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1
00:00:02,836 --> 00:00:04,666
LET THE CELEBRATION
OF MY BIRTH BEGIN.
2
00:00:04,705 --> 00:00:05,805
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, HONEY.
3
00:00:05,839 --> 00:00:07,479
OH, THANK YOU. MWAH.
AH.
4
00:00:07,508 --> 00:00:09,408
YOU'RE MORE BEAUTIFUL TODAY
THAN THE DAY I MET YOU.
5
00:00:09,443 --> 00:00:11,383
WELL, I HOPE SO.
6
00:00:11,412 --> 00:00:12,982
IT WAS ST. PATRICK'S DAY, AND I
WAS COVERED IN GREEN VOMIT.
7
00:00:13,013 --> 00:00:15,083
I THINK IT WAS MINE. (laughs)
(laughs)
8
00:00:15,116 --> 00:00:17,386
WHERE'S POLLY?
SHE'S GONNA MAKE US LATE.
9
00:00:17,418 --> 00:00:19,088
WELL, I CAN GO INSTEAD.
I MEAN, I KNOW I'M NOT A WOMAN,
10
00:00:19,120 --> 00:00:21,690
BUT I HAVE BEEN TOLD I HAVE
VERY FEMININE ANKLES.
NO.
11
00:00:21,722 --> 00:00:23,192
WELL,
IT'S AN ALL-GIRL LUNCHEON.
12
00:00:23,224 --> 00:00:24,934
WE CAN CELEBRATE
WHEN WE GET BACK.
13
00:00:24,958 --> 00:00:27,158
WE'LL HAVE CHAMPAGNE,
AND WE'LL DO THE THING
14
00:00:27,195 --> 00:00:28,525
WITH THE... THING.
15
00:00:28,562 --> 00:00:29,862
WITH THE THING?
(door opens)
16
00:00:29,897 --> 00:00:31,327
OH, I'LL HAVE TO DO
MY STRETCHES.
17
00:00:31,365 --> 00:00:32,725
(Polly) SORRY, SORRY, SORRY.
I'M SO SORRY.
18
00:00:32,766 --> 00:00:35,396
I'M LATE. THE PROGRAM
I STARTED TO HELP
19
00:00:35,436 --> 00:00:37,566
FEED THE HOMELESS MUST HAVE MADE
THE COVER OF "THE HOBO TRIBUNE"
20
00:00:37,605 --> 00:00:39,065
BECAUSE WE HAD
A HUGE TURNOUT TODAY.
21
00:00:39,107 --> 00:00:40,567
OKAY, I AM OFF TO WASH
MY NETHERS,
22
00:00:40,608 --> 00:00:44,508
AND THEN WE WILL GO PARTY
LIKE IT'S 1979.
23
00:00:44,545 --> 00:00:45,945
PLEASE. LIKE SHE
COULD HANDLE THAT.
24
00:00:45,979 --> 00:00:47,719
PLEASE.
COULDN'T HANDLE 1989.
25
00:00:47,748 --> 00:00:50,118
OR '82. '82.
HELLO.
26
00:00:50,151 --> 00:00:52,521
ASK 'EM, ASK 'EM,
ASK 'EM, ASK 'EM!
27
00:00:52,553 --> 00:00:53,753
(Julian) HERE WE GO.
28
00:00:53,787 --> 00:00:55,517
HEY, GUYS, LISTEN,
I WAS WONDER--
29
00:00:55,556 --> 00:00:58,456
I AM NOT A BANK.
DO I LOOK LIKE A BANK?
30
00:00:58,492 --> 00:01:01,362
I WAS WONDERING IF IT WOULD BE
ALL RIGHT IF I BOUGHT NATALIE
31
00:01:01,395 --> 00:01:03,555
A PLAYHOUSE FOR YOUR BACKYARD.
32
00:01:03,597 --> 00:01:06,527
A PLAYHOUSE.
FANTASTIC.
33
00:01:06,567 --> 00:01:08,437
(gasps) WE CAN DO
"CAT ON A HOT TIN ROOF."
34
00:01:08,469 --> 00:01:10,099
NO, HONEY,
I THINK THEY'RE REFERRING
35
00:01:10,138 --> 00:01:11,638
TO A DIFFERENT KIND
OF PLAYHOUSE.
36
00:01:11,672 --> 00:01:13,372
THOUGH YOU WOULD MAKE
A STUNNING MAGGIE THE CAT.
37
00:01:13,407 --> 00:01:15,307
I WOULD. I REALLY, REALLY...
(whispers) REALLY WOULD.
38
00:01:15,343 --> 00:01:17,783
PRETTY, PRETTY PLEASE?
39
00:01:17,811 --> 00:01:19,981
WITH CHOCOLATE ALMONDS
ON TOP?
40
00:01:20,013 --> 00:01:23,053
DAMN IT. SHE KNEW SHE'D GET ME
WITH THE CHOCOLATE ALMONDS.
41
00:01:23,083 --> 00:01:24,083
(whispers) NICE ONE.
ALL RIGHT.
42
00:01:24,118 --> 00:01:25,448
YOU GOT IT.
YAY!
43
00:01:25,486 --> 00:01:27,156
COME ON.
MM.
44
00:01:27,188 --> 00:01:28,718
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, GRANDMA.
45
00:01:28,756 --> 00:01:30,286
IS IT MY BIRTHDAY?
46
00:01:30,324 --> 00:01:31,794
THANK YOU.
AW.
47
00:01:31,825 --> 00:01:33,785
SEE YA, KIDDO.
AW.
48
00:01:33,827 --> 00:01:35,297
I JUST WANNA MAKE SURE
I HAVE FINAL APPROVAL
49
00:01:35,329 --> 00:01:36,829
ON THE DESIGN
OF THE PLAYHOUSE.
50
00:01:36,864 --> 00:01:38,604
WE'RE VERY PROUD OF OUR HOME,
51
00:01:38,632 --> 00:01:40,902
AND I DON'T WANT TO END UP
WITH AN EYESORE ON OUR PROPERTY.
52
00:01:40,934 --> 00:01:44,614
SURE. GREAT.
I WAS GONNA ORDER ONE TODAY.
53
00:01:44,638 --> 00:01:47,238
HEY, WE COULD DO IT TOGETHER.
IN FACT,
54
00:01:47,275 --> 00:01:49,075
WE COULD HAVE LUNCH
AND THEN MAKE A DAY OF IT.
55
00:01:49,109 --> 00:01:53,009
OR... I EAT LUNCH ALONE,
THEN I LOOK ONLINE
56
00:01:53,046 --> 00:01:55,646
AT DIFFERENT PLAYHOUSES,
THEN YOU CAN LEAVE.
57
00:01:55,683 --> 00:01:58,123
THAT SOUNDS FUN, TOO.
58
00:02:02,390 --> 00:02:04,460
OH, YOU LOOK GREAT.
59
00:02:04,492 --> 00:02:07,662
MY DAUGHTER, THE CHILD I MADE,
IS THE PRETTIEST
60
00:02:07,695 --> 00:02:10,355
OF ALL THE DAUGHTERS.
THANK YOU, MOMMY.
61
00:02:10,398 --> 00:02:12,168
GAIL'S DAUGHTER EDEN
USED TO BE THE PRETTIEST,
62
00:02:12,200 --> 00:02:13,530
BUT THEN SHE WENT
TO ARGENTINA,
63
00:02:13,567 --> 00:02:14,997
DISCOVERED EMPANADAS,
AND I DON'T KNOW--
64
00:02:15,035 --> 00:02:16,965
STOPPED GOING
TO THE DENTIST.
65
00:02:17,004 --> 00:02:20,014
I WONDER THAT'D BE LIKE TO GO
TO ARGENTINA... OR THE DENTIST.
66
00:02:20,040 --> 00:02:22,610
OKAY, SO JUST BE YOURSELF.
DON'T BE UNCOMFORTABLE
67
00:02:22,643 --> 00:02:24,713
WHEN JESSOOKA FLIRTS WITH ME,
'CAUSE SHE'S HAD A CRUSH ON ME
68
00:02:24,745 --> 00:02:26,505
FOR, LIKE, 20 YEARS,
AND DON'T BE UNCOMFORTABLE
69
00:02:26,547 --> 00:02:28,447
WHEN I FLIRT BACK.
(chuckles)
70
00:02:28,482 --> 00:02:30,352
'CAUSE
I LOVE TO RIDE THE EDGE.
71
00:02:30,384 --> 00:02:32,154
¿QUE PASO, AMIGAS?
72
00:02:32,186 --> 00:02:33,486
(women) AAH!
73
00:02:33,521 --> 00:02:35,891
AW.
THE BIRTHDAY GIRL'S HERE!
74
00:02:35,923 --> 00:02:37,293
* HA--
NO, FLORA, NOT YET.
75
00:02:37,325 --> 00:02:41,355
DO YOU ALL REMEMBER
MY STUNNING OFFSPRING POLLY?
76
00:02:41,395 --> 00:02:43,325
STUNNING OFFSPRING HERE. HEY.
HELLO.
77
00:02:43,364 --> 00:02:46,574
REMEMBER DEIRDRE WITH
THE BENIGN OVARIAN CYSTS?
78
00:02:46,600 --> 00:02:49,400
OH! BENIGN. I THOUGHT
YOU SAID NINE OVARIAN--
79
00:02:49,437 --> 00:02:51,737
SO THAT IS... BETTER.
AND JESSOOKA,
80
00:02:51,772 --> 00:02:54,072
WHO MAKES
THE GIANT WAX FIGURES.
ELAINE.
81
00:02:54,107 --> 00:02:58,007
I MADE A WAX MOLD OF YOU
AS A TRIBAL WOMAN
82
00:02:58,045 --> 00:03:00,545
THAT JUST SCREAMS
"TASTE MY BOUNTY."
83
00:03:00,581 --> 00:03:04,221
* HA--
FLORA, DO YOU SEE CANDLES?
84
00:03:04,252 --> 00:03:07,892
OH, AND THE LOVELY CAROLINE,
MY FORMER AGENT.
HI.
85
00:03:07,921 --> 00:03:10,221
REMEMBER ALL THE FUN WE USED TO
HAVE WHEN YOUR MOM WAS ACTING?
86
00:03:10,258 --> 00:03:12,558
OH, THOSE WERE THE DAYS.
YES.
87
00:03:12,593 --> 00:03:14,233
THEY CERTAINLY WERE.
88
00:03:14,262 --> 00:03:15,702
DON'T MIND ME.
89
00:03:15,729 --> 00:03:18,399
NICE HAT, KID.
VERY PACINO IN "SERPICO."
90
00:03:18,432 --> 00:03:20,332
MRS. GREEN.
I'M JUST GONNA BE A MINUTE.
91
00:03:20,368 --> 00:03:21,938
(whispers) ALL RIGHT,
WE HAVE TO GO.
92
00:03:21,969 --> 00:03:24,199
YOU AND I ARE GONNA BE EXTRAS
IN A VELVEETA COMMERCIAL
93
00:03:24,238 --> 00:03:26,338
SO MOMMY CAN GET
HER SCREEN ACTORS GUILD CARD.
94
00:03:26,374 --> 00:03:28,414
WHAT ABOUT
THE SPELLING TEST?
95
00:03:28,442 --> 00:03:29,912
WELL, YOU CAN SPELL WORDS
ON THE WAY TO THE SHOOT,
96
00:03:29,943 --> 00:03:30,943
LIKE "VELVEETA."
97
00:03:30,978 --> 00:03:33,008
V-A--
(door opens)
98
00:03:33,046 --> 00:03:34,546
NO WONDER I CAN'T SPELL.
99
00:03:34,582 --> 00:03:37,522
GOOD TIMES AUDITIONING,
WORKING ON MY CRAFT.
100
00:03:37,551 --> 00:03:40,551
WAKING UP ON THE SIDEWALK
IN THE MEATPACKING DISTRICT.
101
00:03:40,588 --> 00:03:44,588
YEAH. BUT YOU KNOW WHAT?
IT DIDN'T HAPPEN FOR ME.
102
00:03:44,625 --> 00:03:48,595
IT'S NO BIGGIE. I'M NOT ONE
TO HOLD ON TO THE SPOTLIGHT.
103
00:03:48,629 --> 00:03:50,059
REMEMBER THAT TIME WHEN--
104
00:03:50,097 --> 00:03:51,797
DID I EVER TELL YOU MY STORY
ABOUT THE FISTFIGHT
105
00:03:51,832 --> 00:03:53,372
WITH SHELLEY WINTERS?
106
00:03:53,401 --> 00:03:54,971
NOT LITTLE SHELLEY WINTERS.
BIG SHELLEY WINTERS.
107
00:03:55,002 --> 00:03:56,742
FISTS LIKE HAMS.
108
00:03:56,770 --> 00:04:01,070
(laughter)
109
00:04:01,108 --> 00:04:04,408
FRIGHTENING.
LOOKS LIKE A CRACK HOUSE.
110
00:04:04,445 --> 00:04:07,275
MAX, WE'VE LOOKED AT LIKE
A BAJILLION PLAYHOUSES ALREADY,
111
00:04:07,315 --> 00:04:08,875
AND YOU'VE HATED ALL OF THEM.
112
00:04:08,916 --> 00:04:10,716
ONE YOU EVEN CALLED
"A BLIGHT ON SOCIETY."
113
00:04:10,751 --> 00:04:12,151
THAT'S A LITTLE MUCH.
OR NOT.
114
00:04:12,185 --> 00:04:13,615
I DON'T KNOW WHAT
"BLIGHT" MEANS.
115
00:04:13,654 --> 00:04:16,124
JULIAN, A MAN'S HOME
REPRESENTS WHO HE IS.
116
00:04:16,156 --> 00:04:17,756
WELL, WHY DON'T WE JUST
BUILD IT OURSELVES?
117
00:04:17,791 --> 00:04:19,091
I MEAN, WE COULD DO IT
IN THE STYLE OF YOUR HOUSE
118
00:04:19,126 --> 00:04:20,756
SO IT MATCHES.
119
00:04:20,794 --> 00:04:24,474
I CAN'T DESCRIBE TO YOU HOW MUCH
IT PAINS ME TO SAY THIS,
120
00:04:24,498 --> 00:04:26,028
BUT THAT IS A GOOD IDEA.
121
00:04:28,001 --> 00:04:29,771
TO THE LUMBERYARD!
122
00:04:29,803 --> 00:04:31,143
SHALL WE DRIVE TOGETHER?
123
00:04:31,171 --> 00:04:32,441
WE SHAN'T!
124
00:04:32,473 --> 00:04:34,313
(laughter)
POLLY, WHAT'S NEW?
125
00:04:34,342 --> 00:04:36,642
OH, YOUR MOM FILLED ME IN
ON THE MOVING BACK IN
126
00:04:36,677 --> 00:04:39,647
AND THE CHEESE JOB
AND THE RESISTANCE
127
00:04:39,680 --> 00:04:41,450
TO KEEPING YOUR HAIR
OUT OF YOUR FACE.
128
00:04:41,482 --> 00:04:43,252
(chuckles) THAT SOUNDS LIKE
YOU ARE PRETTY UP TO DATE,
129
00:04:43,283 --> 00:04:45,823
ALTHOUGH YOU DID FORGET THE PART
WHERE I DROPPED OUT OF SCHOOL.
130
00:04:45,853 --> 00:04:47,693
ACTUALLY, I'VE BEEN TRYING
TO COORDINATE ALL THE MARKETS
131
00:04:47,721 --> 00:04:50,291
IN THE AREA TO DONATE
THEIR LEFTOVERS TO THE HOMELESS.
132
00:04:50,324 --> 00:04:52,294
LOOK AT YOU.
133
00:04:52,326 --> 00:04:55,956
JESSOOKA, POLLY'S WORKING
WITH HOMELESS PEOPLE.
134
00:04:55,996 --> 00:04:58,426
THAT'S FANTASTIC!
135
00:04:58,466 --> 00:05:01,026
BECAUSE... (laughs) THEY DON'T
HAVE HOMES, AND WE DO?
136
00:05:01,068 --> 00:05:03,938
MINE EVEN HAS
AN OLYMPIC SWIMMING POOL.
137
00:05:03,971 --> 00:05:06,511
ITALIAN TILE,
HEATED YEAR-ROUND.
138
00:05:06,540 --> 00:05:09,180
YOU SHOULD DROP BY SOMETIME
IN A BATHING SUIT.
139
00:05:09,209 --> 00:05:10,539
DO YOU REMEMBER
THAT 4th OF JULY PARTY
140
00:05:10,578 --> 00:05:12,948
WHERE I SANG
"THE STAR-SPANGLED BANNER"
141
00:05:12,980 --> 00:05:14,720
IN AN AMERICAN FLAG BIKINI?
(laughs)
142
00:05:14,748 --> 00:05:17,348
JESSOOKA, YOU KEPT ASKING ME TO
RUN SOMETHING UP THE FLAGPOLE.
143
00:05:17,385 --> 00:05:18,645
(laughter)
144
00:05:18,686 --> 00:05:21,216
I SHOULD PUT YOU IN TOUCH
WITH MY SON.
145
00:05:21,254 --> 00:05:23,024
HE WORKS AT FOOD CORPS.
146
00:05:23,056 --> 00:05:25,056
MAYBE YOU SHOULD GET INVOLVED
WITH HIS ORGANIZATION
147
00:05:25,092 --> 00:05:26,862
OR... HIM.
148
00:05:26,894 --> 00:05:29,504
HIS SKIN IS CLEARED UP NOW.
149
00:05:29,530 --> 00:05:30,960
THANK YOU.
I-I WOULD LOVE THAT.
150
00:05:30,998 --> 00:05:31,968
I'VE ALWAYS WANTED
TO HELP PEOPLE.
151
00:05:31,999 --> 00:05:33,529
IT'S MY CROSS TO BEAR.
152
00:05:33,567 --> 00:05:35,467
OH, MY GOD. THIS CROSS--
IT'S SO HEAVY.
153
00:05:35,503 --> 00:05:36,873
(laughter)
154
00:05:36,904 --> 00:05:38,344
I HELP PEOPLE, TOO.
155
00:05:38,372 --> 00:05:40,842
WITH MY LIFE COACHING,
I HELP PEOPLE.
156
00:05:40,874 --> 00:05:42,084
I JUST HELPED A CLIENT
LAST WEEK
157
00:05:42,109 --> 00:05:43,839
FIND HIS INNER LIGHT...
158
00:05:43,877 --> 00:05:45,677
AND HIS LOST CAT.
159
00:05:45,713 --> 00:05:48,323
I BET THIS IS
ONLY THE BEGINNING.
160
00:05:48,348 --> 00:05:52,188
YOU'RE GONNA DO SO MANY
GREAT THINGS IN YOUR LIFE.
161
00:05:52,219 --> 00:05:55,019
WOW. YOU LADIES SURE KNOW HOW
TO MAKE A GIRL FEEL WELCOME.
162
00:05:55,055 --> 00:05:56,185
(laughter)
163
00:05:56,223 --> 00:05:58,893
TO POLLY.
YES.
164
00:05:58,926 --> 00:06:01,186
PRETTY, PRETTY, PRETTY POLLY.
(clinking)
165
00:06:01,228 --> 00:06:02,858
(laughter)
166
00:06:02,896 --> 00:06:04,196
(clatter)
167
00:06:04,231 --> 00:06:05,531
(door opens)
168
00:06:05,566 --> 00:06:07,866
(gasps)
SO FUN AND INSPIRING.
169
00:06:07,901 --> 00:06:11,441
I MEAN, THEY WERE JUST
ALL SO, SO DELIGHTFUL.
170
00:06:11,472 --> 00:06:14,742
GOOD. GOOD, GOOD, GOOD, GOOD,
GOOD, GOOD, GOOD, GOOD.
171
00:06:14,775 --> 00:06:17,505
MUST HAVE BEEN SOME LUNCH, HUH?
DID YOU HAVE A GOOD TIME?
172
00:06:17,545 --> 00:06:20,075
SHE STOLE MY LESBIAN.
SO MUCH FUN.
173
00:06:28,756 --> 00:06:30,056
I WHAT?
I STOLE YOUR LESBIAN?
174
00:06:30,090 --> 00:06:33,530
YES. THIS HAS BEEN
THE WORST BIRTHDAY EVER.
175
00:06:33,561 --> 00:06:36,761
EVERYBODY FAWNED ALL OVER POLLY.
NOBODY WAS INTERESTED IN ME.
176
00:06:36,797 --> 00:06:38,527
(scoffs) MOM--
NO, WHY SHOULD THEY BE?
177
00:06:38,566 --> 00:06:41,596
I AM CLEARLY
NO LONGER FASCINATING.
178
00:06:41,635 --> 00:06:43,695
I AM YESTERDAY'S NEWS.
179
00:06:43,737 --> 00:06:47,307
I... AM A SACK
OF DAY-OLD BAGELS.
180
00:06:47,340 --> 00:06:48,640
OH. (sighs)
181
00:06:48,676 --> 00:06:49,636
YEAH. I AM.
182
00:06:49,677 --> 00:06:51,477
WELL...
183
00:06:51,512 --> 00:06:54,312
(voice breaking) AND IF YOU
NEED ME, I'LL BE IN THE BATHTUB.
184
00:06:54,347 --> 00:06:55,577
(sobbing)
185
00:06:55,616 --> 00:06:57,416
HOW WAS THE FOOD?
186
00:06:57,451 --> 00:06:59,921
(sobbing continues)
187
00:06:59,953 --> 00:07:02,123
I NEED TO GIVE MY MOM
A BIG EGO BOOST.
188
00:07:02,155 --> 00:07:03,715
WHAT SHOULD I DO?
189
00:07:03,757 --> 00:07:06,087
WHENEVER I FEEL BLUE, I JUST
PAY THE JUNKIES DOWNSTAIRS
190
00:07:06,126 --> 00:07:07,926
TO TELL ME THAT I'M PRETTIER
THAN A WEATHER GIRL.
191
00:07:07,961 --> 00:07:09,761
HMM.
192
00:07:09,797 --> 00:07:12,127
HEY, POLLY, I'M REALLY GLAD
YOU STARTED THE FOOD PROGRAM,
193
00:07:12,165 --> 00:07:15,835
BUT TWO HOMELESS GUYS OUTSIDE
JUST OFFERED TO FEEL ME UP
194
00:07:15,869 --> 00:07:18,609
IN EXCHANGE
FOR MORE SHORT RIBS.
DOUGIE AND RAY RAY.
195
00:07:18,639 --> 00:07:19,809
(clicks teeth)
YOU CAN DO BETTER.
196
00:07:19,840 --> 00:07:21,780
OH, WE DON'T HAVE
ANY MORE ANYWAY.
197
00:07:21,809 --> 00:07:23,839
HOW WOULD YOU FEEL IF
SOMEBODY YOU REALLY CARED ABOUT
198
00:07:23,877 --> 00:07:25,477
NEEDED AN EGO BOOST?
199
00:07:25,513 --> 00:07:28,523
OH. OKAY. SO NOT EVEN
THE PRETENSE OF WORKING.
200
00:07:28,549 --> 00:07:29,849
(chuckles)
WELL...
201
00:07:29,883 --> 00:07:32,023
I GUESS I'D TALK
TO A FRIEND OF THEIRS,
202
00:07:32,052 --> 00:07:33,452
FIND OUT WHAT MAKES THEM
FEEL GOOD.
203
00:07:33,487 --> 00:07:34,987
YES, YES. THANK YOU.
(snaps fingers)
204
00:07:35,022 --> 00:07:36,322
THAT GIVES ME A GREAT IDEA.
205
00:07:36,356 --> 00:07:39,986
I WILL MAKE UP ALL THE HOURS
THIS WEEKEND!
206
00:07:40,027 --> 00:07:41,157
(door opens)
207
00:07:41,194 --> 00:07:43,464
I AM AN IMPOSING
AUTHORITY FIGURE.
208
00:07:43,497 --> 00:07:44,527
(door closes)
209
00:07:47,334 --> 00:07:50,174
OKAY, SO I'M THINKING,
210
00:07:50,203 --> 00:07:52,343
ON THE OUTSIDE,
MODERN LIKE THE HOUSE,
211
00:07:52,372 --> 00:07:55,512
BUT ON THE INSIDE, WE GO
COZY, PRINCESS-Y, AND PINK,
212
00:07:55,543 --> 00:07:57,953
LIKE AN EXPLOSION
OF GIRLINESS.
213
00:07:57,978 --> 00:07:59,348
NO. ALL WRONG.
214
00:07:59,379 --> 00:08:01,519
PINK AND PRINCESSES
IS SO TWO MONTHS AGO.
215
00:08:01,549 --> 00:08:03,719
NATALIE'S INTO
RAINBOW GLIMMER PONIES NOW.
216
00:08:03,751 --> 00:08:06,321
OH. I DIDN'T KNOW THAT.
217
00:08:06,353 --> 00:08:07,693
MAYBE SHE FORGOT
TO MENTION IT.
218
00:08:07,721 --> 00:08:10,691
I SAY WE DO
OPEN, CLEAN LINES
219
00:08:10,724 --> 00:08:13,464
WITH HIDDEN CABINETS
HERE AND THERE.
220
00:08:13,493 --> 00:08:16,203
YEAH. THOSE DON'T REALLY
SCREAM "FUN" TO ME.
221
00:08:16,229 --> 00:08:19,029
IF ANYTHING, IT WHISPERS...
(whispers) NOT FUN AT ALL.
222
00:08:19,066 --> 00:08:21,696
I'LL TELL YOU WHAT.
LET'S DO THIS IN A FAIR WAY.
223
00:08:21,735 --> 00:08:24,365
OKAY? WHOEVER HAS ACHIEVED
GREAT SUCCESS
224
00:08:24,404 --> 00:08:27,344
DEVOTING THEIR LIFE
TO ART AND CREATIVITY
225
00:08:27,374 --> 00:08:28,714
WILL HAVE THE PROJECT.
226
00:08:28,742 --> 00:08:29,842
THANKS.
227
00:08:29,877 --> 00:08:30,837
HMM.
228
00:08:30,878 --> 00:08:32,548
OH, YOU MEAN YOU.
229
00:08:32,580 --> 00:08:35,220
OH. WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT?
I THINK NATALIE SHOULD CHOOSE.
230
00:08:35,248 --> 00:08:37,348
I MEAN, IT IS HER PLAYHOUSE.
231
00:08:37,384 --> 00:08:40,354
FINE. AND I'M QUITE CERTAIN
SHE WILL CHOOSE THE PERSON
232
00:08:40,387 --> 00:08:43,087
WHO KNOWS HER INNERMOST
WANTS AND NEEDS.
233
00:08:44,692 --> 00:08:46,362
YOU MEAN YOU AGAIN.
234
00:08:46,393 --> 00:08:49,433
OKAY. (exhales) STARTING
TO GET THE HANG OF THIS.
235
00:08:49,462 --> 00:08:52,072
I'LL CALL YOU
WHEN HE'S OUT OF REHAB.
(door closes)
236
00:08:52,099 --> 00:08:53,499
(gasps) POLLY!
237
00:08:53,533 --> 00:08:55,573
THANK YOU SO MUCH
FOR LETTING ME STOP BY.
238
00:08:55,603 --> 00:08:57,373
WELL, I TALKED TO MY SON
ABOUT YOUR WORK
239
00:08:57,404 --> 00:08:59,844
WITH THE HOMELESS.
HE LOVES YOUR IDEAS
240
00:08:59,873 --> 00:09:02,213
AND WANTS TO SET UP A MEETING,
BUT, YOU KNOW,
241
00:09:02,242 --> 00:09:04,952
HE'S LEAVING TOWN TOMORROW,
SO CAN YOU MEET HIM LATER TODAY?
242
00:09:04,978 --> 00:09:07,248
YES. THANK YOU SO MUCH.
THAT'S GREAT.
243
00:09:07,280 --> 00:09:09,220
BUT I, UM, I'M ACTUALLY
HERE ABOUT MY MOTHER, THOUGH.
244
00:09:09,249 --> 00:09:10,419
HER FACE JUST LIT UP
THE OTHER DAY
245
00:09:10,450 --> 00:09:11,850
WHEN SHE WAS TALKING
ABOUT ACTING,
246
00:09:11,885 --> 00:09:14,755
AND I THOUGHT MAYBE YOU COULD
FIND A ROLE FOR HER.
247
00:09:14,788 --> 00:09:16,718
OH, SURE. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I'M HER BIGGEST FAN.
248
00:09:16,757 --> 00:09:21,727
WELL, BESIDES HER.
AND, ODDLY, BOB BALABAN.
249
00:09:21,762 --> 00:09:24,132
HUH.
WELL, THANK YOU SO MUCH.
250
00:09:24,164 --> 00:09:25,604
AND CAN WE JUST
KEEP THIS BETWEEN US?
251
00:09:25,633 --> 00:09:27,073
MY MOTHER'S
A VERY DELICATE FLOWER
252
00:09:27,100 --> 00:09:30,370
WHO BLOOMS PRIDEFULLY
IN HER OWN GLORIOUS WAY.
253
00:09:30,403 --> 00:09:33,413
I'D BE SUCH A BETTER ACTRESS
WITH ALL MY EXPERIENCE NOW.
THAT'S TRUE.
254
00:09:33,440 --> 00:09:37,580
UM... YOU ARE SMILING
AND SPEAKING
255
00:09:37,611 --> 00:09:39,951
AND NOT TOTALLY COVERED
IN BUBBLES.
256
00:09:39,980 --> 00:09:41,650
(chuckles) MMM.
(New Age music playing)
257
00:09:41,682 --> 00:09:43,552
I GOT AN AUDITION
FOR AN INDIE.
258
00:09:43,583 --> 00:09:45,793
(gasps)
THAT'S "INDEPENDENT FILM"
FOR YOU CIVILIAN TYPES.
259
00:09:45,819 --> 00:09:48,119
PRETTY COMMON TERM, BUT WHAT?
260
00:09:48,155 --> 00:09:52,155
THAT IS THE MOST...
UNEXPECTED... MOST NEWS
261
00:09:52,192 --> 00:09:53,462
YOU COULD TELL ME RIGHT NOW.
262
00:09:53,493 --> 00:09:54,803
CAROLINE CALLED. SHE SAID,
263
00:09:54,828 --> 00:09:56,098
"WELL, I KNOW
YOU'VE QUIT ACTING,
264
00:09:56,129 --> 00:09:57,499
BUT THIS GREAT PART CAME UP,"
265
00:09:57,530 --> 00:10:00,570
AND I'M THE ONLY ACTRESS
WHO COULD PLAY IT.
266
00:10:00,600 --> 00:10:02,500
WELL, SHE DIDN'T SAY THAT,
BUT IT WAS IMPLIED.
267
00:10:02,535 --> 00:10:03,935
I AM JUST SO HAPPY TO BE HERE
268
00:10:03,971 --> 00:10:06,811
TO SWIM
IN THE WAKE OF YOUR HAPPINESS.
269
00:10:06,840 --> 00:10:08,480
(chuckles)
I'LL BE IN THE OFFICE.
270
00:10:08,508 --> 00:10:10,808
SHE'S E-MAILING ME THE PAGES.
271
00:10:10,844 --> 00:10:12,284
GOOD FOR YOU, DARLING.
272
00:10:12,312 --> 00:10:13,652
(refrigerator opens)
273
00:10:13,681 --> 00:10:15,121
CRAZY, RIGHT?
274
00:10:15,148 --> 00:10:17,178
CRAZY SMART.
275
00:10:17,217 --> 00:10:20,287
I DID IT. I MADE IT HAPPEN.
276
00:10:20,320 --> 00:10:23,790
(singsongy) HELPING MY MOM.
I'M HELPING THE HOMELESS.
277
00:10:23,824 --> 00:10:27,094
YOU DIDN'T HELP WITH ANYTHING,
'CAUSE POLLY'S A-HELPIN'.
(can tab pops)
278
00:10:27,127 --> 00:10:30,997
UH-HUH. SO YOU'LL BE RESPONSIBLE
IF SHE DOESN'T GET THE PART.
279
00:10:31,031 --> 00:10:34,331
REMEMBER HOW FUN OUR LIVES WERE
WHEN SHE DIDN'T GET A PART?
280
00:10:35,803 --> 00:10:38,043
I DON'T WANNA LIVE.
I DON'T WANNA LIVE.
281
00:10:38,071 --> 00:10:39,611
I DON'T WANNA LIVE.
282
00:10:39,639 --> 00:10:42,039
HONEY, IT WAS TWO LINES
IN A CORPORATE VIDEO.
283
00:10:42,075 --> 00:10:45,505
LIFE IS
A CRUEL, SADISTIC OVERLORD.
284
00:10:45,545 --> 00:10:47,675
SO I GUESS
THE ROLLER RINK'S OUT.
285
00:10:47,715 --> 00:10:49,015
OH, (bleep).
286
00:10:49,049 --> 00:10:50,319
YEAH, NOW YOU'VE DONE IT.
287
00:10:50,350 --> 00:10:53,190
YOU HAVE REOPENED
A SEALED PORTAL.
288
00:10:53,220 --> 00:10:56,560
THINGS ARE DIFFERENT NOW.
I MEAN, SHE IS OLDER AND WISER,
289
00:10:56,589 --> 00:10:58,529
AND WE ARE IN BIG TROUBLE.
290
00:10:58,558 --> 00:11:00,358
(Polly) SPEAKING
OF IMPENDING DISASTERS...
291
00:11:00,393 --> 00:11:04,163
IN CONCLUSION, I FEEL MY VERSION
OF THE PLAYHOUSE OFFERS
292
00:11:04,197 --> 00:11:07,997
NOT ONLY BEAUTY AND COMFORT
BUT A SANCTUARY,
293
00:11:08,035 --> 00:11:10,895
A RESPITE FOR YOU
FROM THE DAILY RIGORS
294
00:11:10,938 --> 00:11:12,838
OF MODERN-DAY CHILDHOOD...
295
00:11:12,873 --> 00:11:15,013
AND A BUILT-IN
JUICE BOX RACK.
296
00:11:15,042 --> 00:11:16,382
HUH?
297
00:11:16,409 --> 00:11:17,879
THANK YOU.
I LIKE IT.
298
00:11:17,911 --> 00:11:20,551
LOTS OF PURPLE.
PURPLE IS GOOD.
299
00:11:21,581 --> 00:11:23,181
GRANDPA, YOU'RE UP.
300
00:11:23,216 --> 00:11:25,846
YOU KNOW, THERE'S NOTHING WRONG
WITH A SANCTUARY,
301
00:11:25,886 --> 00:11:28,316
YOU KNOW, IF YOU GOT A HUMP.
YEAH.
302
00:11:28,355 --> 00:11:29,915
(imitates Quasimodo)
SANCTUARY!
303
00:11:29,957 --> 00:11:32,887
BUT WHEN I LOOK AT YOU,
I SEE A GIRL ON THE GO.
304
00:11:32,926 --> 00:11:34,856
I SEE SOMEONE WHO'S GONNA BE
ENTERTAINING A LOT.
305
00:11:34,895 --> 00:11:37,865
I SEE A GIRL WHO'S GONNA
WANT A SHOWPLACE
306
00:11:37,898 --> 00:11:40,328
FOR HER IMPORTANT PIECES
LIKE HANG TEN BARBIE
307
00:11:40,367 --> 00:11:43,067
AND MR. FOOFOO BEAR.
308
00:11:43,103 --> 00:11:46,513
TO THAT END, I PROPOSE
A CLEAN, OPEN SPACE
309
00:11:46,539 --> 00:11:47,879
WITH DISPLAY SHELVES,
310
00:11:47,908 --> 00:11:51,378
MAYBE A DRESS-UP CLOSET,
AND A BUILT-IN TABLE
311
00:11:51,411 --> 00:11:55,551
FOR IMPORTANT PROJECTS,
MEETINGS, OR A LIGHT NOSH.
312
00:11:55,582 --> 00:11:57,452
I THANK YOU
FOR YOUR CONSIDERATION.
313
00:11:59,953 --> 00:12:01,553
(clears throat)
314
00:12:01,588 --> 00:12:04,188
YOU'VE BOTH DONE GREAT WORK.
315
00:12:04,224 --> 00:12:08,104
BUT GRANDPA KNOWS
WHAT I LIKE THIS WEEK.
316
00:12:08,128 --> 00:12:10,598
THAT'S OKAY, RIGHT, DADDY?
317
00:12:10,630 --> 00:12:12,430
SURE.
318
00:12:14,835 --> 00:12:16,565
WE'LL GET RIGHT ON IT,
SCOOTER PIE.
319
00:12:16,603 --> 00:12:18,943
DON'T DISAPPOINT ME, BOYS.
320
00:12:18,972 --> 00:12:21,982
(Elaine) ANYWAY, I WAS JUST
WAY TOO NERVOUS TO DRIVE.
321
00:12:22,009 --> 00:12:24,739
I HOPE I'M NOT PULLING YOU
AWAY FROM ANYTHING IMPORTANT.
322
00:12:24,778 --> 00:12:27,448
OH. NO, NO. JUST A MEETING
ABOUT WORLD HUNGER...
323
00:12:27,480 --> 00:12:30,420
(gasps)
THAT CANNOT BE RESCHEDULED.
IT MAY HAVE CHANGED MY LIFE
324
00:12:30,450 --> 00:12:32,450
AND THE LIVES OF STARVING PEOPLE
THE WORLD OVER.
325
00:12:32,485 --> 00:12:35,285
IT'S NO BIGGIE.
(telephone ringing,
women speaking indistinctly)
326
00:12:35,322 --> 00:12:36,922
I'M SURE THE FOOD CORPS
I BLEW OFF
327
00:12:36,957 --> 00:12:38,487
WILL TOTALLY UNDERSTAND
THAT DRIVING YOU TO AN AUDITION
328
00:12:38,525 --> 00:12:40,125
FOR A MOVIE
CALLED "TRACY'S PROMISE"
329
00:12:40,160 --> 00:12:41,660
IS FAR MORE IMPORTANT.
330
00:12:41,694 --> 00:12:43,134
OH, I'M SURE HE WILL.
331
00:12:43,163 --> 00:12:44,703
OKAY, LET ME SEE
WHAT I'M UP AGAINST HERE.
332
00:12:46,266 --> 00:12:48,636
(under breath) HACK.
333
00:12:48,668 --> 00:12:49,898
"IT'S NOT. I'M..."
334
00:12:49,937 --> 00:12:51,767
TOTAL NUTCASE.
335
00:12:51,805 --> 00:12:53,605
SHE'S JUST A JERK.
336
00:12:53,640 --> 00:12:54,980
(gasps) OH.
337
00:12:55,008 --> 00:12:56,808
ALL RIGHT.
338
00:12:56,844 --> 00:13:00,084
(snorting)
I KNOW YOU'RE GONNA BE
SO GREAT, OKAY?
339
00:13:00,113 --> 00:13:02,253
OKAY.
BUT WHATEVER HAPPENS
IN THERE,
340
00:13:02,282 --> 00:13:03,482
THIS IS
ALL ABOUT THE EXPERIENCE.
341
00:13:03,516 --> 00:13:06,946
NO. SHH. JUST FIND MY CENTER.
342
00:13:06,987 --> 00:13:09,287
GO INTO A FUGUE STATE.
343
00:13:09,322 --> 00:13:11,622
APPLY LIP GLOSS.
344
00:13:11,658 --> 00:13:13,288
ADJUST MY BOOBS.
345
00:13:13,326 --> 00:13:14,996
THEY LOOK GREAT.
THANK YOU.
346
00:13:15,028 --> 00:13:16,798
(whirs)
347
00:13:16,830 --> 00:13:18,770
HER NICKNAME
IS "PEANUT BRITTLE."
348
00:13:18,798 --> 00:13:22,338
(whirs)
"SCOOTER PIE"? STUPID.
349
00:13:22,369 --> 00:13:23,769
HEY, JULIAN.
350
00:13:23,803 --> 00:13:27,113
LISTEN, NATALIE'S STARTING
TO GROW UP,
351
00:13:27,140 --> 00:13:28,980
AND I JUST WANTED TO MAKE SURE
THAT THE PLAYHOUSE
352
00:13:29,009 --> 00:13:31,179
GROWS WITH HER, YOU KNOW?
353
00:13:31,211 --> 00:13:32,811
IF WE DO IT YOUR WAY,
THERE'S A CHANCE THAT
354
00:13:32,846 --> 00:13:35,346
SHE MAY NOT USE IT
DOWN THE ROAD.
355
00:13:35,382 --> 00:13:36,452
I JUST WANNA MAKE SURE THAT--
(whirring)
356
00:13:36,483 --> 00:13:39,693
OHH! OHH!
AAH!
357
00:13:39,719 --> 00:13:42,189
YOU CUT OFF THE TIP
OF MY FINGER! YOU CUT IT OFF!
358
00:13:42,222 --> 00:13:44,962
OKAY!
I GOT BLOOD ON MY NEW POLO!
BLOOD ON MY NEW POLO!
359
00:13:44,992 --> 00:13:46,392
CALM DOWN.
OKAY, CALM DOWN.
360
00:13:46,426 --> 00:13:48,056
I'M GONNA TAKE NATALIE--
CALMING!
361
00:13:48,095 --> 00:13:49,725
I'M GONNA TAKE NATALIE
TO THE NEIGHBORS,
362
00:13:49,762 --> 00:13:51,832
THEN I'M GONNA
BRING YOU HOME.
363
00:13:51,865 --> 00:13:54,025
THEN I'M--THEN I'M GONNA
BRING YOU TO THE HOSPITAL.
(grunting)
364
00:13:54,067 --> 00:13:55,697
AAH!
WHERE IS IT?
365
00:13:55,735 --> 00:13:58,505
OH! (gagging)
THE FINGER.
YOU DROPPED MY FINGER.
366
00:13:58,538 --> 00:14:01,878
HELP ME FIND IT!
AAH! OKAY! DO YOU SEE IT?
367
00:14:01,909 --> 00:14:04,639
TELL ME.
IT WAS ON THE BOTTOM
OF MY SHOE. I GOT IT!
368
00:14:04,677 --> 00:14:07,547
BRING IT UP.
WE GOT ABOUT 30 MINUTES.
AAH!
369
00:14:07,580 --> 00:14:10,250
I GOT IT.
YOU'RE GONNA PUT IT ON ICE!
YOU'RE GONNA PUT IT ON ICE!
370
00:14:10,283 --> 00:14:11,583
I'M GONNA THROW UP!
ON ICE!
371
00:14:11,618 --> 00:14:13,588
I'M GONNA THROW UP!
PUT IT ON ICE!
372
00:14:18,926 --> 00:14:20,256
NOT TO WORRY. I HAVE THE REST
OF THE FINGER RIGHT HERE.
373
00:14:20,293 --> 00:14:22,833
I AM GONNA TAKE CARE
OF EVERYTHING.
374
00:14:22,862 --> 00:14:24,702
DOES ANYONE KNOW
WHERE WE SHOULD GO?!
375
00:14:24,731 --> 00:14:26,371
IS THERE
A FINGER DEPARTMENT?!
376
00:14:26,399 --> 00:14:27,699
HERE, SIR.
377
00:14:27,734 --> 00:14:30,774
YOU CAN HELP?! (panting) OKAY.
THANK YOU.
378
00:14:30,803 --> 00:14:33,373
HERE. FILL THAT OUT.
HE WAS--
I'M A LEFTIE.
379
00:14:33,406 --> 00:14:35,706
SORRY.
EXCUSE ME.
380
00:14:35,742 --> 00:14:38,712
DO YOU KNOW AT WHAT POINT
THE TISSUE OF THE FINGER...
(barks)
381
00:14:38,745 --> 00:14:40,845
THE DOG HAS MY FINGER!
HEY!
382
00:14:40,880 --> 00:14:41,920
THE DOG HAS MY--
383
00:14:41,949 --> 00:14:43,749
GET IT!
384
00:14:43,783 --> 00:14:45,253
GET HIM!
385
00:14:45,285 --> 00:14:49,015
OH. OH. OH.
(barking)
386
00:14:49,056 --> 00:14:51,416
I GOT IT.
387
00:14:51,458 --> 00:14:54,428
I GOT IT. (panting)
388
00:14:54,461 --> 00:14:57,601
THE ONLY FINGER OF MINE
THAT I'LL BE GIVING YOU
389
00:14:57,630 --> 00:15:01,600
FROM HERE ON OUT IS THE ONE
I GAVE YOU ON YOUR WEDDING DAY.
390
00:15:01,634 --> 00:15:04,904
THE REAL QUESTION IS,
391
00:15:04,938 --> 00:15:08,938
DO I HAVE TIME TO DEVOTE
TO ANOTHER SUCCESSFUL CAREER?
392
00:15:08,976 --> 00:15:10,606
I MEAN, THIS ROLE
IS GOING TO LEAD TO OTHERS.
393
00:15:10,643 --> 00:15:13,283
THERE'LL BE PRESS TOURS,
TRAVEL,
394
00:15:13,313 --> 00:15:15,423
A HOSPITAL STAY
DUE TO EXHAUSTION.
395
00:15:15,448 --> 00:15:17,718
MOM, MAYBE YOU SHOULDN'T
GET AHEAD OF YOURSELF...
396
00:15:17,750 --> 00:15:19,790
(refrigerator opens)
BECAUSE IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU ARE
SO FAR AHEAD OF YOURSELF
397
00:15:19,819 --> 00:15:21,389
THAT YOU ARE NOT
ON THE PLANET EARTH ANYMORE.
(refrigerator closes)
398
00:15:21,421 --> 00:15:22,791
OH, THE REAL DILEMMA'S
GONNA BE
399
00:15:22,822 --> 00:15:24,992
MY LIFE COACHING CLIENTS
WORSHIP ME.
400
00:15:25,025 --> 00:15:26,125
(gasps)
401
00:15:26,159 --> 00:15:28,329
DO I JUST ABANDON THEM?
402
00:15:28,361 --> 00:15:30,431
YEAH, SURE. (bleep) 'EM.
403
00:15:30,463 --> 00:15:32,903
LISTEN, NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS,
I KNOW THAT YOU ARE GONNA
404
00:15:32,932 --> 00:15:34,272
TAKE THIS LIKE A CHAMP.
405
00:15:34,301 --> 00:15:36,401
IN AN UNRELATED QUESTION,
406
00:15:36,436 --> 00:15:39,306
HOW ARE YOU FIXED
FOR ANTI-ANXIETY MEDS?
407
00:15:39,339 --> 00:15:40,939
(cell phone rings)
OH! OH! AAH!
408
00:15:40,974 --> 00:15:42,614
THIS COULD BE IT.
(ring)
409
00:15:42,642 --> 00:15:43,682
OH, NO, YOU TAKE IT.
410
00:15:43,710 --> 00:15:45,610
YOU TAKE IT.
MMM. MMM.
411
00:15:45,645 --> 00:15:47,175
(beep)
HELLO?
412
00:15:47,214 --> 00:15:49,024
UH, YOU KNOW,
THIS IS HER DAUGHTER.
413
00:15:49,049 --> 00:15:50,879
SHE ASKED ME TO TAKE IT.
414
00:15:53,886 --> 00:15:56,186
OH. OKAY.
415
00:15:56,223 --> 00:15:58,263
NOPE. SHE'S NOT--
UM... MM-HMM.
416
00:15:58,291 --> 00:15:59,931
(laughs)
OH, THAT IS--
417
00:15:59,959 --> 00:16:02,959
OH, THAT IS--WELL, THAT IS
EXACTLY WHAT I WILL TELL HER.
418
00:16:02,996 --> 00:16:04,756
OKAY. THANK YOU.
419
00:16:04,797 --> 00:16:06,097
(beep)
420
00:16:06,133 --> 00:16:09,643
SO, UM... (gulps)
YOU DID NOT GET IT.
421
00:16:09,669 --> 00:16:11,499
BUT THEY SAID
THAT YOU DID A GREAT JOB,
422
00:16:11,538 --> 00:16:14,338
AND YOU HAD A VERY...
INTERESTING TAKE ON THE ROLE.
423
00:16:14,374 --> 00:16:16,814
SO THAT'S... GOOD, RIGHT?
424
00:16:16,843 --> 00:16:18,953
PACK A BAG.
YOU'RE DRIVING ME TO SEDONA.
425
00:16:18,978 --> 00:16:20,648
(laughs) I AM NOT DRIVING YOU
TO SEDONA.
426
00:16:20,680 --> 00:16:22,120
(clenches teeth) I NEED
TO DEAL WITH THE HEALING POWER
427
00:16:22,149 --> 00:16:23,479
OF THE RED ROCKS.
428
00:16:23,516 --> 00:16:25,186
MOM, IT WAS A TINY PART
IN A LITTLE INDIE FILM
429
00:16:25,218 --> 00:16:27,348
THAT NO ONE WILL SEE UNLESS
THE MOVIE THEY WENT TO SEE
430
00:16:27,387 --> 00:16:29,017
WAS SOLD OUT AND THEY'D
ALREADY PAID FOR PARKING.
(glass clatters)
431
00:16:29,056 --> 00:16:32,886
OH, MY GOD. YOU ARE BEING
SO UNSUPPORTIVE.
432
00:16:32,925 --> 00:16:35,195
(scoffs) ARE YOU KIDDING ME
RIGHT NOW?
NO.
433
00:16:35,228 --> 00:16:36,498
ALL I'VE BEEN TRYING TO DO
IS HELP YOU.
434
00:16:36,529 --> 00:16:38,669
I MEAN, I'M THE ONE
WHO ASKED CAROLINE
435
00:16:38,698 --> 00:16:39,968
TO GET YOU THE AUDITION.
(gasps)
436
00:16:39,999 --> 00:16:42,069
OH, MY GOD.
WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?
437
00:16:42,102 --> 00:16:43,502
BECAUSE WHENEVER
YOU'RE MISERABLE,
438
00:16:43,536 --> 00:16:45,066
I FEEL LIKE I HAVE TO...
(groans)
439
00:16:45,105 --> 00:16:46,705
SPRING INTO ACTION LIKE SOME
SORT OF EMOTIONAL SUPERHERO.
440
00:16:46,739 --> 00:16:49,539
STEP ASIDE, CITIZENS.
I MUST RESTORE MY MOTHER'S EGO
441
00:16:49,576 --> 00:16:52,376
AND STEM THE TIDE
OF UNNECESSARY BATHING.
442
00:16:52,412 --> 00:16:55,152
YES, AND UNFORTUNATELY YOU HAVE
MADE THINGS SO MUCH WORSE.
443
00:16:55,182 --> 00:16:57,052
WELL, YOU HAVE MADE THINGS
WORSE FOR ME.
444
00:16:57,084 --> 00:16:59,024
OH, YEAH.
I TURNED MY BACK
ON THE ACTUAL NEEDY FOR YOU.
445
00:16:59,052 --> 00:17:00,892
UH-HUH. AND WHO'S MORE NEEDY
THAN ACTORS?
446
00:17:00,920 --> 00:17:02,190
OH, I DON'T KNOW.
THE HOMELESS?
447
00:17:02,222 --> 00:17:03,992
MOST OF THEM--EX-ACTORS.
448
00:17:04,023 --> 00:17:06,693
I AM SO SICK OF ALWAYS PUTTING
YOUR NEEDS AHEAD OF MINE.
449
00:17:06,726 --> 00:17:09,556
I AM FINALLY DOING SOMETHING
THAT IS IMPORTANT TO ME,
450
00:17:09,596 --> 00:17:12,526
AND ALL YOU CAN SEE IS YOUR
OWN STAR RISING AND FALLING.
451
00:17:12,565 --> 00:17:14,595
THAT'S BECAUSE MY MOTHER
DRILLED INTO MY HEAD...
(taps table)
452
00:17:14,634 --> 00:17:18,374
THAT LOOKING OUT FOR
NUMBER ONE SPELLS SUCCESS.
453
00:17:18,405 --> 00:17:20,935
WELL, I GUESS I WOULDN'T KNOW
WHAT SPELLS SUCCESS,
454
00:17:20,973 --> 00:17:24,283
BECAUSE MY MOTHER MADE ME
MISS TOO MANY SPELLING TESTS.
455
00:17:27,880 --> 00:17:29,950
OKAY, YOU'RE ALL GOOD.
456
00:17:29,982 --> 00:17:31,552
REMEMBER TO CHANGE
THE BANDAGES,
457
00:17:31,584 --> 00:17:35,624
AND YOU SHOULD BE COMPLETELY
HEALED IN ABOUT FOUR WEEKS.
458
00:17:35,655 --> 00:17:37,385
HE MIGHT TAKE MUCH LONGER.
459
00:17:37,424 --> 00:17:39,234
THANK YOU.
460
00:17:39,259 --> 00:17:40,429
(monitor beeping steadily)
461
00:17:40,460 --> 00:17:41,930
WILL YOU STOP CRYING?
462
00:17:41,961 --> 00:17:44,361
IT WAS AN ACCIDENT,
A RIDICULOUS ACCIDENT--
463
00:17:44,397 --> 00:17:46,097
YEAH, BUT WHAT IF IT WASN'T?
464
00:17:46,133 --> 00:17:48,543
I MEAN, WHAT IF I...
MAIMED YOU ON PURPOSE
465
00:17:48,568 --> 00:17:50,738
AFTER THE DARKNESS
TOOK HOLD,
466
00:17:50,770 --> 00:17:52,440
SO THAT YOU
WOULDN'T BE SO PERFECT,
467
00:17:52,472 --> 00:17:54,372
AND NATALIE WOULDN'T
DOTE ON YOU SO MUCH?
468
00:17:54,407 --> 00:17:56,777
I'M NOT PERFECT, JULIAN.
469
00:17:56,809 --> 00:17:59,279
I'M VERY, VERY CLOSE,
BUT SO WHAT?
470
00:17:59,312 --> 00:18:03,122
SO I GUESS I DIDN'T KNOW
HOW HARD IT WOULD BE
471
00:18:03,150 --> 00:18:06,490
MISSING THE DAY-TO-DAY
OF MY KID'S LIFE.
472
00:18:06,519 --> 00:18:08,589
I MEAN, YOU'RE THERE
ALL THE TIME.
473
00:18:08,621 --> 00:18:10,461
YOU'RE THERE WHEN SHE GETS UP
IN THE MORNING.
474
00:18:10,490 --> 00:18:12,660
GUESS I'M AFRAID THAT
YOU'LL BE HER ROLE MODEL,
475
00:18:12,692 --> 00:18:16,302
AND I'LL BE SOME PUTZ
WHO HANGS AROUND SOMETIMES.
476
00:18:16,329 --> 00:18:17,999
YOU'RE NOT THE PUTZ
WHO HANGS AROUND.
477
00:18:18,030 --> 00:18:20,430
COME ON. THEY NEED THE BED.
I DON'T WANT TO LOSE HER.
478
00:18:20,467 --> 00:18:22,397
YOU WON'T.
479
00:18:22,435 --> 00:18:25,135
LOOK, I'M SORRY IF
I GOT BETWEEN YOU.
480
00:18:25,172 --> 00:18:28,072
I'LL TRY TO BE
MORE CONSCIOUS OF IT, OKAY?
481
00:18:28,107 --> 00:18:30,637
OKAY. (scoffs)
482
00:18:30,677 --> 00:18:32,477
THANKS, MAX.
EASY.
483
00:18:32,512 --> 00:18:35,522
I'M REALLY SORRY
ABOUT YOUR FINGER. GOD.
484
00:18:35,548 --> 00:18:38,518
SILVER LINING--
485
00:18:38,551 --> 00:18:40,291
I FEEL REALLY CLOSE
TO YOU RIGHT NOW.
486
00:18:40,320 --> 00:18:43,490
OKAY. ME, TOO.
487
00:18:43,523 --> 00:18:47,293
BUT IT'S PROBABLY
THE PRESCRIPTION PAIN KILLERS.
(chuckles)
488
00:18:47,327 --> 00:18:50,457
I FEEL CLOSE TO THAT JAR
OF COTTON BALLS OVER THERE.
489
00:18:50,497 --> 00:18:52,827
THERE'S NO JAR
OF COTTON BALLS THERE.
490
00:18:54,367 --> 00:18:56,037
MOM, IT'S LATE.
I AM SO TIRED.
491
00:18:56,068 --> 00:18:59,808
I JUST WANT TO GO TO BED.
WHERE ARE YOU TAKING ME?
492
00:18:59,839 --> 00:19:01,839
WHY DO I HAVE CHEESE
IN MY LAP?
493
00:19:01,874 --> 00:19:05,114
I THOUGHT ABOUT
WHAT YOU SAID BEFORE,
494
00:19:05,144 --> 00:19:10,284
AND YOU'RE RIGHT, SO I AM
TAKING YOU TO SKID ROW.
495
00:19:10,317 --> 00:19:11,547
AND LEAVING ME THERE?
496
00:19:11,584 --> 00:19:13,354
WE'RE GOING TO FEED
THE HOMELESS.
497
00:19:13,386 --> 00:19:16,156
WE ARE?
MM-HMM.
I WANT YOU TO KNOW
498
00:19:16,189 --> 00:19:18,529
THAT YOUR DREAMS
ARE IMPORTANT TO ME, POLLY.
499
00:19:18,558 --> 00:19:20,888
I AM SO PROUD
OF WHAT YOU'RE DOING.
(siren wailing in distance)
500
00:19:20,927 --> 00:19:22,827
YOU'RE JUST SPECTACULAR.
501
00:19:22,862 --> 00:19:25,332
I DON'T KNOW.
I GUESS I FEEL...
502
00:19:25,365 --> 00:19:27,325
COMPETITIVE.
503
00:19:27,367 --> 00:19:32,037
WELL, DON'T.
YOU'RE A FORCE OF NATURE.
504
00:19:32,071 --> 00:19:33,471
AND THE DIRECTOR
OF THE MOVIE
505
00:19:33,506 --> 00:19:35,006
EVEN ASKED ME
IF YOU WERE SINGLE.
506
00:19:35,041 --> 00:19:37,881
WHAT?
(brakes screech)
507
00:19:37,910 --> 00:19:39,980
WHY DIDN'T YOU
SAY SOMETHING SOONER?
508
00:19:40,012 --> 00:19:42,752
(gasps) HE'S, LIKE,
HALF MY AGE.
509
00:19:42,782 --> 00:19:45,852
(men speaking indistinctly)
OH, MY GOD. I'M ATTRACTIVE
TO A WHOLE NEW GENERATION.
510
00:19:45,885 --> 00:19:47,715
MOM, MAYBE YOU SHOULD
KEEP MOVING.
(laughs)
511
00:19:47,754 --> 00:19:50,524
KEEP MOVING.
OH, LOOK, HE'S ALREADY
GOT A CHEESE KNIFE.
512
00:19:50,557 --> 00:19:52,857
LET'S JUST DROP--LET'S DROP IT
OFF AT THE FOOD BANK.
OKAY.
513
00:19:52,892 --> 00:19:55,062
MOM, THIS IS NOT REALLY--
COMING THROUGH. FOLLOW US!
WE HAVE CHEESE!
514
00:19:55,094 --> 00:19:56,864
(Polly) MIDNIGHT...
(horn honks)
515
00:19:56,896 --> 00:19:58,896
(laughter)
AND THE WHOLE AUDITION
516
00:19:58,931 --> 00:20:01,671
THIS GUY WAS JUST UNDRESSING ME
WITH HIS EYES.
NO.
517
00:20:01,701 --> 00:20:04,441
SOME PEOPLE LIVE TO BE
THE CENTER OF ATTENTION.
518
00:20:04,471 --> 00:20:07,371
(women speaking indistinctly
and laughing)
519
00:20:07,407 --> 00:20:09,777
BUT SOMETIMES IT'S BETTER
TO HANG BACK
520
00:20:09,809 --> 00:20:12,109
AND LET SOMEONE ELSE
HAVE THE SPOTLIGHT.
521
00:20:12,144 --> 00:20:13,584
(squeals)
522
00:20:13,613 --> 00:20:14,583
THANK YOU!
YOU'RE WELCOME.
523
00:20:14,614 --> 00:20:16,384
THANK YOU, THANK YOU.
524
00:20:16,416 --> 00:20:18,716
I LOVE IT.
525
00:20:18,751 --> 00:20:20,891
**
526
00:20:20,920 --> 00:20:25,760
ME--I'M JUST HAPPY TO BE
WHEREVER I'M NEEDED.
527
00:20:25,792 --> 00:20:27,762
WOULD IT KILL YOU
TO INCLUDE A NAPKIN?
528
00:20:27,794 --> 00:20:30,304
WHAT ARE YOU,
HOARDING NAPKINS NOW?
529
00:20:30,330 --> 00:20:32,270
YOU KNOW, MOST OF THE TIME.
530
00:20:32,299 --> 00:20:35,739
(woman)
* GONNA MAKE A CHANGE TODAY
531
00:20:40,273 --> 00:20:41,913
I'M ELAINE GREEN,
532
00:20:41,941 --> 00:20:43,481
AND I WILL BE READING THE ROLE
OF JIMMY'S MOTHER.
533
00:20:43,510 --> 00:20:45,010
(man) OKAY,
WHENEVER YOU'RE READY.
534
00:20:46,646 --> 00:20:48,616
JIMMY, MOMMY IS HERE.
535
00:20:48,648 --> 00:20:51,248
I KNOW THAT THE TUMOR IS GROWING
AND THAT YOU'RE SCARED,
536
00:20:51,284 --> 00:20:54,354
BUT I'M GONNA TAKE CARE OF YOU.
537
00:20:56,323 --> 00:20:58,123
OKAY. UH, WE'LL--
WE'LL TRY IT AGAIN.
538
00:20:58,157 --> 00:21:01,487
IT SEEMS LIKE
YOU'RE TRYING TO SEDUCE--
539
00:21:01,528 --> 00:21:03,398
YOU KNOW, THIS IS A
KID
WITH CANCER.
540
00:21:03,430 --> 00:21:04,600
OKAY.
541
00:21:04,631 --> 00:21:05,931
SO IT'S NOT
SEXUAL AT ALL.
542
00:21:05,965 --> 00:21:07,495
(whispers) NOT
SEXUAL...
(normal voice)
OKAY.
543
00:21:09,336 --> 00:21:12,266
JIMMY, BABY,
MOMMY IS HERE.
544
00:21:12,305 --> 00:21:13,965
I KNOW
THAT YOUR TUMOR
IS GROWING
545
00:21:14,006 --> 00:21:15,806
AND THAT
YOU ARE SCARED,
546
00:21:15,842 --> 00:21:18,852
BUT I'M GONNA
TAKE CARE OF YOU.
547
00:21:20,046 --> 00:21:21,446
BETTER?
548
00:21:21,481 --> 00:21:23,781
I'M SORRY. I
WAS DISTRACTED.
549
00:21:23,816 --> 00:21:25,076
I DIDN'T KNOW THAT
YOU WERE DONE.
RIGHT?
550
00:21:25,117 --> 00:21:26,447
UM, LET'S CUT.
41645
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