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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,836 --> 00:00:04,666 LET THE CELEBRATION OF MY BIRTH BEGIN. 2 00:00:04,705 --> 00:00:05,805 HAPPY BIRTHDAY, HONEY. 3 00:00:05,839 --> 00:00:07,479 OH, THANK YOU. MWAH. AH. 4 00:00:07,508 --> 00:00:09,408 YOU'RE MORE BEAUTIFUL TODAY THAN THE DAY I MET YOU. 5 00:00:09,443 --> 00:00:11,383 WELL, I HOPE SO. 6 00:00:11,412 --> 00:00:12,982 IT WAS ST. PATRICK'S DAY, AND I WAS COVERED IN GREEN VOMIT. 7 00:00:13,013 --> 00:00:15,083 I THINK IT WAS MINE. (laughs) (laughs) 8 00:00:15,116 --> 00:00:17,386 WHERE'S POLLY? SHE'S GONNA MAKE US LATE. 9 00:00:17,418 --> 00:00:19,088 WELL, I CAN GO INSTEAD. I MEAN, I KNOW I'M NOT A WOMAN, 10 00:00:19,120 --> 00:00:21,690 BUT I HAVE BEEN TOLD I HAVE VERY FEMININE ANKLES. NO. 11 00:00:21,722 --> 00:00:23,192 WELL, IT'S AN ALL-GIRL LUNCHEON. 12 00:00:23,224 --> 00:00:24,934 WE CAN CELEBRATE WHEN WE GET BACK. 13 00:00:24,958 --> 00:00:27,158 WE'LL HAVE CHAMPAGNE, AND WE'LL DO THE THING 14 00:00:27,195 --> 00:00:28,525 WITH THE... THING. 15 00:00:28,562 --> 00:00:29,862 WITH THE THING? (door opens) 16 00:00:29,897 --> 00:00:31,327 OH, I'LL HAVE TO DO MY STRETCHES. 17 00:00:31,365 --> 00:00:32,725 (Polly) SORRY, SORRY, SORRY. I'M SO SORRY. 18 00:00:32,766 --> 00:00:35,396 I'M LATE. THE PROGRAM I STARTED TO HELP 19 00:00:35,436 --> 00:00:37,566 FEED THE HOMELESS MUST HAVE MADE THE COVER OF "THE HOBO TRIBUNE" 20 00:00:37,605 --> 00:00:39,065 BECAUSE WE HAD A HUGE TURNOUT TODAY. 21 00:00:39,107 --> 00:00:40,567 OKAY, I AM OFF TO WASH MY NETHERS, 22 00:00:40,608 --> 00:00:44,508 AND THEN WE WILL GO PARTY LIKE IT'S 1979. 23 00:00:44,545 --> 00:00:45,945 PLEASE. LIKE SHE COULD HANDLE THAT. 24 00:00:45,979 --> 00:00:47,719 PLEASE. COULDN'T HANDLE 1989. 25 00:00:47,748 --> 00:00:50,118 OR '82. '82. HELLO. 26 00:00:50,151 --> 00:00:52,521 ASK 'EM, ASK 'EM, ASK 'EM, ASK 'EM! 27 00:00:52,553 --> 00:00:53,753 (Julian) HERE WE GO. 28 00:00:53,787 --> 00:00:55,517 HEY, GUYS, LISTEN, I WAS WONDER-- 29 00:00:55,556 --> 00:00:58,456 I AM NOT A BANK. DO I LOOK LIKE A BANK? 30 00:00:58,492 --> 00:01:01,362 I WAS WONDERING IF IT WOULD BE ALL RIGHT IF I BOUGHT NATALIE 31 00:01:01,395 --> 00:01:03,555 A PLAYHOUSE FOR YOUR BACKYARD. 32 00:01:03,597 --> 00:01:06,527 A PLAYHOUSE. FANTASTIC. 33 00:01:06,567 --> 00:01:08,437 (gasps) WE CAN DO "CAT ON A HOT TIN ROOF." 34 00:01:08,469 --> 00:01:10,099 NO, HONEY, I THINK THEY'RE REFERRING 35 00:01:10,138 --> 00:01:11,638 TO A DIFFERENT KIND OF PLAYHOUSE. 36 00:01:11,672 --> 00:01:13,372 THOUGH YOU WOULD MAKE A STUNNING MAGGIE THE CAT. 37 00:01:13,407 --> 00:01:15,307 I WOULD. I REALLY, REALLY... (whispers) REALLY WOULD. 38 00:01:15,343 --> 00:01:17,783 PRETTY, PRETTY PLEASE? 39 00:01:17,811 --> 00:01:19,981 WITH CHOCOLATE ALMONDS ON TOP? 40 00:01:20,013 --> 00:01:23,053 DAMN IT. SHE KNEW SHE'D GET ME WITH THE CHOCOLATE ALMONDS. 41 00:01:23,083 --> 00:01:24,083 (whispers) NICE ONE. ALL RIGHT. 42 00:01:24,118 --> 00:01:25,448 YOU GOT IT. YAY! 43 00:01:25,486 --> 00:01:27,156 COME ON. MM. 44 00:01:27,188 --> 00:01:28,718 HAPPY BIRTHDAY, GRANDMA. 45 00:01:28,756 --> 00:01:30,286 IS IT MY BIRTHDAY? 46 00:01:30,324 --> 00:01:31,794 THANK YOU. AW. 47 00:01:31,825 --> 00:01:33,785 SEE YA, KIDDO. AW. 48 00:01:33,827 --> 00:01:35,297 I JUST WANNA MAKE SURE I HAVE FINAL APPROVAL 49 00:01:35,329 --> 00:01:36,829 ON THE DESIGN OF THE PLAYHOUSE. 50 00:01:36,864 --> 00:01:38,604 WE'RE VERY PROUD OF OUR HOME, 51 00:01:38,632 --> 00:01:40,902 AND I DON'T WANT TO END UP WITH AN EYESORE ON OUR PROPERTY. 52 00:01:40,934 --> 00:01:44,614 SURE. GREAT. I WAS GONNA ORDER ONE TODAY. 53 00:01:44,638 --> 00:01:47,238 HEY, WE COULD DO IT TOGETHER. IN FACT, 54 00:01:47,275 --> 00:01:49,075 WE COULD HAVE LUNCH AND THEN MAKE A DAY OF IT. 55 00:01:49,109 --> 00:01:53,009 OR... I EAT LUNCH ALONE, THEN I LOOK ONLINE 56 00:01:53,046 --> 00:01:55,646 AT DIFFERENT PLAYHOUSES, THEN YOU CAN LEAVE. 57 00:01:55,683 --> 00:01:58,123 THAT SOUNDS FUN, TOO. 58 00:02:02,390 --> 00:02:04,460 OH, YOU LOOK GREAT. 59 00:02:04,492 --> 00:02:07,662 MY DAUGHTER, THE CHILD I MADE, IS THE PRETTIEST 60 00:02:07,695 --> 00:02:10,355 OF ALL THE DAUGHTERS. THANK YOU, MOMMY. 61 00:02:10,398 --> 00:02:12,168 GAIL'S DAUGHTER EDEN USED TO BE THE PRETTIEST, 62 00:02:12,200 --> 00:02:13,530 BUT THEN SHE WENT TO ARGENTINA, 63 00:02:13,567 --> 00:02:14,997 DISCOVERED EMPANADAS, AND I DON'T KNOW-- 64 00:02:15,035 --> 00:02:16,965 STOPPED GOING TO THE DENTIST. 65 00:02:17,004 --> 00:02:20,014 I WONDER THAT'D BE LIKE TO GO TO ARGENTINA... OR THE DENTIST. 66 00:02:20,040 --> 00:02:22,610 OKAY, SO JUST BE YOURSELF. DON'T BE UNCOMFORTABLE 67 00:02:22,643 --> 00:02:24,713 WHEN JESSOOKA FLIRTS WITH ME, 'CAUSE SHE'S HAD A CRUSH ON ME 68 00:02:24,745 --> 00:02:26,505 FOR, LIKE, 20 YEARS, AND DON'T BE UNCOMFORTABLE 69 00:02:26,547 --> 00:02:28,447 WHEN I FLIRT BACK. (chuckles) 70 00:02:28,482 --> 00:02:30,352 'CAUSE I LOVE TO RIDE THE EDGE. 71 00:02:30,384 --> 00:02:32,154 ¿QUE PASO, AMIGAS? 72 00:02:32,186 --> 00:02:33,486 (women) AAH! 73 00:02:33,521 --> 00:02:35,891 AW. THE BIRTHDAY GIRL'S HERE! 74 00:02:35,923 --> 00:02:37,293 * HA-- NO, FLORA, NOT YET. 75 00:02:37,325 --> 00:02:41,355 DO YOU ALL REMEMBER MY STUNNING OFFSPRING POLLY? 76 00:02:41,395 --> 00:02:43,325 STUNNING OFFSPRING HERE. HEY. HELLO. 77 00:02:43,364 --> 00:02:46,574 REMEMBER DEIRDRE WITH THE BENIGN OVARIAN CYSTS? 78 00:02:46,600 --> 00:02:49,400 OH! BENIGN. I THOUGHT YOU SAID NINE OVARIAN-- 79 00:02:49,437 --> 00:02:51,737 SO THAT IS... BETTER. AND JESSOOKA, 80 00:02:51,772 --> 00:02:54,072 WHO MAKES THE GIANT WAX FIGURES. ELAINE. 81 00:02:54,107 --> 00:02:58,007 I MADE A WAX MOLD OF YOU AS A TRIBAL WOMAN 82 00:02:58,045 --> 00:03:00,545 THAT JUST SCREAMS "TASTE MY BOUNTY." 83 00:03:00,581 --> 00:03:04,221 * HA-- FLORA, DO YOU SEE CANDLES? 84 00:03:04,252 --> 00:03:07,892 OH, AND THE LOVELY CAROLINE, MY FORMER AGENT. HI. 85 00:03:07,921 --> 00:03:10,221 REMEMBER ALL THE FUN WE USED TO HAVE WHEN YOUR MOM WAS ACTING? 86 00:03:10,258 --> 00:03:12,558 OH, THOSE WERE THE DAYS. YES. 87 00:03:12,593 --> 00:03:14,233 THEY CERTAINLY WERE. 88 00:03:14,262 --> 00:03:15,702 DON'T MIND ME. 89 00:03:15,729 --> 00:03:18,399 NICE HAT, KID. VERY PACINO IN "SERPICO." 90 00:03:18,432 --> 00:03:20,332 MRS. GREEN. I'M JUST GONNA BE A MINUTE. 91 00:03:20,368 --> 00:03:21,938 (whispers) ALL RIGHT, WE HAVE TO GO. 92 00:03:21,969 --> 00:03:24,199 YOU AND I ARE GONNA BE EXTRAS IN A VELVEETA COMMERCIAL 93 00:03:24,238 --> 00:03:26,338 SO MOMMY CAN GET HER SCREEN ACTORS GUILD CARD. 94 00:03:26,374 --> 00:03:28,414 WHAT ABOUT THE SPELLING TEST? 95 00:03:28,442 --> 00:03:29,912 WELL, YOU CAN SPELL WORDS ON THE WAY TO THE SHOOT, 96 00:03:29,943 --> 00:03:30,943 LIKE "VELVEETA." 97 00:03:30,978 --> 00:03:33,008 V-A-- (door opens) 98 00:03:33,046 --> 00:03:34,546 NO WONDER I CAN'T SPELL. 99 00:03:34,582 --> 00:03:37,522 GOOD TIMES AUDITIONING, WORKING ON MY CRAFT. 100 00:03:37,551 --> 00:03:40,551 WAKING UP ON THE SIDEWALK IN THE MEATPACKING DISTRICT. 101 00:03:40,588 --> 00:03:44,588 YEAH. BUT YOU KNOW WHAT? IT DIDN'T HAPPEN FOR ME. 102 00:03:44,625 --> 00:03:48,595 IT'S NO BIGGIE. I'M NOT ONE TO HOLD ON TO THE SPOTLIGHT. 103 00:03:48,629 --> 00:03:50,059 REMEMBER THAT TIME WHEN-- 104 00:03:50,097 --> 00:03:51,797 DID I EVER TELL YOU MY STORY ABOUT THE FISTFIGHT 105 00:03:51,832 --> 00:03:53,372 WITH SHELLEY WINTERS? 106 00:03:53,401 --> 00:03:54,971 NOT LITTLE SHELLEY WINTERS. BIG SHELLEY WINTERS. 107 00:03:55,002 --> 00:03:56,742 FISTS LIKE HAMS. 108 00:03:56,770 --> 00:04:01,070 (laughter) 109 00:04:01,108 --> 00:04:04,408 FRIGHTENING. LOOKS LIKE A CRACK HOUSE. 110 00:04:04,445 --> 00:04:07,275 MAX, WE'VE LOOKED AT LIKE A BAJILLION PLAYHOUSES ALREADY, 111 00:04:07,315 --> 00:04:08,875 AND YOU'VE HATED ALL OF THEM. 112 00:04:08,916 --> 00:04:10,716 ONE YOU EVEN CALLED "A BLIGHT ON SOCIETY." 113 00:04:10,751 --> 00:04:12,151 THAT'S A LITTLE MUCH. OR NOT. 114 00:04:12,185 --> 00:04:13,615 I DON'T KNOW WHAT "BLIGHT" MEANS. 115 00:04:13,654 --> 00:04:16,124 JULIAN, A MAN'S HOME REPRESENTS WHO HE IS. 116 00:04:16,156 --> 00:04:17,756 WELL, WHY DON'T WE JUST BUILD IT OURSELVES? 117 00:04:17,791 --> 00:04:19,091 I MEAN, WE COULD DO IT IN THE STYLE OF YOUR HOUSE 118 00:04:19,126 --> 00:04:20,756 SO IT MATCHES. 119 00:04:20,794 --> 00:04:24,474 I CAN'T DESCRIBE TO YOU HOW MUCH IT PAINS ME TO SAY THIS, 120 00:04:24,498 --> 00:04:26,028 BUT THAT IS A GOOD IDEA. 121 00:04:28,001 --> 00:04:29,771 TO THE LUMBERYARD! 122 00:04:29,803 --> 00:04:31,143 SHALL WE DRIVE TOGETHER? 123 00:04:31,171 --> 00:04:32,441 WE SHAN'T! 124 00:04:32,473 --> 00:04:34,313 (laughter) POLLY, WHAT'S NEW? 125 00:04:34,342 --> 00:04:36,642 OH, YOUR MOM FILLED ME IN ON THE MOVING BACK IN 126 00:04:36,677 --> 00:04:39,647 AND THE CHEESE JOB AND THE RESISTANCE 127 00:04:39,680 --> 00:04:41,450 TO KEEPING YOUR HAIR OUT OF YOUR FACE. 128 00:04:41,482 --> 00:04:43,252 (chuckles) THAT SOUNDS LIKE YOU ARE PRETTY UP TO DATE, 129 00:04:43,283 --> 00:04:45,823 ALTHOUGH YOU DID FORGET THE PART WHERE I DROPPED OUT OF SCHOOL. 130 00:04:45,853 --> 00:04:47,693 ACTUALLY, I'VE BEEN TRYING TO COORDINATE ALL THE MARKETS 131 00:04:47,721 --> 00:04:50,291 IN THE AREA TO DONATE THEIR LEFTOVERS TO THE HOMELESS. 132 00:04:50,324 --> 00:04:52,294 LOOK AT YOU. 133 00:04:52,326 --> 00:04:55,956 JESSOOKA, POLLY'S WORKING WITH HOMELESS PEOPLE. 134 00:04:55,996 --> 00:04:58,426 THAT'S FANTASTIC! 135 00:04:58,466 --> 00:05:01,026 BECAUSE... (laughs) THEY DON'T HAVE HOMES, AND WE DO? 136 00:05:01,068 --> 00:05:03,938 MINE EVEN HAS AN OLYMPIC SWIMMING POOL. 137 00:05:03,971 --> 00:05:06,511 ITALIAN TILE, HEATED YEAR-ROUND. 138 00:05:06,540 --> 00:05:09,180 YOU SHOULD DROP BY SOMETIME IN A BATHING SUIT. 139 00:05:09,209 --> 00:05:10,539 DO YOU REMEMBER THAT 4th OF JULY PARTY 140 00:05:10,578 --> 00:05:12,948 WHERE I SANG "THE STAR-SPANGLED BANNER" 141 00:05:12,980 --> 00:05:14,720 IN AN AMERICAN FLAG BIKINI? (laughs) 142 00:05:14,748 --> 00:05:17,348 JESSOOKA, YOU KEPT ASKING ME TO RUN SOMETHING UP THE FLAGPOLE. 143 00:05:17,385 --> 00:05:18,645 (laughter) 144 00:05:18,686 --> 00:05:21,216 I SHOULD PUT YOU IN TOUCH WITH MY SON. 145 00:05:21,254 --> 00:05:23,024 HE WORKS AT FOOD CORPS. 146 00:05:23,056 --> 00:05:25,056 MAYBE YOU SHOULD GET INVOLVED WITH HIS ORGANIZATION 147 00:05:25,092 --> 00:05:26,862 OR... HIM. 148 00:05:26,894 --> 00:05:29,504 HIS SKIN IS CLEARED UP NOW. 149 00:05:29,530 --> 00:05:30,960 THANK YOU. I-I WOULD LOVE THAT. 150 00:05:30,998 --> 00:05:31,968 I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO HELP PEOPLE. 151 00:05:31,999 --> 00:05:33,529 IT'S MY CROSS TO BEAR. 152 00:05:33,567 --> 00:05:35,467 OH, MY GOD. THIS CROSS-- IT'S SO HEAVY. 153 00:05:35,503 --> 00:05:36,873 (laughter) 154 00:05:36,904 --> 00:05:38,344 I HELP PEOPLE, TOO. 155 00:05:38,372 --> 00:05:40,842 WITH MY LIFE COACHING, I HELP PEOPLE. 156 00:05:40,874 --> 00:05:42,084 I JUST HELPED A CLIENT LAST WEEK 157 00:05:42,109 --> 00:05:43,839 FIND HIS INNER LIGHT... 158 00:05:43,877 --> 00:05:45,677 AND HIS LOST CAT. 159 00:05:45,713 --> 00:05:48,323 I BET THIS IS ONLY THE BEGINNING. 160 00:05:48,348 --> 00:05:52,188 YOU'RE GONNA DO SO MANY GREAT THINGS IN YOUR LIFE. 161 00:05:52,219 --> 00:05:55,019 WOW. YOU LADIES SURE KNOW HOW TO MAKE A GIRL FEEL WELCOME. 162 00:05:55,055 --> 00:05:56,185 (laughter) 163 00:05:56,223 --> 00:05:58,893 TO POLLY. YES. 164 00:05:58,926 --> 00:06:01,186 PRETTY, PRETTY, PRETTY POLLY. (clinking) 165 00:06:01,228 --> 00:06:02,858 (laughter) 166 00:06:02,896 --> 00:06:04,196 (clatter) 167 00:06:04,231 --> 00:06:05,531 (door opens) 168 00:06:05,566 --> 00:06:07,866 (gasps) SO FUN AND INSPIRING. 169 00:06:07,901 --> 00:06:11,441 I MEAN, THEY WERE JUST ALL SO, SO DELIGHTFUL. 170 00:06:11,472 --> 00:06:14,742 GOOD. GOOD, GOOD, GOOD, GOOD, GOOD, GOOD, GOOD, GOOD. 171 00:06:14,775 --> 00:06:17,505 MUST HAVE BEEN SOME LUNCH, HUH? DID YOU HAVE A GOOD TIME? 172 00:06:17,545 --> 00:06:20,075 SHE STOLE MY LESBIAN. SO MUCH FUN. 173 00:06:28,756 --> 00:06:30,056 I WHAT? I STOLE YOUR LESBIAN? 174 00:06:30,090 --> 00:06:33,530 YES. THIS HAS BEEN THE WORST BIRTHDAY EVER. 175 00:06:33,561 --> 00:06:36,761 EVERYBODY FAWNED ALL OVER POLLY. NOBODY WAS INTERESTED IN ME. 176 00:06:36,797 --> 00:06:38,527 (scoffs) MOM-- NO, WHY SHOULD THEY BE? 177 00:06:38,566 --> 00:06:41,596 I AM CLEARLY NO LONGER FASCINATING. 178 00:06:41,635 --> 00:06:43,695 I AM YESTERDAY'S NEWS. 179 00:06:43,737 --> 00:06:47,307 I... AM A SACK OF DAY-OLD BAGELS. 180 00:06:47,340 --> 00:06:48,640 OH. (sighs) 181 00:06:48,676 --> 00:06:49,636 YEAH. I AM. 182 00:06:49,677 --> 00:06:51,477 WELL... 183 00:06:51,512 --> 00:06:54,312 (voice breaking) AND IF YOU NEED ME, I'LL BE IN THE BATHTUB. 184 00:06:54,347 --> 00:06:55,577 (sobbing) 185 00:06:55,616 --> 00:06:57,416 HOW WAS THE FOOD? 186 00:06:57,451 --> 00:06:59,921 (sobbing continues) 187 00:06:59,953 --> 00:07:02,123 I NEED TO GIVE MY MOM A BIG EGO BOOST. 188 00:07:02,155 --> 00:07:03,715 WHAT SHOULD I DO? 189 00:07:03,757 --> 00:07:06,087 WHENEVER I FEEL BLUE, I JUST PAY THE JUNKIES DOWNSTAIRS 190 00:07:06,126 --> 00:07:07,926 TO TELL ME THAT I'M PRETTIER THAN A WEATHER GIRL. 191 00:07:07,961 --> 00:07:09,761 HMM. 192 00:07:09,797 --> 00:07:12,127 HEY, POLLY, I'M REALLY GLAD YOU STARTED THE FOOD PROGRAM, 193 00:07:12,165 --> 00:07:15,835 BUT TWO HOMELESS GUYS OUTSIDE JUST OFFERED TO FEEL ME UP 194 00:07:15,869 --> 00:07:18,609 IN EXCHANGE FOR MORE SHORT RIBS. DOUGIE AND RAY RAY. 195 00:07:18,639 --> 00:07:19,809 (clicks teeth) YOU CAN DO BETTER. 196 00:07:19,840 --> 00:07:21,780 OH, WE DON'T HAVE ANY MORE ANYWAY. 197 00:07:21,809 --> 00:07:23,839 HOW WOULD YOU FEEL IF SOMEBODY YOU REALLY CARED ABOUT 198 00:07:23,877 --> 00:07:25,477 NEEDED AN EGO BOOST? 199 00:07:25,513 --> 00:07:28,523 OH. OKAY. SO NOT EVEN THE PRETENSE OF WORKING. 200 00:07:28,549 --> 00:07:29,849 (chuckles) WELL... 201 00:07:29,883 --> 00:07:32,023 I GUESS I'D TALK TO A FRIEND OF THEIRS, 202 00:07:32,052 --> 00:07:33,452 FIND OUT WHAT MAKES THEM FEEL GOOD. 203 00:07:33,487 --> 00:07:34,987 YES, YES. THANK YOU. (snaps fingers) 204 00:07:35,022 --> 00:07:36,322 THAT GIVES ME A GREAT IDEA. 205 00:07:36,356 --> 00:07:39,986 I WILL MAKE UP ALL THE HOURS THIS WEEKEND! 206 00:07:40,027 --> 00:07:41,157 (door opens) 207 00:07:41,194 --> 00:07:43,464 I AM AN IMPOSING AUTHORITY FIGURE. 208 00:07:43,497 --> 00:07:44,527 (door closes) 209 00:07:47,334 --> 00:07:50,174 OKAY, SO I'M THINKING, 210 00:07:50,203 --> 00:07:52,343 ON THE OUTSIDE, MODERN LIKE THE HOUSE, 211 00:07:52,372 --> 00:07:55,512 BUT ON THE INSIDE, WE GO COZY, PRINCESS-Y, AND PINK, 212 00:07:55,543 --> 00:07:57,953 LIKE AN EXPLOSION OF GIRLINESS. 213 00:07:57,978 --> 00:07:59,348 NO. ALL WRONG. 214 00:07:59,379 --> 00:08:01,519 PINK AND PRINCESSES IS SO TWO MONTHS AGO. 215 00:08:01,549 --> 00:08:03,719 NATALIE'S INTO RAINBOW GLIMMER PONIES NOW. 216 00:08:03,751 --> 00:08:06,321 OH. I DIDN'T KNOW THAT. 217 00:08:06,353 --> 00:08:07,693 MAYBE SHE FORGOT TO MENTION IT. 218 00:08:07,721 --> 00:08:10,691 I SAY WE DO OPEN, CLEAN LINES 219 00:08:10,724 --> 00:08:13,464 WITH HIDDEN CABINETS HERE AND THERE. 220 00:08:13,493 --> 00:08:16,203 YEAH. THOSE DON'T REALLY SCREAM "FUN" TO ME. 221 00:08:16,229 --> 00:08:19,029 IF ANYTHING, IT WHISPERS... (whispers) NOT FUN AT ALL. 222 00:08:19,066 --> 00:08:21,696 I'LL TELL YOU WHAT. LET'S DO THIS IN A FAIR WAY. 223 00:08:21,735 --> 00:08:24,365 OKAY? WHOEVER HAS ACHIEVED GREAT SUCCESS 224 00:08:24,404 --> 00:08:27,344 DEVOTING THEIR LIFE TO ART AND CREATIVITY 225 00:08:27,374 --> 00:08:28,714 WILL HAVE THE PROJECT. 226 00:08:28,742 --> 00:08:29,842 THANKS. 227 00:08:29,877 --> 00:08:30,837 HMM. 228 00:08:30,878 --> 00:08:32,548 OH, YOU MEAN YOU. 229 00:08:32,580 --> 00:08:35,220 OH. WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT? I THINK NATALIE SHOULD CHOOSE. 230 00:08:35,248 --> 00:08:37,348 I MEAN, IT IS HER PLAYHOUSE. 231 00:08:37,384 --> 00:08:40,354 FINE. AND I'M QUITE CERTAIN SHE WILL CHOOSE THE PERSON 232 00:08:40,387 --> 00:08:43,087 WHO KNOWS HER INNERMOST WANTS AND NEEDS. 233 00:08:44,692 --> 00:08:46,362 YOU MEAN YOU AGAIN. 234 00:08:46,393 --> 00:08:49,433 OKAY. (exhales) STARTING TO GET THE HANG OF THIS. 235 00:08:49,462 --> 00:08:52,072 I'LL CALL YOU WHEN HE'S OUT OF REHAB. (door closes) 236 00:08:52,099 --> 00:08:53,499 (gasps) POLLY! 237 00:08:53,533 --> 00:08:55,573 THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR LETTING ME STOP BY. 238 00:08:55,603 --> 00:08:57,373 WELL, I TALKED TO MY SON ABOUT YOUR WORK 239 00:08:57,404 --> 00:08:59,844 WITH THE HOMELESS. HE LOVES YOUR IDEAS 240 00:08:59,873 --> 00:09:02,213 AND WANTS TO SET UP A MEETING, BUT, YOU KNOW, 241 00:09:02,242 --> 00:09:04,952 HE'S LEAVING TOWN TOMORROW, SO CAN YOU MEET HIM LATER TODAY? 242 00:09:04,978 --> 00:09:07,248 YES. THANK YOU SO MUCH. THAT'S GREAT. 243 00:09:07,280 --> 00:09:09,220 BUT I, UM, I'M ACTUALLY HERE ABOUT MY MOTHER, THOUGH. 244 00:09:09,249 --> 00:09:10,419 HER FACE JUST LIT UP THE OTHER DAY 245 00:09:10,450 --> 00:09:11,850 WHEN SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT ACTING, 246 00:09:11,885 --> 00:09:14,755 AND I THOUGHT MAYBE YOU COULD FIND A ROLE FOR HER. 247 00:09:14,788 --> 00:09:16,718 OH, SURE. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? I'M HER BIGGEST FAN. 248 00:09:16,757 --> 00:09:21,727 WELL, BESIDES HER. AND, ODDLY, BOB BALABAN. 249 00:09:21,762 --> 00:09:24,132 HUH. WELL, THANK YOU SO MUCH. 250 00:09:24,164 --> 00:09:25,604 AND CAN WE JUST KEEP THIS BETWEEN US? 251 00:09:25,633 --> 00:09:27,073 MY MOTHER'S A VERY DELICATE FLOWER 252 00:09:27,100 --> 00:09:30,370 WHO BLOOMS PRIDEFULLY IN HER OWN GLORIOUS WAY. 253 00:09:30,403 --> 00:09:33,413 I'D BE SUCH A BETTER ACTRESS WITH ALL MY EXPERIENCE NOW. THAT'S TRUE. 254 00:09:33,440 --> 00:09:37,580 UM... YOU ARE SMILING AND SPEAKING 255 00:09:37,611 --> 00:09:39,951 AND NOT TOTALLY COVERED IN BUBBLES. 256 00:09:39,980 --> 00:09:41,650 (chuckles) MMM. (New Age music playing) 257 00:09:41,682 --> 00:09:43,552 I GOT AN AUDITION FOR AN INDIE. 258 00:09:43,583 --> 00:09:45,793 (gasps) THAT'S "INDEPENDENT FILM" FOR YOU CIVILIAN TYPES. 259 00:09:45,819 --> 00:09:48,119 PRETTY COMMON TERM, BUT WHAT? 260 00:09:48,155 --> 00:09:52,155 THAT IS THE MOST... UNEXPECTED... MOST NEWS 261 00:09:52,192 --> 00:09:53,462 YOU COULD TELL ME RIGHT NOW. 262 00:09:53,493 --> 00:09:54,803 CAROLINE CALLED. SHE SAID, 263 00:09:54,828 --> 00:09:56,098 "WELL, I KNOW YOU'VE QUIT ACTING, 264 00:09:56,129 --> 00:09:57,499 BUT THIS GREAT PART CAME UP," 265 00:09:57,530 --> 00:10:00,570 AND I'M THE ONLY ACTRESS WHO COULD PLAY IT. 266 00:10:00,600 --> 00:10:02,500 WELL, SHE DIDN'T SAY THAT, BUT IT WAS IMPLIED. 267 00:10:02,535 --> 00:10:03,935 I AM JUST SO HAPPY TO BE HERE 268 00:10:03,971 --> 00:10:06,811 TO SWIM IN THE WAKE OF YOUR HAPPINESS. 269 00:10:06,840 --> 00:10:08,480 (chuckles) I'LL BE IN THE OFFICE. 270 00:10:08,508 --> 00:10:10,808 SHE'S E-MAILING ME THE PAGES. 271 00:10:10,844 --> 00:10:12,284 GOOD FOR YOU, DARLING. 272 00:10:12,312 --> 00:10:13,652 (refrigerator opens) 273 00:10:13,681 --> 00:10:15,121 CRAZY, RIGHT? 274 00:10:15,148 --> 00:10:17,178 CRAZY SMART. 275 00:10:17,217 --> 00:10:20,287 I DID IT. I MADE IT HAPPEN. 276 00:10:20,320 --> 00:10:23,790 (singsongy) HELPING MY MOM. I'M HELPING THE HOMELESS. 277 00:10:23,824 --> 00:10:27,094 YOU DIDN'T HELP WITH ANYTHING, 'CAUSE POLLY'S A-HELPIN'. (can tab pops) 278 00:10:27,127 --> 00:10:30,997 UH-HUH. SO YOU'LL BE RESPONSIBLE IF SHE DOESN'T GET THE PART. 279 00:10:31,031 --> 00:10:34,331 REMEMBER HOW FUN OUR LIVES WERE WHEN SHE DIDN'T GET A PART? 280 00:10:35,803 --> 00:10:38,043 I DON'T WANNA LIVE. I DON'T WANNA LIVE. 281 00:10:38,071 --> 00:10:39,611 I DON'T WANNA LIVE. 282 00:10:39,639 --> 00:10:42,039 HONEY, IT WAS TWO LINES IN A CORPORATE VIDEO. 283 00:10:42,075 --> 00:10:45,505 LIFE IS A CRUEL, SADISTIC OVERLORD. 284 00:10:45,545 --> 00:10:47,675 SO I GUESS THE ROLLER RINK'S OUT. 285 00:10:47,715 --> 00:10:49,015 OH, (bleep). 286 00:10:49,049 --> 00:10:50,319 YEAH, NOW YOU'VE DONE IT. 287 00:10:50,350 --> 00:10:53,190 YOU HAVE REOPENED A SEALED PORTAL. 288 00:10:53,220 --> 00:10:56,560 THINGS ARE DIFFERENT NOW. I MEAN, SHE IS OLDER AND WISER, 289 00:10:56,589 --> 00:10:58,529 AND WE ARE IN BIG TROUBLE. 290 00:10:58,558 --> 00:11:00,358 (Polly) SPEAKING OF IMPENDING DISASTERS... 291 00:11:00,393 --> 00:11:04,163 IN CONCLUSION, I FEEL MY VERSION OF THE PLAYHOUSE OFFERS 292 00:11:04,197 --> 00:11:07,997 NOT ONLY BEAUTY AND COMFORT BUT A SANCTUARY, 293 00:11:08,035 --> 00:11:10,895 A RESPITE FOR YOU FROM THE DAILY RIGORS 294 00:11:10,938 --> 00:11:12,838 OF MODERN-DAY CHILDHOOD... 295 00:11:12,873 --> 00:11:15,013 AND A BUILT-IN JUICE BOX RACK. 296 00:11:15,042 --> 00:11:16,382 HUH? 297 00:11:16,409 --> 00:11:17,879 THANK YOU. I LIKE IT. 298 00:11:17,911 --> 00:11:20,551 LOTS OF PURPLE. PURPLE IS GOOD. 299 00:11:21,581 --> 00:11:23,181 GRANDPA, YOU'RE UP. 300 00:11:23,216 --> 00:11:25,846 YOU KNOW, THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH A SANCTUARY, 301 00:11:25,886 --> 00:11:28,316 YOU KNOW, IF YOU GOT A HUMP. YEAH. 302 00:11:28,355 --> 00:11:29,915 (imitates Quasimodo) SANCTUARY! 303 00:11:29,957 --> 00:11:32,887 BUT WHEN I LOOK AT YOU, I SEE A GIRL ON THE GO. 304 00:11:32,926 --> 00:11:34,856 I SEE SOMEONE WHO'S GONNA BE ENTERTAINING A LOT. 305 00:11:34,895 --> 00:11:37,865 I SEE A GIRL WHO'S GONNA WANT A SHOWPLACE 306 00:11:37,898 --> 00:11:40,328 FOR HER IMPORTANT PIECES LIKE HANG TEN BARBIE 307 00:11:40,367 --> 00:11:43,067 AND MR. FOOFOO BEAR. 308 00:11:43,103 --> 00:11:46,513 TO THAT END, I PROPOSE A CLEAN, OPEN SPACE 309 00:11:46,539 --> 00:11:47,879 WITH DISPLAY SHELVES, 310 00:11:47,908 --> 00:11:51,378 MAYBE A DRESS-UP CLOSET, AND A BUILT-IN TABLE 311 00:11:51,411 --> 00:11:55,551 FOR IMPORTANT PROJECTS, MEETINGS, OR A LIGHT NOSH. 312 00:11:55,582 --> 00:11:57,452 I THANK YOU FOR YOUR CONSIDERATION. 313 00:11:59,953 --> 00:12:01,553 (clears throat) 314 00:12:01,588 --> 00:12:04,188 YOU'VE BOTH DONE GREAT WORK. 315 00:12:04,224 --> 00:12:08,104 BUT GRANDPA KNOWS WHAT I LIKE THIS WEEK. 316 00:12:08,128 --> 00:12:10,598 THAT'S OKAY, RIGHT, DADDY? 317 00:12:10,630 --> 00:12:12,430 SURE. 318 00:12:14,835 --> 00:12:16,565 WE'LL GET RIGHT ON IT, SCOOTER PIE. 319 00:12:16,603 --> 00:12:18,943 DON'T DISAPPOINT ME, BOYS. 320 00:12:18,972 --> 00:12:21,982 (Elaine) ANYWAY, I WAS JUST WAY TOO NERVOUS TO DRIVE. 321 00:12:22,009 --> 00:12:24,739 I HOPE I'M NOT PULLING YOU AWAY FROM ANYTHING IMPORTANT. 322 00:12:24,778 --> 00:12:27,448 OH. NO, NO. JUST A MEETING ABOUT WORLD HUNGER... 323 00:12:27,480 --> 00:12:30,420 (gasps) THAT CANNOT BE RESCHEDULED. IT MAY HAVE CHANGED MY LIFE 324 00:12:30,450 --> 00:12:32,450 AND THE LIVES OF STARVING PEOPLE THE WORLD OVER. 325 00:12:32,485 --> 00:12:35,285 IT'S NO BIGGIE. (telephone ringing, women speaking indistinctly) 326 00:12:35,322 --> 00:12:36,922 I'M SURE THE FOOD CORPS I BLEW OFF 327 00:12:36,957 --> 00:12:38,487 WILL TOTALLY UNDERSTAND THAT DRIVING YOU TO AN AUDITION 328 00:12:38,525 --> 00:12:40,125 FOR A MOVIE CALLED "TRACY'S PROMISE" 329 00:12:40,160 --> 00:12:41,660 IS FAR MORE IMPORTANT. 330 00:12:41,694 --> 00:12:43,134 OH, I'M SURE HE WILL. 331 00:12:43,163 --> 00:12:44,703 OKAY, LET ME SEE WHAT I'M UP AGAINST HERE. 332 00:12:46,266 --> 00:12:48,636 (under breath) HACK. 333 00:12:48,668 --> 00:12:49,898 "IT'S NOT. I'M..." 334 00:12:49,937 --> 00:12:51,767 TOTAL NUTCASE. 335 00:12:51,805 --> 00:12:53,605 SHE'S JUST A JERK. 336 00:12:53,640 --> 00:12:54,980 (gasps) OH. 337 00:12:55,008 --> 00:12:56,808 ALL RIGHT. 338 00:12:56,844 --> 00:13:00,084 (snorting) I KNOW YOU'RE GONNA BE SO GREAT, OKAY? 339 00:13:00,113 --> 00:13:02,253 OKAY. BUT WHATEVER HAPPENS IN THERE, 340 00:13:02,282 --> 00:13:03,482 THIS IS ALL ABOUT THE EXPERIENCE. 341 00:13:03,516 --> 00:13:06,946 NO. SHH. JUST FIND MY CENTER. 342 00:13:06,987 --> 00:13:09,287 GO INTO A FUGUE STATE. 343 00:13:09,322 --> 00:13:11,622 APPLY LIP GLOSS. 344 00:13:11,658 --> 00:13:13,288 ADJUST MY BOOBS. 345 00:13:13,326 --> 00:13:14,996 THEY LOOK GREAT. THANK YOU. 346 00:13:15,028 --> 00:13:16,798 (whirs) 347 00:13:16,830 --> 00:13:18,770 HER NICKNAME IS "PEANUT BRITTLE." 348 00:13:18,798 --> 00:13:22,338 (whirs) "SCOOTER PIE"? STUPID. 349 00:13:22,369 --> 00:13:23,769 HEY, JULIAN. 350 00:13:23,803 --> 00:13:27,113 LISTEN, NATALIE'S STARTING TO GROW UP, 351 00:13:27,140 --> 00:13:28,980 AND I JUST WANTED TO MAKE SURE THAT THE PLAYHOUSE 352 00:13:29,009 --> 00:13:31,179 GROWS WITH HER, YOU KNOW? 353 00:13:31,211 --> 00:13:32,811 IF WE DO IT YOUR WAY, THERE'S A CHANCE THAT 354 00:13:32,846 --> 00:13:35,346 SHE MAY NOT USE IT DOWN THE ROAD. 355 00:13:35,382 --> 00:13:36,452 I JUST WANNA MAKE SURE THAT-- (whirring) 356 00:13:36,483 --> 00:13:39,693 OHH! OHH! AAH! 357 00:13:39,719 --> 00:13:42,189 YOU CUT OFF THE TIP OF MY FINGER! YOU CUT IT OFF! 358 00:13:42,222 --> 00:13:44,962 OKAY! I GOT BLOOD ON MY NEW POLO! BLOOD ON MY NEW POLO! 359 00:13:44,992 --> 00:13:46,392 CALM DOWN. OKAY, CALM DOWN. 360 00:13:46,426 --> 00:13:48,056 I'M GONNA TAKE NATALIE-- CALMING! 361 00:13:48,095 --> 00:13:49,725 I'M GONNA TAKE NATALIE TO THE NEIGHBORS, 362 00:13:49,762 --> 00:13:51,832 THEN I'M GONNA BRING YOU HOME. 363 00:13:51,865 --> 00:13:54,025 THEN I'M--THEN I'M GONNA BRING YOU TO THE HOSPITAL. (grunting) 364 00:13:54,067 --> 00:13:55,697 AAH! WHERE IS IT? 365 00:13:55,735 --> 00:13:58,505 OH! (gagging) THE FINGER. YOU DROPPED MY FINGER. 366 00:13:58,538 --> 00:14:01,878 HELP ME FIND IT! AAH! OKAY! DO YOU SEE IT? 367 00:14:01,909 --> 00:14:04,639 TELL ME. IT WAS ON THE BOTTOM OF MY SHOE. I GOT IT! 368 00:14:04,677 --> 00:14:07,547 BRING IT UP. WE GOT ABOUT 30 MINUTES. AAH! 369 00:14:07,580 --> 00:14:10,250 I GOT IT. YOU'RE GONNA PUT IT ON ICE! YOU'RE GONNA PUT IT ON ICE! 370 00:14:10,283 --> 00:14:11,583 I'M GONNA THROW UP! ON ICE! 371 00:14:11,618 --> 00:14:13,588 I'M GONNA THROW UP! PUT IT ON ICE! 372 00:14:18,926 --> 00:14:20,256 NOT TO WORRY. I HAVE THE REST OF THE FINGER RIGHT HERE. 373 00:14:20,293 --> 00:14:22,833 I AM GONNA TAKE CARE OF EVERYTHING. 374 00:14:22,862 --> 00:14:24,702 DOES ANYONE KNOW WHERE WE SHOULD GO?! 375 00:14:24,731 --> 00:14:26,371 IS THERE A FINGER DEPARTMENT?! 376 00:14:26,399 --> 00:14:27,699 HERE, SIR. 377 00:14:27,734 --> 00:14:30,774 YOU CAN HELP?! (panting) OKAY. THANK YOU. 378 00:14:30,803 --> 00:14:33,373 HERE. FILL THAT OUT. HE WAS-- I'M A LEFTIE. 379 00:14:33,406 --> 00:14:35,706 SORRY. EXCUSE ME. 380 00:14:35,742 --> 00:14:38,712 DO YOU KNOW AT WHAT POINT THE TISSUE OF THE FINGER... (barks) 381 00:14:38,745 --> 00:14:40,845 THE DOG HAS MY FINGER! HEY! 382 00:14:40,880 --> 00:14:41,920 THE DOG HAS MY-- 383 00:14:41,949 --> 00:14:43,749 GET IT! 384 00:14:43,783 --> 00:14:45,253 GET HIM! 385 00:14:45,285 --> 00:14:49,015 OH. OH. OH. (barking) 386 00:14:49,056 --> 00:14:51,416 I GOT IT. 387 00:14:51,458 --> 00:14:54,428 I GOT IT. (panting) 388 00:14:54,461 --> 00:14:57,601 THE ONLY FINGER OF MINE THAT I'LL BE GIVING YOU 389 00:14:57,630 --> 00:15:01,600 FROM HERE ON OUT IS THE ONE I GAVE YOU ON YOUR WEDDING DAY. 390 00:15:01,634 --> 00:15:04,904 THE REAL QUESTION IS, 391 00:15:04,938 --> 00:15:08,938 DO I HAVE TIME TO DEVOTE TO ANOTHER SUCCESSFUL CAREER? 392 00:15:08,976 --> 00:15:10,606 I MEAN, THIS ROLE IS GOING TO LEAD TO OTHERS. 393 00:15:10,643 --> 00:15:13,283 THERE'LL BE PRESS TOURS, TRAVEL, 394 00:15:13,313 --> 00:15:15,423 A HOSPITAL STAY DUE TO EXHAUSTION. 395 00:15:15,448 --> 00:15:17,718 MOM, MAYBE YOU SHOULDN'T GET AHEAD OF YOURSELF... 396 00:15:17,750 --> 00:15:19,790 (refrigerator opens) BECAUSE IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU ARE SO FAR AHEAD OF YOURSELF 397 00:15:19,819 --> 00:15:21,389 THAT YOU ARE NOT ON THE PLANET EARTH ANYMORE. (refrigerator closes) 398 00:15:21,421 --> 00:15:22,791 OH, THE REAL DILEMMA'S GONNA BE 399 00:15:22,822 --> 00:15:24,992 MY LIFE COACHING CLIENTS WORSHIP ME. 400 00:15:25,025 --> 00:15:26,125 (gasps) 401 00:15:26,159 --> 00:15:28,329 DO I JUST ABANDON THEM? 402 00:15:28,361 --> 00:15:30,431 YEAH, SURE. (bleep) 'EM. 403 00:15:30,463 --> 00:15:32,903 LISTEN, NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, I KNOW THAT YOU ARE GONNA 404 00:15:32,932 --> 00:15:34,272 TAKE THIS LIKE A CHAMP. 405 00:15:34,301 --> 00:15:36,401 IN AN UNRELATED QUESTION, 406 00:15:36,436 --> 00:15:39,306 HOW ARE YOU FIXED FOR ANTI-ANXIETY MEDS? 407 00:15:39,339 --> 00:15:40,939 (cell phone rings) OH! OH! AAH! 408 00:15:40,974 --> 00:15:42,614 THIS COULD BE IT. (ring) 409 00:15:42,642 --> 00:15:43,682 OH, NO, YOU TAKE IT. 410 00:15:43,710 --> 00:15:45,610 YOU TAKE IT. MMM. MMM. 411 00:15:45,645 --> 00:15:47,175 (beep) HELLO? 412 00:15:47,214 --> 00:15:49,024 UH, YOU KNOW, THIS IS HER DAUGHTER. 413 00:15:49,049 --> 00:15:50,879 SHE ASKED ME TO TAKE IT. 414 00:15:53,886 --> 00:15:56,186 OH. OKAY. 415 00:15:56,223 --> 00:15:58,263 NOPE. SHE'S NOT-- UM... MM-HMM. 416 00:15:58,291 --> 00:15:59,931 (laughs) OH, THAT IS-- 417 00:15:59,959 --> 00:16:02,959 OH, THAT IS--WELL, THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT I WILL TELL HER. 418 00:16:02,996 --> 00:16:04,756 OKAY. THANK YOU. 419 00:16:04,797 --> 00:16:06,097 (beep) 420 00:16:06,133 --> 00:16:09,643 SO, UM... (gulps) YOU DID NOT GET IT. 421 00:16:09,669 --> 00:16:11,499 BUT THEY SAID THAT YOU DID A GREAT JOB, 422 00:16:11,538 --> 00:16:14,338 AND YOU HAD A VERY... INTERESTING TAKE ON THE ROLE. 423 00:16:14,374 --> 00:16:16,814 SO THAT'S... GOOD, RIGHT? 424 00:16:16,843 --> 00:16:18,953 PACK A BAG. YOU'RE DRIVING ME TO SEDONA. 425 00:16:18,978 --> 00:16:20,648 (laughs) I AM NOT DRIVING YOU TO SEDONA. 426 00:16:20,680 --> 00:16:22,120 (clenches teeth) I NEED TO DEAL WITH THE HEALING POWER 427 00:16:22,149 --> 00:16:23,479 OF THE RED ROCKS. 428 00:16:23,516 --> 00:16:25,186 MOM, IT WAS A TINY PART IN A LITTLE INDIE FILM 429 00:16:25,218 --> 00:16:27,348 THAT NO ONE WILL SEE UNLESS THE MOVIE THEY WENT TO SEE 430 00:16:27,387 --> 00:16:29,017 WAS SOLD OUT AND THEY'D ALREADY PAID FOR PARKING. (glass clatters) 431 00:16:29,056 --> 00:16:32,886 OH, MY GOD. YOU ARE BEING SO UNSUPPORTIVE. 432 00:16:32,925 --> 00:16:35,195 (scoffs) ARE YOU KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW? NO. 433 00:16:35,228 --> 00:16:36,498 ALL I'VE BEEN TRYING TO DO IS HELP YOU. 434 00:16:36,529 --> 00:16:38,669 I MEAN, I'M THE ONE WHO ASKED CAROLINE 435 00:16:38,698 --> 00:16:39,968 TO GET YOU THE AUDITION. (gasps) 436 00:16:39,999 --> 00:16:42,069 OH, MY GOD. WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT? 437 00:16:42,102 --> 00:16:43,502 BECAUSE WHENEVER YOU'RE MISERABLE, 438 00:16:43,536 --> 00:16:45,066 I FEEL LIKE I HAVE TO... (groans) 439 00:16:45,105 --> 00:16:46,705 SPRING INTO ACTION LIKE SOME SORT OF EMOTIONAL SUPERHERO. 440 00:16:46,739 --> 00:16:49,539 STEP ASIDE, CITIZENS. I MUST RESTORE MY MOTHER'S EGO 441 00:16:49,576 --> 00:16:52,376 AND STEM THE TIDE OF UNNECESSARY BATHING. 442 00:16:52,412 --> 00:16:55,152 YES, AND UNFORTUNATELY YOU HAVE MADE THINGS SO MUCH WORSE. 443 00:16:55,182 --> 00:16:57,052 WELL, YOU HAVE MADE THINGS WORSE FOR ME. 444 00:16:57,084 --> 00:16:59,024 OH, YEAH. I TURNED MY BACK ON THE ACTUAL NEEDY FOR YOU. 445 00:16:59,052 --> 00:17:00,892 UH-HUH. AND WHO'S MORE NEEDY THAN ACTORS? 446 00:17:00,920 --> 00:17:02,190 OH, I DON'T KNOW. THE HOMELESS? 447 00:17:02,222 --> 00:17:03,992 MOST OF THEM--EX-ACTORS. 448 00:17:04,023 --> 00:17:06,693 I AM SO SICK OF ALWAYS PUTTING YOUR NEEDS AHEAD OF MINE. 449 00:17:06,726 --> 00:17:09,556 I AM FINALLY DOING SOMETHING THAT IS IMPORTANT TO ME, 450 00:17:09,596 --> 00:17:12,526 AND ALL YOU CAN SEE IS YOUR OWN STAR RISING AND FALLING. 451 00:17:12,565 --> 00:17:14,595 THAT'S BECAUSE MY MOTHER DRILLED INTO MY HEAD... (taps table) 452 00:17:14,634 --> 00:17:18,374 THAT LOOKING OUT FOR NUMBER ONE SPELLS SUCCESS. 453 00:17:18,405 --> 00:17:20,935 WELL, I GUESS I WOULDN'T KNOW WHAT SPELLS SUCCESS, 454 00:17:20,973 --> 00:17:24,283 BECAUSE MY MOTHER MADE ME MISS TOO MANY SPELLING TESTS. 455 00:17:27,880 --> 00:17:29,950 OKAY, YOU'RE ALL GOOD. 456 00:17:29,982 --> 00:17:31,552 REMEMBER TO CHANGE THE BANDAGES, 457 00:17:31,584 --> 00:17:35,624 AND YOU SHOULD BE COMPLETELY HEALED IN ABOUT FOUR WEEKS. 458 00:17:35,655 --> 00:17:37,385 HE MIGHT TAKE MUCH LONGER. 459 00:17:37,424 --> 00:17:39,234 THANK YOU. 460 00:17:39,259 --> 00:17:40,429 (monitor beeping steadily) 461 00:17:40,460 --> 00:17:41,930 WILL YOU STOP CRYING? 462 00:17:41,961 --> 00:17:44,361 IT WAS AN ACCIDENT, A RIDICULOUS ACCIDENT-- 463 00:17:44,397 --> 00:17:46,097 YEAH, BUT WHAT IF IT WASN'T? 464 00:17:46,133 --> 00:17:48,543 I MEAN, WHAT IF I... MAIMED YOU ON PURPOSE 465 00:17:48,568 --> 00:17:50,738 AFTER THE DARKNESS TOOK HOLD, 466 00:17:50,770 --> 00:17:52,440 SO THAT YOU WOULDN'T BE SO PERFECT, 467 00:17:52,472 --> 00:17:54,372 AND NATALIE WOULDN'T DOTE ON YOU SO MUCH? 468 00:17:54,407 --> 00:17:56,777 I'M NOT PERFECT, JULIAN. 469 00:17:56,809 --> 00:17:59,279 I'M VERY, VERY CLOSE, BUT SO WHAT? 470 00:17:59,312 --> 00:18:03,122 SO I GUESS I DIDN'T KNOW HOW HARD IT WOULD BE 471 00:18:03,150 --> 00:18:06,490 MISSING THE DAY-TO-DAY OF MY KID'S LIFE. 472 00:18:06,519 --> 00:18:08,589 I MEAN, YOU'RE THERE ALL THE TIME. 473 00:18:08,621 --> 00:18:10,461 YOU'RE THERE WHEN SHE GETS UP IN THE MORNING. 474 00:18:10,490 --> 00:18:12,660 GUESS I'M AFRAID THAT YOU'LL BE HER ROLE MODEL, 475 00:18:12,692 --> 00:18:16,302 AND I'LL BE SOME PUTZ WHO HANGS AROUND SOMETIMES. 476 00:18:16,329 --> 00:18:17,999 YOU'RE NOT THE PUTZ WHO HANGS AROUND. 477 00:18:18,030 --> 00:18:20,430 COME ON. THEY NEED THE BED. I DON'T WANT TO LOSE HER. 478 00:18:20,467 --> 00:18:22,397 YOU WON'T. 479 00:18:22,435 --> 00:18:25,135 LOOK, I'M SORRY IF I GOT BETWEEN YOU. 480 00:18:25,172 --> 00:18:28,072 I'LL TRY TO BE MORE CONSCIOUS OF IT, OKAY? 481 00:18:28,107 --> 00:18:30,637 OKAY. (scoffs) 482 00:18:30,677 --> 00:18:32,477 THANKS, MAX. EASY. 483 00:18:32,512 --> 00:18:35,522 I'M REALLY SORRY ABOUT YOUR FINGER. GOD. 484 00:18:35,548 --> 00:18:38,518 SILVER LINING-- 485 00:18:38,551 --> 00:18:40,291 I FEEL REALLY CLOSE TO YOU RIGHT NOW. 486 00:18:40,320 --> 00:18:43,490 OKAY. ME, TOO. 487 00:18:43,523 --> 00:18:47,293 BUT IT'S PROBABLY THE PRESCRIPTION PAIN KILLERS. (chuckles) 488 00:18:47,327 --> 00:18:50,457 I FEEL CLOSE TO THAT JAR OF COTTON BALLS OVER THERE. 489 00:18:50,497 --> 00:18:52,827 THERE'S NO JAR OF COTTON BALLS THERE. 490 00:18:54,367 --> 00:18:56,037 MOM, IT'S LATE. I AM SO TIRED. 491 00:18:56,068 --> 00:18:59,808 I JUST WANT TO GO TO BED. WHERE ARE YOU TAKING ME? 492 00:18:59,839 --> 00:19:01,839 WHY DO I HAVE CHEESE IN MY LAP? 493 00:19:01,874 --> 00:19:05,114 I THOUGHT ABOUT WHAT YOU SAID BEFORE, 494 00:19:05,144 --> 00:19:10,284 AND YOU'RE RIGHT, SO I AM TAKING YOU TO SKID ROW. 495 00:19:10,317 --> 00:19:11,547 AND LEAVING ME THERE? 496 00:19:11,584 --> 00:19:13,354 WE'RE GOING TO FEED THE HOMELESS. 497 00:19:13,386 --> 00:19:16,156 WE ARE? MM-HMM. I WANT YOU TO KNOW 498 00:19:16,189 --> 00:19:18,529 THAT YOUR DREAMS ARE IMPORTANT TO ME, POLLY. 499 00:19:18,558 --> 00:19:20,888 I AM SO PROUD OF WHAT YOU'RE DOING. (siren wailing in distance) 500 00:19:20,927 --> 00:19:22,827 YOU'RE JUST SPECTACULAR. 501 00:19:22,862 --> 00:19:25,332 I DON'T KNOW. I GUESS I FEEL... 502 00:19:25,365 --> 00:19:27,325 COMPETITIVE. 503 00:19:27,367 --> 00:19:32,037 WELL, DON'T. YOU'RE A FORCE OF NATURE. 504 00:19:32,071 --> 00:19:33,471 AND THE DIRECTOR OF THE MOVIE 505 00:19:33,506 --> 00:19:35,006 EVEN ASKED ME IF YOU WERE SINGLE. 506 00:19:35,041 --> 00:19:37,881 WHAT? (brakes screech) 507 00:19:37,910 --> 00:19:39,980 WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY SOMETHING SOONER? 508 00:19:40,012 --> 00:19:42,752 (gasps) HE'S, LIKE, HALF MY AGE. 509 00:19:42,782 --> 00:19:45,852 (men speaking indistinctly) OH, MY GOD. I'M ATTRACTIVE TO A WHOLE NEW GENERATION. 510 00:19:45,885 --> 00:19:47,715 MOM, MAYBE YOU SHOULD KEEP MOVING. (laughs) 511 00:19:47,754 --> 00:19:50,524 KEEP MOVING. OH, LOOK, HE'S ALREADY GOT A CHEESE KNIFE. 512 00:19:50,557 --> 00:19:52,857 LET'S JUST DROP--LET'S DROP IT OFF AT THE FOOD BANK. OKAY. 513 00:19:52,892 --> 00:19:55,062 MOM, THIS IS NOT REALLY-- COMING THROUGH. FOLLOW US! WE HAVE CHEESE! 514 00:19:55,094 --> 00:19:56,864 (Polly) MIDNIGHT... (horn honks) 515 00:19:56,896 --> 00:19:58,896 (laughter) AND THE WHOLE AUDITION 516 00:19:58,931 --> 00:20:01,671 THIS GUY WAS JUST UNDRESSING ME WITH HIS EYES. NO. 517 00:20:01,701 --> 00:20:04,441 SOME PEOPLE LIVE TO BE THE CENTER OF ATTENTION. 518 00:20:04,471 --> 00:20:07,371 (women speaking indistinctly and laughing) 519 00:20:07,407 --> 00:20:09,777 BUT SOMETIMES IT'S BETTER TO HANG BACK 520 00:20:09,809 --> 00:20:12,109 AND LET SOMEONE ELSE HAVE THE SPOTLIGHT. 521 00:20:12,144 --> 00:20:13,584 (squeals) 522 00:20:13,613 --> 00:20:14,583 THANK YOU! YOU'RE WELCOME. 523 00:20:14,614 --> 00:20:16,384 THANK YOU, THANK YOU. 524 00:20:16,416 --> 00:20:18,716 I LOVE IT. 525 00:20:18,751 --> 00:20:20,891 ** 526 00:20:20,920 --> 00:20:25,760 ME--I'M JUST HAPPY TO BE WHEREVER I'M NEEDED. 527 00:20:25,792 --> 00:20:27,762 WOULD IT KILL YOU TO INCLUDE A NAPKIN? 528 00:20:27,794 --> 00:20:30,304 WHAT ARE YOU, HOARDING NAPKINS NOW? 529 00:20:30,330 --> 00:20:32,270 YOU KNOW, MOST OF THE TIME. 530 00:20:32,299 --> 00:20:35,739 (woman) * GONNA MAKE A CHANGE TODAY 531 00:20:40,273 --> 00:20:41,913 I'M ELAINE GREEN, 532 00:20:41,941 --> 00:20:43,481 AND I WILL BE READING THE ROLE OF JIMMY'S MOTHER. 533 00:20:43,510 --> 00:20:45,010 (man) OKAY, WHENEVER YOU'RE READY. 534 00:20:46,646 --> 00:20:48,616 JIMMY, MOMMY IS HERE. 535 00:20:48,648 --> 00:20:51,248 I KNOW THAT THE TUMOR IS GROWING AND THAT YOU'RE SCARED, 536 00:20:51,284 --> 00:20:54,354 BUT I'M GONNA TAKE CARE OF YOU. 537 00:20:56,323 --> 00:20:58,123 OKAY. UH, WE'LL-- WE'LL TRY IT AGAIN. 538 00:20:58,157 --> 00:21:01,487 IT SEEMS LIKE YOU'RE TRYING TO SEDUCE-- 539 00:21:01,528 --> 00:21:03,398 YOU KNOW, THIS IS A KID WITH CANCER. 540 00:21:03,430 --> 00:21:04,600 OKAY. 541 00:21:04,631 --> 00:21:05,931 SO IT'S NOT SEXUAL AT ALL. 542 00:21:05,965 --> 00:21:07,495 (whispers) NOT SEXUAL... (normal voice) OKAY. 543 00:21:09,336 --> 00:21:12,266 JIMMY, BABY, MOMMY IS HERE. 544 00:21:12,305 --> 00:21:13,965 I KNOW THAT YOUR TUMOR IS GROWING 545 00:21:14,006 --> 00:21:15,806 AND THAT YOU ARE SCARED, 546 00:21:15,842 --> 00:21:18,852 BUT I'M GONNA TAKE CARE OF YOU. 547 00:21:20,046 --> 00:21:21,446 BETTER? 548 00:21:21,481 --> 00:21:23,781 I'M SORRY. I WAS DISTRACTED. 549 00:21:23,816 --> 00:21:25,076 I DIDN'T KNOW THAT YOU WERE DONE. RIGHT? 550 00:21:25,117 --> 00:21:26,447 UM, LET'S CUT. 41645

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