do ourselves
an injury,
300
00:14:36,280 --> 00:14:40,600
we were going to be trained
by Olympic legend Denise Lewis, OBE.
301
00:14:42,920 --> 00:14:45,000
It was the Sydney Olympics in 2000
302
00:14:45,040 --> 00:14:47,520
that Denise stormed
to a momentous victory,
303
00:14:47,560 --> 00:14:50,560
becoming the first European
to win the heptathlon...
304
00:14:50,600 --> 00:14:53,440
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)
She is the Olympic champion.
305
00:14:53,480 --> 00:14:57,200
..and bring home
one of Team GB's 11 golds.
306
00:14:57,240 --> 00:15:00,040
-Hi, Denise.
-Hello.
Hey! Hi, guys.
307
00:15:00,080 --> 00:15:03,200
How you doing? You good?
Welcome to St Mary's Athletics Club.
308
00:15:03,240 --> 00:15:05,360
You're gonna
do some throwing with me today.
309
00:15:05,400 --> 00:15:07,360
Yes.
We're very excited about throwing.
310
00:15:07,400 --> 00:15:09,160
Rob calls them fat sports.
311
00:15:09,200 --> 00:15:12,400
Well, what I'm saying is the main
people that do the throwing ones
312
00:15:12,440 --> 00:15:14,680
are, sort of, heavier set.
313
00:15:14,720 --> 00:15:17,320
Rob, you're the one that said
you could easily do this
314
00:15:17,360 --> 00:15:19,040
after eating three or four pies.
315
00:15:19,080 --> 00:15:21,680
You've invented that,
but I think I could.
316
00:15:21,720 --> 00:15:23,440
(LAUGHS)
Let's have a look, then.
317
00:15:23,480 --> 00:15:26,920
Let's see what you've got. This is
gonna be a head-to-head, isn't it?
318
00:15:26,960 --> 00:15:28,640
We wanna see who's the best here.
319
00:15:28,680 --> 00:15:30,800
Go and get changed
and I'll see you in a bit.
320
00:15:30,840 --> 00:15:34,600
Before we started lobbing heavy
objects, we needed to stretch out.
321
00:15:34,640 --> 00:15:37,840
We've got some warm-up aids.
Grab one each.
322
00:15:38,720 --> 00:15:41,680
What do you look like?
We've got lockdown hair going on.
323
00:15:41,720 --> 00:15:43,840
I think it actually quite suits you.
Thanks.
324
00:15:43,880 --> 00:15:46,480
I like the longer hair,
the slightly darker...
325
00:15:46,520 --> 00:15:48,600
What do you call that? Dirty blonde?
326
00:15:48,640 --> 00:15:51,160
First time Rob's been described
as slightly darker.
327
00:15:51,200 --> 00:15:53,080
He is the whitest bloke I know.
328
00:15:55,080 --> 00:15:57,360
Rob Beckett, super-dark.
329
00:15:57,400 --> 00:16:02,080
"You see that programme where
Denise threw with Romesh and Rob?"
"Which one is Rob?" "The dark one."
330
00:16:02,120 --> 00:16:03,840
(LAUGHTER)
331
00:16:03,880 --> 00:16:06,640
Right, you two.
Right. Restore order.
332
00:16:06,680 --> 00:16:09,280
Right. So, this is not
a necklace, Rob.
333
00:16:09,320 --> 00:16:11,520
We're gonna use this to stretch.
334
00:16:11,560 --> 00:16:13,240
Oh, yeah.
Oh, I like that.
335
00:16:13,280 --> 00:16:15,240
This is a great bit of kit
for home as well.
336
00:16:15,280 --> 00:16:18,040
If the kids are annoying,
you could tie them up with these.
337
00:16:18,080 --> 00:16:21,320
Yeah. Twang their little buttocks.
Why did I say that out loud?
338
00:16:21,360 --> 00:16:25,000
Twang their little buttocks. I think
I'm the one that's slightly darker.
339
00:16:25,040 --> 00:16:27,160
Next, Denise gave us the chance
340
00:16:27,200 --> 00:16:30,360
to showcase our fancy footwork
on the agility ladder.
341
00:16:33,120 --> 00:16:36,120
-I shouldn't laugh.
-Is that right?
It's really right. It's right.
342
00:16:36,160 --> 00:16:38,960
It's just that you cracking up
isn't that motivational.
343
00:16:39,000 --> 00:16:40,840
Keep those toes up. Nice.
344
00:16:46,360 --> 00:16:48,880
(LAUGHTER)
345
00:16:48,920 --> 00:16:50,680
Really quick. I love it.
Too quick?
346
00:16:50,720 --> 00:16:52,400
(LAUGHTER)
347
00:16:52,440 --> 00:16:54,760
I actually managed to fall off
a flat ladder.
348
00:16:54,800 --> 00:16:56,720
We hadn't even started.
349
00:16:56,760 --> 00:16:59,880
Now we were limbered up,
it was time for our first challenge.
350
00:16:59,920 --> 00:17:01,600
The javelin.
351
00:17:01,640 --> 00:17:04,400
Accelerates.
Oh, this looks huge!
352
00:17:04,440 --> 00:17:06,280
Gives it plenty.
It looks good!
353
00:17:06,320 --> 00:17:08,000
It's a world record!
354
00:17:08,040 --> 00:17:10,520
Having tested Denise's patience
in the warm-up,
355
00:17:10,560 --> 00:17:13,240
we'd probably need to be more careful
now she was armed.
356
00:17:13,280 --> 00:17:16,720
I want you to try and stab
this point into the ground.
357
00:17:16,760 --> 00:17:18,520
So, just release...
358
00:17:19,640 --> 00:17:21,360
..and throw.
OK.
359
00:17:21,400 --> 00:17:23,080
Just nice and easy.
Easy.
360
00:17:23,120 --> 00:17:25,640
So, keep the point
nice and close to your head.
361
00:17:25,680 --> 00:17:27,520
Arm back.
362
00:17:27,560 --> 00:17:29,560
It don't look
like how you did it, Denise.
363
00:17:29,600 --> 00:17:31,280
Just face slightly more side-on.
364
00:17:31,320 --> 00:17:33,240
Sorry I don't look like
the heptathlete.
365
00:17:33,280 --> 00:17:35,040
Olympic champion. Sorry about that.
366
00:17:35,080 --> 00:17:38,320
I'm just saying, it doesn't look like
you're doing the same thing.
367
00:17:38,360 --> 00:17:41,400
He looks like a cab driver
who caught one in the car park.
368
00:17:41,440 --> 00:17:43,560
Whose is this? Is this someone's?
369
00:17:43,600 --> 00:17:46,440
I'll get it back to you, mate.
(LAUGHTER)
370
00:17:46,480 --> 00:17:48,480
♪ Don't sweat the technique... ♪
371
00:17:48,520 --> 00:17:51,360
Sure, I looked a bit awkward.
Just take your arm back.
372
00:17:51,400 --> 00:17:53,400
But after a few pointers
from Denise...
373
00:17:53,440 --> 00:17:55,160
See?
Is that it?
374
00:17:55,200 --> 00:17:57,000
..I was good to go.
Launch it.
375
00:17:58,520 --> 00:18:00,280
Fabulous.
Great.
376
00:18:00,320 --> 00:18:03,680
You take your strut.
You go and own it, Romesh.
377
00:18:03,720 --> 00:18:06,720
Thank you. Thank you.
OK. Let me step back this side.
378
00:18:06,760 --> 00:18:08,680
(CHUCKLES)
379
00:18:11,280 --> 00:18:13,680
♪ Good morning,
ladies and gentlemen... ♪
380
00:18:13,720 --> 00:18:16,320
I have no words. That's fantastic.
(LAUGHS)
381
00:18:16,360 --> 00:18:18,120
He's found his event.
382
00:18:18,160 --> 00:18:19,960
See, I really regret the strut now.
383
00:18:20,000 --> 00:18:21,800
Rob was a natural at the javelin.
384
00:18:23,800 --> 00:18:25,480
I mean, he's good.
385
00:18:25,520 --> 00:18:29,040
If you wanted to fall behind
to someone,
386
00:18:29,080 --> 00:18:30,760
Rob Beckett is probably
387
00:18:30,800 --> 00:18:33,680
one of the worst human beings
on the planet to do that to.
388
00:18:33,720 --> 00:18:36,440
I just need to increase
power and speed.
389
00:18:36,480 --> 00:18:38,560
When he discovers
he's good at something,
390
00:18:38,600 --> 00:18:40,480
he truly is a piece of shit
about it.
391
00:18:41,360 --> 00:18:43,240
It don't look human, does it?
392
00:18:45,160 --> 00:18:47,560
What did I do wrong?
You didn't do anything wrong.
393
00:18:47,600 --> 00:18:49,960
Do you want me to get it
while you explain what to do?
394
00:18:50,000 --> 00:18:52,880
OK, I can do.
Everything he does is calculated.
395
00:18:52,920 --> 00:18:56,040
What he is saying is,
"I am now on Denise's side."
396
00:18:56,080 --> 00:18:59,320
When we arrived here,
it was Rom and Rob.
397
00:18:59,360 --> 00:19:01,240
And now it's Denise and Rob
398
00:19:01,280 --> 00:19:04,520
versus Rom's lack of coordination
and physicality.
399
00:19:04,560 --> 00:19:06,400
Fancy, fancy.
Is that right?
400
00:19:06,440 --> 00:19:08,440
Yeah, keep moving. Try and move now.
401
00:19:12,120 --> 00:19:13,880
That's all right, Rom.
Yeah.
402
00:19:13,920 --> 00:19:17,520
After that performance, the javelin
was definitely off my shortlist,
403
00:19:17,560 --> 00:19:20,200
but there were still
three more things to throw.
404
00:19:20,240 --> 00:19:22,240
Next up, the shot put.
405
00:19:23,120 --> 00:19:27,120
At the elite level, these giants
can launch a seven-kilogram shot
406
00:19:27,160 --> 00:19:29,080
well over 20 metres.
407
00:19:29,120 --> 00:19:31,120
But what did we have in our locker?
408
00:19:31,160 --> 00:19:33,160
First thing is positioning
with the shot.
409
00:19:33,200 --> 00:19:35,400
See these little fatty pads
you've got there?
410
00:19:35,440 --> 00:19:37,280
Yeah.
Yeah. Fatty pad.
411
00:19:37,320 --> 00:19:39,480
Press the ball...
Fatty pad.
412
00:19:39,520 --> 00:19:41,520
Get it on the fatty pad.
Yeah.
413
00:19:41,560 --> 00:19:43,240
Get it on the fatty pad.
414
00:19:43,280 --> 00:19:45,240
Hold tight.
(LAUGHTER)
415
00:19:45,280 --> 00:19:47,120
Hold tight with the fatty pads.
416
00:19:47,160 --> 00:19:51,160
Once your first shot put is on
your fatty pads, you're gonna...
417
00:19:51,200 --> 00:19:53,080
RAPPING:
Put it in your necky crease
418
00:19:53,120 --> 00:19:55,120
♪ On the fatty pad
In the necky crease
419
00:19:55,160 --> 00:19:57,200
♪ Turn around
and, baby, I feel release ♪
420
00:19:57,240 --> 00:19:59,360
So, fatty pad, necky crease.
Let's go.
421
00:19:59,400 --> 00:20:01,960
Elbow high
and then you're going throw.
422
00:20:02,000 --> 00:20:03,680
Right. Go on, then, Robby.
423
00:20:03,720 --> 00:20:07,080
Half a pint of water
has leaked out of my eye.
Is that normal with the cold?
424
00:20:07,120 --> 00:20:09,240
That's how it started for me.
(LAUGHS)
425
00:20:12,760 --> 00:20:14,960
Oh, that was good.
Big man Rob.
426
00:20:15,000 --> 00:20:16,880
Big man Rob on the shot put ting.
427
00:20:16,920 --> 00:20:21,560
Denise was really, really impressed
with what Rob did.
428
00:20:21,600 --> 00:20:24,880
Really explode with the legs. Nice.
429
00:20:24,920 --> 00:20:27,160
She wasn't impressed
with what I did.
430
00:20:27,200 --> 00:20:30,280
Which is fine because I was crap.
431
00:20:30,320 --> 00:20:32,080
Oh, fuck.
432
00:20:33,840 --> 00:20:36,480
Not sure what to say about that one,
to be honest.
433
00:20:36,520 --> 00:20:40,560
When it became offensive was when
I started to get patronised.
434
00:20:43,480 --> 00:20:46,160
I think you've done really well.
That's really good.
435
00:20:46,200 --> 00:20:47,880
I would do a shot that was easily
436
00:20:47,920 --> 00:20:49,880
two to three metres shorter
than Rob's.
437
00:20:49,920 --> 00:20:53,120
And then they would all gather round
like I was a new puppy
438
00:20:53,160 --> 00:20:54,960
and tell me how well I'd done.
439
00:20:55,000 --> 00:20:58,120
That's good.
And again. We go again.
440
00:20:58,160 --> 00:21:00,160
Me and Denise were worried
about Romesh.
441
00:21:00,200 --> 00:21:02,960
His head's gone. He's just thinking,
"I can't, I can't."
442
00:21:03,000 --> 00:21:06,400
The truth is he can't, but we need to
try and pretend to him that he can.
443
00:21:06,440 --> 00:21:08,240
(SCREAMS)
444
00:21:08,280 --> 00:21:10,920
I'm not even joking,
that was really nice.
445
00:21:10,960 --> 00:21:12,640
Ah, thanks, Denise.
446
00:21:13,520 --> 00:21:15,320
It was time to get hammered.
447
00:21:15,360 --> 00:21:19,880
Future Olympian Taylor Campbell
was on hand to show us how it's done.
448
00:21:32,840 --> 00:21:34,800
Boys. Hammer throw.
449
00:21:34,840 --> 00:21:36,520
You start on your right.
450
00:21:36,560 --> 00:21:39,760
You swing it round your head,
you brush your hair.
451
00:21:39,800 --> 00:21:41,760
And then you throw.
Yeah.
452
00:21:41,800 --> 00:21:43,560
That's called a standing throw.
OK.
453
00:21:43,600 --> 00:21:45,600
And that's what you boys
will be doing.
454
00:21:47,440 --> 00:21:50,040
And it turned out
the hammer was a great leveller...
455
00:21:51,600 --> 00:21:53,560
Absolutely out of control there.
456
00:21:53,600 --> 00:21:56,800
..because Rob was rubbish...
I was in another dimension!
457
00:21:56,840 --> 00:21:58,960
(LAUGHTER)
458
00:21:59,000 --> 00:22:00,800
..and so was I.
459
00:22:00,840 --> 00:22:02,840
There we go.
-That's it, Rom.
-Throw.
460
00:22:02,880 --> 00:22:05,000
(LAUGHTER)
Yes!
461
00:22:05,040 --> 00:22:07,960
I'm never, ever doing that again.
Thank you. Cheers, mate.
462
00:22:08,000 --> 00:22:11,640
I'm never touching one of those
ever again. Thank you. Good night.
463
00:22:14,200 --> 00:22:18,720
For Romesh to restore some dignity,
all his hopes rested on the discus.
464
00:22:20,920 --> 00:22:25,760
COMMENTATOR: Third round.
His best so far, 66 metres.
465
00:22:25,800 --> 00:22:27,680
Oh, he's got this flying flat.
466
00:22:27,720 --> 00:22:31,080
That's a big throw.
That's a massive throw for Dacres.
467
00:22:31,120 --> 00:22:34,120
So, you really want the discus
to work off the fingers.
468
00:22:38,120 --> 00:22:40,080
(GRUNTS)
Got that?
469
00:22:40,120 --> 00:22:41,800
Got it, yeah.
470
00:22:46,560 --> 00:22:48,240
Better on the grass.
471
00:22:48,280 --> 00:22:51,040
So, I'm gonna do a little
demonstration with my throw.
472
00:22:51,080 --> 00:22:52,960
Get it in the fatty pad. No?
(LAUGHS)
473
00:22:53,000 --> 00:22:54,920
No fatty pad.
-No fatty pad.
-Fatty pad.
474
00:22:54,960 --> 00:22:56,720
(CHUCKLES)
Fingers.
475
00:22:56,760 --> 00:22:59,560
OK. You pointed,
I thought that was my nickname.
476
00:22:59,600 --> 00:23:02,560
Fatty Pad.
Right, Fatty Pad, you listening?
477
00:23:02,600 --> 00:23:05,200
Right, are you ready?
Rob here and my mate Fatty Pad.
478
00:23:05,240 --> 00:23:07,000
We're gonna learn how to do discus.
479
00:23:07,040 --> 00:23:09,240
All right, sorry, Denise.
(LAUGHTER)
480
00:23:09,280 --> 00:23:11,800
Should we crack on? Rotate back.
481
00:23:11,840 --> 00:23:14,080
Release and throw.
Oh.
482
00:23:14,120 --> 00:23:17,160
That's good.
Arm up.
483
00:23:17,200 --> 00:23:20,120
That's not too bad.
I really think I'm gonna smash this.
484
00:23:20,160 --> 00:23:23,280
How am I looking form-wise, Denise?
Looking good.
485
00:23:25,760 --> 00:23:28,680
Oh!
That's your first one.
486
00:23:28,720 --> 00:23:33,160
What did I do wrong? I thought
Rob looked pathetic when he did it
and I didn't do it as well as him.
487
00:23:33,200 --> 00:23:35,840
What were you thinking about
when you were throwing?
488
00:23:35,880 --> 00:23:38,600
Might be a bit dark for this show.
489
00:23:38,640 --> 00:23:41,600
Sort of, haven't been talking much
at home.
490
00:23:41,640 --> 00:23:43,680
Hope she still loves me.
That kind of thing.
491
00:23:43,720 --> 00:23:45,800
See, you need to change it up a bit.
492
00:23:46,920 --> 00:23:48,600
Rob had given his all.
493
00:23:48,640 --> 00:23:50,960
Now I had one last shot
at saving face.
494
00:23:51,000 --> 00:23:52,680
There he is.
495
00:23:52,720 --> 00:23:55,240
I would have to dig deep
and unleash the beast.
496
00:23:55,280 --> 00:23:57,600
It was do or die.
Positivity.
497
00:23:57,640 --> 00:24:00,640
Romesh, you look powerful,
you've got big, strong, long arms.
498
00:24:00,680 --> 00:24:02,400
Positive.
Spin and send her home.
499
00:24:02,440 --> 00:24:05,800
OK. When we did the javelin,
when we did the shot put,
500
00:24:05,840 --> 00:24:09,160
I was slightly worried
about not being in full control.
501
00:24:09,200 --> 00:24:11,200
I was holding back a little bit.
502
00:24:11,240 --> 00:24:13,720
We've been crap
at everything we've done so far
503
00:24:13,760 --> 00:24:16,280
and then as I stepped up
to do the discus, I thought,
504
00:24:16,320 --> 00:24:18,800
"This time, Romesh,
really go for it.
505
00:24:18,840 --> 00:24:20,720
Really, like, give it your all."
506
00:24:25,040 --> 00:24:26,720
Oh, shit.
507
00:24:27,680 --> 00:24:29,440
Fucking hell.
508
00:24:29,480 --> 00:24:31,680
Are you serious?
Are you all right, Denise?
509
00:24:33,160 --> 00:24:35,040
What are you doing?
(LAUGHS)
510
00:24:36,080 --> 00:24:39,040
I nearly said to you
to aim for the open bit.
511
00:24:39,080 --> 00:24:41,560
I literally saw my life flash
in front of me.
512
00:24:41,600 --> 00:24:43,480
I'm so sorry.
Romesh.
513
00:24:43,520 --> 00:24:48,040
Romesh Ranganathan threw a discus
at Denise Lewis' head.
514
00:24:48,080 --> 00:24:50,600
That is not a sentence
I thought I'd say today.
515
00:24:50,640 --> 00:24:53,200
But I have. And she laughed it off.
516
00:24:54,080 --> 00:24:57,520
And I don't know why
cos it nearly killed her.
517
00:24:57,560 --> 00:25:00,080
Based on what you saw today,
is there anything
518
00:25:00,120 --> 00:25:03,120
that you, sort of, think
we had any kind of potential in?
519
00:25:03,160 --> 00:25:06,240
I kind of know the answer from me.
You still need to keep looking.
520
00:25:06,280 --> 00:25:07,960
OK.
What about me?
521
00:25:08,000 --> 00:25:10,480
Javelin. I was very impressed.
Got a natural arm.
522
00:25:10,520 --> 00:25:12,320
I've got a very unnatural arm.
523
00:25:12,360 --> 00:25:15,240
I think your biggest problem
is your self-belief.
524
00:25:15,280 --> 00:25:18,040
Tell yourself that you are better
than you think you are.
525
00:25:18,080 --> 00:25:20,680
Well, I think
I'm absolute shit, so...
526
00:25:20,720 --> 00:25:23,120
All right. I'll do that.
I'll take that forward.
527
00:25:23,160 --> 00:25:24,960
Thank you very much for today.
528
00:25:25,000 --> 00:25:28,160
Denise, good luck with the legal
case you're bringing against me.
529
00:25:28,200 --> 00:25:31,040
Yeah. You'll hear from my lawyers.
Yeah. Thank you. Cheers.
530
00:25:31,080 --> 00:25:33,920
Cheers. Thanks, guys.
-Thanks, guys.
-Thank you. Bye.
531
00:25:33,960 --> 00:25:35,760
That couldn't have gone worse
for me.
532
00:25:35,800 --> 00:25:38,720
They've got no hope.
Yeah, they haven't. Not at all.
533
00:25:46,800 --> 00:25:49,520
(GRUNTS)
We were on a mission with Team GB
534
00:25:49,560 --> 00:25:51,680
to discover the sport
we were born to do.
535
00:25:51,720 --> 00:25:53,400
(LAUGHTER)
536
00:25:53,440 --> 00:25:55,720
After being outclassed by Rob
in the javelin...
537
00:25:55,760 --> 00:25:57,440
I mean, he's good.
538
00:25:57,480 --> 00:26:00,600
..and nearly killing sporting hero
Denise Lewis in the discus...
539
00:26:00,640 --> 00:26:02,320
Oh, shit.
..it was clear.
540
00:26:02,360 --> 00:26:04,920
The throwing events were not for me.
I'm so sorry.
541
00:26:05,920 --> 00:26:09,720
Last on our list and our
final chance at glory was shooting.
542
00:26:09,760 --> 00:26:12,160
So we headed to EJ Churchill,
543
00:26:12,200 --> 00:26:14,960
the home of Team GB's
elite shooting squad.
544
00:26:15,000 --> 00:26:17,400
It feels like,
if there was something
545
00:26:17,440 --> 00:26:20,160
that we've got an untapped skill in,
it could be this.
546
00:26:20,200 --> 00:26:22,480
We'd be trained by Olympic hopefuls
547
00:26:22,520 --> 00:26:25,280
Aaron Heading
and Georgina Roberts...
548
00:26:26,480 --> 00:26:28,840
-Hi, you all right?
-You all right?
-Hello.
-Hiya.
549
00:26:28,880 --> 00:26:32,720
..who are on hand to introduce us
to our little friends.
550
00:26:32,760 --> 00:26:34,600
These are what
we will be using today,
551
00:26:34,640 --> 00:26:37,000
which is just
an over and under 12-bore.
552
00:26:37,040 --> 00:26:39,280
You've never used
one of these before, have you?
553
00:26:39,320 --> 00:26:41,520
No, never.
It's gonna be a surprise for you.
554
00:26:41,560 --> 00:26:44,760
I have done clay pigeon shooting
before, but hungover on a stag do.
555
00:26:44,800 --> 00:26:48,000
I've played a lot of Call Of Duty
over lockdown.
556
00:26:48,040 --> 00:26:49,720
And I'm pretty good at that.
557
00:26:49,760 --> 00:26:52,360
That's more controller than gun,
but it's all the same.
558
00:26:52,400 --> 00:26:55,000
It's exactly the same.
This could be your calling card.
559
00:26:55,040 --> 00:26:57,960
-You know?
-So, you do have to be
physically fit to do it?
560
00:26:58,000 --> 00:26:59,880
Just a good general condition.
561
00:26:59,920 --> 00:27:02,520
OK? We haven't got to run marathons
to keep fit.
562
00:27:02,560 --> 00:27:05,280
You're not doing cardio.
You're not running marathons?
563
00:27:05,320 --> 00:27:08,040
No. No. So this must be a tick
on your box.
564
00:27:08,080 --> 00:27:10,040
Yeah, exactly.
That's why we're here.
565
00:27:10,080 --> 00:27:14,320
So, no marathons,
but really good general fitness.
566
00:27:14,360 --> 00:27:16,720
Looking at the professionals,
it gives me hope.
567
00:27:16,760 --> 00:27:19,480
So, hopefully, Aaron can lead me
and Rom to Olympic glory.
568
00:27:19,520 --> 00:27:22,640
Paris, here we come. Only two hours
away. It's worth a go, in it?
569
00:27:22,680 --> 00:27:26,120
So, are you ready to try some guns?
Yes, we were.
570
00:27:26,160 --> 00:27:28,200
Wow.
How does it feel?
571
00:27:28,240 --> 00:27:31,160
Powerful. Now I've got it in my hand,
I just want to go to town.
572
00:27:31,200 --> 00:27:33,880
Go to town, walk into a Tesco's,
everybody hit the floor.
573
00:27:33,920 --> 00:27:36,840
Yes. Yeah.
Wouldn't do that.
574
00:27:36,880 --> 00:27:38,720
You wouldn't do that.
No. No.
575
00:27:38,760 --> 00:27:40,480
Instead of doing a heist...
576
00:27:40,520 --> 00:27:42,360
Let's do this.
After you.
577
00:27:42,400 --> 00:27:44,240
..we decided to shoot some clays.
578
00:27:45,200 --> 00:27:47,520
Right after we dropped
into the gift shop.
579
00:27:47,560 --> 00:27:49,680
♪ THE STOOGES: I Wanna Be Your Dog
580
00:27:55,120 --> 00:27:59,000
♪ Now I wanna be your dog
581
00:27:59,040 --> 00:28:04,080
♪ Now I wanna be your dog
Come on ♪
582
00:28:04,120 --> 00:28:05,800
(CHUCKLES)
I'm feeling it.
583
00:28:05,840 --> 00:28:07,680
Do you wanna be careful
with that thing?
584
00:28:07,720 --> 00:28:09,720
You are swinging it around
like a lunatic.
585
00:28:09,760 --> 00:28:12,560
All right. I'll do the little -
Adopt the safety position.
586
00:28:12,600 --> 00:28:15,000
The handbag hold.
Are we gonna fire real bullets?
587
00:28:15,040 --> 00:28:17,400
Are they bullets?
Is that what they're called?
588
00:28:17,440 --> 00:28:19,280
Is it blanks?
It can't be real bullets.
589
00:28:19,320 --> 00:28:21,440
Like, shoot you
in the stomach bullet, can it?
590
00:28:21,480 --> 00:28:23,440
What's a shoot you
in the stomach bullet?
591
00:28:23,480 --> 00:28:25,160
Like...
(GROANING)
592
00:28:25,200 --> 00:28:27,200
You know what I mean?
It's not like... Yeah.
593
00:28:27,240 --> 00:28:29,600
I'm sure it will be,
"That was loud, but is it real?"
594
00:28:29,640 --> 00:28:31,680
No, I think it will hurt
and kill you if you -
595
00:28:31,720 --> 00:28:35,120
Yeah. Well, let's not do that.
Also, I'm not a big fan of clay.
596
00:28:35,160 --> 00:28:37,320
What do you mean?
I'm from South-East London.
597
00:28:37,360 --> 00:28:40,240
That's why there's no tube network,
the ground is too clay-y.
598
00:28:40,280 --> 00:28:41,960
So that always frustrated me.
599
00:28:42,000 --> 00:28:44,640
I've always had
that regional hatred towards clay.
600
00:28:44,680 --> 00:28:48,000
You never fail to surprise me with
the things you're passionate about.
601
00:28:48,040 --> 00:28:49,720
I hate clay.
I never thought -
602
00:28:49,760 --> 00:28:52,360
Oh, mate, the issues I've had
with subsidence.
603
00:28:52,400 --> 00:28:54,520
I'll have you know,
it's a silent killer.
604
00:28:54,560 --> 00:28:57,440
It's like the Japanese knotweed
of South-East London.
605
00:28:57,480 --> 00:28:59,640
Should we go shoot the shit
out of some stuff?
606
00:28:59,680 --> 00:29:03,200
I just wanna bruck up some clay now.
Me too. Clay is gonna get mush-up.
607
00:29:03,240 --> 00:29:05,520
Mandem gonna destroy, brap!
608
00:29:05,560 --> 00:29:07,920
Pigeons gonna get mash-up
all over the place.
609
00:29:07,960 --> 00:29:10,480
Gonna splash pigeon in the head.
(LAUGHTER)
610
00:29:14,320 --> 00:29:18,600
We'd be starting at the novice stand
and Aaron showed us how it was done.
611
00:29:18,640 --> 00:29:20,520
Good luck, mate.
Thank you.
612
00:29:20,560 --> 00:29:23,440
It'd be embarrassing
if you didn't get it, as an Olympian.
613
00:29:23,480 --> 00:29:25,240
I am shitting myself.
614
00:29:26,520 --> 00:29:28,280
Pull.
615
00:29:28,320 --> 00:29:30,840
(GUNSHOT / CHEERING)
Ah.
616
00:29:33,160 --> 00:29:34,840
Just like that.
Well, that was cool.
617
00:29:34,880 --> 00:29:37,120
Blowing the smoke
out the end of your shotgun.
618
00:29:37,160 --> 00:29:40,000
-Yeah.
-Oh, I like the smell.
It's like firework night.
619
00:29:40,040 --> 00:29:42,360
It's beautiful, innit?
Sorry, I was a bit loud.
620
00:29:42,400 --> 00:29:44,920
(ALL LAUGH)
Yeah, it's beautiful, innit?!
621
00:29:44,960 --> 00:29:47,200
Right. Who's going first?
622
00:29:47,240 --> 00:29:49,320
Go on, Beckett.
Do you want me to go first?
623
00:29:49,360 --> 00:29:52,040
Yeah, cos I'm scared.
OK. All right, I'll go first.
624
00:29:52,080 --> 00:29:53,840
Come on over.
625
00:29:53,880 --> 00:29:55,680
I have to admit it,
I was nervous too.
626
00:29:55,720 --> 00:29:58,240
Here we go. Let's do this.
HIGH-PITCHED: Pull!
627
00:30:00,120 --> 00:30:02,440
-Did I get it?
-No.
What do you mean, did you get it?
628
00:30:02,480 --> 00:30:04,680
My aim wasn't Olympic standard
either.
629
00:30:04,720 --> 00:30:06,840
HIGH-PITCHED: Pull!
(GUNSHOT)
630
00:30:06,880 --> 00:30:08,680
Pull!
(GUNSHOT)
631
00:30:08,720 --> 00:30:10,640
-Agh!
-Whoa.
Rob, can I ask you?
632
00:30:10,680 --> 00:30:12,520
Why do you keep saying pull
like that?
633
00:30:12,560 --> 00:30:14,320
Your voice keeps breaking. "Pull!"
634
00:30:14,360 --> 00:30:16,680
You sound like
you've just gone through puberty.
635
00:30:16,720 --> 00:30:18,920
You sound distressed.
Cos I'm really nervous.
636
00:30:18,960 --> 00:30:20,640
(LAUGHTER)
637
00:30:20,680 --> 00:30:22,760
I thought,
"Did I imagine it the first time?"
638
00:30:22,800 --> 00:30:25,280
Then three times in a row,
you've gone, "Pull!"
639
00:30:25,320 --> 00:30:27,040
OK, I'll try -
640
00:30:27,080 --> 00:30:29,800
Just work on the pull.
Everything else is good.
641
00:30:29,840 --> 00:30:31,600
Pull.
(LAUGHTER)
642
00:30:32,760 --> 00:30:34,560
(GUNSHOT)
Absolutely no chance.
643
00:30:34,600 --> 00:30:38,600
My eyes are all over the gaff.
I just can't...aim.
644
00:30:38,640 --> 00:30:42,000
So, what this seems to be
is a slight eye dominance issue.
645
00:30:42,040 --> 00:30:43,760
I'm struggling with the eyes.
646
00:30:43,800 --> 00:30:46,960
I can't shut the left one.
Which is integral.
647
00:30:47,000 --> 00:30:50,880
It's as important as that.
I don't know what I'm gonna do.
648
00:30:50,920 --> 00:30:53,480
It's like, I might as well
just have both eyes shut.
649
00:30:53,520 --> 00:30:55,200
I might do that the next one.
650
00:30:55,240 --> 00:30:57,880
I know we are playing fast and loose
with safety, but...
651
00:30:57,920 --> 00:31:01,360
All right. OK.
Sure, Mr Health and Safety.
652
00:31:01,400 --> 00:31:04,000
Where's your high-vision, nerd?
(LAUGHTER)
653
00:31:04,040 --> 00:31:06,120
If I want to shoot blind,
I will shoot blind.
654
00:31:06,160 --> 00:31:07,960
(LAUGHTER / GUN COCKING)
Thank you.
655
00:31:08,000 --> 00:31:10,000
Oh, shit.
Oh, yeah, forgot that bit.
656
00:31:10,040 --> 00:31:11,760
(LAUGHTER)
657
00:31:11,800 --> 00:31:13,720
If you're having problems
with vision,
658
00:31:13,760 --> 00:31:16,560
I don't know what's gonna happen
when I step up there.
659
00:31:16,600 --> 00:31:19,720
We only picked this because
we thought we might be able to do it
660
00:31:19,760 --> 00:31:21,960
and our eyes are gone.
(CHUCKLES)
661
00:31:22,000 --> 00:31:24,240
Rob, try with a bit of card
behind your glasses.
662
00:31:24,280 --> 00:31:26,760
-OK.
-That should just block
that vision for this shot.
663
00:31:26,800 --> 00:31:28,480
Confidence is up now.
664
00:31:28,520 --> 00:31:31,200
You can see it, can't you?
It should be. You look the part.
665
00:31:31,240 --> 00:31:33,120
Hey. Oh, that's better.
Perfect.
666
00:31:33,160 --> 00:31:35,160
I feel confident now.
He's ready.
667
00:31:35,200 --> 00:31:37,280
Do I look like an Olympian?
You look great.
668
00:31:37,320 --> 00:31:39,520
Yeah. Good luck.
669
00:31:39,560 --> 00:31:41,600
Right, OK. Pull!
670
00:31:41,640 --> 00:31:44,760
(GUNSHOT / CHEERING)
Come on!
671
00:31:44,800 --> 00:31:48,160
It turns out, Rob,
without the home-made eyepatch,
672
00:31:48,200 --> 00:31:50,600
absolute dog shit
at clay pigeon shooting.
673
00:31:50,640 --> 00:31:52,320
Pull.
(GUNSHOT)
674
00:31:52,360 --> 00:31:54,920
Smashed it.
OK. This isn't good news.
675
00:31:54,960 --> 00:31:57,920
When he put that little sliver
of card in, he becomes a demon.
676
00:31:57,960 --> 00:32:00,600
Pull. Yes!
677
00:32:00,640 --> 00:32:02,400
How cool do I look now?
678
00:32:02,440 --> 00:32:04,480
It's an incredible transformation.
679
00:32:05,600 --> 00:32:08,160
I was very good,
considering I'm a complete novice,
680
00:32:08,200 --> 00:32:09,880
so, with your experience...
681
00:32:09,920 --> 00:32:12,760
I knew you were gonna do that.
Let's see what you can do, Rom.
682
00:32:12,800 --> 00:32:14,880
Under pressure.
OK, let's do it.
683
00:32:16,200 --> 00:32:18,840
Rob hadn't exactly
lowered the stakes.
684
00:32:18,880 --> 00:32:21,080
OK. Pull.
Go on, Rom.
685
00:32:21,120 --> 00:32:22,880
Underneath. Go on.
686
00:32:22,920 --> 00:32:24,720
(GUNSHOT)
There you go!
687
00:32:24,760 --> 00:32:26,800
Come on!
I don't know how you hit that one.
688
00:32:26,840 --> 00:32:30,480
I thought he bottled it.
No, no. That was impressive.
689
00:32:31,360 --> 00:32:33,080
Feels good.
It does, doesn't it?
690
00:32:33,120 --> 00:32:35,880
It feels really good.
Look at his little face. His smile.
691
00:32:35,920 --> 00:32:39,520
As soon as you hit that first clay,
oh, mate.
692
00:32:39,560 --> 00:32:41,560
All right, let's try
and get two in a row.
693
00:32:41,600 --> 00:32:43,480
Smooth like butter. Pull.
694
00:32:44,360 --> 00:32:47,400
(GUNSHOT)
-Two out of two!
-Yeah!
695
00:32:47,440 --> 00:32:49,800
I was buzzing, mate.
Absolutely buzzing.
696
00:32:49,840 --> 00:32:52,400
Pull.
Underneath.
697
00:32:53,480 --> 00:32:55,360
(GUNSHOT / CHEERING)
698
00:32:55,400 --> 00:32:57,240
Come on!
Right up.
699
00:32:57,280 --> 00:32:58,960
Another.
700
00:32:59,000 --> 00:33:01,280
Yes! You're an animal!
You're an animal!
701
00:33:01,320 --> 00:33:03,480
Another.
(GUNSHOT / CHEERING)
702
00:33:04,400 --> 00:33:06,640
Another.
Yes!
703
00:33:06,680 --> 00:33:08,360
Come on!
704
00:33:09,320 --> 00:33:11,000
(LAUGHTER)
705
00:33:11,040 --> 00:33:13,360
It was incredible. Oh, yes!
706
00:33:13,400 --> 00:33:15,480
Gotta do ten. Ten in a row.
Gotta do ten.
707
00:33:15,520 --> 00:33:17,560
How many was that?
That was nine.
708
00:33:17,600 --> 00:33:20,000
Oh, I don't wanna ruin it.
(LAUGHTER)
709
00:33:20,040 --> 00:33:22,440
Go on. We believe in you.
You can do it.
710
00:33:22,480 --> 00:33:25,760
Ten in a row. Here we go.
OK.
711
00:33:25,800 --> 00:33:27,480
Yeah.
Pull.
712
00:33:30,800 --> 00:33:33,200
Yes!
Come on!
713
00:33:33,240 --> 00:33:34,920
Ten in a row.
Ten, baby!
714
00:33:34,960 --> 00:33:37,600
You found your sport.
I can't believe this is happening.
715
00:33:37,640 --> 00:33:39,640
This is for all you pricks
that doubted me.
716
00:33:39,680 --> 00:33:41,360
(LAUGHTER)
717
00:33:41,400 --> 00:33:43,880
It turns out Romesh is incredible
at shooting.
718
00:33:43,920 --> 00:33:46,600
Yes! Come on!
719
00:33:46,640 --> 00:33:49,320
The one-eyed bandit
destroyed those clays.
720
00:33:50,320 --> 00:33:52,800
Legend. Smoked it.
He actually smoked it.
721
00:33:52,840 --> 00:33:55,440
He smoked it. I don't know
what that means, but he did it.
722
00:33:55,480 --> 00:33:57,400
Yes, Romesh.
Whoo!
723
00:33:57,440 --> 00:33:59,120
You're smoking it, mate.
Whoo!
724
00:33:59,160 --> 00:34:00,880
You found your calling, mate.
725
00:34:00,920 --> 00:34:03,440
What's weird is the eye
that you use, it feels like...
726
00:34:03,480 --> 00:34:05,800
I'm doing it with a curtain
being drawn across it.
727
00:34:05,840 --> 00:34:08,080
Maybe that's why
you are doing it so much lower.
728
00:34:08,120 --> 00:34:11,000
That is why.
I'm doing it as soon as I see it.
729
00:34:12,640 --> 00:34:15,120
It's like,
"There's no clay. There it is!"
730
00:34:16,040 --> 00:34:20,720
Our entire friendship,
Rob has derived joy
731
00:34:20,760 --> 00:34:22,880
and banter from my eye.
732
00:34:22,920 --> 00:34:26,960
To turn up here and find out that
it's his eye that's the problem...
733
00:34:27,000 --> 00:34:29,640
This is one of the greatest
experiences of my life.
734
00:34:29,680 --> 00:34:32,280
Let's now go on and do what we do.
735
00:34:32,320 --> 00:34:35,040
Shall we leave this one
and go and do the Olympic track?
736
00:34:35,080 --> 00:34:37,640
OK, let's do this.
We are going to the Olympics.
737
00:34:37,680 --> 00:34:39,360
(LAUGHTER)
738
00:34:49,680 --> 00:34:52,160
Rom and I are on a journey
with Team GB.
739
00:34:53,400 --> 00:34:55,080
Yes! He's an animal!
740
00:34:55,120 --> 00:34:58,840
So far, it looked like Rom had
finally found his sporting talent.
741
00:34:58,880 --> 00:35:00,880
Come on!
You found your calling, mate.
742
00:35:00,920 --> 00:35:03,080
This is for all you pricks
that doubted me.
743
00:35:04,520 --> 00:35:07,800
But now it was time for us to step up
to the Olympic track.
744
00:35:07,840 --> 00:35:10,880
So, when you shoot,
the target will cross underneath it,
745
00:35:10,920 --> 00:35:13,360
so you will be able to see it
when it comes out.
746
00:35:13,400 --> 00:35:15,360
To see if we truly had what it takes,
747
00:35:15,400 --> 00:35:17,200
we'd have to shoot our clays
748
00:35:17,240 --> 00:35:20,920
slung randomly from any
of the 15 concealed tracks.
749
00:35:20,960 --> 00:35:22,640
When you call pull, you don't know
750
00:35:22,680 --> 00:35:24,880
if you're gonna get
a left, a centre or a right.
751
00:35:24,920 --> 00:35:27,440
This was it. Record in time.
752
00:35:27,480 --> 00:35:30,240
That pigeon got powdered,
you little powdered bitch.
753
00:35:30,280 --> 00:35:32,600
Could I beat Rom
in the final showdown?
754
00:35:34,880 --> 00:35:37,840
OK, guys. Let's go into a shootout.
A shootout?
755
00:35:37,880 --> 00:35:40,720
Three shots each.
Let's see who wins.
756
00:35:40,760 --> 00:35:43,000
Eyepatch.
Good luck, Beckles.
757
00:35:43,040 --> 00:35:46,640
That's not your cardboard thing,
that's a label from your clothes.
758
00:35:46,680 --> 00:35:48,520
(LAUGHTER)
759
00:35:48,560 --> 00:35:51,000
Is that your first time
wearing that outfit?
760
00:35:51,040 --> 00:35:53,520
I've got so many pockets.
761
00:35:53,560 --> 00:35:56,080
I can't take it back now.
Perfect.
762
00:35:56,120 --> 00:35:58,040
Good luck, Robby.
763
00:35:58,080 --> 00:35:59,760
Thanks, baby.
764
00:36:00,880 --> 00:36:02,880
Close your legs.
(LAUGHTER)
765
00:36:04,320 --> 00:36:07,960
I can stand how I want.
Just relax. Just relax.
766
00:36:08,000 --> 00:36:10,720
Just relax. Don't...
767
00:36:10,760 --> 00:36:12,440
Pull!
768
00:36:13,480 --> 00:36:15,640
(ALL CHEERING)
Robby!
769
00:36:15,680 --> 00:36:17,360
That's...
Incredible.
770
00:36:17,400 --> 00:36:19,280
..Olympic level, yeah?
(CHUCKLES)
771
00:36:19,320 --> 00:36:22,200
I am really worried.
I'm popping pigeon powder...
772
00:36:22,240 --> 00:36:24,760
(LAUGHTER)
..at the Olympic level.
773
00:36:24,800 --> 00:36:26,840
Yeah. You are.
I cannot believe that.
774
00:36:26,880 --> 00:36:30,280
Go on. Off you go, Rommy.
Right, OK. Pressure's on now.
775
00:36:30,320 --> 00:36:32,800
I'm not having this little prick.
No pressure.
776
00:36:32,840 --> 00:36:35,200
No presh, mate.
You have to hit it.
777
00:36:35,240 --> 00:36:37,800
OK. Pull.
Shoot it.
778
00:36:37,840 --> 00:36:40,080
Yes! Come on!
You hit it!
779
00:36:40,120 --> 00:36:42,600
Yes, Romesh!
He hit it.
780
00:36:42,640 --> 00:36:44,320
That was brilliant.
(BLOWS AIR)
781
00:36:44,360 --> 00:36:46,600
OK, cool.
-So far you're both on one.
-Yeah.
782
00:36:47,960 --> 00:36:49,720
(LAUGHTER)
783
00:36:49,760 --> 00:36:51,600
He's pissing me off now.
784
00:36:51,640 --> 00:36:53,640
Don't worry.
Pull.
785
00:36:55,320 --> 00:36:57,840
(LAUGHTER)
786
00:36:57,880 --> 00:37:01,280
Mad Dog Beckett on the shooting.
(LAUGHTER)
787
00:37:01,320 --> 00:37:04,320
Bollocks.
No pressure, Romesh. No pressure.
788
00:37:04,360 --> 00:37:06,320
The old trustee!
789
00:37:06,360 --> 00:37:08,880
Surely that eyepatch is illegal.
(LAUGHTER)
790
00:37:08,920 --> 00:37:10,760
It's a performance-enhancing drug.
791
00:37:12,320 --> 00:37:14,520
OK. Pull.
Go.
792
00:37:14,560 --> 00:37:17,480
-Yes!
-Yes!
-Come on!
-Yes!
793
00:37:17,520 --> 00:37:19,360
Did you hit it?
He hit it, yeah.
794
00:37:19,400 --> 00:37:21,600
Whoo!
Oh, no, he didn't.
795
00:37:21,640 --> 00:37:23,960
He barely skimmed it.
What are you talking about?
796
00:37:24,000 --> 00:37:26,120
He hit that. Honestly, he hit it.
797
00:37:26,160 --> 00:37:27,840
OK.
He hit it. He hit it.
798
00:37:27,880 --> 00:37:30,320
They're saying it.
I didn't see nothing, mate.
799
00:37:30,360 --> 00:37:32,920
I didn't see no powder.
Take your patch off and watch.
800
00:37:32,960 --> 00:37:36,440
I didn't see no powder.
OK, boys. Now it's sudden death.
801
00:37:36,480 --> 00:37:38,440
Go on, then, Becks.
Good luck, Romesh.
802
00:37:38,480 --> 00:37:40,480
Hope the best guy wins.
(CHUCKLES)
803
00:37:43,560 --> 00:37:45,280
Pull.
804
00:37:49,760 --> 00:37:51,840
Ohhhh!
Oh, too soon.
805
00:37:51,880 --> 00:37:55,320
Got too excited.
Powder-free.
806
00:37:57,960 --> 00:38:01,320
Romesh, this is your time.
I'm ready. Don't worry about that.
807
00:38:01,360 --> 00:38:03,040
He's not scared.
808
00:38:06,160 --> 00:38:07,840
Pull.
809
00:38:08,720 --> 00:38:11,480
Ohhhh.
Shit-house.
810
00:38:12,800 --> 00:38:16,120
Keep going. Go on, Rob.
811
00:38:16,160 --> 00:38:19,360
Eyepatch. Perfect. Safety off.
812
00:38:19,400 --> 00:38:21,080
Pull.
813
00:38:21,120 --> 00:38:25,680
Yes! The pigeon powder!
He's back.
814
00:38:25,720 --> 00:38:28,640
You see it? You see the powder?
Sudden death, Romesh.
815
00:38:28,680 --> 00:38:30,880
Big boy stuff.
He's got it in the locker?
816
00:38:32,520 --> 00:38:34,560
He can only hit on a sad,
we know that.
817
00:38:34,600 --> 00:38:36,280
(CHUCKLES)
He can only -
818
00:38:36,320 --> 00:38:39,080
Shut up!
Lean forward and go for it.
819
00:38:39,960 --> 00:38:42,200
OK.
(EXHALES)
820
00:38:43,800 --> 00:38:45,480
Pull.
821
00:38:50,240 --> 00:38:52,280
Ohhhh!
We have a winner.
822
00:38:53,200 --> 00:38:55,040
Good game, Romesh.
823
00:38:55,920 --> 00:38:58,800
I had half an hour
thinking I was good at something.
824
00:38:58,840 --> 00:39:01,280
You was good at something,
just not as good as me.
825
00:39:01,320 --> 00:39:04,280
Romesh, considering,
you did really well, mate.
826
00:39:04,320 --> 00:39:07,120
All things considered.
All things considered...
827
00:39:08,080 --> 00:39:10,360
..you did amazing.
You did really, really well.
828
00:39:10,400 --> 00:39:12,600
We still hit
Olympic standard targets, Rom.
829
00:39:12,640 --> 00:39:14,320
Yeah. Definitely.
Both of us.
830
00:39:14,360 --> 00:39:17,040
Sure, me more than you.
Let's not get bogged down by that.
831
00:39:17,080 --> 00:39:20,200
We both hit Olympic standard targets.
Roll on, Paris.
832
00:39:20,240 --> 00:39:23,320
To be fair, I know you both did
really, really well at sporting.
833
00:39:23,360 --> 00:39:25,200
But this is another level,
834
00:39:25,240 --> 00:39:28,400
so the fact that you hit anything
is amazing.
835
00:39:28,440 --> 00:39:31,000
Really proud of us.
Romesh, we're good at something.
836
00:39:31,040 --> 00:39:33,120
I know. It's incredible.
It feels weird.
837
00:39:34,000 --> 00:39:36,200
Now, when we started this...
Yeah.
838
00:39:36,240 --> 00:39:39,000
..and we were talking about
what sports we were gonna do
839
00:39:39,040 --> 00:39:41,960
and we were gonna find something
we might be Olympians at...
840
00:39:42,000 --> 00:39:43,960
Yep.
..I thought we were joking.
841
00:39:44,000 --> 00:39:45,680
Yeah, yeah, I just thought,
842
00:39:45,720 --> 00:39:48,760
"We'll be crap at everything,
but it will fill an episode."
843
00:39:48,800 --> 00:39:52,120
At the end, we'd go, "Olympians
really are good at what they do."
844
00:39:52,160 --> 00:39:53,960
Yeah. "We've got no chance."
845
00:39:54,000 --> 00:39:55,720
But it turns out...
We have.
846
00:39:55,760 --> 00:39:58,920
..we're a pair
of clay pigeon shooting bastards.
847
00:39:58,960 --> 00:40:00,840
Oh, my God.
Aren't we?
848
00:40:00,880 --> 00:40:03,000
-Yeah.
-Bang.
Yeah. Instinct.
849
00:40:03,040 --> 00:40:04,960
Pigeon powder.
That's what it is. Yeah.
850
00:40:05,000 --> 00:40:07,680
Opened her up.
Boom. Powder. Boom. Powder.
851
00:40:07,720 --> 00:40:09,440
Thank you. Ten in a row.
852
00:40:09,480 --> 00:40:12,040
Ten in a row.
Oh, my God.
853
00:40:12,080 --> 00:40:15,120
Yes, it was the practice range
for kids, but still, ten in a row.
854
00:40:15,160 --> 00:40:16,920
He hit it on the sag. Bang.
855
00:40:16,960 --> 00:40:19,080
Hit on the apex?
No, thank you, mate.
856
00:40:19,120 --> 00:40:21,960
I'm gonna hit it where my lazy eye
allows me to see it.
857
00:40:22,000 --> 00:40:24,720
The old eyelid got in the way
of that one. There it is. Bang.
858
00:40:24,760 --> 00:40:27,480
When the eyelid curtain reveals,
I will pull the trigger.
859
00:40:27,520 --> 00:40:30,280
HIGH-PITCHED: Pull!
That's got to be sorted, though.
860
00:40:30,320 --> 00:40:33,440
It sounded like they had
your family hostage and they said,
861
00:40:33,480 --> 00:40:35,960
"If you don't hit this clay,
we'll kill them all."
862
00:40:36,000 --> 00:40:38,360
Yeah.
That's what it sounded like. "Pull!"
863
00:40:38,400 --> 00:40:40,080
Yeah. I'll work on that.
864
00:40:40,120 --> 00:40:42,320
But when you are covered
in pigeon powder dust,
865
00:40:42,360 --> 00:40:45,400
who cares what you sound like?
It affects your voice, doesn't it?
866
00:40:45,440 --> 00:40:48,200
Who would have thought
that it'd be you with the eyepatch?
867
00:40:48,240 --> 00:40:50,320
I know. I'm nicking your act.
868
00:40:50,360 --> 00:40:52,240
They'll get us confused.
869
00:40:52,280 --> 00:40:54,120
Only two eyes between them.
870
00:40:58,160 --> 00:41:02,040
Two painful weeks had passed since
we'd shortlisted the Olympic events
871
00:41:02,080 --> 00:41:04,000
that we thought we could master.
872
00:41:04,040 --> 00:41:06,120
There it is. Our future.
873
00:41:06,160 --> 00:41:08,560
We might be joining the Olympics.
874
00:41:08,600 --> 00:41:11,440
It hadn't been easy.
(LAUGHTER)
875
00:41:11,480 --> 00:41:14,320
First, we took to the water
for the canoe slalom...
876
00:41:14,360 --> 00:41:16,040
Where is that prick?
877
00:41:16,080 --> 00:41:18,600
..and quickly found ourselves
out of our depth.
878
00:41:18,640 --> 00:41:20,560
Oh, shit!
879
00:41:20,600 --> 00:41:22,600
Undeterred...
Tornado!
880
00:41:22,640 --> 00:41:26,080
..next we headed to the gym
to try weightlifting.
881
00:41:26,120 --> 00:41:28,920
Which, to be fair,
wasn't our finest hour.
882
00:41:28,960 --> 00:41:30,640
I hate it.
883
00:41:30,680 --> 00:41:33,880
But just when things
looked their bleakest...
884
00:41:33,920 --> 00:41:36,760
I discovered I had some talent
in goal on the hockey team.
885
00:41:36,800 --> 00:41:39,120
(CHEERING AND LAUGHTER)
886
00:41:39,160 --> 00:41:41,000
Come on!
887
00:41:41,040 --> 00:41:44,200
And for once,
Rob was left speechless.
888
00:41:44,240 --> 00:41:46,560
See you later, loser!
889
00:41:46,600 --> 00:41:51,000
Feeling confident, next we tried
our hands at gymnastics,
890
00:41:51,040 --> 00:41:53,240
with truly pathetic results.
891
00:41:53,280 --> 00:41:55,160
Maybe gymnastics isn't your thing.
892
00:41:55,200 --> 00:41:57,840
Then we took to the field
in what we were hoping
893
00:41:57,880 --> 00:42:00,040
would be a clean sweep
of the fat sports.
894
00:42:00,080 --> 00:42:03,120
(SCREAMS)
Rob had shown some early promise.
895
00:42:03,160 --> 00:42:05,280
I have no words. That's fantastic.
896
00:42:05,320 --> 00:42:08,160
But, unbelievably, it turns out...
897
00:42:08,200 --> 00:42:10,440
Pull. Yes!
898
00:42:10,480 --> 00:42:12,800
..we were born to shoot.
Shoot it.
899
00:42:12,840 --> 00:42:14,520
Come on!
900
00:42:14,560 --> 00:42:17,560
Popping Olympic clay pigeon powder
was our calling.
901
00:42:17,600 --> 00:42:20,200
Would you like a drink?
I would love a drink, please.
902
00:42:20,240 --> 00:42:22,400
Now we had wrapped up
our sporting journey...
903
00:42:22,440 --> 00:42:24,400
Beer?
..we headed to Rob's man cave...
904
00:42:24,440 --> 00:42:27,520
(GRUNTS) ..where he said
he had a surprise in store.
905
00:42:27,560 --> 00:42:30,680
So, we found our sport.
Yeah. We have found our sport.
906
00:42:30,720 --> 00:42:33,000
To celebrate, I got you a present.
Shut your eyes.
907
00:42:33,040 --> 00:42:35,360
This is a little present
to say well done
908
00:42:35,400 --> 00:42:37,560
on us finding our sport.
909
00:42:37,600 --> 00:42:39,600
Open 'em up.
(LAUGHS)
910
00:42:41,240 --> 00:42:43,160
I got you a gun.
911
00:42:44,080 --> 00:42:47,280
So, now, on the weekend,
shoot the shit out of clay.
912
00:42:47,320 --> 00:42:49,840
Have we really got guns?
The bloke sorted me out a deal.
913
00:42:49,880 --> 00:42:51,760
The geezer at the shooting place?
Yeah.
914
00:42:51,800 --> 00:42:53,840
He had two knocking about.
What do you mean?
915
00:42:53,880 --> 00:42:55,840
My uncle had some,
but his stopped there.
916
00:42:55,880 --> 00:42:58,080
My uncle got robbed
by someone with one of them.
917
00:42:58,120 --> 00:43:00,040
Let's put them away
until we need them.
918
00:43:00,080 --> 00:43:03,280
But yeah.
So, what happens, then?
919
00:43:03,320 --> 00:43:07,040
If I have a break-in,
I phone you and say to the burglar,
920
00:43:07,080 --> 00:43:08,880
"Wait there
cos in 45 minutes to an hour
921
00:43:08,920 --> 00:43:11,200
you're gonna be really sorry
you've turned up."
922
00:43:11,240 --> 00:43:14,360
I'd break the speed limit
if you had a burglar, so a half hour.
923
00:43:14,400 --> 00:43:16,400
One of the nicest things
you've ever said.
924
00:43:16,440 --> 00:43:19,640
That's the key to my guns.
Why are you saying it like that?
925
00:43:19,680 --> 00:43:21,480
Cos I've never had a key to guns.
926
00:43:21,520 --> 00:43:23,760
This key is to my gun cabinet.
(LAUGHS)
927
00:43:23,800 --> 00:43:27,520
Front door, back door, gun cabinet.
Welcome.
928
00:43:28,840 --> 00:43:31,000
Yeah, that ruined it at the end.
Yeah.
929
00:43:32,000 --> 00:43:36,040
More good news. We're signed up for
the British qualifiers for shooting.
930
00:43:37,120 --> 00:43:39,600
Yeah, I'm not going to that.
931
00:44:05,000 --> 00:44:07,120
AccessibleCustomerService@sky.uk
73716
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.