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1
00:00:03,270 --> 00:00:05,849
This is Hawaii.
2
00:00:05,873 --> 00:00:08,785
This is a palm tree.
3
00:00:08,809 --> 00:00:12,722
And this is a coconut.
4
00:00:15,549 --> 00:00:18,028
Last week, Fred
and Lamont got here
5
00:00:18,052 --> 00:00:21,398
because of these three crooks.
6
00:00:21,422 --> 00:00:23,333
Now that you stoled
all of these diamonds,
7
00:00:23,357 --> 00:00:24,834
can we go home now?
8
00:00:24,858 --> 00:00:25,869
Right.
9
00:00:25,893 --> 00:00:27,637
Hey, did you check the airport?
10
00:00:27,661 --> 00:00:30,907
Yep. Got cops
all over the place.
11
00:00:30,931 --> 00:00:32,342
We'll never get past them.
12
00:00:32,366 --> 00:00:34,511
How about the cruise ships?
13
00:00:34,535 --> 00:00:36,046
Same thing.
14
00:00:36,070 --> 00:00:37,381
Look, what I reckon,
15
00:00:37,405 --> 00:00:39,416
they're going to search
us from head to toe.
16
00:00:39,440 --> 00:00:41,184
Oh, that sounds like fun.
17
00:00:41,208 --> 00:00:43,020
What this means,
18
00:00:43,044 --> 00:00:45,455
we're going to have to
find some real clean pigeon
19
00:00:45,479 --> 00:00:48,091
to get them diamonds
back into California for us.
20
00:00:48,115 --> 00:00:51,728
This is a pigeon.
21
00:00:51,752 --> 00:00:55,787
And the crooks hid the
diamonds in his suitcase.
22
00:00:57,191 --> 00:00:58,635
Some junk association.
23
00:00:58,659 --> 00:01:01,571
I'll just resign,
that's what I'll do.
24
00:01:01,595 --> 00:01:05,708
Either I broke my glasses, or
we in Zsa Zsa Gabor's old room.
25
00:01:05,732 --> 00:01:07,210
Pop, you didn't
bring your glasses.
26
00:01:07,234 --> 00:01:09,379
These are the diamonds that
everybody's been looking for.
27
00:01:09,403 --> 00:01:11,148
Then by the process
of elimination,
28
00:01:11,172 --> 00:01:12,882
we in big trouble.
29
00:01:12,906 --> 00:01:15,152
They're on their way
home to return the diamonds
30
00:01:15,176 --> 00:01:16,319
to Smitty and Hoppy.
31
00:01:16,343 --> 00:01:17,654
Excuse, please.
32
00:01:17,678 --> 00:01:19,056
Is this the flight
to San Francisco?
33
00:01:19,080 --> 00:01:21,258
Uh, no, sir. Next
counter. Thank you.
34
00:01:21,282 --> 00:01:23,493
Now, sir, checking
these through to L.A.?
35
00:01:23,517 --> 00:01:24,861
Not the black one.
36
00:01:24,885 --> 00:01:26,863
You can't, sir. I'll
check it for you.
37
00:01:26,887 --> 00:01:28,465
No, wait a minute.
Look. You can't...
38
00:01:28,489 --> 00:01:30,449
Don't tell me what I can't...
39
00:01:31,625 --> 00:01:34,065
Remember, they don't
get off this island alive.
40
00:01:35,629 --> 00:01:37,107
We'll be back in a minute
41
00:01:37,131 --> 00:01:39,898
with the conclusion of
"The Hawaiian Connection."
42
00:02:55,276 --> 00:02:56,319
Hey!
43
00:03:03,150 --> 00:03:05,083
Hey!
44
00:03:31,912 --> 00:03:34,724
If you can lose that
car that's following us,
45
00:03:34,748 --> 00:03:37,216
there's a 20 in it for you.
46
00:04:16,490 --> 00:04:19,391
Hey, could you
drive a little faster?
47
00:05:05,306 --> 00:05:07,350
Hey, cabby, we're new in town.
48
00:05:07,374 --> 00:05:08,985
Do you know a
good place to hide?
49
00:05:09,009 --> 00:05:10,787
Just tell me where
you want to go.
50
00:05:10,811 --> 00:05:14,346
Are you familiar
with El Segundo?
51
00:05:23,657 --> 00:05:27,704
All right. Come on. Out!
52
00:05:27,728 --> 00:05:30,139
You don't know where you
wanna go, you'll get out here.
53
00:05:30,163 --> 00:05:31,608
It's enough.
54
00:05:31,632 --> 00:05:33,677
Listen, I'm reporting you to
the Better Business Bureau.
55
00:05:33,701 --> 00:05:36,279
Pop, would you stop arguing
with the man? Let's get out of here.
56
00:05:36,303 --> 00:05:37,614
What about my fare?
57
00:05:37,638 --> 00:05:39,916
Is it fair to drop us in
the middle of nowhere?
58
00:05:39,940 --> 00:05:42,652
Listen, I got a cab here.
There's a meter going, and I...
59
00:05:42,676 --> 00:05:45,610
Hey! Hey!
60
00:05:50,283 --> 00:05:53,151
Okay, we got 'em now. Let's go!
61
00:06:00,861 --> 00:06:03,473
♪ One paddle, two
paddle Three paddle ♪
62
00:06:03,497 --> 00:06:06,443
♪ Four to take me home ♪
63
00:06:06,467 --> 00:06:09,679
♪ Fourteen on the right
Fourteen on the left ♪
64
00:06:09,703 --> 00:06:11,781
♪ Take me to Hawaii nei ♪
65
00:06:11,805 --> 00:06:13,705
♪ No ka best ♪
66
00:06:15,008 --> 00:06:16,553
♪ Take me to my lover ♪
67
00:06:16,577 --> 00:06:20,579
♪ My fair lover
I left long ago ♪
68
00:06:22,182 --> 00:06:24,894
♪ Seen enough sorrow
To last a lifetime ♪
69
00:06:24,918 --> 00:06:27,897
♪ I'm going away no more ♪
70
00:06:27,921 --> 00:06:29,532
♪ Back to Hawaii shore ♪
71
00:06:29,556 --> 00:06:30,700
♪ Singing ♪
72
00:06:30,724 --> 00:06:33,803
♪ One paddle,
paddle Two paddle ♪
73
00:06:33,827 --> 00:06:36,706
♪ Four to take me home ♪
74
00:06:36,730 --> 00:06:39,542
♪ Fourteen on the right
Fourteen on the left ♪
75
00:06:39,566 --> 00:06:41,644
♪ Take me to Hawaii nei ♪
76
00:06:41,668 --> 00:06:43,913
♪ No ka best ♪
77
00:06:43,937 --> 00:06:47,216
♪ Hawaii is the best ♪
78
00:06:47,240 --> 00:06:50,086
♪ Better than the rest ♪
79
00:06:50,110 --> 00:06:52,611
♪ Hawaii no ka best ♪♪
80
00:07:07,294 --> 00:07:10,239
All right, everyone,
all the grandfathers.
81
00:07:10,263 --> 00:07:11,708
Let's have everybody on-stage.
82
00:07:11,732 --> 00:07:14,377
All the grandfathers,
it's your turn.
83
00:07:14,401 --> 00:07:16,078
You a grandfather? Yeah.
84
00:07:16,102 --> 00:07:18,202
Come on up.
85
00:07:19,606 --> 00:07:22,819
♪ Roll out the barrel ♪
86
00:07:22,843 --> 00:07:25,221
♪ We'll have a barrel of fun ♪
87
00:07:25,245 --> 00:07:26,456
Everybody!
88
00:07:26,480 --> 00:07:29,759
♪ Roll out the barrel ♪
89
00:07:29,783 --> 00:07:33,229
♪ We've got the
blues On the run ♪
90
00:07:33,253 --> 00:07:36,800
♪ Sing to the rhythm ♪
91
00:07:36,824 --> 00:07:40,069
♪ Sing out a song
Of good cheer ♪
92
00:07:40,093 --> 00:07:43,072
♪ Now's the time To
roll out the barrel ♪
93
00:07:43,096 --> 00:07:45,909
♪ For the gang's all here ♪♪
94
00:07:45,933 --> 00:07:48,845
Give a nice hand for
the grandpas, everybody.
95
00:07:48,869 --> 00:07:50,669
Give the grandfathers here...
96
00:07:51,872 --> 00:07:53,371
Thank this grandfather.
97
00:07:54,541 --> 00:07:57,275
Yeah! We love your work.
98
00:08:07,420 --> 00:08:09,031
Let's get the car
and get after them
99
00:08:09,055 --> 00:08:11,575
before they get out of sight.
100
00:08:22,435 --> 00:08:24,447
Aloha! I'll take
care of your car.
101
00:08:24,471 --> 00:08:27,338
Thank you.
102
00:09:09,016 --> 00:09:10,627
Yeah, sure. I know, I...
103
00:09:10,651 --> 00:09:12,094
I love you too.
104
00:09:12,118 --> 00:09:17,000
Yeah, but I-I don't... like
you to call me here at the...
105
00:09:17,024 --> 00:09:19,836
Uh... uh, hold on,
darling. I got another call.
106
00:09:19,860 --> 00:09:22,872
Ahem. Uh, chief here.
107
00:09:22,896 --> 00:09:26,843
What? Lost! What? What
do you mean? How did you...?
108
00:09:26,867 --> 00:09:28,477
How could you lose him?
109
00:09:28,501 --> 00:09:29,512
Huh?
110
00:09:29,536 --> 00:09:31,313
You were with Don who?
111
00:09:31,337 --> 00:09:32,916
Oh, Ho.
112
00:09:32,940 --> 00:09:37,153
Yeah. Did you stay
for the whole show?
113
00:09:37,177 --> 00:09:38,287
Aw, that's too bad.
114
00:09:38,311 --> 00:09:39,689
You might have got lucky,
115
00:09:39,713 --> 00:09:41,891
got a chance to get up there
with the other grandfathers
116
00:09:41,915 --> 00:09:43,726
and learn how to do
the hula-hula, huh?
117
00:09:43,750 --> 00:09:45,194
Blong-blong-blong...
118
00:09:45,218 --> 00:09:47,430
No, I agree with
you. Some other time.
119
00:09:47,454 --> 00:09:48,831
Say, listen,
120
00:09:48,855 --> 00:09:52,035
Davis still thinks that
Sanford's got the diamonds.
121
00:09:52,059 --> 00:09:54,070
He's got them stashed
away someplace.
122
00:09:54,094 --> 00:09:57,273
And he's gonna find
out where or kill him.
123
00:09:57,297 --> 00:09:59,442
So go out there and find him.
124
00:09:59,466 --> 00:10:01,210
Get them back.
125
00:10:01,234 --> 00:10:03,167
Right.
126
00:10:04,437 --> 00:10:05,514
Hello?
127
00:10:05,538 --> 00:10:11,175
Oh! Y-yeah, but...
Uh, all right. Tonight.
128
00:10:12,445 --> 00:10:15,213
Out behind Coco Head, dear.
129
00:10:16,282 --> 00:10:17,694
What now?
130
00:10:17,718 --> 00:10:19,295
Now we head back to the airport.
131
00:10:19,319 --> 00:10:20,763
They won't think
of looking there.
132
00:10:20,787 --> 00:10:22,765
Pop, are you sure you
know where you're going?
133
00:10:22,789 --> 00:10:26,124
Sure I know. I got a
built-in compass in my nose.
134
00:10:42,042 --> 00:10:43,920
Now we could use that
compass in your nose.
135
00:10:43,944 --> 00:10:45,722
How would you like
a fist in your mouth?
136
00:10:45,746 --> 00:10:48,057
Pop, what are we doing here?
137
00:10:48,081 --> 00:10:49,926
They only got
fish in this place.
138
00:10:49,950 --> 00:10:51,127
Well, let's have
a tuna sandwich.
139
00:10:51,151 --> 00:10:53,111
We'll figure something
out. Come on.
140
00:11:17,577 --> 00:11:19,255
Okay. Let's go. Come on.
141
00:11:19,279 --> 00:11:22,525
Hey! Aw!
142
00:11:22,549 --> 00:11:26,284
Come on. Get out of there.
143
00:11:37,230 --> 00:11:39,441
Hey, Pop, we're trapped here,
man. They're going to get us.
144
00:11:39,465 --> 00:11:40,977
Listen, son, don't worry.
145
00:11:41,001 --> 00:11:42,378
If they find us, I'll tell them
146
00:11:42,402 --> 00:11:43,980
you forced me to
go along with you.
147
00:11:44,004 --> 00:11:46,437
Thanks a lot, hero.
148
00:12:05,192 --> 00:12:06,635
They gotta be here someplace.
149
00:12:06,659 --> 00:12:07,837
Are you going to shoot them?
150
00:12:07,861 --> 00:12:10,272
Oh, come on.
Don't talk like that.
151
00:12:10,296 --> 00:12:13,275
No, we're just going to find
out where they hid the diamonds.
152
00:12:13,299 --> 00:12:14,410
Oh, good.
153
00:12:14,434 --> 00:12:16,012
Then we'll shoot them.
154
00:12:16,036 --> 00:12:17,446
They've got to be
here someplace.
155
00:12:17,470 --> 00:12:18,803
Let's try the boat.
156
00:12:31,051 --> 00:12:33,229
Anything moves, shoot.
157
00:12:33,253 --> 00:12:35,531
You got it.
158
00:12:39,226 --> 00:12:40,636
Don't move!
159
00:12:40,660 --> 00:12:44,863
All right, get out of there.
160
00:12:46,933 --> 00:12:48,366
You'll never take me alive.
161
00:12:56,777 --> 00:13:00,411
You want to hear my speech
for the panel discussion?
162
00:13:06,253 --> 00:13:07,496
They're going to shoot you.
163
00:13:07,520 --> 00:13:13,236
Gladys, would you kindly
go feed yourself to the fishes?
164
00:13:13,260 --> 00:13:14,637
Glad to see you, Mr. Smith.
165
00:13:14,661 --> 00:13:16,105
Where are the diamonds?
166
00:13:16,129 --> 00:13:18,574
Uh, Africa, mostly. See, I
was reading in this book...
167
00:13:18,598 --> 00:13:21,010
Listen, Brillo-face.
168
00:13:21,034 --> 00:13:23,079
Now, you've got a million
dollars worth of our diamonds.
169
00:13:23,103 --> 00:13:24,113
And we want them.
170
00:13:24,137 --> 00:13:25,514
We don't know where
the diamonds are.
171
00:13:25,538 --> 00:13:26,916
Somebody switched bags with us.
172
00:13:26,940 --> 00:13:28,151
But you found them.
173
00:13:28,175 --> 00:13:30,153
We found them. But we
don't have the diamonds now.
174
00:13:30,177 --> 00:13:31,720
You expect us to believe you?
175
00:13:31,744 --> 00:13:33,122
Believe him.
176
00:13:33,146 --> 00:13:34,824
He used to go to Sunday school.
177
00:13:34,848 --> 00:13:36,225
Sometime we'll set aside a day
178
00:13:36,249 --> 00:13:39,528
to listen to a dissertation
on his religious background.
179
00:13:39,552 --> 00:13:43,933
In the meantime, we want you to
tell us: Where are the diamonds?
180
00:13:43,957 --> 00:13:45,835
And then he's
going to shoot you.
181
00:13:45,859 --> 00:13:48,871
Look, we don't
have the diamonds.
182
00:13:48,895 --> 00:13:51,240
Maybe a couple
of slugs in your toes
183
00:13:51,264 --> 00:13:54,343
will jog your father's memory.
184
00:13:54,367 --> 00:13:56,946
One of you had
better start talking,
185
00:13:56,970 --> 00:14:00,616
or else this kid here is going
to get a .38-caliber pedicure.
186
00:14:00,640 --> 00:14:02,285
You got a count of three.
187
00:14:02,309 --> 00:14:03,286
My baby.
188
00:14:03,310 --> 00:14:04,553
One.
189
00:14:04,577 --> 00:14:05,554
Pop!
190
00:14:05,578 --> 00:14:07,690
And you were
such a great dancer.
191
00:14:07,714 --> 00:14:08,791
Two. Oh, Pop.
192
00:14:08,815 --> 00:14:11,994
Would you stand over there, son?
193
00:14:12,018 --> 00:14:13,684
Freeze!
194
00:14:16,789 --> 00:14:19,135
Give me that.
195
00:14:19,159 --> 00:14:21,437
Get them out of here.
196
00:14:21,461 --> 00:14:24,673
Come on, let's go. Move it.
197
00:14:24,697 --> 00:14:27,543
Hey, thanks. He was
just about to shoot.
198
00:14:27,567 --> 00:14:29,378
We always show
up at the last minute.
199
00:14:29,402 --> 00:14:32,315
But may I say,
that is our style.
200
00:14:32,339 --> 00:14:35,151
Well, I say your style stinks.
201
00:14:35,175 --> 00:14:37,153
You two have a couple
of questions to answer too.
202
00:14:37,177 --> 00:14:38,620
Why? We haven't done anything.
203
00:14:38,644 --> 00:14:39,856
Haven't done anything!
204
00:14:39,880 --> 00:14:41,457
Not returning stolen property.
205
00:14:41,481 --> 00:14:43,993
Not paying for a taxi from
the airport to the nightclub.
206
00:14:44,017 --> 00:14:46,495
Skipping on an $8
cover charge at Don Ho's.
207
00:14:46,519 --> 00:14:49,365
Doing a rotten
hula. Stealing a car.
208
00:14:49,389 --> 00:14:51,633
How's that for a start?
209
00:14:51,657 --> 00:14:53,569
Well, how's this for a finish?
210
00:14:58,899 --> 00:15:01,310
How's your mai tai, Freddy?
211
00:15:01,334 --> 00:15:02,912
Not bad, chief. Good.
212
00:15:02,936 --> 00:15:05,314
Uh, excuse me, chief, do you
think we could go home now?
213
00:15:05,338 --> 00:15:07,283
Aw, I guess so.
214
00:15:07,307 --> 00:15:09,685
You straightened just
about everything out.
215
00:15:09,709 --> 00:15:11,153
Except, of course,
216
00:15:11,177 --> 00:15:15,091
the whereabouts of a million
dollar's worth of diamonds.
217
00:15:15,115 --> 00:15:17,459
Well, we'll pay you
back a dollar a week.
218
00:15:17,483 --> 00:15:20,562
Yeah. Well, at least you
helped us round up the crooks.
219
00:15:20,586 --> 00:15:21,797
That's something, huh?
220
00:15:21,821 --> 00:15:26,235
The diamonds... Ha! The
way it goes sometimes, hey?
221
00:15:26,259 --> 00:15:28,704
Are you going to stop
looking for them now?
222
00:15:28,728 --> 00:15:31,573
Oh, no, no. No, we never stop.
223
00:15:31,597 --> 00:15:35,577
That's our motto here at Five-0.
224
00:15:35,601 --> 00:15:36,601
What's the motto?
225
00:15:38,972 --> 00:15:41,984
"We never stop."
226
00:15:42,008 --> 00:15:43,386
Well, I guess
we'll be going now.
227
00:15:43,410 --> 00:15:44,586
Yeah, your flight
to the mainland
228
00:15:44,610 --> 00:15:46,389
leaves in about an hour.
229
00:15:46,413 --> 00:15:49,325
So aloha and mahalo.
230
00:15:49,349 --> 00:15:52,328
Yeah. Licky-licky,
likey-likey-lukey.
231
00:15:52,352 --> 00:15:54,931
Howdy doody. Aloha.
232
00:15:54,955 --> 00:15:56,232
Yeah, right. Let me show you...
233
00:15:56,256 --> 00:15:58,889
I'm going back to my
little grass shack in Watts.
234
00:16:00,526 --> 00:16:03,105
Yankee aloha... What?
235
00:16:03,129 --> 00:16:07,343
Why, Mr. Sanford.
What a nice surprise.
236
00:16:07,367 --> 00:16:08,577
You didn't stay very long.
237
00:16:08,601 --> 00:16:10,712
Oh, no, we had to cut it short.
238
00:16:10,736 --> 00:16:13,382
Got to dash to Switzerland
to make a deposit.
239
00:16:13,406 --> 00:16:15,184
Well, you're in 5A and B.
240
00:16:15,208 --> 00:16:17,408
Thank you. Let's go, Pop.
241
00:16:18,611 --> 00:16:21,390
Well! If it isn't
Wilbur and Orville.
242
00:16:21,414 --> 00:16:22,425
Right.
243
00:16:22,449 --> 00:16:25,294
Wilbur and Orville Wright. Good.
244
00:16:25,318 --> 00:16:26,462
Good!
245
00:16:29,990 --> 00:16:31,434
It wasn't all that bad, Pop.
246
00:16:31,458 --> 00:16:33,669
At least we got to
spend one day in the sun.
247
00:16:33,693 --> 00:16:36,038
Maybe we'll go
back again soon, son,
248
00:16:36,062 --> 00:16:38,307
in first class, all the way.
249
00:16:38,331 --> 00:16:39,475
You know, Pop,
250
00:16:39,499 --> 00:16:41,177
Hawaii would be
a fantastic place
251
00:16:41,201 --> 00:16:42,711
to spend your honeymoon.
252
00:16:42,735 --> 00:16:44,146
Yeah. Janet would love it.
253
00:16:44,170 --> 00:16:46,482
The three of us would
have a great time.
254
00:16:46,506 --> 00:16:48,484
Would you like to take
a look at the menu?
255
00:16:48,508 --> 00:16:51,075
I'll get your order
in just a minute.
256
00:16:52,645 --> 00:16:56,359
Hey, Pop, before the food comes
and the trays have to go down,
257
00:16:56,383 --> 00:16:58,094
don't you think you
should go wash up?
258
00:16:58,118 --> 00:16:59,395
Am I dirty?
259
00:16:59,419 --> 00:17:01,430
No, see, I don't mean
that you're dirty...
260
00:17:01,454 --> 00:17:02,698
Well, then, say what you mean.
261
00:17:02,722 --> 00:17:05,167
Well, why don't you
go to the bathroom now
262
00:17:05,191 --> 00:17:07,069
so you won't disrupt
everybody's meal?
263
00:17:07,093 --> 00:17:09,438
Look, don't treat
me like I'm a baby.
264
00:17:09,462 --> 00:17:11,440
I'm old enough to
know when I got to go
265
00:17:11,464 --> 00:17:12,908
and when I don't have to go.
266
00:17:12,932 --> 00:17:14,776
I'm not a baby. Okay. I'm sorry.
267
00:17:14,800 --> 00:17:18,436
Well, then, out of
the way. I got to tinkle.
268
00:17:23,976 --> 00:17:25,721
Oh, it's you again.
269
00:17:25,745 --> 00:17:27,056
Yeah, me again.
270
00:17:27,080 --> 00:17:28,557
But at least I got an excuse.
271
00:17:28,581 --> 00:17:30,226
How come you going home so soon?
272
00:17:30,250 --> 00:17:31,527
I couldn't get a room,
273
00:17:31,551 --> 00:17:34,363
all because of some
dumb junk convention.
274
00:17:34,387 --> 00:17:35,797
Junk convention?
275
00:17:35,821 --> 00:17:39,235
You should have stayed
on as one of the displays.
276
00:17:39,259 --> 00:17:42,405
Listen, fuzz face,
277
00:17:42,429 --> 00:17:47,376
you make one move toward
that washroom door before me
278
00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:51,047
and you get flushed
into the Pacific.
279
00:17:51,071 --> 00:17:53,015
Oh, yeah?
280
00:17:53,039 --> 00:17:56,607
Yeah. Yeah?
281
00:18:06,652 --> 00:18:09,587
Ahem. I'll go later.
282
00:18:11,591 --> 00:18:13,402
Are they here yet?
283
00:18:13,426 --> 00:18:15,504
In a minute. They'll call
when they're landing.
284
00:18:15,528 --> 00:18:17,606
They weren't supposed
to be back for a week.
285
00:18:17,630 --> 00:18:19,741
I guess Fred missed me.
286
00:18:19,765 --> 00:18:21,243
Yeah, that's right.
287
00:18:21,267 --> 00:18:23,701
Unless he can insult somebody,
he can't have a good time.
288
00:18:24,770 --> 00:18:27,015
Aloha! We're here!
289
00:18:27,039 --> 00:18:28,784
Oh, welcome home, Fred.
290
00:18:28,808 --> 00:18:30,386
How come you're
back so early, Fred?
291
00:18:30,410 --> 00:18:33,155
Ah, it's a long story, Bubba.
292
00:18:33,179 --> 00:18:34,690
You'll probably
hear it on the news.
293
00:18:34,714 --> 00:18:36,559
You got into some kind
of trouble, didn't you?
294
00:18:36,583 --> 00:18:39,795
Uh-uh. Not till I looked at you.
295
00:18:39,819 --> 00:18:41,263
Hey, what happened, Pop?
296
00:18:41,287 --> 00:18:42,698
Well, pull up a pineapple
297
00:18:42,722 --> 00:18:45,968
and I'll make you a mai
tai and tell you all about it.
298
00:18:45,992 --> 00:18:49,438
You see...
299
00:18:49,462 --> 00:18:51,507
And so I'm a national
hero of Waikiki.
300
00:18:51,531 --> 00:18:53,008
See, I captured the crooks
301
00:18:53,032 --> 00:18:55,511
and I'm an honorary
member of Hawaii Five-0.
302
00:18:55,535 --> 00:18:57,079
Lamont helped too.
303
00:18:57,103 --> 00:18:58,814
Hey, that's fantastic, Fred.
304
00:18:58,838 --> 00:19:01,250
Especially the part where
Don Ho didn't show up
305
00:19:01,274 --> 00:19:02,684
and you did the whole show.
306
00:19:02,708 --> 00:19:04,820
Yeah. Especially that part.
307
00:19:04,844 --> 00:19:06,622
And when you fought
the sharks to save Lamont!
308
00:19:06,646 --> 00:19:07,756
That was wonderful.
309
00:19:07,780 --> 00:19:10,526
Thanks, Jaws.
310
00:19:10,550 --> 00:19:13,061
Hey, Pop, look,
all this is cool, man,
311
00:19:13,085 --> 00:19:14,730
but what really happened
to the diamonds?
312
00:19:14,754 --> 00:19:16,832
Well, they got
turned into cameras.
313
00:19:16,856 --> 00:19:20,702
Somebody's walking around
with a suitcase with a false bottom.
314
00:19:20,726 --> 00:19:24,595
Well, it can't be Esther,
because hers is real.
315
00:19:25,731 --> 00:19:27,709
Well, at least you
saw Hawaii, man.
316
00:19:27,733 --> 00:19:29,311
Yeah, and it didn't
cost us anything.
317
00:19:29,335 --> 00:19:31,435
Come in!
318
00:19:34,740 --> 00:19:38,287
You are Mr. Fred G. Sanford?
319
00:19:38,311 --> 00:19:40,722
That's me. Want
to take a picture?
320
00:19:40,746 --> 00:19:43,125
Get one of her. Save
you a trip to the zoo.
321
00:19:43,149 --> 00:19:45,494
Hey, Pop, that
looks like our bag.
322
00:19:45,518 --> 00:19:47,763
That's right. All right,
thief, hand it over.
323
00:19:47,787 --> 00:19:49,198
It was an accident.
324
00:19:49,222 --> 00:19:51,300
I must have picked
it up in Honolulu.
325
00:19:51,324 --> 00:19:54,470
Your name was in it.
So you must have mine.
326
00:19:54,494 --> 00:19:55,837
That's right.
327
00:19:55,861 --> 00:19:58,740
You have my cameras,
and I need them.
328
00:19:58,764 --> 00:20:02,010
And I have your underwear,
329
00:20:02,034 --> 00:20:05,135
and you probably need them.
330
00:20:06,206 --> 00:20:07,483
That's the bag, son.
331
00:20:07,507 --> 00:20:09,851
You are very honest family.
332
00:20:09,875 --> 00:20:11,953
Your bag was worthless.
333
00:20:11,977 --> 00:20:14,190
Worthless? Are you kidding?
334
00:20:14,214 --> 00:20:16,225
Hey, Bubba, why don't
you go out in the blizzard
335
00:20:16,249 --> 00:20:20,296
and freeze your brain and
wait till they get a cure for it?
336
00:20:20,320 --> 00:20:21,330
Here's your bag, sir.
337
00:20:21,354 --> 00:20:24,567
Thank you. And sayonara.
338
00:20:24,591 --> 00:20:26,524
And Sarah Vaughan.
339
00:20:30,230 --> 00:20:31,307
Aloha.
340
00:20:31,331 --> 00:20:33,598
A loafer.
341
00:20:40,072 --> 00:20:41,850
Hey, wait a minute!
Wait a minute! Hold it.
342
00:20:41,874 --> 00:20:43,985
Hold it! Hold it.
343
00:20:44,009 --> 00:20:46,188
Put that down and sit down.
344
00:20:46,212 --> 00:20:47,789
Man, they must
be worth a fortune!
345
00:20:47,813 --> 00:20:51,527
Just sit down and keep your
hands where I can see them.
346
00:20:51,551 --> 00:20:53,995
Now you can be a greater hero!
347
00:20:54,019 --> 00:20:56,232
Returning the diamonds,
348
00:20:56,256 --> 00:20:59,000
saving the insurance
company all that money,
349
00:20:59,024 --> 00:21:02,404
being a good
person, being honest,
350
00:21:02,428 --> 00:21:04,707
giving back most
of these valuables
351
00:21:04,731 --> 00:21:06,542
and the rest to my church.
352
00:21:06,566 --> 00:21:07,665
Oh, glory!
353
00:21:08,968 --> 00:21:11,580
Are you crazy?
354
00:21:11,604 --> 00:21:14,950
Are you crazy?
355
00:21:14,974 --> 00:21:17,185
I ain't giving nothing back.
356
00:21:17,209 --> 00:21:19,355
What are you talking about, Pop?
357
00:21:19,379 --> 00:21:22,491
I'm talking about
first-class living.
358
00:21:22,515 --> 00:21:27,529
Everything you always wanted.
Money, mansions, motels.
359
00:21:27,553 --> 00:21:29,197
Hi, everybody.
360
00:21:29,221 --> 00:21:30,599
And a suite at San Quentin.
361
00:21:30,623 --> 00:21:32,868
Say, what are you doing
here? Where's Hoppy?
362
00:21:32,892 --> 00:21:35,437
He moved over to
Vice for a month or so.
363
00:21:35,461 --> 00:21:37,839
I just came back to
welcome you from the tropics
364
00:21:37,863 --> 00:21:39,508
and to introduce you
to my new partner.
365
00:21:39,532 --> 00:21:43,167
This is Percy. Oh,
how do you do?
366
00:21:45,705 --> 00:21:47,082
Well!
367
00:21:47,106 --> 00:21:48,317
Golly!
368
00:21:48,341 --> 00:21:50,586
I hate to tell you this,
369
00:21:50,610 --> 00:21:51,887
but I just found some diamonds,
370
00:21:51,911 --> 00:21:54,290
should be where
your underpants are.
371
00:21:54,314 --> 00:21:57,626
How would you like a
fist where your nose is?
372
00:21:57,650 --> 00:21:59,628
Hey, those are some
pretty nice souvenirs.
373
00:21:59,652 --> 00:22:01,463
Those diamonds are real, Smitty.
374
00:22:01,487 --> 00:22:02,998
Not only that, they're stolen.
375
00:22:03,022 --> 00:22:05,423
No, they aren't.
They're right there.
376
00:22:06,526 --> 00:22:08,003
I'm going to call Hawaii Five-0.
377
00:22:08,027 --> 00:22:11,106
Fred was just going to return
them to the rightful owners.
378
00:22:11,130 --> 00:22:13,342
Hey, wait a minute! I get it.
379
00:22:13,366 --> 00:22:15,711
The Honolulu heist.
And this is the loot.
380
00:22:15,735 --> 00:22:17,045
You're a hero, Fred!
381
00:22:17,069 --> 00:22:19,147
Wonderful, isn't it?
382
00:22:19,171 --> 00:22:21,583
Yeah, maybe there's
a reward, Fred.
383
00:22:21,607 --> 00:22:23,319
Sure, the diamonds
are worth a million.
384
00:22:23,343 --> 00:22:25,521
They're bound to
give us 10,000 or so.
385
00:22:25,545 --> 00:22:27,790
That's right, commander,
in a false compartment.
386
00:22:27,814 --> 00:22:29,458
Right. Fine.
387
00:22:29,482 --> 00:22:30,859
Well, we're going
to turn them over
388
00:22:30,883 --> 00:22:33,662
to Officer Smith
here of the L.A.P.D.
389
00:22:33,686 --> 00:22:34,663
Reward?
390
00:22:34,687 --> 00:22:36,231
I told you, Bubba.
391
00:22:36,255 --> 00:22:37,899
Well, hey! Thank you very much.
392
00:22:37,923 --> 00:22:40,836
And aloha to you too.
393
00:22:40,860 --> 00:22:41,837
How much?
394
00:22:41,861 --> 00:22:43,238
He was a very happy man, Pop.
395
00:22:43,262 --> 00:22:44,406
Who cares? How much?
396
00:22:44,430 --> 00:22:46,408
He said to tell you
you are a fine person.
397
00:22:46,432 --> 00:22:47,643
How much?
398
00:22:47,667 --> 00:22:49,478
He said that honesty is
a rare thing nowadays.
399
00:22:49,502 --> 00:22:50,713
How much, dummy?
400
00:22:50,737 --> 00:22:52,113
Five hundred dollars.
401
00:22:52,137 --> 00:22:53,949
Five hundred? Are they kidding?
402
00:22:53,973 --> 00:22:58,253
It'll make a nice donation to
the church, praise the Lord.
403
00:22:58,277 --> 00:23:00,556
Yeah, look here, Pop, it's
better than nothing, man.
404
00:23:00,580 --> 00:23:02,591
I'll just take them
along to the station.
405
00:23:02,615 --> 00:23:04,593
I'm proud of you, Fred.
406
00:23:04,617 --> 00:23:06,762
Here's some mail that
was waiting outside.
407
00:23:06,786 --> 00:23:08,364
See you later.
408
00:23:08,388 --> 00:23:12,133
Yeah, and remember, a
man's best friend is his dog.
409
00:23:12,157 --> 00:23:14,603
A woman's best
friend is her diamonds.
410
00:23:14,627 --> 00:23:17,194
And a lot of women are dogs.
411
00:23:26,406 --> 00:23:30,819
Those dirty, low-down
thieving crooks!
412
00:23:30,843 --> 00:23:32,187
What is it, Pop?
413
00:23:32,211 --> 00:23:33,955
It's a bill for the
plane tickets.
414
00:23:33,979 --> 00:23:35,891
Five hundred and six dollars!
415
00:23:35,915 --> 00:23:38,394
We got to pay
for the plane fare.
416
00:23:38,418 --> 00:23:41,497
Where we going to get the
money? There's the $500 reward.
417
00:23:41,521 --> 00:23:42,831
I know about the reward,
418
00:23:42,855 --> 00:23:45,188
but where are we going
to get the six bucks?
29913
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