All language subtitles for Dog.With.A.Blog.S02E14_English

LISTEN, TYLER, I GOT A CALL
FROM YOUR TEACHER, MRS. BROCKMAN,

AND APPARENTLY, YOU ARE GETTING A "D"
IN YOUR ENGLISH CLASS.

YES, I'VE BEEN TRYING TO
GET ON THE D's LIST.

I THINK YOU MEAN DEAN'S LIST.
AND THAT'S FOR PEOPLE WHO GET A's.

I KNOW. I'M TALKING ABOUT
THE LIST I STARTED

FOR PEOPLE WHO FEEL LEFT OUT
BECAUSE THEY DON'T GET A's.

WHAT GOOD IS SCHOOL IF YOU CAN'T FEEL
GOOD ABOUT YOURSELF?

OKAY.

LOOK, MRS. BROCKMAN AND I DISCUSSED IT,

AND WE CAME UP WITH A WAY
FOR YOU TO BRING UP YOUR GRADE.

PLEASE DON'T SAY HOMEWORK.

I LIKE TO KEEP MY HOME LIFE
AND MY WORK LIFE SEPARATE.

CAN'T YOU RESPECT THAT?

AFTER YEARS OF ACTING IN
THE SHAKESPEARE IN THE PARK FESTIVAL,

THEY ASKED ME TO DIRECT THE PLAY OTHELLO.

THEY COULDN'T GET ANYONE ELSE, COULD THEY?

NO, THEY COULD NOT.

THE POINT IS, MRS. BROCKMAN SAID

THAT IF YOU PERFORM IN MY PLAY,
SHE'LL BRING YOUR GRADE UP.

COME ON, TYLER, IT'LL BE GOOD FOR YA,
AND A CHANCE FOR US TO BOND.

YOU COULDN'T GET ANY GUYS
TO BE IN YOUR PLAY, COULD YOU?

NO, I COULD NOT.

AND IF YOU DON'T DO THIS,

I MAY BE FORCED TO PLAY
ALL THE MALE ROLES MYSELF.

HANG POSTERS ALL OVER YOUR SCHOOL
OF ME IN TIGHTS SAYING,

-"COME SEE TYLER'S DAD--"
-OKAY, I'LL DO IT.

-COULDN'T THINK OF A WAY OUT, COULD YOU?
-NO, I COULD NOT.

( theme music playing )

OKAY, I THINK THESE STREET RACING MOVIES

HAVE PRETTY MUCH
RUN OUT OF VEHICLES TO USE

WHEN THEY START DOING
HOT AIR BALLOON CHASES.

I DON'T KNOW. THAT LAST CRASH
WAS PRETTY EXCITING.

Both: NO!

BONK.

Stan: WHAT DOES AVERY SEE IN THIS GUY?

CHARMING, UNASSUMING PERSONALITY,

KIND EYES AND SMILE
THAT LIGHTS UP A ROOM.

BARF! BARF!

COME ON, STAN. EVERY TIME
WES AND I ARE TOGETHER,

YOU TRY TO WEDGE YOURSELF BETWEEN US.

Stan: WAIT! AH!
YOU'RE RIGHT. HE'S IN THE WAY.

LET'S DO WITH HIM WHAT WE DID WITH
LAST WEEK'S TRASH,

UP UNTIL THE POINT
WHERE I ATE LAST WEEK'S TRASH.

I'M NOT EATING HIM.

I CAN'T WAIT TILL WE GO TO

-SHAKESPEARE IN THE PARK TOGETHER.
-ME, TOO.

FINALLY SOMEONE SMART I CAN TALK ABOUT
THE PLAYS WITH AFTERWARD.

TOTALLY. BUT JUST SO YOU KNOW,

I LOVE SHAKESPEARE SO MUCH,
IT LEAVES ME SPEECHLESS,

SO YOU'LL BE DOING MOST OF THE TALKING.

I SHOULD BE GOING.

OH. PARTING IS SUCH SWEET SORROW.

I WAS TRYING TO THINK OF
A WAY TO SAY GOODBYE

AND YOU JUST NAILED IT.

OH, WAIT, THAT WAS SHAKESPEARE, RIGHT?

-OF COURSE.
-LOOK AT US.

TALKIN' ABOUT HIM ALREADY.

-SEE YA.
-SEE YA.

( sighs )

UGH! THAT DISPLAY BETWEEN
THE TWO OF YOU WAS DISGUSTING.

I JUST THREW UP A LITTLE IN MY MOUTH,

WHICH I ENJOYED, SO THANK YOU.

STAN, WHAT'S UP WITH YOU?
YOU'VE BEEN DOWN ON WES FOR WEEKS.

THERE'S JUST SOMETHING OFF ABOUT THAT GUY.

I CAN'T QUITE PUT MY FINGER ON IT.

THAT'S BECAUSE NOTHING IS OFF WITH HIM,
AND YOU DON'T HAVE ANY FINGERS.

DON'T I?

I'VE BEEN KEEPIN' THIS FOAM
FINGER CLOSE BY

FOR OVER A YEAR WAITING FOR THAT MOMENT.

TOTALLY WORTH IT.

AVERY'S SO CRAZY ABOUT THAT GUY,

BUT WES REALLY RUBS ME THE WRONG WAY.

LITERALLY. BELIEVE IT OR NOT,
THERE ARE INCORRECT WAYS TO PET DOGS.

( speaking )

THAT'S NOT PETTING. THAT'S JUST...

WHAT IS THAT?

WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?

I DID IT! I DID IT, MOMMY.

I MADE MY OWN BED EVERY DAY FOR A MONTH.

SO NOW I GET MY OWN ROCK STAR RABBIT
GAME ON YOUR TABLET

JUST LIKE YOU PROMISED.

I DON'T REMEMBER PROMISING THAT.

IF YOU MAKE YOUR BED
EVERY DAY FOR A MONTH,

YOU'LL GET YOUR OWN ROCK STAR RABBIT GAME

ON MY TABLET. I PROMISE.

THAT'S NOT MY VOICE.

"I WILL NOT DENY THAT THAT'S MY VOICE.
ELLEN JENNINGS."

YOU CAN'T KEEP TRACK OF ANYTHING.
HOW DID YOU HOLD ONTO THAT FOR A MONTH?

I TAPED IT TO MY PERSON.

-YOUR BODY?
-NO, MY PERSON.

AS SOON AS THIS BAR LOADS, YOU CAN PLAY.

YES! ROCK STAR RABBIT
AND I ARE GONNA COLLECT

SO MANY CARROTS.

LUCKY, YOU JUST DO WHAT YOU WANT.

I WISH I COULD JUST WORK ON MY NOVEL.
THAT'S RIGHT, I'M SECRETLY WRITING A NOVEL

ABOUT A WOMAN WHO'S
AN AVERAGE HOUSEWIFE BY DAY,

BUT A SECRET NOVELIST BY NIGHT.

HER NAME IS HELEN.

-PERHAPS I'VE SAID TOO MUCH.
-NO, DON'T STOP.

THANKS, HON, I LOVE YOUR ENTHUSIASM
FOR THE CONCEPT.

BUT I'M NOT GONNA HAVE TIME
TO WORK ON MY NOVEL

ONCE YOUR FATHER ASKS ME
TO HELP HIM WITH HIS PLAY.

HE ALWAYS ASKS ME, AND I ALWAYS SAY YES.

-YOU KNOW WHY?
-14 CARROTS!

HA, I WISH!

I HELP HIM BECAUSE I LOVE HIM.

I JUST HOPE THIS YEAR,
HE DECIDES HE DOESN'T NEED MY HELP.

I JUST HOPE THIS YEAR,
SHE DOESN'T INSIST ON HELPING.

THIS PLAY IS MY THING,
BUT SHE ALWAYS WANTS TO

GET IN ON THE ACTION,
AND THEN I GOTTA FIND

SOME BUSYWORK TO KEEP HER HAPPY.

-YOU KNOW WHAT SHE NEEDS?
-ANOTHER LIFE!

WELL, I WOULDN'T GO THAT FAR, CHLOE.

NO, I JUST HAVE TO
OFFER HER SOME SMALL TASK

AND HOPEFULLY, SHE'LL SAY NO.

SO... YOU WANNA FLUFF THE RUFFLES

ON THE COSTUMES FOR THE PLAY?

OF COURSE I DO. WHY WOULDN'T I?

THIS IS A CRAZY GAME.

-YEAH.
-YEAH.

HEY, STAN, WHAT'S GOING ON?

ACTUALLY, I NEED YOU TO SAY, "WHAT'S UP?"

I HAD THIS WHOLE THING
WORKED OUT WHERE YOU SAY,

"WHAT'S UP?" AND I SAY, "SOMETHING BIG."
SO GO AHEAD.

OKAY. FINE. WHAT'S UP?

NOTHIN' MUCH. AH, DANG IT.

ANYWAY, I JUST SPENT THE DAY
FOLLOWING WES AROUND.

DON'T WORRY, HE DIDN'T RECOGNIZE ME.

I WAS IN DISGUISE.

NOTHIN' TO SEE HERE, FOLKS.

JUST A DOG AT THE PARK LOOKIN'
FOR A LITTLE PICKUP GAME.

PLAYED SOME COLLEGE BALL,
CAME OFF THE BENCH.

DON'T WANNA INTIMIDATE ANYBODY.

IN RETROSPECT, THE B-BALL DUDS

MAY HAVE ATTRACTED
MORE ATTENTION THAN I WANTED.

OR MAYBE IT WAS THIS.

ALL DAY, AVERY, ALL DAY.

ANYHOO, I THINK YOU'LL FIND
EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO KNOW

IN HERE.

I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU SPIED ON WES.

WHAT WERE YOU THINKING, STAN?
THERE'S NOTHING EVEN INCRIMINATING

-ABOUT THESE PHOTOS.
-OH, YEAH?

WHAT ABOUT THAT ONE OF HIM
ORDERING A SANDWICH?

WHAT ABOUT IT?

HE MISPRONOUNCED MAYONNAISE.

YOU'LL HAVE TO TAKE MY WORD ON THAT.

YOU KNOW WHAT, STAN,
YOU'RE WASTING MY TIME.

WHEN ARE YOU GONNA REALIZE
THAT WES IS A REALLY GOOD GUY?

WAIT A MINUTE.
WHO'S THIS HE'S SITTING NEXT TO?

OH, JUST SOME ATTRACTIVE MYSTERY GIRL
HE WAS TALKING TO FOR A FEW HOURS.

NOW CHECK OUT THE NEXT ONE.

HE'S STEPPIN' ON A CRACK.

DOES HE NOT EVEN CARE
ABOUT HIS MOTHER'S BACK?

WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?
HE CAN'T BE WITH ANOTHER GIRL.

HE'S MY BOYFRIEND.
I'M GONNA GO TALK TO HIM.

GOOD. AND WHILE YOU'RE THERE,

PLEASE TELL HIM
THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS "MAYNNAISE."

IF YOU DON'T KNOW, JUST SAY MAYO, DUDE.

IF YOU ARE, LIKE,

SO FOND OVER HER INIQUITY,

GIVE HER PATENT TO OFFEND, FOR IF IT,

YOU KNOW, TOUCH NOT YOU,
IT COMES NEAR NOBODY, YO.

DON'T NORMALLY TAKE A BOW
IN THE MIDDLE OF THE SCENE

AMONG MANY OTHER UNIQUE CHOICES, YO.

YOU KNOW,
I KIND OF LIKE THIS ACTING THING.

I KNOW. ISN'T IT EXHILARATING,
CONNECTING ACROSS THE CENTURIES

WITH THE MIND OF A BRILLIANT AUTHOR?

NO, I JUST MEANT IT COMBINES

MY TWO BEST SKILLS,
LOOKING GOOD AND BEING OUTSIDE.

HEY, WES.

WHAT YOU BEEN UP TO ALL DAY?

JUST READING SOME SHAKESPEARE.

SO YOU'VE JUST BEEN SITTING HERE ALONE?

ALL ALONE. JUST ME AND MY BOY,
BILLY SHAKES.

OH, REALLY? THEN WHO'S THIS?

-HOW DID YOU GET THESE?
-NEVER MIND THAT.

WHO'S THIS HANDSY LITTLE STRUMPET?

OKAY, FINE.

SHE WAS TEACHING ME ABOUT SHAKESPEARE.

I WAS EMBARRASSED TO TELL YOU THAT
I DON'T KNOW AS MUCH ABOUT THIS AS YOU DO.

I DIDN'T WANT YOU TO THINK I WAS STUPID
WHEN WE SAW THE PLAYS TOGETHER.

LISTEN, I HAVE FAKE TUTORED

TO GET CLOSE TO A GUY I LIKE, DON'T ASK,

SO I KNOW HOW THESE THINGS GO.

WHY DID SHE HAVE HER HAND ON YOUR HEART?

SHE WAS JUST SHOWING ME
HOW THE IAMBIC PENTAMETER RHYMING SCHEME

MIMICS THE HEARTBEAT.

IT DOES DO THAT.

WAIT, THIS ALL MAKES SENSE NOW.

YOU WENT THROUGH ALL OF THIS TROUBLE
JUST TO IMPRESS ME?

AW, THAT IS SO ROMANTIC.

SHALL WE TALK ABOUT WHAT YOU LEARNED?

AVERY, YOU SPIED ON ME.

I DON'T THINK I CAN BE WITH SOMEONE
WHO DOESN'T TRUST ME.

STOP TELLING ME WHAT TO DO.
YOU'RE NOT THE BOSS OF ME.

STAN, WAKE UP.

OH! HEY, AVERY.

I WAS JUST HAVING THAT DREAM
WHERE YOU WERE THE BOSS OF ME,

AND I WAS TOTALLY COOL WITH IT.

DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT JUST HAPPENED
BETWEEN WES AND ME AT THE PARK?

YES, I WAS SORT OF THERE.

I DIDN'T WANNA MAKE
THE SAME MISTAKE AS LAST TIME,

SO THIS TIME, I WENT AS A GOLFER.

YOU COMPLETELY RUINED
THINGS WITH WES FOR ME.

I DON'T KNOW IF YOU'RE JEALOUS,
OR WHAT YOUR PROBLEM IS.

MY PROBLEM IS, IF I KEEP SPLITTING MY TIME
BETWEEN BASKETBALL AND GOLF,

I'LL NEVER GET GOOD AT EITHER ONE.

ROBERT, GRAB MY CLUBS.
WE'RE GOING TO THE DRIVING RANGE.

I'LL TELL YOU WHY I BOTHER PRACTICING.

BECAUSE SOMEDAY, I'M GONNA
HAVE A DRINK NAMED AFTER ME

THAT'S HALF LEMONADE, HALF TOILET WATER.

NOW COME ON!

SO, GETTING YOUR LINES DOWN?

YEP, I GOT 'EM ALL DOWN,

ON THE BACK OF THIS KID
WHO STANDS IN FRONT OF ME IN ACT TWO.

IS THAT WHY INSTEAD OF
GOING WHERE I DIRECTED YOU TO,

YOU JUST KEPT FOLLOWING HIM
AROUND THE STAGE?

THAT, AND HE SMELLS LIKE WAFFLES.

LOOK, TYLER, ACTING IS NOT JUST
ABOUT LEARNING THE LINES,

OR WRITING THEM DOWN ON PEOPLE.

IT'S ABOUT UNDERSTANDING
HOW THE CHARACTER THINKS AND FEELS.

YOUR CHARACTER, IAGO,
SUCCUMBS TO JEALOUSY.

OR, AS SHAKESPEARE CALLED IT,
THE GREEN-EYED MONSTER.

YOU SEE, HE USED WORDS
IN NEW AND INVENTIVE WAYS.

OH, I GET IT.

IT'S LIKE HOW I CALL TACOS
CRUNCHY MEAT BOATS.

YES, SON, YOU ARE THE SHAKESPEARE
OF YOUR GENERATION.

THE POINT HERE IS THAT
IAGO WAS JEALOUS OF OTHELLO

WHICH LED HIM DOWN A VERY DARK PATH.

Stan: HUH... AVERY SAID I WAS JEALOUS.

SEE, IT'S JEALOUSY THAT CAUSES PEOPLE
TO HURT THOSE THEY CARE ABOUT.

I CARE ABOUT AVERY, AND I HURT HER.

NAH, BUT I WOULD'VE KNOWN
IF I HAD DONE THAT.

BUT THEY OFTEN DON'T KNOW
THEY'VE DONE THAT.

( screams ) THAT'S ME!

I'M JEALOUS OF AVERY'S
RELATIONSHIP WITH WES.

I'VE GOTTA MAKE THINGS RIGHT.

PICK UP MY BALL, ROBERT.

I GUESS YOU WON'T BE
TEACHING ME LIFE LESSONS

USING GOLF AS A METAPHOR TODAY.

WOW, IT ALL MAKES SO MUCH MORE SENSE NOW.

IT'S NOT JUST A BUNCH OF WORDS
I'M READING OFF WAFFLE'S BACK.

YOU'RE REALLY TAKING THIS SERIOUSLY.
PROUD OF YOU, SON.

THANKS, DAD.

I DIDN'T KNOW WORKING WITH YOU
WOULD BE SO COOL.

I DON'T KNOW IF I CAN EXPRESS
HOW MUCH THAT MEANS TO ME.

WE BOTH KNOW YOU CAN,
SO LET'S GET IT OVER WITH.

GET IN HERE. HAH!

WELL, I GOT ALL THE RUFFLES FLUFFED
FOR YOUR FATHER'S PLAY.

JUMP THROUGH THE HOOP.

EXACTLY. YOU GET IT.

I NEED TO GET BACK TO MY SECRET NOVEL.

HELEN'S FOUND THE HIDDEN CHAMBER
INSIDE THE HEART OF THE PUBLIC LIBRARY.

AND SHE'S NOT ALONE.

LET'S HOPE YOUR FATHER
DOESN'T DUMP ANY MORE WORK ON ME.

I'M GONNA HAVE TO DUMP MORE WORK ON HER.

SHE FLUFFED ALL THE RUFFLES.

THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO KEEP HER BUSY
FOR THE REST OF THE WEEK.

NOW I'M GONNA HAVE TO FIND
SOMETHING ELSE FOR HER TO DO.

YOU CAN DO IT, ROCK STAR.

WELL, I DO WHAT I CAN TO MAKE HER HAPPY.

SO I FINISHED THE RUFFLE FLUFFING.

THANK YOU SO MUCH.

SO I DON'T SUPPOSE
YOU WANT SOMETHING ELSE TO DO.

SURE, IF YOU WANT.

PRINT THE PROGRAMS?

AGE THEM, ROLL THEM ALL INTO SCROLLS?

THAT'S THE PERFECT USE OF MY TIME.

UGH, TRAPPED IN A MAZE AND CAN'T GET OUT.

WHAT DO YOU WANT?

AVERY, I REALIZE THAT WES IS A GOOD GUY,

AND I WAS JUST JEALOUS.

I'M REALLY SORRY,
BUT I THINK I MAY HAVE FIXED IT.

HI, WES, IT'S AVERY'S COUSIN.

UH... IAGO.

YEAH, THAT'S MY NAME.

-IAGO?
-UH, IT'S GAELIC.

IT MEANS NOTHIN' WEIRD GOIN' ON HERE.

SO ANYHOO,

I'M CALLING TO TELL YOU AVERY HAD
NOTHING TO DO WITH THOSE PHOTOS.

I TOOK THEM BECAUSE
I'M VERY PROTECTIVE OF HER.

AND JUST SO THERE'S NO HARD FEELINGS,

I CAN CUT YOU A DEAL
ON A COUPLE OF 8X10's,

SOME WALLET-SIZED, MAYBE A BUTTON.

THE HOLIDAYS ARE COMING UP.

DID HE BELIEVE YOU?

AT FIRST, YES.

AND THEN YOU KEPT TALKING.

AVERY, PLEASE, I'M TELLING THIS STORY.

SO ANYWAY, THEN I KEPT TALKING.

SO I'LL TAKE THREE BUTTONS,

THE 8X10, AND A PICTURE OF ME ON THE COVER
OF SPORTS HERO MAGAZINE.

THAT'S ONE OF MY BIGGEST SELLERS.

SO I'LL GET ALL THOSE TO YOU
NEXT TIME YOU'RE OVER HERE.

OVER WHERE?

YOU KNOW, AT AVERY'S.

YOU'RE STAYING AT AVERY'S?

I'M OVER THERE ALL THE TIME,
AND SHE NEVER MENTIONED YOU.

WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?

SO YOU MADE HIM SUSPICIOUS?

DON'T WORRY. I INVITED HIM OVER

SO WE CAN TALK IT OUT IN PERSON.

-STAN, WHY WOULD YOU--
-SHH.

TRUST YOUR DOG.

SO WHEN I COME OVER, I CAN'T SEE YOU

'CAUSE YOU'RE GONNA BE IN A FULL-BODY CAST
FROM A HOT AIR BALLOON CHASE

JUST LIKE THE ONE AVERY AND I
RECENTLY SAW IN A MOVIE.

YES. THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT I JUST SAID.

FULL-BODY CAST FROM HEAD TO TAIL... TOE.

TOE TO TAIL. HEAD TO TAIL.
WHOA, HOW'D IT GET BACK THERE?

FOR SOME REASON, THAT LAST THING
MADE HIM EVEN MORE SUSPICIOUS.

BUT DON'T WORRY.

WE'LL CLEAR IT ALL UP
WHEN HE'S OVER HERE TONIGHT

TO SEE ME IN MY FULL-BODY CAST.

WHAT? WHY WOULD YOU
INVITE HIM TO COME OVER TONIGHT?

WELL, I COULDN'T HAVE HIM COME OVER NOW.

I'M NOT IN A FULL-BODY CAST YET.

USE YOUR HEAD, AVERY.

-STAN, I--
-SHH.

WELL, THAT'S 300 SCROLLS.

THEY'LL BE LUCKY IF 60 PEOPLE SHOW UP,

-BUT IT'S FINE, IT'S FINE.
-UP, DOWN, UP, DOWN.

YOU'RE RIGHT, I'M LIKE
A PUPPET ON A STRING.

DANCE, PINOCCHIO, DANCE.

LEFT, RIGHT, LEFT, RIGHT, LEFT, RIGHT.

ALL RIGHT, CHLOE, YOU MADE YOUR POINT.
NO NEED TO BELABOR IT.

I'M JUST GONNA TELL YOUR FATHER
THAT I CAN'T HELP HIM ANYMORE.

I NEED TO GET BACK TO MY NOVEL.

WHEN WE LAST LEFT HELEN, SHE WAS ENCAGED

IN THE ZOO AFTER HAVING BEEN
MISTAKEN FOR A PANDA

AND I NEED TO REWRITE THAT,
BECAUSE IT'S INCREDIBLY STUPID.

UGH!

I CAN'T BELIEVE
YOUR MOTHER FINISHED ALL THESE.

AND THIS HAS GOTTA BE LIKE, 300.

WE'LL BE LUCKY IF 60 PEOPLE SHOW UP.

IF ANOTHER MUSICAL NOTE
DROPS FROM THE SKY,

THE DRAWBRIDGE WILL OPEN.

YOU'RE RIGHT, CHLOE. I SHOULD JUST
TELL HER I DON'T NEED HER HELP.

-I CAN'T HELP YOU ANYMORE.
-I DON'T NEED YOUR HELP ANYMORE.

Both: YOU REALLY GET ME.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH.

EW, GROSS!

CHLOE, THAT'S NOT
A VERY NICE THING TO SAY.

OH, I THINK SHE'S TALKING TO THE GAME.

NO. NO, I AM NOT.

ALL RIGHT, WHEN WES COMES TO MEET IAGO--

-HEY, THAT'S THE NAME OF MY CHARACTER--
-NOT IMPORTANT.

WE'LL NEED A FULL-BODY CAST
LAYING ON THE BED

WHILE STAN TALKS FROM UNDER THE BED.

SO TO MAKE THE PLASTER CAST,
I JUST NEED TO USE YOUR BODY AS A MOLD.

ONLY IF I CAN FILL IT
WITH GRAPE JUICE AFTER,

AND PUT IT IN THE FREEZER
TO MAKE A LIFE-SIZED TYLER POP.

YEAH, THAT'LL WORK.

OH, AND I HAVE TO BE
AT THE PLAY IN THE PARK TONIGHT,

OR I'LL LET DAD DOWN.

NOT A PROBLEM. I'LL CUT YOU OUT
IN PLENTY OF TIME TO MAKE IT TO THE PLAY.

AND DO I STILL GET
THE LIFE-SIZED TYLER POP?

WELL, THIS WHOLE PLAN
IS BUILT ON A FOUNDATION OF LIES,

SO SURE, WHY NOT?

SWEET.

WHAT'S TAKING SO LONG?
THE PLAY'S GONNA START SOON.

I THOUGHT THESE CLIPPERS
WOULD BE STRONG ENOUGH TO CUT IT.

AVERY, IF YOU DON'T GET ME
OUTTA HERE RIGHT NOW,

I'LL NEVER FORGIVE YOU.

TYLER, YOU LET A 14-YEAR-OLD GIRL
PUT YOU IN A FULL-BODY CAST.

SHOULDN'T YOU REALLY BE
MORE MAD AT YOURSELF?

WELL, I GOT ALL WES' PICTURES.

HE WENT FOR THE BACK-TO-SCHOOL PACKAGE,

BUT I'M ONLY CHARGING HIM
FOR THE VALUE PACK.

SEE, THAT'S HOW YOU BUILD REPEAT BUSINESS.

-( phone rings )
-Tyler : OH, AVERY, THAT'S MY PHONE.

IT'S PROBABLY DAD CALLING.
WILL YOU ANSWER IT?

I COULD, BUT I'M KIND OF
IN THE MIDDLE OF SOMETHING.

-BIGGER FISH.
-SHARKS, TUNA, GROUPER.

WHY WOULD YOU ASK ME THAT? DON'T WE HAVE
MORE IMPORTANT THINGS TO DEAL WITH?

OH, COOL, ARE YOU MAKING TYLER POPS?

-I HEARD THIS MIGHT BE HAPPENING.
-( ringing continues )

Tyler: GET ME OUT OF THIS STUPID CAST.
AND SOMEONE PLEASE ANSWER MY PHONE.

YOU'VE GOT CHLOE.
THAT'S HOW THEY TALK ON TV.

CHLOE, WHERE'S TYLER?

HE'S ONE OF THE MOST
IMPORTANT PEOPLE IN THE CAST.

I THINK HE'S THE ONLY PERSON IN THE CAST.

WELL, HE MAY FEEL THAT WAY.
I NEED TO TALK TO HIM.

HE CAN'T, HE'S TRYING TO
GET OUT OF THE CAST.

CHLOE, HE'S PROBABLY JUST NERVOUS.
TELL TYLER HE'LL DO FINE IN THIS CAST,

AND EVEN BETTER IN THE NEXT ONE.

TYLER, DADDY SAYS WHEN YOU
GET OUT OF THIS CAST,

HE'S GONNA PUT YOU IN ANOTHER ONE.

OH, MAN, HE'S REALLY MAD AT ME
FOR NOT BEING THERE.

TELL HIM IT'S NOT MY FAULT.

HE SHOULD BLAME THE PERSON
WHO PUT ME IN THIS CAST.

HE SAID YOU SHOULD BLAME
THE PERSON WHO PUT HIM IN THE CAST.

I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE GOOD FOR HIM.

WELL, I GUESS I SEE HOW IT WOULD
KEEP HIM OUT OF TROUBLE.

JUST TELL HIM I'M SORRY.
I REALLY THOUGHT HE HAD THE ACTING ITCH.

DADDY'S SORRY YOU HAD THE ITCH.

I DIDN'T HAVE AN ITCH BEFORE YOU SAID IT,

BUT NOW IT'S ALL I CAN THINK ABOUT.

UGH, SO ITCHY.

YOUR ATTENTION, PLEASE.
TYLER IS NOT COMING.

I WILL BE PLAYING IAGO.

WAFFLES, I NEED YOU TO STAY CLOSE TO ME
SO THAT I CAN READ MY LINES OFF YOUR BACK.

-( doorbell rings )
-OH, MY GOSH, WES IS HERE.

YOU HAVE TO STAY
IN THE CAST UNTIL HE LEAVES.

I'M NOT PLAYING ALONG.
I'LL MAKE NOISE, I'LL SAY THINGS,

I'LL TELL HIM I'M NOT REALLY IAGO.

IF YOU BLOW THIS FOR ME,
TYLER POPS WILL NEVER BE FULLY REALIZED.

THEY'LL REMAIN A BEAUTIFUL, LIFE-SIZED,

ICE-COLD PURPLE APPARITION
THAT TAUNTS YOU FROM AFAR.

CURSE ME FOR DARING TO DREAM BIG.

WES, THIS IS MY COUSIN IAGO.

WOW, GUESS YOU WEREN'T
LYING ABOUT THE BODY CAST.

Stan: OF COURSE I WASN'T LYING.

WHO WOULD LIE ABOUT BEING IN A BODY CAST,

OR BEING A PHOTOGRAPHER, OR BEING HUMAN?

NOT THIS GUY.

OKAY, SO HOW DID THIS REALLY HAPPEN,

'CAUSE I KNOW IT WASN'T
IN A HOT AIR BALLOON CHASE.

NO, OF COURSE NOT.

HE JUST TELLS PEOPLE THAT BECAUSE
WHAT REALLY HAPPENED WAS TOO EMBARRASSING.

Stan: YOU KNOW HOW PEOPLE SLIP ON
BANANA PEELS IN CARTOONS?

THAT IS WHAT HE DID.

Stan: I WAS WATCHING
ONE OF THOSE CARTOONS,

AND I LAUGHED SO HARD, I FELL OFF MY ROOF.

WELL, THERE YOU HAVE IT.

Stan: YOU'RE PROBABLY WONDERING
WHY I WAS WATCHING CARTOONS

-ON THE ROOF.
-NOBODY'S WONDERING THAT.

Stan: IT'S THE ONLY WAY
I CAN SEE MY NEIGHBOR'S TV.

AND THAT EXPLAINS EVERYTHING.

Stan: YOU SEE, MY TV BROKE
IN A HOT AIR BALLOON CHASE.

REALLY?

OKAY, AVERY, I THINK
I SEE WHAT'S GOING ON HERE.

-YOU DO?
-YOUR COUSIN IS A LOON.

Stan: NO, I'M NOT. A LOON
IS A CANADIAN BIRD. I'M AN AMERICAN HUMAN.

-Tyler: OW!
-SORRY.

Stan: OW!

I THINK I JUST HAVE TO ACCEPT
IF I'M GONNA BE WITH YOU,

THAT CRAZY THINGS ARE GONNA HAPPEN.

WOULD YOU? THAT WOULD
MAKE THINGS SO MUCH EASIER.

SO I'LL MEET YOU AT THE PARK
LATER FOR THE PLAY.

Stan: AH, DON'T FORGET YOUR PICTURES.

TELL YOUR FRIENDS.
YOUR FACE ON A THROW PILLOW.

PERFECT GIFT FOR GRANDMA.

I'LL SEE YOU AT THE PARK.
AND I'LL TAKE TWO PILLOWS.

I'VE GOT TWO GRANDMAS.

I'M REALLY SORRY ABOUT EVERYTHING, AVERY.

I DON'T KNOW HOW I LET MY JEALOUSY
GET THE BEST OF ME.

DON'T WORRY, STAN.

NO BOY IS EVER GONNA REPLACE YOU.

YEAH, THAT'S REAL NICE,

BUT I'VE GOT BIGGER PROBLEMS RIGHT NOW.

I HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO PUT
PHOTOS ON PILLOWS

AND TWO MEMAS ARE COUNTING ON ME.

Tyler: YOU'VE GOT PROBLEMS?
THE PLAY IS GONNA START ANY MINUTE.

I HAVE TO GET OUT OF HERE.

TYLER, WAIT. WE'LL GET
DAD'S TOOLS FROM THE GARAGE.

THAT'LL WORK, TOO.

Stan: WHEN YOU CARE ABOUT SOMEONE,
YOU HAVE TO TRUST THAT PERSON.

AND IF IT'S SOMEONE LIKE AVERY,
OR IN BENNETT'S CASE, TYLER,

THEY'LL COME THROUGH FOR YOU.

YEP, TYLER MADE IT TO THE PLAY IN TIME.
AND BENNETT WON RAVE REVIEWS

FOR HIS RADICAL REIMAGINING OF IAGO

AS A GHOST.

TYLER EVEN GOT HIS TYLER POP.

ALTHOUGH SOMEONE ATE THE HEAD.

AND CHLOE REALLY CAME THROUGH FOR ELLEN
WHEN SHE NEEDED HELP WITH HER NOVEL.

HELEN IS STUCK ON
A SNOW-COVERED ISLAND IN FINLAND,

TRYING TO UNCOVER A 50-YEAR-OLD MYSTERY.
BUT WHAT DOES SHE FIND?

-A UNICORN!
-PERFECT!

( music playing )

( boing )