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1
00:00:00,875 --> 00:00:03,075
(upbeat music)
2
00:00:06,792 --> 00:00:08,672
(straining)
3
00:00:08,750 --> 00:00:10,210
(grunts, breathes heavily)
4
00:00:12,250 --> 00:00:13,920
Oh!
5
00:00:14,792 --> 00:00:16,292
(pants)
6
00:00:17,041 --> 00:00:19,381
(grunting)
7
00:00:19,458 --> 00:00:21,628
Man, he's really struggling
with that thing.
8
00:00:21,709 --> 00:00:22,749
Looks pretty heavy.
9
00:00:25,166 --> 00:00:26,456
I can't sit here and watch this.
10
00:00:26,542 --> 00:00:27,712
I'm gonna go give him some help.
11
00:00:29,333 --> 00:00:30,383
Lift with your legs!
12
00:00:30,458 --> 00:00:31,328
(snaps fingers)
13
00:00:32,625 --> 00:00:34,915
Aww, you're a good friend.
14
00:00:35,000 --> 00:00:36,250
That's what I do.
15
00:00:36,875 --> 00:00:38,035
Yo, so what's in the trunk?
16
00:00:38,125 --> 00:00:39,535
I'll give you a hint.
17
00:00:39,625 --> 00:00:41,915
You wouldn't be standing
here today without it.
18
00:00:42,667 --> 00:00:44,537
You locked my mother in the trunk!
19
00:00:44,625 --> 00:00:46,375
- (gasps)
- (speaks Spanish)
20
00:00:46,500 --> 00:00:47,960
Okay, okay, okay.
21
00:00:48,291 --> 00:00:50,081
Your mother's not in the trunk.
22
00:00:51,583 --> 00:00:52,583
Hey, dude, um,
23
00:00:52,667 --> 00:00:54,667
what are you doing
with a bunch of old clothes?
24
00:00:54,750 --> 00:00:57,080
These are artifacts from
the Battle of Seaford Hill.
25
00:00:57,166 --> 00:00:59,956
The President of the Historical Society
hand-selected me
26
00:01:00,041 --> 00:01:01,671
to be the director of the reenactment.
27
00:01:02,291 --> 00:01:03,671
Wait, aren't you the president?
28
00:01:03,750 --> 00:01:04,960
I said "hand-selected."
29
00:01:05,542 --> 00:01:07,632
Dude, I hate when they do the reenactment.
30
00:01:07,709 --> 00:01:10,629
It reminds everyone
I'm related to Cook Martinez, the traitor.
31
00:01:10,709 --> 00:01:13,419
Oh, come on, Jerry,
that was 200 years ago.
32
00:01:13,500 --> 00:01:16,170
I'm sure nobody remembers
that Cook Martinez got all the troops sick
33
00:01:16,250 --> 00:01:17,630
and almost cost Seaford the battle.
34
00:01:17,709 --> 00:01:18,879
Watch this.
35
00:01:22,417 --> 00:01:23,747
Crowd: Boo!
36
00:01:28,792 --> 00:01:30,632
Yeah, I'm gonna say they still remember.
37
00:01:34,417 --> 00:01:36,377
Anyone want an egg? Got one left.
38
00:01:39,709 --> 00:01:40,999
For the reenactment tomorrow,
39
00:01:41,083 --> 00:01:43,963
I got Bobby Wasabi to play
the French general, LaPew.
40
00:01:44,041 --> 00:01:46,001
Now I just need someone
to play General Douglas.
41
00:01:46,125 --> 00:01:47,825
Oh, oh, oh.
42
00:01:47,917 --> 00:01:49,377
(whining)
43
00:01:50,333 --> 00:01:51,753
Pick me! Pick me!
44
00:01:51,834 --> 00:01:53,754
You guys know I'm 1/64th Douglas, right?
45
00:01:54,458 --> 00:01:56,628
Both: Yes, you keep telling us.
46
00:01:57,417 --> 00:01:58,667
Come on, Milton.
47
00:01:59,750 --> 00:02:00,790
Look at me.
48
00:02:00,875 --> 00:02:03,035
I would make the perfect General Douglas.
49
00:02:03,125 --> 00:02:05,745
A lot of people say
I have very similar qualities to him,
50
00:02:05,875 --> 00:02:07,955
like courage, vision
51
00:02:08,041 --> 00:02:09,501
and a quiet understated grace.
52
00:02:09,583 --> 00:02:11,503
Yeah, he was also known
for his chronic battle
53
00:02:11,583 --> 00:02:12,923
- with lice.
- (screams)
54
00:02:13,792 --> 00:02:16,462
Uh, do you see any?
Pick 'em out! Pick 'em out!
55
00:02:16,542 --> 00:02:19,292
Rudy, relax. It's a 200-year-old wig.
56
00:02:19,375 --> 00:02:21,245
If there were any lice,
I'm sure they're all dead.
57
00:02:26,291 --> 00:02:28,881
Heh, maybe not all of them.
58
00:02:30,709 --> 00:02:33,079
Look, Milton, I really wanna play
General Douglas.
59
00:02:33,208 --> 00:02:34,708
I'll give you anything you want.
60
00:02:35,166 --> 00:02:36,326
I want to be sensei.
61
00:02:36,417 --> 00:02:38,247
Milton, relax.
Rudy's not gonna make you sen--
62
00:02:38,333 --> 00:02:39,333
Aah!
63
00:02:41,333 --> 00:02:42,463
Bow to your new sensei.
64
00:02:42,542 --> 00:02:44,422
- No!
- General Douglas says bow!
65
00:02:44,500 --> 00:02:45,790
Okay.
66
00:02:48,375 --> 00:02:51,665
♪ Don't you get all tough with me ♪
67
00:02:51,750 --> 00:02:55,580
♪ I'm saying won't you
Come kick it with me? ♪
68
00:02:55,667 --> 00:02:58,127
♪ And we could have a ball
Run up the wall ♪
69
00:02:58,208 --> 00:03:00,128
♪ That's just how we do ♪
70
00:03:00,208 --> 00:03:02,038
♪ And no matter how much
I chop and punch ♪
71
00:03:02,125 --> 00:03:04,785
♪ It's not as cool
As kickin' it with you ♪
72
00:03:04,875 --> 00:03:06,995
♪ Here we go, let's start the party ♪
73
00:03:07,083 --> 00:03:08,833
♪ Chop it up like it's karate ♪
74
00:03:08,917 --> 00:03:10,127
♪ Everybody ♪
75
00:03:10,208 --> 00:03:13,628
♪ Won't you come kick it with me? ♪
76
00:03:13,709 --> 00:03:16,169
♪ And we could have a ball
Run up the wall ♪
77
00:03:16,250 --> 00:03:18,130
♪ That's just how we do ♪
78
00:03:18,208 --> 00:03:20,128
♪ And no matter how much
I chop and punch ♪
79
00:03:20,208 --> 00:03:22,918
♪ It's not as cool
As kickin' it with you ♪
80
00:03:25,208 --> 00:03:27,208
(upbeat music)
81
00:03:30,375 --> 00:03:33,625
My play is an accurate portrayal
of the way the battle was won.
82
00:03:33,709 --> 00:03:35,579
Now, I've gone to great
detail to make sure
83
00:03:35,667 --> 00:03:37,577
everything is 100% authentic.
84
00:03:40,875 --> 00:03:43,995
Excuse me, soldier,
why is your shirt pink?
85
00:03:44,083 --> 00:03:46,713
Just because I'm a soldier,
Doesn't mean I can't have flare.
86
00:03:46,792 --> 00:03:49,632
No soldier ever fought
in a shirt that color.
87
00:03:49,709 --> 00:03:52,039
Well, I think it makes
the soldier's eyes pop.
88
00:03:52,125 --> 00:03:53,575
- Yep, it really does.
- (crowd mutters)
89
00:03:53,667 --> 00:03:54,957
- Thank you.
- Wha--
90
00:03:55,792 --> 00:03:58,632
Look, Milton, as a movie star,
91
00:03:58,709 --> 00:04:01,169
I have a vision for my character LaPew.
92
00:04:02,291 --> 00:04:05,171
I'm going to storm in,
declare victory in front of the whole town
93
00:04:05,291 --> 00:04:08,711
and then ride off on a white horse
with a beautiful maiden.
94
00:04:08,792 --> 00:04:10,082
That's not what happened.
95
00:04:10,166 --> 00:04:12,496
You surrendered in a blubbering
heap of embarrassment.
96
00:04:12,583 --> 00:04:15,713
Oh, well, I'll cancel the horse,
97
00:04:15,792 --> 00:04:17,252
but I'm keeping the maiden.
98
00:04:19,458 --> 00:04:22,078
All right, Rudy, let's rehearse
General Sherman's entrance.
99
00:04:22,542 --> 00:04:24,922
And... Action.
100
00:04:27,250 --> 00:04:28,960
Oh, good people of Seaford.
101
00:04:29,041 --> 00:04:32,541
It is I, your humble,
yet bemedaled leader,
102
00:04:32,625 --> 00:04:34,035
Sherman Douglas.
103
00:04:34,125 --> 00:04:36,535
Rudy, where'd you get all those medals?
104
00:04:36,625 --> 00:04:39,415
Oh, this one's for skee ball
105
00:04:39,500 --> 00:04:40,880
and this one's for selling cookies.
106
00:04:41,709 --> 00:04:43,499
Whoa, and this one's
from Chad's Steakhouse
107
00:04:43,583 --> 00:04:45,043
for eating a 40-ounce rump roast.
108
00:04:45,125 --> 00:04:46,535
All right.
109
00:04:47,083 --> 00:04:48,543
Where's the actual jacket
110
00:04:48,625 --> 00:04:50,745
that was worn by Douglas?
It was in the trunk.
111
00:04:50,834 --> 00:04:52,544
I left that old thing at the dojo.
112
00:04:52,625 --> 00:04:54,375
Now, if anyone needs me,
113
00:04:54,500 --> 00:04:56,210
I will be in my dressing room.
114
00:05:01,208 --> 00:05:03,458
(gagging)
115
00:05:03,542 --> 00:05:06,292
You would not believe what Bobby's doing
in my dressing room.
116
00:05:08,458 --> 00:05:10,078
It's my dressing room now.
117
00:05:16,458 --> 00:05:18,668
Crowd: Boo!
118
00:05:18,750 --> 00:05:20,040
(crowd jeering)
119
00:05:20,125 --> 00:05:21,915
(laughs)
120
00:05:22,333 --> 00:05:26,503
You kids got to get up pretty early
if you want to egg Jerry Martinez.
121
00:05:31,250 --> 00:05:33,250
You got up pretty early, didn't you, kid?
122
00:05:33,333 --> 00:05:34,833
It was worth it.
123
00:05:34,917 --> 00:05:36,327
That's it.
124
00:05:36,458 --> 00:05:38,128
- (grunts)
- (screaming)
125
00:05:39,166 --> 00:05:40,876
(screaming continues)
126
00:05:46,166 --> 00:05:47,206
(squeaks)
127
00:05:47,291 --> 00:05:48,791
(inaudible)
128
00:05:51,208 --> 00:05:52,128
(grunts)
129
00:05:52,208 --> 00:05:53,788
(sputters)
130
00:05:55,083 --> 00:05:56,043
(scoffs)
131
00:05:58,333 --> 00:06:01,963
Ugh! Stupid General Sherman's coat.
132
00:06:02,709 --> 00:06:04,169
This is all your fault.
133
00:06:04,250 --> 00:06:05,330
Ugh!
134
00:06:07,125 --> 00:06:08,165
Oh, that's it!
135
00:06:08,250 --> 00:06:10,040
(grunting)
136
00:06:13,750 --> 00:06:14,960
Huh?
137
00:06:18,375 --> 00:06:20,665
"Property of Cook Martinez"?
138
00:06:20,750 --> 00:06:22,750
(trumpets)
139
00:06:24,000 --> 00:06:25,670
Wow, that thing was really clogged.
140
00:06:27,000 --> 00:06:29,000
(upbeat music)
141
00:06:30,000 --> 00:06:31,960
And as the clock struck four bells,
142
00:06:32,041 --> 00:06:34,461
General LaPew surrendered
to General Douglas,
143
00:06:34,542 --> 00:06:36,132
who sealed it with his glove.
144
00:06:36,458 --> 00:06:38,458
(patriotic music playing)
145
00:06:39,458 --> 00:06:40,748
(grunts)
146
00:06:40,834 --> 00:06:44,044
And General LaPew sealed it right back!
147
00:06:47,458 --> 00:06:50,418
Not feeling that the surrender
was sealed entirely,
148
00:06:50,500 --> 00:06:52,000
Sherman sealed it again!
149
00:06:52,083 --> 00:06:53,543
(grunts)
150
00:06:55,417 --> 00:06:59,127
Feeling a glove
was no longer sufficient to seal it,
151
00:06:59,208 --> 00:07:01,628
General LaPew grabbed a nearby musket!
152
00:07:01,709 --> 00:07:03,789
I think we're all sealed up, thank you.
153
00:07:06,250 --> 00:07:08,460
And it was that treaty which ensured
154
00:07:08,542 --> 00:07:11,172
that General Douglas
would go down in history.
155
00:07:11,250 --> 00:07:13,210
(applauds)
156
00:07:15,583 --> 00:07:17,833
And that is why today we honor--
157
00:07:17,917 --> 00:07:20,127
The biggest liar is Seaford's history!
158
00:07:20,208 --> 00:07:21,958
(crowd gasps, murmurs)
159
00:07:22,041 --> 00:07:23,541
Bobby, pass me the musket.
160
00:07:23,625 --> 00:07:25,575
Jerry, what are you talking about?
161
00:07:25,667 --> 00:07:26,957
This.
162
00:07:27,959 --> 00:07:30,999
This diary holds Cook Martinez's secret.
163
00:07:31,083 --> 00:07:32,083
(scoffs)
164
00:07:32,166 --> 00:07:34,206
The secret should be that
the dude wrote in a diary.
165
00:07:34,291 --> 00:07:35,581
(laughs)
Am I right?
166
00:07:39,625 --> 00:07:42,075
Here's what really happened
at the battle of Seaford.
167
00:07:43,083 --> 00:07:45,043
"The year is 1814."
168
00:07:45,125 --> 00:07:47,375
(patriotic music)
169
00:07:47,458 --> 00:07:50,538
Jerry: We've been at war for 13 months
and our supplies are running out.
170
00:07:50,625 --> 00:07:53,495
in order to keep the soldiers fed,
I had to get creative in the kitchen.
171
00:07:54,041 --> 00:07:55,171
(sighs)
172
00:07:56,625 --> 00:07:57,745
Cook Martinez.
173
00:07:58,500 --> 00:08:00,460
The men are complaining about the stew.
174
00:08:00,542 --> 00:08:02,002
They say it tastes like an old boot.
175
00:08:02,083 --> 00:08:03,383
Why would they say that?
176
00:08:03,500 --> 00:08:05,040
'Cause I made it out of an old boot.
177
00:08:06,834 --> 00:08:09,334
Well, the pea soup isn't bad.
178
00:08:09,417 --> 00:08:10,957
Oh, great, I'll go make some more.
179
00:08:11,709 --> 00:08:13,499
Uh, I wouldn't eat that.
180
00:08:13,583 --> 00:08:15,753
- Why not?
- We never had any peas.
181
00:08:19,333 --> 00:08:20,713
This just isn't right.
182
00:08:20,750 --> 00:08:22,130
What little supplies we have left,
183
00:08:22,208 --> 00:08:24,208
the General is keeping for himself.
184
00:08:24,291 --> 00:08:26,711
It's because he's a mean, selfish leader
185
00:08:26,792 --> 00:08:28,082
who doesn't care about his men.
186
00:08:29,291 --> 00:08:30,631
What did you say, soldier?
187
00:08:31,458 --> 00:08:33,578
Uh, I said we should bring clean shellfish
188
00:08:33,667 --> 00:08:35,577
to the leader who does
his hair for his men.
189
00:08:36,583 --> 00:08:37,583
You got that right.
190
00:08:37,667 --> 00:08:40,577
I'm a four-star general
rocking a five-star coif.
191
00:08:44,792 --> 00:08:46,712
Sir, the men haven't eaten in three days.
192
00:08:46,792 --> 00:08:48,542
And we're about to go
into battle against LaPew.
193
00:08:48,625 --> 00:08:49,995
You think I don't know that?
194
00:08:50,083 --> 00:08:51,713
That's why I bought this meat.
195
00:08:51,792 --> 00:08:53,792
(flies buzzing)
196
00:08:57,458 --> 00:08:58,998
Sir, the men aren't gonna eat this.
197
00:08:59,083 --> 00:09:01,043
Why not? The flies seem to love it.
198
00:09:02,166 --> 00:09:04,286
No, check that.
Some of them seem to be sick.
199
00:09:06,208 --> 00:09:08,958
In fact, they're dropping like--
Well, you know...
200
00:09:09,417 --> 00:09:10,287
flies.
201
00:09:13,458 --> 00:09:15,498
Yo, I'm not sure this meat is even dead.
202
00:09:17,583 --> 00:09:18,673
(squelches)
203
00:09:22,125 --> 00:09:23,495
- (growls)
- (all scream)
204
00:09:33,000 --> 00:09:35,880
I can't believe we have
To serve this slop to our men.
205
00:09:35,959 --> 00:09:37,079
Our goat wouldn't eat this.
206
00:09:37,166 --> 00:09:38,626
I know, I tried giving it to her
207
00:09:38,709 --> 00:09:40,169
And she pulled a rifle on me.
208
00:09:41,125 --> 00:09:43,415
Uh, why aren't we eating the goat?
209
00:09:43,458 --> 00:09:44,748
I just told you.
210
00:09:44,834 --> 00:09:46,134
She pulled a rifle on me.
211
00:09:48,458 --> 00:09:50,708
(coughing)
212
00:09:50,792 --> 00:09:52,542
(groaning)
213
00:09:52,625 --> 00:09:54,125
(coughing)
214
00:09:54,208 --> 00:09:55,498
Hey, the men don't look good.
215
00:09:56,041 --> 00:09:59,381
Oh, come on, they may not be
the most handsome bunch,
216
00:09:59,458 --> 00:10:02,828
but if I were a lonely frontier woman,
I could find a husband here.
217
00:10:04,417 --> 00:10:06,747
For instance, look at Davis over there.
218
00:10:06,834 --> 00:10:08,334
In the right light, his cheekbones--
219
00:10:08,417 --> 00:10:10,667
No, no, no. The soldiers look sick.
220
00:10:10,792 --> 00:10:11,792
They're turning blue.
221
00:10:13,125 --> 00:10:16,375
Men, LaPew's army is advancing.
222
00:10:18,208 --> 00:10:20,958
But rest assured as you're
out there facing certain death,
223
00:10:21,041 --> 00:10:23,001
I will be right beside
224
00:10:23,083 --> 00:10:24,923
my toasty fire...
225
00:10:26,917 --> 00:10:28,827
Where I will be writing
a letter of condolence
226
00:10:28,917 --> 00:10:31,627
to officer Nate's hot wife, Annabelle.
227
00:10:31,917 --> 00:10:32,917
Nate's not dead.
228
00:10:33,000 --> 00:10:34,540
You just sent him on a scouting mission.
229
00:10:37,834 --> 00:10:39,424
Good news from the front.
230
00:10:39,500 --> 00:10:40,830
The enemy has surrendered, sir?
231
00:10:40,917 --> 00:10:42,417
No, Nate's been captured.
232
00:10:43,667 --> 00:10:45,287
General, these men are sick.
233
00:10:45,417 --> 00:10:47,747
You don't have an army
and the enemy are about to attack.
234
00:10:47,834 --> 00:10:48,674
You need a plan.
235
00:10:48,750 --> 00:10:50,040
You don't think I have a plan?
236
00:10:50,125 --> 00:10:52,625
(scoffs)
Oh, I have a plan.
237
00:10:54,750 --> 00:10:56,960
Have the pony express come pick me up.
238
00:10:58,667 --> 00:11:00,667
(harmonica playing)
239
00:11:02,542 --> 00:11:04,422
- (fiddle plays)
- Rudy: Whoa, whoa, whoa.
240
00:11:04,500 --> 00:11:06,750
Who are you? How did you get in my trunk?
241
00:11:06,834 --> 00:11:08,254
And do you know "Camptown Races"?
242
00:11:08,834 --> 00:11:11,464
( fiddle plays "Camptown Races")
243
00:11:13,667 --> 00:11:17,207
Guys, we're the only ones
who didn't eat the meat.
244
00:11:18,458 --> 00:11:20,078
It's up to us to save Seaford.
245
00:11:20,166 --> 00:11:21,376
We're just cooks.
246
00:11:21,458 --> 00:11:23,578
We don't know anything
about being soldiers
247
00:11:23,709 --> 00:11:25,829
or winning battles, or firing rifles.
248
00:11:25,917 --> 00:11:27,667
- (goat bleats)
- (gunshot)
249
00:11:27,750 --> 00:11:29,330
(bullet clinking)
250
00:11:29,917 --> 00:11:32,127
If that goat can figure it out, so can we.
251
00:11:36,917 --> 00:11:39,207
(light music)
252
00:11:49,792 --> 00:11:51,212
Yo, where'd you get the mustache?
253
00:11:51,834 --> 00:11:53,004
Oh, man, I don't know.
254
00:11:53,083 --> 00:11:55,043
Once I started ripping things off,
I couldn't stop.
255
00:11:57,041 --> 00:11:58,541
Okay, we got into the enemy camp,
256
00:11:58,625 --> 00:12:00,785
but are you sure your plan
to defeat them is gonna work?
257
00:12:00,875 --> 00:12:02,415
I know the plan's gonna work, okay?
258
00:12:02,500 --> 00:12:03,960
If this meat wiped out our army.
259
00:12:04,041 --> 00:12:05,291
It'll wipe out theirs.
260
00:12:05,875 --> 00:12:07,495
Oh, here comes General LaPew.
261
00:12:07,583 --> 00:12:08,963
Quick, act French.
262
00:12:09,041 --> 00:12:11,791
- Oh, ho, ho!
- Oui, oui!
263
00:12:11,875 --> 00:12:13,415
- Oh, ho, bonjour.
- Vive la France!
264
00:12:13,500 --> 00:12:15,290
- Oh, oui, oui.
- Fromage.
265
00:12:16,125 --> 00:12:17,325
(clears throat)
266
00:12:18,500 --> 00:12:21,500
(in French accent)
Tonight, I will claim Seaford for France.
267
00:12:21,583 --> 00:12:23,423
(cheering)
268
00:12:24,041 --> 00:12:27,631
I will show the world
that my army cannot be stopped!
269
00:12:27,709 --> 00:12:29,419
(soldiers cheer)
270
00:12:29,500 --> 00:12:31,170
And once they are defeated,
271
00:12:31,208 --> 00:12:33,328
I will sunbathe on their golden beaches
272
00:12:33,375 --> 00:12:36,285
in my teeny, weenie victory bikini!
273
00:12:36,375 --> 00:12:38,455
(soldiers retching)
274
00:12:38,542 --> 00:12:39,792
- What?
- (retching)
275
00:12:40,417 --> 00:12:43,247
Okay, so maybe I'm a little pasty,
but, I mean, come on, guys!
276
00:12:44,500 --> 00:12:46,790
They're not puking
'cause they're thinking of you sunbathing.
277
00:12:46,875 --> 00:12:49,995
(retches, groans)
I was.
278
00:12:51,959 --> 00:12:54,039
I tricked your men into eating bad meat.
279
00:12:55,709 --> 00:12:56,959
Ah!
280
00:12:57,041 --> 00:12:59,541
(gasps)
You are Americans!
281
00:13:00,333 --> 00:13:03,383
But when you were,
"bonjour, oui, oui, vive la France,"
282
00:13:03,458 --> 00:13:05,208
I totally believed you.
283
00:13:05,959 --> 00:13:07,789
You got no army left, LaPew.
284
00:13:07,875 --> 00:13:08,955
Surrender.
285
00:13:09,709 --> 00:13:10,539
(laughs)
286
00:13:10,625 --> 00:13:13,665
You are forgetting about
my elite group of soldiers
287
00:13:13,750 --> 00:13:15,670
who did not eat your meat.
288
00:13:15,750 --> 00:13:17,380
Prepare to battle
289
00:13:17,417 --> 00:13:19,707
the vegetariens.
290
00:13:20,667 --> 00:13:21,627
What?
291
00:13:22,834 --> 00:13:23,924
(clears throat)
292
00:13:24,000 --> 00:13:27,040
The vege-tariens!
293
00:13:27,959 --> 00:13:29,129
I'm sorry, one more time.
294
00:13:29,583 --> 00:13:30,883
They don't eat meat.
295
00:13:30,959 --> 00:13:32,419
Oh, you mean vegetarians.
296
00:13:32,500 --> 00:13:33,830
- You could have just said that.
- Ah!
297
00:13:33,917 --> 00:13:34,997
I so said that.
298
00:13:37,333 --> 00:13:38,793
(chuckles) oh.
299
00:13:38,875 --> 00:13:40,745
Your cookware
300
00:13:40,834 --> 00:13:43,084
is no match for our...
301
00:13:43,166 --> 00:13:45,036
Powerful muskets.
302
00:13:45,125 --> 00:13:47,075
(chuckles)
But first, we have to load them,
303
00:13:47,166 --> 00:13:48,626
so quick time-out!
304
00:13:49,709 --> 00:13:50,629
(LaPew humming)
305
00:13:50,709 --> 00:13:53,169
♪ La-da-dee, la-da-daa ♪
306
00:13:53,250 --> 00:13:55,750
So, how 'bout this weather
we're having, no?
307
00:13:55,834 --> 00:13:58,674
It really is nice.
The days are just delightful.
308
00:13:58,750 --> 00:14:00,250
And at night, you only
need a light jacket.
309
00:14:00,291 --> 00:14:02,081
Oh, yeah, so nice.
310
00:14:02,166 --> 00:14:03,826
- Milton: Yeah.
- What are we gonna do?
311
00:14:03,917 --> 00:14:04,997
They just called time-out.
312
00:14:05,667 --> 00:14:06,627
I got this.
313
00:14:07,291 --> 00:14:08,541
Time in!
314
00:14:08,625 --> 00:14:09,705
(gasps)
315
00:14:10,917 --> 00:14:12,957
I did not see that coming.
316
00:14:14,917 --> 00:14:16,417
Aah!
317
00:14:22,500 --> 00:14:24,210
- Aah!
- (grunts)
318
00:14:27,083 --> 00:14:28,713
(chuckles)
319
00:14:28,792 --> 00:14:30,752
(both grunt)
320
00:14:35,125 --> 00:14:37,205
(action music)
321
00:14:46,542 --> 00:14:47,962
Aah!
322
00:14:49,291 --> 00:14:50,961
Oh! Oh!
323
00:15:06,917 --> 00:15:08,787
(grunting)
324
00:15:18,625 --> 00:15:20,915
That's it, LaPew. It's over.
325
00:15:21,041 --> 00:15:22,081
It's time to surrender.
326
00:15:22,166 --> 00:15:24,206
I will never surrender.
327
00:15:24,291 --> 00:15:25,751
My men and I will fight--
328
00:15:25,834 --> 00:15:27,044
(men groan)
329
00:15:27,875 --> 00:15:29,035
Okay, I surrender.
330
00:15:31,500 --> 00:15:33,170
You did it. Your plan worked.
331
00:15:33,250 --> 00:15:34,460
- We won.
- That's it.
332
00:15:34,542 --> 00:15:36,132
- Wh-- Oh.
- It's over.
333
00:15:36,208 --> 00:15:37,538
Something's coming over me.
334
00:15:38,792 --> 00:15:40,632
This victory's gotten me so excited,
335
00:15:41,208 --> 00:15:43,578
I think-- I think I want to make a noise.
336
00:15:45,208 --> 00:15:46,998
Whoo!
337
00:15:47,083 --> 00:15:48,543
What was that?
338
00:15:49,792 --> 00:15:51,212
I'll tell you what that was.
339
00:15:51,291 --> 00:15:53,671
That was the sound of victory.
340
00:15:54,375 --> 00:15:55,875
It was the sound of liberty.
341
00:15:55,959 --> 00:15:59,039
That was the "whoo"
heard 'round the world.
342
00:15:59,125 --> 00:16:00,915
Jerry: Whoo!
343
00:16:01,000 --> 00:16:02,750
(echoing)
344
00:16:02,834 --> 00:16:05,834
Australian Man:
Crikey, who's "whooing" at this hour?
345
00:16:05,917 --> 00:16:08,457
(whoop echoing)
346
00:16:08,542 --> 00:16:11,832
Italian Man:
Mamma mia, that's a big "whoo."
347
00:16:11,917 --> 00:16:14,287
(whoop echoing)
348
00:16:14,375 --> 00:16:17,665
Space Alien: I think I just heard a "whoo"
come from Earth.
349
00:16:17,750 --> 00:16:19,040
Let's not destroy it.
350
00:16:21,458 --> 00:16:23,668
(light music)
351
00:16:26,166 --> 00:16:27,996
Rudy: LaPew? If that's you,
352
00:16:28,083 --> 00:16:30,583
I just want you to know I'm really French.
353
00:16:32,250 --> 00:16:33,380
(in French accent)
I swear.
354
00:16:33,458 --> 00:16:36,878
I am just sitting here wearing my beret,
355
00:16:36,959 --> 00:16:39,459
sharing a crepe with my French poodle.
356
00:16:39,542 --> 00:16:41,832
- (dog barks)
- Rudy: Down, Fifi!
357
00:16:43,542 --> 00:16:44,792
General, we did it.
358
00:16:44,875 --> 00:16:46,125
We defeated the enemy.
359
00:16:46,208 --> 00:16:47,878
What?
360
00:16:47,959 --> 00:16:49,879
- Yeah.
- We got a letter of surrender.
361
00:16:50,917 --> 00:16:52,667
We got their troops sick
with the bad meat.
362
00:16:52,750 --> 00:16:54,580
I wrote everything down
in my secret diary.
363
00:16:54,667 --> 00:16:55,537
(scoffs)
364
00:16:55,625 --> 00:16:58,245
Uh, the secret should be
that you're a dude with a diary.
365
00:16:58,291 --> 00:16:59,541
(laughing)
Am I right?
366
00:17:03,667 --> 00:17:07,207
So no one has seen
this diary or this letter?
367
00:17:07,291 --> 00:17:08,711
- Negative.
- Good.
368
00:17:09,291 --> 00:17:11,671
This surrender will mean a medal of valor,
369
00:17:11,750 --> 00:17:13,920
a badge of honor and a red sash.
370
00:17:14,000 --> 00:17:15,330
And do you know what follows that?
371
00:17:15,417 --> 00:17:16,417
Sash bash!
372
00:17:16,500 --> 00:17:19,920
Oh! I love putting on a sash
and dancing the night away.
373
00:17:21,291 --> 00:17:23,881
But not for you. For me.
374
00:17:23,959 --> 00:17:25,669
Arrest these traitors!
375
00:17:25,750 --> 00:17:27,380
- Wait, what?
- What are you talking about?
376
00:17:27,458 --> 00:17:30,208
- But we're heroes.
- No one will ever know that but me.
377
00:17:30,291 --> 00:17:31,631
Because without this,
378
00:17:31,709 --> 00:17:34,709
everyone will believe
that I single-handedly won the war.
379
00:17:34,792 --> 00:17:36,672
- Take them away.
- Are you kidding me?
380
00:17:36,750 --> 00:17:37,960
- Why would you?
- What?
381
00:17:38,041 --> 00:17:39,541
(Boys grunting)
382
00:17:41,583 --> 00:17:42,713
Nate?
383
00:17:44,291 --> 00:17:46,081
Thank goodness you've escaped.
384
00:17:47,000 --> 00:17:50,380
I'm sure your hot wife Annabelle
can't wait to see you.
385
00:17:52,500 --> 00:17:54,210
Guards, we have another traitor!
386
00:17:59,583 --> 00:18:02,173
Wow, so history got it wrong.
387
00:18:02,834 --> 00:18:05,174
General LaPew was the real hero.
388
00:18:07,291 --> 00:18:09,421
That's not what I said at all.
389
00:18:09,500 --> 00:18:12,290
Oh. Well, to be honest,
I missed most of your story.
390
00:18:13,000 --> 00:18:15,500
So Cook Martinez and his men
were the real heroes?
391
00:18:16,125 --> 00:18:17,165
That's right.
392
00:18:17,250 --> 00:18:20,580
And General Douglas had them jailed
so he could steal their glory.
393
00:18:21,125 --> 00:18:23,165
Crowd: boo!
394
00:18:23,250 --> 00:18:24,710
(jeering)
395
00:18:24,792 --> 00:18:28,212
What? I'm like 1/64th related to the dude.
396
00:18:28,291 --> 00:18:32,131
I mean, Milton's probably
more related to Douglas than I am.
397
00:18:32,208 --> 00:18:33,038
Let's get him!
398
00:18:33,125 --> 00:18:33,955
Jack and Milton: Rudy!
399
00:18:35,000 --> 00:18:37,580
As president of the historical society,
400
00:18:37,667 --> 00:18:38,787
I would like the record to show
401
00:18:38,875 --> 00:18:40,665
that we recognize General Douglas
402
00:18:40,750 --> 00:18:42,210
for what he was,
403
00:18:42,291 --> 00:18:44,541
- a traitor...
- (whimpers)
404
00:18:44,625 --> 00:18:46,535
- a coward...
- (whimpers)
405
00:18:46,625 --> 00:18:49,125
- and a liar.
- Uh, no, no, no.
406
00:18:49,250 --> 00:18:51,460
I may be related to
a traitor and a coward,
407
00:18:51,542 --> 00:18:52,752
but I earned that medal.
408
00:18:52,834 --> 00:18:53,834
You know how?
409
00:18:53,917 --> 00:18:55,247
By eating a 40-ounce rump.
410
00:18:56,542 --> 00:18:59,172
So, Milton, what are we gonna do
to honor Cook Martinez?
411
00:19:00,083 --> 00:19:01,293
I think I have an idea.
412
00:19:02,291 --> 00:19:03,881
From this day forward,
413
00:19:03,959 --> 00:19:05,579
let the good people of Seaford know
414
00:19:05,667 --> 00:19:08,327
that Cook Martinez
was the real hero of our town.
415
00:19:11,625 --> 00:19:14,035
(cheers, applauds)
416
00:19:14,959 --> 00:19:16,209
It's beautiful, Milton.
417
00:19:17,250 --> 00:19:18,540
Your family deserves this.
418
00:19:18,625 --> 00:19:19,665
It's long overdue.
419
00:19:20,083 --> 00:19:21,713
And on behalf of the entire town,
420
00:19:21,792 --> 00:19:23,132
Thanks for making this chili.
421
00:19:24,959 --> 00:19:26,209
Oh, yeah, it was fun.
422
00:19:26,291 --> 00:19:28,961
I just followed one of the recipes
that I found in my ancestor's diary.
423
00:19:29,041 --> 00:19:29,961
Oh.
424
00:19:30,041 --> 00:19:32,171
Dude, this chili is great.
What's your secret?
425
00:19:32,250 --> 00:19:34,250
Oh, I mixed in that leftover
bag of beef jerky
426
00:19:34,291 --> 00:19:36,541
- I found at the dojo.
- What?
427
00:19:36,625 --> 00:19:39,415
I found that bag of gnarly meat
at the bottom of that trunk.
428
00:19:41,000 --> 00:19:45,080
Dude, you just fed the entire town
200-year-old rancid meat.
429
00:19:45,166 --> 00:19:47,286
- What?
- Uh...
430
00:19:47,375 --> 00:19:48,745
Everybody, calm down.
431
00:19:48,834 --> 00:19:50,334
If there was anything
wrong with that meat,
432
00:19:50,417 --> 00:19:52,077
- we'd all be very si--
- (stomach gurgles)
433
00:19:52,166 --> 00:19:53,706
(groaning)
434
00:19:53,792 --> 00:19:55,632
I got the first port-a-potty!
435
00:19:55,709 --> 00:19:57,459
Milton: I got the second port-a-potty!
436
00:20:01,750 --> 00:20:03,790
Lucky for me, I only had one bite.
437
00:20:04,709 --> 00:20:06,539
I think I'll be okay as long as I stand
438
00:20:06,625 --> 00:20:08,455
- Very, very still.
- (stomach gurgles)
439
00:20:09,417 --> 00:20:12,127
Oh! Sweet mother Moses, help me!
440
00:20:12,959 --> 00:20:14,579
I'm running for the river!
441
00:20:19,125 --> 00:20:20,495
(water splashes)
442
00:20:28,083 --> 00:20:29,633
♪ Kickin' it with you! ♪
443
00:20:31,041 --> 00:20:33,041
(light music)
444
00:20:34,583 --> 00:20:37,793
Annabelle, sweet Annabelle,
445
00:20:37,875 --> 00:20:40,995
it burdens me to tell you
that your beloved husband Nate is gone.
446
00:20:41,083 --> 00:20:41,963
(gasps)
447
00:20:42,041 --> 00:20:45,751
The last we saw,
he was taken by a large grizzly bear.
448
00:20:46,417 --> 00:20:49,077
And as the general, it falls
upon me to comfort you.
449
00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:52,830
This is the part of the job that I hate.
450
00:20:56,834 --> 00:20:58,044
Nate?
451
00:20:58,583 --> 00:20:59,923
Uh...
(chuckles)
452
00:21:01,083 --> 00:21:02,293
Thank goodness you survived
453
00:21:02,375 --> 00:21:06,705
the "being wrapped in rabbit meat
and thrown in a bear cave" mission.
454
00:21:08,917 --> 00:21:10,787
You have earned the medal of valor.
455
00:21:10,875 --> 00:21:12,325
It's waiting for you in my tent.
456
00:21:17,667 --> 00:21:18,707
(goat bleats)
457
00:21:18,792 --> 00:21:20,502
- (gunshot)
- (bullet clinks)
458
00:21:20,583 --> 00:21:21,713
(Nate groans)
459
00:21:23,750 --> 00:21:25,710
Now, where were we, Annabelle?
460
00:21:34,375 --> 00:21:36,375
(closing theme music)
461
00:21:56,875 --> 00:21:57,745
Man: Poor soul.
462
00:21:57,834 --> 00:21:58,964
(dog snarls, barks)
463
00:22:01,583 --> 00:22:02,463
Boy: Yes!
32936
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