Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:09,000 --> 00:00:11,970
[western style music]
2
00:00:12,000 --> 00:00:20,000
*
3
00:00:26,800 --> 00:00:29,100
[upbeat techno music]
4
00:00:29,133 --> 00:00:32,633
[cheers and applause]
5
00:00:32,667 --> 00:00:35,167
- OH, THANK YOU.
PLEASE.
6
00:00:35,200 --> 00:00:37,370
WELCOME TO TOSH.0.
7
00:00:37,400 --> 00:00:39,200
WE HAVE GOT A GREAT SHOW.
8
00:00:39,233 --> 00:00:41,233
FRED WILLARD IS WITH US.
9
00:00:41,267 --> 00:00:43,597
WE GIVE THE PUKE KID
A WEB REDEMPTION.
10
00:00:43,633 --> 00:00:45,633
AND HOW ABOUT BRO-PUNZEL?
11
00:00:45,667 --> 00:00:47,467
OH.
YOU GOT TO RESP--
12
00:00:47,500 --> 00:00:51,030
BELIEVE IT OR NOT,
NOT ONE SPLIT END.
13
00:00:51,067 --> 00:00:53,267
THAT'S A HAIRSTYLE
THAT YOU HAVE TO COMMIT TO
14
00:00:53,300 --> 00:00:54,900
AS A CHILD.
15
00:00:54,933 --> 00:00:56,103
YOU HAVE TO BE LIKE,
16
00:00:56,133 --> 00:00:57,733
"HEY, MOM, KNOCK IT OFF
WITH THE SCISSORS
17
00:00:57,767 --> 00:01:01,667
IF YOU WANT ME TO LOOK LIKE
A CENTAUR AT 40."
18
00:01:01,700 --> 00:01:05,930
I ACTUALLY MET HIM BRIEFLY
IN NARNIA.
19
00:01:05,967 --> 00:01:09,127
HIS WIFE DELILAH
SEEMS A BIT SHADY.
20
00:01:09,167 --> 00:01:11,827
HEY, UH, SPEAKING
OF AMAZING HAIR...
21
00:01:11,867 --> 00:01:14,827
[audience laughs]
22
00:01:18,500 --> 00:01:21,430
IF YOU DIDN'T SEE
OUR LAST EPISODE,
23
00:01:21,467 --> 00:01:23,427
WE MADE A GOOGLE SCAVENGER HUNT
24
00:01:23,467 --> 00:01:26,067
TO FIND THIS OLD PHOTO
OF DEMI MOORE.
25
00:01:26,067 --> 00:01:28,067
WE MADE THAT THICKET
26
00:01:28,067 --> 00:01:30,197
THE NUMBER-ONE GOOGLE TREND
27
00:01:30,233 --> 00:01:33,273
FOR FIVE--
FIVE STRAIGHT DAYS.
28
00:01:33,300 --> 00:01:34,570
YEAH.
29
00:01:34,600 --> 00:01:36,670
I DON'T KNOW IF THEY'RE
GONNA GIVE US A PLAQUE
30
00:01:36,700 --> 00:01:39,300
OR A CEASE AND DESIST ORDER,
31
00:01:39,333 --> 00:01:41,803
BUT I WOULD LIKE TO READ
SOME OF THE FUNNIEST COMMENTS
32
00:01:41,833 --> 00:01:43,933
POSTED ON OUR WEBSITES.
33
00:01:59,800 --> 00:02:02,630
GROSS, SALLYTWO[bleep].
34
00:02:02,667 --> 00:02:06,427
[laughter]
35
00:02:06,467 --> 00:02:09,367
[man yelling]
36
00:02:09,400 --> 00:02:11,100
WHAT'S THAT NOISE?
37
00:02:11,133 --> 00:02:12,433
[goat bleating]
38
00:02:12,467 --> 00:02:15,097
OH, YEAH, IT'S THE GOAT
THAT YELLS LIKE A HUMAN.
39
00:02:15,133 --> 00:02:17,703
WHAT ARE YOU
SCREAMING AT, GOAT?
40
00:02:17,733 --> 00:02:19,733
MEGAN FOX?
41
00:02:19,767 --> 00:02:22,067
SHE'S PERFECT.
WHY WOULD YOU YELL AT HER?
42
00:02:22,067 --> 00:02:24,197
IS IT BECAUSE YOU'VE BEEN
READING SOME OF THE BLOGGERS
43
00:02:24,233 --> 00:02:26,773
WHO SAY THAT
SHE HAS TOE-THUMBS?
44
00:02:26,800 --> 00:02:29,800
DO WE HAVE A REAL,
HONEST CLOSE-UP OF HER THUMB?
45
00:02:29,833 --> 00:02:32,373
[goat bleating]
46
00:02:32,400 --> 00:02:35,270
THAT IS A DEAL BREAKER.
47
00:02:35,300 --> 00:02:37,600
NO WONDER
I CAN'T READ HER TEXTS.
48
00:02:37,633 --> 00:02:41,073
SHE'S HAMMERING OUT
SIX KEYS AT A TIME.
49
00:02:41,067 --> 00:02:42,927
ALL RIGHT,
I LOVE THIS NEXT CLIP.
50
00:02:42,967 --> 00:02:44,727
IT'S THE OTTOMAN HUMPERS.
HAVE YOU SEEN IT?
51
00:02:44,767 --> 00:02:46,067
YEAH.
52
00:02:46,067 --> 00:02:48,167
IT'S JUST FIVE DUDES
AND A PIECE OF FURNITURE
53
00:02:48,200 --> 00:02:49,730
HAVING A GREAT TIME.
54
00:02:49,767 --> 00:02:53,097
THERE'S NOTHING GAY ABOUT IT.
THIS IS WHAT DUDES DO.
55
00:02:53,133 --> 00:02:56,103
THEY HAVE MADE
OTTOMAN HUMPING A SPORT.
56
00:02:56,133 --> 00:02:57,903
AND THEY ARE THE DREAM TEAM.
57
00:02:57,933 --> 00:02:59,503
[voice echoing]
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
58
00:02:59,533 --> 00:03:01,433
PLEASE WELCOME
YOUR STARTING LINEUP.
59
00:03:01,467 --> 00:03:05,097
FROM ALABAMA, HIS PATENTED MOVE
IS THE MISSIONARY LUMBAR.
60
00:03:05,133 --> 00:03:08,773
PLEASE WELCOME RELENTLESS.
61
00:03:08,800 --> 00:03:10,170
THREE YEARS IN THE GAME,
62
00:03:10,200 --> 00:03:12,230
GIVE IT UP
FOR MR. CORNER POCKET HIMSELF,
63
00:03:12,267 --> 00:03:14,727
X2C.
64
00:03:14,767 --> 00:03:17,597
HE'S NOT A REAL PLUMBER.
HE'S THE PUMA POUNCER.
65
00:03:17,633 --> 00:03:20,803
PLEASE WELCOME PIPELAYA.
66
00:03:20,833 --> 00:03:23,733
SEVEN YEARS STRONG,
SPECIALIZING IN FUTONS.
67
00:03:23,767 --> 00:03:28,497
IT'S THE OFFSHORE DRILLER,
HERE'S PRE$$URE.
68
00:03:28,533 --> 00:03:30,703
HE'S NOT LEGALLY ALLOWED
WITHIN 100 YARDS
69
00:03:30,733 --> 00:03:32,203
OF A FURNITURE STORE.
70
00:03:32,233 --> 00:03:35,903
LADIES, IT'S SATISFAKTION.
71
00:03:35,933 --> 00:03:38,503
[normal voice] EVERY TEAM
NEEDS A GREAT SIXTH MAN,
72
00:03:38,533 --> 00:03:40,073
A ROLE PLAYER.
73
00:03:40,067 --> 00:03:41,567
THAT'S WHERE I COME IN.
74
00:03:41,600 --> 00:03:43,930
GIVE IT UP FOR ME,
DANIEL TOSH,
75
00:03:43,967 --> 00:03:47,127
AKA PEACH SHERBET.
76
00:03:47,167 --> 00:03:48,127
[sultry music]
77
00:03:48,167 --> 00:03:49,727
YEAH.
78
00:03:49,767 --> 00:03:53,767
FINALLY SOMEONE'S
TAKING CARE OF HER NEEDS.
79
00:03:53,800 --> 00:03:57,630
I GET THE JOKE.
THE WHITE GUY GOES DOWN.
80
00:03:57,667 --> 00:03:58,967
[sighs]
81
00:03:59,067 --> 00:04:01,297
MOVING ON
TO MY FAVORITE SEGMENT,
82
00:04:01,333 --> 00:04:03,073
REAL OR FAKE?
83
00:04:03,100 --> 00:04:04,330
[spraying]
84
00:04:04,367 --> 00:04:05,467
- [laughs]
85
00:04:05,500 --> 00:04:07,400
- OH, HE HAS SCISSORS.
86
00:04:07,433 --> 00:04:11,403
- OH, MY GOD.
87
00:04:11,433 --> 00:04:13,273
I CANNOT BELIEVE
THAT THIS JUST--
88
00:04:13,300 --> 00:04:14,830
- [bleep] GONNA KILL HIM.
89
00:04:14,867 --> 00:04:17,367
- I HAVE TO GO TO
THE [bleep] HOSPITAL, WALLACE.
90
00:04:17,400 --> 00:04:19,230
- YEAH, WELL, NEXT TIME
I'M DOING YOUR HOMEWORK,
91
00:04:19,267 --> 00:04:22,567
MAYBE YOU DON'T COME UP
AND SPRAY ME IN THE FACE, JERK.
92
00:04:22,600 --> 00:04:24,630
THIS VIDEO IS REAL,
BELIEVE IT OR NOT.
93
00:04:24,667 --> 00:04:26,167
WE DID SOME RESEARCH.
94
00:04:26,200 --> 00:04:28,570
I DON'T THINK IT'S REAL.
95
00:04:28,600 --> 00:04:31,100
THERE'S ONLY ONE WAY TO TELL
IF IT'S REAL.
96
00:04:35,067 --> 00:04:38,127
TOTALLY REAL...
97
00:04:38,167 --> 00:04:41,527
ON THE 11TH TAKE.
98
00:04:41,567 --> 00:04:43,597
TIME FOR THE PIC OF THE WEEK.
99
00:04:43,633 --> 00:04:47,073
AND BRACE YOURSELF,
THREE, TWO, ONE.
100
00:04:47,100 --> 00:04:49,830
[audience groans]
101
00:04:49,867 --> 00:04:51,967
I'M NOT A DERMATOLOGIST,
102
00:04:52,067 --> 00:04:53,597
BUT I THINK SOMEONE
MISSED A STEP
103
00:04:53,633 --> 00:04:56,233
IN THEIR PROACTIV ROUTINE.
104
00:04:56,267 --> 00:04:57,567
ALL RIGHT,
NOW IT'S THROBBING.
105
00:04:57,600 --> 00:04:59,200
IS THAT REALLY NECESSARY?
106
00:04:59,233 --> 00:05:02,273
IS YOUR PILLOW
MADE OF PIZZA?
107
00:05:02,300 --> 00:05:04,300
I THINK IT'S GONNA BLOW.
108
00:05:04,333 --> 00:05:05,933
LOOK OUT, NEW ORLEANS.
109
00:05:05,967 --> 00:05:07,297
[audience oohs]
110
00:05:07,333 --> 00:05:08,473
WHAT?
111
00:05:08,500 --> 00:05:11,500
THAT COULD BE THE CAUSE
OF THE LEVEES BREACHING.
112
00:05:11,533 --> 00:05:13,273
ALL RIGHT,
IT'S WEDDING SEASON.
113
00:05:13,300 --> 00:05:14,530
YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS--
114
00:05:14,567 --> 00:05:15,867
TIME FOR ME
TO THINK OF EXCUSES
115
00:05:15,900 --> 00:05:18,500
WHY I WON'T BE GOING
TO YOUR SPECIAL DAY.
116
00:05:18,533 --> 00:05:21,503
[klezmer music]
117
00:05:21,533 --> 00:05:28,103
*
118
00:05:28,133 --> 00:05:30,133
[laughter]
119
00:05:34,700 --> 00:05:37,070
DID THAT JUST HAPPEN?
120
00:05:37,100 --> 00:05:41,070
ALL RIGHT, CAN WE SEE
JUST THE DISTURBING PART AGAIN?
121
00:05:41,100 --> 00:05:44,170
*
122
00:05:44,200 --> 00:05:47,870
AT LEAST WE KNOW WHO'S GETTING
FULL CUSTODY OF THE CHILDREN.
123
00:05:47,900 --> 00:05:50,230
YOUR HONOR, LET'S TAKE
A LOOK AT EXHIBIT "A"
124
00:05:50,267 --> 00:05:52,427
IN THIS WEEK'S BREAKDOWN.
125
00:05:52,467 --> 00:05:55,467
[applause]
126
00:05:57,567 --> 00:05:59,497
- IT LOOKS LIKE A TYPICAL
EASTERN EUROPEAN WEDDING.
127
00:05:59,533 --> 00:06:01,173
OKAY, RIGHT HERE.
128
00:06:01,200 --> 00:06:03,930
PAY ATTENTION
TO CHRIS BROWN'S BUDDY.
129
00:06:03,967 --> 00:06:05,497
HE KNOWS
WHAT'S ABOUT TO GO DOWN.
130
00:06:05,533 --> 00:06:08,473
HE'S SEEN LENNY LOSE IT
TOO MANY TIMES BEFORE.
131
00:06:08,500 --> 00:06:09,970
SEE, AT THIS POINT,
132
00:06:10,067 --> 00:06:11,927
ALL EYES ARE ON LENNY
FOR THE RIGHT REASON.
133
00:06:11,967 --> 00:06:13,367
HE WAS BORN TO DANCE,
134
00:06:13,400 --> 00:06:15,370
LIKE PAULA ABDUL,
MICHAEL FLATLEY,
135
00:06:15,400 --> 00:06:16,900
OR O.J. SIMPSON.
136
00:06:16,933 --> 00:06:19,303
BUT KEEP GOING.
137
00:06:19,333 --> 00:06:21,173
YEAH.
138
00:06:21,200 --> 00:06:23,600
NOW SHE'S THINKING,
"OKAY, HE CAUGHT ME THERE,
139
00:06:23,633 --> 00:06:26,333
BUT THAT COULD'VE BEEN
AN ACCIDENT."
140
00:06:26,367 --> 00:06:28,167
[laughter]
141
00:06:28,200 --> 00:06:30,870
"OKAY, THAT WAS NOT
AN ACCIDENT.
142
00:06:30,900 --> 00:06:33,500
"FOOL ME ONCE, SHAME ON YOU.
143
00:06:33,533 --> 00:06:36,103
"FOOL ME TWICE--
OKAY, WHAT IS GOING ON?
144
00:06:36,133 --> 00:06:39,503
OKAY, I AM GETTING BEAT UP.
DOES ANYONE WANT TO CUT IN?"
145
00:06:39,533 --> 00:06:41,533
[sighs]
146
00:06:41,567 --> 00:06:43,797
TAKE IT EASY, ZANGIEF.
147
00:06:43,833 --> 00:06:45,533
THIS ISN'T STREET FIGHTER 2.
148
00:06:45,567 --> 00:06:48,297
YOU DON'T GET EXTRA POINTS
FOR PULLING OFF A COMBO.
149
00:06:48,333 --> 00:06:49,903
[laughter]
150
00:06:49,933 --> 00:06:51,473
IMMEDIATELY LENNY REALIZED
151
00:06:51,500 --> 00:06:53,800
THE WORLD WAS NOT READY
FOR HIS NEW MOVE.
152
00:06:53,833 --> 00:06:55,503
MAYBE IF HE DANCES REAL FAST,
153
00:06:55,533 --> 00:06:58,703
PEOPLE WILL FORGET
THAT HE JUST SLAPPED HIS WIFE.
154
00:06:58,733 --> 00:07:00,803
YEAH, AND NOW COMES
DAMAGE CONTROL.
155
00:07:00,833 --> 00:07:02,473
WAY TO BE A HERO, PAL.
156
00:07:02,500 --> 00:07:04,130
I'M SURE THAT GENTLE HAND
ON THE FOREARM
157
00:07:04,167 --> 00:07:06,297
WILL REALLY NIP
THAT SPOUSAL ABUSE IN THE BUD.
158
00:07:06,333 --> 00:07:09,173
"DUDE, COME ON, NOT OKAY.
OH, YOU WANT TO KEEP DANCING?
159
00:07:09,200 --> 00:07:11,570
OKAY, BUT WE SHOULD TALK
ABOUT THIS LATER."
160
00:07:11,600 --> 00:07:13,100
KEEP GOING.
161
00:07:13,133 --> 00:07:15,133
*
162
00:07:15,167 --> 00:07:17,567
I CAN'T HEAR BECAUSE
THIS AWFUL MUSIC IS PLAYING,
163
00:07:17,600 --> 00:07:19,530
BUT I ASSUME HE'S SAYING,
"HUDDLE UP, GUYS.
164
00:07:19,567 --> 00:07:21,367
"SOME REALLY GREAT THINGS
OUT THERE.
165
00:07:21,400 --> 00:07:22,500
"JUST A FEW NOTES.
166
00:07:22,533 --> 00:07:23,833
"LENNY, GOOD JOB
ON THE SPINNING,
167
00:07:23,867 --> 00:07:25,427
"SOME REALLY GREAT SPINS.
168
00:07:25,467 --> 00:07:26,797
"FEEL LIKE WE LOST YOU A BIT
169
00:07:26,833 --> 00:07:29,503
"WHEN YOU STARTED SLAPPING
THE [bleep] OUT OF LESLIE.
170
00:07:29,533 --> 00:07:32,173
"BUT TO BE FAIR, LESLIE,
YOU'VE ALREADY ACCEPTED
171
00:07:32,200 --> 00:07:33,900
"HIS HAIRLINE
AND HIS MOUSTACHE.
172
00:07:33,933 --> 00:07:35,673
LET'S JUST ADD THIS
TO THE LIST."
173
00:07:35,700 --> 00:07:38,330
AND FINALLY, WHY DOES
THE CAMERAMAN PAN AWAY?
174
00:07:38,367 --> 00:07:39,967
WEDDINGS ARE DREADFUL.
175
00:07:40,067 --> 00:07:42,067
THE MOST HORRIFIC THING
EVER TO HAPPEN AT A WEDDING
176
00:07:42,067 --> 00:07:43,527
JUST HAPPENED,
177
00:07:43,567 --> 00:07:46,197
AND FRANCIS FORD COPPOLA HERE
STARTS GETTING B-ROLL.
178
00:07:46,233 --> 00:07:48,633
BUT AT LEAST HE CAPTURED
THE LION'S SHARE OF THE MAYHEM
179
00:07:48,667 --> 00:07:50,067
AND PUT IT ON THE INTERNET,
180
00:07:50,100 --> 00:07:52,070
AND FOR THAT,
WE THANK YOU.
181
00:07:52,067 --> 00:07:53,967
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK
WITH TYRONE DAVIES.
182
00:07:54,067 --> 00:07:55,767
HE'S THE KID THAT PUKES.
183
00:07:55,800 --> 00:07:58,800
[applause]
184
00:08:04,233 --> 00:08:05,373
- AT M.U. IN COLUMBIA,
185
00:08:05,400 --> 00:08:06,930
AND WE'RE TOURING THE COUNTRY
186
00:08:06,967 --> 00:08:08,327
WITH OUR FESTIVAL RIGHT NOW.
187
00:08:08,367 --> 00:08:10,597
- AND ONE OF THE PICTURES
THAT I KNOW RYAN WAS INVOLVED IN
188
00:08:10,633 --> 00:08:12,473
WAS THE JOE AMRINE PIECE
189
00:08:12,500 --> 00:08:15,530
THAT GOT A LOT OF,
YOU KNOW, PUBLICITY.
190
00:08:15,567 --> 00:08:18,527
[laughter]
191
00:08:18,567 --> 00:08:19,827
- I'M SORRY.
192
00:08:19,867 --> 00:08:21,367
- UH...
- I'M, UH...
193
00:08:21,400 --> 00:08:23,130
- WE'RE GONNA TAKE
A COMMERCIAL BREAK.
194
00:08:23,167 --> 00:08:25,167
- [sighs]
195
00:08:25,200 --> 00:08:29,070
- THAT IS THE EXACT
SAME REACTION I HAVE
196
00:08:29,067 --> 00:08:32,227
WHEN A WOMAN IN A TURTLENECK
TRIES TO TALK TO ME.
197
00:08:32,267 --> 00:08:34,467
NO ONE LIKES TO PUKE,
BUT IF YOU'RE GOING TO DO IT,
198
00:08:34,500 --> 00:08:36,300
YOU MIGHT AS WELL DO IT
AT 6:00 IN THE MORNING
199
00:08:36,333 --> 00:08:39,073
IN FRONT OF MICHELLE LINN
ON KMIZ
200
00:08:39,067 --> 00:08:41,567
WHERE NO ONE IS WATCHING.
201
00:08:41,600 --> 00:08:44,070
BAD NEWS FOR TYRONE DAVIES,
THE INTERNET EXISTS.
202
00:08:44,067 --> 00:08:45,867
NOW EVERYONE
CAN TRY TO FIGURE OUT
203
00:08:45,900 --> 00:08:47,530
WHAT HE HAD FOR BREAKFAST.
204
00:08:47,567 --> 00:08:49,697
MY GUESS IS GO-GURT.
205
00:08:49,733 --> 00:08:52,633
IN MY EXPERT OPINION,
THROWING UP IS NOT THE BEST WAY
206
00:08:52,667 --> 00:08:54,367
TO PROMOTE ANYTHING--
207
00:08:54,400 --> 00:08:55,830
PROBABLY NOT THE WORST,
208
00:08:55,867 --> 00:08:57,667
CERTAINLY IN THE BOTTOM FIVE.
209
00:08:57,700 --> 00:08:59,500
SO WE FLEW TYRONE TO HOLLYWOOD
210
00:08:59,533 --> 00:09:01,773
TO GIVE HIM A SECOND CHANCE
TO PROMOTE HIS FILM FESTIVAL
211
00:09:01,800 --> 00:09:04,070
IN THIS WEEK'S WEB REDEMPTION.
212
00:09:04,100 --> 00:09:06,130
[applause]
213
00:09:06,167 --> 00:09:08,567
IT'S TYRONE.
214
00:09:08,600 --> 00:09:11,070
HOW ARE YOU?
- GOOD. HOW ARE YOU?
215
00:09:11,067 --> 00:09:12,567
- NICE TO MEET YOU.
HAVE A SEAT.
216
00:09:12,600 --> 00:09:13,700
- SURE.
- DON'T THROW UP.
217
00:09:13,733 --> 00:09:14,703
THAT'S OKAY.
218
00:09:14,733 --> 00:09:15,703
THAT'S A JOKE,
219
00:09:15,733 --> 00:09:17,103
RIGHT OUT OF THE BOX.
220
00:09:17,133 --> 00:09:18,403
DO YOU HAVE A WEAK STOMACH?
221
00:09:18,433 --> 00:09:20,073
- WELL, NOT NORMALLY.
222
00:09:20,067 --> 00:09:21,967
- ON TELEVISION--
223
00:09:22,067 --> 00:09:24,067
- I GUESS,
WELL, LIVE TELEVISION.
224
00:09:24,100 --> 00:09:25,200
- OKAY.
225
00:09:25,233 --> 00:09:26,603
WELL, THIS ISN'T LIVE.
- YEAH.
226
00:09:26,633 --> 00:09:28,173
- SO JUST RELAX.
227
00:09:28,200 --> 00:09:29,630
FIRST OF ALL,
LET ME PUT ON SOME MUSIC
228
00:09:29,667 --> 00:09:31,527
TO MAKE THIS--
229
00:09:31,567 --> 00:09:32,927
WE HAVE SOME INCENSE CANDLES.
230
00:09:32,967 --> 00:09:34,667
GINGER.
GINGER'S GOOD FOR THE STOMACH.
231
00:09:34,700 --> 00:09:38,800
WE HAVE TEA, AND WE HAVE
A LITTLE ZEN GARDEN THERE,
232
00:09:38,833 --> 00:09:40,933
IF THAT WOULD HELP YOU RELAX.
233
00:09:40,967 --> 00:09:42,967
THERE YOU GO.
234
00:09:43,067 --> 00:09:45,627
OH, THAT IS PEACEFUL.
235
00:09:45,667 --> 00:09:46,697
I'VE BEEN ON--
236
00:09:46,733 --> 00:09:49,073
WAS THAT A MORNING
TELEVISION SHOW?
237
00:09:49,067 --> 00:09:51,067
- YEAH.
IT WAS A 6:00 A.M. SHOW.
238
00:09:51,100 --> 00:09:53,100
I DON'T--
- KEEP GOING, KEEP GOING.
239
00:09:53,133 --> 00:09:55,473
- SURE.
- JUST IN CASE.
240
00:09:55,500 --> 00:09:58,670
LET ME JUST PUT THAT NEAR YOU
JUST IN CASE.
241
00:09:58,700 --> 00:10:01,030
DO YOU THINK
YOU COULD'VE COMPOSED YOURSELF
242
00:10:01,067 --> 00:10:03,097
AND FINISHED YOUR INTERVIEW?
243
00:10:03,133 --> 00:10:04,973
- UH, YEAH, I GUESS.
244
00:10:05,000 --> 00:10:06,100
- SURE.
245
00:10:06,133 --> 00:10:07,573
DID YOU THINK MAYBE THE DESK
246
00:10:07,600 --> 00:10:09,700
WASN'T THE BEST PLACE
TO THROW UP?
247
00:10:09,733 --> 00:10:11,073
MAYBE TO THE SIDE?
248
00:10:11,100 --> 00:10:12,630
- I GUESS I WAS LIKE
A DEER IN THE HEADLIGHTS.
249
00:10:12,667 --> 00:10:15,197
- SURE, I MEAN, YOU'RE TALKING
TO A GUY THAT'S [bleep] HIMSELF
250
00:10:15,233 --> 00:10:18,173
ON MORE THAN ONE OCCASION
AS AN ADULT, SO...
251
00:10:18,200 --> 00:10:19,270
YOU KNOW WHAT RELAXES ME?
252
00:10:19,300 --> 00:10:21,270
- UH...
253
00:10:21,300 --> 00:10:23,330
- I JUST QUOTE
"DRINKING OUT OF CUPS."
254
00:10:23,367 --> 00:10:24,667
WHO'S THIS GUY, HUH?
255
00:10:24,700 --> 00:10:26,830
THIS CAPTAIN KNOTS?
CAPTAIN TYING KNOTS?
256
00:10:26,867 --> 00:10:28,867
ANYONE NEED SOME KNOTS TIED?
257
00:10:28,900 --> 00:10:30,600
I THINK YOU'RE READY.
258
00:10:30,633 --> 00:10:32,733
[whispering]
I KNOW YOU'RE READY.
259
00:10:32,767 --> 00:10:36,227
[normal voice] ALL RIGHT,
LET'S GET THIS HELMET OFF.
260
00:10:36,267 --> 00:10:38,267
THE WORLD WANTS TO KNOW.
261
00:10:38,300 --> 00:10:39,930
ARE YOU READY
TO GIVE IT ANOTHER SHOT?
262
00:10:39,967 --> 00:10:41,027
- YEAH.
263
00:10:41,067 --> 00:10:44,767
- OKAY.
264
00:10:44,800 --> 00:10:45,970
AND WE'RE BACK.
265
00:10:46,000 --> 00:10:48,370
WITH US TODAY
IS TYRONE DAVIES.
266
00:10:48,400 --> 00:10:51,170
- AND WE'RE TOURING THE COUNTRY
WITH OUR FESTIVAL RIGHT NOW.
267
00:10:51,200 --> 00:10:54,370
THE FREE FORM FILM FESTIVAL
IS A TOURING FILM EVENT.
268
00:10:54,400 --> 00:10:57,370
[dramatic music]
269
00:10:57,400 --> 00:10:58,900
*
270
00:10:58,933 --> 00:11:01,803
WE'RE ALSO CURRENTLY
DOING A--
271
00:11:01,833 --> 00:11:03,803
WE'RE ALSO CURRENTLY DOING--
272
00:11:03,833 --> 00:11:11,833
*
273
00:11:15,167 --> 00:11:18,067
WE HOPE THAT FILMMAKERS
WILL CHECK OUT OUR WEBSITE
274
00:11:18,067 --> 00:11:20,467
AND FIND OUT
HOW TO SEND WORK TO US.
275
00:11:20,500 --> 00:11:21,900
- ANYTHING ELSE?
276
00:11:21,933 --> 00:11:25,133
[dramatic orchestral music]
277
00:11:25,167 --> 00:11:26,227
*
278
00:11:26,267 --> 00:11:27,897
- I THINK THAT'S IT.
279
00:11:27,933 --> 00:11:29,173
- GREAT.
280
00:11:29,200 --> 00:11:31,070
AND WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
281
00:11:31,067 --> 00:11:33,797
[indistinct whispering]
282
00:11:33,833 --> 00:11:35,073
- AND WE'RE CLEAR.
283
00:11:35,067 --> 00:11:37,297
- AAH!
THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.
284
00:11:37,333 --> 00:11:39,103
YOU NAILED IT.
285
00:11:39,133 --> 00:11:42,103
[Joyful, Joyful
We Adore Thee plays]
286
00:11:42,133 --> 00:11:50,133
*
287
00:11:53,233 --> 00:11:55,673
[applause]
288
00:11:55,700 --> 00:11:58,370
I KNOW, I KNOW,
289
00:11:58,400 --> 00:12:00,270
A BIT ANTICLIMACTIC.
290
00:12:00,300 --> 00:12:01,600
HE DIDN'T PUKE.
291
00:12:01,633 --> 00:12:03,573
BUT TYRONE AND I WENT OUT
AND CELEBRATED
292
00:12:03,600 --> 00:12:05,630
THE ONLY WAY
A WEB SHOW KNOWS HOW--
293
00:12:05,667 --> 00:12:08,597
BY DOING
THE MILK-GALLON CHALLENGE.
294
00:12:08,633 --> 00:12:11,103
THAT'S RIGHT,
ONE GALLON OF MILK
295
00:12:11,133 --> 00:12:12,773
IN UNDER AN HOUR.
296
00:12:12,800 --> 00:12:14,070
LET'S PARTY, HUH?
297
00:12:14,067 --> 00:12:15,227
- AWESOME.
- THERE YOU GO.
298
00:12:15,267 --> 00:12:16,397
CRACK THE BOTTLE.
299
00:12:16,433 --> 00:12:18,173
DOWN THE HATCH.
300
00:12:20,900 --> 00:12:22,300
COME ON, KID.
301
00:12:22,333 --> 00:12:25,473
[belches]
302
00:12:25,500 --> 00:12:27,300
I'LL TELL YOU
WHAT WOULD GO GREAT WITH THIS,
303
00:12:27,333 --> 00:12:28,403
SOME COOKIES.
304
00:12:28,433 --> 00:12:30,603
- UGH.
- FEELS GOOD, DOESN'T IT?
305
00:12:30,633 --> 00:12:32,233
TOP OF THE WORLD.
306
00:12:34,067 --> 00:12:35,367
- WHOO.
307
00:12:40,400 --> 00:12:42,470
- SORRY.
SORRY, TYRONE.
308
00:12:42,500 --> 00:12:45,700
- THAT'S ALL RIGHT.
- BUT I LOVE TO PARTY!
309
00:13:05,300 --> 00:13:09,070
- [coughing]
310
00:13:09,067 --> 00:13:10,867
- IT'S ALL RIGHT.
311
00:13:10,900 --> 00:13:12,530
IT'S ALL RIGHT.
312
00:13:12,567 --> 00:13:14,567
OH, IT'S ALL RIGHT.
313
00:13:17,633 --> 00:13:18,873
- I FORGOT TO TELL YOU
314
00:13:18,900 --> 00:13:21,100
MY STOMACH LINING
BLEEDS SOMETIMES.
315
00:13:27,133 --> 00:13:28,433
WHOO!
316
00:13:28,467 --> 00:13:30,067
- WHAT'S THE WEBSITE?
317
00:13:30,067 --> 00:13:31,527
[belches]
318
00:13:31,567 --> 00:13:33,497
- FREEFORMFILM.ORG.
319
00:13:33,533 --> 00:13:34,633
- OH.
320
00:13:34,667 --> 00:13:35,827
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
321
00:13:35,867 --> 00:13:37,667
IT'S A LOT OF FUN.
322
00:13:37,700 --> 00:13:40,670
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK
WITH FRED WILLARD.
323
00:13:40,700 --> 00:13:43,830
[cheers and applause]
324
00:13:43,867 --> 00:13:45,097
male announcer:
AND NOW IT'S TIME
325
00:13:45,133 --> 00:13:47,303
FOR THE PRANK OF THE WEEK.
326
00:13:53,567 --> 00:13:56,267
- YOU SON OF A BITCH!
327
00:13:56,300 --> 00:13:59,130
I'LL BEAT YOUR
MOTHER[bleep] HEAD OFF,
328
00:13:59,167 --> 00:14:01,227
YOU SON OF A BITCH!
329
00:14:03,733 --> 00:14:06,573
YOU STUPID BASTARD!
330
00:14:06,600 --> 00:14:08,130
YOU [bleep]DAMN
SON OF A BITCH.
331
00:14:08,167 --> 00:14:10,367
WHAT ABOUT
ALL THE [bleep] WATER
332
00:14:10,400 --> 00:14:11,870
ON THE [bleep]DAMN FLOOR?
333
00:14:11,900 --> 00:14:13,100
- [laughs]
334
00:14:13,133 --> 00:14:14,433
- [bleep]DAMN--OH, YOU--
335
00:14:14,467 --> 00:14:17,527
YOU GIVE ME THE [bleep] TAPE
OUT OF THAT DAMN CAMERA,
336
00:14:17,567 --> 00:14:19,697
OR I'M GONNA TAKE IT AND THROW
IT THROUGH THE DAMN WALL,
337
00:14:19,733 --> 00:14:21,303
YOU STUPID--
338
00:14:21,333 --> 00:14:22,703
announcer: AND THAT WAS
THE PRANK OF THE WEEK,
339
00:14:22,733 --> 00:14:24,203
BROUGHT TO YOU BY BURGER KING.
340
00:14:24,233 --> 00:14:25,733
HAVE IT YOUR WAY
LATE AT NIGHT.
341
00:14:28,233 --> 00:14:30,273
[cheers and applause]
342
00:14:30,300 --> 00:14:33,300
- WELCOME BACK.
I'M ON TV.
343
00:14:33,333 --> 00:14:36,833
IT'S TIME FOR
BEFORE THE INTERNET.
344
00:14:36,867 --> 00:14:39,727
DO YOU REMEMBER A TIME
BEFORE THE INTERNET?
345
00:14:39,767 --> 00:14:42,567
OH, IT WAS AWFUL FOR PORN.
346
00:14:42,600 --> 00:14:45,370
I USED TO HAVE TO GO
TO THE THEATER TO SEE A MOVIE.
347
00:14:45,400 --> 00:14:47,370
AND I'M SURE
WE CAN ALL RELATE TO THIS.
348
00:14:47,400 --> 00:14:50,070
[woman moaning]
349
00:14:50,067 --> 00:14:51,597
- OOH-OOH!
350
00:14:51,633 --> 00:14:54,933
- OOH, HELL NO.
THAT IS EXIT ONLY.
351
00:14:54,967 --> 00:14:57,797
- NOW, THAT'S A WOMAN
WHO LOVES HER MAN.
352
00:14:57,833 --> 00:15:00,333
- PLEASE, I AM TRYING
TO MASTURBATE.
353
00:15:00,367 --> 00:15:01,667
[sighs]
354
00:15:01,700 --> 00:15:03,600
CAN YOU BELIEVE THESE PEOPLE?
355
00:15:03,633 --> 00:15:05,633
MAY I?
356
00:15:08,967 --> 00:15:11,497
I DON'T KNOW WHY THEY KEEP
MAKING NEW PORN ANYWAY.
357
00:15:11,533 --> 00:15:13,103
THEY ALL END THE SAME WAY.
358
00:15:13,133 --> 00:15:14,603
AND IF YOU DON'T KNOW
HOW THEY END,
359
00:15:14,633 --> 00:15:17,373
WE CREATED A COMPREHENSIVE
DATABASE ON OUR WEBSITE,
360
00:15:17,400 --> 00:15:21,170
WHERE YOU CAN TYPE IN ANY TITLE
OF ANY PORN EVER MADE,
361
00:15:21,200 --> 00:15:24,170
AND WE'LL TELL YOU
HOW IT ENDS.
362
00:15:24,200 --> 00:15:25,930
[whispering]
SHE GETS [bleep] ON.
363
00:15:25,967 --> 00:15:28,867
[laughter]
364
00:15:28,900 --> 00:15:31,330
ALL RIGHT.
365
00:15:31,367 --> 00:15:33,267
DID I SPOIL IT FOR EVERYONE?
366
00:15:33,300 --> 00:15:35,200
LIVE VIA WEB CHAT,
367
00:15:35,233 --> 00:15:37,373
PLEASE WELCOME FRED WILLARD.
368
00:15:37,400 --> 00:15:38,630
[cheers and applause]
369
00:15:38,667 --> 00:15:40,567
HEY, BUDDY.
370
00:15:40,600 --> 00:15:41,900
- HI, DANIEL.
ARE YOU THERE?
371
00:15:41,933 --> 00:15:43,303
HELLO?
- YEAH, FRED, I'M HERE.
372
00:15:43,333 --> 00:15:44,773
HOW'S IT GOING?
- HELLO?
373
00:15:44,800 --> 00:15:46,130
- [laughs]
FRED, HOW--
374
00:15:46,167 --> 00:15:47,397
- I CAN'T HEAR YOU.
375
00:15:47,433 --> 00:15:49,333
AM I SUPPOSED TO SEE YOU?
I DON'T SEE--
376
00:15:49,367 --> 00:15:51,367
I SEE NOTHING HERE.
- FRED, WE SEE--
377
00:15:51,400 --> 00:15:52,700
- HONEY,
I THINK THE MICROWAVE
378
00:15:52,733 --> 00:15:54,273
MIGHT BE INTERFERING
WITH THIS THING.
379
00:15:54,300 --> 00:15:56,670
- NO, I'M POSITIVE
IT'S NOT THAT.
380
00:15:56,700 --> 00:15:57,900
FRED, TELL US ABOUT--
381
00:15:57,933 --> 00:15:59,303
- I CAN'T HEAR YOU.
382
00:15:59,333 --> 00:16:01,773
AND I CAN'T SEE ANYTHING.
383
00:16:01,800 --> 00:16:03,830
- MAYBE IF I TALK LOUDER.
384
00:16:03,867 --> 00:16:05,227
- I DON'T THINK
THIS IS WORKING.
385
00:16:05,267 --> 00:16:08,227
DID THE CAT PLAY AROUND
WITH THIS CAMERA, HON?
386
00:16:08,267 --> 00:16:09,767
- FRED.
387
00:16:09,800 --> 00:16:11,800
- I WANT TO TELL THEM
ABOUT THE LITTLE VIDEO I MADE
388
00:16:11,833 --> 00:16:13,773
ABOUT MY CELEBRITY PHOTOS.
389
00:16:13,800 --> 00:16:15,630
IT'S PRETTY UNIQUE.
390
00:16:15,667 --> 00:16:17,567
OH, HERE'S THE PLUG.
391
00:16:17,600 --> 00:16:20,270
- OKAY, FRED, PLEASE,
TELL US ABOUT YOUR CLIP.
392
00:16:20,300 --> 00:16:23,170
- [mouthing words]
393
00:16:23,200 --> 00:16:24,930
- HERE'S A MINUTE
WITH FRED WILLARD.
394
00:16:28,267 --> 00:16:29,767
- WHEN I STARTED OUT
AS AN ACTOR,
395
00:16:29,800 --> 00:16:31,400
I REALIZED I WAS GETTING
VERY SELF-INVOLVED,
396
00:16:31,433 --> 00:16:33,173
AND A FRIEND OF MINE SAID,
"FRED, GET A HOBBY.
397
00:16:33,200 --> 00:16:34,570
"BUY A CAMERA.
398
00:16:34,600 --> 00:16:37,130
"YOU'RE GONNA MEET A LOT
OF CELEBRITIES OVER THE YEARS.
399
00:16:37,167 --> 00:16:39,567
TAKE PICTURES.
THEY'LL BE CHERISHED MEMORIES."
400
00:16:39,600 --> 00:16:40,900
AND SURE ENOUGH,
TWO WEEKS LATER,
401
00:16:40,933 --> 00:16:43,133
I WAS IN TIMES SQUARE,
AND I MET CHARLIE CHAPLIN.
402
00:16:43,167 --> 00:16:44,967
I SAID,
"SIR, WOULD YOU HONOR ME
403
00:16:45,067 --> 00:16:46,597
BY TAKING A PHOTO?"
404
00:16:46,633 --> 00:16:48,873
WHICH HE TOOK
WITH HIS TREMBLING HANDS,
405
00:16:48,900 --> 00:16:50,970
AND I STILL VALUE
THIS PICTURE TODAY.
406
00:16:51,067 --> 00:16:53,067
I GOT A LOT OF PICTURES HERE.
407
00:16:53,067 --> 00:16:55,367
CHRISTOPHER WALKEN I MET
IN A RESTAURANT IN TORONTO.
408
00:16:55,400 --> 00:16:57,870
HE TOOK A PICTURE,
INTERRUPTED HIS MEAL.
409
00:16:57,900 --> 00:17:00,930
HERE'S ME MEETING
KAREEM ABDUL-JABBAR,
410
00:17:00,967 --> 00:17:03,297
WHO'S A HECK OF A LOT TALLER
THAN I THOUGHT HE WAS.
411
00:17:03,333 --> 00:17:05,503
YOU SEE, I WAS STARING
AT HIS BELT BUCKLE
412
00:17:05,533 --> 00:17:09,303
THAT SAID
"WORLD'S CHAMPION" SOMETHING.
413
00:17:09,333 --> 00:17:11,203
THERE'S A PICTURE OF ME
THE DAY MY DAUGHTER WAS BORN,
414
00:17:11,233 --> 00:17:12,703
WHICH I'LL ALWAYS REMEMBER.
415
00:17:12,733 --> 00:17:14,503
TOM HANKS WAS AT THE HOSPITAL.
416
00:17:14,533 --> 00:17:16,533
AND I ASKED HIM
TO TAKE THE PICTURE.
417
00:17:16,567 --> 00:17:18,067
HE WAS VERY GRACIOUS.
418
00:17:18,100 --> 00:17:19,530
AND HERE'S A BEAUTY.
419
00:17:19,567 --> 00:17:22,727
JOHN LENNON TOOK A PICTURE
OF ME AND YOKO ONO.
420
00:17:22,767 --> 00:17:24,727
IT'S NOT THE YOKO ONO,
421
00:17:24,767 --> 00:17:26,697
BUT IT'S ANOTHER YOKO ONO.
422
00:17:26,733 --> 00:17:28,933
- MR. WILLARD,
WE DON'T MEAN TO INTRUDE.
423
00:17:28,967 --> 00:17:30,967
- WE ARE SUCH BIG FANS.
424
00:17:31,067 --> 00:17:33,127
- WE WATCHED YOU LAST NIGHT
THROUGH YOUR BEDROOM WINDOW.
425
00:17:33,167 --> 00:17:34,797
- BUT WE DIDN'T WANT
TO TROUBLE YOU.
426
00:17:34,833 --> 00:17:36,103
- THAT'S ALL RIGHT.
427
00:17:36,133 --> 00:17:37,933
- WELL, COULD WE TROUBLE YOU
NOW FOR A PICTURE?
428
00:17:37,967 --> 00:17:40,127
- SURE.
429
00:17:40,167 --> 00:17:41,797
THERE YOU GO.
430
00:17:41,833 --> 00:17:42,933
AND...
431
00:17:44,700 --> 00:17:47,370
HAVE A NICE DAY.
432
00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:49,070
- THANK YOU VERY MUCH, FRED.
433
00:17:49,067 --> 00:17:50,497
[applause]
434
00:17:50,533 --> 00:17:53,403
HEY, UH, GO TO OUR WEBSITE
AND UPLOAD YOUR OWN VIDEOS
435
00:17:53,433 --> 00:17:55,803
FOR A CHANCE TO BE
OUR VIEWER VIDEO OF THE WEEK.
436
00:17:55,833 --> 00:17:57,403
THIS WEEK'S SUBMISSION
COMES TO US
437
00:17:57,433 --> 00:17:59,133
FROM FIVESECONDFILMS.COM.
438
00:17:59,167 --> 00:18:01,297
CAN YOU GUESS HOW LONG
THEIR CLIPS ARE?
439
00:18:01,333 --> 00:18:03,833
THEY'RE FIVE SECONDS.
440
00:18:03,867 --> 00:18:05,197
THEIR CLIPS ARE SO SHORT,
441
00:18:05,233 --> 00:18:07,333
WE ARE AIRING
OUR FIRST-EVER DOUBLE FEATURE
442
00:18:07,367 --> 00:18:09,567
IN OUR VIEWER VIDEO SEGMENT.
443
00:18:17,900 --> 00:18:20,530
- YOU GOT THE MONEY?
- WHERE'S THE GIRL?
444
00:18:20,567 --> 00:18:22,427
- GOT HER RIGHT HERE.
445
00:18:24,867 --> 00:18:28,067
- WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MORE
WIN BEN STEIN'S MONEY.
446
00:18:28,067 --> 00:18:31,067
[applause]
447
00:18:34,100 --> 00:18:37,070
[banjo music]
448
00:18:37,100 --> 00:18:39,100
*
449
00:18:44,067 --> 00:18:47,067
[applause]
450
00:18:52,600 --> 00:18:55,930
- [sighs]
451
00:18:55,967 --> 00:18:58,467
LET ME GET A MINI VODKA.
452
00:19:01,567 --> 00:19:05,127
'CAUSE I'M GETTING
[bleep] UP TONIGHT!
453
00:19:05,167 --> 00:19:08,067
JUST GOT PAID
UP OUT THIS BITCH.
454
00:19:10,233 --> 00:19:13,073
[applause]
455
00:19:13,067 --> 00:19:15,267
- OH, THANK YOU SO MUCH
FOR WATCHING.
456
00:19:15,300 --> 00:19:17,070
MAKE SURE YOU WATCH NEXT WEEK
457
00:19:17,100 --> 00:19:20,070
WHEN "SCARLET TAKES A TUMBLE"
GETS A WEB REDEMPTION.
458
00:19:21,500 --> 00:19:23,900
AND IF I HAVE MY WAY,
NO ONE'S TAKING A TUMBLE.
459
00:19:27,267 --> 00:19:29,227
THAT WAS REAL.
460
00:19:29,267 --> 00:19:31,597
AND ALSO MAKE SURE
YOU GO TO OUR WEBSITE,
461
00:19:31,633 --> 00:19:33,903
COMEDYCENTRAL.COM/TOSH.0,
462
00:19:33,933 --> 00:19:36,133
WHERE WE ARE RELEASING
A NEW DAVID KOECHNER
463
00:19:36,167 --> 00:19:38,067
FLOWER SHOP SHORT TONIGHT.
464
00:19:38,067 --> 00:19:41,227
AND CHECK OUT THE PORN
SPOILER ALERT DATABASE.
465
00:19:41,267 --> 00:19:44,627
I LEAVE YOU WITH THE UNSUNG
HEROES OF THE INTERNET.
466
00:19:44,667 --> 00:19:46,827
PEOPLE GET HURT
ON THE INTERNET ALL THE TIME,
467
00:19:46,867 --> 00:19:48,267
BUT IT'S WHAT
THEY GET HURT ON
468
00:19:48,300 --> 00:19:50,330
THAT TOSH.0 WOULD LIKE
TO TIP ITS HAT TO.
469
00:19:50,367 --> 00:19:52,197
THIS WEEK,
IT'S THE TREADMILL.
470
00:19:52,233 --> 00:19:55,573
HERE'S A MASH-UP
OF SOME OF YOUR BEST MOMENTS.
471
00:19:55,600 --> 00:19:58,570
[rock music]
472
00:19:58,600 --> 00:20:06,600
*
473
00:20:16,633 --> 00:20:19,703
OH, SOLID WORK, TREADMILL.
SOLID WORK.
474
00:20:19,733 --> 00:20:21,873
GOOD NIGHT.
SEE YOU GUYS NEXT WEEK.
475
00:20:21,900 --> 00:20:24,870
[cheers and applause]
476
00:20:24,900 --> 00:20:27,900
Captioning by CaptionMax
www.captionmax.com
477
00:20:31,233 --> 00:20:32,533
WHAT--WHAT HAPPENED--
478
00:20:32,567 --> 00:20:36,527
HOW WAS THE NEWSCASTER
AFTER THE CAMERAS HAD CUT
479
00:20:36,567 --> 00:20:38,097
AND YOU WENT TO COMMERCIALS?
480
00:20:38,133 --> 00:20:41,433
- SHE GRABBED THE SIDES OF
HER HEAD AND STARTED SCREAMING.
481
00:20:41,467 --> 00:20:42,467
- REALLY?
- YEAH.
482
00:20:42,500 --> 00:20:43,870
SHE WASN'T--
483
00:20:43,900 --> 00:20:47,130
WELL, NO ONE WOULD BE
EXPECTING THAT, BUT, UM--
484
00:20:47,167 --> 00:20:50,197
- THAT'S MORE BIZARRE
THAN YOU THROWING UP,
485
00:20:50,233 --> 00:20:52,203
IS HAVING HER JUST,
486
00:20:52,233 --> 00:20:53,933
"AAH!"
487
00:20:58,067 --> 00:20:59,597
- YOUR VOMIT LOOKED WHITE.
- MM-HMM.
488
00:20:59,633 --> 00:21:02,433
HAVE YOU ONLY SEEN IT ONLINE?
- YES.
489
00:21:02,467 --> 00:21:03,867
CAN YOU SEE IT IN IMAX?
490
00:21:03,900 --> 00:21:06,530
SHE'S SUCH A BITCH,
MISS SAND.
491
00:21:06,567 --> 00:21:09,067
DRINKING OUT OF CUPS,
BEING A BITCH.
492
00:21:09,100 --> 00:21:10,700
I BET HER FIST--
I BET HER--
493
00:21:10,733 --> 00:21:12,173
[mumbling nonsensically]
494
00:21:12,200 --> 00:21:15,070
A KID IN THE BACKGROUND
GOING [bleep] CRAZY.
495
00:21:15,100 --> 00:21:17,070
WHO'S THIS GUY, HUH?
496
00:21:17,067 --> 00:21:18,867
COME ON, BUDDY.
- WELL, IF YOU'RE TAPPING OUT--
497
00:21:18,900 --> 00:21:20,200
- I'M TAPPING OUT.
I'M TAPPING OUT.
498
00:21:20,233 --> 00:21:21,373
I'M TAPPING OUT.
I'M TAPPING OUT.
499
00:21:21,400 --> 00:21:23,070
I'M DONE.
I THINK TOGETHER--
500
00:21:23,067 --> 00:21:24,697
TOGETHER WE DRANK A GALLON.
501
00:21:24,733 --> 00:21:26,703
OH, BAD IDEA.
34613
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.