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1
00:00:02,037 --> 00:00:03,106
BIG:
Whew!
2
00:00:03,173 --> 00:00:04,510
Gonna be another scorcher today
3
00:00:04,576 --> 00:00:07,014
with a wave
of record heat and humidity
4
00:00:07,081 --> 00:00:09,485
we're calling Heat Wave Dick.
5
00:00:09,553 --> 00:00:11,724
Reporting live
from downtown Greenpoint
6
00:00:11,790 --> 00:00:13,493
is our own MayKay Bueller.
7
00:00:13,561 --> 00:00:15,798
How's everybody coping
out there, MayKay?
8
00:00:15,865 --> 00:00:18,538
Hoo‐hoo! Oh, oh, hi there, Big.
9
00:00:18,604 --> 00:00:21,142
I'm standing here
in the town square
10
00:00:21,209 --> 00:00:22,679
with no one to interview
11
00:00:22,746 --> 00:00:26,787
because the National
Weather Service has literally
12
00:00:26,854 --> 00:00:29,560
ordered people indoors.
13
00:00:29,626 --> 00:00:31,062
So the question is:
14
00:00:31,129 --> 00:00:34,670
why the hell
am I still out here? (laughs)
15
00:00:34,736 --> 00:00:37,207
Ha! We'll be checking up
with MayKay for more news
16
00:00:37,274 --> 00:00:39,780
on Heat Wave Dick
throughout the day.
17
00:00:39,846 --> 00:00:40,915
Throughout the day?!
18
00:00:40,982 --> 00:00:44,422
(crowd chatter)
19
00:00:48,430 --> 00:00:52,672
Okay, y'all, now this isn't
a free AC factory,
20
00:00:52,739 --> 00:00:56,914
so everybody better be ordering
or actively eating.
21
00:00:56,981 --> 00:00:59,218
Also, quit using
the paper products
22
00:00:59,285 --> 00:01:01,055
to dab sweat off
your nethers.
23
00:01:01,122 --> 00:01:04,295
‐(man grunts)
‐Our napkins are not beach towels, y'all.
24
00:01:04,362 --> 00:01:06,466
Hey, bitch‐padre.
25
00:01:06,533 --> 00:01:08,571
We on for Slusheritos tonight?
26
00:01:08,638 --> 00:01:12,579
You know it! I live for our
Tuesday night Slusherito bashes!
27
00:01:12,646 --> 00:01:15,050
Tuesday Spewsday!
28
00:01:15,117 --> 00:01:17,656
Oh, by the way,
here's that shirt I borrowed.
29
00:01:17,722 --> 00:01:19,025
Thanks again, Jenny.
30
00:01:19,091 --> 00:01:20,695
Cool. You're welcome.
31
00:01:20,762 --> 00:01:22,699
Uh, wait.
32
00:01:22,766 --> 00:01:24,536
It's missing a sleeve.
33
00:01:24,603 --> 00:01:25,404
Oh, what?
34
00:01:25,470 --> 00:01:26,640
This space right here.
35
00:01:26,707 --> 00:01:28,511
This is
where a sleeve should be.
36
00:01:28,577 --> 00:01:30,080
Oh, yeah, that.
37
00:01:30,147 --> 00:01:32,384
So, ha‐ha. Crazy story.
38
00:01:32,451 --> 00:01:35,925
I popped into a gas station
to get a squirt‐bottle fan,
39
00:01:35,992 --> 00:01:37,194
and this lady came
out of nowhere
40
00:01:37,261 --> 00:01:38,496
and grabbed the last one,
41
00:01:38,564 --> 00:01:40,535
so I body‐checked her
into the jerky rack,
42
00:01:40,601 --> 00:01:42,939
and she tore the sleeve off
in retaliation.
43
00:01:43,006 --> 00:01:44,475
Heat waves, am I right?
44
00:01:44,543 --> 00:01:46,513
It's just that, when I lend you
a two‐sleeved shirt,
45
00:01:46,580 --> 00:01:49,920
I kind of expect it to come back
with, you know, two sleeves.
46
00:01:49,986 --> 00:01:54,228
Okay, well, you should have
told me beforehand then.
47
00:01:54,295 --> 00:01:56,332
I can't read your mind, Jenny.
48
00:01:56,399 --> 00:01:59,271
I'm not the Long Island Medium,
Theresa Caputo.
49
00:01:59,338 --> 00:02:01,643
Well, I couldn't have predicted
you'd rip a sleeve off
50
00:02:01,710 --> 00:02:05,150
'cause I am also not the Long
Island Medium, Theresa Caputo.
51
00:02:05,217 --> 00:02:06,520
Good. We both agree
52
00:02:06,587 --> 00:02:09,091
we're not the Long Island
Medium, Theresa Caputo.
53
00:02:09,158 --> 00:02:10,895
‐(grunting)
‐Help! My butt implants
54
00:02:10,962 --> 00:02:14,301
have dangerously suctioned me
to this wet booth!
55
00:02:14,368 --> 00:02:16,072
‐(loud ripping)
‐(screaming)
56
00:02:16,139 --> 00:02:18,511
♪ ♪
57
00:02:46,199 --> 00:02:49,271
WAYNE:
Okay, y'all ready?
58
00:02:49,338 --> 00:02:50,407
I think
the cold's built up enough.
59
00:02:50,473 --> 00:02:52,311
I'm gonna give us
another blast.
60
00:02:52,377 --> 00:02:54,281
‐Oh, Lord, yes.
‐Deliver me, sweet Jesus.
61
00:02:54,348 --> 00:02:57,221
Did I miss the blast?!
Ugh! I'm so hot, I think
62
00:02:57,287 --> 00:02:58,824
there are parts of me
that are safe to eat.
63
00:02:58,891 --> 00:03:00,728
I'm meeting Travis
at the movies to soak up
64
00:03:00,795 --> 00:03:04,001
that sweet, sweet movie‐theater
AC. You want to come?
65
00:03:04,068 --> 00:03:05,805
‐Yes.
‐Oh, God, yes.
66
00:03:05,872 --> 00:03:07,809
Okay, we can do this.
67
00:03:07,876 --> 00:03:09,980
You ready? (inhales deeply)
68
00:03:10,046 --> 00:03:12,017
(all yelling)
69
00:03:12,084 --> 00:03:13,754
(groans)
70
00:03:13,821 --> 00:03:15,691
(whimpers)
71
00:03:15,758 --> 00:03:16,894
Ugh.
72
00:03:16,960 --> 00:03:18,162
We just got to get to my truck!
73
00:03:18,229 --> 00:03:19,164
I'll turn on the AC.
74
00:03:19,231 --> 00:03:20,668
‐Aah!
‐Aah!
75
00:03:20,735 --> 00:03:23,172
Wayne, why is there hot air
coming out of these vents?
76
00:03:23,239 --> 00:03:25,310
Your dumb‐ass truck's got
its wires crossed.
77
00:03:25,377 --> 00:03:26,980
Now don't talk to her like that.
78
00:03:27,047 --> 00:03:28,517
You know
she doesn't like the heat.
79
00:03:28,584 --> 00:03:31,322
‐(engine revs)
‐I'm sorry, baby. I know you're trying.
80
00:03:31,389 --> 00:03:33,794
I think
this heat's making Wayne loony.
81
00:03:33,861 --> 00:03:38,469
No, he's right. She doesn't
like the heat. She told me.
82
00:03:41,442 --> 00:03:43,012
(easy listening music playing)
83
00:03:43,079 --> 00:03:44,950
(all sigh)
84
00:03:45,016 --> 00:03:46,218
(dramatic movie music playing)
85
00:03:46,285 --> 00:03:48,991
Dr. Angelica,
the missile's too heavy
86
00:03:49,058 --> 00:03:51,763
for this electric,
computer‐made foreign truck.
87
00:03:51,830 --> 00:03:54,636
Impossible. All my Harvard
PhD calculations say
88
00:03:54,703 --> 00:03:57,307
that this truck is
scientifically designed
89
00:03:57,374 --> 00:03:58,577
to handle maximum haulage.
90
00:03:58,644 --> 00:04:00,447
Well, you better start
recalculating
91
00:04:00,514 --> 00:04:02,417
'cause we've only got 30 seconds
92
00:04:02,484 --> 00:04:05,323
to haul this missile into
the desert before it explodes
93
00:04:05,390 --> 00:04:07,628
and kills everyone
in the Western world.
94
00:04:07,695 --> 00:04:12,304
Maybe you need to haul it
with something made in America.
95
00:04:12,371 --> 00:04:13,874
Wayne, that's your truck!
96
00:04:13,941 --> 00:04:15,945
Haul Force One!
97
00:04:16,012 --> 00:04:18,717
(playing upbeat tune)
98
00:04:18,784 --> 00:04:21,623
♪ ♪
99
00:04:27,467 --> 00:04:31,308
(engine revving)
100
00:04:31,375 --> 00:04:32,678
(whoops)
101
00:04:33,379 --> 00:04:36,753
That's my truck!
That's my sweet baby up there!
102
00:04:36,820 --> 00:04:38,256
Shut up! Sit down!
103
00:04:38,322 --> 00:04:40,928
You're ruining the experience
for everyone.
104
00:04:40,995 --> 00:04:43,901
Who buys my bootleg DVDs.
105
00:04:43,967 --> 00:04:46,138
(heavenly music plays)
106
00:04:46,205 --> 00:04:50,480
Ugh. It's so hot, I am
this close to shaving my beard.
107
00:04:50,548 --> 00:04:52,317
‐What do you think?
‐No.
108
00:04:52,384 --> 00:04:53,987
How about a mustache?
109
00:04:54,054 --> 00:04:55,891
It's a little too dastardly
for my taste.
110
00:04:55,958 --> 00:04:59,866
You look like you're about to
tie a lady to some train tracks.
111
00:04:59,933 --> 00:05:01,970
I call this
"parting the waters."
112
00:05:02,037 --> 00:05:03,306
It's my answer to The Rachel.
113
00:05:03,372 --> 00:05:07,180
ZZ Top? Hulk Hogan? Iron Man?
114
00:05:07,715 --> 00:05:10,186
Oh, come on.
This is good stuff, Jenny.
115
00:05:10,253 --> 00:05:13,192
I'm sorry. I'm just so freaking
mad at Brenda right now.
116
00:05:13,259 --> 00:05:15,230
Jenny, you gals need to talk.
117
00:05:15,296 --> 00:05:16,600
No, never mind. It's okay.
118
00:05:16,666 --> 00:05:18,904
It's just this heat.
It's making us all crazy.
119
00:05:18,971 --> 00:05:20,508
I'm gonna do something
I haven't done
120
00:05:20,574 --> 00:05:23,279
in a thousand years or so‐‐
religious visions.
121
00:05:23,346 --> 00:05:25,150
‐Relax into it.
‐Really?
122
00:05:25,216 --> 00:05:26,686
(laughs)
No.
123
00:05:26,753 --> 00:05:29,726
I'm just gonna remind you
of a bunch of stuff Brenda did.
124
00:05:29,792 --> 00:05:32,899
Brenda! I just found my purse
emptied out
125
00:05:32,965 --> 00:05:35,971
in the bathroom garbage, and
my wallet was already missing!
126
00:05:36,038 --> 00:05:39,044
I asked you to watch it
for five minutes!
127
00:05:39,111 --> 00:05:41,315
Jenny, I don't work for you.
128
00:05:41,382 --> 00:05:42,885
I mean, I can if you pay me.
129
00:05:42,952 --> 00:05:45,423
That'll be hard since
some boo‐boo stole your wallet.
130
00:05:45,490 --> 00:05:47,929
What a conundrum, am I right?
131
00:05:47,995 --> 00:05:50,734
(music playing faintly)
132
00:05:51,536 --> 00:05:54,174
Brenda, did you break
every one of my lipsticks?
133
00:05:54,241 --> 00:05:56,278
I paint with a heavy hand!
134
00:05:56,345 --> 00:05:57,748
Brenda, what the hell?!
135
00:05:57,815 --> 00:06:00,721
Okay, someone might
have spilled a full bowl
136
00:06:00,788 --> 00:06:02,792
of Cap'n Crunch all over
y'all's car last night
137
00:06:02,858 --> 00:06:05,698
and then left the door ajar
to air out their cereal farts.
138
00:06:05,764 --> 00:06:09,171
But, you know,
there is no way to be sure.
139
00:06:09,238 --> 00:06:10,808
Okay, I see it now.
140
00:06:10,874 --> 00:06:13,312
And I don't recall a single
"I'm sorry" in there.
141
00:06:13,379 --> 00:06:14,549
I'm gonna go talk to her.
142
00:06:14,616 --> 00:06:17,855
Good! Wait, wait, wait.
Watch this.
143
00:06:18,724 --> 00:06:20,661
Nope.
144
00:06:26,205 --> 00:06:27,608
ALL:
Ugh!
145
00:06:27,675 --> 00:06:29,746
Forgot we're living
in a hellscape.
146
00:06:29,812 --> 00:06:31,348
Whoa. Is this your truck?
147
00:06:31,415 --> 00:06:33,620
Sure is. Had her for years.
148
00:06:33,687 --> 00:06:36,358
Whoa. Is that the freaking car
from the freaking movie?
149
00:06:36,425 --> 00:06:37,895
Dad, get out your little
money‐writing book
150
00:06:37,962 --> 00:06:40,501
and start writing some money
to get me that car.
151
00:06:40,567 --> 00:06:42,638
‐Y'all, we need
to get a move on. ‐(gasping)
152
00:06:42,705 --> 00:06:45,878
My panties are starting
to steam and not in a fun way.
153
00:06:45,944 --> 00:06:48,917
You, blue‐collar beer commercial
man, how much for the truck?
154
00:06:48,984 --> 00:06:51,756
Oh, I could never sell this
old girl. Part of the family.
155
00:06:51,823 --> 00:06:54,361
Don't worry, baby.
You're my ride‐or‐die.
156
00:06:54,428 --> 00:06:56,265
No sale. Sorry, kiddo.
157
00:06:56,332 --> 00:06:57,668
My name is Bryce, not "kiddo."
158
00:06:57,735 --> 00:06:59,806
And I'm not interested
in whatever weird,
159
00:06:59,872 --> 00:07:02,377
anthropomorphic bond
you have with your truck.
160
00:07:02,444 --> 00:07:04,448
Wow. Anthropomorphic?
161
00:07:04,515 --> 00:07:06,753
Let me guess. A word
you learned at the prep school
162
00:07:06,820 --> 00:07:09,024
your dad paid for by refusing
to offer the employees
163
00:07:09,091 --> 00:07:11,629
of whatever dumb company
he owns a living wage.
164
00:07:11,696 --> 00:07:14,502
And let me guess.
You got that judgmental attitude
165
00:07:14,569 --> 00:07:16,639
from an endless chorus
of people telling you
166
00:07:16,706 --> 00:07:20,113
that rich people are the source
of all your hardships?
167
00:07:20,179 --> 00:07:21,482
When you got that haircut,
168
00:07:21,549 --> 00:07:23,252
did you ask
for the Joran van der Sloot?
169
00:07:23,319 --> 00:07:25,056
When you got yours,
did you ask for
170
00:07:25,123 --> 00:07:28,028
the poor girl from Les Mis the
day after she sells her hair?
171
00:07:28,095 --> 00:07:29,665
‐Her name is Fantine.
‐I know her name.
172
00:07:29,732 --> 00:07:32,705
Well, unfortunately,
when it comes to this truck,
173
00:07:32,772 --> 00:07:35,309
I can't be swayed
by any dollar amount.
174
00:07:35,376 --> 00:07:38,784
Oh, my God! Yes! Deal!
175
00:07:38,850 --> 00:07:41,790
Wayne, no!
This is your truck. Look at her.
176
00:07:41,856 --> 00:07:44,294
Yeah, Wayne.
And we are not gonna indulge
177
00:07:44,361 --> 00:07:45,531
this spoiled little...
178
00:07:45,597 --> 00:07:47,568
‐Hey‐oh!
‐Oh, come on, Betty.
179
00:07:47,635 --> 00:07:50,306
No amount of money
could possibly justify...
180
00:07:50,373 --> 00:07:51,810
Boi‐oi‐oi‐oi‐oi‐oi‐oing!
181
00:07:51,876 --> 00:07:54,749
Pull it together.
This can't be... Ay‐ay‐ay‐ay!
182
00:07:54,816 --> 00:07:57,287
Okay, so we all agree
that this is a real
183
00:07:57,353 --> 00:08:00,460
hey‐ooh, boi‐oi‐oi‐oi‐oing,
homina‐homina‐homina,
184
00:08:00,527 --> 00:08:02,832
wee‐haa, wee‐haa number here?
185
00:08:02,898 --> 00:08:05,036
Yes, there's no question
it's a hot‐cha‐cha
186
00:08:05,102 --> 00:08:07,006
"I'll have what she's having"
number.
187
00:08:07,073 --> 00:08:08,275
But you love this truck.
188
00:08:08,342 --> 00:08:10,246
Yeah, no. What am I thinking?
189
00:08:10,313 --> 00:08:11,616
I'm not gonna sell
this old girl.
190
00:08:11,683 --> 00:08:13,185
Let me just see the check again.
191
00:08:13,252 --> 00:08:14,789
Booyah‐ka‐sha!
192
00:08:14,856 --> 00:08:19,364
Once again, I set the goal,
then made my dreams come true.
193
00:08:19,431 --> 00:08:21,569
(engine revving,
tires squealing)
194
00:08:24,609 --> 00:08:28,048
Ugh! I have had it up
to here with butt sweat.
195
00:08:28,115 --> 00:08:31,488
Sweat's already gross,
but when it drips off a butt?
196
00:08:31,556 --> 00:08:34,027
‐Unsubscribe.
‐Gross!
197
00:08:34,094 --> 00:08:35,196
You are so thoughtless!
198
00:08:35,263 --> 00:08:37,635
Take responsibility
and act like a damn adult!
199
00:08:37,701 --> 00:08:39,371
‐What?!
‐You wrecked my shirt.
200
00:08:39,437 --> 00:08:41,475
And I think
you need to apologize.
201
00:08:41,543 --> 00:08:43,479
You sound like my mom.
202
00:08:43,547 --> 00:08:45,817
You know what?
We should just call it.
203
00:08:46,451 --> 00:08:48,590
Fine! Friend break.
204
00:08:48,657 --> 00:08:50,794
Permanent friend break.
Shake on it.
205
00:08:54,969 --> 00:08:58,108
Psych! Former friends
don't shake hands.
206
00:08:58,175 --> 00:08:59,845
Ugh!
207
00:09:05,557 --> 00:09:07,761
Heat Wave Dick continues
with temperatures
208
00:09:07,828 --> 00:09:11,301
holding steady
in the upper 90s. MayKay?
209
00:09:11,368 --> 00:09:14,074
Oh! Big, I'm getting divebombed
210
00:09:14,140 --> 00:09:15,376
by super mosquitos!
211
00:09:15,443 --> 00:09:16,679
‐(groaning)
‐(buzzing)
212
00:09:16,746 --> 00:09:19,685
Excuse me.
Trying to get by. Beep, beep.
213
00:09:19,752 --> 00:09:21,288
Well, I'm trying
to take an order,
214
00:09:21,355 --> 00:09:24,662
so you're gonna have
to wait a minute. Toot, toot.
215
00:09:24,729 --> 00:09:26,465
These plates are really hot,
they're burning my hands.
216
00:09:26,532 --> 00:09:27,768
So move. Honk, honk.
217
00:09:27,835 --> 00:09:29,371
Well, you should have thought
about that
218
00:09:29,437 --> 00:09:30,774
before you grabbed them.
219
00:09:30,841 --> 00:09:34,715
Maybe take some personal
responsibility for your actions.
220
00:09:34,782 --> 00:09:36,653
So back it up.
221
00:09:36,719 --> 00:09:39,792
‐Meep. Meep. Meep.
‐Whoa, what's going on here?
222
00:09:39,859 --> 00:09:42,531
They used to be
like two peas in a pod.
223
00:09:42,598 --> 00:09:43,800
Oh, they had a huge blowout.
224
00:09:43,867 --> 00:09:45,269
Where the hell you been,
brother?
225
00:09:45,336 --> 00:09:46,506
I had a kidney stone,
226
00:09:46,572 --> 00:09:47,875
not that anyone asked.
227
00:09:47,941 --> 00:09:50,547
Well, that's my oversight,
and I do apologize.
228
00:09:50,614 --> 00:09:52,785
Shut up, you idiots!
229
00:09:55,289 --> 00:09:57,026
Brenda, what the hell?!
230
00:09:57,093 --> 00:10:01,636
It. Is. A. Heat. Wave. Jenny.
231
00:10:01,703 --> 00:10:03,807
We have a million customers
out there.
232
00:10:03,873 --> 00:10:06,512
Shouldn't be that hard
for Lady Two‐Arms
233
00:10:06,579 --> 00:10:10,721
and her miraculous sleeves
to handle.
234
00:10:18,803 --> 00:10:20,674
Why did I go all the way
to the end?
235
00:10:20,741 --> 00:10:22,578
I knew where it was going.
Self‐burn.
236
00:10:22,644 --> 00:10:23,880
TRAVIS:
Now, remember what I told you
237
00:10:23,947 --> 00:10:26,686
about buying a car.
Don't show emotion.
238
00:10:26,753 --> 00:10:28,355
Never let 'em know
how much you want it.
239
00:10:28,422 --> 00:10:30,092
Oh, my God!
240
00:10:31,461 --> 00:10:33,566
The new Dakota Thunder?!
241
00:10:33,633 --> 00:10:35,236
We want this one.
We'll pay anything!
242
00:10:35,302 --> 00:10:36,506
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
243
00:10:36,572 --> 00:10:40,547
Hi, Gina. Uh, I'm not sure
I need this much truck.
244
00:10:40,614 --> 00:10:42,518
(laughs)
That's funny.
245
00:10:42,584 --> 00:10:44,254
You're calling it a truck.
246
00:10:44,320 --> 00:10:45,456
Gentlemen,
247
00:10:45,524 --> 00:10:47,795
welcome to the Dakota Thunder
Lifestyle Platform.
248
00:10:47,861 --> 00:10:51,268
Strong enough to tow the
Freedom Tower up Mount Denali.
249
00:10:51,334 --> 00:10:52,604
Goose down headrests,
250
00:10:52,671 --> 00:10:54,975
leather from Kobe beef cows,
and, hey,
251
00:10:55,042 --> 00:10:56,546
you guys into tailgating?
252
00:10:56,612 --> 00:10:58,516
‐(alarm beeps)
‐(NFL theme playing)
253
00:10:59,484 --> 00:11:00,821
‐Oh!
‐Ah!
254
00:11:04,227 --> 00:11:06,899
‐Ay‐ay‐ay‐ay‐ay‐ay‐ay‐ay‐ay...!
‐Homina, homina, homina, homina.
255
00:11:06,966 --> 00:11:07,901
Sounds like a yes!
256
00:11:07,968 --> 00:11:09,805
We'll just do
a quick six hours of paperwork
257
00:11:09,872 --> 00:11:12,611
in a cramped office,
and you'll be on your way.
258
00:11:12,678 --> 00:11:14,782
‐(alarm beeps)
‐(confetti poppers whistle)
259
00:11:14,849 --> 00:11:17,688
You know, my old truck was
all broken‐in.
260
00:11:17,754 --> 00:11:18,923
Like, we got each other.
261
00:11:18,990 --> 00:11:21,929
But this truck, eh,
I don't know.
262
00:11:21,996 --> 00:11:24,033
Kind of feels like maybe she's
a little out of my league.
263
00:11:24,100 --> 00:11:26,505
Wayne,
this is the Dakota Thunder.
264
00:11:26,572 --> 00:11:27,708
Just point her
towards the sunset,
265
00:11:27,774 --> 00:11:29,678
and she'll take care
of the rest.
266
00:11:29,745 --> 00:11:31,348
Okay, just gonna...
267
00:11:31,414 --> 00:11:33,118
ease her off the lot here.
268
00:11:33,185 --> 00:11:34,387
(tires screech)
269
00:11:34,454 --> 00:11:35,924
(blinker clicking)
270
00:11:35,991 --> 00:11:38,428
Okay, looking good over here.
How's it looking over there?
271
00:11:38,495 --> 00:11:39,698
You got room for days over here.
272
00:11:39,765 --> 00:11:43,405
I know! Just let me check
one more time.
273
00:11:43,472 --> 00:11:44,875
And then back over here.
274
00:11:44,942 --> 00:11:47,046
All right, now‐now, am I getting
too close to that sign?
275
00:11:47,113 --> 00:11:49,952
‐You see that sign?
Am I too close to that sign? ‐Wayne.
276
00:11:50,019 --> 00:11:52,724
Looking pretty good on my side.
How's your side looking?
277
00:11:52,791 --> 00:11:54,995
Nothing but street.
All you, bro.
278
00:11:55,062 --> 00:11:56,999
WAYNE:
Whoa, whoa! Hold the phone!
279
00:11:57,066 --> 00:11:59,203
Yeah, got a pedestrian
over here.
280
00:11:59,270 --> 00:12:00,707
Man, she came out of nowhere.
281
00:12:00,774 --> 00:12:03,412
I think you got time
on that one, Wayne.
282
00:12:03,478 --> 00:12:06,786
(whooping and shouting)
283
00:12:10,392 --> 00:12:13,465
‐Whoa! Look at that truck!
‐That is one smooth truck, homes!
284
00:12:13,533 --> 00:12:14,802
Come on, man!
285
00:12:14,868 --> 00:12:16,171
‐Let it rip!
‐(honking horn)
286
00:12:16,237 --> 00:12:17,306
Hmm.
287
00:12:17,373 --> 00:12:20,012
(beeping)
288
00:12:21,882 --> 00:12:24,688
WAYNE:
Ugh, gross.
289
00:12:24,755 --> 00:12:26,726
Hang on, y'all.
I'm gonna get her dirty.
290
00:12:26,792 --> 00:12:28,095
I'm gonna get her all messed up.
291
00:12:28,161 --> 00:12:30,600
I saw some better mud
over there.
292
00:12:30,667 --> 00:12:33,071
(back‐up indicator beeping)
293
00:12:36,044 --> 00:12:39,250
‐(tires screech)
‐(beeping)
294
00:12:40,085 --> 00:12:42,289
Whoo‐hoo!
We're mudding, y'all!
295
00:12:42,356 --> 00:12:44,227
‐(Wayne chuckles)
‐Dang, dawg.
296
00:12:44,293 --> 00:12:48,503
He went from Haul Force One
to Haul Force None.
297
00:12:48,569 --> 00:12:49,705
(beeping)
298
00:12:49,772 --> 00:12:51,441
(gasps)
299
00:12:53,713 --> 00:12:55,049
Doo, doo‐doo‐doo.
300
00:12:55,115 --> 00:12:57,954
Jenny, thank you so much
for inviting me out.
301
00:12:58,021 --> 00:13:01,996
I have been dying to slum it
in this skeezy dive bar.
302
00:13:02,063 --> 00:13:03,900
Louise, this is
a chain restaurant.
303
00:13:03,966 --> 00:13:05,269
There's a kids' play area.
304
00:13:05,335 --> 00:13:07,473
I feel like I'm
in a Goodfellas
305
00:13:07,541 --> 00:13:09,978
‐Why don't you put another shot
in this one? ‐So, Jenny,
306
00:13:10,045 --> 00:13:12,517
since I'm now
in your friend zone,
307
00:13:12,584 --> 00:13:14,888
let's do some girlfriend gossip.
308
00:13:14,955 --> 00:13:16,191
I heard you
and Brenda are having
309
00:13:16,257 --> 00:13:19,297
a little squabbledy‐doodly‐
doo‐doo‐doo‐doo.
310
00:13:19,363 --> 00:13:20,700
Louise, I don't really want
to talk about Brenda
311
00:13:20,767 --> 00:13:22,036
if that's okay.
312
00:13:22,103 --> 00:13:24,140
I don't know how you
put up with it, Jenny.
313
00:13:24,207 --> 00:13:26,846
Brenda's just one set
of paperwork away
314
00:13:26,912 --> 00:13:29,050
from the federal government
stepping in
315
00:13:29,117 --> 00:13:31,589
and declaring her
a public menace.
316
00:13:31,655 --> 00:13:34,728
Isn't it annoying,
constantly covering her tables
317
00:13:34,795 --> 00:13:38,201
'cause she's over picking out
wedgies by the soda fountain?
318
00:13:38,268 --> 00:13:40,607
She also ruined
a really nice shirt of mine.
319
00:13:40,673 --> 00:13:41,942
Of course she did.
320
00:13:42,009 --> 00:13:43,946
She probably busted out of it
like the Hulk.
321
00:13:44,013 --> 00:13:46,552
She takes naps
in your car, you know.
322
00:13:46,619 --> 00:13:47,821
That beast!
323
00:13:47,888 --> 00:13:50,159
I wondered why it smelled
like cereal farts.
324
00:13:50,225 --> 00:13:53,231
And she owes you
for that shirt, Jenny.
325
00:13:53,298 --> 00:13:54,835
She won't even apologize!
326
00:13:54,902 --> 00:13:57,439
Ugh. She is a wild animal.
327
00:13:57,507 --> 00:13:59,611
A silly ole crazy lady.
328
00:13:59,678 --> 00:14:01,047
Lock her up.
329
00:14:01,114 --> 00:14:02,918
I'm being fun.
330
00:14:03,686 --> 00:14:04,621
LOUISE:
Jenny,
331
00:14:04,688 --> 00:14:06,057
so fun last night,
332
00:14:06,124 --> 00:14:09,831
dishing and gabbing
and having a dang ole kiki.
333
00:14:09,898 --> 00:14:11,669
Oh, yeah,
but I shouldn't have said
334
00:14:11,735 --> 00:14:13,038
all that stuff about Brenda.
335
00:14:13,104 --> 00:14:16,377
Okay, put a little ole pin
in that, Jenny.
336
00:14:16,444 --> 00:14:17,213
Brenda, you're fired.
337
00:14:17,279 --> 00:14:18,348
‐Wait. What?
‐The hell?
338
00:14:18,415 --> 00:14:19,751
No, no, no, wait.
Hang on, Louise.
339
00:14:19,818 --> 00:14:21,321
You're always late.
340
00:14:21,387 --> 00:14:22,289
You steal food,
341
00:14:22,356 --> 00:14:24,493
and you sleep
in my four‐door Lexus sedan
342
00:14:24,561 --> 00:14:27,032
on a bed of cereal gas.
343
00:14:27,099 --> 00:14:29,538
Screw you, Bene‐dick Arnold!
344
00:14:29,605 --> 00:14:32,443
‐Ugh. Brenda, wait!
‐(entry bell chimes)
345
00:14:32,510 --> 00:14:36,451
So, Jenny. What's
on tonight's fungenda?
346
00:14:36,518 --> 00:14:37,988
(gasps)
347
00:14:38,623 --> 00:14:40,459
Hold that thought, girlfriend.
348
00:14:40,526 --> 00:14:43,098
There's a bunch of glass
in my hair.
349
00:14:48,141 --> 00:14:52,016
Well, news flash:
it's still hot.
350
00:14:52,082 --> 00:14:53,719
They want you to fry this.
351
00:14:53,786 --> 00:14:55,455
Ew, what?
352
00:14:55,523 --> 00:14:57,527
Fry it on the sidewalk.
353
00:14:57,594 --> 00:15:00,065
(grunts)
354
00:15:03,338 --> 00:15:06,477
This is Brenda. I'm either
passed out or bonin',
355
00:15:06,545 --> 00:15:07,514
so leave a message.
356
00:15:07,580 --> 00:15:09,216
Hey. Listen, I'm so sorry.
357
00:15:09,283 --> 00:15:11,722
And I never meant
for this to happen.
358
00:15:11,789 --> 00:15:13,158
(fans whirring)
359
00:15:13,826 --> 00:15:15,697
(glass breaks)
360
00:15:15,763 --> 00:15:17,801
♪ ♪
361
00:15:17,867 --> 00:15:20,472
(speaking indistinctly)
362
00:15:20,540 --> 00:15:23,244
♪ ♪
363
00:15:24,881 --> 00:15:27,186
♪ Look around you ♪
364
00:15:27,252 --> 00:15:28,522
Ooh...
365
00:15:28,589 --> 00:15:30,392
I'm gonna order
a giant juicy steak
366
00:15:30,459 --> 00:15:32,964
‐with a big ole pad
of butter on top. ‐No.
367
00:15:33,031 --> 00:15:35,302
You should have a salad.
It's way healthier, Wayne.
368
00:15:35,369 --> 00:15:38,174
Oh, my parents are expecting us
at the country club tomorrow.
369
00:15:38,241 --> 00:15:40,312
(echoing):
They're announcing our engagement.
370
00:15:40,379 --> 00:15:42,584
(truck speaking indistinctly)
371
00:15:42,650 --> 00:15:45,723
♪ Look around ♪
372
00:15:45,790 --> 00:15:47,827
Are you even listening to me?
373
00:15:47,894 --> 00:15:48,963
(sighs) I'm sorry.
374
00:15:49,029 --> 00:15:50,867
I tried to make it work, but...
375
00:15:50,933 --> 00:15:52,837
there's another truck
who has my heart.
376
00:15:52,904 --> 00:15:54,140
You bastard!
377
00:15:54,206 --> 00:15:55,510
I can't pretend
I didn't see this coming.
378
00:15:55,576 --> 00:15:58,281
But at least one of us
should be happy.
379
00:15:58,348 --> 00:16:00,085
Go to her. Go to your...
380
00:16:00,152 --> 00:16:02,289
♪ So, lady ♪
381
00:16:02,356 --> 00:16:04,961
♪ Let me take a look
at you now ♪
382
00:16:05,028 --> 00:16:06,330
Oh, this baby's mine.
383
00:16:06,397 --> 00:16:07,834
And you'll never get her back.
384
00:16:07,901 --> 00:16:09,270
Not when the floor is lava.
385
00:16:09,336 --> 00:16:11,909
♪ You're there
on the dance floor ♪
386
00:16:11,975 --> 00:16:16,652
♪ Making me want you somehow. ♪
387
00:16:16,718 --> 00:16:19,558
No! No!
388
00:16:19,624 --> 00:16:20,793
(gasps) Lady!
389
00:16:20,860 --> 00:16:22,997
Fingers! God,
it's broiling in here.
390
00:16:23,064 --> 00:16:24,668
I was dreaming about my truck.
391
00:16:24,734 --> 00:16:26,237
Yeah, you love that truck.
392
00:16:26,304 --> 00:16:27,874
You should never have gotten rid
of that truck.
393
00:16:27,941 --> 00:16:30,378
Yeah, well, you never should
have gotten rid of Brenda.
394
00:16:30,445 --> 00:16:32,684
Man, I can't believe
y'all aren't talking.
395
00:16:32,750 --> 00:16:33,953
I tried.
396
00:16:34,019 --> 00:16:35,823
Well, maybe you didn't try
hard enough.
397
00:16:35,890 --> 00:16:37,894
'Cause I'm gonna get
my truck back.
398
00:16:37,961 --> 00:16:39,664
Wait, what was
your dream about?
399
00:16:39,731 --> 00:16:42,102
Fancy cookies.
400
00:16:43,137 --> 00:16:45,977
Violet, I got to get
my old truck back.
401
00:16:46,043 --> 00:16:47,412
I miss her something terrible.
402
00:16:47,479 --> 00:16:49,751
I hate to say I told you so,
403
00:16:49,818 --> 00:16:51,688
so I'll do it telepathically.
404
00:16:51,755 --> 00:16:54,126
(buzzing)
405
00:16:54,193 --> 00:16:56,197
I'm searching your mind
for who told you so.
406
00:16:56,264 --> 00:16:57,734
(gasps)
I found it. It's me.
407
00:16:57,800 --> 00:16:59,871
Just help me figure out
how to get my truck back.
408
00:16:59,938 --> 00:17:01,173
Well, it won't be easy.
409
00:17:01,240 --> 00:17:03,311
No one's ever said no
to that kid.
410
00:17:03,378 --> 00:17:05,683
The only reason
he even wanted my truck is
411
00:17:05,750 --> 00:17:08,756
'cause he saw it
in that stupid, awesome movie.
412
00:17:08,822 --> 00:17:10,091
Ap‐ap‐ap‐ap‐ap‐ap‐ap!
413
00:17:10,158 --> 00:17:12,564
I'm generating an idea.
I need absolute silence.
414
00:17:12,630 --> 00:17:13,632
Yes, I got it.
415
00:17:13,699 --> 00:17:15,736
All he wants is to have
the hottest thing
416
00:17:15,803 --> 00:17:17,105
before anyone else does.
417
00:17:17,172 --> 00:17:19,276
And I think
we can serve it up to him.
418
00:17:19,343 --> 00:17:22,082
Also, I told you so.
419
00:17:31,868 --> 00:17:33,706
"Love, Jenny."
420
00:17:33,772 --> 00:17:35,342
(sighs) Dang.
421
00:17:35,408 --> 00:17:38,147
She really does take
good care of me.
422
00:17:40,620 --> 00:17:42,322
Oh, yeah!
423
00:17:43,959 --> 00:17:45,563
(sighs)
424
00:17:46,565 --> 00:17:48,936
Got the Christopher Nolan
Batmobile over there.
425
00:17:49,003 --> 00:17:51,575
The mail truck from
You've Got Mail, of course.
426
00:17:51,642 --> 00:17:54,714
‐And over there is...
‐Hold on. What's that?
427
00:17:55,583 --> 00:17:59,724
Is that the Jag hearsefrom Harold and Maude?
428
00:17:59,791 --> 00:18:01,762
Oh, yeah. I'm surprised
you recognized it.
429
00:18:01,828 --> 00:18:03,565
Harold and Maude is
my favorite movie.
430
00:18:03,632 --> 00:18:06,270
‐Harold and Maude is
my favorite movie. ‐Why?
431
00:18:06,337 --> 00:18:09,276
Because it's about a rich kid
who gets everything he wants?
432
00:18:09,343 --> 00:18:12,349
No. It's because Harold rails
against societal norms
433
00:18:12,416 --> 00:18:15,055
and lives to torture
his insane mom.
434
00:18:15,121 --> 00:18:18,094
Okay, great.
You're a genius, I guess.
435
00:18:18,161 --> 00:18:19,798
Now, let's get down to business.
436
00:18:19,864 --> 00:18:21,467
Yes, let's. I'm very curious
437
00:18:21,535 --> 00:18:23,171
as to what kind of "opportunity"
438
00:18:23,237 --> 00:18:26,143
that you,
a poor, have for me.
439
00:18:26,210 --> 00:18:27,814
Oh, just a little private
meet and greet
440
00:18:27,880 --> 00:18:29,751
‐with the star of the upcoming
Haul Force sequel. ‐(gasps)
441
00:18:29,818 --> 00:18:33,124
Haul Force Two: Space Haul.
442
00:18:33,191 --> 00:18:35,629
Homina, homina, homina.
(stammers) How, how, how?
443
00:18:35,696 --> 00:18:36,765
How is this possible?
444
00:18:36,832 --> 00:18:38,736
Have you seen the movie?
What's the catchphrase?
445
00:18:39,738 --> 00:18:43,077
Uh... Houston, we...
446
00:18:43,144 --> 00:18:46,685
Do not have a problem,
because...
447
00:18:46,752 --> 00:18:48,488
We have a truck?
448
00:18:48,555 --> 00:18:49,289
In space.
449
00:18:49,356 --> 00:18:51,460
"Houston,
we don't have a problem
450
00:18:51,528 --> 00:18:54,433
because we have
a truck in space"?
451
00:18:54,500 --> 00:18:57,540
Oh, I friggin' love that!
452
00:18:57,607 --> 00:19:00,679
This franchise is so dumb
that it might actually be
453
00:19:00,746 --> 00:19:03,084
a brilliant surrealist
masterpiece.
454
00:19:03,151 --> 00:19:05,355
That's exactly what you said
about it, Violet.
455
00:19:05,421 --> 00:19:07,292
Shut up. No, I didn't.
This is boring.
456
00:19:07,359 --> 00:19:09,931
Okay, I need this truck.
Name your price.
457
00:19:09,998 --> 00:19:12,269
Ten million dollars.
458
00:19:12,335 --> 00:19:14,306
Or how about just an even trade?
459
00:19:14,373 --> 00:19:16,410
Haul Force One
for Haul Force Two.
460
00:19:16,477 --> 00:19:18,682
Wait. I think we can do better
than that.
461
00:19:18,749 --> 00:19:20,451
How about Wayne's truck
462
00:19:20,519 --> 00:19:22,489
plus $651?
463
00:19:23,124 --> 00:19:26,197
Best $651 ever spent.
464
00:19:26,263 --> 00:19:28,301
This AC feels good.
465
00:19:28,367 --> 00:19:30,840
Oh, sweet,
sweet air conditioning.
466
00:19:30,906 --> 00:19:32,175
This feels so good,
467
00:19:32,242 --> 00:19:33,812
I don't even care
what Gram's doing right now.
468
00:19:33,879 --> 00:19:35,850
I'm freezing my bra.
469
00:19:35,916 --> 00:19:38,120
My underboobs are overheating.
470
00:19:38,187 --> 00:19:40,659
Let's get some mud
on this thing.
471
00:19:41,795 --> 00:19:43,064
What do you say, baby?
472
00:19:43,130 --> 00:19:44,701
(engine revs)
473
00:19:45,936 --> 00:19:48,508
(cheering, whooping)
474
00:19:52,182 --> 00:19:55,355
♪ ♪
475
00:20:04,406 --> 00:20:08,180
Jenny, I was sitting there,
thinking I don't need you.
476
00:20:08,247 --> 00:20:11,153
Then I realized you remind me
to wear pants
477
00:20:11,220 --> 00:20:12,455
and eat green things
478
00:20:12,523 --> 00:20:15,094
and stop sending nudes
all willy‐nilly.
479
00:20:15,161 --> 00:20:17,198
You totally keep me alive.
480
00:20:17,265 --> 00:20:19,236
Well, I love you being alive.
481
00:20:19,303 --> 00:20:20,806
I got something for you.
482
00:20:20,873 --> 00:20:21,975
(gasps)
483
00:20:22,042 --> 00:20:23,210
I fixed it.
484
00:20:23,277 --> 00:20:25,649
‐Aw...
‐Look on the back.
485
00:20:26,350 --> 00:20:27,954
It's completely unwearable.
486
00:20:28,020 --> 00:20:29,089
It's perfect.
487
00:20:29,156 --> 00:20:30,491
(grunts) Come on.
488
00:20:30,559 --> 00:20:31,962
We're gonna get
your job back.
489
00:20:32,028 --> 00:20:33,932
(entry bell chimes)
490
00:20:33,999 --> 00:20:35,134
Brenda, you're rehired.
491
00:20:35,201 --> 00:20:37,105
‐What?
‐What made you change your mind?
492
00:20:37,172 --> 00:20:38,775
They did.
493
00:20:38,842 --> 00:20:40,411
(hissing)
494
00:20:40,478 --> 00:20:42,215
Brenda's the only one here
495
00:20:42,282 --> 00:20:44,353
who can deal
with the possum problem.
496
00:20:44,419 --> 00:20:46,490
Oh, hell yeah. I got this.
497
00:20:46,558 --> 00:20:49,029
Why does she always have
to take her top off?
498
00:20:49,096 --> 00:20:50,866
She has to become one of them.
499
00:20:50,933 --> 00:20:52,536
Possum party!
500
00:20:52,603 --> 00:20:54,640
‐(hissing)
‐(clattering) ‐Yeah! (groans)
501
00:20:58,615 --> 00:21:01,621
♪ Well, if you want to sing out,
sing out ♪
502
00:21:01,688 --> 00:21:04,393
♪ And if you want to be free,
be free ♪
503
00:21:04,459 --> 00:21:08,200
♪ 'Cause there's
a million things to be ♪
504
00:21:08,267 --> 00:21:11,473
♪ You know that there are ♪
505
00:21:12,543 --> 00:21:15,248
♪ And if you want to live high,
live high... ♪
506
00:21:15,314 --> 00:21:17,118
You look good in the...
507
00:21:17,185 --> 00:21:18,487
Uh‐uh.
508
00:21:18,555 --> 00:21:20,091
If you want to come in,
we could watch the...
509
00:21:20,158 --> 00:21:23,164
Shut up. You're not cool enough
to talk to me yet.
510
00:21:23,230 --> 00:21:25,702
♪ You know that there are ♪
511
00:21:28,140 --> 00:21:30,311
♪ You can do what you want. ♪
512
00:21:30,378 --> 00:21:32,082
‐(meows)
‐(horn honks musically)
513
00:21:32,132 --> 00:21:36,682
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