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1
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Sue, no, no, no!
2
00:02:00,879 --> 00:02:03,253
Kill yourself on your own time.
3
00:02:39,834 --> 00:02:42,208
According to the Art of War by Sun Tzu,
4
00:02:42,458 --> 00:02:45,458
every battle is won and lost before it is fought.
5
00:02:45,625 --> 00:02:47,541
Well, then I guess you've already lost.
6
00:02:50,958 --> 00:02:54,207
Oh, that's not very sportsmanlike.
Let's fucking go!
7
00:03:20,413 --> 00:03:23,205
Ladies.
Hi again.
8
00:03:23,246 --> 00:03:25,080
Ok, this is the third time we've been out here.
9
00:03:24,997 --> 00:03:25,788
I know.
10
00:03:25,496 --> 00:03:26,705
We're shutting this party down.
11
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You don't wanna shut the party down.
You wanna join us.
12
00:03:29,329 --> 00:03:29,955
Alright?
13
00:03:29,913 --> 00:03:31,538
So why don't you put the guns back in the car
14
00:03:31,538 --> 00:03:33,204
and you come on in, and having good times?
15
00:03:33,371 --> 00:03:34,454
Hey, Bill.
16
00:03:34,454 --> 00:03:35,579
Sorry I'm late, buddy.
17
00:03:35,746 --> 00:03:36,662
Fucking Map Quest.
18
00:03:36,662 --> 00:03:37,620
I know it, bro.
19
00:03:37,787 --> 00:03:40,495
I'm right with you with that shit.
Hey look, guys.
20
00:03:40,662 --> 00:03:44,119
Is this about earlier? When you first came on,
and I thought you were strippers?
21
00:03:44,286 --> 00:03:45,912
Because that was an accident.
22
00:03:45,912 --> 00:03:47,578
Alright? You're just very attractive.
23
00:03:47,745 --> 00:03:49,037
Those uniforms are banging.
24
00:03:49,202 --> 00:03:52,494
Seriously, if we have to come out here again,
it's a $1000 fine.
25
00:03:52,661 --> 00:03:53,661
Close it down.
26
00:03:53,661 --> 00:03:54,661
Okay.
27
00:03:54,828 --> 00:03:56,036
Message received.
28
00:03:56,202 --> 00:03:57,535
It's done.
You have my word.
29
00:03:57,702 --> 00:04:00,202
I'm gonna go inside,
get on the mike, shut it down.
30
00:04:17,158 --> 00:04:19,659
I don't understand why you won't just put it on.
31
00:04:19,784 --> 00:04:21,909
Because I don't find the notion of mocking
32
00:04:22,116 --> 00:04:24,825
the American underclass as amusing as your friends do,
33
00:04:24,992 --> 00:04:27,658
and partly because I don't share your desperate need to fit in.
34
00:04:27,825 --> 00:04:30,741
By not putting the wig on,
you are deliberately setting yourself
35
00:04:30,908 --> 00:04:32,282
and me apart from my friends,
36
00:04:32,449 --> 00:04:35,240
which is a controlling and hostile gesture.
37
00:04:35,407 --> 00:04:36,824
Fine.
38
00:04:40,824 --> 00:04:41,448
Happy now?
39
00:04:41,323 --> 00:04:41,949
Yes!
40
00:04:41,907 --> 00:04:43,074
Now I'm Mr. Fun Times.
41
00:04:42,699 --> 00:04:44,490
I'm very happy about that. Thank you.
42
00:04:44,532 --> 00:04:45,657
I'm going for a smoke.
43
00:04:45,240 --> 00:04:48,156
Good, because it's.. it's a fucking costume party.
44
00:04:51,197 --> 00:04:53,739
Do we need to talk quietly around her?
45
00:04:53,823 --> 00:04:56,322
Oh, no, no, no.
She sleeps through anything.
46
00:04:56,405 --> 00:04:57,906
Yes, you do.
47
00:04:58,031 --> 00:05:02,322
When the babysitter bailed, Glenn and I were like,
'Fuck it.' We have missed every party.
48
00:05:02,405 --> 00:05:04,488
No way we're missing the White Trash Bash.
49
00:05:04,572 --> 00:05:08,196
Give it up for Glenn.
Glenn's getting married soon.
50
00:05:08,279 --> 00:05:10,613
I really did it.
51
00:05:12,237 --> 00:05:14,404
What's the deal with your bachelorette weekend?
52
00:05:14,195 --> 00:05:14,904
Yeah!
53
00:05:15,195 --> 00:05:15,946
Ok, I think it's gonna be
54
00:05:16,029 --> 00:05:17,988
more of a bachelorette night.
55
00:05:18,279 --> 00:05:21,987
And it's gonna be at my folks' place in Jersey.
56
00:05:22,445 --> 00:05:23,695
Oh.
57
00:05:24,195 --> 00:05:24,695
Sorry.
58
00:05:24,945 --> 00:05:27,403
No! That's gonna be fine.
That's totally fine.
59
00:05:27,611 --> 00:05:28,945
Has anyone seen Glenn?
60
00:05:29,028 --> 00:05:31,695
Human torpedo!
61
00:05:43,777 --> 00:05:45,985
It's okay.
He's a doctor.
62
00:05:50,359 --> 00:05:52,276
Hey, buttheads,
you guys seen Duquez?
63
00:05:52,359 --> 00:05:54,317
Will you relax with the doughnuts?
64
00:05:54,401 --> 00:05:58,567
Oh, sweetie, I want to. Look, I'm trying to push
the savory on this people and all they want is the sweet.
65
00:05:58,651 --> 00:05:59,984
I promise you no one cares.
66
00:06:00,068 --> 00:06:02,400
Hey.
Where the fuck are the doughnuts?
67
00:06:02,734 --> 00:06:03,900
Except him.
68
00:06:04,150 --> 00:06:06,316
Guess what. D.Duquez is AWOL.
69
00:06:06,400 --> 00:06:07,108
That is unacceptable.
70
00:06:07,108 --> 00:06:09,566
This fucking behaviour is unacceptable.
I got have it out with that guy.
71
00:06:09,983 --> 00:06:11,733
Like the doughnut police.
72
00:06:11,816 --> 00:06:14,399
Hey, get off of that thing.
It's Saturday night.
73
00:06:14,482 --> 00:06:18,066
Well, it's Sunday in Korea,
and those motherfuckers don't stop working.
74
00:06:18,148 --> 00:06:20,482
Honestly, they make the Japanese look like Jamaicans.
75
00:06:20,565 --> 00:06:22,148
Is that the new Blackberry?
76
00:06:22,148 --> 00:06:23,774
Yes, it is new Blackberry. Got it at the office.
77
00:06:23,857 --> 00:06:27,065
You know what? As punishment for not dressing up,
I'm putting this down my pants.
78
00:06:27,148 --> 00:06:29,148
No, no, no!
Just don't do that!
79
00:06:29,231 --> 00:06:30,773
My dick's checking your e-mail.
80
00:06:30,856 --> 00:06:31,356
I'm sending a text.
81
00:06:31,356 --> 00:06:32,065
No, just don't do that!
82
00:06:32,689 --> 00:06:35,564
You have my life in your pants.
You cocksucker.
83
00:06:43,563 --> 00:06:46,647
Hey, you two,
get a room or get a video camera.
84
00:06:48,897 --> 00:06:50,605
Hello.
Excuse me, miss.
85
00:06:50,688 --> 00:06:53,354
My name is Eric. This is my house.
My party, sort of.
86
00:06:53,438 --> 00:06:56,729
See, you're looking at a bunch different of options.
But, this is the one you want go for it..
87
00:06:56,813 --> 00:06:59,354
This is the finest box of wine in the county.
88
00:06:59,437 --> 00:07:00,063
Really?
89
00:07:00,063 --> 00:07:00,687
Yes, delicious
90
00:07:00,771 --> 00:07:04,812
It has absolutely no body and an
amazing cough-syrupy aftertaste.
91
00:07:04,895 --> 00:07:05,395
Go ahead.
92
00:07:05,562 --> 00:07:06,062
Cheers.
93
00:07:06,228 --> 00:07:09,020
Knock it up! Don't get it on your skin.
All right?
94
00:07:11,144 --> 00:07:12,269
Not bad, right?
95
00:07:12,269 --> 00:07:12,978
Mmm. Really good wine.
96
00:07:14,769 --> 00:07:15,603
Even better bean dip.
97
00:07:15,603 --> 00:07:16,352
That's not bean dip!
98
00:07:16,352 --> 00:07:17,644
What?!
99
00:07:17,727 --> 00:07:18,519
I'm kidding.
100
00:07:18,561 --> 00:07:20,477
You knew that.
That's awesome.
101
00:07:20,560 --> 00:07:21,685
You're only the first person to actually eat out of that.
102
00:07:22,185 --> 00:07:24,894
Yeah, not many people are thrilled about eating out of a shitter.
103
00:07:25,769 --> 00:07:26,060
Really?
104
00:07:27,060 --> 00:07:28,768
Couse in prison, we used our crapper as a punchbowl.
105
00:07:29,184 --> 00:07:30,643
Really?
No kidding?
106
00:07:30,726 --> 00:07:33,309
I have never seen you at one of these things.
I'm i wrong?
107
00:07:33,392 --> 00:07:34,100
First time.
108
00:07:34,351 --> 00:07:35,392
Really? We'll have to change that.
109
00:07:35,601 --> 00:07:37,309
We do these kind of things all the time. You know..
110
00:07:38,100 --> 00:07:40,434
Labor Day. We're gonna have a big Winter Wonderland party.
111
00:07:40,392 --> 00:07:41,142
It's gonna be nice.
112
00:07:41,934 --> 00:07:42,725
It's gonna be.. Snow machine..
113
00:07:42,809 --> 00:07:44,975
Gonna be sledding.
Should be interesting.
114
00:07:45,059 --> 00:07:46,975
You should give me your information.
115
00:07:47,059 --> 00:07:47,642
What?
116
00:07:47,642 --> 00:07:48,266
"Information"?
117
00:07:48,350 --> 00:07:48,975
Are you kidding me?
118
00:07:48,975 --> 00:07:49,641
No.
119
00:07:49,725 --> 00:07:50,266
Really?
120
00:07:50,266 --> 00:07:50,850
Yes.
121
00:07:50,933 --> 00:07:52,141
Yes, like what?
122
00:07:52,224 --> 00:07:54,641
Like my social security number,
my college GPA?
123
00:07:54,724 --> 00:07:58,058
Why don't we shirt with your
phone number and your shoe size?
124
00:08:00,849 --> 00:08:02,265
I happen to have a pen.
125
00:08:02,765 --> 00:08:04,181
Of course you have a pen.
126
00:08:03,765 --> 00:08:06,473
You gotta be ready.
Always be prepared.
127
00:08:06,557 --> 00:08:07,765
What?
128
00:08:07,848 --> 00:08:08,890
On my baby.
129
00:08:08,890 --> 00:08:09,932
Look at that.
130
00:08:10,015 --> 00:08:13,181
Oh, I'm so jealous of this baby.
I'm so jealous.
131
00:08:13,264 --> 00:08:16,848
Oh, you wanna get out,
I wanna get in there. I'm kidding.
132
00:08:16,931 --> 00:08:18,681
Kelly, local number?
133
00:08:18,764 --> 00:08:19,889
Local girl.
134
00:08:19,973 --> 00:08:21,138
You kidding me?
135
00:08:21,222 --> 00:08:22,764
Size 9 shoe.
136
00:08:22,847 --> 00:08:25,388
You know what they say.
'Big shoe, big uterus.'
137
00:08:26,722 --> 00:08:28,763
I'll bring friends.
Real sorry.
138
00:08:28,847 --> 00:08:31,471
If you excuse me,
I see an old friend just showed up.
139
00:08:31,555 --> 00:08:32,721
I'll talk to you liner
140
00:08:32,805 --> 00:08:34,387
Okay.
It's very nice meeting you.
141
00:08:34,471 --> 00:08:36,013
Nice to meet you too.
Hey, fucko.
142
00:08:36,096 --> 00:08:37,637
Excuse me.
143
00:08:38,762 --> 00:08:40,762
I'm really mad, actually.
144
00:08:39,846 --> 00:08:40,846
What's wrong with this guy?
145
00:08:40,846 --> 00:08:41,887
Bye, guys.
146
00:08:41,971 --> 00:08:43,387
Daddy's gotta go home.
147
00:08:43,470 --> 00:08:45,762
One more for the road.
Shotgun!
148
00:08:47,345 --> 00:08:47,929
Michael!
149
00:08:48,428 --> 00:08:49,636
I wasn't ready. Throw me another.
150
00:08:49,136 --> 00:08:49,845
Nice, asshole!
151
00:08:50,178 --> 00:08:51,219
You're supposed to catch that.
152
00:08:51,303 --> 00:08:52,761
Come on, baby, we're going.
153
00:08:52,845 --> 00:08:53,428
Bye, guys.
154
00:08:53,428 --> 00:08:54,011
Bye, Katie.
155
00:08:54,095 --> 00:08:55,886
I'm sorry if I got beer on your baby.
156
00:08:56,177 --> 00:08:57,761
You, you.
Where have you been?
157
00:08:57,844 --> 00:09:00,011
I'm sorry, man.
There was a fucking mess in the studio.
158
00:09:00,135 --> 00:09:02,135
There was this buzzing undertone
159
00:09:02,218 --> 00:09:04,719
that was bending me over and fucking me in the ass.
160
00:09:05,301 --> 00:09:07,385
I'm not seeing any doughnuts.
161
00:09:06,969 --> 00:09:09,010
You specifically said get the glazed.
162
00:09:09,134 --> 00:09:11,510
They didn't have glazed.
I tried. There was jelly.
163
00:09:11,635 --> 00:09:15,010
There was Boston cream.
Jelly, Boston cream.
164
00:09:15,093 --> 00:09:18,009
Eric, I have a whole package of ginger candies in my bag.
165
00:09:18,801 --> 00:09:20,384
Hi, Willow.
166
00:09:20,425 --> 00:09:22,509
Mmm, thank you.
But we're gonna be okay.
167
00:09:22,592 --> 00:09:24,508
I found you a big brown naked!
168
00:09:24,592 --> 00:09:26,592
I can't get it off!
I can't shake it off!
169
00:09:26,675 --> 00:09:29,383
Hey, everybody naked in the pool.
170
00:09:34,132 --> 00:09:36,132
Well, that's a half hour ahead of schedule.
171
00:09:37,924 --> 00:09:40,632
Yeah!
Anybody?
172
00:09:40,757 --> 00:09:42,257
Anybody?
173
00:09:42,340 --> 00:09:44,757
Oh, you all suck.
Chicken shit!
174
00:09:44,840 --> 00:09:47,215
Want me to go to Brent's?
Pick up Entenmann's?
175
00:09:47,215 --> 00:09:49,007
No, no, don't worry about it. It's allright.
176
00:09:49,007 --> 00:09:50,506
Right now, I'm gonna go jump in that pool
177
00:09:50,548 --> 00:09:52,590
because McCrudden is dying in there alone.
178
00:09:52,673 --> 00:09:55,840
That's what friends do.
See, they don't leave each other hanging.
179
00:09:55,923 --> 00:09:58,339
Where's your patriotism?
180
00:09:58,422 --> 00:09:59,506
My man.
181
00:09:59,631 --> 00:10:01,213
I got you.
182
00:10:03,589 --> 00:10:05,255
My fucking blackberry.
183
00:10:30,712 --> 00:10:32,253
Hey dad, what are you doing here?
184
00:10:32,378 --> 00:10:34,211
Uh, hmm.
185
00:10:34,294 --> 00:10:37,461
Oh, yeah, I own the place.
Cherie, this is my son, Eric.
186
00:10:37,544 --> 00:10:39,836
Hi.
He's told me all about you.
187
00:10:41,877 --> 00:10:43,002
Ah, yeah.
188
00:10:43,127 --> 00:10:45,377
Great party.
Thanks for letting us sleep it off.
189
00:10:45,502 --> 00:10:46,335
No problem.
190
00:10:47,335 --> 00:10:50,044
Hm. It must have been quite a fiesta.
191
00:10:50,168 --> 00:10:51,376
Oh, yeah,
I guess so.
192
00:10:51,501 --> 00:10:53,251
Did the best I could with the turds.
193
00:10:53,334 --> 00:10:55,126
I know you did, Bill.
194
00:10:55,126 --> 00:10:56,876
I wish you would have let me know you were coming out.
195
00:10:57,001 --> 00:10:59,125
Maybe we can throw someone down on a couch.
Or something like that.
196
00:10:59,209 --> 00:11:00,751
Ah, we're not staying.
197
00:11:00,834 --> 00:11:05,250
I just came out for the day to do a
meet-and-greet with the brokers.
198
00:11:05,375 --> 00:11:06,500
Brokers?
199
00:11:06,625 --> 00:11:08,500
You got the message, right?
200
00:11:08,583 --> 00:11:10,583
I saw that you called.
201
00:11:10,667 --> 00:11:12,750
I'm putting the house on the market.
202
00:11:13,666 --> 00:11:15,833
What?
Wait, you're selling our house?
203
00:11:16,916 --> 00:11:20,249
Ah, I'm hardly ever out here any more.
204
00:11:20,374 --> 00:11:22,874
It's time to unload.
205
00:11:22,999 --> 00:11:24,332
But hey,
what about me?
206
00:11:24,415 --> 00:11:28,498
I'm always out here.
My friends are always out here.
207
00:11:29,082 --> 00:11:30,915
So make me an offer.
208
00:11:33,957 --> 00:11:36,247
Dad, come on.
I don't ask you for anything.
209
00:11:36,331 --> 00:11:38,289
How about this?
We go get breakfast.
210
00:11:38,372 --> 00:11:40,039
We talk over the house situation.
211
00:11:39,664 --> 00:11:41,789
Maybe we all can chip in for utilities?
212
00:11:42,122 --> 00:11:44,081
Ah, I'm a little pressed for time, kiddo.
213
00:11:44,956 --> 00:11:48,955
We're gonna go play a quick nine and then got get back.
214
00:11:48,663 --> 00:11:50,413
Cherie's never played before.
215
00:11:50,538 --> 00:11:51,872
I'm so excited.
216
00:11:51,997 --> 00:11:53,580
Dad, this is fucking bullshit.
217
00:11:53,663 --> 00:11:56,746
I'll call you next week.
We'll do yoga.
218
00:12:07,995 --> 00:12:10,703
I've said it before and I'll say it again.
219
00:12:10,787 --> 00:12:13,453
Your dad is a selfish prick.
220
00:12:14,037 --> 00:12:16,078
Smoothie?
221
00:12:15,661 --> 00:12:17,786
It's gonna be sad not coming out here anymore.
222
00:12:17,870 --> 00:12:20,369
Me and Willy might not even be around next summer.
223
00:12:20,452 --> 00:12:22,869
The L.A. thing again?
Are you serious?
224
00:12:22,953 --> 00:12:25,036
You just moved into that place in Brooklyn.
225
00:12:25,118 --> 00:12:27,452
But Willow's doing really good with her acting career.
226
00:12:27,535 --> 00:12:30,326
She did that Pizza Hut Latin America commercial now.
227
00:12:30,410 --> 00:12:32,535
Ooh, deliciosa!
228
00:12:33,952 --> 00:12:36,701
Her dad is gonna hook me up with a job at a big law firm.
229
00:12:36,785 --> 00:12:38,076
Dude, what about the fucking album?
230
00:12:38,159 --> 00:12:40,242
I'll work on the album while I'm doing law things.
231
00:12:40,325 --> 00:12:41,534
Oh, yeah? Will you?
232
00:12:41,534 --> 00:12:42,742
You know what I'm excited about?
233
00:12:43,325 --> 00:12:46,283
Throwing one of these parties
in my one-bedroom apartment in New York city.
234
00:12:46,200 --> 00:12:47,575
That'll be fun, right?
235
00:12:47,367 --> 00:12:49,867
Maybe I can put, like, the food out on the fire escape.
236
00:12:50,450 --> 00:12:51,075
Eric.
237
00:12:50,575 --> 00:12:51,825
The band in the bathroom.
238
00:12:51,908 --> 00:12:53,324
I have to get more outlets though.
239
00:12:53,408 --> 00:12:55,783
I'll get a power strip.
Why not? I'll splurge.
240
00:12:56,699 --> 00:12:57,407
What?
241
00:12:57,157 --> 00:12:59,282
This is a major moment.
242
00:12:59,282 --> 00:13:01,282
It's okay to let the hurt in.
243
00:13:01,282 --> 00:13:05,282
To allow yourself to actually be present in a moment.
244
00:13:04,866 --> 00:13:07,991
Okay, thanks, doc.
You really make the moment more real
245
00:13:07,991 --> 00:13:10,490
by talking about how real the moment is in the middle.
246
00:13:10,573 --> 00:13:13,656
No, I understand.
You're probably feeling
247
00:13:13,740 --> 00:13:16,032
some anger and some misdirected frustra...
248
00:13:17,739 --> 00:13:18,781
Feel better now?
249
00:13:18,781 --> 00:13:19,823
A little bit, yeah.
250
00:13:20,031 --> 00:13:21,031
Dude, that was awesome.
251
00:13:21,531 --> 00:13:22,197
Oh, fuck!
252
00:13:23,530 --> 00:13:24,906
What about now?
253
00:13:24,739 --> 00:13:25,906
Oh, much better.
254
00:13:26,197 --> 00:13:27,905
Now I'm in the moment.
255
00:13:29,864 --> 00:13:32,030
I don't understand all the summer school things.
256
00:13:31,238 --> 00:13:33,947
Isn't the point of being a teacher
that you get summers off?
257
00:13:34,030 --> 00:13:37,279
Yeah, well, they pay us poop, so,
what am I gonna do, waitress?
258
00:13:37,362 --> 00:13:39,946
Oh, my God,
the big news.
259
00:13:40,487 --> 00:13:43,779
So the principal told me today
260
00:13:43,362 --> 00:13:48,862
that the friendship bracelets that the girls
are wearing are actually sex bracelets.
261
00:13:50,403 --> 00:13:52,445
I saw something about that on Oprah.
262
00:13:52,862 --> 00:13:55,111
Girls wear these different color bracelets
263
00:13:55,194 --> 00:13:58,110
and every color represents, like,
a sex thing.
264
00:13:58,194 --> 00:14:00,778
So if you tear off a girl's blue bracelet,
265
00:14:00,861 --> 00:14:02,777
that means she has to give you oral.
266
00:14:03,277 --> 00:14:05,235
What's a yellow bracelet?
267
00:14:04,736 --> 00:14:05,861
Uh, a hug.
268
00:14:06,027 --> 00:14:06,652
Aww. Oh, sweet.
269
00:14:06,652 --> 00:14:07,318
I know.
270
00:14:07,318 --> 00:14:09,735
What about purple?
271
00:14:09,735 --> 00:14:10,735
Teabagging?
272
00:14:12,652 --> 00:14:13,735
Really?
273
00:14:13,902 --> 00:14:15,860
Well, what is teabagging?
274
00:14:16,027 --> 00:14:17,068
Balls in mouth.
275
00:14:17,234 --> 00:14:18,860
Oh, no!
276
00:14:19,026 --> 00:14:21,734
Teabagging? What is with the kids today?
277
00:14:21,734 --> 00:14:24,734
Well, the blowjob is the new French kiss.
278
00:14:24,734 --> 00:14:26,692
Wow, we really missed the boat on that one.
279
00:14:26,859 --> 00:14:29,525
I feel like if we had had sex bracelets back then,
280
00:14:29,692 --> 00:14:31,275
no one would have torn mine off.
281
00:14:31,441 --> 00:14:33,650
No, no, no, sweetie.
282
00:14:33,817 --> 00:14:36,025
I would have torn off your BJ bracelet.
283
00:14:36,191 --> 00:14:38,816
You're just saying that,
but thanks, Eric.
284
00:14:38,983 --> 00:14:40,607
Thanks for letting me blow you.
285
00:14:40,774 --> 00:14:41,899
You're welcome.
286
00:14:41,899 --> 00:14:43,024
You're such a good friend.
287
00:14:47,357 --> 00:14:49,857
Hey, Dody.
288
00:14:53,024 --> 00:14:55,356
Hi. Can I help you?
289
00:14:55,523 --> 00:14:56,314
Are you Eric?
290
00:14:56,314 --> 00:14:57,147
Yes.
291
00:14:57,314 --> 00:14:59,314
Hi. We spoke on the phone.
292
00:14:59,481 --> 00:15:02,147
I'm Dody Henderson from the Henderson Realty Group.
293
00:15:02,314 --> 00:15:04,230
And this is my associate Kelly Tanner.
294
00:15:04,397 --> 00:15:06,814
Hi. How are you?
295
00:15:08,480 --> 00:15:09,563
No, thank you.
296
00:15:09,397 --> 00:15:10,480
Lame.
297
00:15:10,647 --> 00:15:11,647
Oh, I shouldn't.
298
00:15:12,980 --> 00:15:15,730
We can't wait to get your house sold.
299
00:15:15,897 --> 00:15:18,146
We need this place clean, clean, clean every day.
300
00:15:18,271 --> 00:15:19,813
Water the lawns,
skim the pool.
301
00:15:19,896 --> 00:15:24,229
You never know when buyers are
gonna stop by to say hi and buy, buy.
302
00:15:24,395 --> 00:15:26,187
Oh, B-U-Y!
Ha, ha!
303
00:15:26,353 --> 00:15:28,395
Whatever.
304
00:15:28,520 --> 00:15:32,478
Oh, and make sure the toilets
are clean enough to eat out of it.
305
00:15:32,645 --> 00:15:34,144
Yeah, whatever.
306
00:15:34,645 --> 00:15:37,436
Maybe I should sprinkle some
rose petals on the driveway every morning too.
307
00:15:37,603 --> 00:15:39,144
Just do what you can.
308
00:15:39,269 --> 00:15:39,978
Will do.
309
00:15:42,020 --> 00:15:45,310
What are the chances of maybe
selling this sometime after Labor Day?
310
00:15:46,102 --> 00:15:48,602
You wanna sell a summer home during the summer.
311
00:15:48,769 --> 00:15:49,977
That's kind of the point.
312
00:15:50,852 --> 00:15:52,893
So glad we're in business together.
313
00:15:53,019 --> 00:15:54,309
Om shanti.
314
00:15:55,101 --> 00:15:56,810
Om shanti it is.
315
00:16:00,226 --> 00:16:01,225
Vultures.
316
00:16:01,225 --> 00:16:01,893
Yeesh.
317
00:16:04,100 --> 00:16:06,642
It's light.
It's light.
318
00:16:06,767 --> 00:16:08,934
We should put it up more closer.
Like there?
319
00:16:09,100 --> 00:16:12,475
Oh, yeah.
That'll bring in all the right clientele.
320
00:16:21,516 --> 00:16:24,807
Listen. Have you given any more
thought to the final Labor Day blowout?
321
00:16:24,974 --> 00:16:26,140
I really don't know.
322
00:16:26,265 --> 00:16:28,682
I mean, obviously,
we got do something huge.
323
00:16:28,849 --> 00:16:31,140
But what do you do for a final blowout?
324
00:16:31,265 --> 00:16:33,890
Go out in a fucking blaze of glory.
Heads held high. You know what i'm sayin?
325
00:16:34,015 --> 00:16:34,681
I get it.
326
00:16:34,681 --> 00:16:35,473
Deserved it.
327
00:16:35,640 --> 00:16:37,389
Holy shit. Oh, shit.
Here we go. Bingo.
328
00:16:37,514 --> 00:16:38,222
What?
329
00:16:38,222 --> 00:16:39,389
I got the concept right here.
330
00:16:39,514 --> 00:16:40,973
Brown party...
331
00:16:41,514 --> 00:16:42,639
Brown party.- Brown party...
332
00:16:42,764 --> 00:16:44,931
Brown clothes,
brown food, brown drink,
333
00:16:45,098 --> 00:16:46,972
brown clown,
brown balloons,
334
00:16:46,972 --> 00:16:49,180
live music supplied by Jackson Browne.
335
00:16:50,889 --> 00:16:52,388
I don't know what you're thinking right now.
Is that good?
336
00:16:52,388 --> 00:16:53,847
It's fucking awful.
337
00:16:54,305 --> 00:16:56,972
Alright, take it easy.
I'm just spit balling headchief.
338
00:16:56,972 --> 00:16:58,888
It's not like you're throwing ideas my way.
339
00:16:59,013 --> 00:17:00,096
He spells with an E at the end.
340
00:17:00,096 --> 00:17:01,179
Doesn't matter.
341
00:17:01,346 --> 00:17:02,846
Holy shit.
We got a situation here.
342
00:17:04,137 --> 00:17:05,846
Oh, my fucking God.
343
00:17:06,512 --> 00:17:08,762
Dude, she's wearing a sex bracelet.
344
00:17:08,387 --> 00:17:09,762
Holy fuck,
she is.
345
00:17:09,887 --> 00:17:11,804
Oh, boy,
that's trouble.
346
00:17:11,804 --> 00:17:12,887
It's blue. It's blue.
347
00:17:13,511 --> 00:17:15,511
Sword swallower.
348
00:17:14,845 --> 00:17:16,845
Holy fuck man, when she reaches out for my cone
349
00:17:16,845 --> 00:17:17,720
I'm gonna snag that thing
350
00:17:17,886 --> 00:17:20,011
and it's deep-throat city all night long.
351
00:17:20,136 --> 00:17:21,469
No, no, no.
352
00:17:21,469 --> 00:17:23,803
Please don't do that. Don't. No, stop.
353
00:17:24,719 --> 00:17:26,427
Stop! Stop it
354
00:17:28,094 --> 00:17:31,094
I bet she unhinges her jaw like a
fucking python swallowing a rat.
355
00:17:30,927 --> 00:17:33,718
Um, do you guys know what you want?
356
00:17:34,134 --> 00:17:34,760
Yes, we do.
357
00:17:34,760 --> 00:17:36,259
Yeah. We got a pretty good idea.
358
00:17:36,384 --> 00:17:38,010
No, ice cream is what we're into.
359
00:17:41,010 --> 00:17:44,717
Do you think a girl like that looks at
us like we're a couple of old dudes?
360
00:17:44,884 --> 00:17:45,968
You know like the way we used to look at
361
00:17:45,968 --> 00:17:48,133
30-year-old guys back in high school and say,
362
00:17:48,258 --> 00:17:51,800
'Oh, man, look at that lame old guy hitting on Sue.'
363
00:17:51,800 --> 00:17:54,717
Ha, ha. Yeah, probably.
364
00:17:54,717 --> 00:17:55,591
Shit, I don't know though.
365
00:17:55,591 --> 00:17:57,424
Weren't 30-year-old guys a lot older back then
366
00:17:57,424 --> 00:17:59,132
with, like,
mustaches and jobs?
367
00:17:59,257 --> 00:18:01,466
Yeah It certainly seemed like it
368
00:18:02,841 --> 00:18:03,883
What?
369
00:18:04,008 --> 00:18:05,340
Fuck, dude, we're getting old.
370
00:18:05,340 --> 00:18:06,173
Bullshit. Come on.
371
00:18:06,340 --> 00:18:08,674
Seriously, I got a foot cramp the other day masturbating.
372
00:18:08,841 --> 00:18:10,298
What? Doesn't make sense.
373
00:18:10,298 --> 00:18:11,799
I swear to God. It happened.
374
00:18:11,965 --> 00:18:12,757
What about this,
375
00:18:12,757 --> 00:18:15,131
Do you think that girl and her
friends really have BJ orgy parties?
376
00:18:15,256 --> 00:18:16,090
Indubitably
377
00:18:16,090 --> 00:18:16,465
Really?
378
00:18:16,631 --> 00:18:18,631
Fucking 'A' man, Duquez is right.
We got fucking hosed.
379
00:18:18,756 --> 00:18:20,756
God dang.
380
00:18:21,756 --> 00:18:23,631
Hey, what about that?
381
00:18:23,756 --> 00:18:24,756
What about what?
382
00:18:24,881 --> 00:18:26,631
What about that for the final party?
383
00:18:26,964 --> 00:18:27,964
What?
384
00:18:27,964 --> 00:18:28,964
An orgy.
385
00:18:28,964 --> 00:18:30,047
An orgy?
386
00:18:30,047 --> 00:18:30,797
An orgy...
387
00:18:30,755 --> 00:18:31,755
You wanna have an fucking orgy?
388
00:18:31,755 --> 00:18:32,255
Yeah, why not?
389
00:18:32,380 --> 00:18:34,089
Get the fuck out of town.
It'll never happen.
390
00:18:34,255 --> 00:18:35,505
Why not?
391
00:18:35,630 --> 00:18:37,755
Because people don't have orgies,
you know?
392
00:18:37,880 --> 00:18:39,338
Oh, come on.
They used to.
393
00:18:39,504 --> 00:18:40,088
True.
394
00:18:40,088 --> 00:18:41,296
Yeah, think about it, dude.
395
00:18:41,462 --> 00:18:44,337
An orgy.
A good old-fashioned orgy.
396
00:18:44,838 --> 00:18:45,629
Wowie.
397
00:18:45,629 --> 00:18:47,170
That is a blaze of glory.
398
00:18:47,337 --> 00:18:50,295
Okay.
Now you know I hate naysayers, right?
399
00:18:50,462 --> 00:18:51,920
But I'm gonna have to say nay.
400
00:18:52,087 --> 00:18:52,754
Really?
401
00:18:52,754 --> 00:18:53,420
Really.
402
00:18:53,587 --> 00:18:55,169
Are you throwing down the gauntlet?
403
00:18:55,336 --> 00:18:57,253
Oops, what's that?
404
00:18:57,378 --> 00:18:59,711
It's on the ground as we speak.
405
00:19:01,586 --> 00:19:02,920
We're gonna have an orgy.
406
00:19:04,210 --> 00:19:05,794
We're gonna have an orgy.
407
00:19:05,961 --> 00:19:07,794
Oh, boy.
Here we go.
408
00:19:09,335 --> 00:19:11,377
Okay, guys,
I've been mulling it over and
409
00:19:11,502 --> 00:19:13,460
I have a concept for the final fiesta.
410
00:19:13,585 --> 00:19:14,501
All right.
411
00:19:14,501 --> 00:19:15,376
What is it?
412
00:19:15,501 --> 00:19:16,209
Whoo!
413
00:19:16,209 --> 00:19:16,877
Fiesta
414
00:19:17,002 --> 00:19:19,043
Allright, while this will be the most spectacular
415
00:19:19,209 --> 00:19:23,376
and insane party any of us have taken part of,
it's not gonna be a big thing.
416
00:19:23,501 --> 00:19:24,793
It's just gonna be us.
417
00:19:24,959 --> 00:19:25,959
It's gonna be small,
418
00:19:27,417 --> 00:19:28,001
intimate,
419
00:19:29,333 --> 00:19:30,125
special.
420
00:19:30,417 --> 00:19:32,001
Oh, I'll make lasagna.
421
00:19:32,417 --> 00:19:33,792
Yummy.
422
00:19:33,416 --> 00:19:34,792
Oh, yeah.
423
00:19:34,583 --> 00:19:35,875
We're gonna have an orgy.
424
00:19:39,750 --> 00:19:40,750
Who?
425
00:19:40,750 --> 00:19:41,749
Us.
426
00:19:43,000 --> 00:19:44,165
Where?
427
00:19:44,165 --> 00:19:45,749
Here, right here. Labor Day weekend.
428
00:19:45,874 --> 00:19:49,749
Us?
A naked sex orgy?
429
00:19:49,874 --> 00:19:51,165
You're kidding, right?
430
00:19:51,165 --> 00:19:52,415
No, I'm not. Why not us?
431
00:19:52,540 --> 00:19:54,373
People used to have them all the time.
432
00:19:54,498 --> 00:19:55,707
All the time.
433
00:19:55,873 --> 00:19:57,373
Yeah! What happened to our generation?
434
00:19:57,498 --> 00:19:58,414
What happened?
435
00:19:58,414 --> 00:19:59,748
I'll tell you exactly what happened.
436
00:19:59,873 --> 00:20:02,623
AIDS.
437
00:20:02,748 --> 00:20:04,372
AIDS hit right when we hit puberty.
438
00:20:04,372 --> 00:20:06,747
And it scared the shit out of all of us.
439
00:20:06,747 --> 00:20:10,705
It turned sex into this big,
frightening thing.
440
00:20:10,872 --> 00:20:12,205
He's right.
441
00:20:12,372 --> 00:20:16,039
Kids today are freaks,
our parents were freaks,
442
00:20:16,163 --> 00:20:17,788
we're a bunch of fucking pussies.
443
00:20:17,913 --> 00:20:19,246
We're the lamest generation.
444
00:20:19,246 --> 00:20:20,538
This is our chance.
445
00:20:20,663 --> 00:20:21,913
Our chance to do it right.
446
00:20:22,038 --> 00:20:24,080
Take back what's been taken from us.
447
00:20:24,080 --> 00:20:25,412
Isn't that from Goonies?
448
00:20:25,412 --> 00:20:26,746
Yeah, I'm paraphrasing Goonies, yes.
449
00:20:26,746 --> 00:20:28,038
Orgy.
450
00:20:28,038 --> 00:20:29,370
Orgy...
451
00:20:29,495 --> 00:20:33,328
Orgy.
452
00:20:33,495 --> 00:20:35,787
Duquez, come on my men.
You're into this, right?
453
00:20:35,912 --> 00:20:39,244
What?
No.
454
00:20:39,369 --> 00:20:42,369
We're all friends.
It would just be too weird.
455
00:20:42,494 --> 00:20:44,202
How do you know unless you try?
456
00:20:44,828 --> 00:20:46,036
Ew!
457
00:20:45,536 --> 00:20:48,036
Look, if we all went into this with an open mind,
458
00:20:48,869 --> 00:20:50,744
it could be amazing.
459
00:20:50,285 --> 00:20:53,493
In theory,
a noble call to arms.
460
00:20:53,618 --> 00:20:58,326
In practice,
I cannot imagine a more awkward
461
00:20:58,493 --> 00:21:00,493
and uncomfortably terrible evening.
462
00:21:00,618 --> 00:21:03,409
Oh, laugh, laugh,
laugh all you want.
463
00:21:03,576 --> 00:21:05,784
Seriously, don't you get it?
This is it,
464
00:21:05,951 --> 00:21:08,993
the final blowout,
and then the house is gone.
465
00:21:09,158 --> 00:21:10,784
People move away.
466
00:21:10,784 --> 00:21:12,450
Things change.
467
00:21:12,617 --> 00:21:15,034
We need to think outside of the box.
468
00:21:15,200 --> 00:21:18,116
And inside the box.
469
00:21:18,283 --> 00:21:19,491
Eww.
470
00:21:19,658 --> 00:21:21,700
Mike, come on man, that's not what I'm going for.
471
00:21:21,866 --> 00:21:23,157
I'm in.
472
00:21:23,616 --> 00:21:24,741
What?
473
00:21:24,908 --> 00:21:25,949
Are you serious?
474
00:21:26,115 --> 00:21:28,198
Yes, it worked.
475
00:21:28,365 --> 00:21:30,115
Come on.
An orgy?
476
00:21:30,282 --> 00:21:31,615
It's madness.
477
00:21:31,782 --> 00:21:32,448
Ugh.
478
00:21:32,448 --> 00:21:34,824
It's gonna be a fucking blast.
479
00:21:34,990 --> 00:21:36,490
Success!
Success!
480
00:21:36,657 --> 00:21:38,782
Sue's in.
Thank you, yes.
481
00:21:38,948 --> 00:21:39,948
Here we go.
Come on.
482
00:21:40,114 --> 00:21:41,448
I'm gonna go meet Marcus.
483
00:21:41,448 --> 00:21:42,781
Oh, my God.
484
00:21:42,948 --> 00:21:45,489
All right, think it over.
Think it... Everybody, okay.
485
00:21:45,656 --> 00:21:46,948
All right,
I get it.
486
00:21:47,114 --> 00:21:49,947
It's gonna take a while to come
around on this whole orgy idea.
487
00:21:50,113 --> 00:21:52,113
Right? Here?
No, okay. Ha, ha!
488
00:21:52,280 --> 00:21:55,989
Very good, but go ahead, type it in your BlackBerrys,
pencil it in your notebooks.
489
00:21:56,154 --> 00:21:58,446
Orgy.
Orgy.
490
00:21:58,613 --> 00:22:00,738
Orgy.
Orgy.
491
00:22:00,905 --> 00:22:03,905
Orgy.
Orgy. Orgy.
492
00:22:10,487 --> 00:22:13,987
So, Sue, you think this is how you're gonna
finally sleep with Eric?
493
00:22:13,987 --> 00:22:17,236
What? We dated in high school.
494
00:22:17,236 --> 00:22:18,778
Come on,
that was ages ago.
495
00:22:18,945 --> 00:22:20,695
You guys never,
you know, did it,
496
00:22:20,861 --> 00:22:22,653
so it's kind of unfinished business.
497
00:22:22,820 --> 00:22:26,152
Yeah, but I've slept with like a ton of guys since then,
498
00:22:26,319 --> 00:22:28,819
so this doesn't have anything to do with it.
499
00:22:28,986 --> 00:22:31,735
Ok fine, but other than social awkwardness,
500
00:22:31,735 --> 00:22:33,235
give me one reason.
501
00:22:33,235 --> 00:22:36,318
Oh, very well.
How about I give you several reasons?
502
00:22:36,485 --> 00:22:38,027
Like, oh,
I don't know,
503
00:22:38,193 --> 00:22:39,860
chlamydia, the herp,
504
00:22:40,027 --> 00:22:43,860
gonorrhea, syphilis, papilloma.
505
00:22:44,026 --> 00:22:45,359
The Steve McQueen movie?
506
00:22:45,526 --> 00:22:46,526
No, that's Papillon.
507
00:22:46,526 --> 00:22:49,192
I'm talking about the virus that causes genital warts.
508
00:22:49,359 --> 00:22:51,525
Ugh.
Why do you think of this stuff?
509
00:22:51,692 --> 00:22:54,692
Don't you guys remember the article my
mom clipped from The New Yorker?
510
00:22:57,441 --> 00:22:58,692
No.
511
00:22:58,858 --> 00:23:01,233
Condoms can't stop it and it causes cervical cancer.
512
00:23:01,399 --> 00:23:03,274
You don't have a cervix.
513
00:23:03,858 --> 00:23:07,566
I don't know how you could have
sex in front of a room full of people.
514
00:23:07,732 --> 00:23:10,857
I mean,
I don't even like to get naked at the spa.
515
00:23:11,024 --> 00:23:13,857
I'm not saying that this is gonna be easy for me,
516
00:23:14,024 --> 00:23:16,982
but isn't that what kind of makes it exciting?
517
00:23:17,148 --> 00:23:19,690
I'm not saying that it wouldn't be fun,
518
00:23:19,857 --> 00:23:21,815
but it's an orgy.
519
00:23:21,982 --> 00:23:24,023
What's the point of losing all this weight
520
00:23:24,189 --> 00:23:26,147
if you're not gonna show off your new bod?
521
00:23:26,147 --> 00:23:28,230
I mean, You haven't even worn your bikini yet.
522
00:23:28,230 --> 00:23:29,647
I still have 5 more pounds.
523
00:23:29,814 --> 00:23:32,647
I just think this really could help build your self-esteem.
524
00:23:32,814 --> 00:23:38,229
There's the miracle cure. I'm gonna start turning
my clients onto group sex instead of Zoloft.
525
00:23:38,396 --> 00:23:40,605
We're going to the beach.
At least do that.
526
00:23:40,771 --> 00:23:41,771
C'mon. It's our last summer.
527
00:23:41,771 --> 00:23:42,813
Let's go to the beach.
528
00:23:42,479 --> 00:23:43,146
You know what?
529
00:23:43,146 --> 00:23:46,479
Shockingly, I'm gonna pass on the
stroll through the tick-infested dunes.
530
00:23:47,145 --> 00:23:48,646
Dude, I've had Lyme disease.
531
00:23:48,813 --> 00:23:51,312
It's not a big deal.
It's antibiotics, boom, done.
532
00:23:51,479 --> 00:23:54,687
You know I have a needle phobia.
Okay? I can't go to the doctor.
533
00:23:54,854 --> 00:23:57,478
The puncturing the veins and the... Ugh.
534
00:23:57,645 --> 00:24:00,103
Okay, whatever.
Enjoy the great indoors.
535
00:24:00,269 --> 00:24:02,436
Yeah. Bye.
536
00:24:02,603 --> 00:24:05,936
Ooh, hey, Eric.
Uh, could you grab some sand for my ass crack?
537
00:24:06,102 --> 00:24:07,644
I'll grab some for your cervix.
538
00:24:09,769 --> 00:24:12,102
Okay.
Let's say you dated four guys in one year,
539
00:24:12,268 --> 00:24:14,268
right, and you slept with them.
540
00:24:14,435 --> 00:24:15,518
You'd be cool with that?
541
00:24:15,518 --> 00:24:16,602
Totally.
542
00:24:16,768 --> 00:24:19,810
And how many guys have you slept with this year?
543
00:24:20,601 --> 00:24:22,601
None.
544
00:24:22,768 --> 00:24:24,142
Or the year before.
545
00:24:24,309 --> 00:24:27,642
So really all you're doing is sleeping with four guys
546
00:24:27,809 --> 00:24:30,183
in, like,
a shorter time frame.
547
00:24:31,308 --> 00:24:33,475
I never really thought of it that way.
548
00:24:34,642 --> 00:24:35,684
What do you think?
549
00:24:35,850 --> 00:24:38,975
Insane, idiotic and self-destructive.
550
00:24:40,975 --> 00:24:45,100
Okay, hypothetically.
551
00:24:43,100 --> 00:24:47,224
If I did decide to do it, but at the last minute,
552
00:24:47,224 --> 00:24:49,349
I totally freaked out,
553
00:24:49,516 --> 00:24:52,474
they would let me out, right?
554
00:24:52,640 --> 00:24:54,890
Laura, it's an orgy,
not The Accused.
555
00:24:55,057 --> 00:24:58,139
It's not fun unless everybody's into it.
556
00:25:00,515 --> 00:25:02,139
I'm gonna do it.
I'm gonna do it.
557
00:25:02,306 --> 00:25:03,431
I'm gonna do it.
558
00:25:03,431 --> 00:25:04,556
Yeah? Yeah?
559
00:25:04,723 --> 00:25:05,723
I'm gonna do it.
560
00:25:05,723 --> 00:25:06,764
All right. Yeah, girl.
561
00:25:06,931 --> 00:25:09,098
Hey, guys,
what's the celebration?
562
00:25:11,056 --> 00:25:13,722
Just talking about how to get Laura back in the saddle.
563
00:25:13,889 --> 00:25:16,472
Whoo, yay!
I'm gonna find you a guy.
564
00:25:17,014 --> 00:25:19,388
Glenn's cousin Frank is coming to the wedding.
565
00:25:23,346 --> 00:25:25,346
Okay, Game on.
Let's go.
566
00:25:25,513 --> 00:25:26,679
All right,
John Kruk.
567
00:25:26,846 --> 00:25:30,304
I'll tell you what I'm gonna throw,
and you're still gonna whiff at it.
568
00:25:30,512 --> 00:25:33,178
Slow breaking curveball.
569
00:25:34,178 --> 00:25:35,220
Oh!
570
00:25:35,387 --> 00:25:37,386
Goddamn it!
I dare you to throw that shit again.
571
00:25:37,553 --> 00:25:40,511
Swish full,
the nerd's revenge.
572
00:25:40,678 --> 00:25:42,595
Ooh, I got my bunt face on.
573
00:25:42,595 --> 00:25:45,219
Drills, ladies. Drills. Let's go. Look alive.
574
00:25:45,219 --> 00:25:46,553
Album cover,
hat or no hat?
575
00:25:46,719 --> 00:25:48,677
Oh, Doug,
come on, man.
576
00:25:48,844 --> 00:25:50,719
You've been doing this for two years.
577
00:25:50,886 --> 00:25:53,343
Mixing, remixing.
Hatting, no hatting.
578
00:25:53,510 --> 00:25:55,635
Your music's awesome.
You just get it out there.
579
00:25:55,802 --> 00:25:59,593
No one will give it a shot if they don't dig my look.
It's an image-based industry.
580
00:25:59,760 --> 00:26:03,134
What the fuck?
This is exactly why you're headed for a shitty job.
581
00:26:03,301 --> 00:26:06,801
You need to stop trying to look like
a rock star and start fucking living like one.
582
00:26:06,968 --> 00:26:07,676
Yeah, do the orgy.
583
00:26:07,676 --> 00:26:08,384
Do the orgy.
584
00:26:08,551 --> 00:26:10,009
You think Mick Jagger would have said,
585
00:26:10,175 --> 00:26:12,217
'No thanks, mate. No orgy for me.
586
00:26:12,217 --> 00:26:14,217
I've got an on-again-off-again girlfriend.'
587
00:26:14,217 --> 00:26:16,342
'I don't wanna cheat on David Bowie.'
588
00:26:16,508 --> 00:26:17,550
'No cheating on Bowie.'
589
00:26:17,550 --> 00:26:18,633
Hey, Willow.
590
00:26:20,050 --> 00:26:21,716
I know what Tom Hanks feels like now.
591
00:26:21,883 --> 00:26:23,800
See, my only concern, Duque,
592
00:26:23,967 --> 00:26:26,299
is that the hat maybe doesn't make you look gay enough.
593
00:26:26,466 --> 00:26:27,633
Oh, yeah.
594
00:26:27,799 --> 00:26:30,382
You could Photoshop in three guys jizzing on your face?
595
00:26:30,549 --> 00:26:32,966
Or on the hat?
Ooh, ooh.
596
00:26:33,132 --> 00:26:34,340
That's good.
597
00:26:34,507 --> 00:26:35,507
You know, you could do,
598
00:26:35,507 --> 00:26:37,590
You could take that five-song demo,
maybe, make it a double album.
599
00:26:37,590 --> 00:26:38,965
One with the hat, one without it?
600
00:26:38,965 --> 00:26:40,090
Yeah, that's good idea.
601
00:26:40,090 --> 00:26:41,465
You could call it Exile on Hat Street.
602
00:26:41,465 --> 00:26:43,172
Yeah, or Jagged Little Hat?
603
00:26:43,172 --> 00:26:44,798
Oh, Meat Loaf. Hat Outta Hell.
604
00:26:44,798 --> 00:26:47,881
What about Sgt. Pepper's
Lonely Hats Club Hat?
605
00:26:48,172 --> 00:26:49,172
What about just called it,
606
00:26:49,672 --> 00:26:51,380
"My shitty friends don't respect me?"
607
00:26:52,589 --> 00:26:53,672
Pretty Indie.
608
00:26:53,672 --> 00:26:54,755
I think, you won't be able to sell at Walmart.
609
00:26:54,922 --> 00:26:56,422
Alright, who's next up to hat?
610
00:26:56,422 --> 00:26:57,964
Two and two to Harvey Key.
611
00:26:58,130 --> 00:27:00,755
Sandy winds up and delivers.
612
00:27:03,171 --> 00:27:05,254
Fuck me!
613
00:27:03,963 --> 00:27:04,963
Hey, Ali Cat.
614
00:27:04,963 --> 00:27:05,421
Hi.
615
00:27:05,588 --> 00:27:06,796
Like what you see?
616
00:27:06,963 --> 00:27:09,005
This could be all yours Labor Day weekend.
617
00:27:09,170 --> 00:27:10,921
Oh, Eric.
618
00:27:11,088 --> 00:27:12,837
Do you mind if I make an observation?
619
00:27:13,004 --> 00:27:15,962
Oh, boy.
Sure, go ahead.
620
00:27:16,128 --> 00:27:18,087
You have intimacy issues.
621
00:27:18,211 --> 00:27:18,795
Really?
622
00:27:18,795 --> 00:27:19,420
Yeah.
623
00:27:19,587 --> 00:27:21,920
I figured an orgy is as intimate as it can get.
624
00:27:22,087 --> 00:27:24,920
No, no, no,
but intimacy isn't about intercourse, Eric.
625
00:27:25,087 --> 00:27:25,878
It's about emotion.
626
00:27:25,878 --> 00:27:26,336
Mm-hm.
627
00:27:26,503 --> 00:27:29,294
You don't need to get laid.
You need to be in a relationship.
628
00:27:31,335 --> 00:27:34,752
Look, just because you're in an unhappy
relationship,
629
00:27:34,877 --> 00:27:37,293
doesn't mean the rest of us need to be.
630
00:27:36,086 --> 00:27:38,502
I'm not in an unhappy relationship.
631
00:27:38,210 --> 00:27:41,085
I'm in an adult relationship.
632
00:27:41,251 --> 00:27:42,209
It's lot a fun, whatever it is.
633
00:27:42,710 --> 00:27:43,710
Hold on one sec?
634
00:27:43,376 --> 00:27:46,418
Say, hey, Marcus.
You want to take a few cracks with the bat?
635
00:27:46,584 --> 00:27:47,584
No, thank you.
636
00:27:47,960 --> 00:27:51,250
Football is my game, European football.
637
00:27:51,250 --> 00:27:52,500
Gotcha.
638
00:27:52,667 --> 00:27:54,917
Did he date Siegfried or Roy?
I can't remember.
639
00:27:57,542 --> 00:28:00,291
God, it's embarrassing watching you play this sport.
640
00:28:00,458 --> 00:28:03,249
Aww, it's cow shit.
641
00:28:03,374 --> 00:28:06,249
Look, doc,
it's your life.
642
00:28:06,374 --> 00:28:07,791
You can do whatever you want.
643
00:28:07,916 --> 00:28:10,207
All I'm saying is that maybe Labor Day weekend
644
00:28:10,374 --> 00:28:12,666
might be the last chopper out of Saigon for you.
645
00:28:20,999 --> 00:28:23,289
Knock, knock.
Guess who.
646
00:28:23,456 --> 00:28:24,748
Dody!
647
00:28:26,414 --> 00:28:27,539
These are the Webers.
648
00:28:27,539 --> 00:28:28,706
How you doing?
649
00:28:28,623 --> 00:28:30,122
We brought some extra signs
650
00:28:30,330 --> 00:28:32,039
because someone is stealing ours.
651
00:28:32,081 --> 00:28:33,747
Oh. That's too bad.
652
00:28:34,622 --> 00:28:36,413
Oh, good. Okay.
653
00:28:36,413 --> 00:28:38,121
Hey, guys. Would you do me a favor?
654
00:28:38,288 --> 00:28:39,081
When you go in the house,
655
00:28:39,081 --> 00:28:40,371
don't go to the basement or anything.
656
00:28:40,705 --> 00:28:44,871
Not that there's anything or anyone
down there in a cage or otherwise.
657
00:28:45,038 --> 00:28:48,038
Thanks, Eric.
That's so helpful.
658
00:28:48,204 --> 00:28:49,371
What is he talking about?
659
00:28:49,496 --> 00:28:52,370
Oh, gosh. Don't worry.
Don't worry.
660
00:28:52,537 --> 00:28:55,829
He's a little off.
661
00:28:55,996 --> 00:28:57,245
It's a head injury.
662
00:28:57,412 --> 00:28:59,495
That's why he wears the helmet.
663
00:28:59,662 --> 00:29:02,161
Are they all challenged?
664
00:29:02,828 --> 00:29:05,328
Yes.
But at least they have each other.
665
00:29:05,453 --> 00:29:08,661
Oh, that's so great.
666
00:29:08,828 --> 00:29:11,369
Have fun with your game, sweetie.
667
00:29:11,536 --> 00:29:12,994
Thanks, Mrs. Weber.
668
00:29:14,285 --> 00:29:17,535
We are five minutes from Indian Wells Beach.
669
00:29:17,702 --> 00:29:19,910
And wait till you see your bedroom.
670
00:29:58,115 --> 00:30:00,615
What if someone comes in?
These people never knock.
671
00:30:00,782 --> 00:30:03,198
I just locked the door.
672
00:30:03,365 --> 00:30:07,197
Fine, but you really must be quiet.
673
00:30:07,364 --> 00:30:08,698
None of your usual screeches.
674
00:30:08,865 --> 00:30:09,656
Okay, okay, okay.
675
00:30:09,656 --> 00:30:10,447
Yes?
676
00:30:10,614 --> 00:30:12,656
Yeah.
677
00:30:15,031 --> 00:30:17,572
Oh, Marcus.
Oh...
678
00:30:17,739 --> 00:30:20,238
Let's get you out of these dirty little panties.
679
00:30:20,405 --> 00:30:22,405
Do it.
What?
680
00:30:22,530 --> 00:30:25,905
What's going on? Why are you stopping?
What's going on? Hey.
681
00:30:26,072 --> 00:30:27,571
What?
682
00:30:28,237 --> 00:30:29,779
What have you done to your vagina?
683
00:30:31,404 --> 00:30:32,571
I shaved it.
684
00:30:38,570 --> 00:30:39,987
Why?
685
00:30:39,987 --> 00:30:41,445
I don't know.
686
00:30:41,612 --> 00:30:46,111
Because I thought it would be something different, sexy.
687
00:30:46,278 --> 00:30:49,861
Women are supposed to have pubic hair.
Why would I find it sexy?
688
00:30:50,028 --> 00:30:52,110
You look like a prepubescent girl.
689
00:30:52,277 --> 00:30:53,652
I'm not a child molester.
690
00:30:53,819 --> 00:30:56,861
Okay, you know what, it's hair, Marcus,
and it's gonna grow back.
691
00:30:58,193 --> 00:31:00,443
Well, I wished you would have told me
692
00:31:00,610 --> 00:31:03,109
about your little secret before I unwrapped this.
693
00:31:03,276 --> 00:31:05,693
This lambskin condoms cost 2 Euros.
694
00:31:05,860 --> 00:31:07,526
It's wasteful.
695
00:31:08,568 --> 00:31:09,734
I did it for you!
696
00:31:09,901 --> 00:31:11,859
You could have consulted with me.
697
00:31:15,525 --> 00:31:18,525
Alison, you're being like a child.
698
00:31:18,650 --> 00:31:21,108
Fuck you,
go away!
699
00:31:21,275 --> 00:31:23,191
You go away.
700
00:31:23,358 --> 00:31:24,691
I think this is chemical.
701
00:31:24,858 --> 00:31:26,691
Darling, what dosage are you taking?
702
00:31:26,858 --> 00:31:29,025
You... Fuck you!
703
00:31:29,191 --> 00:31:30,524
This is your problem.
704
00:31:30,691 --> 00:31:34,107
I was just expressing my sexuality in a healthy manner.
705
00:31:34,274 --> 00:31:38,148
God forbid, Marcus,
that we experiment a little bit.
706
00:31:38,315 --> 00:31:39,565
Fine.
707
00:31:39,732 --> 00:31:43,648
I'm going back to the city and I'm taking the iPod.
708
00:31:43,648 --> 00:31:46,231
Fine. Leave!
709
00:31:46,231 --> 00:31:48,523
And your breath is terrible!
710
00:31:48,689 --> 00:31:51,689
My breath is natural.
Unlike your vagina.
711
00:31:52,647 --> 00:31:54,189
Fuck you!
712
00:32:00,313 --> 00:32:02,730
Oh. Jesus.
713
00:32:03,647 --> 00:32:04,646
Sorry.
714
00:32:06,396 --> 00:32:07,605
It's all right.
715
00:32:10,813 --> 00:32:13,229
The worst part is I'm just peeing right now.
716
00:32:29,853 --> 00:32:31,561
I've been kicking around a few ideas.
717
00:32:31,728 --> 00:32:32,811
Themes for the party.
718
00:32:32,811 --> 00:32:33,811
Let me know what you think.
719
00:32:33,811 --> 00:32:35,519
First one, Roman, right?
720
00:32:35,519 --> 00:32:37,227
You're talking togas, wine,
721
00:32:37,227 --> 00:32:39,435
bushels of grapes,
the whole deal.
722
00:32:39,602 --> 00:32:41,477
Then I also have '70s, right?
723
00:32:41,643 --> 00:32:45,101
We got the swinger vibe, polyester,
big hair,
724
00:32:45,268 --> 00:32:48,101
upstairs and down,
you know? Um, I don't know.
725
00:32:48,267 --> 00:32:50,684
What about the Kama Sutra?
726
00:32:50,851 --> 00:32:51,559
That's actually not bad.
727
00:32:51,559 --> 00:32:52,267
Yeah?
728
00:32:52,434 --> 00:32:55,142
Yeah, yeah,
like the sex secrets of the East, right?
729
00:32:55,309 --> 00:32:56,267
Mm-hm.
730
00:32:56,267 --> 00:32:57,267
Oh, that's... Yeah.
731
00:32:57,434 --> 00:33:01,183
You know you have like, uh, incense, tapestries.
732
00:33:01,350 --> 00:33:03,516
Veils, diaphanous fabrics.
733
00:33:04,017 --> 00:33:06,766
I have no idea what the hell that is,
but I like it.
734
00:33:06,933 --> 00:33:09,100
You and me,
we're on the same page with this think.
735
00:33:09,266 --> 00:33:10,432
Right? I think so.
736
00:33:10,432 --> 00:33:11,599
Absolutely.
737
00:33:11,766 --> 00:33:13,933
How do you spell 'Kama'?
738
00:33:14,100 --> 00:33:15,557
Dude, babe alert at 3 o'clock.
739
00:33:15,724 --> 00:33:17,557
Three o'clock.
My 3, my 3.
740
00:33:22,723 --> 00:33:23,306
Wait a minute.
741
00:33:23,306 --> 00:33:23,890
That hurls my dink.
742
00:33:24,057 --> 00:33:25,390
Wait a minute. That's Kelly.
743
00:33:25,390 --> 00:33:26,765
Who?
744
00:33:26,765 --> 00:33:28,181
My Realtor.
745
00:33:28,181 --> 00:33:29,765
Oh, shit,
the enemy.
746
00:33:30,431 --> 00:33:32,139
Listen to me.
Listen.
747
00:33:32,306 --> 00:33:35,222
We cannot afford to lose the casa
de sex before Labor Day, okay?
748
00:33:35,389 --> 00:33:38,305
You go over there,
you get in tight with her, lay on the charm,
749
00:33:38,472 --> 00:33:40,388
and get her to drag ass selling the house.
750
00:33:40,555 --> 00:33:41,847
No, no,
that is... Yes, yes.
751
00:33:42,014 --> 00:33:44,305
She is a tough cookie.
She'll see through that.
752
00:33:44,471 --> 00:33:46,430
Her? Please, dude,
you're the king.
753
00:33:46,596 --> 00:33:49,888
A little winey-diney,
she'll be your humble wench servant.
754
00:33:50,846 --> 00:33:52,846
Keep friends close,
but enemies closer.
755
00:33:53,013 --> 00:33:56,304
Yeah. That doesn't make any sense.
Just go fucking charm her, okay?
756
00:33:56,637 --> 00:33:58,012
Okay.
Go, go, go.
757
00:33:58,178 --> 00:33:59,428
All right.
Do the thing.
758
00:33:59,595 --> 00:34:02,845
What? The smile thing.
Ahem.
759
00:34:03,845 --> 00:34:05,428
Kelly. Kelly.
760
00:34:05,428 --> 00:34:07,012
Hi. Oh, Eric.
761
00:34:08,720 --> 00:34:10,428
Oh, my God,
look at this. Watch.
762
00:34:10,594 --> 00:34:13,636
I hope anything I said didn't
screw anything up with the client.
763
00:34:13,803 --> 00:34:15,928
I was joking around.
I didn't freak them out?
764
00:34:16,094 --> 00:34:16,927
Oh, no. Not at all.
765
00:34:16,927 --> 00:34:17,761
Oh, good.
766
00:34:17,927 --> 00:34:20,635
You were wearing that helmet
so I was able to convince them
767
00:34:20,802 --> 00:34:23,635
that, you know,
you ride the short bus.
768
00:34:24,593 --> 00:34:26,259
Well, that's good.
769
00:34:26,426 --> 00:34:27,843
Well played.
770
00:34:27,176 --> 00:34:29,509
Hey, do you mind if...?
Maybe I can make up to you.
771
00:34:29,676 --> 00:34:31,468
Take you out to dinner or something?
772
00:34:31,634 --> 00:34:32,551
Could be fun, yeah?
773
00:34:32,551 --> 00:34:33,509
Oh, gosh, thanks.
774
00:34:33,676 --> 00:34:37,801
Um, technically,
I'm not supposed to go out with clients so..
775
00:34:37,967 --> 00:34:40,884
Well, technically my dad's the client.
776
00:34:41,051 --> 00:34:43,884
Right now I'm just some random dude on the beach.
777
00:34:44,050 --> 00:34:46,550
She's smiling. Look, she's smiling.
She's buying it.
778
00:34:46,550 --> 00:34:49,216
Okay. I'll go to dinner with you.
779
00:34:49,216 --> 00:34:50,299
All right.
780
00:34:50,466 --> 00:34:52,633
But, tell me which party we met at.
781
00:34:52,799 --> 00:34:53,883
Was it one of my parties?
782
00:34:53,883 --> 00:34:54,966
Mm-hm.
783
00:34:55,132 --> 00:34:56,757
Okay.
What, um...
784
00:34:56,924 --> 00:34:59,298
Oh, was it the Cuba Libre party because
785
00:34:59,465 --> 00:35:01,674
I was in mojito haze that whole day and I just...
786
00:35:01,840 --> 00:35:03,215
Nope.
787
00:35:03,381 --> 00:35:04,715
Oktoberfest in July?
788
00:35:04,840 --> 00:35:05,798
Nope.
789
00:35:05,798 --> 00:35:06,757
Oh, oh, no, no, I know.
790
00:35:06,923 --> 00:35:08,007
I know.
791
00:35:08,173 --> 00:35:11,423
Uh, it was the Shir Trek versus Shir
Wars Battle for the Universe Party
792
00:35:11,589 --> 00:35:14,422
and you were dressed as Obi-Wan Kenobi.
793
00:35:14,589 --> 00:35:16,923
How drunk do you get at these parties?
794
00:35:17,089 --> 00:35:19,922
Uh, pretty drunk.
It's kind of a social obligation.
795
00:35:20,089 --> 00:35:22,672
Okay.
I'm gonna give you a hint.
796
00:35:22,839 --> 00:35:24,421
I wear a size 9 shoe.
797
00:35:26,171 --> 00:35:27,880
Oh, my God.
798
00:35:28,047 --> 00:35:30,088
Oh, my God,
you're bean dip girl.
799
00:35:30,254 --> 00:35:31,254
You're bean dip girl?
800
00:35:31,671 --> 00:35:32,671
I am.
801
00:35:32,379 --> 00:35:34,504
Have you been bean dip girl the whole time?
802
00:35:34,671 --> 00:35:36,837
Oh, he's so good.
803
00:35:37,004 --> 00:35:39,088
I can't believe that.
I was gonna call you.
804
00:35:39,253 --> 00:35:40,587
I had your number on my hand
805
00:35:40,754 --> 00:35:42,628
and I jumped in the pool and it was gone.
806
00:35:42,795 --> 00:35:45,295
I thought I lost you.
I thought you were gone forever.
807
00:35:45,461 --> 00:35:46,628
And you...
808
00:35:46,795 --> 00:35:48,962
You look so much better without the fake baby.
809
00:35:49,127 --> 00:35:50,711
I actually prefer the mullet.
810
00:35:50,878 --> 00:35:52,211
Oh, I just cut it yesterday.
811
00:35:52,377 --> 00:35:53,586
Oh.
For work.
812
00:35:53,753 --> 00:35:56,752
Don't think this whole funny,
charming thing right now
813
00:35:56,919 --> 00:35:58,711
gets you off for stealing my signs.
814
00:35:58,877 --> 00:36:01,002
I don't know what you're talking about.
815
00:36:01,168 --> 00:36:03,086
I'm furious those signs are gone.
816
00:36:03,251 --> 00:36:04,710
You're lying.
I'm not lying.
817
00:36:04,877 --> 00:36:06,543
Your voice just went up.
What?
818
00:36:07,251 --> 00:36:08,543
I'm a ...
819
00:36:08,543 --> 00:36:11,209
I'm not lying. I am not lying.
820
00:36:11,209 --> 00:36:11,918
You're so lying.
821
00:36:11,918 --> 00:36:12,626
No, I'm not.
822
00:36:12,793 --> 00:36:14,668
Fucking James Bond.
Fuck.
823
00:36:16,043 --> 00:36:19,084
Wow, look at that, huh?
824
00:36:19,250 --> 00:36:22,375
Holy smokes.
Another gorgeous shot.
825
00:36:22,542 --> 00:36:23,750
Yeah, thanks.
826
00:36:25,291 --> 00:36:27,875
What should I use,
pitching wedge or nine?
827
00:36:28,000 --> 00:36:30,166
I used the nine.
828
00:36:30,499 --> 00:36:32,791
I think maybe I should use the wedge.
829
00:36:32,958 --> 00:36:34,374
Or use the wedge.
830
00:36:37,624 --> 00:36:39,665
Ugh!
Why am I like this?
831
00:36:39,832 --> 00:36:43,041
Oh, just pick a club and hit it.
What is the big deal?
832
00:36:44,165 --> 00:36:45,915
Will you do the orgy with me?
833
00:36:47,456 --> 00:36:48,957
Hey, can we play through?
834
00:36:49,122 --> 00:36:50,206
Hold on a second, man.
835
00:36:53,706 --> 00:36:54,914
The orgy
836
00:36:55,081 --> 00:36:57,205
You think that would be a good idea?
837
00:36:58,831 --> 00:37:01,622
I'm stuck.
And I think the reason is
838
00:37:01,622 --> 00:37:03,955
is because I feel like a fucking fraud.
839
00:37:04,081 --> 00:37:07,538
I'm not cool.
I have a law degree.
840
00:37:07,663 --> 00:37:11,080
I ride a motorcycle and it scares the fucking shit out of me.
841
00:37:11,204 --> 00:37:13,663
And I play golf at my mom's fucking country club
842
00:37:14,371 --> 00:37:15,996
with assholes like this.
843
00:37:16,120 --> 00:37:18,829
What's the holdup?
Play the wedge!
844
00:37:19,287 --> 00:37:21,453
This is not rock'n'roll.
845
00:37:22,787 --> 00:37:25,245
This could be really good for me.
846
00:37:25,370 --> 00:37:27,411
For me and for us.
847
00:37:28,037 --> 00:37:30,286
Will you do the orgy with me?
848
00:37:33,078 --> 00:37:35,244
Sure, yeah, yeah, whatever. Yeah.
849
00:37:36,244 --> 00:37:37,577
Really?
850
00:37:38,452 --> 00:37:40,827
Holy shit.
Yeah.
851
00:37:42,493 --> 00:37:45,577
If you're sure this is what you want.
852
00:37:45,702 --> 00:37:48,410
Yeah, absolutely.
853
00:37:48,535 --> 00:37:49,660
Good.
854
00:37:49,660 --> 00:37:50,743
I think.
855
00:37:50,868 --> 00:37:52,993
Fore!
856
00:38:00,575 --> 00:38:03,034
So you wanna know why guys don't get as excited
857
00:38:03,158 --> 00:38:05,700
about their wedding as women do?
858
00:38:05,825 --> 00:38:09,366
See, it used to be like a guy would get
rewarded for his commitment with sex.
859
00:38:09,491 --> 00:38:12,199
But you and Glenn have had sex like a billion times.
860
00:38:12,324 --> 00:38:14,699
For God's sake,
you guys have a kid together.
861
00:38:14,824 --> 00:38:20,407
So for Glenn,
it's just kind of like all commitment, no reward.
862
00:38:20,532 --> 00:38:22,032
You know?
863
00:38:22,615 --> 00:38:25,240
I'm the fucking reward.
864
00:38:25,365 --> 00:38:27,032
Of course you are.
Of course.
865
00:38:29,406 --> 00:38:31,573
Something's wrong.
He's never late.
866
00:38:31,698 --> 00:38:33,739
Try him again.
I have been trying him.
867
00:38:33,865 --> 00:38:35,322
He's not answering his phone.
868
00:38:35,447 --> 00:38:38,073
At least he won't wear a white tuxedo like you dickheads.
869
00:38:38,781 --> 00:38:40,864
Oh, God,
that's good.
870
00:38:44,405 --> 00:38:45,822
Oh, sweet Lord in heaven.
871
00:38:45,947 --> 00:38:47,613
What the fuck,
are you stoned?
872
00:38:47,738 --> 00:38:49,988
No.
No, no, no, better.
873
00:38:50,112 --> 00:38:52,780
I'm wearing a thing called The Yank.
From Adam & Eve catalogues.
874
00:38:52,905 --> 00:38:55,821
One end straps around your leg,
the other end around your Wang.
875
00:38:55,946 --> 00:38:59,946
The brochure says, 'With every stride,
it gives your member a gentle tug.'
876
00:39:01,278 --> 00:39:04,153
What are you doing with a rope
on your cock at my wedding?
877
00:39:04,278 --> 00:39:06,236
Endurance training,
Labor Day.
878
00:39:07,153 --> 00:39:07,570
For what?
879
00:39:07,570 --> 00:39:08,862
A jack-off marathon?
880
00:39:09,987 --> 00:39:12,236
What?
Uh, yeah.
881
00:39:12,361 --> 00:39:15,028
That's exactly it.
You nailed it. Heh, heh.
882
00:39:15,152 --> 00:39:16,861
Hey, check it out.
Look who's here.
883
00:39:16,986 --> 00:39:19,819
Oh, fantastic.
Another asshole in white tails.
884
00:39:19,944 --> 00:39:22,277
Keep the change, man.
885
00:39:23,360 --> 00:39:25,110
Ha-ha-ha.
Oh, my God.
886
00:39:26,443 --> 00:39:27,944
Well, well, well.
Look at you.
887
00:39:28,069 --> 00:39:31,651
You're late, you're in costume,
and you appear to be hammered.
888
00:39:31,776 --> 00:39:32,985
Who the hell are you?
889
00:39:33,109 --> 00:39:35,276
Long story.
I got fired.
890
00:39:35,401 --> 00:39:36,609
What?
891
00:39:36,734 --> 00:39:40,275
It had more to do with the fact that I
almost blew a $2 billion merger deal
892
00:39:40,400 --> 00:39:43,817
because some bozo jumped into the pool
with my blackberry.
893
00:39:43,817 --> 00:39:45,692
Oh, shit. Dude.
894
00:39:45,692 --> 00:39:47,775
I spent most of last night crying and drinking
895
00:39:47,900 --> 00:39:51,775
and then I drunk-dialed my mom.
She kind of talked me down.
896
00:39:51,900 --> 00:39:53,608
Then I woke up this morning,
897
00:39:53,733 --> 00:39:56,899
had a little more to drink and I realized,
you know what?
898
00:39:57,025 --> 00:39:59,107
This is good.
I'm free.
899
00:39:59,232 --> 00:40:00,565
Adam, I'm so sorry.
900
00:40:00,691 --> 00:40:02,649
Shh, shh, shush.
You're my friend.
901
00:40:02,774 --> 00:40:04,732
No, they took my twenties from me.
902
00:40:04,857 --> 00:40:07,940
And I plan to make my thirties making up for it.
903
00:40:08,065 --> 00:40:09,732
And you know what else?
904
00:40:09,732 --> 00:40:12,982
I'm doing the orgy. Fuck it.
905
00:40:12,982 --> 00:40:14,065
Orgy?
906
00:40:14,189 --> 00:40:15,814
What orgy?
907
00:40:15,940 --> 00:40:17,606
The fuck are you talking about?
908
00:40:17,606 --> 00:40:20,606
See, this is exactly why we should have told him, Eric.
909
00:40:20,606 --> 00:40:21,939
Told me what?
910
00:40:22,064 --> 00:40:24,230
That's what we're doing for Labor Day.
An orgy.
911
00:40:24,355 --> 00:40:26,980
Bullshit.
Who's having an orgy?
912
00:40:27,104 --> 00:40:29,438
It's me, Willow,
these two fellas,
913
00:40:29,563 --> 00:40:31,938
Laura, Sue,
now drunkie.
914
00:40:32,063 --> 00:40:33,229
Waiting on Alison.
915
00:40:33,354 --> 00:40:35,396
Jesus H.
Fucking Christ.
916
00:40:35,479 --> 00:40:38,396
How come you cocksuckers didn't
think of this fucking orgy idea
917
00:40:38,521 --> 00:40:40,854
five fucking years ago?
God damn it!
918
00:40:40,979 --> 00:40:43,062
Ahem.
Uh, Glenn.
919
00:40:43,187 --> 00:40:45,895
I'm afraid we're gonna have to start without your friend.
920
00:40:46,021 --> 00:40:47,311
Oh, he's here.
He's, uh...
921
00:40:47,603 --> 00:40:48,520
Hi, Rabbi.
922
00:40:49,978 --> 00:40:51,394
Pardon my French.
923
00:40:55,603 --> 00:40:56,811
All right, everybody.
924
00:40:56,811 --> 00:40:59,602
Introducing for the very first time,
925
00:40:59,602 --> 00:41:02,061
Mr. and Mrs. Glenn Pasillio.
926
00:41:03,519 --> 00:41:05,061
Paciello!
927
00:41:05,061 --> 00:41:06,602
Paciellio.
928
00:41:12,977 --> 00:41:14,142
Here we go.
929
00:41:15,976 --> 00:41:17,184
I am married.
930
00:41:22,809 --> 00:41:27,600
I can't believe that you guys broke up because you shaved.
931
00:41:25,600 --> 00:41:27,558
He's the weirdest,
creepiest guy ever.
932
00:41:27,683 --> 00:41:29,391
Here you are, ladies.
933
00:41:29,516 --> 00:41:31,975
You guys are definitely broken up this time, right?
934
00:41:35,266 --> 00:41:36,683
Fuck relationships.
935
00:41:36,808 --> 00:41:40,641
Right now,
all I wanna do is have some fun.
936
00:42:06,680 --> 00:42:08,555
Labor Day.
937
00:42:09,847 --> 00:42:10,930
I'm in.
938
00:42:10,555 --> 00:42:12,429
Yes.
Yes.
939
00:42:12,555 --> 00:42:14,262
Oh, and I'm fully shaved.
940
00:42:16,055 --> 00:42:17,013
Alison!
941
00:42:17,013 --> 00:42:17,930
Oh, no, no, no.
942
00:42:18,055 --> 00:42:20,096
I'm not making a speech.
943
00:42:20,220 --> 00:42:23,429
Sorry about that. It's, uh,
private conversation.
944
00:42:26,595 --> 00:42:30,095
You know what they're doing over Labor Day?
Do you know what the party is?
945
00:42:30,219 --> 00:42:31,344
What?
946
00:42:31,470 --> 00:42:33,928
They're having a fucking orgy.
947
00:42:35,053 --> 00:42:37,302
What are you talking about?
948
00:42:36,427 --> 00:42:39,011
They are having an orgy.
949
00:42:39,803 --> 00:42:40,969
Like a sex orgy?
950
00:42:41,094 --> 00:42:43,218
Like a sex orgy and we're not invited.
951
00:42:47,011 --> 00:42:48,426
Hey.
Hi.
952
00:42:48,552 --> 00:42:49,969
So is it true?
953
00:42:50,094 --> 00:42:52,343
That all of you are having this orgy
954
00:42:52,468 --> 00:42:54,384
and you didn't think to invite us?
955
00:42:56,509 --> 00:42:59,426
What are you all looking at me for?
I...
956
00:42:59,551 --> 00:43:02,133
Guys, you just got married, okay?
957
00:43:02,259 --> 00:43:04,258
L... You have a kid.
You don't...
958
00:43:04,383 --> 00:43:06,717
Don't you think it's a little inappropriate?
959
00:43:06,842 --> 00:43:08,550
Well, of course we wouldn't come.
960
00:43:08,675 --> 00:43:11,550
It's that you didn't ask us.
You didn't even think of us.
961
00:43:11,675 --> 00:43:14,132
In fact,
you specifically hid this from us.
962
00:43:14,258 --> 00:43:16,257
We invited all you to be here today,
963
00:43:16,382 --> 00:43:18,758
just the most special day of our lives,
964
00:43:18,883 --> 00:43:22,799
and you,
who are supposed to be our closest friends...
965
00:43:22,924 --> 00:43:26,007
There were family members who
didn't get invited so you could come.
966
00:43:26,131 --> 00:43:26,757
Family members.
967
00:43:26,757 --> 00:43:27,340
Right.
968
00:43:28,131 --> 00:43:31,923
Now, we're just totally out of your pervy little social club.
Huh?
969
00:43:33,007 --> 00:43:34,172
I don't believe this.
970
00:43:40,631 --> 00:43:42,839
Sorry.
Are you happy?
971
00:43:44,422 --> 00:43:47,839
Because you and your stupid orgy
just ruined our goddamn wedding.
972
00:43:47,964 --> 00:43:49,005
Oh, come on, Glenn.
973
00:43:49,005 --> 00:43:50,047
Kate!
974
00:43:50,296 --> 00:43:52,005
Is it too late to invite them?
975
00:43:52,005 --> 00:43:52,838
I'll go talk to her.
976
00:43:52,963 --> 00:43:54,047
No!
977
00:43:54,171 --> 00:43:55,129
Are you kidding me?
978
00:43:55,129 --> 00:43:56,129
Guys, it's Katie.
979
00:43:56,254 --> 00:43:57,921
She's gonna be fine in like an hour.
980
00:43:58,754 --> 00:44:00,546
I just realized I'm really hammered
981
00:43:59,963 --> 00:44:02,088
and I would really like to dance.
982
00:44:02,212 --> 00:44:03,587
I'm dancing too.
983
00:44:03,712 --> 00:44:06,503
This reminds me of our senior prom.
984
00:44:06,629 --> 00:44:08,670
You still won't give me a hand job, right?
985
00:44:29,585 --> 00:44:33,710
It's amazing that you're still so
tight with all your high school friends.
986
00:44:33,710 --> 00:44:35,293
None of mine moved back after college.
987
00:44:35,418 --> 00:44:38,292
Yeah, it's a, uh... I don't know,
it's maybe corny to say,
988
00:44:38,417 --> 00:44:40,334
but these guys and gals are kind of like
989
00:44:40,459 --> 00:44:43,001
the closest thing I've got to a family these days.
990
00:44:43,125 --> 00:44:46,333
That's why the house, the summer house,
it's like our rec center.
991
00:44:46,792 --> 00:44:49,084
I think we're getting an offer on the rec center.
992
00:44:50,458 --> 00:44:51,875
My dad will be thrilled.
993
00:44:51,875 --> 00:44:52,583
I knew it.
994
00:44:52,583 --> 00:44:53,291
What?
995
00:44:53,416 --> 00:44:55,875
I knew it wasn't a family decision to sell the house.
996
00:44:56,000 --> 00:44:59,332
No.
We're not big into family decisions any more.
997
00:44:59,457 --> 00:45:01,749
My mom,
she lives in Portland, Oregon,
998
00:45:01,874 --> 00:45:05,041
with this, uh,
Reiki healer asshole.
999
00:45:05,165 --> 00:45:06,499
Tell me exactly how you feel.
1000
00:45:06,499 --> 00:45:07,832
Oh, he's good. He's good.
1001
00:45:07,957 --> 00:45:10,582
Uh, no,
she's kind of out of the picture.
1002
00:45:10,707 --> 00:45:13,331
Her doing. Um, yeah,
it's just me and my dad.
1003
00:45:13,456 --> 00:45:16,665
Hm, well,
your dad seems like a fun guy.
1004
00:45:17,289 --> 00:45:19,623
Yeah, yeah, he's very fun. He's a hoot.
1005
00:45:19,623 --> 00:45:22,455
Kind of like being raised by an older fraternity brother.
1006
00:45:22,581 --> 00:45:23,872
He hit on me a little bit.
1007
00:45:23,872 --> 00:45:25,163
No.
1008
00:45:25,288 --> 00:45:26,372
He ask you to play golf?
1009
00:45:26,372 --> 00:45:27,455
Yes.
1010
00:45:27,580 --> 00:45:29,914
That's his move.
He's very good at golf. Very good.
1011
00:45:30,039 --> 00:45:33,246
But he did it right in front of Cherie and she had no idea.
1012
00:45:33,371 --> 00:45:34,955
Neither did my mom for a while.
1013
00:45:35,288 --> 00:45:37,246
Now if you will excuse me, Oh.
1014
00:45:37,371 --> 00:45:39,329
I have to win this game if you don't mind.
1015
00:45:39,454 --> 00:45:40,829
Does this make you...?
1016
00:45:40,829 --> 00:45:42,204
It's a little distracting.
1017
00:45:42,329 --> 00:45:43,329
That's not distracting at all.
1018
00:45:43,329 --> 00:45:44,329
Oh! Jesus.
1019
00:45:44,454 --> 00:45:46,829
I lied.
It was a little distracting.
1020
00:45:46,954 --> 00:45:48,161
Help.
1021
00:45:51,037 --> 00:45:54,203
Fred's Beds?
Are you sure this is the right place?
1022
00:45:54,536 --> 00:45:58,286
Yeah. What do you they gonna do,
putting sign on underground sex club?
1023
00:45:58,911 --> 00:46:00,577
He said come in through the warehouse entrance.
1024
00:46:01,411 --> 00:46:02,619
Hey, you got rubbers on you?
1025
00:46:02,744 --> 00:46:03,285
No!
1026
00:46:03,285 --> 00:46:03,827
What?
1027
00:46:03,827 --> 00:46:04,410
No, no, no.
1028
00:46:04,410 --> 00:46:05,952
We are here strictly to observe.
That is all.
1029
00:46:06,078 --> 00:46:07,994
Dude, it's a sex club. Semper fi.
1030
00:46:07,994 --> 00:46:09,744
Always prepared.
You know what I mean?
1031
00:46:09,744 --> 00:46:11,118
Doesn't that mean 'always faithful'?
1032
00:46:11,243 --> 00:46:13,368
Hey, who took Latin in seventh grade?
1033
00:46:13,493 --> 00:46:14,493
Moi, okay?
1034
00:46:15,576 --> 00:46:17,868
I brought a pack with me if you need one.
1035
00:46:16,910 --> 00:46:17,826
Give me the signal.
1036
00:46:17,826 --> 00:46:18,785
I won't need one.
1037
00:46:18,785 --> 00:46:19,367
Altoid?
1038
00:46:19,367 --> 00:46:20,076
Yeah.
1039
00:46:25,076 --> 00:46:26,158
What do you want?
1040
00:46:26,158 --> 00:46:27,575
The password is chandelier.
1041
00:46:31,200 --> 00:46:32,034
Who's your connection?
1042
00:46:32,034 --> 00:46:33,199
Vic George, friend of my uncle's.
1043
00:46:33,199 --> 00:46:35,324
Oh yeah. He told me to expect you.
1044
00:46:35,324 --> 00:46:36,324
Come on in.
1045
00:46:40,282 --> 00:46:43,157
So welcome to the Paradiso.
1046
00:46:47,365 --> 00:46:48,282
What the fuck?
1047
00:46:48,282 --> 00:46:49,699
I, I don't know.
1048
00:46:50,365 --> 00:46:51,365
Can I take your clothes?
1049
00:46:51,365 --> 00:46:51,949
No.
1050
00:46:51,949 --> 00:46:52,573
You sure?
1051
00:46:52,573 --> 00:46:53,198
Good, we're good.
1052
00:46:53,323 --> 00:46:54,032
Okay, follow me.
1053
00:46:54,032 --> 00:46:54,615
Yeah.
1054
00:46:55,615 --> 00:46:56,531
This is Bill.
1055
00:46:57,948 --> 00:46:59,156
That was a panda.
1056
00:46:59,156 --> 00:47:00,531
Go easy on that thing.
1057
00:47:00,531 --> 00:47:02,364
Didi, Ginger.
1058
00:47:04,073 --> 00:47:06,031
Clambake.
1059
00:47:05,530 --> 00:47:07,031
This group right here.
1060
00:47:07,530 --> 00:47:10,572
Get in the swing, rock your world.
1061
00:47:10,739 --> 00:47:11,655
My grandma has that thing.
1062
00:47:12,154 --> 00:47:14,530
You need anything,
just ask for Fred.
1063
00:47:14,530 --> 00:47:15,446
Oh, Fred's Beds?
1064
00:47:15,446 --> 00:47:16,655
Oh no, that's a different Fred.
1065
00:47:16,655 --> 00:47:17,821
I'm a dentist.
1066
00:47:18,030 --> 00:47:21,195
Vic, he is over there in the futon section.
All right?
1067
00:47:20,613 --> 00:47:21,237
Okay.
1068
00:47:21,237 --> 00:47:21,821
Have a good time.
1069
00:47:21,946 --> 00:47:22,487
Thank you.
1070
00:47:22,487 --> 00:47:23,029
Thanks, Dr. Fred.
1071
00:47:24,445 --> 00:47:26,071
Should've had this guy at the wedding.
1072
00:47:28,403 --> 00:47:29,779
Love the new Price is Right.
1073
00:47:30,779 --> 00:47:32,029
There he is, there he is.
1074
00:47:32,029 --> 00:47:33,236
Oh my god.
1075
00:47:33,236 --> 00:47:35,070
Hey, Mikey!
1076
00:47:35,153 --> 00:47:36,403
Little McCrudden.
1077
00:47:36,570 --> 00:47:39,152
Holy shit,
you've grown.
1078
00:47:39,152 --> 00:47:39,736
How you doing, baby?
1079
00:47:39,736 --> 00:47:40,277
Good, good.
1080
00:47:42,569 --> 00:47:43,777
How's your folks?
1081
00:47:43,777 --> 00:47:44,986
Good, they're on a cruise
1082
00:47:45,235 --> 00:47:46,861
Mom got her pound cake recipe published.
1083
00:47:46,861 --> 00:47:48,318
This is my buddy Eric.
1084
00:47:48,318 --> 00:47:49,402
Eric, Vic.
1085
00:47:49,360 --> 00:47:50,777
First time at the Paradise, ha? Eh, boys?
1086
00:47:51,568 --> 00:47:53,985
Come on, guys,
take off the clothes and get fucking.
1087
00:47:54,234 --> 00:47:57,901
No. No fucking. No. Actually, no,
no. We're here more doing research
1088
00:47:57,943 --> 00:48:00,192
than anything else.
We're gonna throw an orgy.
1089
00:48:00,234 --> 00:48:01,776
We were hoping we can get a little advice from you.
1090
00:48:02,567 --> 00:48:03,776
Just let me finish up here.
1091
00:48:03,776 --> 00:48:04,567
No rush. Take your time.
1092
00:48:04,567 --> 00:48:05,484
No, you can rush if you want.
1093
00:48:05,484 --> 00:48:06,484
You rush a little.
1094
00:48:07,068 --> 00:48:09,067
Not much longer guys,
Hang in will you.
1095
00:48:11,442 --> 00:48:12,358
Look at me, not her.
1096
00:48:12,859 --> 00:48:13,566
Look at me!
1097
00:48:13,566 --> 00:48:14,566
I'm not gonna look at him.
1098
00:48:15,067 --> 00:48:16,775
Do me a favor,
count me down.
1099
00:48:18,067 --> 00:48:20,066
Five, four, three...
1100
00:48:20,357 --> 00:48:20,941
Go back to 10!
1101
00:48:21,441 --> 00:48:22,441
Ten, nine, eight...
1102
00:48:22,441 --> 00:48:25,148
Oh! Your mom's a good woman.
1103
00:48:26,148 --> 00:48:28,148
You're little early on that one.
1104
00:48:33,065 --> 00:48:34,690
Holy shit,
I got a second one.
1105
00:48:35,148 --> 00:48:37,773
So Vic, we could really use your expertise.
1106
00:48:38,731 --> 00:48:40,773
How do we make sure that the women are into it?
1107
00:48:41,356 --> 00:48:44,481
Don't worry about the women,
worry about you guys.
1108
00:48:44,856 --> 00:48:46,772
Okay, so how do we make it happen, Vic?
1109
00:48:47,230 --> 00:48:48,772
Just because you have a bunch
of naked people in the room
1110
00:48:48,856 --> 00:48:50,980
doesn't mean you're all going to get it on.
1111
00:48:51,355 --> 00:48:53,271
Sometimes a girl just wants to have a heart-to-heart,
1112
00:48:53,939 --> 00:48:55,396
and she ends up pulling a train.
1113
00:48:56,563 --> 00:48:57,563
Pulling a train?
1114
00:48:57,730 --> 00:49:00,063
Mm, yeah, you know.
1115
00:49:06,646 --> 00:49:08,062
Choo-choo train.
1116
00:49:08,729 --> 00:49:09,896
Here's another thing.
1117
00:49:09,937 --> 00:49:12,478
Every wolf pack has a leader.
I take it you're the lead wolf?
1118
00:49:12,478 --> 00:49:13,144
Fucking A.
1119
00:49:13,144 --> 00:49:16,062
Uh, yes. I guess so. Yes.
1120
00:49:17,144 --> 00:49:20,186
Well, then it's all on your shoulders.
1121
00:49:20,227 --> 00:49:23,477
If you don't run,
nobody behind you can run.
1122
00:49:23,936 --> 00:49:25,019
Oh, that's good.
1123
00:49:25,019 --> 00:49:26,061
What does that mean? What do I do?
1124
00:49:26,560 --> 00:49:28,268
You have to get naked.
1125
00:49:29,727 --> 00:49:34,184
You've got get naked in your mind,
in your heart, in your soul.
1126
00:49:34,935 --> 00:49:37,268
You've got be honest with yourself
and everybody else
1127
00:49:37,351 --> 00:49:41,060
about what you want.
If you're a pegger, be honest about that.
1128
00:49:41,559 --> 00:49:42,893
What is a pegger?
1129
00:49:43,434 --> 00:49:45,267
Chick fucks a dude up the ass with a strap-on.
1130
00:49:47,350 --> 00:49:49,559
Not really my bag,
but like I always say,
1131
00:49:49,934 --> 00:49:51,558
I'm willing to try anything twice.
1132
00:49:56,349 --> 00:49:57,100
Hello, senator.
1133
00:49:57,100 --> 00:49:57,892
Hello.
1134
00:49:59,850 --> 00:50:01,766
This is a lot to process.
1135
00:50:02,849 --> 00:50:04,182
You listen to me.
1136
00:50:04,849 --> 00:50:07,390
You can't force it and you can't fake it.
1137
00:50:08,640 --> 00:50:13,765
So you better cut the bullshit,
nut up, and be a man.
1138
00:50:16,431 --> 00:50:17,681
Now if you'll excuse me,
1139
00:50:17,723 --> 00:50:20,264
I feel the blood rushing back to my sword.
1140
00:50:21,056 --> 00:50:22,389
I noticed that.
1141
00:50:24,431 --> 00:50:26,681
Well, hey, Vic, thank you.
This is all good stuff.
1142
00:50:26,931 --> 00:50:27,639
Good advice.
1143
00:50:27,639 --> 00:50:28,389
Yeah. Good.
Thank you.
1144
00:50:28,847 --> 00:50:30,263
My pleasure, guys.
1145
00:50:30,847 --> 00:50:32,555
Oh there, watch that thing.
1146
00:50:33,346 --> 00:50:34,471
Good luck.
1147
00:50:35,430 --> 00:50:37,888
Okay. We should probably leave now.
1148
00:50:38,930 --> 00:50:40,221
Don't eat anything here.
1149
00:50:40,554 --> 00:50:41,097
You son of a bitch.
1150
00:50:41,097 --> 00:50:41,679
Don't!
1151
00:50:47,929 --> 00:50:48,929
Holy shit, is that...?
1152
00:50:48,929 --> 00:50:49,554
Yeah, yeah, keep going.
1153
00:50:49,554 --> 00:50:50,679
Don't let her see you.
1154
00:50:52,720 --> 00:50:55,012
Oh. Man, oh, man. All right.
1155
00:50:55,012 --> 00:50:55,595
That was good?
1156
00:50:55,595 --> 00:50:57,054
That was good.
That was pretty good.
1157
00:50:57,178 --> 00:50:58,344
Yeah, okay,
here we go.
1158
00:50:58,344 --> 00:50:58,928
You ready?
1159
00:50:58,928 --> 00:50:59,928
Showtime.
1160
00:51:02,803 --> 00:51:03,552
Shit!
1161
00:51:04,053 --> 00:51:04,844
I'm gonna count that.
1162
00:51:04,844 --> 00:51:05,427
Okay.
1163
00:51:05,427 --> 00:51:06,302
I'm gonna count that there.
1164
00:51:06,302 --> 00:51:06,969
Okay.
1165
00:51:07,594 --> 00:51:10,135
.. yeah, it's juvenile.
I've been meaning to ask you something.
1166
00:51:10,135 --> 00:51:10,719
What?
1167
00:51:10,719 --> 00:51:13,010
What's Dody like as a boss?
1168
00:51:13,135 --> 00:51:16,802
She just seems like she could be a little,
you know, domineering.
1169
00:51:16,927 --> 00:51:20,718
Oh, my gosh, no. I mean,
she's not what you think, you know.
1170
00:51:20,843 --> 00:51:23,175
I mean, of course,
at work she's all business,
1171
00:51:23,301 --> 00:51:25,634
but, Eric,
she has traveled the world.
1172
00:51:25,759 --> 00:51:28,051
She speaks all these languages.
1173
00:51:28,175 --> 00:51:30,675
She's just full of surprises.
1174
00:51:30,800 --> 00:51:32,383
Oh, I bet she is.
1175
00:51:32,508 --> 00:51:34,633
I bet she's been places I can only imagine.
1176
00:51:34,925 --> 00:51:37,800
So, like,
now that you're super into me...
1177
00:51:39,424 --> 00:51:42,216
No, there's something I actually have to tell you.
1178
00:51:42,341 --> 00:51:43,091
Sincerely I, um...
1179
00:51:43,091 --> 00:51:43,841
Really?
1180
00:51:43,966 --> 00:51:45,966
Yeah, I kind of misled you. Uh...
1181
00:51:46,091 --> 00:51:51,007
What you saw today was not an actual
representation of my Frisbee golf skills.
1182
00:51:51,131 --> 00:51:53,298
Yeah.
I let you win.
1183
00:51:53,423 --> 00:51:54,256
Really?
1184
00:51:54,256 --> 00:51:55,131
Yeah.
1185
00:51:55,256 --> 00:51:57,298
So I want a rematch.
Like, big time.
1186
00:51:58,131 --> 00:52:00,631
Or you could just stick to sucking at pool.
1187
00:52:01,256 --> 00:52:02,798
Ooh.
1188
00:52:02,923 --> 00:52:03,714
Sss!
1189
00:52:03,714 --> 00:52:05,130
Oh.
1190
00:52:10,297 --> 00:52:11,589
One more.
1191
00:52:11,714 --> 00:52:12,255
That's it, though.
1192
00:52:12,255 --> 00:52:12,880
No.
1193
00:52:13,089 --> 00:52:15,213
That was the last one.
That's for the road.
1194
00:52:15,296 --> 00:52:16,421
I will call you.
1195
00:52:16,755 --> 00:52:17,463
Okay.
1196
00:52:17,463 --> 00:52:18,296
All right.
1197
00:52:18,713 --> 00:52:19,546
See you!
1198
00:52:20,047 --> 00:52:21,755
Hey! Umm..
1199
00:52:22,046 --> 00:52:24,421
What are you doing for Labor Day?
1200
00:52:25,421 --> 00:52:27,879
Oh, yeah. Is that...?
Yeah, Labor Day.
1201
00:52:28,004 --> 00:52:29,837
Um, you know what?
1202
00:52:29,962 --> 00:52:32,712
The guys and the crew,
we're all gonna, um...
1203
00:52:32,837 --> 00:52:34,753
We're doing this small little thing,
1204
00:52:34,879 --> 00:52:37,420
this intimate little thing.
Nothing... Nothing special.
1205
00:52:37,545 --> 00:52:40,087
Well, I was thinking that maybe,
you know,
1206
00:52:40,211 --> 00:52:42,920
your friends and my friends could get together.
1207
00:52:43,045 --> 00:52:44,336
Yeah.
1208
00:52:44,461 --> 00:52:45,377
Oh, that sounds great.
1209
00:52:45,377 --> 00:52:45,919
Yeah?
1210
00:52:46,045 --> 00:52:48,003
Yeah, we should definitely look into that,
maybe.
1211
00:52:48,127 --> 00:52:49,585
Yeah.
It'd be fun.
1212
00:52:49,711 --> 00:52:52,502
But, so, wait, Eric, is that...?
Is that a maybe?
1213
00:52:52,627 --> 00:52:55,752
Yeah, it's a maybe. It's a definite maybe.
It's a hard, hard maybe.
1214
00:52:55,877 --> 00:52:57,960
We should definitely think about doing that.
1215
00:52:58,085 --> 00:53:00,376
Let's lock it in as a possibility.
1216
00:53:00,501 --> 00:53:01,751
Okay.
1217
00:53:01,876 --> 00:53:04,167
I'll call you about it.
1218
00:53:04,167 --> 00:53:05,584
Or write you.
1219
00:53:05,584 --> 00:53:07,459
Heh, okay.
1220
00:53:07,584 --> 00:53:09,584
Carrier pigeon. Something.
I'll get a hold of you.
1221
00:53:09,584 --> 00:53:10,917
Okay, Good night, Eric.
1222
00:53:10,917 --> 00:53:11,792
Good night, Kelly.
1223
00:53:30,749 --> 00:53:31,874
What are you doing up?
1224
00:53:31,874 --> 00:53:32,999
Oh, I never went down.
1225
00:53:33,123 --> 00:53:36,623
Stayed up drinking with a dude from
Blues Traveler in the Talkhouse parking lot.
1226
00:53:36,748 --> 00:53:40,957
Like an hour ago,
fucking dude says the bubonic plague is back.
1227
00:53:41,082 --> 00:53:43,372
Great.
Another thing to worry about.
1228
00:53:44,915 --> 00:53:46,539
What are you doing up?
1229
00:53:46,873 --> 00:53:49,414
I got a bit of a situation.
1230
00:53:49,539 --> 00:53:51,372
Hit me.
1231
00:53:51,497 --> 00:53:55,205
Okay, but first off,
you can't tell anyone.
1232
00:53:55,330 --> 00:53:57,163
Dude, look who you're talking to.
1233
00:53:57,288 --> 00:53:58,163
It's the vault.
1234
00:53:58,163 --> 00:53:59,080
Seriously.
1235
00:53:59,204 --> 00:54:01,621
A lot of people tell people you can't tell someone,
1236
00:54:01,746 --> 00:54:04,704
and those people go and tell someone.
That cannot happen this time.
1237
00:54:04,829 --> 00:54:07,204
Hey!
You tell no one.
1238
00:54:07,329 --> 00:54:09,038
Not even Rodrigo?
1239
00:54:09,162 --> 00:54:12,537
Why would you tell a 50-year-old
Guatemalan landscaper about my life?
1240
00:54:12,662 --> 00:54:15,245
Because he's a good sounding board, okay?
1241
00:54:15,370 --> 00:54:18,578
But if you're gonna get all weird about it,
I won't tell Rodrigo.
1242
00:54:18,703 --> 00:54:20,745
I appreciate it.
1243
00:54:21,620 --> 00:54:23,578
I went on a date last night.
1244
00:54:23,703 --> 00:54:24,995
So far,
so good.
1245
00:54:25,119 --> 00:54:26,202
With the Realtor chick.
1246
00:54:27,160 --> 00:54:28,702
Dody Henderson?
Did she peg you?
1247
00:54:28,827 --> 00:54:31,660
No, not Dody.
I went out with Kelly.
1248
00:54:31,786 --> 00:54:32,994
Oh, thank the Lord.
1249
00:54:33,118 --> 00:54:35,160
I felt bad for your butt hole for a minute.
1250
00:54:35,285 --> 00:54:35,827
Heh, heh.
1251
00:54:35,827 --> 00:54:36,368
Yeah.
1252
00:54:36,493 --> 00:54:40,743
Yeah, and I think we've got a problem because
1253
00:54:41,618 --> 00:54:43,326
I really kind of dig her now.
1254
00:54:44,951 --> 00:54:47,325
I don't know what to do about the orgy situation.
1255
00:54:47,451 --> 00:54:48,868
Are you fucking with me right now?
1256
00:54:48,993 --> 00:54:51,158
I know.
What are the odds?
1257
00:54:51,283 --> 00:54:53,076
I mean, seriously,
I'm smack dab
1258
00:54:53,200 --> 00:54:54,909
in the middle of organizing an orgy.
1259
00:54:55,034 --> 00:54:55,700
Orgy, yeah.
1260
00:54:55,700 --> 00:54:56,408
Yes. Yeah.
1261
00:54:56,533 --> 00:54:59,450
And I meet the first girl in a long time that
1262
00:54:59,450 --> 00:55:01,700
I can see myself having a relationship with.
1263
00:55:02,700 --> 00:55:05,324
I got tell her about the orgy right?
1264
00:55:04,658 --> 00:55:06,616
What?
Ha-ha-ha!
1265
00:55:06,741 --> 00:55:09,115
No. No.
It's so stupid.
1266
00:55:09,240 --> 00:55:11,532
No. Listen to me.
No, no.
1267
00:55:11,657 --> 00:55:15,198
You don't ever, ever,
ever tell her about our little soiree here.
1268
00:55:15,323 --> 00:55:16,782
Ever.
1269
00:55:16,907 --> 00:55:18,448
Have you perked her yet?
1270
00:55:18,573 --> 00:55:20,948
Oh, goddamn it, Mike.
I hate when you say stuff.
1271
00:55:21,073 --> 00:55:23,156
No.
No, we've kissed.
1272
00:55:23,281 --> 00:55:25,031
Kissed, good.
Okay, good.
1273
00:55:25,156 --> 00:55:27,614
Keep it PG until after Labor Day, okay?
1274
00:55:27,739 --> 00:55:31,155
As long as you haven't had the exclusivity talk,
and you're not currently boning...
1275
00:55:31,280 --> 00:55:31,864
Yeah, I know.
1276
00:55:31,864 --> 00:55:33,113
Then you, my friend,
1277
00:55:33,238 --> 00:55:34,447
are a free agent.
1278
00:55:34,572 --> 00:55:36,572
Mm, I don't know, dude.
1279
00:55:36,697 --> 00:55:40,780
Listen to me.
You do not know what or who
1280
00:55:40,905 --> 00:55:42,821
she's been doing in her free time, ace.
1281
00:55:42,946 --> 00:55:46,154
So just keep it in your pants until après Labor Day
1282
00:55:46,279 --> 00:55:47,946
and then it'll just be this crazy,
1283
00:55:48,071 --> 00:55:51,237
wet, vivid, erotic
1284
00:55:51,362 --> 00:55:54,737
sexual misadventure in your past
1285
00:55:54,862 --> 00:55:57,737
that you never have to tell her about.
1286
00:56:02,028 --> 00:56:03,111
Okay...
1287
00:56:03,236 --> 00:56:04,152
Okay?
1288
00:56:04,152 --> 00:56:05,319
All right, that's the plan.
1289
00:56:05,319 --> 00:56:08,611
Thank you. That was oddly helpful.
1290
00:56:08,611 --> 00:56:11,569
I am not just a pretty face.
1291
00:56:12,902 --> 00:56:14,318
Oof, ma goof.
1292
00:56:14,443 --> 00:56:16,527
Daddy really needs to get in shape.
1293
00:56:16,652 --> 00:56:18,735
Oh, I'm with you.
I may even cut out curbs,
1294
00:56:18,860 --> 00:56:21,318
except for pizza and sandwiches, obviously.
1295
00:56:21,985 --> 00:56:25,860
Are you guys worried at all about
performing in front of everyone else?
1296
00:56:26,526 --> 00:56:28,567
Look, it's not a race.
1297
00:56:28,692 --> 00:56:30,776
Well, assuming that we can all get wood,
1298
00:56:30,901 --> 00:56:32,692
one of us will have the smallest dick.
1299
00:56:32,817 --> 00:56:35,734
And I, for one,
do not wanna have the smallest dick.
1300
00:56:35,859 --> 00:56:36,942
Okay.
Two things.
1301
00:56:37,067 --> 00:56:40,691
First off, the ladies are gonna be too concerned
about their bodies to think about yours.
1302
00:56:40,817 --> 00:56:43,191
And secondly,
that's all myth.
1303
00:56:44,067 --> 00:56:45,858
Women do not care about penis size.
1304
00:56:45,983 --> 00:56:48,441
Who do you think has the biggest dick?
1305
00:56:48,566 --> 00:56:49,691
I think I know.
1306
00:56:50,440 --> 00:56:53,524
Boom. Ah! You're next, Uncle Addie.
1307
00:56:53,524 --> 00:56:55,607
Whoa. Whoa, whoa.
1308
00:56:55,607 --> 00:56:58,398
No one fucking said anything
about giving any fucking blood.
1309
00:56:58,523 --> 00:56:58,982
Oops.
1310
00:56:58,982 --> 00:56:59,857
And can someone explain to me
1311
00:56:59,982 --> 00:57:04,023
why they need to puncture your vein to find
out if there's a problem with your shvantz?
1312
00:57:04,147 --> 00:57:06,439
Summer after freshman year,
1313
00:57:06,564 --> 00:57:07,065
Yeah?
1314
00:57:07,065 --> 00:57:10,522
I walked in on one of the guys
1315
00:57:10,647 --> 00:57:12,605
whacking off.
1316
00:57:12,731 --> 00:57:13,814
Shut up. Who?
1317
00:57:13,814 --> 00:57:14,897
I won't say.
1318
00:57:15,022 --> 00:57:16,438
No, no, no, who?
Who? Who?
1319
00:57:16,563 --> 00:57:22,188
I'm not gonna tell you,
but I will say that it was a monster.
1320
00:57:22,313 --> 00:57:25,021
Hey.
That is my blood.
1321
00:57:25,146 --> 00:57:26,646
That used to be inside you.
1322
00:57:26,771 --> 00:57:27,896
I'm gonna lie down.
1323
00:57:28,021 --> 00:57:29,687
What?
Duquez, Duquez!
1324
00:57:29,813 --> 00:57:31,812
You got give us ballpark... Right, right.
1325
00:57:31,937 --> 00:57:32,979
Like is that...?
1326
00:57:33,103 --> 00:57:35,353
It's more like...
It was like that.
1327
00:57:35,478 --> 00:57:36,895
What?
But the head.
1328
00:57:37,020 --> 00:57:38,603
What?
It's even bigger.
1329
00:57:38,728 --> 00:57:39,979
Mama likes.
1330
00:57:40,103 --> 00:57:41,978
I don't know if you're gonna like it.
1331
00:57:44,062 --> 00:57:46,436
Oh, hi.
1332
00:57:46,561 --> 00:57:47,811
Eric?
1333
00:57:47,936 --> 00:57:50,227
Kelly.
Uh, we're just heading back to the city.
1334
00:57:50,352 --> 00:57:51,561
Yeah, we'll be in touch this week.
1335
00:57:51,561 --> 00:57:52,185
Good.
1336
00:57:52,310 --> 00:57:53,394
Regarding the house.
1337
00:57:53,519 --> 00:57:56,435
Of course, the house, yes.
Yeah, I'll page you.
1338
00:57:58,894 --> 00:58:00,101
Dody.
1339
00:58:00,101 --> 00:58:01,309
Eric.
1340
00:58:01,435 --> 00:58:03,351
The password this week is unicorn.
1341
00:58:04,476 --> 00:58:06,559
Well, I don't know if that'll be nece...
1342
00:58:22,516 --> 00:58:25,017
We're here to share our experiences
1343
00:58:25,141 --> 00:58:28,933
in creating the perfect orgy of your personal fantasies.
1344
00:58:34,348 --> 00:58:37,099
See that?
Everybody's always touching two people.
1345
00:58:36,598 --> 00:58:38,390
A little teamwork over there.
1346
00:58:38,515 --> 00:58:40,099
They're playing good team ball.
1347
00:58:40,223 --> 00:58:42,556
Okay, I think we get the picture.
1348
00:58:49,597 --> 00:58:51,347
McCrudds, you want some pizza?
1349
00:58:51,472 --> 00:58:53,138
No, I'm not hungry.
Thank you.
1350
00:58:53,263 --> 00:58:55,388
Got an all-I-can-eat buffet going right here.
1351
00:58:59,014 --> 00:59:00,388
What is that?
1352
00:59:03,263 --> 00:59:04,137
Oh!
1353
00:59:04,137 --> 00:59:05,055
Shit!
1354
00:59:05,179 --> 00:59:07,554
Oh, he's doing my move.
Look at that.
1355
00:59:07,679 --> 00:59:09,721
He knows the Thoosh.
1356
00:59:12,596 --> 00:59:13,887
Hey, you guys?
Guys.
1357
00:59:14,012 --> 00:59:18,345
Back to the music. Are we...?
Are we really gonna listen to Indian the whole night?
1358
00:59:18,470 --> 00:59:19,845
I think it might get a little...
1359
00:59:19,845 --> 00:59:21,219
Cab ride-y? Agreed. Yeah.
1360
00:59:21,345 --> 00:59:23,678
I'm working on a killer playlist right now.
1361
00:59:23,803 --> 00:59:25,511
Got some obscure Radiohead.
1362
00:59:25,636 --> 00:59:27,719
Who has sex to Radiohead?
1363
00:59:27,845 --> 00:59:29,719
Thom Yorke.
1364
00:59:29,844 --> 00:59:31,260
No Radiohead.
No Radiohead.
1365
00:59:31,385 --> 00:59:34,552
I think we need something sensual,
like Sting.
1366
00:59:34,677 --> 00:59:35,385
I love Sting.
1367
00:59:35,385 --> 00:59:36,094
No. No. No.
1368
00:59:36,218 --> 00:59:38,510
Unacceptable.
Absolutely not fucking Sting.
1369
00:59:38,635 --> 00:59:41,343
That's bullshit, man.
If Sting comes on the fucking stereo,
1370
00:59:41,468 --> 00:59:42,968
guess who's walking.
This guy.
1371
00:59:43,094 --> 00:59:45,176
Sting, it is then.
1372
00:59:50,759 --> 00:59:52,093
got you a little present.
1373
00:59:52,217 --> 00:59:52,759
Really?
1374
00:59:52,759 --> 00:59:53,300
Mm-hm.
1375
00:59:53,634 --> 00:59:56,300
It's filled with some great things for next weekend.
1376
00:59:56,425 --> 00:59:58,550
It's not my birthday.
Oh.
1377
01:00:00,009 --> 01:00:03,591
Look, oh, boy. Oh, wow. Look at that guy.
He's like a Swiss Army dude.
1378
01:00:03,716 --> 01:00:06,008
Wow, that's great.
People are gonna love that.
1379
01:00:06,132 --> 01:00:07,132
Just so you know...
1380
01:00:07,132 --> 01:00:07,716
Mm-hm?
1381
01:00:08,758 --> 01:00:10,716
I'm not wearing any underwear right now.
1382
01:00:10,841 --> 01:00:12,257
Ew, on these stools?
1383
01:00:12,257 --> 01:00:14,298
Well, well, well, the gang's all here.
1384
01:00:14,298 --> 01:00:16,049
Paciellio!
1385
01:00:16,173 --> 01:00:17,715
Hi.
Paciellio.
1386
01:00:19,091 --> 01:00:20,007
Hi, guys.
1387
01:00:20,007 --> 01:00:20,924
What's up?
1388
01:00:21,049 --> 01:00:22,882
We have some business to discuss.
1389
01:00:23,007 --> 01:00:28,673
Right.
So Glenn and I have talked it over and...
1390
01:00:29,798 --> 01:00:32,255
we would like to be included in the orgy.
1391
01:00:33,797 --> 01:00:35,797
We're in.
1392
01:00:35,922 --> 01:00:37,047
We wanna do it.
1393
01:00:40,089 --> 01:00:42,047
Um...
1394
01:00:43,755 --> 01:00:44,838
No.
1395
01:00:44,963 --> 01:00:46,129
Why not?
What... What?
1396
01:00:46,254 --> 01:00:48,129
We already lined up my folks to babysit.
1397
01:00:48,588 --> 01:00:52,088
Guys, guys,
as a friend and a mental-health professional,
1398
01:00:52,212 --> 01:00:54,046
I think it is a horrible, horrible idea.
1399
01:00:54,170 --> 01:00:56,295
If you feel disconnected from the group,
I can understand...
1400
01:00:56,420 --> 01:00:59,128
Alison, with all due respect,
1401
01:00:59,253 --> 01:01:01,628
you're an MA,
I'm an MD.
1402
01:01:01,962 --> 01:01:03,503
You're a podiatrist.
1403
01:01:03,628 --> 01:01:05,336
Okay, let's take a vote.
1404
01:01:05,461 --> 01:01:06,836
How many people want us in?
1405
01:01:06,836 --> 01:01:07,753
Right.
1406
01:01:07,878 --> 01:01:11,045
I would just like to say that I think
they maybe have a point here.
1407
01:01:11,169 --> 01:01:14,502
Just because they have a baby
doesn't mean we should discriminate them.
1408
01:01:14,627 --> 01:01:17,835
Plus, Kate's rack is killer right now.
1409
01:01:17,961 --> 01:01:19,585
Thank you, Michael. Yeah.
1410
01:01:19,710 --> 01:01:23,251
Jesus, Mike,
are you insane? No. No, no.
1411
01:01:23,376 --> 01:01:26,334
Dude, dude, dude, 10 o'clock.
Ten o'clock. My 10, my 10.
1412
01:01:27,584 --> 01:01:28,960
Shit.
1413
01:01:29,085 --> 01:01:31,793
Hey!
Look who it is.
1414
01:01:31,918 --> 01:01:33,459
Hi, there it is.
1415
01:01:33,584 --> 01:01:35,500
Hey, uh,
this is my Realtor, Kelly.
1416
01:01:35,625 --> 01:01:37,375
This is the group,
the gang.
1417
01:01:37,500 --> 01:01:39,166
Hi, Kelly.
1418
01:01:39,291 --> 01:01:41,708
Gosh, I've heard so much about all of you guys.
1419
01:01:41,833 --> 01:01:43,375
How?
When?
1420
01:01:43,500 --> 01:01:44,792
What? Why? What's she hiking about?
1421
01:01:44,792 --> 01:01:46,124
Let's get a drink shall we?
1422
01:01:46,249 --> 01:01:47,916
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
1423
01:01:49,000 --> 01:01:51,833
You think we couldn't handle this because we're parents?
1424
01:01:51,958 --> 01:01:54,999
Well, we can handle shit that you can't even imagine.
1425
01:01:55,123 --> 01:01:57,749
You know,
you motherfuckers have no idea.
1426
01:01:57,874 --> 01:01:58,540
That's right.
1427
01:01:58,540 --> 01:01:59,248
No idea.
1428
01:01:59,373 --> 01:02:00,457
Come on.
1429
01:02:00,457 --> 01:02:01,582
You... You...
1430
01:02:01,707 --> 01:02:03,748
You're all lightweights
1431
01:02:03,873 --> 01:02:06,706
You are all playing JV ball.
1432
01:02:06,831 --> 01:02:07,373
Lightweights!
1433
01:02:07,373 --> 01:02:07,915
Whoa!
1434
01:02:08,040 --> 01:02:08,998
All right, Glenn.
1435
01:02:08,998 --> 01:02:09,956
Come on, honey.
1436
01:02:10,956 --> 01:02:14,289
On a lighter note,
I have this present.
1437
01:02:16,705 --> 01:02:17,914
Dildos!
1438
01:02:18,039 --> 01:02:20,997
You know, in a pinch,
this would be great for a toothbrush.
1439
01:02:23,872 --> 01:02:25,454
And I have no idea what this is.
1440
01:02:25,580 --> 01:02:27,913
Hey, Eric,
what's up with all the dildos?
1441
01:02:28,038 --> 01:02:31,080
Hey, those are my friends, lady.
Hey, what's going on with the house?
1442
01:02:31,204 --> 01:02:35,996
Um, I've been able to slow things down
to buy you till the end of the summer.
1443
01:02:36,537 --> 01:02:37,328
Really?
1444
01:02:37,328 --> 01:02:38,120
Yeah.
1445
01:02:38,829 --> 01:02:40,870
Oh, you're the best.
1446
01:02:43,161 --> 01:02:44,536
Thank you so much.
1447
01:02:44,661 --> 01:02:45,453
What is that?
1448
01:02:45,453 --> 01:02:46,244
What? What?
1449
01:02:46,369 --> 01:02:47,161
What's going on?
1450
01:02:47,161 --> 01:02:47,953
Nothing.
1451
01:02:48,078 --> 01:02:49,870
No, he told me not to tell anybody so...
1452
01:02:49,995 --> 01:02:50,661
Yeah, okay.
1453
01:02:50,661 --> 01:02:51,369
You know.
1454
01:02:52,494 --> 01:02:53,285
Keep it on the down-low.
1455
01:02:53,285 --> 01:02:54,118
Yeah.
1456
01:02:54,244 --> 01:02:56,078
He asked her out to get them to shill.
1457
01:02:56,202 --> 01:02:57,827
Went on a couple dates,
he start likes her,
1458
01:02:57,952 --> 01:03:01,493
decide doesn't want to sleep with her before
the orgy because it's wrong to do both.
1459
01:03:01,618 --> 01:03:03,535
Oh.
He doesn't wanna sleep with her.
1460
01:03:03,660 --> 01:03:05,868
That actually means he likes her.
1461
01:03:05,993 --> 01:03:06,493
Oh.
1462
01:03:06,493 --> 01:03:07,035
Awesome.
1463
01:03:07,159 --> 01:03:08,868
Hey.
Dildo wave.
1464
01:03:08,993 --> 01:03:11,035
Hi.
1465
01:03:29,116 --> 01:03:30,699
Phew!
1466
01:03:30,824 --> 01:03:33,449
Yo, maharajah,
wanna get my back for me?
1467
01:03:33,574 --> 01:03:35,741
What is this shit?
Self tanner, man.
1468
01:03:35,866 --> 01:03:37,740
I wanna look like a porn star.
1469
01:03:37,866 --> 01:03:40,240
Fuck me,
I just stroked out my third batch du jour.
1470
01:03:40,365 --> 01:03:44,156
You boys might wanna do the same.
Don't wanna come quick like a bunch of amateurs.
1471
01:03:44,281 --> 01:03:47,156
Oh, God.
I am not touching you.
1472
01:03:48,073 --> 01:03:50,156
Ah, fuck it.
I'm gonna whack it again.
1473
01:03:50,281 --> 01:03:53,073
You look so pretty.
So do you.
1474
01:03:53,197 --> 01:03:54,280
Thank you.
1475
01:03:54,405 --> 01:03:55,822
I love it.
1476
01:03:55,948 --> 01:03:57,572
Consider yourself warned.
1477
01:03:57,697 --> 01:04:01,113
This absinthe is the real deal.
I had it flown in from Amsterdam.
1478
01:04:01,238 --> 01:04:05,446
The guy that sold it to me said it's the same stuff
Van Gogh was on when he cut his ear off.
1479
01:04:05,571 --> 01:04:06,154
Oh, no.
1480
01:04:06,154 --> 01:04:06,780
Uh-oh.
1481
01:04:06,905 --> 01:04:08,696
It's gonna be a starry night, huh?
1482
01:04:08,821 --> 01:04:09,988
It smells like licorice.
1483
01:04:10,112 --> 01:04:12,487
A toast.
A toast.
1484
01:04:12,612 --> 01:04:14,154
To friends.
1485
01:04:14,279 --> 01:04:15,696
To friends.
1486
01:04:15,821 --> 01:04:19,946
And to making sweet love with, to, near...
1487
01:04:20,071 --> 01:04:20,695
On.
1488
01:04:20,695 --> 01:04:21,362
In.
1489
01:04:21,487 --> 01:04:23,612
Under.
And behind.
1490
01:04:25,903 --> 01:04:27,695
All right, salud.
1491
01:04:30,986 --> 01:04:32,611
Hagalaka.
1492
01:04:32,736 --> 01:04:34,777
Whoo! Sober.
Never more
1493
01:04:43,069 --> 01:04:44,777
The pillows look really nice.
1494
01:04:44,902 --> 01:04:46,234
Yeah.
1495
01:04:46,359 --> 01:04:48,318
These Crate and Barrel or...?
1496
01:04:56,859 --> 01:04:57,942
You guys look great.
1497
01:04:58,068 --> 01:04:59,233
Oh, thanks.
1498
01:04:59,358 --> 01:05:00,734
You look so fucking hot.
1499
01:05:00,859 --> 01:05:03,733
I'm just being honest.
I wanna lick your belly button.
1500
01:05:03,858 --> 01:05:06,942
And yours, your belly button's nice too.
You got a good one too.
1501
01:05:07,067 --> 01:05:10,232
I haven't seen yours,
but I'm gonna lick the shit out of that thing.
1502
01:05:10,357 --> 01:05:11,733
Wow.
1503
01:05:11,858 --> 01:05:14,732
As the de facto lead wolf, right?
1504
01:05:14,858 --> 01:05:17,649
I, uh...
I should kick this mofo off,
1505
01:05:17,774 --> 01:05:20,941
but I got be honest with you.
I have no idea what to do, so...
1506
01:05:21,066 --> 01:05:21,815
Lead wolf?
1507
01:05:21,815 --> 01:05:22,565
Oh, yeah.
1508
01:05:22,690 --> 01:05:24,273
You had to be there kind of...
1509
01:05:24,273 --> 01:05:25,898
Tut-tut-tut. Okay.
1510
01:05:26,024 --> 01:05:28,523
Listen up, everybody.
As per usual,
1511
01:05:28,648 --> 01:05:31,564
it is up to me to get this party started.
1512
01:05:31,689 --> 01:05:35,023
Hang on. I got something for you.
Hang on a second, ladies.
1513
01:05:40,146 --> 01:05:41,397
Yeah, rock 'n' roll.
1514
01:05:41,397 --> 01:05:42,647
Holy moly.
1515
01:05:42,772 --> 01:05:43,855
We're on safari now.
1516
01:05:43,980 --> 01:05:45,104
Yeah.
1517
01:05:45,229 --> 01:05:46,730
How many leopards had to die?
1518
01:05:46,855 --> 01:05:49,022
Just one big old kinky leopard.
1519
01:05:50,354 --> 01:05:51,521
They won't kick us out.
1520
01:05:51,521 --> 01:05:53,771
If we're here,
they won't kick us out.
1521
01:05:53,896 --> 01:05:54,687
Okay.
1522
01:05:54,687 --> 01:05:56,312
They won't do it.
1523
01:05:56,437 --> 01:05:59,479
And we're totally sure we wanna do this?
1524
01:06:03,020 --> 01:06:06,269
Somebody do something.
Huh?
1525
01:06:06,395 --> 01:06:09,144
All right?
Anybody?
1526
01:06:09,936 --> 01:06:14,310
All right, fuck it. I'm gonna call it.
Sue, kiss Alison. I'm gonna shirt touching myself.
1527
01:06:14,436 --> 01:06:18,143
Oh.
We could shirt with a back-rub circle like in college.
1528
01:06:20,852 --> 01:06:23,061
I'll get things started.
1529
01:06:23,185 --> 01:06:24,643
Yes.
Yeah!
1530
01:06:24,768 --> 01:06:26,852
Here we go.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
1531
01:06:27,643 --> 01:06:30,684
I'm sorry, I can't.
I can't do this any more.
1532
01:06:30,810 --> 01:06:32,476
I can't. I can't do this.
I'm sorry.
1533
01:06:34,934 --> 01:06:35,976
I knew it.
1534
01:06:36,100 --> 01:06:38,308
I knew you'd fucking puss out, man.
1535
01:06:38,434 --> 01:06:40,725
I'm not pussing out.
I'm happen in a relationship
1536
01:06:40,850 --> 01:06:43,725
that I really appreciate.
And I don't wanna fuck this up.
1537
01:06:43,850 --> 01:06:46,641
Classic Duquez. You know,
it's like doughnuts, no doughnuts,
1538
01:06:46,767 --> 01:06:48,641
hat, no hat, orgy,
no orgy.
1539
01:06:48,766 --> 01:06:50,599
We take a look-see through the window
1540
01:06:50,725 --> 01:06:53,266
and if it looks, like,
too freaky or lame,
1541
01:06:53,391 --> 01:06:54,974
Yeah.
We take off.
1542
01:06:55,100 --> 01:06:59,223
And if it looks,
you know, cool, we go in.
1543
01:06:59,348 --> 01:07:00,182
Okay?
1544
01:07:00,182 --> 01:07:01,016
okay...
1545
01:07:01,140 --> 01:07:02,598
I'm not mad at you.
1546
01:07:02,724 --> 01:07:05,099
Eric, Eric.
I love what's going on here,
1547
01:07:05,223 --> 01:07:07,348
but I don't think you need to insult each other.
1548
01:07:07,473 --> 01:07:08,765
You should actually communicate.
1549
01:07:08,765 --> 01:07:10,098
My God, Alison, please for all of us?
1550
01:07:10,222 --> 01:07:11,973
Would you give it a rest? Just one night?
1551
01:07:11,973 --> 01:07:13,764
You're totally uncomfortable with real emotion.
1552
01:07:13,889 --> 01:07:16,430
Oh, yeah, I can't.
I'm the only one here with issues.
1553
01:07:16,556 --> 01:07:19,263
It's just me?
What about you and your disfunctional relationship?
1554
01:07:19,389 --> 01:07:19,972
We broke up.
1555
01:07:19,972 --> 01:07:20,597
You broke up?
1556
01:07:20,722 --> 01:07:21,222
Yes.
1557
01:07:21,222 --> 01:07:21,764
Oh, you broke up?
1558
01:07:21,889 --> 01:07:25,263
Like the same you guys broke up a couple years
ago at the Oktoberfest in July party?
1559
01:07:25,388 --> 01:07:26,430
Like that kind of broke up?
1560
01:07:26,430 --> 01:07:27,513
Wait, what happened on Oktoberfest?
1561
01:07:27,638 --> 01:07:30,930
This one tells me that her and Marcus are broken up.
The're over. Done. Fenito. Right?
1562
01:07:31,055 --> 01:07:34,096
So, we're joking around, we having some drinks,
she tells me about it, then we hook up.
1563
01:07:34,220 --> 01:07:36,804
Very next morning,
she's having brunch with the guy.
1564
01:07:36,929 --> 01:07:39,262
Whoa, whoa, wait? What?
1565
01:07:39,387 --> 01:07:40,720
You never told me this.
1566
01:07:40,846 --> 01:07:44,637
Sue, I don't need to tell you because nothing happened.
We didn't sleep together.
1567
01:07:44,762 --> 01:07:47,136
You told me it was a blowjob,
she wouldn't swallow.
1568
01:07:47,261 --> 01:07:49,428
No, I did not, Mike.
I did not say that.
1569
01:07:49,553 --> 01:07:50,803
It was a fucking hand job.
1570
01:07:50,803 --> 01:07:52,053
Oh, that's hand job. That's right.
1571
01:07:52,177 --> 01:07:54,302
It was a hand job.
I'm sorry. My bad.
1572
01:07:54,427 --> 01:07:55,511
Please don't go there.
1573
01:07:55,511 --> 01:07:56,636
No, no, no.
1574
01:07:56,761 --> 01:08:00,135
Alison, shut up.
You're a hypocrite.
1575
01:08:00,260 --> 01:08:01,552
What's going on?
1576
01:08:01,677 --> 01:08:06,052
First of all,
they're dressed like Indians from India.
1577
01:08:06,176 --> 01:08:07,134
That makes much more sense.
1578
01:08:07,134 --> 01:08:08,134
Yeah.
1579
01:08:08,259 --> 01:08:09,635
This is why I don't tell you.
1580
01:08:09,635 --> 01:08:11,052
You could've given him a blowjob.
1581
01:08:11,176 --> 01:08:12,342
Why didn't you fuck him?
1582
01:08:12,342 --> 01:08:13,551
Why don't you get over it?
1583
01:08:13,676 --> 01:08:16,509
How long are you gonna be obsessed with Eric?
1584
01:08:17,467 --> 01:08:18,550
Oh, shit.
1585
01:08:19,550 --> 01:08:21,092
Wait, what?
1586
01:08:22,508 --> 01:08:24,508
Okay. Ookay...
1587
01:08:24,633 --> 01:08:26,842
Urch' your brakes on, people.
1588
01:08:26,967 --> 01:08:29,550
We are rapidly losing the erotic vibe.
1589
01:08:30,132 --> 01:08:33,674
I'm gonna get this party rocking right here in a major way.
1590
01:08:33,799 --> 01:08:35,382
What you got, man?
1591
01:08:35,507 --> 01:08:37,924
Ready, set,
here we go.
1592
01:08:38,049 --> 01:08:40,340
Oh!
Let loose the Kraken.
1593
01:08:40,465 --> 01:08:42,382
Yeah!
1594
01:08:42,507 --> 01:08:45,507
Will you give it a break, Mike?
This shit's pathetic.
1595
01:08:45,632 --> 01:08:48,256
Oh, fuck you.
You fucking pussy. You're lame.
1596
01:08:48,381 --> 01:08:49,840
You're the lame one, man.
1597
01:08:49,965 --> 01:08:53,339
You don't have a job. You don't have a girlfriend.
You just follow Eric around
1598
01:08:53,464 --> 01:08:56,798
and do everything he tells you to do.
You're like his little fucking pet.
1599
01:08:59,505 --> 01:09:01,130
Dougie.
1600
01:09:01,255 --> 01:09:02,338
Fuck you, Doug.
1601
01:09:07,047 --> 01:09:11,005
Is that what all of you think of me?
You think that I'm his...? You think I'm his fucking pet?
1602
01:09:11,129 --> 01:09:12,838
No.
1603
01:09:13,546 --> 01:09:17,046
He meant pet in a nice way.
1604
01:09:19,754 --> 01:09:21,796
Is he fucking with me right now?
1605
01:09:22,378 --> 01:09:25,879
This is the worst orgy ever.
1606
01:09:25,295 --> 01:09:27,336
Should we just go home or...?
1607
01:09:27,461 --> 01:09:28,962
No.
1608
01:09:29,087 --> 01:09:31,336
We already got a sitter.
1609
01:09:31,461 --> 01:09:34,003
You wanna go see a movie or you wanna...?
1610
01:09:37,711 --> 01:09:39,335
Okay, okay.
All right, time out.
1611
01:09:39,460 --> 01:09:41,627
Time out.
Time out, T.O., okay?
1612
01:09:41,752 --> 01:09:45,044
Look, I think everyone just needs to take a deep breath.
1613
01:09:45,168 --> 01:09:46,460
All right?
1614
01:09:47,460 --> 01:09:50,918
We need to relax and chill out for a second,
all right?
1615
01:09:51,043 --> 01:09:52,584
Whoa!
1616
01:09:52,710 --> 01:09:54,043
Where are you going?
1617
01:09:54,167 --> 01:09:56,292
I'm just going outside to get some fresh air.
1618
01:09:56,417 --> 01:09:57,959
Clear my head.
1619
01:10:01,084 --> 01:10:03,625
I swear to God, guys,
I thought this was gonna be fun.
1620
01:10:27,206 --> 01:10:29,748
Oh, yeah.
Oh!
1621
01:10:29,873 --> 01:10:32,581
Why won't God just let me have an orgy?
1622
01:10:40,122 --> 01:10:43,413
Okay. All right,
here we go.
1623
01:10:46,497 --> 01:10:47,663
Eric.
1624
01:10:47,663 --> 01:10:48,872
Kelly, heh, heh.
1625
01:10:48,997 --> 01:10:51,580
What are you doing here?
I thought you were doing something with your friends.
1626
01:10:51,705 --> 01:10:52,913
I know.
I know. Uh...
1627
01:10:53,038 --> 01:10:54,621
Did you fly here on a carpet?
1628
01:10:54,746 --> 01:10:56,996
No, heh.
No, no. I, uh...
1629
01:10:57,120 --> 01:11:00,079
It's a last-second costume concept for, uh...
1630
01:11:00,162 --> 01:11:04,370
Look, I, uh... I've been thinking about
things and I realized something.
1631
01:11:05,120 --> 01:11:06,245
Oh, shit.
1632
01:11:06,370 --> 01:11:08,995
I thought we ordered pizza.
What'd you get, Indian food?
1633
01:11:11,620 --> 01:11:12,703
I'm sorry.
1634
01:11:12,828 --> 01:11:15,744
I, uh...
Sorry to interrupt. Sorry.
1635
01:11:15,870 --> 01:11:18,661
Uh, Pete, give us a second?
Hey, hey, hey, Eric.
1636
01:11:18,786 --> 01:11:20,369
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.
1637
01:11:20,494 --> 01:11:21,036
You didn't call.
1638
01:11:21,036 --> 01:11:21,619
I know.
1639
01:11:21,744 --> 01:11:24,452
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
1640
01:11:24,577 --> 01:11:27,326
Oh, pizza?
Really?
1641
01:11:27,451 --> 01:11:28,410
I'm sorry.
1642
01:11:28,410 --> 01:11:29,410
No, that's all right.
1643
01:11:29,535 --> 01:11:30,451
Hey, what's up, man?
1644
01:11:30,451 --> 01:11:31,368
Eighteen bucks.
1645
01:11:31,493 --> 01:11:33,035
Go, have fun.
Hone...
1646
01:11:33,159 --> 01:11:35,367
Honestly.
No biggie.
1647
01:11:35,493 --> 01:11:36,868
I'll call you tomorrow.
1648
01:11:38,617 --> 01:11:40,076
Bye.
1649
01:11:41,909 --> 01:11:45,867
Like I don't know that I don't have a girlfriend.
1650
01:11:45,992 --> 01:11:51,408
Like I'm not trying to remember
that every fucking night of my life.
1651
01:11:51,533 --> 01:11:53,783
It's hard.
1652
01:12:00,741 --> 01:12:02,240
So where were we?
1653
01:12:02,741 --> 01:12:04,282
Where'd you go?
1654
01:12:03,907 --> 01:12:06,032
I know, I know,
I know, I, uh... Heh.
1655
01:12:06,156 --> 01:12:08,949
I'm sorry I left. You know, I...
1656
01:12:09,448 --> 01:12:16,906
I'm gonna be honest
with you, guys. Um, I'm freaking out a little.
1657
01:12:16,406 --> 01:12:19,114
I have had the best times of my life
1658
01:12:19,239 --> 01:12:21,447
with you guys in this house
1659
01:12:21,572 --> 01:12:26,238
and I'm gonna miss it.
1660
01:12:26,572 --> 01:12:29,238
I'm gonna miss it so much.
1661
01:12:29,363 --> 01:12:31,780
I love you GUYS...
1662
01:12:32,072 --> 01:12:35,613
I love every single one of you.
1663
01:12:35,321 --> 01:12:36,738
She wasn't home, huh?
1664
01:12:37,362 --> 01:12:40,237
No.
No, She was home.
1665
01:12:40,362 --> 01:12:41,570
She was on a date.
1666
01:12:43,278 --> 01:12:46,695
Yeah.
And I showed up dressed like fucking Aladdin.
1667
01:12:48,653 --> 01:12:51,070
Well, I think that you look adorable.
1668
01:12:51,194 --> 01:12:55,569
And I am so happy that you're back.
1669
01:12:55,694 --> 01:12:59,319
It's been a pretty emotional night for all of us.
1670
01:12:59,444 --> 01:13:02,819
How about a big super-gay group hug?
1671
01:13:02,944 --> 01:13:03,986
Oh, yeah.
1672
01:13:03,986 --> 01:13:05,027
Group hug.
1673
01:13:05,151 --> 01:13:06,193
Yeah.
1674
01:13:06,318 --> 01:13:08,693
Oh!
I love you guys.
1675
01:13:13,526 --> 01:13:14,776
Oh, my God.
1676
01:13:17,026 --> 01:13:19,734
Oh, my... I would not have called that.
1677
01:13:24,609 --> 01:13:26,233
Hey, what was that about earlier?
1678
01:13:26,358 --> 01:13:27,733
Yeah, nothing.
Later. What?
1679
01:13:30,274 --> 01:13:31,566
Wha...?
1680
01:13:32,650 --> 01:13:34,441
Oh, gosh!
1681
01:13:34,566 --> 01:13:36,858
It's happening.
It's really happening.
1682
01:13:36,983 --> 01:13:39,733
We can do this.
I don't know if I can.
1683
01:13:39,858 --> 01:13:41,607
We'll do it together.
Okay?
1684
01:13:43,941 --> 01:13:46,190
One.
1685
01:13:47,607 --> 01:13:49,607
Two.
1686
01:13:51,940 --> 01:13:53,023
Three.
1687
01:13:55,815 --> 01:13:57,814
Hello, boobs.
1688
01:14:00,481 --> 01:14:01,647
Are they okay?
1689
01:14:02,856 --> 01:14:05,230
They're fucking fabulous.
1690
01:14:05,105 --> 01:14:07,313
Thank you.
1691
01:14:09,647 --> 01:14:12,771
Oh.
And just so you know, um,
1692
01:14:12,897 --> 01:14:17,229
I've never been able to orgasm,
so no pressure.
1693
01:14:17,354 --> 01:14:19,312
I'm all about giving pleasure.
1694
01:14:19,437 --> 01:14:21,562
This is so much better than porn.
1695
01:14:32,103 --> 01:14:33,603
Oh, my God!
1696
01:14:33,728 --> 01:14:34,770
I told you so.
1697
01:14:34,895 --> 01:14:36,020
You weren't kidding.
1698
01:14:36,644 --> 01:14:39,602
That is remarkable that he is insecure.
1699
01:14:42,477 --> 01:14:44,519
Tequila!
1700
01:15:08,975 --> 01:15:11,600
Everybody, drink from the ceiling.
1701
01:15:21,599 --> 01:15:22,641
Hey, Mike.
1702
01:15:22,641 --> 01:15:23,724
Hi there.
1703
01:15:23,849 --> 01:15:27,932
You guys have got try these chocolate-covered
strawberries. They're so decadent.
1704
01:15:28,057 --> 01:15:30,390
Oh, no, no. I'm good.
I just had some Bagel Bites.
1705
01:15:31,223 --> 01:15:32,890
Where'd you get Bagel Bites?
1706
01:15:32,181 --> 01:15:33,890
Shh. Forget it.
1707
01:15:34,015 --> 01:15:35,640
Mahalo, freaky people.
1708
01:15:35,765 --> 01:15:39,556
We were thinking it might be fun if we
all went out and made love in the pool.
1709
01:15:39,681 --> 01:15:40,848
Yes, yes.
1710
01:15:41,347 --> 01:15:42,556
Yeah, you wanna go in the pool?
1711
01:15:42,180 --> 01:15:44,597
No. No, no. We're good right here.
We're good.
1712
01:15:44,722 --> 01:15:45,472
Oh, we're okay.
1713
01:15:45,472 --> 01:15:46,222
Yeah.
1714
01:15:46,347 --> 01:15:49,555
Thanks though.
It's chlorinated. Have fun.
1715
01:15:51,930 --> 01:15:54,013
Sue, I'm so happy for you.
1716
01:15:54,137 --> 01:15:57,262
All right, Hey, guys,
could we just get a minute? Just a minute?
1717
01:15:57,387 --> 01:15:59,262
Yeah, just give us a sec,
will you?
1718
01:15:59,387 --> 01:16:02,345
Oh, so sorry.
1719
01:16:02,470 --> 01:16:05,054
We're not giving you enough privacy at an orgy?
1720
01:16:07,762 --> 01:16:08,762
Kind of a fair hit.
1721
01:16:08,679 --> 01:16:09,637
Yeah, now, shh.
1722
01:16:09,762 --> 01:16:11,678
Are you okay?
You wanna talk or something?
1723
01:16:11,803 --> 01:16:14,678
No, no.
Just be in the moment.
1724
01:16:14,803 --> 01:16:17,886
Okay. Yeah, no, can do.
Can do. Okay. Okay.
1725
01:16:20,427 --> 01:16:21,469
Oh, fuck, fuck, fuck.
1726
01:16:21,469 --> 01:16:22,552
Oh, yeah?
1727
01:16:22,677 --> 01:16:24,177
You like to dirty talk?
Yeah?
1728
01:16:24,302 --> 01:16:25,177
Ooh, fuck.
1729
01:16:25,177 --> 01:16:26,052
Okay, you wanna fuck me?
1730
01:16:26,177 --> 01:16:27,594
You wanna fuck me hard?
1731
01:16:27,594 --> 01:16:29,052
No, Sue. Hop off. My foot, my foot.
1732
01:16:29,176 --> 01:16:30,260
Oh, oh, okay.
1733
01:16:30,385 --> 01:16:31,510
Oh, foot cramp.
Oh!
1734
01:16:31,635 --> 01:16:32,968
Okay.
Ooh, that's a doozie.
1735
01:16:33,094 --> 01:16:34,301
Shh. Okay.
All right
1736
01:16:34,426 --> 01:16:37,259
Oh, God,
my big toe's so far away from my other toes.
1737
01:16:37,384 --> 01:16:39,301
Okay, hey.
Hey, flex it out.
1738
01:16:39,426 --> 01:16:41,134
Flex it out.
Flex it, okay.
1739
01:16:41,259 --> 01:16:43,551
Oh, we should have done this 15 years ago.
1740
01:16:44,009 --> 01:16:45,967
Hey, guys.
1741
01:16:45,967 --> 01:16:48,258
I broke my diet.
1742
01:16:51,592 --> 01:16:52,508
Okay. You're good?
1743
01:16:52,508 --> 01:16:53,466
Oh, yeah.
1744
01:16:53,092 --> 01:16:55,008
Yeah? You're good?
Okay. There it goes.
1745
01:16:55,132 --> 01:16:57,508
There it goes.
Oh, wow. Okay.
1746
01:16:57,633 --> 01:16:59,424
Shh! Okay.
Okay. Okay.
1747
01:16:59,549 --> 01:17:02,883
Oh, no, it's back.
It's back worse!
1748
01:17:03,008 --> 01:17:05,132
Ooh, it's...
The little guy is in on it now.
1749
01:17:05,257 --> 01:17:07,924
Hey, gang.
Sake bombs.
1750
01:17:17,297 --> 01:17:18,589
Oh, my God!
1751
01:17:18,714 --> 01:17:21,422
Oh, my God, my dick is having the best night of its life.
1752
01:17:21,422 --> 01:17:24,589
Oh, we're all fucking. Oh, we're all finally fucking.
1753
01:17:24,589 --> 01:17:26,672
Oh, and I can be as loud as I fucking want!
1754
01:17:26,797 --> 01:17:27,881
Oh, no.
Shh, shh.
1755
01:17:30,380 --> 01:17:31,838
Owl Ow,
my contact.
1756
01:17:31,964 --> 01:17:33,421
Alison, my contact.
1757
01:17:33,546 --> 01:17:35,088
I'm good. I'm good. Play through.
1758
01:17:35,088 --> 01:17:36,630
Bro, count me down.
1759
01:17:36,755 --> 01:17:38,005
What?
1760
01:17:38,005 --> 01:17:39,254
Count me down from five.
1761
01:17:39,254 --> 01:17:40,921
What does that even mean?
1762
01:17:40,921 --> 01:17:42,587
Oh, fuck! Count me down from 10.
1763
01:17:42,587 --> 01:17:44,837
Count him down, Adam.
Trust me, just count him down.
1764
01:17:46,295 --> 01:17:48,754
Guys, this whole sex in the pool thing is not working.
1765
01:17:49,378 --> 01:17:51,920
Water is not a lubricant.
1766
01:17:51,545 --> 01:17:54,878
Okay, brothers and sisters.
Let's take this party indoors.
1767
01:17:55,003 --> 01:17:57,670
I'm running with a boner!
1768
01:17:58,003 --> 01:17:59,544
Pineapple mojitos.
1769
01:18:00,878 --> 01:18:02,377
Yeah, mulched with fresh mint.
1770
01:18:04,127 --> 01:18:05,252
Fuck!
1771
01:18:05,377 --> 01:18:06,544
Are you ready?
1772
01:18:06,669 --> 01:18:08,794
As I'll ever be.
1773
01:18:13,209 --> 01:18:15,585
Ooh! I'm next,
I'm next, I'm next.
1774
01:18:16,793 --> 01:18:17,876
Vodka tonic.
1775
01:18:23,417 --> 01:18:26,375
Yo, can I tag in?
1776
01:18:26,500 --> 01:18:29,959
Oh! You're like the sweet,
tender lion.
1777
01:18:30,084 --> 01:18:31,750
Mike, go away.
1778
01:18:31,875 --> 01:18:35,374
You guys haven't slept with anybody else yet.
You're hogging Willow.
1779
01:18:35,500 --> 01:18:37,207
Go away.
1780
01:18:37,333 --> 01:18:39,083
Go away, Mike.
1781
01:18:39,791 --> 01:18:40,874
Vodka.
1782
01:18:42,207 --> 01:18:43,290
Come on.
1783
01:18:43,415 --> 01:18:47,499
Sue, I just wanna say I'm so
sorry about the whole Eric thing.
1784
01:18:47,624 --> 01:18:50,957
No. Totally don't.
It's so over. I don't care.
1785
01:18:51,082 --> 01:18:55,790
No, but you know,
you're a really good friend and I love you.
1786
01:18:55,915 --> 01:19:00,247
No, I love you.
You are so smart and you're so beautiful.
1787
01:19:00,372 --> 01:19:04,122
And I totally get why he would wanna be with you.
1788
01:19:04,247 --> 01:19:05,664
You're the beautiful one.
1789
01:19:05,789 --> 01:19:08,664
Oh, my God,
your body is ridiculous.
1790
01:19:08,789 --> 01:19:10,955
Your body is ridiculous, okay?
1791
01:19:11,081 --> 01:19:14,246
And I would give anything to have your breasts
1792
01:19:14,371 --> 01:19:16,038
just for, like,
one day.
1793
01:19:16,163 --> 01:19:20,621
Yeah, but your ass is off the charts, seriously.
1794
01:19:20,788 --> 01:19:23,162
Okay. I would kill to have your eyes.
1795
01:19:23,162 --> 01:19:27,203
You know that you have the most beautiful green eyes
1796
01:19:27,203 --> 01:19:30,370
that I have ever seen.
1797
01:19:35,870 --> 01:19:37,328
Oh, yeah.
1798
01:19:42,452 --> 01:19:43,244
Oh, yeah
1799
01:19:43,244 --> 01:19:43,994
Oh!
1800
01:19:44,619 --> 01:19:45,911
Wow!
1801
01:19:46,036 --> 01:19:47,243
I saw that.
You see that?
1802
01:19:47,369 --> 01:19:49,243
It looked like a little flash of light.
1803
01:19:49,243 --> 01:19:51,118
I know. I think I just... God.
1804
01:19:51,785 --> 01:19:53,743
I never thought I'd hear myself say this,
1805
01:19:53,868 --> 01:19:56,118
but I'm gonna take a break
1806
01:19:56,243 --> 01:19:59,159
from this girl-on-girl-on-girl action
1807
01:19:59,284 --> 01:20:02,784
and check the score of the Yankee game.
1808
01:20:02,909 --> 01:20:04,951
This feels fucking fabulous.
1809
01:20:09,158 --> 01:20:10,200
Ah, Michael!
1810
01:20:10,825 --> 01:20:11,700
Let's go.
1811
01:20:11,700 --> 01:20:12,575
Are you sure?
1812
01:20:12,700 --> 01:20:14,700
Yes, 100,000 percent sure.
1813
01:20:14,825 --> 01:20:16,075
Let's go. Right now.
1814
01:20:16,075 --> 01:20:17,283
Okay, okay. Let's go.
1815
01:20:17,408 --> 01:20:21,033
You fucking did it. Look at this.
You are awe-inspiring.
1816
01:20:21,157 --> 01:20:22,282
Oh.
1817
01:20:22,407 --> 01:20:23,324
Thank you, Mike.
1818
01:20:23,324 --> 01:20:23,616
No.
1819
01:20:23,741 --> 01:20:28,032
I'm gonna tell you something right now and I
want you to listen because I fucking mean it.
1820
01:20:28,157 --> 01:20:29,740
Okay...
1821
01:20:29,865 --> 01:20:32,824
You could be the president of the United States.
1822
01:20:34,698 --> 01:20:36,573
Well I don't know, not after something like this.
1823
01:20:36,698 --> 01:20:39,990
Hey, shh, no.
I'm fucking serious.
1824
01:20:40,114 --> 01:20:43,197
You could do it if you wanted to.
1825
01:20:43,322 --> 01:20:45,197
Yeah.
1826
01:20:45,322 --> 01:20:47,238
You're getting kind of close, Mike.
1827
01:20:47,364 --> 01:20:48,113
Am I?
1828
01:20:48,113 --> 01:20:48,822
Yeah.
1829
01:20:48,947 --> 01:20:50,238
Oh.
1830
01:20:50,363 --> 01:20:52,697
You're not trying to kiss me,
are you?
1831
01:20:52,822 --> 01:20:54,488
Would it scare you if I was?
1832
01:20:55,363 --> 01:20:57,196
I guess so.
1833
01:20:57,321 --> 01:20:59,696
Fucking kiss chicken, dude.
1834
01:20:59,821 --> 01:21:00,988
It's on.
1835
01:21:00,988 --> 01:21:02,154
All right.
1836
01:21:02,279 --> 01:21:03,988
Let me just set this right here.
1837
01:21:04,112 --> 01:21:05,737
Whatever.
1838
01:21:12,653 --> 01:21:14,070
You scared yet?
1839
01:21:16,361 --> 01:21:17,194
No.
1840
01:21:17,194 --> 01:21:18,361
No?
1841
01:21:18,361 --> 01:21:19,486
Mm-mm.
1842
01:21:19,611 --> 01:21:23,152
How about now?
Touching your nose with my nose.
1843
01:21:23,277 --> 01:21:25,486
It's okay,
I'm part Eskimo.
1844
01:21:25,652 --> 01:21:27,610
We're nose-kissing, buddy.
1845
01:21:27,736 --> 01:21:30,151
It's more than our noses touching right now.
1846
01:21:30,277 --> 01:21:32,652
It's our souls.
1847
01:21:37,610 --> 01:21:39,484
Yeah, that's been brewing for years.
1848
01:21:39,609 --> 01:21:40,943
Well, I think we both won.
1849
01:21:43,026 --> 01:21:44,818
I'm pretty sure we both just lost.
1850
01:21:48,984 --> 01:21:49,942
Tonic.
1851
01:21:49,942 --> 01:21:50,859
Boo!
1852
01:21:53,775 --> 01:21:56,858
Don't stop. Don't stop. Don't stop.
Almost there. Almost there.
1853
01:21:56,983 --> 01:21:59,274
No, don't stop. Don't stop.
Ah! Don't stop.
1854
01:21:59,608 --> 01:22:02,691
It feels so good.
It feels so good, don't stop.
1855
01:22:06,691 --> 01:22:07,732
How about that?
1856
01:22:07,857 --> 01:22:10,315
So how long has this been going on?
1857
01:22:10,440 --> 01:22:11,732
About a half an hour.
1858
01:22:11,857 --> 01:22:13,899
I'm good. I'm gonna...
I'm getting it. Ah!
1859
01:22:14,024 --> 01:22:15,148
Poor bastard.
1860
01:22:15,273 --> 01:22:17,273
Fucking so good.
Aah!
1861
01:22:17,898 --> 01:22:19,231
Hang in there, buddy.
1862
01:22:18,731 --> 01:22:20,189
Almost there.
1863
01:22:20,189 --> 01:22:23,522
Yeah.
Yes. Yes!
1864
01:22:23,648 --> 01:22:25,481
Oh, yeah, yeah.
I'm coming.
1865
01:22:25,606 --> 01:22:28,147
Yes!
Oh, yes!
1866
01:22:28,272 --> 01:22:29,897
Yes, yes, yes!
1867
01:22:30,022 --> 01:22:32,897
Oh, yes!
Yes!
1868
01:22:33,022 --> 01:22:35,897
Yes!
Aah!
1869
01:22:55,353 --> 01:22:58,228
Hey!
Good morning, everybody.
1870
01:22:58,311 --> 01:23:00,436
So, uh,
look what I got.
1871
01:23:00,519 --> 01:23:03,061
Commemorative Labor Day orgy T-shirts right here.
1872
01:23:03,144 --> 01:23:04,561
Pink and blue.
1873
01:23:04,644 --> 01:23:06,853
Unisex, 100 percent cotton.
1874
01:23:06,936 --> 01:23:08,061
You made T-shirts?
1875
01:23:08,143 --> 01:23:09,644
Yup.
Laura.
1876
01:23:09,894 --> 01:23:11,644
Huh?
1877
01:23:12,352 --> 01:23:13,810
Where are we gonna wear these?
1878
01:23:13,894 --> 01:23:16,435
Anywhere.
What do you mean?
1879
01:23:16,935 --> 01:23:20,393
Jesus Christ,
I am hungover like a madman.
1880
01:23:21,643 --> 01:23:23,935
All right, ladies.
Ladies, I got one...
1881
01:23:24,018 --> 01:23:25,642
One easy question for all of you.
1882
01:23:26,100 --> 01:23:29,392
Overall, where would you rank me?
1883
01:23:29,475 --> 01:23:30,934
Just have a bagel and relax.
1884
01:23:31,017 --> 01:23:33,558
Listen, I need to know.
I just... I need to know.
1885
01:23:33,642 --> 01:23:37,516
Well, for me,
there was one clear winner.
1886
01:23:37,600 --> 01:23:41,266
Okay, I know, good. Eric. Blah, blah.
Big surprise. What about this guy?
1887
01:23:41,349 --> 01:23:43,349
I was gonna say Adam.
1888
01:23:43,349 --> 01:23:44,516
Adam.
1889
01:23:44,599 --> 01:23:45,933
What?
1890
01:23:46,016 --> 01:23:48,599
For a neurotic hypochondriac with panic attacks,
1891
01:23:48,682 --> 01:23:51,223
he was really uninhibited.
1892
01:23:51,307 --> 01:23:53,682
So what? Out of the four dudes in the house,
1893
01:23:53,682 --> 01:23:57,181
I didn't even rank in the top two?
That's what you're telling me?
1894
01:23:57,181 --> 01:23:58,389
Didn't I do my move?
1895
01:23:58,473 --> 01:24:01,264
The move with the fingers and the tongue?
The Thoosh?
1896
01:24:02,389 --> 01:24:03,222
Laura.
1897
01:24:03,306 --> 01:24:04,806
Come on, I thooshed you. I know I did.
1898
01:24:04,806 --> 01:24:06,347
You don't need to do it now.
1899
01:24:06,431 --> 01:24:08,180
You did it last night.
We don't need to see it again.
1900
01:24:08,264 --> 01:24:10,056
Yeah.
Can we just eat breakfast?
1901
01:24:12,722 --> 01:24:13,805
It's Marcus.
1902
01:24:17,179 --> 01:24:18,638
Hello?
1903
01:24:19,555 --> 01:24:21,471
Oh, tell him how much we missed him last night.
1904
01:24:23,221 --> 01:24:24,804
Hey.
Everybody's up.
1905
01:24:24,888 --> 01:24:26,013
Hey.
1906
01:24:26,096 --> 01:24:27,387
Morning.
1907
01:24:27,471 --> 01:24:29,971
Hey, man,
about the shit that went down last night...
1908
01:24:30,054 --> 01:24:34,512
Dude. Oh, shit, I'm sorry if I did anything
weird to you or Willow, like, any thooshing.
1909
01:24:34,595 --> 01:24:38,803
Anything like that. I'm sorry.
I was so fucking hammered, I don't remember anything.
1910
01:24:38,887 --> 01:24:40,012
Seriously, nothing?
1911
01:24:40,095 --> 01:24:41,344
You don't remember anything?
1912
01:24:41,344 --> 01:24:42,177
No.
1913
01:24:42,261 --> 01:24:45,886
Nothing.
I remember the fucking absinthe shots and then that's it.
1914
01:24:45,969 --> 01:24:50,469
I'm so bummed, that was gonna be spank
fodder for the next 20 years of my life.
1915
01:24:50,552 --> 01:24:51,760
Total fucking blackout.
1916
01:24:51,760 --> 01:24:52,969
Thank God
1917
01:24:53,052 --> 01:24:54,343
Amen.
1918
01:24:54,427 --> 01:24:55,593
I got something for you.
1919
01:24:55,677 --> 01:24:56,760
Holy shit!
1920
01:24:56,760 --> 01:24:57,843
Dougie.
1921
01:24:57,927 --> 01:24:59,676
I did it.
I got more coming for everybody else.
1922
01:24:59,760 --> 01:25:01,635
Oh, my God, dude,
this is major.
1923
01:25:01,718 --> 01:25:06,467
I wanted hat,
but he was so passionate about no hat.
1924
01:25:06,551 --> 01:25:07,592
No fucking hat.
1925
01:25:07,592 --> 01:25:08,634
Good shit, man.
1926
01:25:08,717 --> 01:25:10,926
Altough, I still would've Photoshopped in the dudes
1927
01:25:11,009 --> 01:25:13,258
schnizzing on your face.
But it's just me.
1928
01:25:13,342 --> 01:25:14,842
You made fucking shirts.
Fuck.
1929
01:25:14,925 --> 01:25:17,425
Yeah. Hey, Willow,
grab one of those.
1930
01:25:17,508 --> 01:25:19,425
It's blue and pink,
my favorite.
1931
01:25:19,508 --> 01:25:21,008
A medium. Awesome.
1932
01:25:21,008 --> 01:25:22,508
Well, well, well,
It's the Breakfast Club.
1933
01:25:22,591 --> 01:25:25,382
Oh, there he is.
Sam Rockwell.
1934
01:25:25,466 --> 01:25:27,757
Ha, yeah,
there you go.
1935
01:25:29,507 --> 01:25:31,841
Thank you, I'm sorry, and you're welcome.
1936
01:25:34,590 --> 01:25:35,840
Still a little sore.
1937
01:25:39,256 --> 01:25:40,381
Hi.
1938
01:25:41,673 --> 01:25:44,297
Yeah, I think we're headed down shortly.
1939
01:25:45,130 --> 01:25:47,006
Yeah, I'll see you there.
1940
01:25:48,048 --> 01:25:49,297
That was Kelly.
1941
01:25:49,297 --> 01:25:50,547
Slut.
1942
01:25:51,547 --> 01:25:53,839
Uh, she's, uh,
1943
01:25:53,839 --> 01:25:56,171
headed to the beach. I'm gonna meet her.
1944
01:25:55,171 --> 01:25:58,254
That's gonna be some awkward shit.
I wanna be front-row center.
1945
01:25:58,338 --> 01:26:00,047
Let's do it.
I'm there.
1946
01:26:01,421 --> 01:26:03,546
Give the ticks a goodbye hug for me, please?
1947
01:26:03,629 --> 01:26:04,671
I will do so.
1948
01:26:04,671 --> 01:26:05,713
Okay.
1949
01:26:11,128 --> 01:26:14,628
I can stay here and hang out with you if...
1950
01:26:14,712 --> 01:26:16,545
Yeah, yes.
1951
01:26:16,670 --> 01:26:17,837
Okay, heh.
1952
01:26:17,920 --> 01:26:21,378
We could, uh,
take a dip in the pool or something.
1953
01:26:21,461 --> 01:26:23,586
Oh, the... Yeah.
I don't know about the pool
1954
01:26:23,628 --> 01:26:25,878
after what happened in there last night.
1955
01:26:27,502 --> 01:26:30,377
But you wanna do the crossword with me?
1956
01:26:31,127 --> 01:26:32,544
I'd love that.
1957
01:26:34,669 --> 01:26:36,502
Uh, 16 Across.
1958
01:26:38,251 --> 01:26:41,334
So, what happened with, uh, you-know-who?
1959
01:26:41,418 --> 01:26:43,126
Marcus apologized for everything.
1960
01:26:43,126 --> 01:26:44,626
He wants to go to couples therapy.
1961
01:26:44,626 --> 01:26:45,918
You're getting back together?
1962
01:26:46,001 --> 01:26:49,209
We're gonna go to city hall,
get married, see if we can make it work.
1963
01:26:49,292 --> 01:26:50,292
What the fuck?
1964
01:26:50,292 --> 01:26:51,292
Just kidding.
1965
01:26:52,709 --> 01:26:56,750
Okay. Yeah, no,
it's totally over.
1966
01:26:56,834 --> 01:26:58,833
Nice.
I'm proud of you.
1967
01:26:58,917 --> 01:27:00,249
Thanks, Sue.
1968
01:27:00,333 --> 01:27:02,750
That's too bad.
I always liked that guy.
1969
01:27:03,374 --> 01:27:05,541
God, I hope Kate has some guys for us.
1970
01:27:05,624 --> 01:27:07,749
Hell, I'd even go to Hoboken.
1971
01:27:07,833 --> 01:27:11,041
I mean, if he's really amazing,
I'd consider going to Jersey City.
1972
01:27:11,123 --> 01:27:12,248
Oh, you would not.
1973
01:27:12,332 --> 01:27:14,415
I'm just making a point.
1974
01:27:14,498 --> 01:27:17,248
Uh, so Eric, um,
last night,
1975
01:27:17,331 --> 01:27:18,957
Some things came up.
1976
01:27:19,040 --> 01:27:21,581
Yeah, I swear.
I had no idea.
1977
01:27:21,082 --> 01:27:23,373
No, it's fine, really.
It was just something
1978
01:27:23,456 --> 01:27:25,498
that I needed to get out of my system.
1979
01:27:32,789 --> 01:27:34,664
I hope she likes my sloppy seconds.
1980
01:27:34,747 --> 01:27:36,705
Oh, come on.
1981
01:27:37,663 --> 01:27:39,163
Morning, Kelly.
1982
01:27:39,163 --> 01:27:40,705
Hey. Morning, Eric.
1983
01:27:40,788 --> 01:27:42,621
Hey.
1984
01:27:42,705 --> 01:27:44,663
Hi Kelly, I'm Mike.
We haven't officially met.
1985
01:27:44,746 --> 01:27:45,830
Nice to meet you.
1986
01:27:45,830 --> 01:27:46,955
Oh, wait, Mike.
1987
01:27:47,038 --> 01:27:50,162
Right.
You're the guy that Dody was asking about.
1988
01:27:50,245 --> 01:27:53,787
She wanted your number for some
kind of business thing or something?
1989
01:27:55,787 --> 01:27:58,286
Ah, what the fuck.
Give her my digits, all right?
1990
01:27:58,370 --> 01:28:00,495
Nice to meet you.
1991
01:28:00,578 --> 01:28:04,286
Let loose the Kraken.
Yeah.
1992
01:28:04,369 --> 01:28:07,202
So wow. Okay.
1993
01:28:07,202 --> 01:28:08,202
About last night.
1994
01:28:08,202 --> 01:28:09,078
How about this?
1995
01:28:09,078 --> 01:28:09,786
What?
1996
01:28:09,786 --> 01:28:11,577
How about this about last night?
1997
01:28:12,285 --> 01:28:15,410
We never talk about it ever, ever again.
1998
01:28:15,410 --> 01:28:17,035
It never happened.
All right?
1999
01:28:17,618 --> 01:28:19,410
You and I have just met.
2000
01:28:19,535 --> 01:28:21,993
We're starting fresh right here,
right now.
2001
01:28:23,534 --> 01:28:25,077
Done.
2002
01:28:26,534 --> 01:28:27,534
Hi, I'm Kelly.
2003
01:28:27,534 --> 01:28:28,617
Hi, Kelly. I'm Eric.
2004
01:28:28,617 --> 01:28:29,242
It's nice to meet you.
2005
01:28:29,242 --> 01:28:30,076
Nice to meet you.
2006
01:28:41,533 --> 01:28:42,741
Hey!
2007
01:28:48,908 --> 01:28:51,115
Your blackberry!
2008
01:28:50,908 --> 01:28:53,657
Ah!
Just an empty symbolic gesture.
2009
01:28:53,782 --> 01:28:55,323
I'm getting a new one on Tuesday.
2010
01:28:55,657 --> 01:28:58,406
But that did
feel really, really good.
2011
01:28:58,615 --> 01:29:01,406
So this is the beach, huh?
2012
01:29:00,907 --> 01:29:02,448
Pretty beautiful.
Who knew?
2013
01:29:02,573 --> 01:29:03,573
This is it.
2014
01:29:03,573 --> 01:29:04,531
Let's go on.
2015
01:29:10,280 --> 01:29:12,073
Okay, listen. I've got some bad news.
2016
01:29:12,073 --> 01:29:13,155
You're al Qaeda.
2017
01:29:13,155 --> 01:29:13,906
No.
2018
01:29:13,906 --> 01:29:16,280
You know the delay I pulled with closing the house?
2019
01:29:16,405 --> 01:29:18,363
It spooked the buyers and they pulled out.
2020
01:29:19,947 --> 01:29:20,738
The house isn't sold, yet?
2021
01:29:20,738 --> 01:29:21,238
No.
2022
01:29:23,571 --> 01:29:24,571
Are you mad?
2023
01:29:24,571 --> 01:29:25,529
No. No, no, no.
2024
01:29:25,654 --> 01:29:27,196
Will you hold on a sec though?
2025
01:29:27,321 --> 01:29:27,905
Hey, guys!
2026
01:29:27,905 --> 01:29:28,487
Yeah?
2027
01:29:28,612 --> 01:29:31,237
Quick announcement.
I have a really shitty Realtor.
2028
01:29:31,362 --> 01:29:32,362
Fire her!
2029
01:29:32,362 --> 01:29:33,362
And she blew the deal.
2030
01:29:33,487 --> 01:29:35,362
And the house still isn't sold.
2031
01:29:39,820 --> 01:29:40,486
They're pissed.
2032
01:29:40,486 --> 01:29:41,111
They're really mad.
2033
01:29:41,236 --> 01:29:42,361
Great, now they're pissed.
2034
01:29:42,361 --> 01:29:43,444
They're mad.
2035
01:29:43,570 --> 01:29:47,194
Now I got shirt thinking of
something to do for Memorial Day.
2036
01:29:47,319 --> 01:29:49,819
We've been kicking around this idea for a brown party.
2037
01:29:49,944 --> 01:29:51,986
You know brown clothes,
brown food.
2038
01:29:53,944 --> 01:29:56,069
Hey, you guys remember Kelly, right?
2039
01:30:35,690 --> 01:30:36,857
What do you want?
2040
01:30:36,982 --> 01:30:38,690
Password's roundelay.
2041
01:30:38,815 --> 01:30:39,940
Who's your connection?
2042
01:30:40,065 --> 01:30:41,690
Dody Henderson. She's our Realtor.
2043
01:30:41,690 --> 01:30:43,898
Oh, Dody. Yeah, she's in the swing.
2044
01:30:43,898 --> 01:30:46,481
Come on in.
Come on, you too.
2045
01:30:50,105 --> 01:30:51,397
Yeah. Okay.
2046
01:31:36,101 --> 01:31:38,061
You say he's just a friend
2047
01:31:38,185 --> 01:31:41,184
Oh, baby, you
2048
01:31:41,310 --> 01:31:44,101
You got what I need
2049
01:31:44,226 --> 01:31:45,309
What?!
2050
01:31:45,434 --> 01:31:47,267
But you say He's just a friend
2051
01:31:47,392 --> 01:31:50,100
What, what But you say he's just a friend
2052
01:31:50,225 --> 01:31:52,684
Oh, baby you
136537
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