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>> TOSH.O FEATURES VIDEOS FROM
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THE INTERNET AND IS INTENDED FOR
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A MATURE AUDIENCE.
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ENJOY.
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>> YOU'RE NOT GOING TO START
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UNTIL I TAKE MY HAND OFF YOUR
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FIST.
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>> GOT IT.
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>> LET ME KNOW WHEN YOU'RE
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READY.
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>> YOU CAN HANDLE THIS?
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>> YES.
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>> OKAY, AND GO!
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>> OH!
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(SCREAMING )
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*
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[ APPLAUSE ]
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>> OH, LET'S GO AGAIN.
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THAT'S TWO OUT OF THREE.
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WELCOME TO TOSH.O.
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THIS EPISODE IS NOT A RERUN.
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OR IS IT?
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[LAUGHING]
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>> TONIGHT ON THE SHOW I HOST A
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MARATHON WE PLAY IS IT RACIST?
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AND I SHOW YOU MY HOMEMADE SEX
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TOY.
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NOW LET'S SEE WHY IT'S NOT JUST
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WOMENS EMOTIONS THAT ARE
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FRAGILE.
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(YELLING )
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>> SOMEONE HASN'T BEEN TAKING
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HER BONIVA.
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HOW IS SHOULD I GOING TO POUR
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HER BOSS' COFFEE ON MONDAY?
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OH.
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THAT'S NOTHING MY FAMOUS POTATO
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SALAD WON'T FIX.
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WOMEN SHOULD ONLY BE ALLOWED TO
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PILLOW FIGHT IN THEIR PANTIES.
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IT'S JUST SAFER.
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[LAUGHING]
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>> HEY, BRO YOUR PECS ARE
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LEAKING DUDE JUICE.
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>> I DIDN'T EVEN REALIZE MEN HAD
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HOLES IN THEIR NIPS.
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IS THIS JOE ROGAN?
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THE NEW SEASON OF FEAR FACTOR
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LOOKS REFRESHING.
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OH, WE ARE SO CLOSE TO NOT EVEN
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NEEDING GIRLS FOR ANYTHING.
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I BET HE MENUSTRATES OUT OF HIS
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WEINER.
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BELIEVE IT OR NOT MALE LACTATION
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CAN REALLY COME IN HANDY.
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>> NEW RECORD.
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CONGRATULATIONS WHAT DO YOU WANT
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THE TIGER OR THE BEAR.
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>> OH, THE BEAR.
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>> THAT'S A GOOD CHOICE.
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THE BIGGER GETS THE BEARMENT.
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>> THANKS MAN.
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I COULD [BEEP] YOUR GIRLFRIEND.
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>> IF I HAD A NICKEL EVERY TIME
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I SQUIRTED INTO A CLOWN'S MOUTH.
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TIME TO PUT THE OUCH IN COUCH.
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>> OH MY GOSH!
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>> OH, NO.
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THE THING WE WERE ALE HOPING
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WOULD HAPPEN, HAPPENED.
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ON THE BRIGHT SIDE THEY FINALLY
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FOUND RECEIPT MOAT.
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THERE IT IS.
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>> I HAVE BEEN TOLD MY CASTING
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COUCH IS A SIMILAR THRILL RIDE.
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I THINK THIS NEXT FISH HAS HAD A
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LITTLE WORK DONE.
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[LAUGHING]
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>> MORE LIKE THE SEXIEST CATCH.
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PUT 20 SECONDS ON THE CLOCK AND
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SEE HOW MANY FUNNY COMMENTS WE
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CAN MAKE.
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MAYBE THAT FISH WAS BORN WITH IT
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MAYBE IT'S MABELINE.
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THAT THING COULD NIBBLE ON MY
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FISHSTICK ANY DAY.
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MEG RYAN JUST DIDN'T HIT THE
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FISH WALL SHE SWAUPL UNDER IT.
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IT'S A FISH CALLED LAWANDA.
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>> REMEMBER DISABLED PEOPLE CAN
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BE JERKS TOO.
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>> PRETTY IMPRESSIVE.
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HE'S UNARMED AND DANGEROUS.
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I WOULD BE ANGRY TOO IF I
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COULDN'T GIVE HUGS.
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GOOD LUCK PUTTING HIM IN CUFFS.
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I BET THAT ATTITUDE CHANGES REAL
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QUICK WHEN HE NEEDS HIS ASS
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WIPED.
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WHAT'S NEXT?
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[LAUGHING]
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UFRPLTS I KNOW THEY'RE NOT
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WATCHING COMEDY CENTRAL.
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THEY'RE LAUGHING WAY TOO HARD.
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IT'S TIME FOR FEAR AND LOATHING
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IN THIS WEEK'S BREAKDOWN.
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[ APPLAUSE ]
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>> THESE TWO HAVE DECIDED TO SET
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UP A CAMERA IN THEIR DRUG DEN
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AND SMOKE SALVIA, WEED'S TRIPPY
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LITTLE BROTHER.
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I HAVE BEEN WATCHING DECORATORS
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AND THOSE BED SHEETS NAILED TO
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THE WINDOW BRING IT ALL
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TOGETHER.
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I DON'T KNOW WHY THEY WOULD WANT
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TO ESCAPE THIS REALTY BY DOING
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DRUGS.
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A TWO BONG HOME, IMPRESSIVE.
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NOTHING BRINGS PEOPLE TOGETHER
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LIKE WATCHING THE WALLS MELT.
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I YES YOUR PARENTS WERE WRONG,
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DRUGS ARE AWESOME AND WE SHOULD
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ALL DO THEM.
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OH, NO WE'RE LOSING THEM.
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THE FLOOR IS LAV OOH, AND SHE'S
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BEING HELD DOWN AND RAPED BY SIX
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SMURFS.
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IN THEATERS THIS WEEKEND.
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THIS IS YOUR WINDOW.
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THIS IS YOUR WINDOW ON SALVIA.
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ANY QUESTIONS?
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THAT'S WHY I ALWAYS DRUG ADDICT
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PROOF MY HOUSE BEFORE A BIG
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TRIP.
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>> OH HE REALLY HAD TO GET OUT
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OF THERE.
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MAYBE HE HAD A MOMENT OF CLARITY
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AND REALIZED DIVING THROUGH THE
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WINDOW WAS BETTER THAN ONE MORE
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MINUTE WITH HIS DRUGGY
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GIRLFRIEND.
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REMEMBER KIDS SALVIA IS
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COMPLETELY LEGAL AND YOU CAN BYE
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IS ANY WHERE ON-LINE.
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SALVIA.
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AND FOR THAT WE JUST SAY NO.
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WE WILL BE RIGHT BACK BUT FIRST
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LOOK AT THIS CLEVER BITCH.
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*
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*
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[LAUGHING]
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*
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>> THAT WAS A BRUTAL 5K.
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RUNNING IS WHAT POOR PEOPLE DO
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TO CATCH THE BUS.
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>> IF I WANTED TO TORTURE MYSELF
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WITH A MISERABLE ACTIVITY FOR A
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LONG TIME I WOULD BE IN A
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EXCLUSIVE RELATIONSHIP.
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RUNNING IS ALMOST AS BORING AS
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THOSE WHO CLAIM TO ENJOY IT.
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THE ONLY TIME I RUN IS AFTER
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EATING VIETNAMESE SOUP AND THE
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ENDLINE IS A TOILET.
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THE WALL YOU'RE HITTING IS YOUR
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BODY TELLING YOU, YOU ARE ABOUT
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TO DIE.
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I KNOW RUNNING IS ABOUT TO CLEAR
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YOUR HEAD.
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SO IS WHACKING OFF AND YOU DON'T
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HAVE TO STRETCH FIRST BUT I
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CHOOSE TOO.
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IT'S A EXCUSE TO POST UP AT THE
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OLIVE GARDEN AND HIT THE NEVER
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ENDING PASTA BOWL.
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THE FINISH LINE EVERYONE IS
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WRAPPED LIKE A BAKED POTATO
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WONDERING WHEN THEIR TOE NAILS
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WILL GROW BACK.
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THE ONLY REASON MARATHONS ARE
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AROUND IS SO 20,000 WHITE PEOPLE
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CAN CHASE 3 BLACK PEOPLE THROUGH
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THE STREETS OF BOSTON LIKE THE
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GOOD OLD DAYS.
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NOBODY WILL BEAT A KENYAN THEY
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HAVE BEEN RUNNING FROM THINGS
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ALL OF THEIR LIVES PWAO*EUPBS,
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TIGERS AND AIDS, OH MY.
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BUT I INVITE YOU ALL TO JOIN THE
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TOSH.O MARATHON.
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>> WELCOME EVERYBODY TO HERMOSA
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BEACH, CALIFORNIA.
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THIS IS THE 150,000-DOLLAR
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TOSH.O TREADMILL MARATHON
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BROUGHT TO YOU BY SOBE.
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ON YOUR MARK, GET SET, ENTER
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YOUR WEIGHT AND PICK A CYCLE
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THAT IS APPROPRIATE FOR YOUR
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ABILITY.
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(GUN SHOT )
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*
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>> YOUR ONLY OPPONENT IS YOUR
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SELF AND THAT BLACK GUY.
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(CHEERS).
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>> I HAVE NEVER RAN A MARATHON
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AND I HAVE DONE ZERO TRAINING.
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I WILL HAVE YOU IN NO TIME MY
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FRIEND.
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(CHEERS )
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>> IT'S REALLY DANGEROUS.
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THAT'S THE PACE I WOULD KEEP UP
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BUT I HAVE THINGS TO DO.
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WHAT IS YOUR NAME?
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>> --
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>> ARE YOU FROM KENYA?
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>> YES.
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>> IS YOUR SWEAT SALTY OR SPEUR
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SYRUPY?
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IS THIS HOW YOU STAY IN SHAPE
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DURING MURDER BALL OFF SEASON.
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>> YES.
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>> ARE THERE CAT WALKS THERE ARE
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26 MILES LONG.
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>> THERE IS NOW.
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>> IF ANYBODY NEEDS SUNBLOCK,
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LET ME KNOW?
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WE HAVE A SPECIAL SUNBLOCK WE
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WILL APPLY.
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>> THANK YOU.
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>> HOW ABOUT A ROUND OF APPLAUSE
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FOR OUR U.S. MARINES.
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[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
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>> AND IN BETWEEN THEM A PERSON
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OF INTEREST.
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YOU CAN'T OUT RUN FREEDOM.
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IS WATERBOARDING A GOOD WAY TO
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HYDRATE.
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SORRY ABOUT OSAMA.
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*
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>> WHERE DO YOU LIVE?
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I'M SO SORRY, I ALMOST KILLED
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THE LAST PANDA.
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DID YOU BAMBOO LOAD FOR THIS?
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THERE IS NEVER A GOOD TIME FOR
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IMPROMTU COMEDY SO PLEASE
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WELCOME CATCH ME IF YOU CAN.
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>> HI, EVERYBODY.
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>> DYE?
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DIE.
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>> WHO IS HUNGRY.
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LET'S BRING OUT SOME SERVERS.
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WE HAVE CHICKEN WINGS.
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THIS GUY NEEDS BLUE CHEESE.
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WE HAVE A SUICIDE DRINK GOING
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OUT.
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PLEASE MAKE SURE IF YOU THROW UP
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TO WIPE DOWN YOUR MACHINE
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AFTERWARDS.
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DON'T YOU WISH YOU WOULD OF
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REGISTERED EARLIER.
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DID YOU PICK THE MACHINE YOU ARE
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ON?
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>> NO, YOU PICKED THEM OUT.
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>> THAT MUST BE THE WORST FOR
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THE MARATHON OR RUNNING IN
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PLACE.
268
00:11:32,267 --> 00:11:35,067
COME ON, PICK UP, PICK IT UP.
269
00:11:35,067 --> 00:11:36,697
>> DOES ANYBODY WANT TO GO ON A
270
00:11:36,700 --> 00:11:38,130
DATE WITH ME?
271
00:11:38,133 --> 00:11:41,103
>> WHERE ARE YOU FROM, ALISON.
272
00:11:41,100 --> 00:11:42,430
>> HERMOSA BEACH.
273
00:11:42,433 --> 00:11:44,073
>> HERMOSA BEACH.
274
00:11:44,067 --> 00:11:46,227
WHY DON'T YOU TAKE A BITE, YOU
275
00:11:46,233 --> 00:11:48,733
MAKE ME THINK YOU'RE A GIRL WHO
276
00:11:48,733 --> 00:11:49,373
WON'T EAT.
277
00:11:49,367 --> 00:11:50,767
I LOVE THEM.
278
00:11:50,767 --> 00:11:51,667
THEY STAY THIN.
279
00:11:51,667 --> 00:11:51,927
YOU.
280
00:11:51,933 --> 00:11:53,233
>> HOW IS THE SEAT.
281
00:11:53,233 --> 00:11:54,903
>> IT HURTS MY BUTT.
282
00:11:54,900 --> 00:11:56,470
>> HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN
283
00:11:56,467 --> 00:11:56,897
STANDING HERE.
284
00:11:56,900 --> 00:11:57,670
>> AN HOUR.
285
00:11:57,667 --> 00:11:59,627
>> I FEEL LIKE I MIGHT POP OUT
286
00:11:59,633 --> 00:12:00,703
OF MY SHORTS.
287
00:12:00,700 --> 00:12:02,470
>> IS THIS WHAT YOU THOUGHT YOU
288
00:12:02,467 --> 00:12:03,667
WOULD BE DOING TODAY.
289
00:12:03,667 --> 00:12:05,127
>> NOT REALLY.
290
00:12:05,133 --> 00:12:06,603
>> IT'S AMAZING THIS MANY PEOPLE
291
00:12:06,600 --> 00:12:09,300
ARE WASTING THEIR DAY.
292
00:12:09,300 --> 00:12:12,170
*
293
00:12:12,167 --> 00:12:14,367
>> I WAS ON AN AIRPLANE ONCE.
294
00:12:14,367 --> 00:12:17,067
THIS GIRL TOLD ME, SHE SAYS DOES
295
00:12:17,067 --> 00:12:19,597
MY BREATH SMELL LIKE TACOS.
296
00:12:19,600 --> 00:12:22,070
>> I SAID I DON'T KNOW DO YOU
297
00:12:22,067 --> 00:12:23,697
PUT [BEEP] IN YOUR TACOS.
298
00:12:23,700 --> 00:12:26,470
>> ARE YOU A TODD BLACK FAN?
299
00:12:26,467 --> 00:12:28,667
WHO NEEDS A NEW TEE SHIRT?
300
00:12:28,667 --> 00:12:31,527
FIRE IN THE HOLE.
301
00:12:31,533 --> 00:12:32,333
>> OKAY.
302
00:12:32,333 --> 00:12:34,073
THAT WAS A BAD IDEA.
303
00:12:34,067 --> 00:12:39,667
THAT'S HOW WE LEARN.
304
00:12:46,567 --> 00:12:49,127
>> THIS HAS BEEN A MAGICAL DAY.
305
00:12:49,133 --> 00:12:56,833
IT'S ABOUT TO GET MORE MAGICAL.
306
00:12:56,833 --> 00:12:58,373
>> WHAT?
307
00:12:58,367 --> 00:13:00,597
IF YOU BELIEVE IN GOD YOU
308
00:13:00,600 --> 00:13:02,070
PROBABLY BELIEVE IN THAT.
309
00:13:02,067 --> 00:13:02,597
THAT'S AWESOME.
310
00:13:02,600 --> 00:13:04,330
LET'S CHECK IN ON OUR GOOD
311
00:13:04,333 --> 00:13:05,803
FRIEND FROM KENYA.
312
00:13:05,800 --> 00:13:08,430
SEE WHERE HE IS AT?
313
00:13:08,433 --> 00:13:08,803
23 MILES.
314
00:13:08,800 --> 00:13:11,070
IT'S NOT TOO LATE TO CATCH HIM.
315
00:13:11,067 --> 00:13:13,767
WE BROUGHT YOU THIS NEXT ACT ALL
316
00:13:13,767 --> 00:13:16,067
THE WAY FROM 1977 WHEN SWING
317
00:13:16,067 --> 00:13:19,667
DANCING WAS SORT OF ACCEPTABLE.
318
00:13:19,667 --> 00:13:26,497
*
319
00:13:28,067 --> 00:13:29,327
[LAUGHING]
320
00:13:29,333 --> 00:13:31,803
>> STROKE, STROKE.
321
00:13:31,800 --> 00:13:37,070
>> GUYS, WE LOST A RUNNER.
322
00:13:37,067 --> 00:13:38,667
>> THINK OF THE AMOUNT OF
323
00:13:38,667 --> 00:13:40,727
TRAFFIC YOU'RE NOT CLOGGING UP
324
00:13:40,733 --> 00:13:44,573
RIGHT NOW.
325
00:13:46,767 --> 00:13:47,827
>> 26 MILES.
326
00:13:47,833 --> 00:13:49,333
HE HIT 26 MILES.
327
00:13:49,333 --> 00:13:49,903
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
328
00:13:49,900 --> 00:13:53,170
>> HE'S ON THE HOME STRETCH.
329
00:13:53,167 --> 00:13:56,067
*
330
00:13:56,067 --> 00:13:59,427
>> AHHH!
331
00:13:59,433 --> 00:14:02,103
OKAY, EVERYBODY PAUSE YOUR
332
00:14:02,100 --> 00:14:02,470
MACHINES.
333
00:14:02,467 --> 00:14:03,067
RECORD YOUR TIMES.
334
00:14:03,067 --> 00:14:05,627
THIS IS WHERE YOU WILL FINISH.
335
00:14:05,633 --> 00:14:10,103
STOP RUNNING.
336
00:14:10,100 --> 00:14:11,330
>> ANY WORDS?
337
00:14:11,333 --> 00:14:13,403
>> I'M SO THANKFUL FOR YOU
338
00:14:13,400 --> 00:14:14,400
BRINGING ME HERE.
339
00:14:14,400 --> 00:14:20,730
I'M HAPPY TO RUN WITH YOU GUYS.
340
00:14:20,733 --> 00:14:23,473
MY FASTEST TIME ON THE
341
00:14:23,467 --> 00:14:23,827
TREADMILL.
342
00:14:23,833 --> 00:14:24,433
THANK YOU, VERY MUCH.
343
00:14:24,433 --> 00:14:28,403
[ APPLAUSE ]
344
00:14:28,400 --> 00:14:32,070
>> YOU WILL GET HIM NEXT TIME.
345
00:14:32,067 --> 00:14:34,797
*
346
00:14:36,200 --> 00:14:38,730
[ APPLAUSE ]
347
00:14:38,733 --> 00:14:41,273
>> THE GUY ON THE STAIR MASTER
348
00:14:41,267 --> 00:14:43,697
DIDN'T WIN BUT HE COMPLETED
349
00:14:43,700 --> 00:14:44,170
19 MILES.
350
00:14:44,167 --> 00:14:47,697
THAT'S LIKE LIVING IN A 247,000
351
00:14:47,700 --> 00:14:49,600
STORY WALKUP.
352
00:14:49,600 --> 00:14:50,970
THANKS TO EVERYONE WHO CAME OUT
353
00:14:50,967 --> 00:14:52,927
AND SUPPORTED US.
354
00:14:52,933 --> 00:14:56,573
OUR SPONSOR SOBE AND MITCHUM
355
00:14:56,567 --> 00:14:57,167
ADVANCE CONTROL.
356
00:14:57,167 --> 00:14:58,627
WITHOUT YOU I WOULDN'T BE
357
00:14:58,633 --> 00:14:59,603
CONSIDERED A SELL OUT.
358
00:14:59,600 --> 00:15:04,870
>> THE TOSH.O TREADMILL MARATHON
359
00:15:04,867 --> 00:15:07,067
WAS BROUGHT TO YOU BY MITCHUM
360
00:15:07,067 --> 00:15:07,697
ADVANCE CONTROL.
361
00:15:07,700 --> 00:15:09,200
>> WE GET IT.
362
00:15:09,200 --> 00:15:10,770
WE WILL BE RIGHT BACK BUT FIRST
363
00:15:10,767 --> 00:15:17,127
HERE IS SOME VEHICLEULAR
364
00:15:17,133 --> 00:15:17,433
MANSLAUGHTER.
365
00:15:26,567 --> 00:15:28,127
>> VALLEY TRADITIONAL HIGH
366
00:15:28,133 --> 00:15:30,133
SCHOOL IS IN THE MIDDLE OF A
367
00:15:30,133 --> 00:15:31,903
RACIAL CONTROVERSY RIGHT NOW.
368
00:15:31,900 --> 00:15:34,730
A TEACHER USED THE "N" WORD
369
00:15:34,733 --> 00:15:36,533
TOWARDS THE STUDENT.
370
00:15:36,533 --> 00:15:40,533
>> WHAT DESAY SPECIFICALLY TO
371
00:15:40,533 --> 00:15:40,833
YOU?
372
00:15:40,833 --> 00:15:45,373
>> SIT DOWN N.
373
00:15:45,367 --> 00:15:47,927
>> KEYSHAWN USED THE N WORD
374
00:15:47,933 --> 00:15:48,333
FIRST.
375
00:15:48,333 --> 00:15:50,773
>> I WAS STUNNED AND SAID GET
376
00:15:50,767 --> 00:15:53,197
AWAY FROM THE DOOR N.
377
00:15:53,200 --> 00:15:55,670
I REPEATED THE SAME INSULT
378
00:15:55,667 --> 00:15:58,267
THAT'S SORT OF WHAT I'VE BEEN
379
00:15:58,267 --> 00:15:58,797
TRAINED TO DO.
380
00:15:58,800 --> 00:16:03,170
>> THAT'S HOW HE WAS TRAINED BY
381
00:16:03,167 --> 00:16:04,327
WHOM, MEL GIBSON.
382
00:16:04,333 --> 00:16:07,503
A WHITE GAY SAYING THE N WORD.
383
00:16:07,500 --> 00:16:11,100
IT MIGHT BE TIME TO PLAY IS IT
384
00:16:11,100 --> 00:16:11,530
RACIST.
385
00:16:11,533 --> 00:16:13,433
YOUR FAVORITE GAME SHOW IN A
386
00:16:13,433 --> 00:16:15,403
CLIP SHOW.
387
00:16:15,400 --> 00:16:18,330
>> DOES NOT LIKE THE WORD, FEEL
388
00:16:18,333 --> 00:16:19,273
MORE COMFORTABLE --
389
00:16:19,267 --> 00:16:28,427
>> YES I USED NIGGAH.
390
00:16:28,433 --> 00:16:32,633
I PUT THE H ONTO EMPHASIZE
391
00:16:32,633 --> 00:16:34,203
NIGGAH.
392
00:16:34,200 --> 00:16:35,070
NIGGAH, PLEASE.
393
00:16:35,067 --> 00:16:39,127
YOU KNOW CAN YOU LEND A NIGGAH A
394
00:16:39,133 --> 00:16:39,773
PENCIL.
395
00:16:39,767 --> 00:16:44,367
>> I ASSUME HE NEEDS IT FOR
396
00:16:44,367 --> 00:16:45,467
POETRY SLAM.
397
00:16:45,467 --> 00:16:49,167
I THINK IF EMINEM WON'T SAY IT
398
00:16:49,167 --> 00:16:52,297
YOU SHOULDN'T USE IT IN YOUR
399
00:16:52,300 --> 00:16:53,570
SOPHOMORE ENGLISH CLASS.
400
00:16:53,567 --> 00:16:57,067
>> I WILL NEVER USE A FORM OF
401
00:16:57,067 --> 00:16:57,367
NIGGAH.
402
00:16:57,367 --> 00:16:59,327
>> STARTING NOW I'M NEVER SAYING
403
00:16:59,333 --> 00:17:00,603
IT AGAIN.
404
00:17:00,600 --> 00:17:02,330
YOU KNOW, GIVE ME THE WEEKEND
405
00:17:02,333 --> 00:17:03,673
I'M GOING TO OAKLAND.
406
00:17:03,667 --> 00:17:05,727
I GET WHAT HE'S SAYING.
407
00:17:05,733 --> 00:17:12,173
IF YOU ADD AN H IT'S NOT RACIST.
408
00:17:12,167 --> 00:17:19,427
IT'S YOUR CLASSIC TOMATO AND TOM
409
00:17:19,433 --> 00:17:19,773
TOMATOH.
410
00:17:19,767 --> 00:17:21,567
>> I SAW YOU KISSING HER.
411
00:17:21,567 --> 00:17:23,167
THAT'S YOUR EXCUSE?
412
00:17:23,167 --> 00:17:25,497
THAT'S YOUR EXCUSE.
413
00:17:25,500 --> 00:17:27,130
>> TRIPPING.
414
00:17:27,133 --> 00:17:31,073
>> I SAID --
415
00:17:31,067 --> 00:17:32,967
>> CAN I GET ONE.
416
00:17:32,967 --> 00:17:40,467
>> SURE ANYTHING FOR MY WET
417
00:17:40,467 --> 00:17:41,127
BACKHAS.
418
00:17:41,133 --> 00:17:44,473
>> THOSE PICKAHS ARE SENSITIVE.
419
00:17:44,467 --> 00:17:46,867
>> DID YOU FINISH WITH THE BOOK
420
00:17:46,867 --> 00:17:47,127
YET?
421
00:17:47,133 --> 00:17:49,973
>> IT'S A TERM OF ENDEARMENT.
422
00:17:49,967 --> 00:17:53,497
CAN A KIKAH GET A PENCIL.
423
00:17:53,500 --> 00:17:58,970
SAVE SOME FOR THE REST OF US YOU
424
00:17:58,967 --> 00:18:03,227
DIABETES CRAPHA.
425
00:18:03,233 --> 00:18:11,133
>> IS IT RACIST?
426
00:18:11,133 --> 00:18:12,273
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
427
00:18:12,267 --> 00:18:14,527
>> GUYS, I DON'T KNOW WHAT
428
00:18:14,533 --> 00:18:16,233
YOU'RE CHEERING ABOUT A THUMBS
429
00:18:16,233 --> 00:18:18,173
UP MAINS IT IS RACIST.
430
00:18:18,167 --> 00:18:20,367
DON'T FORGET TO OUR BLOG TO UP
431
00:18:20,367 --> 00:18:22,927
LOAD A CHANCE TO BE OUR VIEWER
432
00:18:22,933 --> 00:18:23,233
VIDEO.
433
00:18:23,233 --> 00:18:25,373
THIS WEEK'S WINNER IS FROM GREG
434
00:18:25,367 --> 00:18:25,667
BECK.
435
00:18:25,667 --> 00:18:29,327
>> YOU KNOW WHAT I'M REALLY GOOD
436
00:18:29,333 --> 00:18:29,733
AT.
437
00:18:29,733 --> 00:18:31,073
>> WHAT.
438
00:18:31,067 --> 00:18:32,867
>> HIDE AND SEEK.
439
00:18:32,867 --> 00:18:36,067
>> I BET I CAN FIND YOU TOO
440
00:18:36,067 --> 00:18:37,797
EASY, I'M TOO GOOD.
441
00:18:37,800 --> 00:18:41,170
>> THERE IS NO SKILL IN HIDE AND
442
00:18:41,167 --> 00:18:41,627
SEEK.
443
00:18:41,633 --> 00:18:41,933
GREG?
444
00:18:41,933 --> 00:18:42,803
WHERE DID YOU GO.
445
00:18:42,800 --> 00:18:46,130
>> I WAS BAD AT SMEAR THE [BEEP]
446
00:18:46,133 --> 00:18:46,903
AS A KID.
447
00:18:46,900 --> 00:18:49,070
I LOVED GETTING SMEARED.
448
00:18:49,067 --> 00:18:59,067
WE WILL BE BACK WITH MORE AFTER
449
00:18:59,067 --> 00:18:59,827
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
450
00:18:59,833 --> 00:19:00,903
>> WELCOME BACK.
451
00:19:00,900 --> 00:19:03,700
NO I'M NOT ON GOGGLE PLUS.
452
00:19:03,700 --> 00:19:04,600
NO ONE SHOULD BE.
453
00:19:04,600 --> 00:19:07,070
NEXT WEEK WE FINALLY HEAD TO
454
00:19:07,067 --> 00:19:11,527
BAMA TO SEE IF THERE REALLY IS A
455
00:19:11,533 --> 00:19:11,903
LEPERCAHN.
456
00:19:11,900 --> 00:19:13,930
>> SOME SAY A LEPERCAHN IS
457
00:19:13,933 --> 00:19:16,503
TAKING UP RESIDENCE IN THEIR
458
00:19:16,500 --> 00:19:16,930
NEIGHBORHOOD.
459
00:19:16,933 --> 00:19:19,603
>> MANY SAY THE LEPERCAHN LOOKS
460
00:19:19,600 --> 00:19:19,900
LIKE.
461
00:19:19,900 --> 00:19:23,930
>> THIS IS THE FIRST LEPERCAHN
462
00:19:23,933 --> 00:19:24,233
FLUTE.
463
00:19:24,233 --> 00:19:25,673
HAS BEEN PASSED DOWN FROM MY
464
00:19:25,667 --> 00:19:27,767
GREAT, GREAT GRAND FATHER WHO IS
465
00:19:27,767 --> 00:19:28,067
IRISH.
466
00:19:28,067 --> 00:19:29,727
I'M JUST HELPING OUT.
467
00:19:29,733 --> 00:19:31,633
>> SAY YEAH!
468
00:19:31,633 --> 00:19:33,873
>> THAT'S WHAT THE NEWS COVERS
469
00:19:33,867 --> 00:19:38,667
WHEN THE ENTIRE STATE HASN'T
470
00:19:38,667 --> 00:19:39,497
FINISHED FIFTH GRADE.
471
00:19:39,500 --> 00:19:43,070
>> FIND ME ON TWITTER SO WE CAN
472
00:19:43,067 --> 00:19:45,527
LIVE CHAT, AND COME SEE ME ON
473
00:19:45,533 --> 00:19:45,833
TOUR.
474
00:19:45,833 --> 00:19:50,133
NOW MY FAVORITE WEBSITE
475
00:19:50,133 --> 00:19:51,273
HOMEMADESEXTOYS.COM.
476
00:19:51,267 --> 00:19:54,467
IT TEACHES YOU HOW TO MAKE SEX
477
00:19:54,467 --> 00:19:56,967
TOYS OUT OF THINGS LYING AROUND
478
00:19:56,967 --> 00:19:57,797
THE HOUSE.
479
00:19:57,800 --> 00:20:01,570
LIKE A SPONGE OFF.
480
00:20:01,567 --> 00:20:03,797
THERE ARE OPTIONS FOR YOU GIRLS
481
00:20:03,800 --> 00:20:04,070
TOO.
482
00:20:04,067 --> 00:20:06,967
LIKE THE BALLOON RUB.
483
00:20:06,967 --> 00:20:09,527
MAKE A WATER BALLOON, COAT IT
484
00:20:09,533 --> 00:20:13,633
WITH K-Y AND RUB IT ON YOUR RED
485
00:20:13,633 --> 00:20:13,973
SNAPPER.
486
00:20:13,967 --> 00:20:16,467
THESE INSPIRED ME TO MAKE MY OWN
487
00:20:16,467 --> 00:20:19,067
SEX TOY AND SO FAR THE LADIES
488
00:20:19,067 --> 00:20:19,527
LOVE IT.
489
00:20:19,533 --> 00:20:21,903
>> THANKS FOR TESTING THE SEX
490
00:20:21,900 --> 00:20:22,730
ZIP LINE.
491
00:20:22,733 --> 00:20:24,773
>> HOW DOES THIS WORK.
492
00:20:24,767 --> 00:20:29,527
>> I AM GOING TO ZIP INTO YOUR
493
00:20:29,533 --> 00:20:30,173
SNIVICH.
494
00:20:30,167 --> 00:20:30,827
>> FAIR ENOUGH.
495
00:20:30,833 --> 00:20:32,503
>> I CAN'T HOLD IT.
496
00:20:32,500 --> 00:20:36,370
I'M A -- I'M ABOUT ...
497
00:20:36,367 --> 00:20:39,127
I'M SO SORRY.
498
00:20:39,133 --> 00:20:40,733
THIS HAS NEVER HAPPENED TO ME
499
00:20:40,733 --> 00:20:41,073
BEFORE.
500
00:20:41,067 --> 00:20:43,227
YOU KNOW WHAT MAYBE YOU SHOULD
501
00:20:43,233 --> 00:20:43,573
JUST.
502
00:20:43,567 --> 00:20:45,567
GO I WILL CALL YOU TOMORROW.
503
00:20:45,567 --> 00:20:47,327
>> ARE YOU KIDDING ME.
504
00:20:47,333 --> 00:20:48,773
>> GET THE [BEEP] OUT OF MY
505
00:20:48,767 --> 00:20:49,067
HOUSE.
506
00:20:49,067 --> 00:20:51,967
>> YOU ASSHOLE.
507
00:20:53,833 --> 00:20:58,233
>> YOUR ZIP LINE SUCKS.
508
00:20:58,233 --> 00:21:05,203
>> THANKS FOR HELPING US OUT,
509
00:21:05,200 --> 00:21:05,570
JESSA.
510
00:21:05,567 --> 00:21:08,567
I STILL CAN'T BELIEVE DAKOTA
511
00:21:08,567 --> 00:21:10,367
FANNING PASSED ON THAT BIT.
512
00:21:10,367 --> 00:21:15,497
SEE YOU NEXT WEEK.
513
00:21:15,500 --> 00:21:19,630
>> I'M SORRY IS THAT NEVER
514
00:21:19,633 --> 00:21:20,073
HAPPENS.
515
00:21:20,067 --> 00:21:23,067
IS IT COOL IF YOU JUST --
516
00:21:23,067 --> 00:21:25,197
I FORGOT WHAT WAS AFTER THAT.
517
00:21:25,200 --> 00:21:28,230
GIVE ME A BOX OR SOMETHING.
518
00:21:28,233 --> 00:21:29,803
OH [BEEP].
519
00:21:29,800 --> 00:21:31,500
OH, LIFT ME THEN I HAVE NO
520
00:21:31,500 --> 00:21:33,130
CHOICE.
31791
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