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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:24,400 --> 00:00:27,400 >> SHE'S A LESBIAN BY THE WAY. 2 00:00:27,400 --> 00:00:31,100 [LAUGHTER] 3 00:00:31,100 --> 00:00:43,600 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 4 00:00:43,600 --> 00:00:45,270 >> NOTHING A GIRLFRIEND'S TONGUE 5 00:00:45,267 --> 00:00:45,927 WON'T HEAL. 6 00:00:45,933 --> 00:00:48,803 WELCOME TO "TOSH.0." 7 00:00:48,800 --> 00:00:52,770 HAVE NO FEAR, TONIGHT MY HANDS 8 00:00:52,767 --> 00:00:55,627 ARE COVERED IN CASHMERE. 9 00:00:55,633 --> 00:00:57,773 NOT MY FINGER TIPS LIKE THE 10 00:00:57,767 --> 00:01:00,197 WORLD'S FANSIEST HOBO AND THE 11 00:01:00,200 --> 00:01:02,230 SKYLINE IS COLUMBIA, SOUTH 12 00:01:02,233 --> 00:01:03,733 CAROLINA. 13 00:01:03,733 --> 00:01:04,473 BREATHTAKING. 14 00:01:04,467 --> 00:01:05,827 IF YOU LOOK CLOSELY YOU CAN SEE 15 00:01:05,833 --> 00:01:07,333 THE BALL COACH CRYING ABOUT 16 00:01:07,333 --> 00:01:08,673 ANOTHER MEDIOCRE SEASON. 17 00:01:08,667 --> 00:01:10,727 I LAWYER UP FOR THIS GUY'S 18 00:01:10,733 --> 00:01:12,273 REDEMPTION AND PLAY IT'S RACEST 19 00:01:12,267 --> 00:01:13,727 THOUGH WE ALL KNOW IT WILL BE 20 00:01:13,733 --> 00:01:16,673 AND REJOICE IN THE FACT THAT MY 21 00:01:16,667 --> 00:01:19,067 CONSEQUENCES HAVE GONE GLOBAL. 22 00:01:19,067 --> 00:01:21,067 NOW LET'S WATCH THAT GIRL 23 00:01:21,067 --> 00:01:22,267 SCISSOR HER CHAIR AGAIN. 24 00:01:22,267 --> 00:01:24,627 >> HE'S A LESBIAN BY THE WAY. 25 00:01:24,633 --> 00:01:28,673 >> THAT PATIO FURNITURE HAS GONE 26 00:01:28,667 --> 00:01:31,527 WHERE NO MAN HAS GONE BEFORE. 27 00:01:31,533 --> 00:01:33,073 SHE'S FINE. 28 00:01:33,067 --> 00:01:34,797 THE GAYS HAVE LESS FEELING IN 29 00:01:34,800 --> 00:01:36,930 THEIR VAGINAS. 30 00:01:36,933 --> 00:01:40,103 ALL RIGHT, IF SHE GETS BACK ON 31 00:01:40,100 --> 00:01:42,370 HER POGO STICK AND DOES IT TWO 32 00:01:42,367 --> 00:01:47,467 MORE TIMES SHE'LL BE CURED OF 33 00:01:47,467 --> 00:01:48,067 LESBIANISM. 34 00:01:48,067 --> 00:01:51,197 THIS GUY WANT TO BE LEFT ALONE. 35 00:01:51,200 --> 00:01:56,700 >> HE FACING SERIOUS CHARGES AND 36 00:01:56,700 --> 00:02:01,070 BACK IN A NEW PLACE WHERE PEOPLE 37 00:02:01,067 --> 00:02:01,667 DON'T KNOW 38 00:02:01,667 --> 00:02:02,127 YOU 39 00:02:02,133 --> 00:02:04,973 >> DON'T YOU DARE TEMPT TO GO IN 40 00:02:04,967 --> 00:02:05,827 MY BUSINESS. 41 00:02:05,833 --> 00:02:07,403 YOU BETTER GET IT GONE BEFORE 42 00:02:07,400 --> 00:02:09,370 THAT MAN GET HERE. 43 00:02:09,367 --> 00:02:10,897 >> WE'LL BE CALLING POLICE AND 44 00:02:10,900 --> 00:02:12,270 YOU'LL BE ARRESTED FOR ASSAULT. 45 00:02:12,267 --> 00:02:13,627 YOU PUNCHED ME IN THE FACE. 46 00:02:13,633 --> 00:02:15,073 SIR, YOU WERE HOLDING THE DOOR. 47 00:02:15,067 --> 00:02:16,867 >> NO ONE INVITED YOU IN THERE. 48 00:02:16,867 --> 00:02:18,367 >> AND YOU DIDN'T TELL US NOT TO 49 00:02:18,367 --> 00:02:19,967 GO IN EITHER AND YOU JUST 50 00:02:19,967 --> 00:02:21,097 PUNCHED ME IN THE FACE. 51 00:02:21,100 --> 00:02:23,330 >> AND I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU 52 00:02:23,333 --> 00:02:24,073 AGAIN. 53 00:02:24,067 --> 00:02:25,327 >> YOU HAVE TO BE INVITED IN? 54 00:02:25,333 --> 00:02:26,803 I DIDN'T REALIZE THESE WERE 55 00:02:26,800 --> 00:02:28,730 VAMPIRE RULES. 56 00:02:28,733 --> 00:02:31,633 EVERYONE WHO GOES TO JOURNALISM 57 00:02:31,633 --> 00:02:33,533 SCHOOL DESERVES TO BE SOCKED IN 58 00:02:33,533 --> 00:02:34,933 THE KISSER WITH ONE OF THESE AND 59 00:02:34,933 --> 00:02:35,673 ONE OF THESE. 60 00:02:35,667 --> 00:02:37,227 >> WE'LL BE CALLING POLICE AND 61 00:02:37,233 --> 00:02:42,133 YOU'LL BE ARRESTED FOR ASSAULT 62 00:02:42,133 --> 00:02:42,633 SIR. 63 00:02:42,633 --> 00:02:44,273 >> AND A-AFTERWARDS THE FASHION 64 00:02:44,267 --> 00:02:48,467 POLICE WILL GET YOU FOR WEAR 65 00:02:48,467 --> 00:02:49,067 PLAIDS. 66 00:02:49,067 --> 00:02:51,767 YOU'LL BE DELIGHTED AT THE 67 00:02:51,767 --> 00:02:53,097 AHEIGHT HE ACHIEVED HERE. 68 00:02:53,100 --> 00:02:55,530 [LAUGHTER] 69 00:02:55,533 --> 00:02:57,103 >> Tosh: YOU JUST GOT MALCOLM 70 00:02:57,100 --> 00:03:02,130 X'D. 71 00:03:02,133 --> 00:03:02,933 ALL RIGHT. 72 00:03:02,933 --> 00:03:06,433 JUST A GUESS BUT DID THAT AIRBAG 73 00:03:06,433 --> 00:03:15,803 COME OUT OF A CHRYSLER 300? 74 00:03:15,800 --> 00:03:16,930 [ SCREAMING ] 75 00:03:16,933 --> 00:03:18,503 >> Tosh: AND YOU THOUGHT I 76 00:03:18,500 --> 00:03:20,870 FORGOT ABOUT BLACK HISTORY 77 00:03:20,867 --> 00:03:21,367 MONTH. 78 00:03:21,367 --> 00:03:22,427 PLYOMETRICS. 79 00:03:22,433 --> 00:03:24,433 I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IS IT, HELL, 80 00:03:24,433 --> 00:03:27,333 NO ONE DOES. 81 00:03:27,333 --> 00:03:31,903 I'LL SAY IT AGAIN, PUT ON A 82 00:03:31,900 --> 00:03:33,200 WEIGHT STATION ON THE SPACE 83 00:03:33,200 --> 00:03:34,300 STATION IS A WASTE OF DOLLARS. 84 00:03:34,300 --> 00:03:36,670 YOU DO IT RIGHT WHEN SOMEONE 85 00:03:36,667 --> 00:03:38,797 STOPS TO FILM YOU. 86 00:03:38,800 --> 00:03:41,800 IF YOU CAN'T SEE KA IN VEGAS, 87 00:03:41,800 --> 00:03:44,630 THIS IS A CLOSE SECOND. 88 00:03:44,633 --> 00:03:49,973 THIS SILVERBACK GORILLA SOLVES 89 00:03:49,967 --> 00:03:51,497 WORLD HUNGER. 90 00:03:51,500 --> 00:03:52,630 ANIMALS THRIVE IN CAPTIVITY. 91 00:03:52,633 --> 00:03:54,433 NOW I'M FULL. 92 00:03:54,433 --> 00:03:57,073 NOW I'M HUNGRY AGAIN. 93 00:03:57,067 --> 00:04:01,867 LOOK AT ALL THAT AIDS PUDDING. 94 00:04:01,867 --> 00:04:03,567 WHAT WOULD MAKE IT BETTER IS 95 00:04:03,567 --> 00:04:06,467 EATING IT OFF A GIRL GORILLA'S 96 00:04:06,467 --> 00:04:07,097 TITTIES. 97 00:04:07,100 --> 00:04:07,900 ARE YOU SAYING TO YOURSELF I 98 00:04:07,900 --> 00:04:10,330 HOPE HE DOES IT AGAIN. 99 00:04:10,333 --> 00:04:13,233 KOKO, WHAT'S SIGN LANGUAGE FOR 100 00:04:13,233 --> 00:04:15,233 YOUR [BLEEP] DISGUSTING. 101 00:04:15,233 --> 00:04:17,803 HE KEEPS PUKE UP THE SAME 102 00:04:17,800 --> 00:04:21,100 [BLEEP] OVER AND OVER LIKE WES 103 00:04:21,100 --> 00:04:21,630 ANDERSON. 104 00:04:21,633 --> 00:04:23,403 YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY, DANIEL 105 00:04:23,400 --> 00:04:29,700 SEE, DANIEL DO. 106 00:04:29,700 --> 00:04:31,100 >> PANCAKES. 107 00:04:31,100 --> 00:04:40,330 >> ALL RIGHT, MONSTERS, EAT UP. 108 00:04:40,333 --> 00:04:42,073 >> AFTER BREAKFAST I KILLED ONE 109 00:04:42,067 --> 00:04:43,697 OF THOSE KIDS BECAUSE HE DIDN'T 110 00:04:43,700 --> 00:04:44,430 SMELL RIGHT. 111 00:04:44,433 --> 00:04:49,303 LOOK IT UP, EVOLUTION, CHAPTER 112 00:04:49,300 --> 00:04:51,970 6, VERSES 21 THROUGH 24. 113 00:04:51,967 --> 00:04:54,067 WHAT'S NEXT? 114 00:04:54,067 --> 00:04:58,727 I THINK WE FOUND OUR NEXT POPE. 115 00:04:58,733 --> 00:04:59,233 [LAUGHTER] 116 00:04:59,233 --> 00:05:01,333 >> NOW LET'S LEARN WHY THEY SAY 117 00:05:01,333 --> 00:05:03,233 THEY'RE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR 118 00:05:03,233 --> 00:05:05,703 NAKED DUDES IN THIS WEEK'S 119 00:05:05,700 --> 00:05:06,270 BREAKDOWN. 120 00:05:06,267 --> 00:05:08,067 DON'T BE FOOLED BY THE NEW DIE 121 00:05:08,067 --> 00:05:09,497 HARD MOVIE THERE'S STILL 122 00:05:09,500 --> 00:05:10,870 ENTERTAINING THINGS GOING ON IN 123 00:05:10,867 --> 00:05:11,467 RUSSIA. 124 00:05:11,467 --> 00:05:13,067 SOMEONE'S ON PCP OR MAYBE 125 00:05:13,067 --> 00:05:16,627 DOESN'T REALIZE THE LAKERS SUCK 126 00:05:16,633 --> 00:05:20,633 RIOT IS THE NEXT STREET OVER AND 127 00:05:20,633 --> 00:05:21,773 HE'S WEARING A RUSSIAN HAT. 128 00:05:21,767 --> 00:05:25,727 I THINK WE'LL HAVE TO BLUR THIS. 129 00:05:25,733 --> 00:05:28,473 THE PARKING LOT IS LAVA. 130 00:05:28,467 --> 00:05:31,597 [LAUGHTER] 131 00:05:31,600 --> 00:05:34,730 DO THEY EVEN HAVE KELLY BLUE 132 00:05:34,733 --> 00:05:37,203 BOOK OVER THERE OR ARE ALL CARS 133 00:05:37,200 --> 00:05:38,370 WORTH $400. 134 00:05:38,367 --> 00:05:41,367 NEVER FIGHT A NAKED MAN. 135 00:05:41,367 --> 00:05:43,597 WIN OR LOSE THE WEINER'S GOING 136 00:05:43,600 --> 00:05:45,830 TO MASH UP AGAINST YOU AND NOW 137 00:05:45,833 --> 00:05:47,733 THERE'S GRASS STAINS AND SKID 138 00:05:47,733 --> 00:05:48,233 MARKS. 139 00:05:48,233 --> 00:05:51,833 I'M STARTING TO SEE WHY ALL 140 00:05:51,833 --> 00:05:54,473 THEY'RE WOMEN MAIL THEMSELVES TO 141 00:05:54,467 --> 00:05:55,267 THE U.S. 142 00:05:55,267 --> 00:05:57,467 HE'S A LUNATIC NOT A PARAKEET. 143 00:05:57,467 --> 00:05:59,297 IF YOU'RE WONDERING WHY NO ONE'S 144 00:05:59,300 --> 00:06:01,070 AT WORK THERE IS NONE. 145 00:06:01,067 --> 00:06:03,067 I'M GLAD GOD IS SPENDING METEORS 146 00:06:03,067 --> 00:06:04,967 TO DESTROY THAT COUNTRY AND FOR 147 00:06:04,967 --> 00:06:08,397 THAT WE THANK YOU AND WE'LL BE 148 00:06:08,400 --> 00:06:10,570 BACK BUT THE FOUNDATION OF A 149 00:06:10,567 --> 00:06:11,867 FRIENDSHIP IS TRUST BUT OF 150 00:06:11,867 --> 00:06:13,627 COMEDY IT'S FRIENDS AND LET ME 151 00:06:13,633 --> 00:06:17,233 PLAY YOU A PERSONAL INSANE VOICE 152 00:06:17,233 --> 00:06:19,503 MAILS FROM COMEDIAN GREG HAHN. 153 00:06:19,500 --> 00:06:21,430 >> DANIEL, THIS IS GREG HAHN 154 00:06:21,433 --> 00:06:22,173 CALLING. 155 00:06:22,167 --> 00:06:25,067 IT'S NOT A FUNNY VOICE MAIL JUST 156 00:06:25,067 --> 00:06:26,627 BETWEEN ME AND YOU. 157 00:06:26,633 --> 00:06:31,473 ARE WE STILL TAKING THIS 158 00:06:31,467 --> 00:06:32,827 PROPEECIA STUFF? 159 00:06:32,833 --> 00:06:40,133 WHAT'S YOUR DOCTOR SAY ABOUT IT? 160 00:06:40,133 --> 00:06:41,803 >> YOU'LL BE HELD NO BOND SIR 161 00:06:41,800 --> 00:06:43,170 ANYTHING FURTHER ORDER OF THE 162 00:06:43,167 --> 00:06:43,467 COURT. 163 00:06:43,467 --> 00:06:47,067 THANK YOU. 164 00:06:47,067 --> 00:06:50,067 >> ARE YOU [BLEEP]ING KIDDING 165 00:06:50,067 --> 00:06:50,397 ME? 166 00:06:50,400 --> 00:06:53,170 >> WHAT DID HE SAY? 167 00:06:53,167 --> 00:06:55,397 WHOA, WHOA, BRING HIM BACK. 168 00:06:55,400 --> 00:07:00,670 SIR, WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY? 169 00:07:00,667 --> 00:07:02,297 >> I CALLED YOU A [BLEEP]. 170 00:07:02,300 --> 00:07:05,330 I APOLOGIZE I'M OUT OF LINE. 171 00:07:05,333 --> 00:07:07,373 >> I'LL ACCEPT APOLOGY AND 172 00:07:07,367 --> 00:07:10,227 SENTENCE YOU TO 60 DAYS IN THE 173 00:07:10,233 --> 00:07:11,133 BROWARD COUNTY JAIL. 174 00:07:11,133 --> 00:07:11,533 THANK YOU. 175 00:07:11,533 --> 00:07:13,273 [LAUGHTER] 176 00:07:13,267 --> 00:07:14,597 >> CAN I TAKE THE [BLEEP] BACK 177 00:07:14,600 --> 00:07:16,570 IN? 178 00:07:16,567 --> 00:07:18,167 >> SIR, HOLD IT. 179 00:07:18,167 --> 00:07:20,397 COME ON BACK, SIR. 180 00:07:20,400 --> 00:07:22,500 SIR, I'M INCLINED TO HOLD YOU IN 181 00:07:22,500 --> 00:07:24,130 CONTEMPT OF COURT AGAIN. 182 00:07:24,133 --> 00:07:27,073 I'M GOING SENTENCE YOU TO 183 00:07:27,067 --> 00:07:29,927 ANOTHER 60 DAYS TO RUN 184 00:07:29,933 --> 00:07:30,503 CONSECUTIVE. 185 00:07:30,500 --> 00:07:32,770 >> APPARENTLY THE JUDGE DOESN'T 186 00:07:32,767 --> 00:07:35,697 UNDERSTAND HOW FREEDOM OF SPEECH 187 00:07:35,700 --> 00:07:36,770 WORKS AND THAT'S BRIAN AND HE 188 00:07:36,767 --> 00:07:38,627 SAID WHAT EVERYONE WAS THINKING. 189 00:07:38,633 --> 00:07:41,473 JUDGES ARE BASICALLY PARENTS FOR 190 00:07:41,467 --> 00:07:42,727 PEOPLE WHO HAD [BLEEP] ONCE. 191 00:07:42,733 --> 00:07:45,833 THE EXECUTIVE PRODUCER OF THIS 192 00:07:45,833 --> 00:07:47,433 SHOW'S A LAWYER AND HE'S TRIED 193 00:07:47,433 --> 00:07:49,803 TO CONVINCE COMEDY CENTRAL TO 194 00:07:49,800 --> 00:07:51,770 LET ME SAY [BLEEP]. 195 00:07:51,767 --> 00:07:54,297 DID IT GET BLEEPED? 196 00:07:54,300 --> 00:07:55,400 HE LOST. 197 00:07:55,400 --> 00:07:56,800 I'M NO LAW EXPERT I NEVER SAW A 198 00:07:56,800 --> 00:08:00,270 FULL EPISODE OF LAW AND ORDER 199 00:08:00,267 --> 00:08:02,627 BUT EVERYBODY SHOULD BE ALLOWED 200 00:08:02,633 --> 00:08:05,973 ONE OOPSIS AND THE SUPREME COURT 201 00:08:05,967 --> 00:08:10,067 COMES WITH SOUR CREAM AND GUAC. 202 00:08:10,067 --> 00:08:13,327 WHAT'S WITH THE WOODEN PEWS? 203 00:08:13,333 --> 00:08:15,403 IT'S A GOOD THING WE MAKE PEOPLE 204 00:08:15,400 --> 00:08:16,930 TELL THE TRUTH, WHOLE TRUTH AND 205 00:08:16,933 --> 00:08:19,073 NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH. 206 00:08:19,067 --> 00:08:21,067 IF I KNOW CRIMINALS THEY'RE MEN 207 00:08:21,067 --> 00:08:22,297 OF THEIR WORD AND THE PROBLEM 208 00:08:22,300 --> 00:08:24,500 WITH THE SYSTEM IS THE INNOCENT 209 00:08:24,500 --> 00:08:25,970 UNTIL PROVEN GUILTY. 210 00:08:25,967 --> 00:08:32,227 WHO KNOW WHO'S NOT BEING ACCUSED 211 00:08:32,233 --> 00:08:35,873 OF UNDER AGE SEX TRAFFICKING? 212 00:08:35,867 --> 00:08:38,697 INNOCENT PEOPLE AND WE HAVE THIS 213 00:08:38,700 --> 00:08:40,400 WEEK'S WEB REDEMPTION. 214 00:08:40,400 --> 00:08:49,900 ALL RISE. 215 00:08:49,900 --> 00:08:51,500 >> YOU REALLY DID IF THIS TIME 216 00:08:51,500 --> 00:08:51,900 S&P 217 00:08:51,900 --> 00:08:53,300 >> I KNOW, I MESSED UP. 218 00:08:53,300 --> 00:08:55,330 >> I'LL HAVE YOU OUT IN NO TIME. 219 00:08:55,333 --> 00:08:57,373 >> THAT'S UNNECESSARY. 220 00:08:57,367 --> 00:08:57,767 GIVE ME -- 221 00:08:57,767 --> 00:08:59,797 >> I'M GOING TO PUT THIS AGAINST 222 00:08:59,800 --> 00:09:01,070 THE WINDOW. 223 00:09:01,067 --> 00:09:10,067 WHICH HOMOSEXUAL NEO NAZI PARTY 224 00:09:10,067 --> 00:09:11,067 DID YOU JOIN IN THE PEN? 225 00:09:11,067 --> 00:09:11,897 >> NONE OF THEM. 226 00:09:11,900 --> 00:09:13,170 >> WHAT GOT YOU HERE IN THE 227 00:09:13,167 --> 00:09:14,067 FIRST PLACE. 228 00:09:14,067 --> 00:09:19,727 >> I GOT A PRESCRIPTION OF 229 00:09:19,733 --> 00:09:22,073 MEDICATION AND I TOOK A STEAK 230 00:09:22,067 --> 00:09:23,427 KNIFE AT MY DAD. 231 00:09:23,433 --> 00:09:24,603 >> WHAT KIND? 232 00:09:24,600 --> 00:09:27,300 >> A STEAK KNIFE. 233 00:09:27,300 --> 00:09:28,730 MY DAD SAW IT. 234 00:09:28,733 --> 00:09:29,733 >> WHAT HAPPENS IN THE 235 00:09:29,733 --> 00:09:30,633 COURTROOM. 236 00:09:30,633 --> 00:09:33,073 >> HE WAS BEING A DICK AND WHEN 237 00:09:33,067 --> 00:09:37,397 HE WALKED AWAY I SAID SUCK MY 238 00:09:37,400 --> 00:09:38,800 [BLEEP] AND WHEN I WENT BACK UP 239 00:09:38,800 --> 00:09:41,370 I SAID I'M GOING TO THROW THE 240 00:09:41,367 --> 00:09:42,297 WORD [BLEEP] IN. 241 00:09:42,300 --> 00:09:44,070 >> DID YOU FEED OFF THE ENERGY 242 00:09:44,067 --> 00:09:44,827 IN THE COURTROOM? 243 00:09:44,833 --> 00:09:46,273 >> THAT'S WHY I GOT THE SECOND 244 00:09:46,267 --> 00:09:48,167 CONTEMPT OF COURT AND I FIGURED 245 00:09:48,167 --> 00:09:50,627 I'M SCREWED SO MIGHT AS WELL GET 246 00:09:50,633 --> 00:09:52,333 ANOTHER LAUGH IN. 247 00:09:52,333 --> 00:09:54,803 >> IT'S TOUGH. 248 00:09:54,800 --> 00:09:59,130 YOU WANT TO GET IT IN. 249 00:09:59,133 --> 00:10:03,073 DID YOU UNDERSTAND CONSECUTIVE? 250 00:10:03,067 --> 00:10:05,667 DID ANYONE EVER SERVE LIKE 251 00:10:05,667 --> 00:10:07,397 NONCONSECUTIVE LIKE ONE DAY IN, 252 00:10:07,400 --> 00:10:08,200 ONE DAY OUT. 253 00:10:08,200 --> 00:10:10,030 HOW LONG WERE YOU IN JAIL FOR? 254 00:10:10,033 --> 00:10:10,973 >> 33 DAYS. 255 00:10:10,967 --> 00:10:12,027 >> HAVE YOU BEEN BACK? 256 00:10:12,033 --> 00:10:13,603 >> ACTUALLY I WAS. 257 00:10:13,600 --> 00:10:15,630 BUT IT WAS INSTEAD OF TAKING 258 00:10:15,633 --> 00:10:17,073 PROBATION I DECIDED TO DO JAIL 259 00:10:17,067 --> 00:10:17,397 TIME. 260 00:10:17,400 --> 00:10:20,230 >> IS THAT BETTER? 261 00:10:20,233 --> 00:10:22,473 >> I'D PROBABLY BE BACK IN JAIL 262 00:10:22,467 --> 00:10:23,767 IF I TOOK PROBATION. 263 00:10:23,767 --> 00:10:26,097 >> LOOK AT YOU, PLAYING IT 264 00:10:26,100 --> 00:10:27,470 SMART. 265 00:10:27,467 --> 00:10:29,897 DO YOU BLAME THE HARVEY DENT 266 00:10:29,900 --> 00:10:30,430 ACT? 267 00:10:30,433 --> 00:10:32,733 >> RE FRESH MY MEMORY. 268 00:10:32,733 --> 00:10:35,533 >> HARVEY DENT WAS MURDERED BY 269 00:10:35,533 --> 00:10:36,173 BATMAN. 270 00:10:36,167 --> 00:10:37,227 LOTS OF PEOPLE WENT TO JAIL BUT 271 00:10:37,233 --> 00:10:39,973 IT WAS FOR IF HE BETTERMENT OF 272 00:10:39,967 --> 00:10:40,467 GOTHAM. 273 00:10:40,467 --> 00:10:43,097 >> I AGREE THEN. 274 00:10:43,100 --> 00:10:45,570 >> BRIAN, ENOUGH OF GETTING TO 275 00:10:45,567 --> 00:10:47,567 KNOW EACH OTHER LET'S GET 276 00:10:47,567 --> 00:10:48,067 CONJUGAL. 277 00:10:48,067 --> 00:10:49,167 >> I'LL PASS, MAN. 278 00:10:49,167 --> 00:10:50,227 >> OKAY. 279 00:10:50,233 --> 00:10:52,433 BUT I GOT YOU A RETRAIL AND HAVE 280 00:10:52,433 --> 00:10:55,103 A BRILLIANT LEGAL DEFENSE DREAM 281 00:10:55,100 --> 00:10:56,630 TEAM AND IF THAT DOESN'T WORK I 282 00:10:56,633 --> 00:11:00,603 ALSO BAKED YOU A CAKE. 283 00:11:00,600 --> 00:11:11,330 THERE'S A FILE IN IT. 284 00:11:11,333 --> 00:11:20,073 >> NEXT. 285 00:11:20,067 --> 00:11:22,967 >> YOUR HONOR, IF IT PLEASE THIS 286 00:11:22,967 --> 00:11:24,597 COURT I'D LIKE TO REMOVE THIS 287 00:11:24,600 --> 00:11:26,430 LITERAL GAG ORDER FROM ANY 288 00:11:26,433 --> 00:11:26,933 CLIENT. 289 00:11:26,933 --> 00:11:28,273 >> I'LL ALLOW IT. 290 00:11:28,267 --> 00:11:30,567 >> THANK YOU, YOUR HONOR. 291 00:11:30,567 --> 00:11:32,397 WE'VE OFF TO A GOOD START. 292 00:11:32,400 --> 00:11:33,070 [BLEEP]. 293 00:11:33,067 --> 00:11:34,327 >> WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY? 294 00:11:34,333 --> 00:11:36,733 >> YOUR HONOR, I BELIEVE MY 295 00:11:36,733 --> 00:11:38,433 CLIENT SAID IT'S KIND OF WARM IN 296 00:11:38,433 --> 00:11:40,773 THIS COURTROOM AND I MUST AGREE. 297 00:11:40,767 --> 00:11:43,827 >> WHERE'S YOUR LEGAL DREAM 298 00:11:43,833 --> 00:11:44,303 TEAM? 299 00:11:44,300 --> 00:11:47,300 >> I'M GOING STALL JUST TRY NOT 300 00:11:47,300 --> 00:11:48,600 TO SAY [BLEEP]. 301 00:11:48,600 --> 00:11:51,500 YOUR HONOR, AND LADIES AND 302 00:11:51,500 --> 00:11:56,130 GENTLEMEN OF THE JURY, I HAVE 303 00:11:56,133 --> 00:12:00,333 HERE A SWORN AFFIDAVIT THAT I'D 304 00:12:00,333 --> 00:12:02,833 LIKE TO ENTER INTO EVIDENCE. 305 00:12:02,833 --> 00:12:03,973 READ THAT BACK TO ME. 306 00:12:03,967 --> 00:12:05,497 STRIKE THAT FROM THE RECORD. 307 00:12:05,500 --> 00:12:09,670 THAT REMINDS ME OF -- WHOA. 308 00:12:09,667 --> 00:12:11,497 ARE YOU ALLOWED TO TOUCH THE 309 00:12:11,500 --> 00:12:12,070 JOURNEY? 310 00:12:12,067 --> 00:12:15,167 I BELIEVE IT WAS BENJAMIN 311 00:12:15,167 --> 00:12:18,867 FRANKLIN, A YANKIE WHO SAID IT 312 00:12:18,867 --> 00:12:19,397 BEST. 313 00:12:19,400 --> 00:12:20,800 YAY THOUGH I WALK THROUGH THE 314 00:12:20,800 --> 00:12:24,130 SHADOW OF THE VALLEY OF DEATH -- 315 00:12:24,133 --> 00:12:27,333 NOW MY PAPI, GOT REST HIS SOUL 316 00:12:27,333 --> 00:12:29,773 AND YOU, YOU SIR WILL PROBABLY 317 00:12:29,767 --> 00:12:31,327 NEED MY COURT IN THE FUTURE. 318 00:12:31,333 --> 00:12:32,233 JUST KEEP THAT. 319 00:12:32,233 --> 00:12:36,073 >> STOP WASTING MY TIME OR I'LL 320 00:12:36,067 --> 00:12:39,767 THROW AND YOU IN JAIL. 321 00:12:39,767 --> 00:12:43,897 >> PERMISSION TO APPROACH THE 322 00:12:43,900 --> 00:12:44,500 BENCH. 323 00:12:44,500 --> 00:12:45,830 >> GRANTED. 324 00:12:45,833 --> 00:12:47,273 >> I WASN'T EXPECTING THAT. 325 00:12:47,267 --> 00:12:52,727 WHAT IS THAT MAHOGANY OR BIRCH? 326 00:12:52,733 --> 00:12:57,173 LOVE A GOOD BIRCH MY GRAND 327 00:12:57,167 --> 00:13:02,927 PAPPY, ORVILLE REDDENBACHER -- 328 00:13:02,933 --> 00:13:06,933 NO WIN WILL SEE THIS AS JURY 329 00:13:06,933 --> 00:13:09,203 TAMPERING IF I OFFER THEM MY 330 00:13:09,200 --> 00:13:20,370 GRAND PAPPY'S FINE KETTLE CORN. 331 00:13:20,367 --> 00:13:21,827 HMM. 332 00:13:21,833 --> 00:13:26,873 THAT FEELS RIGHT. 333 00:13:26,867 --> 00:13:29,067 YOUR HONOR, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN 334 00:13:29,067 --> 00:13:31,097 OF THE JURY, THE WHOLE CASE IS 335 00:13:31,100 --> 00:13:33,130 ABOUT FREEDOM TO SAY WHAT WE 336 00:13:33,133 --> 00:13:34,733 NEED TO SAY WHEN WE NEED TO SEE 337 00:13:34,733 --> 00:13:36,603 IT LIKE REMIND ME TO PINCH YOUR 338 00:13:36,600 --> 00:13:38,570 TITS AFTER THE TRIAL. 339 00:13:38,567 --> 00:13:39,527 THAT'S A COMPLIMENT. 340 00:13:39,533 --> 00:13:41,503 I EXPRESSED HOW I FELT ABOUT HER 341 00:13:41,500 --> 00:13:43,770 >> YOU BETTER BE GOING SOME 342 00:13:43,767 --> 00:13:46,327 WHERE WITH THIS MR. DICE CLAY. 343 00:13:46,333 --> 00:13:49,303 >> YOU'RE A WOMAN, YOU'VE BEEN 344 00:13:49,300 --> 00:13:49,770 AROUND. 345 00:13:49,767 --> 00:13:51,927 MAYBE YOU'RE WEARING THAT ROBE, 346 00:13:51,933 --> 00:13:54,273 THAT SEXY [BLEEP]ING ROBE IN 347 00:13:54,267 --> 00:13:55,897 FRONT OF YOUR MIRROR WITH A 348 00:13:55,900 --> 00:13:57,170 LITTLE [BLEEP] I CAN GRAB WITH 349 00:13:57,167 --> 00:13:59,767 MY TEETH AND PULL RIGHT OUT OF 350 00:13:59,767 --> 00:14:00,927 YOUR [BLEEP]. 351 00:14:00,933 --> 00:14:03,633 I MEAN, I'M THE TYPE OF GUY THAT 352 00:14:03,633 --> 00:14:05,433 KNOWS HOW TO EXPRESS HIMSELF. 353 00:14:05,433 --> 00:14:07,333 I'M THE TYPE OF GUY THAT WHEN 354 00:14:07,333 --> 00:14:10,273 I'M IN BED WITH A CHICK I KNOW 355 00:14:10,267 --> 00:14:12,267 WHEN TO USE THE [BLEEP] WORD. 356 00:14:12,267 --> 00:14:13,727 LADIES AND GENTLEMEN OF THE 357 00:14:13,733 --> 00:14:15,973 JURY, I CAN SUM THIS UP IN A FEW 358 00:14:15,967 --> 00:14:21,967 WORDS, HICKRY, DICKORY DOCK, MY 359 00:14:21,967 --> 00:14:24,067 CLIENT HAS IT THE RIGHT TO CALL 360 00:14:24,067 --> 00:14:25,927 THAT JUDGE A [BLEEP]. 361 00:14:25,933 --> 00:14:26,333 OH! 362 00:14:26,333 --> 00:14:28,433 YEAH, YEAH, YEAH. 363 00:14:28,433 --> 00:14:30,433 YEAH, YEAH, YEAH. 364 00:14:30,433 --> 00:14:33,703 >> CASE DISMISSED. 365 00:14:33,700 --> 00:14:35,970 >> GET OVER HERE YOU [BLEEP]ING 366 00:14:35,967 --> 00:14:37,867 ANIMAL YOU ARE. 367 00:14:37,867 --> 00:14:40,167 >> IF YOU DON'T LIKE THAT 368 00:14:40,167 --> 00:14:42,097 REDEMPTION YOU CAN FILE AN 369 00:14:42,100 --> 00:14:43,900 APPEAL WITH THE DISTRICT OF I 370 00:14:43,900 --> 00:14:45,930 DON'T GIVE A [BLEEP]. 371 00:14:45,933 --> 00:14:46,433 OH! 372 00:14:46,433 --> 00:14:48,973 IT'S HARD TO REACH ALL THE WAY 373 00:14:48,967 --> 00:14:49,567 AROUND. 374 00:14:49,567 --> 00:14:52,567 FIRST HERE WE GO AGAIN. 375 00:14:52,567 --> 00:14:55,327 PORCH WITH MEMA. 376 00:14:55,333 --> 00:14:57,503 >> TOSH WANTS TO KNOW WHAT I 377 00:14:57,500 --> 00:15:01,300 THINK ABOUT GIRLS THAT LIKE ANAL 378 00:15:01,300 --> 00:15:01,730 SEX. 379 00:15:01,733 --> 00:15:11,803 IT'S UNHEALTHY AND SHOULDN'T DO 380 00:15:11,800 --> 00:15:13,970 >> IT'S ABOUT THE PRETTIEST TIME 381 00:15:13,967 --> 00:15:14,867 OF YEAR THOUGH. 382 00:15:14,867 --> 00:15:16,667 THE TREES LOOK SO NICE AND I 383 00:15:16,667 --> 00:15:17,927 LOVE ALL THE NICE COVERS OUT 384 00:15:17,933 --> 00:15:21,273 THERE AND SPEAKING OF THE COLORS 385 00:15:21,267 --> 00:15:23,797 WE HAVE TYLER WEIR. 386 00:15:23,800 --> 00:15:24,530 [LAUGHTER] 387 00:15:24,533 --> 00:15:24,773 . 388 00:15:24,767 --> 00:15:27,827 >> THANKS, GUYS. 389 00:15:27,833 --> 00:15:31,273 >> UH-OH. 390 00:15:31,267 --> 00:15:37,367 THAT WAS AN HONEST MISTAKE OF 391 00:15:37,367 --> 00:15:39,527 CALLING THEIR CO-WORKER COLORED 392 00:15:39,533 --> 00:15:40,873 AND I HAVE COME UP WITH TERMS 393 00:15:40,867 --> 00:15:43,397 THAT HAVE NO RATION CONNOTATION 394 00:15:43,400 --> 00:15:47,070 WHAT SO EVER AND TO MAKE SURE 395 00:15:47,067 --> 00:15:49,297 THEY'RE SAFE A TESTED THEM WITH 396 00:15:49,300 --> 00:15:50,700 A DIVERSE FOCUS GROUP. 397 00:15:50,700 --> 00:15:52,470 IT'S TIME FOR IS IT RACIST. 398 00:15:52,467 --> 00:15:54,597 >> THANK YOU FOR COMING I'D LIKE 399 00:15:54,600 --> 00:15:56,070 TO RAISE YOUR HAND WHENEVER YOU 400 00:15:56,067 --> 00:15:59,297 FEEL THE TERM I USE IS 401 00:15:59,300 --> 00:16:00,070 OFFENSIVE. 402 00:16:00,067 --> 00:16:01,497 CREAM JOCKEY. 403 00:16:01,500 --> 00:16:02,070 OKAY. 404 00:16:02,067 --> 00:16:02,867 WATER FLAP. 405 00:16:02,867 --> 00:16:08,067 HERE COMES THE PACK OF WATER 406 00:16:08,067 --> 00:16:08,727 FLAPS. 407 00:16:08,733 --> 00:16:09,833 LOCK UP YOUR DOGS. 408 00:16:09,833 --> 00:16:11,973 >> IT DOESN'T SOUND GOOD. 409 00:16:11,967 --> 00:16:13,267 >> OKAY. 410 00:16:13,267 --> 00:16:14,067 SUGAR TASTER. 411 00:16:14,067 --> 00:16:15,297 WHAT DO YOU THINK IT MEANS? 412 00:16:15,300 --> 00:16:16,300 >> I DON'T KNOW. 413 00:16:16,300 --> 00:16:19,100 I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU THINK HE 414 00:16:19,100 --> 00:16:20,400 TASTES SUGAR. 415 00:16:20,400 --> 00:16:23,830 >> WHY DO YOU POINT TO THE BLACK 416 00:16:23,833 --> 00:16:24,333 PERSON? 417 00:16:24,333 --> 00:16:25,973 >> THEY -- 418 00:16:25,967 --> 00:16:27,667 >> THEY? 419 00:16:27,667 --> 00:16:28,427 SADDLE SHIN? 420 00:16:28,433 --> 00:16:29,433 >> WHAT'S THAT MEAN? 421 00:16:29,433 --> 00:16:33,273 >> A BUNCH OF STINKAL SADDLE 422 00:16:33,267 --> 00:16:33,927 SHINS. 423 00:16:33,933 --> 00:16:35,673 >> USE IN SENTENCE. 424 00:16:35,667 --> 00:16:37,897 >> I DID. 425 00:16:37,900 --> 00:16:38,500 CLINK-CLUNK. 426 00:16:38,500 --> 00:16:40,700 >> HEY, WE DID THE RAIL ROAD AND 427 00:16:40,700 --> 00:16:42,070 ALL THE WORK AND YOU COME BACK 428 00:16:42,067 --> 00:16:44,067 TO USE THAT KIND OF TERM? 429 00:16:44,067 --> 00:16:44,897 >> ALL RIGHT. 430 00:16:44,900 --> 00:16:46,430 IT'S NOT DIRECTED TOWARDS ANYONE 431 00:16:46,433 --> 00:16:48,233 IT'S JUST THE WORD CLINK-CLUNK. 432 00:16:48,233 --> 00:16:49,433 >> I DON'T LIKE IT. 433 00:16:49,433 --> 00:16:50,903 >> IT SOUNDS KIND OF OFFENSIVE. 434 00:16:50,900 --> 00:16:53,500 >> IT'S ALL GOOD RESEARCH GUYS, 435 00:16:53,500 --> 00:16:54,670 THANK YOU. 436 00:16:54,667 --> 00:16:57,167 BISCUIT NECK. 437 00:16:57,167 --> 00:17:00,467 GOD HELP US IF WE EVER HAVE A 438 00:17:00,467 --> 00:17:03,097 BISCUIT NECK IN THE WHITE HOUSE. 439 00:17:03,100 --> 00:17:05,200 WHAT OFFENDS YOU? 440 00:17:05,200 --> 00:17:06,900 >> YOU SHOULDN'T SAY IT. 441 00:17:06,900 --> 00:17:08,670 >> I THOUGHT IT WAS SOMETHING 442 00:17:08,667 --> 00:17:09,467 TOWARDS WHITES. 443 00:17:09,467 --> 00:17:11,067 >> YOU THOUGHT IT WAS NEGATIVE 444 00:17:11,067 --> 00:17:12,267 TOWARDS WHITES? 445 00:17:12,267 --> 00:17:14,097 >> YEAH. 446 00:17:14,100 --> 00:17:18,870 >> I APPRECIATE IT. 447 00:17:18,867 --> 00:17:19,967 SPOON FACE. 448 00:17:19,967 --> 00:17:22,197 >> ASIANS MIGHT THINK YOU'RE 449 00:17:22,200 --> 00:17:23,070 THINKING ABOUT THEM UP 450 00:17:23,067 --> 00:17:25,767 >> THINK IT'S A SLAM. 451 00:17:25,767 --> 00:17:27,197 >> YEAH, SPOON FACE. 452 00:17:27,200 --> 00:17:29,730 >> APPLE PICKER. 453 00:17:29,733 --> 00:17:30,873 WHY ARE YOU OFFENDED? 454 00:17:30,867 --> 00:17:32,867 >> NO ONE CALLS ME AN APPLE 455 00:17:32,867 --> 00:17:33,327 PICKER. 456 00:17:33,333 --> 00:17:34,873 >> WHAT IF YOU WERE TO PICK AN 457 00:17:34,867 --> 00:17:35,427 APPLE. 458 00:17:35,433 --> 00:17:37,403 >> I STILL WOULDN'T BE AN APPLE 459 00:17:37,400 --> 00:17:37,900 PICKER. 460 00:17:37,900 --> 00:17:39,530 >> WHAT ABOUT PINTO? 461 00:17:39,533 --> 00:17:40,203 >> NO. 462 00:17:40,200 --> 00:17:42,730 >> WATER FLAPS? 463 00:17:42,733 --> 00:17:43,473 >> NO. 464 00:17:43,467 --> 00:17:45,767 >> CHIN FLAPS? 465 00:17:45,767 --> 00:17:46,767 >> NO. 466 00:17:46,767 --> 00:17:47,597 DOOR DONKEY? 467 00:17:47,600 --> 00:17:49,130 >> HELL, NO. 468 00:17:49,133 --> 00:17:50,673 >> TEN EYES. 469 00:17:50,667 --> 00:17:51,427 >> OKAY. 470 00:17:51,433 --> 00:17:52,803 >> THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR TIME. 471 00:17:52,800 --> 00:17:54,900 YOU CAN COLLECT YOUR TEN DOLLARS 472 00:17:54,900 --> 00:17:56,930 ON YOUR WAY OUT. 473 00:17:56,933 --> 00:17:58,433 >> TEN DOLLARS? 474 00:17:58,433 --> 00:18:02,073 >> YEAH, YOU SPOON-FACE 475 00:18:02,067 --> 00:18:02,667 APPLE-PICKER. 476 00:18:02,667 --> 00:18:04,597 BE CAREFUL WITH THE TERMS, GUYS. 477 00:18:04,600 --> 00:18:06,100 IT'S A SLIPPERY SLOPE. 478 00:18:06,100 --> 00:18:08,630 I'M SURE YOU CAN'T SAY SLIPPERY 479 00:18:08,633 --> 00:18:09,903 SLOPE. 480 00:18:09,900 --> 00:18:11,130 PEOPLE CLAIM VIEWER VIDEOS 481 00:18:11,133 --> 00:18:12,233 AREN'T FUNNY AND THEY ONLY HAVE 482 00:18:12,233 --> 00:18:14,433 TO BE FUNNY AND I HAVE A QUEER 483 00:18:14,433 --> 00:18:15,633 SENSE OF HUMOR. 484 00:18:15,633 --> 00:18:21,233 HERE'S THIS WEEK'S WINNER. 485 00:18:21,233 --> 00:18:32,333 >> BULIMIA, BULIMIA, DON'T EAT, 486 00:18:32,333 --> 00:18:36,673 DON'T PURGE, EAT A HEALTHY DIET. 487 00:18:36,667 --> 00:18:39,827 BULIMIA WILL HURT YOU. 488 00:18:39,833 --> 00:18:45,603 YOU MIGHT PUKE UP A TINY MAN AND 489 00:18:45,600 --> 00:18:50,400 LOSE YOUR MIND. 490 00:18:50,400 --> 00:18:52,070 >> DUH. 491 00:18:52,067 --> 00:18:53,567 IF BULIMIA WAS SAFE EVERYBODY 492 00:18:53,567 --> 00:18:55,927 WOULD BE DOING IT. 493 00:18:55,933 --> 00:18:57,833 WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MORE OF 494 00:18:57,833 --> 00:18:58,233 THE SWEET SPOT. 495 00:19:08,133 --> 00:19:11,103 >> ELCOME ACBAY. 496 00:19:11,100 --> 00:19:14,730 THAT'S BIG LATIN. 497 00:19:14,733 --> 00:19:18,803 THANKS ROSETTA STONE. 498 00:19:18,800 --> 00:19:24,900 OR SHOULD I SAY ANKSTHAY. 499 00:19:24,900 --> 00:19:32,970 >> UM, I'M JUST GONNA -- 500 00:19:32,967 --> 00:19:33,527 [LAUGHTER] 501 00:19:33,533 --> 00:19:35,303 >> TAKING THE MICROPHONE WITH 502 00:19:35,300 --> 00:19:37,070 YOU IS THE ONLY WAY TO ASSURE 503 00:19:37,067 --> 00:19:38,227 YOU'LL WIN THE TALENT CONTEST. 504 00:19:38,233 --> 00:19:39,803 FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER. 505 00:19:39,800 --> 00:19:42,530 IF YOU DON'T SEE NEW TWEETS IT'S 506 00:19:42,533 --> 00:19:45,873 BECAUSE I OPENED A NEW ACCOUNT 507 00:19:45,867 --> 00:19:48,867 AT SAD TWITTER TOSH FOR WHEN I'M 508 00:19:48,867 --> 00:19:49,327 SAD. 509 00:19:49,333 --> 00:19:50,303 GO TO MY BLOG. 510 00:19:50,300 --> 00:19:54,570 WHO AM I KIDDING YOU'RE PROBABLY 511 00:19:54,567 --> 00:19:57,667 THERE NOW AND JOIN ME ON THE 512 00:19:57,667 --> 00:20:01,267 JUNE GLOOM TOUR WHICH STARTS IN 513 00:20:01,267 --> 00:20:02,897 MAY WITH JARROD CARMICHAEL. 514 00:20:02,900 --> 00:20:03,730 THAT'S NOT HIM. 515 00:20:03,733 --> 00:20:05,403 THAT'S THE CRAZY TAN LADY. 516 00:20:05,400 --> 00:20:06,930 THAT'S THE CLOSEST TO WHAT HE 517 00:20:06,933 --> 00:20:07,773 LOOKS LIKE. 518 00:20:07,767 --> 00:20:08,727 HOPEFULLY WE'LL GET IT RIGHT 519 00:20:08,733 --> 00:20:09,373 NEXT WEEK. 520 00:20:09,367 --> 00:20:10,897 NOW IN THE CRITICALLY ACCLAIMED 521 00:20:10,900 --> 00:20:13,370 SEASON PREMIER I INVENTED A NEW 522 00:20:13,367 --> 00:20:15,527 GAME CALLED SPORTS OR 523 00:20:15,533 --> 00:20:16,833 CONSEQUENCE AND SINCE WRITING 524 00:20:16,833 --> 00:20:18,303 FRESH CONTENT EACH WEEK IS HARD 525 00:20:18,300 --> 00:20:19,930 I ASK YOU TO SEND IN YOUR OWN. 526 00:20:19,933 --> 00:20:24,833 >> SPORTS OR CONSEQUENCES. 527 00:20:24,833 --> 00:20:26,173 A RUBBER BAND SNAP TO THE 528 00:20:26,167 --> 00:20:32,327 NIPPLES. 529 00:20:32,333 --> 00:20:33,273 WHEW! 530 00:20:33,267 --> 00:20:35,597 >> TWO, THREE. 531 00:20:35,600 --> 00:20:40,370 [ SCREAMING ] 532 00:20:40,367 --> 00:20:45,227 [LAUGHTER] 533 00:20:45,233 --> 00:20:50,673 >> IT'S BEHIND US. 534 00:20:50,667 --> 00:20:51,527 STATE TROOPER. 535 00:20:51,533 --> 00:20:54,203 >> THE LAST TWO IDIOTS DID SUCH 536 00:20:54,200 --> 00:20:55,770 A GOOD JOB THEY GOT ARRESTED 537 00:20:55,767 --> 00:20:58,197 WHILE I FULLY SUPPORT AND ENJOY 538 00:20:58,200 --> 00:21:02,930 WHAT THEY DID I DO NOT CONDONE 539 00:21:02,933 --> 00:21:05,533 IT AND TONIGHT'S WHERE'S DANIEL 540 00:21:05,533 --> 00:21:07,173 IS TOUGH BUT HERE'S A HINT. 541 00:21:07,167 --> 00:21:08,267 I'M SOME WHERE TOWARDS THE 542 00:21:08,267 --> 00:21:09,427 MIDDLE OF YOUR SCREEN. 543 00:21:09,433 --> 00:21:10,503 GOOD NIGHT. 544 00:21:10,500 --> 00:21:20,070 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 545 00:21:20,067 --> 00:21:20,397 ARE 546 00:21:20,400 --> 00:21:22,070 >> HOW ABOUT [BLEEP]ING IN 547 00:21:22,067 --> 00:21:22,627 PUBLIC. 548 00:21:22,633 --> 00:21:23,673 >> HOW MANY PEOPLE WERE IN YOUR 549 00:21:23,667 --> 00:21:24,067 CELL? 550 00:21:24,067 --> 00:21:24,427 >> THREE. 551 00:21:24,433 --> 00:21:25,903 >> AND YOU ASKED THEM TO LEAVE 552 00:21:25,900 --> 00:21:26,970 WHILE YOU POOP? 34453

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