All language subtitles for Lucifer.S05E14.WEBRip.x264-ION10

[rock music playing]

♪ Gonna do it my way ♪

♪ Goin' for the gold ♪

♪ Gonna do it my way… ♪

Wait, you're gonna be what?

The new God. Isn't that great?

So your Dad's gonna retire,
and he chose you to replace him?

Well, not in so many words. He asked
me and Amenadiel to keep it a secret,

so it's obvious
he wants it to be one of us.

-And Amenadiel doesn't want it?
-Nope. It's all mine.

What about all the other angels?
Are they gonna be okay with this?

No, they'll have
more opinions than Twitter,

but Heaven's never been a democracy.

It's best they don't find out
until Dad makes it official.

But why you?

Because I would be
a much better God than my father ever was.

No, but why would you even want to be God?

[huffs]

Never mind the why.
This is gonna be great, Detective.

Lots of changes when I'm in charge.

War eradicated, world hunger satiated.

Hangovers… never should have
existed in the first place. [laughs]

[engine revs]

You know, I really thought
you'd be more excited about this.

Sorry.

[sighs] I guess I'm just

trying to wrap my mind
around what all of this means.

-Means?
-For us. Yeah.

Oh, well, it won't change a thing.
In fact, things will only get better.

I'll become omniscient,
omnipotent, omnipresent. All the omnis.

But how is that good for our relationship?

I'll be there for you whenever
and wherever you need me.

I'll know exactly what you're thinking.

That's not at all dangerous.

Well, I'll know exactly when you want me
to do that thing you like, for example.

[chuckles]

Look, Detective,
this is a good thing. Trust me.

I do.

I just…

You need time to process.
Of course you do.

Well, in the meantime,
how about business as usual?

Nice little murder,
take your mind off things?

[chuckles]

♪ Rise up, you never fall ♪

♪ Time to lay down the law, whoa! ♪

Could you imagine
being ripped apart by a shark?

Do I have to?

What do you think the worst part would be?

Those big ole teeth
tearing into your skin,

the water filling your lungs
as you scream

or the heart attack
from the sheer terror of it all?

You never cease to amaze me, Ella.

I mean, even the darkest,
most morbid stuff gets you excited,

and that's because you know
all this work's gonna help somebody.

Yeah.

[Lucifer] Sharks, one of Earth's
most misunderstood creatures.

Definitely correcting that when I'm God.

So, who do we have here?

Bruna Lorenzoni, 33,
chief operator of the aquarium.

-Pieces were found scattered in the tank.
-Obviously, death by shark, right?

Wrong!

See, this wound right here
is way deeper than any sort of tooth.

Cleaner cut too,
made by some sort of blade.

She was dead before she hit the water.

So the killer dumped the body,
hoping the sharks would hide the murder?

Should've known
we'd smell something fishy.

-Aww, Dad joke, nice.
-Thanks. I'm practicing.

We've located
all of her pieces except her left arm.

And the fingernails
on the hand we do have

show some sign of struggle,
so I sent the samples back to the lab.

Her pieces were in the water
for a long time, so it's gonna be tough,

but maybe our victim
nabbed some of the killer's DNA.

-Who found the body?
-Elizabeth Newman.

The aquarium's owner.

I came in this morning because
Bruna wasn't returning my calls.

I never imagined I'd find her like…

like that.

Oh, this is a nightmare. I don't know
how to do any of this without her.

Do you know of anyone
who would want Bruna dead?

No, I have no idea.

She was a pillar
of our marine conservation community.

Oceans wouldn't need saving if my father
hadn't been slacking. Just saying.

Who had access
to the aquarium grounds after hours?

[hesitates] I don't know.
Bruna ran everything.

I love our animals as much as she does,

but these days
I'm just more of the money person.

Yeah. Uh, Detective, I just realized,

when I'm God, I'll know
the answers to all your questions.

No more asking
useless people like Lizzie here.

Okay, well, you are not God yet,
so that is not helpful right now.

Well, I'm just trying to get you as
excited about my new promotion as…

I am.

Excuse me.

Brother, what are you doing here?

You weren't answering your phone.

Have you heard the news?

Father's back.

Really?

But why do you look so worried?
He's still retiring, isn't he?

Oh, yeah,
that's definitely still happening.

Excellent. Well, I should go talk to him

and get his blessing before
our meddlesome siblings find out.

Yeah.

About that…

[chattering]

[man] Thanks, Pop.

Oh, bloody Hell!

-[God] Hot dogs or burgers, my children?
-[Lucifer] Rude.

I didn't get an invitation.

Not even Gabriel's e-vite?

Well, she emails too much.
I send her straight to spam.

Hi, guys! Heard you talking about me.
Long time no see. Glad you could make it.

-Archangels, assemble!
-[chuckles]

Azrael says hi, wishes she could be here,

but you know,
no rest for the Angel of Death.

[both sigh] Hey, Gabriel.

So, Amenadiel,
someone's been a busy angel.

Spill. I wanna know everything
about your baby mama.

Like I would tell anything
to the Angel of Gossip.

-[chuckles]
-It's Angel of Messages, but whatever.

I got plenty of hot goss without you.

Have you heard?

Dad's getting old, and he's losing it.

Who told you that?

Michael.

At first we were like, "What? No way!"

But then we heard that
Dad was making people sing,

turned himself mortal,
lost his powers, exploded a human.

He put the human back together again.

Can we please talk about
the immediate problem here?

Like all of us archangels
gathered here on Earth,

out in the open
for all of humanity to see!

Relax, brother, this is LA.
No one will even notice.

Anyway, if you'll excuse us, sister,

we would like to have
a chat with dear old Dad.

[chuckles] Remiel.

It's good to see you, brother.

Sister.

Ha! Nothing.

Who invited the Devil
to our gathering of angels?

Brother Zadkiel,

still taking your Angel of Righteousness
role too seriously, I see.

[inhales, spits]

How dare you!

That's not a godly way to behave, Lucy.

You're right.

Excuse me.

Hello, my sons.

Welcome to my retirement party.

Can you smell what I'm cooking?

I learned that phrase from Linda.

Dad, I thought your retirement
was supposed to be a secret.

It was, and thank you for keeping it.

Father, we couldn't find you after
you disappeared from Lucifer's penthouse.

Were you off planning your retirement?

-Oh, I should do that, shouldn't I?
-[Gabriel] So, Dad.

Since you're retiring, there'll be
a new you, right? Who's it gonna be?

If it's a secret, whisper it in my ear.
I won't tell a soul.

[Remiel] It's obvious
who will replace Father.

-It's Amenadiel.
-[woman] Yes!

[scoffs] Well, actually,
it's not going to be Amenadiel.

It's going to be
the handsomest of us all.

Hanjobadiel?

No, not Hanjobadiel.

It's going to be me.

-[murmuring]
-What?

-No.
-Amenadiel, tell him it's you.

Remy, I'm sorry, but, uh…

Lucifer has my full support.

How can that be?
Of all the angels that are worthy--

Who is more qualified than me?
Good point.

I ran Hell for millennia.
Have any of you run your own kingdom?

Even so much as a taco truck?

[exhales] Didn't think so. [sniffs]

Brother, you know
I've always followed your lead.

Okay? But I cannot support the Fallen One.

Father, this is your choice.

Not theirs.

Tell us who you choose
to be your successor. Please.

Why don't you stay out of this with your
swirly staff and your bloody medieval--

Children, children,
please, one thing at a time.

My retirement plan, then my successor.

[groans]

But first, who wants
another hot dog? [laughs]

[groans]

Detective, I'm afraid that there has been
a speed bump in my road to becoming God.

Oh, no, really?

Yes, before Dad names me God 2.0,
he needs a retirement plan.

So, I thought, what better way
to prove that I'm God material

than to make his plans for him?

Huh. Okay. Got it.
Well, in Earthly matters,

we finished interviewing
everybody at the aquarium,

and aside from
a few endangered fish gone missing,

we've learned that-- Lucifer.

-Hmm?
-We have a lead.

On one of these retirement homes?

-No, on the case.
-Oh.

A few employees said
Bruna was arguing with her husband.

They overheard him making threats to her
on some screaming match over the phone.

You should bring him in.

You think?

Yes, I threatened my wife.
I threatened to leave her.

That stupid aquarium was her entire life.
She paid zero attention to anything else.

Including you?

Me, our children, our dogs, housework.

She couldn't even keep up
with her Fitbit challenges.

The night she died, you know where I was?

Home. Taking care
of our two sick kids, by myself.

-So you're giving us your alibi?
-I watch cop shows. I know how this works.

You'll find plenty of footage of me
covered in kid vomit on our nanny cam.

Bruna's employees
heard you screaming over the phone.

Was that also
about her never being around?

That was mostly about the affair.

She was making late night calls
to some restaurant owner named Jeremy.

I followed her to his house,
but all they did was argue.

Turns out it wasn't an affair.

It was just about her fish.

[chuckles] Even that was about work.

Part of me hoped she was cheating on me,

just to prove that her aquarium
wasn't her entire universe.

Her universe?

Would you say
she was sort of the god of the aquarium?

Sure.

A god who didn't have time
for the one who loved her the most.

Me.

Lucifer, are you hearing this?

His godlike wife
didn't have time for him.

-God, you say?
-Mm-hmm.

[gasps] Which one
of these retirement homes

do you think that your godlike wife
would enjoy the most?

Uh, Golden Oldies has the best salad bar,

but you can't beat
Big Sleep's water aerobics.

Retirement? What are you--

Bruna is dead.

Right.

Right, well, if you were God,

which one do you think
you'd like to spend your eternity in?

I wouldn't.

[sniffles] Not without my wife by my side.

Well, that doesn't help me at all.

My dad's wife is in another dimension.

I'm so sorry.

But maybe Dad could do with a new partner.

Well, that's it. Forget retirement homes.
You've given me a much better idea.

Excuse me, what about the case?
You haven't even been listening.

Yes, I was.

Aquarium, Fitbit, kid vomit,
restaurant owner named Jeremy.

-[grumbles]
-Wait.

It's not Jeremy
of Jeremy's Fine Food, is it?

Oh. Detective,
Jeremy is known in certain circles

for serving rare, illegal animals.

The aquarium's missing fish.

If Bruna found out someone
was selling the fish to Jeremy

and confronted him about it,
that's definitely motive for murder.

[scoffs]

Hmm?

[groans]

Having a soul is the worst.

-But isn't that what you wanted?
-Yeah, until I got one.

Got Eve and…

turns out having
a soul mate that can die…

It's torture.

There's also something very special about
the limited time we have with someone.

Maybe you could focus on what you do have

instead of what you don't.

[scoffs]

Not when I know
Eve will end up in Heaven.

Where I can never go.

You don't know that
she's gonna end up in Heaven.

She's the brightest, nicest,
most caring, honest person ever.

Of course she's going to Heaven.

Now that you have a new soul,
maybe you'll go too.

With all the terrible things I've done,
Linda? Come on.

Definitely going to Hell.

But wasn't there a time that
all you wanted was to go back there?

Yeah, as Hell's torturer.

But with a soul, if I die,

I'll turn up as one of the tortured.

[exhales]

Oh, God.

I know how they're gonna torture me.

I've gotta go fix this.

♪ If you only knew
How much I loved you ♪

♪ The sky would open up
And show from Heaven above… ♪

Detective!

Lucifer. You look handsome.

You look good enough to eat.

[laughs]

Um, why are we at Jeremy's
right now, dressed like this?

Weren't we gonna confront him tomorrow?

Why put off till tomorrow what we
can do tonight whilst drinking wine?

Besides, if we confront him head-on,
he'll surely deny, deny, deny.

But if we get him to sell us one of
his deliciously illegal meats, then voila!

[in French accent] Leverage.

-[normal accent] Leverage.
-So like a sting-date combo.

You know, that's a nice
work-life balance, Lucifer.

Maybe I don't need to be so worried
about you becoming God after all.

-Well, I told you. [chuckles]
-I know.

It'll be nice to have some alone time,
just the two of us.

[Lucifer] Mm.

[God] Son.

-Uh, and your dad.
-[Lucifer exhales]

[woman] Chloe.

And my mom.

Oh, ready for our double Decker date?

[chuckles]

[Lucifer sighs]

-[Chloe, God] Hmm.
-[woman] Oh!

-Good to see you two finally together.
-[Lucifer chuckles]

Hmm! On a surprise,
totally without warning, double date.

Oh, you didn't know either?
Well, that explains a lot.

My daughter never invites me to dinner.

[chuckles]

I was blindsided too.

Impossible, Dad, you're omniscient.

Dad?

Well, we haven't been properly introduced.

I'm Penelope.

I know.

Aww, you know my work.
Well, points already.

And your name is?

You can call me God.

Frey! Godfrey is his name.

Yeah, I thought you two would get along.

Dad is retiring,
and Penelope herself is retired.

-[hesitates] I am not retired.
-[Lucifer] No?

Who told you that? My agent?

Oh! Sorry, my mistake.
Well, you have other things in common.

You've both lost spouses.
So, there's that.

Your wife died?

No, she's just in her own universe.

Isn't that just
how relationships fall apart?

My John and I, we were the opposite.

We were totally connected.

-Totally supportive of each other.
-Hmm.

What? You don't agree?

[inhales] Well, he was…

completely supportive of you.

He gave up his dream of becoming
a detective to support your career.

And you're saying that's my fault?

Children. They blame us for everything.

Right? As if we created the world.

[laughing]

So…

tell me, Godfrey.

How long have you been this handsome?

Hmm.

[barking]

[panting] All right.

[shushing]

One, two, three.

[door opens]

Maze! Maze, what are you doing?

[sighs] Nothing.

I can't do it.

Can't do what?

[sighs] Something I'll feel guilty about.

[sighs] Why, Maze?

[sighs]

Because that'll be what Squee
tortures me with in Hell, okay?

I know what my Hell loop is going to be.

I was trying to change it.

So you'd rather be a puppy murderer?

I'm going to be trapped
in that hospital room, Amenadiel.

Breaking Eve's heart.

Losing her over and over and over.

Forever.

Maybe not, Maze.

[shudders]

When Lucifer becomes God,
you can just ask him for help.

Hold on. Lucifer's doing what?

He's taking over after our father retires.

I'm sure it's gonna be no problem for him
to change the rules of Hell for you.

You got this, right?

-What?
-Yep, okay.

No. No, no, no, no, no.
Maze, what are you doing?

-Maze! Don't-- [groans]
-[urinating]

My little rebel
made such a mess in that garden.

[Penelope and God laugh]

Chloe's most difficult phase
were her Goth years.

[chuckling] Hot Topic
almost bankrupted us.

-[God chuckles]
-Okay.

Enough with the childhood
embarrassing stories, thank you.

Godfrey, why don't you
tell us about your old job?

What kind of work-life balance
did you have?

I actually didn't have much of a life.

It was pretty much all work.

I'm sure he's exaggerating.

Caused a lot of problems
between me and my wife.

She always felt like
I didn't have enough time for her.

Maybe she was right.

-Oh.
-Ready to order entrees?

-I'm not hungry.
-I'm vegan.

-What? Since when?
-Okay, I'll order for the table.

[waiter] Would you
like to hear our specials?

Well, actually, um…

[whispers] I'm interested
in your special specials.

I'm in the mood for some Asian arowana.

Sir, we don't serve
endangered animals here.

That's not what I heard.

I'd like to speak with the owner, please.

Sorry, sir, you have the wrong idea.

Well, I think we just blew our shot.

Oh, merely a slight snag.

Anyway, let's concentrate
on what's important here.

Your mom and my dad.
A match made in Heaven.

Excuse me.
Jeremy Morgan, I'm the owner.

And I want to apologize
for our waiter's behavior.

He had no idea
we had such an important guest.

That's quite all right.

Miss Decker, I'm a a huge fan.

[chuckles] Althea: Queen of the Quarks,
that should have won you an Oscar.

[laughs] Oh, my!

Well, thank you. And I totally agree.

[Jeremy] It is an honor
to have you in my restaurant.

Now, we don't normally serve
first-timers from our secret menu,

and sadly, we don't have any arowana,

but I do have a delicacy fit for a queen.

Oh.

[Jeremy] Ailuropoda melanoleuca tartare.

Ooh, sounds so European.

-[God] You said you were vegan, right?
-Mm-hmm.

You sure you wanna eat panda?

Panda?

Jeremy Morgan, you're under arrest.

And I'm sure PETA will agree,
most likely going to Hell.

Yesterday, on my morning run,

I saw this guy about to cross the street,

head in his phone, not paying attention,

moments away from walking into traffic.

And my mind
started picturing things. Like…

like, really vivid things.

Which car would hit him first?

Which of his bones would shatter?

The position his body
would land on the ground.

Exactly how long
it would take him to bleed out.

Detail after detail.

I eventually snapped out of it, but…

it was too late.

He got hit?

No.

No, he-- He looked up in time.

-But that, that's not the point.
-[sighs]

The point is that helping him
wasn't my first thought.

[voce breaking] Or my second.

Or my third.

[crying] How messed up is that?

Ella.

You've been coming to see me
ever since you caught Pete.

And over all that time,
you've never taken a single day off.

Maybe it's catching up to you.

No, no, no, no,
the job is what centers me.

Channels these thoughts
into some kind of purpose.

The truth is…

I've been this way my entire life.

I've hidden it from everyone.

[inhales]

Dan, Chloe.

Everyone thinks I'm a good person.

I told Amenadiel that
I would try to accept myself, but…

how?

How can I accept myself when
this darkness is such a part of who I am?

[sighs] Why haven't I heard anything yet?

-[clears throat] Lucifer.
-I gave my Dad a phone.

The least he can do
is text me how it went.

As I was saying, we found
your freezer full of illegal meats.

Bruna found out. She was gonna
expose you, so you killed her.

I had nothing to do
with Bruna's death. I swear.

-Yes, I serve exotic meats.
-[phone whooshes]

Any idea how hard it is
to run a restaurant in LA?

You have to innovate
just to stay in business.

The savage isn't lying about that.

-Oh, so you are with us?
-[phone chiming]

Sorry.

So, Bruna wasn't aware
of what you were up to?

No, she was,
but she wasn't trying to stop me.

She was trying to sell some of her fish.

Marine conservationist Bruna,
whose whole life was that aquarium?

I don't know about any of that.

All I know is she approached me months ago
and offered to sell me some bluefin tuna.

It's hard to come by, so I bought some.
I have the wire transfers to prove it.

If you were in business,
what were you arguing about?

A week ago,
she offered me her rarest fish.

She said
she needed to sell $47,000 worth,

but I'd just maxed out on my budget on…

[sighs] …bald eagle.

So I turned her down.

She freaked out and left, and that's
the last time I had any contact with her.

-Where were you the night of the murder?
-My restaurant. My employees can verify.

-[chiming]
-[Lucifer] For Dad's sake.

I know he has big fingers,
but these texts are simply indecipherable.

I'm just gonna call him.
Excuse me, Detective. Wolfgang Yuck.

We're gonna need those wire transfers.

[cell phone ringing]

[Lucifer] Oh, come on,
just answer the bloody phone.

Oh, there you are. So?

How'd it go? Ready to ride off
into the sunset with a Decker of your own?

Penelope is lovely.

But she's a few millennia
too young for me.

Right. Okay. No double Decker. [chuckles]

Well, there's plenty more fish in the sea.

I'll find you a match
if it's the last non-God thing I do.

Lucifer, you're not listening.

There is and will always be
only one woman I will ever love.

Fine. Well,
if you're gonna be stubborn about it,

I'll plan a different element
of your retirement, then.

Son.

I don't need your help.

I need to make sure
that everything's ready.

Unless…

Unless, of course, you just want
to name your successor now.

Perhaps someone who's passionate about
making plans, if you know what I mean?

You mean someone
who's trying to get rid of me.

I am trying to make your transition
as smooth as possible, Dad.

Get everything moving
so you can just give me the--

give me the throne. [sighs]

Everything in its time, son.

For now…

I don't wanna hear you speak
a word of my retirement again.

Eh. Heard and understood.

You won't hear another word about
your retirement come out of these lips.

Hole in one.

-Again.
-[chuckles]

-This is fun.
-Huh.

But I know why we're really here.

Lucifer asked you
to talk to me about my retirement.

He's delegating.

One of the many requirements
of your job, right?

And you're sure
you want Lucifer to take my place?

Believe me, Dad, I…

have my reservations, but…

Lucifer's come a long way.

And he does his best
when you put a little faith in him.

Huh.

So how many of these games
do you want me to win

before we visit
Lucifer's retirement homes?

[both laugh]

I'm glad you're back, Dad.

I'm really enjoying
spending this kind of time with you.

Me too, son.

[chuckles]
But something's been bothering me.

-I mean, you're playing the perfect game.
-Should I take it easy on you?

No, no, that's not it.
That's not it. It's just…

I don't know.

It doesn't seem
to me like you're losing it.

It is strange, isn't it?

I feel fine.

When's the first time
you noticed a problem?

I didn't. Michael did.

A few months back.

Michael noticed?

And did you feel like you were
losing control of your powers then?

[exhales] Not right away,
but the more we talked about it,

the more I realized I was.

You know we angels self-actualize, right?

Dad, what if you self-actualize too?

What if you're doing this to yourself?

Oh!

Amenadiel says Dad didn't want
to see any of the rest homes I picked.

-Huh.
-[sighs]

Do you think maybe
he's reconsidering retiring, maybe?

You don't want me to be God, do you?

Lucifer, this whole case,
you know, your mind has…

been elsewhere.

And I just wonder if
when you're actually ruling the universe,

you don't have time for us.

Just like your dad said that
he didn't have time for your mom.

Detective, I have told you,
I'm going to do things differently.

[chuckles] Said every child
of every parent ever.

Guys, so I checked
Bruna's secret wire account,

and it confirms Jeremy's story.

She was totally
receiving deposits from him.

-So she was selling her fish.
-[Ella] That's not all.

A few days before she was murdered,
she received a mondo transfer for $47,000.

The exact same amount
that Bruna told Jeremy she needed.

Mm-hmm.
Now, I don't know who sent the payment,

but I was able to track the routing info
to an IP registered to this address.

[grunting]

Huh! That sushi they're eating
could be Bruna's fish.

Recognize anyone?

Oh! Yakuza tattoos.

[grunting]

-Wonderful. Who do you think's in charge?
-My guess. The impressive chap in red.

I'll get us an audience.

But we have a warrant.

Well, respect will get us further.

And the quickest way to earn that
is to display superior skills in battle.

Battle? Lucifer, no.

Relax, Detective,
I'm invulnerable, remember?

Besides, my dad has been
driving me up the wall.

I need to blow off some steam.

Lucifer--

[men murmuring]

Fancy another go?

-[laughing]
-Oh?

Very well, I'll go first.

[snarls]

Hai! [man grunting]

[grunts]

-[grunts]
-[men laughing]

-[speaks Japanese]
-[man chuckles] Oh!

[gasps]

[growls]

Well, this doesn't seem
like a very fair fight.

Let's even things up, shall we?

[grunting]

[chuckling]

[thuds]

Yummy.

-Who knows what that is?
-Good point.

[chuckles] Okay,
that's not Bruna's endangered fish.

I only bought her good legal stuff.

$47,000 worth?

No. That was purely a donation I made
'cause she was an honorable woman.

What's so honorable about making
a profit selling endangered animals?

She wasn't keeping the money for herself.

She was putting the money back
into the aquarium to save the fish.

The place was in dire straits. Without
the 47K, the aquarium would go under.

So she was sacrificing
a few fish to save the many?

[man] Hmm.

Did anyone else know what Bruna was doing?

A woman called from the aquarium
asking about the donation,

implying it was for some missing fish.

She sounded angry.
I didn't catch her name.

Huh.

-Oh, thank you.
-Yes, thank you.

-[man exhales]
-See? Easy.

Yes, but which female employee
would have motive to kill Bruna?

Well, who would be more angry

about the aquarium being used as
a seafood bar than our old friend Lizzie?

The woman who actually owns it?

Exactly.

-But we have no evidence to prove it.
-[sighs]

So, what was it
you wanted to see me about?

Well, don't you wanna keep it?

Eve doesn't want it,
so it's useless to me.

[sighs] Maze, I am sorry
that I didn't tell you about your mother.

I wanted to.

I don't know,
maybe I shouldn't have kept my promise.

It's okay. Lucifer, I get it.

You were just trying to protect me
from having to face how…

little I meant to her.

Yeah.

So I hear you're going to be God.

If all goes well.
Do you wanna talk me out of it?

No.

I want you to be God,

so you can change
one of the rules of Hell for me.

Ah, yes, Amenadiel told me
you want me to change your Hell loop.

No.

I want you to change
who can sit on the throne.

But Father said
Hell no longer needed a warden.

But maybe it deserves one.

You?

Is that what you really want?

I can't stay here, Lucifer.

And I want to control
who does the torturing.

[exhales]

Well.

I can't think of anyone
I would trust more with our old home.

To Mazikeen.

Queen of Hell.

I was thinking Maziqueen. But whatever.

[chuckles]

[glasses clink]

-[typing]
-[sighs]

-Daddy Morningstar! Hey.
-[chuckles]

Oh, if you're looking for your son, he--

You know what I just realized?

If you're Lucifer's dad,

that would make you God. Right?

Hmm. That would, wouldn't it?

I really wish you were.

'Cause I am grasping
at straws in our latest case.

And it would be so much easier
if you'd just, you know… [clucks]

wink, wink, just tell me
how to catch our killer.

I can't tell you that.

[Ella groans]

But I can tell
you're struggling with something.

Is there anything I can do to help?

Not unless you can
smite the darkness out of me.

Everyone has darkness in them.

It's not about getting rid of it.
It's about accepting it.

Yeah, but mine's…

mine's different.

Deeper.

It attracts me to bad people.

I think…

I think maybe I'm a bad person.

My child.

The darker the darkness,

the brighter the light.

And you, Miss Lopez,

shine so very, very brightly.

I can see it all the way from Heaven.

[exhales]

-[computer beeps]
-Oh, uh, those are the results!

Oh, my gosh.

My hunch paid off. My--

Uh… [clears throat]

So, God is retiring.

And Lucifer's taking his place.

Hmm.

Makes an odd amount of sense.

Really? That's your reaction?

Well, Lucifer is surprisingly great
at big picture kind of stuff.

I mean, he did just pull off
a pretty elaborate prank

that made me think… [chuckles]
I got a bunch of people killed. So…

I'm sorry. Lucifer did what?

D-Doesn't matter.

The-- the point is, it was
a pretty transformative experience for me.

In a good way.

So, if Lucifer is God,
I can think of crazier things.

Wow.

Did not think
I would ever hear that from you.

But, um… [clears throat]
that's not what I'm concerned about.

What are you worried about then?

That he won't be able to balance
being the ruler of the universe

with being my boyfriend.

Which, when I say out loud,
sounds selfish--

No. Mnh-mnh.

-Yeah.
-I get it.

It's a lot.

But if it's any comfort,
Lucifer's crazy about you.

And you know that.

And you're crazy about him.

So I think you should just trust that
whatever challenges life throws at you,

you're gonna figure it out.

Prepare to be impressed.

So you guys remember how we couldn't
find the victim's missing arm, right?

So based on her husband
saying that she had a Fitbit,

I was able to track its serial number,
ping its location and boom, found it!

[Dan] Huh.

It's still at the aquarium, you guys.

Doing figure eights in one of the tanks.

So it's inside of a shark?

Bingo!

Now sharks swallow their meals whole,

so if there's any sort of evidence
on that arm, it might still be there.

Yeah, but the hand that we already have
didn't produce any identifiable DNA,

so with water and stomach acid,

the chances are
even slimmer with this arm.

Right. But the killer doesn't know that.

[man] Uh, I don't know about this.

It's just a fish.
If I could move it on my own, I would.

You're asking us to move a shark.
I'm sorry, lady, but we gotta go.

-Come on.
-[Chloe] You, uh, moving something?

[chuckles] Detective!

This, uh…
this shark's grown too large for his tank.

I'm transporting him
to the marina to set him free.

Just two hours after I told you
it's digesting a piece of evidence.

Hmm. I couldn't imagine a more
suspicious time to suddenly free Willy.

The shark's name is Andrew.

And I'm sorry,
but unless you have a warrant,

then whatever's in Andrew's stomach
has to stay there while I release him.

That's funny because I thought
you were a hands-off kind of boss.

Not when it comes
to covering up her crimes, it seems.

Oh, and we do have a warrant.

Our search team is
in your office right now.

Plus, I'm sure we'll find
your DNA on Bruna's arm.

So I would say
you are dead in the water, Lizzie.

[hesitates]

I was-- I was too hands-off.

I-- I found out too late
that Bruna was playing God,

choosing which fish would live
and which ones would die.

None of these beautiful creatures
deserve that.

Sounds to me like
Bruna wasn't the only one playing God.

Did you enjoy smiting her?

I didn't mean to kill her.

I-- I confronted her about--
about what she was doing,

and she-- she threw it in my face.

She said that she'd been telling me
about our financial issues for years.

You know, things got heated, and I…

I lost control.

I didn't even know I had the letter opener
in my hand until I stabbed her with it.

If I had just listened to her…

given her what she needed
when she told me,

then none of this
would have ever happened.

Well, Elizabeth Newman, you're under
arrest for the murder of Bruna Lorenzoni.

[mutters]

[handcuffs click]

Lucifer, you okay?

No, I--

Something our killer said
just made me realize something.

I don't think I've been listening at all

to what my father
truly wants for his retirement.

Would you excuse me?

There's something I need to do.

[sighs]

Hey, Gabriel. You got a minute?

Oh, come on, I know you're listening.
You always are.

[wings flap]

What can I say?

It's one of my God-given talents.

Indeed.

But right now I am interested
in one of your other talents.

I, uh…

I need you to do me a favor.

[knock on door]

[Chloe] Mom!

Hi. What are you doing here?

I brought Trixie a chocolate cake.

Oh.

How thoughtful.

She won't be here until later,
but thank you.

Mom, are you okay?

It's what you said at dinner.

I mean, do you really think
I'd make your father give up his dreams?

Well, I don't know
if you made him, but he did.

Oh, darling.

You always think you know everything.

Your father and I had a deal.

We would take turns.

He'd hold off on becoming a detective
until I got my acting career going.

And then after a few years,
we would switch.

[hesitates] But when it came time…

for his turn, he, um…

He died.

[voice cracks] I wanted to see
your father become a detective so badly.

I'm sorry, Mom.

I just need you to know that I loved
your father from the bottom of my heart.

And I'd give anything to have another
chance at being the supporting partner.

Okay, Mom. [sniffles]

I hear you.

[sniffles] You wanna stay for dinner?

-We have dessert.
-[laughs, sniffles]

Lucifer!

-[chuckles]
-Why'd you call us here, brother?

Well, after finally listening to what
Dad's been telling me all along,

I realized there's only one thing that's
gonna make his retirement fulfilling.

So, I enlisted Gabriel's help
to make it happen.

Did you know our sister can
deliver a message anywhere?

And I mean…

anywhere.

Mom?

Hello, my sweet boy.

Husband.

Wife.

Lucifer, how?

Well, it wasn't easy. Mom says she only
has enough juice for this one time.

I never thought I'd see you again.

I never thought I'd see you retire.

Hmm. Well, like I've always said,

it's a tough gig.

But you understand that
now that you're doing it.

I don't find it nearly as difficult
as you made it out to be.

[chuckles]

Then clearly
you're better at it than I ever was.

No surprise in that.

Well, I must admit, though…

it does get lonely at the top.

Lucifer,
you don't have to become God anymore.

I found out Dad's not losing his powers.
Michael's been gaslighting him.

It's all been inside of his head.

Michael? [scoffs] Well, he won't get away
with that sorta thing when I'm in charge.

Brother, do you hear what I'm saying?
Dad's fine. He can keep being God.

Everything can go back to normal.

Everything.

We can be a family again.

[chuckles] Wonderful,

except for the part where I don't get
to become God and prove that I'm worthy.

[hesitates] Just, I'll deal with this.

So looks like my plans
for Dad's retirement

have got off
to a smashing start. [chuckles]

What's it gonna be, hmm?

Good old Florida?
Back up to the Silver City?

Actually, we have decided…

we're moving to my universe.

What?

But you're both here.

-Together.
-[Lucifer] Yeah.

You're just gonna leave us again?

Without any ability to come back?

Your mother spent a long time in my world.

It's my turn…

to spend time in hers.

[sighs] Dad, a-- a word, please.

I can't believe I'm saying this, but…

now that we know you're not losing it,

there's no need for you to retire.
You can just keep on being God.

I thought you wanted to be God.

Well, I did. I-- I do. [hesitates]

But you've only just got here.

Can't you…

stay and annoy me for a bit longer?

Nothing lasts forever, son.

[huffs]

I am so…

so sorry I didn't get
to say goodbye last time.

-No, I never blamed you, Mom.
-No. [chuckles]

Of course you didn't.

My kindest, wisest, most perfect son.

And now the perfect dad.

I'm far from it.

But…

I'm trying my best.

That's what makes you perfect.

So that's it?
I've got no choice in the matter?

I've given you a life of choice.

This one's mine.

[sighs]

Lucifer.

At our family dinner…

you were right.

[inhales] I could
have been a better father to you.

[chuckles] Well,
now you forego your mysterious ways.

Just as you're leaving?

No need for them anymore
now that I'm retiring.

Which means…

[Lucifer sighs]

…I can say something
I've wanted to for a long time.

I love you, son.

[sighs deeply]

And I am very proud
of the man you've become.

[Lucifer sobbing]

I think Amenadiel
might like to hear that too.

-[God laughs]
-[panting]

I already told him.

It was an emotional round of golf.

[chuckles]

Time to go. My universe needs me.

-[Lucifer] Oh.
-[sighs]

Thank you, son.

[God sighs]

Dad, wait.

You forgot to name your successor.

It's not up to me anymore.

You'll figure it out.

Back to your mysterious ways already.

All part of my plan.

Plan.

How much of this was your plan?

[chuckles]

Goodbye, my loves.

[Lucifer sighs]

[sighs]

-Hi.
-[exhales]

I'm glad you called.

How are you holding up?

Oh, nothing lasts forever, I suppose.

[huffs]

I decided something.

I'm quitting the LAPD.

Sorry.

Sorry, I thought I heard you say
you were quitting the LAPD.

Yeah.

I became a cop so that
I could do good and help people.

And as God, you'll have
the power to help, well, everyone.

So if I can help you become God…

then I'll be helping everyone as well.

[hesitates] Are you sure?

I mean, how can I call you "the Detective"
if you're not actually a detective?

[chuckles]

Lucifer…

you've been helping me
do my job for the last five years.

Now it's my turn to support you.

That's what partners do, right?

[gasps]

[chuckles]

I'll take that as a yes.

[Lucifer sighs]

-[wings flap]
-[Remiel] Lucifer!

Where is Father?

Uh, excuse us, we were having a moment.

Where is he?

Gone. Retired. Eternally unavailable.

Did he name his successor?

No, he said it was up to us
to figure it out, but why?

Can we talk?

Without the human?

No. Whatever you want to say to me,
you can say in front of…

my consultant. [chuckles]

So be it.

Upon returning to the Silver City,
I discovered something alarming.

Michael's been gathering support
from the others.

Support for what?

Michael wants to be God.

The sneaky bastard.
I bet this was his plan all along.

If it's up to our brothers and sisters,
it looks like he has a good shot,

which is why…

and I cannot believe I am saying this…

I am backing you, Lucifer.

I may not like you,
but I hate Michael even more.

Now there's a ringing endorsement
for my campaign poster.

Michael would never suspect
I'd take your side.

So, I'll find out what he's up to.

[sighs] Whatever it is, it can't be good.

And knowing my brother,
he won't be wasting any time.

[animals shriek]

Hello.

-Who's your favorite brother?
-Oh!

Quit it, dork!

Gotcha. [chuckles]

I did the favor for Lucifer,
like you asked me to.

Gotta say, Mom's universe is pretty cool.

The centaurs freak me out, though.

And…

You get the thing?

I got the thing.

-You wanna see it?
-Uh-huh.

-Careful!
-[clattering]

This thing can actually kill us.

Oh, that's right.

My bad.

[sighs]

[exhales]

Azrael really should have
kept a better eye on her blade.