All language subtitles for Dog.With.A.Blog.S02E08_English

( theme music playing )

READY TO GO, STAN?

UH, JUST A SECOND.

GOTTA GO MAKE SURE THAT SQUIRREL I BURIED
IS STILL BURIED.

SOMETIMES THEY COME BACK.

THEN IT'S PROBABLY NOT DEAD.

THAT OCCURRED TO ME, TOO.

( gasps )

HOLD UP A MINUTE. WES IS HERE.

-WHO?
-WES.

THE BOY FROM SCHOOL I LIKE.

I FELT LIKE WE KIND OF CONNECTED
ON HALLOWEEN,

WHEN I WAS DRENCHED IN FAKE BLOOD,

BUT WE'VE BARELY SPOKEN SINCE THEN.

DOES HE ONLY LIKE ME
WHEN I'M DRENCHED IN FAKE BLOOD?

'CAUSE I'M WILLING
TO MAKE THAT A REGULAR THING.

I KNEW THIS DAY WOULD COME-- WEDNESDAY,

THE DAY YOU'RE MORE INTERESTED IN BOYS
THAN YOUR TALKING DOG.

-IT'S THURSDAY.
-I DID NOT SEE THAT COMING.

BUT IT'S OKAY. I'M GONNA
STAY RELEVANT IN YOUR LIFE.

I CAN HELP WITH BOYS.
WHAT KIND OF HELP DO YOU NEED?

WELL, I'M STILL TRYING TO FIGURE OUT
HOW TO TALK TO HIM.

GREAT. LET'S DO A LITTLE ROLE-PLAYING.

YOU BE YOU AND I'LL BE THE BOY.

( as teenage boy ) HEY, AVERY, S'UP?

YOU WANT TO GO TO THE LAKE WITH ME?

WE'LL COUNT THE STARS AND MAKE PROMISES.

STAN, I DON'T WANT TO DO THIS.

( as teenage boy ) WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM?

YOU'RE SO STUCK UP. I'M OUTTA HERE.

( normal voice ) WELL, YOU BLEW IT
WITH THAT GUY.

LOOK, IF YOU WANT TO HELP,
WHY DON'T YOU GO OVER THERE

AND SEE WHAT WES IS SAYING TO HIS FRIENDS.

OKAY.

( as teenage boy ) I CAN'T BELIEVE
I PUT ON DEODORANT FOR NOTHING.

YOU'RE SO WEIRD.

SO, WHAT DID YOU FIND OUT ABOUT WES?

I FOUND OUT THAT I HAVE
NO IDEA WHO WES IS.

CAN YOU TELL ME WHAT HIS FEET SMELL LIKE,

AND USE DESCRIPTIVE WORDS.

ARE THEY AUSTERE WITH A BALONEY FINISH,
FOR INSTANCE?

THAT'S YOU.

OKAY, HERE'S THE DEAL: YOU ARE CORRECT.

-THAT IS WES.
-I ALREADY KNEW THAT.

I HAD MY DOUBTS. I GET SUCH A STRONG
ELI VIBE FROM HIM.

SO WHAT'D YOU FIND OUT?

NOTHING. THE WHOLE TIME
HE WAS JUST BABBLING ON

ABOUT HOW HE NEEDED A TUTOR
IN ONE OF HIS CLASSES.

DOES THAT SOUND LIKE AN ELI OR WHAT?

STAN, THAT'S IT! THAT'S MY IN!
HE NEEDS A TUTOR.

( as teenage boy )
WHAT'S SO GREAT ABOUT HIM?

HE DOESN'T EVEN HAVE A CAR.

THERE'S NOTHING TO DO
IN THIS WHOLE STUPID TOWN ANYWAY.

AVERY JENNINGS TUTORING.
IF YOU DON'T KNOW IT, I DO.

AVERY JENNINGS TUTORING.
IF YOU DO KNOW IT, I KNOW MORE.

DO YOU NEED A TUTOR OR WHAT?

HEY, AVERY. HOW DID YOU KNOW?

OH, I DIDN'T. I'M ASKING EVERYBODY.

I NEED CLIENTS
FOR MY NEW TUTORING BUSINESS.

NOPE, GO AWAY.

WELL, I COULD USE SOME HELP IN SPANISH.

THERE'S A TEST ON FRIDAY
AND I'M REALLY STRUGGLING.

DO YOU SPEAK SPANISH?

Stan: THAT IS THE FACE OF SOMEONE
WHO DOES NOT SPEAK SPANISH.

OF COURSE I SPEAK SPANISH.

EVERYONE SHOULD SPEAK SPANISH

IN THIS INCREASINGLY GLOBALIZED ECONOMY.

I'LL SEE YOU TOMORROW AT MY CASA.

PLENTY MORE WHERE THAT CAME FROM.

AVERY IS PRETTY CRAZY ABOUT THAT BOY,

AND IT'S EVEN LED TO HER FIRST PANIC LIE.

AH, I REMEMBER MINE:

All: OHHHHH!

EW! TYLER!

( theme music playing )

SO THERE WAS THIS ONE TIME PEOPLE SAID
I COULDN'T DO A TRIPLE FLIP ON MY BIKE.

I SHOWED THEM-- I LANDED ON THOSE PEOPLE.

THAT'S WHERE I GOT THIS SCAR.

I GOT ONE OF THOSE THE TIME I RAMPED OFF
THE RIDGE OF PAIN.

BEFORE THAT, IT WAS JUST "THE RIDGE OF."

HEY, THAT'S WHERE I MESSED UP MY KNEE.

NOW WHEN I BEND IT, IT POPS.

( laughing ) SWEET.

WHEN I DO THIS, MY SHOULDER LOCKS.

HEY-- I POP, YOU LOCK.

LET'S POP AND LOCK.

OOH, WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR NECK?

DON'T KNOW. DID THAT JUST NOW.

I ONCE BANGED MY THROAT,
AND NOW WHEN I GURGLE WATER,

IT SOUNDS LIKE A GARBAGE DISPOSAL.

( doorbell rings )

-HEY, NIKKI.
-HEY.

WHAT'S UP?

I WANTED TO SEE IF YOU
FELT LIKE GOING TO THE MOVIE

THAT'S PLAYING IN THE PARK THIS WEEKEND.

OH... I CAN'T.

I'M GOING WITH MY GIRLFRIEND.

YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?

OH, YEAH, SHE'S REALLY COOL.

I CAN'T WAIT FOR YOU TO MEET HER.

( gargling )

WOW.

TOLD YOU SHE WAS COOL.

THERE SHE IS,

OUR LITTLE GIRL HOME FROM SCHOOL.

SO, CHLOE, WHAT DID YOU LEARN TODAY?

LET'S SEE. I LEARNED THAT THE SUN
WILL SOMEDAY BURN OUT

AND ALL LIFE ON EARTH WILL CEASE TO EXIST,

AND THAT SEVEN TIMES SEVEN IS...

OKAY, I DIDN'T LEARN THAT.

WHY BOTHER, WITH THAT
WHOLE SUN THING HAPPENING?

OH, AND I'M NOT CHLOE ANYMORE.

CHLOE-- AHEM--

WE HAVE BEEN THROUGH THIS BEFORE.

YOU ARE NOT A PRINCESS
SEPARATED FROM HER PEOPLE

AND FORCED TO LIVE AMONG THE COMMON FOLK.

YES, I KNOW, I JUST FEEL THAT WAY.

I'M TALKING ABOUT MY NAME.

I DON'T WANT TO BE CALLED CHLOE ANYMORE.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN? ARE THE OTHER KIDS
MAKING FUN OF YOUR NAME?

-ARE THEY CALLING YOU "GLOWY"?
-NO.

"SO-SO-IE"? "NO GROWY"? "CAN'T THROWY"?
"WEIRD TOE-IE?"

NO, THAT'S SO MEAN.
WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT?

AND WHAT'S WRONG WITH MY "TOE-IE"?

SWEETHEART, YOUR MOMMY WASN'T BEING MEAN.

SHE'S JUST WORRIED THE OTHER KIDS WERE,

AND WAS POINTING OUT HOW THAT COULD WORK,

IN A WAY THAT WAS OVERLY SPECIFIC

AND NOT WELL THOUGHT-THROUGH.

WELL, I'M SORRY. I'M JUST A LITTLE
CONCERNED ABOUT THAT,

AFTER BEING CALLED "SMELLIN'"
IN KINDERGARTEN...

THROUGH COLLEGE, AND THEN AGAIN LAST YEAR.

NO ONE'S BEING MEAN...

AT SCHOOL.

I JUST WANT A NEW NAME.

AND A POOL WITH A SLIDE!

THINK ABOUT IT!

WHAT'S UP WITH HER?

WELL, I THINK IT'S FAIRLY OBVIOUS
THAT CHLOE'S DESIRE

TO CHANGE HER NAME
STEMS FROM AN INNATE NEED

TO ASSERT HER INDEPENDENCE
AND ESTABLISH HER IDENTITY.

IT'S BEST IF WE JUST LET IT PLAY OUT.

YOU NEVER JUST SAY "I DON'T KNOW."
WEIRD, HUH?

JUST LIKE YOU NEVER SAY
"VERY TRENCHANT ANALYSIS, BENNETT.

YOUR INSIGHT MAKES ME
LOVE YOU ALL THE MORE."

WEIRD, HUH?

SO, SPEAK SPANISH YET?

NO. I'VE BEEN WATCHING
THIS SPANISH SOAP OPERA,

LACE AND TEARS.

I HAVEN'T LEARNED ANY SPANISH,

ALTHOUGH I DID LEARN
THE EXPRESSION YOU MAKE

WHEN YOUR THIRD HUSBAND
TELLS YOU HE'S REALLY

YOUR FIRST HUSBAND
IN A DIFFERENT TURTLENECK.

SO, HOW ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO TUTOR WES

IF YOU DON'T KNOW THE LANGUAGE.

THAT IS NIKKI.

SHE'S COMING OVER
TO GIVE ME A CRASH COURSE.

MILLIONS OF PEOPLE SPEAK SPANISH.
I MEAN, HOW HARD COULD IT BE?

BILLIONS OF PEOPLE SPEAK CHINESE.

WHY DON'T YOU GIVE THAT A SHOT?

HEY, NIKKI, DID YOU GET MY TEXT ABOUT
NEEDING TO LEARN SPANISH BY TOMORROW?

YES, BUT I DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO TEXT BACK

"YOU ARE OUT OF YOUR MIND"
IN A SUPPORTIVE TONE,

SO I CAME TO SAY IT IN PERSON.

"YOU ARE OUT OF YOUR MIND."

WELL, WE HAVE TO TRY.

AND IT'S NOT LIKE
WE'RE STARTING FROM SCRATCH.

I ALREADY KNOW SI, NO, ADIOS, AND...

( dramatic gasp )

YOUR THIRD HUSBAND
IS REALLY YOUR FIRST HUSBAND

IN A DIFFERENT TURTLENECK?

OH, YOU WATCH LACE AND TEARS! WAIT.

WHAT IF WE DID WHAT LUPE DID

IN THE FAMOUS EPISODE
WHERE JUAN GETS IMPALED

CALLED "A HOLE IN JUAN."

JUAN GETS IMPALED? WHILE HE'S IN THE COMA?

OH, YOU'RE NOT CAUGHT UP.

YES, HE COMA-WALKED
RIGHT INTO A BULLFIGHT.

ANYWAY, IN THAT EPISODE,
LUPE TALKS TO HECTOR THROUGH AN EARPIECE

TO HELP HIM ROMANCE, WELL, WHAT TURNS OUT
TO BE HIS SISTER'S FORMER CELLMATE,

BUT HE DOESN'T KNOW THIS.

RAMONA GOES TO PRISON?

RAMONA WAS FRAMED BY HER
OTHER PERSONALITY, RAMON.

I AM A WALKING SPOILER ALERT.

NO.

YOU'RE A WALKING GENIUS.

I'LL WEAR AN EARPIECE
AND YOU LISTEN IN AND GIVE ME

THE SPANISH ANSWERS
SO THAT I CAN TUTOR WES.

SO NIKKI'S GONNA HELP YOU
WITH THE TUTORING PART,

BUT I THOUGHT THAT WAS JUST
AN EXCUSE TO GET HIM OVER HERE

SO YOU CAN CONNECT WITH HIM.

HOW ARE YOU GONNA DO THAT PART?

AND DON'T SAY "FAKE BLOOD."

HE'S RIGHT. I TOTALLY
FORGOT ABOUT THAT PART.

I DON'T SPEAK THE LANGUAGE
OF SPANISH OR OF LOVE!

NONE OF THE ROMANCE LANGUAGES!

OH, I CAN'T HELP YOU WITH THAT.

I DON'T HAVE TO SAY ANYTHING TO BOYS.

THEY'RE JUST NATURALLY DRAWN TO ME.

LIKE BOYS TO NIKKI. THAT'S AN EXPRESSION
IN MY COUNTRY.

I'LL HELP YOU OUT, AVERY.

YOU KNOW, WHEN IT COMES TO FLIRTING,

I HAPPEN TO HAVE SOME PRETTY GOOD MOVES.

OH, ARE THOSE THE MOVES YOU USED
ON THE GIRL WHO SPITS INTO PLANTS?

HER NAME IS EMILY.

HER NAME COULD BE "GLENDORA,
QUEEN OF THE FAIRY PEOPLE,"

BUT SHE STILL SPITS INTO PLANTS,

AND THAT'S THE PART THAT STICKS WITH YOU.

ENOUGH ABOUT PLANT-SPITTER.

SORRY, TYLER, IT DOES STICK WITH YOU.

YOU GUYS ARE GOING TO HAVE TO SUCK IT UP

AND WORK TOGETHER TOMORROW

SO EVERYTHING GOES PERFECTLY WITH WES.

YOUR DOG WATCHES LACE AND TEARS?

OF COURSE HE DOESN'T, HE'S A DOG.

HE JUST TURNED IT ON ACCIDENTALLY.

HA! LIKE HECTOR WAS
ACCIDENTALLY ELECTROCUTED

BY THAT EEL IN HIS TOILET!

WHY DIDN'T HE FLUSH?

EVEN WITHOUT THE EEL,
IT'S ALWAYS A GOOD IDEA!

MOMMY, DADDY,

I PICKED OUT SOME NEW NAMES
TO REPLACE CHLOE.

-TELL ME WHAT YOU LIKE.
-OKAY.

ALEJANDRA VELASQUEZ MARGARITA.

I ALSO LIKE

ANASTASIA KOLIKOVA IVANOVICHNAYA!

AND...

GAIL.

WE LIKE CHLOE.

YOU'VE GOT TO LET THAT GO.

LISTEN, CHLOE, IF THIS IS ABOUT

YOU WANTING TO ESTABLISH
YOUR OWN IDENTITY,

YOU DON'T HAVE TO CHANGE
YOUR NAME TO DO THAT.

YOU CAN DRESS DIFFERENTLY,

OR CHANGE YOUR HAIRSTYLE,

OR DEVELOP A SPEECH AFFECTATION.

"HELLO, MY NAME IS CHLOE."

BENNETT, HER CLOTHES ARE FINE,
SHE HAS ENOUGH ACCENTS.

AND THE HAIR IS WHAT IT IS.

YOU CAN TELL US IF THERE'S A PROBLEM.

WE'RE HERE FOR YOU, CHLOE.

-I'M NOT CHLOE!
-SORRY, GAIL!

SHE'S REALLY UPSET ABOUT THIS.

I BETTER CALL HER TEACHER
AND SEE IF SHE KNOWS ANYTHING.

( affected voice ) BUT WHEN I TALK TO HER,
I'M GOING TO TALK LIKE THIS.

( affected voice ) THIS IS KIND OF FUN.

IT IS, ISN'T IT? WE SHOULD VACATION MORE.

OH, LOOK, THE ROTHSCHILDS!

WE SHOULD PLAY DOUBLES SOMETIME!

HI, COME--

( awkward silence )

I FORGOT MY BACKPACK.

( affected voice )
WELL, THAT WAS EMBARRASSING.

( affected voice ) YES! YES, IT WAS!

THANKS AGAIN FOR HELPING ME OUT WITH THIS.

I'M KIND OF EMBARRASSED.

I'M USUALLY PRETTY GOOD AT SCHOOL.

OH, NO PROBLEM.

OR SHOULD I SAY "NO PROBLEMO."

SHOULD I? SHOULD I SAY "NO PROBLEMO"?

THAT'S NOT REAL SPANISH.

I SHOULD NOT SAY "NO PROBLEMO."

IT'S NOT SPANISH.

ONCE WE ELIMINATE ALL THE WORDS THAT
ARE NOT SPANISH,

WE'LL BE LEFT WITH THE WORDS THAT ARE.

IT'S PART OF MY SYSTEM.

IF YOU GET INTO TROUBLE,
JUST SAY "SI. MUCHO."

IT MEANS "YES. VERY MUCH."

YOU THINK I'M GONNA GET IN TROUBLE?

SI. MUCHO.

YOU'RE NOT INSPIRING A LOT OF CONFIDENCE.

THAT'S WHY I NEED A TUTOR.

TYLER, STOP TEXTING YOUR PLANT-SPITTER.

AVERY ALMOST BLEW IT RIGHT OFF THE BAT.

HEY, I CAN HELP AVERY
AND TEXT THE PLANT-SPITTER.

OH, NO, I JUST SENT EMILY A TEXT THAT SAYS

"I CAN TEXT THE PLANT-SPITTER."

OH, THANK GOODNESS.
SHE TOOK IT AS A COMPLIMENT.

SO, WES, ARE YOU READY
TO BEGIN OUR LESSON?

TRY PLAYFULLY INSULTING HIM.

THE PLAYFULLY SHOWS YOU LIKE HIM,

AND THE INSULTING SHOWS NOT TOO MUCH.

OH, IS THAT WHAT YOU DID WITH EMILY?

YOU'RE SUCH A BABOON!

WHAT SHOULD I CALL HIM?

-A BABOON?
-YOU'RE A BABOON!

-THAT WASN'T FOR YOU.
-I TAKE IT BACK.

-AND I SAID PLAYFULLY!
-YOU'RE A BABOON!

TELL HIM IT'S A PART OF THE TUTORING.

TELL HIM YOU WANT HIM
TO SAY "YOU'RE A BABOON" IN SPANISH.

UH, THIS IS PART OF THE TUTORING.

I WANT YOU TO SAY "YOU'RE A BABOON"
IN SPANISH.

THAT COULD DEFINITELY BE ON THE TEST.

I'VE NEVER HAD A TUTOR BEFORE,

BUT THIS JUST SEEMS WRONG.

PERFECT. YOU'RE UNCOMFORTABLE,

WHICH MEANS YOU'RE ALERT,
WHICH MEANS YOU'RE LEARNING.

IF YOU START TO FEEL TOO COMFORTABLE,
I'M GONNA HAVE TO STARTLE YOU.

BOO!

WELL, NEXT TIME YOU WON'T SEE IT COMING.

BOO!

IF THIS IS HOW YOU ARE WITH GIRLS,
I'M GLAD I'M NOT YOUR GIRLFRIEND.

WHAT ARE YOU EVEN TALKING ABOUT?

YOU NEVER EVEN WANTED TO BE MY GIRLFRIEND.

SO WHAT IS SPANISH FOR "BABOON"?

SPANISH FOR "BABOON" IS...

I JUST FEEL SORRY FOR YOUR GIRLFRIEND,
THAT'S ALL.

YOU JUST PLAY GAMES AND MANIPULATE PEOPLE.

FIRST, LET'S DISCUSS
THE FIVE SPECIES OF BABOON.

THERE'S THE YELLOW BABOON...

IT'S NOT LIKE THAT WITH EMILY.

SHE'S DIFFERENT FROM OTHER GIRLS.

SHE'S REALLY COOL

AND SMART AND FUNNY...

...AND THE CHACMA BABOON.

LOOK, I ALREADY KNOW ALL ABOUT BABOONS.

YOU DO?

OF COURSE YOU DO.

OH, SO EMILY IS THE FIRST "REALLY COOL"
GIRL YOU'VE EVER MET?

WHY DO YOU EVEN CARE?

IF I DIDN'T KNOW BETTER,
I'D SAY YOU'RE JEALOUS.

-HA!
-NOT SO LOUD!

( whispering )
WHAT'S SPANISH FOR "BABOON"?

YOU'RE NOT UNCOMFORTABLE ENOUGH YET.

( whispering ) NO, I THINK I AM.

YOU KNOW WHAT?

I'VE HAD ENOUGH. I'M LEAVING.

YOU ARE "EL BABUINO."

WHAT'S THAT?

IT'S SPANISH FOR "BABOON."

FINALLY. EL BABUINO.

-IS THAT "BABOON"?
-OF COURSE.

WHY ELSE WOULD I HAVE SAID IT?

I'M NOT HERE TO WASTE YOUR TIME.

OH, AND BY THE WAY, NO ONE
REALLY LIKES YOUR HAIRCUT.

OKAY, THAT IS A LIE!

HELLO?

HELLO, HELLO?

¿HOLA? ¿HOLA, HOLA?

LOOK AT YOU, YOU'RE CATCHING ON.

HELLO? NIKKI, TYLER,

WHERE ARE YOU?

OH, LOOK. A MICROPHONE.

TYLER? NIKKI?

UH, THIS IS YOUR CAPTAIN SPEAKING.

WET SPILL ON AISLE 16.

( imitates echo ) FALSE START...
START... START...

NUMBER 82 OFFENSE... FENSE... FENSE...

STILL FIRST DOWN... DOWN... DOWN...

STAN?

OH, HEY, AVERY, WHAT'S GOING ON?

IS ELI STILL THERE?

IT'S WES. AND HE'S IN THE BATHROOM.

HA! CLASSIC ELI.

NIKKI AND TYLER HAD A FIGHT AND BAILED.

WHAT AM I GOING TO DO WHEN WES GETS BACK?

-WHO?
-ELI!

I WANT TO PLAY!

IT'S NOT A GAME. AVERY NEEDS HELP.

YOU DON'T HAPPEN TO KNOW SPANISH, DO YOU?

NO, BUT ALEJANDRA
VELASQUEZ MARGARITA DOES!

READY TO GET BACK TO WORK?

SI. MUCHO.

OH, THAT'S SPANISH? THAT'S THE LANGUAGE
OF MY FAVORITE SOAP OPERA.

LACE AND TEARS? I LOVE THAT SHOW.

"RICARDO, IT WAS YOU WHO PUT THE EEL
IN MY COMMODE!"

"NO, NO, NO!

SI, SI, SI!"

( dramatic gasp )

( dramatic gasp )

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

LEARNING THE LANGUAGE IS NOT ENOUGH.

YOU MUST ALSO IMMERSE YOURSELF
IN THE CULTURE.

NOW WE DANCE!

BOO!

I JUST SPOKE WITH CHLOE'S TEACHER.

SHE DOESN'T KNOW ANYTHING
ABOUT HER WANTING TO CHANGE HER NAME.

( affected voice ) AND SHE DOESN'T
APPRECIATE SILLY-VOICE COMEDY.

WELL, WHILE YOU WERE
TALKING TO HER TEACHER LIKE A GOOD PARENT

AND THEN ALSO LIKE A CRAZY PARENT,

I WAS BEING AN EFFECTIVE PARENT
BY RANSACKING HER ROOM.

BUT, ELLEN, THAT IS A VIOLATION
OF THE TRUST THAT WE HAVE

ESTABLISHED AS PARENTS -- WHAT'D YOU FIND?

A SMALL BOX PROPPED ON A STICK
NEXT TO HER PILLOW,

WHICH I'M ASSUMING WAS A TOOTH FAIRY TRAP

BECAUSE THE BAIT WAS A PILE OF TEETH.

AND THIS.

IT'S A CONTRACT IN CRAYON STATING THAT

CHLOE HAS GIVEN UP THE RIGHT TO HER NAME.

WELL, WHOEVER DREW THIS UP
KNEW WHAT THEY WERE DOING.

ALL THE T'S ARE CROSSED
AND ALL THE I'S ARE HEARTED.

SWEETIE, WE FOUND THIS IN YOUR ROOM.

OKAY. THERE ARE FOUR
OTHER CHLOES IN MY CLASS,

AND WE HAD A GAME OF TAG.

LOSER CHANGES HER NAME.

FOUR OTHER CHLOES?

TALL CHLOE, FAST CHLOE, STINKY CHLOE,
AND CHLOE TWO-SHOES.

WE ALL WEAR TWO SHOES, I DON'T GET THAT.

SO, UH, WHAT'S YOUR NICKNAME?

DISTRACTED CHLOE.

I FORGOT WE WERE PLAYING TAG
HALFWAY THROUGH AND--

CAN I HAVE A SANDWICH?

SWEETHEART, THIS CONTRACT ISN'T REAL.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO FOLLOW THIS.

I HAVE TO HONOR MY WORD. IT'S WHAT
YOU GUYS ALWAYS TAUGHT ME TO DO.

OH... BUT WE'VE TAUGHT YOU SO MANY
OTHER THINGS THAT YOU DIDN'T LEARN.

WHY DID THIS STICK?

I TOLD YOU MY NAME IS DISTRACTED CHLOE.

WHERE'S MY SANDWICH?

YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M GONNA GET MY NAME BACK.

I'M GLAD WE HAD THIS TALK.

KEEP THINKING ABOUT THAT POOL.

-THAT WAS SOME GOOD PARENTING.
-REALLY?

WELL, THEY SAY HALF OF PARENTING
IS JUST BEING THERE FOR YOUR KIDS.

Tyler: MOM! DAD!

COME LISTEN TO THIS
FUNKY SOUND MY NECK IS MAKING!

SHH.

THIS IS THE OTHER HALF.

THANKS AGAIN FOR ALL YOUR HELP.

SO, UH, HOW MUCH DO I OWE YOU?

OH, I DON'T THINK YOU COULD PUT A PRICE

ON WHAT I DID TO YOU-- FOR YOU-- TODAY.

BUT JUST TO BE SAFE,
YOU SHOULD PROBABLY GET

ANOTHER TUTOR BEFORE THE TEST.

AND NEXT TIME, ASK AROUND.
GET A RECOMMENDATION.

MAYBE NOT SOMEONE YOU MET IN A PARK.

LISTEN, THERE'S SOMETHING I WANTED TO ASK
YOU EVEN BEFORE I CAME HERE.

I WROTE DOWN HOW TO SAY IT IN SPANISH.

¿SERIA INAPROPIADO QUE LE PIDA A MI TUTOR
TENER UNA CITA?

UH... SI. MUCHO.

OKAY, WELL, I GUESS I'LL SEE YOU AROUND.

HEY, AVERY.

HEY.

I WANTED TO APOLOGIZE
FOR RUNNING OUT ON YOU EARLIER.

LET ME SHOW YOU WHAT YOU MISSED.

YOUR RANCH WAS TAKEN OVER BY BANDITOS?

WHAT?

OH, YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THAT EPISODE YET.

I'M JUST TRYING TO TRANSLATE
THIS NOTE WES READ ME.

IT SAYS: "WOULD IT BE INAPPROPRIATE FOR ME
TO ASK MY TUTOR OUT ON A DATE?"

THAT'S GREAT!

NO, IT'S NOT!

I SAID "SI. MUCHO."

I SAID "YES, IT WOULD BE INAPPROPRIATE."

ACTUALLY, YOU SAID
"YES, VERY INAPPROPRIATE."

THAT'S NOT BETTER, IS IT?

I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS.

HE FINALLY ASKED ME OUT
AND I TURNED HIM DOWN.

MAYBE YOU COULD TEXT HIM AND EXPLAIN.

EXPLAIN WHAT? HOW I LIED
ABOUT KNOWING SPANISH?

THIS WHOLE THING IS JUST TOO EMBARRASSING.

I TOTALLY BLEW IT WITH WES. AGAIN.

OH, STAN.

WOW. TODAY'S BEEN A BAD DAY FOR ME, TOO.

I THINK I'M JEALOUS OF TYLER'S GIRLFRIEND.

NOW THAT AVERY'S INTO BOYS,

IT'S GONNA BE A LOT
LIKE A SPANISH SOAP OPERA AROUND HERE.

THERE'S GONNA BE A HEARTBREAK
EVERY 15 MINUTES,

AND LOTS OF CHARMING SMILES
FROM HANDSOME HOMBRES.

AND HELPING AVERY GAVE ME A WHOLE NEW WAY

TO STAY RELEVANT WITH TYLER, TOO.

( as teenage boy ) HEY, DO YOU WANT TO
DRIVE OUT TO THE LAKE?

OF COURSE I WANT TO DRIVE OUT TO THE LAKE.

THAT SOUNDS TOTALLY AWESOME.

WAIT, WHAT LAKE?

I DUNNO. THIS TOWN STINKS.

I CAN'T WAIT TILL I HAVE MY OWN APARTMENT.

I KNOW. ME, TOO.

MAYBE I'LL GET ONE BY THE LAKE!

( laughing ) DUDE! I AM SO THERE!

Both: DUDE!

WELL, I THINK THIS HAS
BEEN A VERY SUCCESSFUL

FIRST GATHERING OF THE CHLOES.

BOY, YOU ALL ATE A LOT.

YOU'RE PRETTY FULL, HUH?

( all groaning )

GAIL ALEJANDRA, YOU DIDN'T EAT VERY MUCH.

OH, I DIDN'T WANT TO FEEL BLOATED
FOR THE TAG REMATCH

TO GET MY NAME BACK.

OH, YEAH, WHEN DOES THAT START?

I BELIEVE IN THREE... TWO... ONE... GO!

Chloe: TAG... TAG... TAG... TAG!

I WIN!

THEY SHOULDN'T CALL ME DISTRACTED CHLOE,

THEY SHOULD CALL ME SMART CHLOE,

BECAUSE-- WHOA, THOSE CHICKEN
BONES LOOK LIKE A DINOSAUR.

( music playing )

( boing )