Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:09,710 --> 00:00:12,510
Frank >> C'mon, c'mon!
Run after it, you lazy bum.
2
00:00:12,580 --> 00:00:14,480
[gurgling]
Whatta ya doin'?
3
00:00:14,548 --> 00:00:17,018
Stupid blockheads,
you had this game.
4
00:00:17,118 --> 00:00:22,658
[telephone rings]
5
00:00:22,723 --> 00:00:26,233
Janitorial.
No, Principal Nuss,
6
00:00:26,294 --> 00:00:29,134
that spill's gonna take a few
more hours to clean up.
7
00:00:29,197 --> 00:00:32,197
Hey, I'm really sorry about
all this extra overtime
8
00:00:32,266 --> 00:00:35,236
I'm racking up, but believe me
I'm working my butt off.
9
00:00:35,303 --> 00:00:39,043
Okay.
[crowd cheering on TV]
10
00:00:39,107 --> 00:00:41,477
Ah, come on!
11
00:00:41,575 --> 00:00:46,075
[gurgles]
12
00:00:46,147 --> 00:00:48,747
[crash]
13
00:00:48,816 --> 00:00:56,216
[crowd cheering on TV]
14
00:00:56,324 --> 00:01:02,364
[gurgles]
15
00:01:02,363 --> 00:01:09,943
[gurgles]
16
00:01:10,003 --> 00:01:12,373
Come on!
17
00:01:12,440 --> 00:01:15,310
Ahh!
[sizzle]
18
00:01:15,409 --> 00:01:19,579
[gurgles]
19
00:01:21,549 --> 00:01:30,959
[gurgles]
20
00:01:31,024 --> 00:01:33,464
[splat]
Ahhhh!
21
00:01:33,527 --> 00:01:36,957
[faint sizzle]
22
00:01:39,167 --> 00:01:45,567
***
23
00:01:45,573 --> 00:01:53,183
***
24
00:01:53,181 --> 00:01:59,591
***
25
00:01:59,587 --> 00:02:07,197
***
26
00:02:07,261 --> 00:02:13,601
***
27
00:02:13,601 --> 00:02:21,211
***
28
00:02:21,209 --> 00:02:23,539
***
29
00:02:28,115 --> 00:02:31,045
and I found out that Vincentio
is younger than Kyle
30
00:02:31,118 --> 00:02:34,218
who plays his own son.
Ha ha ha.
31
00:02:34,288 --> 00:02:36,488
But, that's the
magic of theatre.
32
00:02:36,557 --> 00:02:38,687
As you'll see, assuming
you've purchased your tickets
33
00:02:38,759 --> 00:02:41,329
to my show tomorrow.
And if you haven't,
34
00:02:41,395 --> 00:02:43,925
as the star of the show,
I have set tickets aside.
35
00:02:43,997 --> 00:02:46,127
>> Darn.
Jake >> Pay up, dude.
36
00:02:46,234 --> 00:02:48,104
Seven minutes,
forty-three seconds.
37
00:02:48,236 --> 00:02:50,036
Told you she couldn't go
ten minutes without saying
38
00:02:50,103 --> 00:02:52,113
she was the "star
of the school play".
39
00:02:52,240 --> 00:02:54,110
Hayley >> This play is
really important to me.
40
00:02:54,242 --> 00:02:56,112
One of the biggest nights of
my life and you're betting on is
41
00:02:56,244 --> 00:02:58,114
disrespectful and unsupportive.
Stockley >> People, we still
42
00:02:58,246 --> 00:03:00,546
have a monster running
around Lakewood High.
43
00:03:00,614 --> 00:03:03,154
Let's stay focused
on what's important.
44
00:03:03,251 --> 00:03:05,151
Jake >> I've got it!
I'll ask Claudia to go
45
00:03:05,253 --> 00:03:07,293
to the school play with me.
>> Darn!
46
00:03:07,355 --> 00:03:09,255
Hayley >> Nine minutes,
twenty-two seconds.
47
00:03:09,290 --> 00:03:11,290
Pay up.
>> Dude, I can't believe
48
00:03:11,359 --> 00:03:13,289
you guys were betting on me.
Felix >> Seriously?
49
00:03:13,361 --> 00:03:15,261
You've spent the past five days
talking about how you're going
50
00:03:15,296 --> 00:03:17,266
to ask this girl out
and you never do.
51
00:03:17,331 --> 00:03:19,271
Hayley >> Yeah, it's
kind of annoying.
52
00:03:19,333 --> 00:03:21,273
Or, as my character in
the 'Taming of The Shrew'
53
00:03:21,335 --> 00:03:24,605
by William Shakespeare
would say, "most vexing."
54
00:03:24,672 --> 00:03:26,912
>> Dude, I've been into Claudia
Forlani since kindergarten.
55
00:03:26,974 --> 00:03:28,844
>> Why don't you just
ask her out, already?
56
00:03:28,909 --> 00:03:31,079
>> I did.
In the first grade.
57
00:03:31,144 --> 00:03:33,784
But I had a booger on
my chin and she said no.
58
00:03:33,847 --> 00:03:36,377
To this day, I claim
that wasn't mine.
59
00:03:36,450 --> 00:03:38,850
And ever since then she's
always had a boyfriend.
60
00:03:38,919 --> 00:03:41,149
She's available now but when she
gets her braces off next week,
61
00:03:41,289 --> 00:03:43,289
she's senior bait for sure.
62
00:03:43,357 --> 00:03:45,757
>> You know when she's
getting her braces off?
63
00:03:45,826 --> 00:03:48,926
>> I overheard her
talking to her friends
64
00:03:48,996 --> 00:03:51,796
when I happened to be
hiding in the bushes.
65
00:03:54,201 --> 00:03:58,741
We've all been there, right?
Felix >> Eh, uh, eep.
66
00:03:58,806 --> 00:04:00,766
>> Okay, people.
Don't be late for homeroom,
67
00:04:00,841 --> 00:04:02,881
we'll clean this up later.
68
00:04:02,943 --> 00:04:04,883
I'll tell maintenance that
the toilets are flooding here.
69
00:04:04,945 --> 00:04:06,975
That usually keeps
them away for hours.
70
00:04:07,047 --> 00:04:09,747
In the meantime, if you need me,
I'll be in the cafeteria
71
00:04:09,817 --> 00:04:11,687
waiting on the lemon squares.
>> Ah ha ha!
72
00:04:11,752 --> 00:04:13,752
Lemon squares!
73
00:04:13,821 --> 00:04:15,721
Thirteen minutes
and seven seconds.
74
00:04:15,789 --> 00:04:17,759
He actually made it
past ten minutes.
75
00:04:17,825 --> 00:04:19,925
Pay up, losers.
Oh, thank you.
76
00:04:21,962 --> 00:04:24,002
[school bell rings]
77
00:04:24,064 --> 00:04:26,034
>> Hey, Claudia.
>> Hi, Jake.
78
00:04:26,099 --> 00:04:27,899
>> I need to ask you something.
>> Go ahead.
79
00:04:27,968 --> 00:04:30,238
Jake >> Okay.
80
00:04:30,338 --> 00:04:32,438
Can I ask you
something at lunch?
81
00:04:32,506 --> 00:04:35,576
>> You're asking me now if you
can ask me something at lunch?
82
00:04:35,643 --> 00:04:38,583
>> I guess.
>> Well, okay.
83
00:04:38,646 --> 00:04:40,606
>> Yes!
84
00:04:42,650 --> 00:04:44,720
Hayley >> Hey, Etienne.
85
00:04:44,785 --> 00:04:46,645
Why weren't you at
rehearsal yesterday?
86
00:04:46,720 --> 00:04:48,660
>> The only moments in that play
worth rehearsing is our kiss.
87
00:04:48,722 --> 00:04:51,462
Which I willing
to rehearse anytime.
88
00:04:51,592 --> 00:04:53,732
>> You are totally gross.
89
00:04:55,829 --> 00:04:58,629
>> Okay, I don't get many kisses
in regular life but I've managed
90
00:04:58,699 --> 00:05:01,199
to get a kiss is every single
play I've ever been in.
91
00:05:01,268 --> 00:05:04,538
Kind of my thing.
When I was Tony, I kissed Maria.
92
00:05:04,605 --> 00:05:06,805
When I was Captain Von
Trapp, I kissed Maria.
93
00:05:06,874 --> 00:05:08,684
And it wasn't easy, but
I managed to work a kiss
94
00:05:08,742 --> 00:05:10,782
into 'Twelve Angry Men'.
95
00:05:10,844 --> 00:05:13,954
And now fate has chosen you,
Hayley, to be my next kiss.
96
00:05:14,014 --> 00:05:16,524
Catch you at rehearsal.
97
00:05:16,584 --> 00:05:19,524
Felix >> I've narrowed it
down to three suspects:
98
00:05:19,587 --> 00:05:22,017
an Australian Elephant Bat,
a Gelatinous Cube Monster,
99
00:05:22,089 --> 00:05:24,629
or a Slithering Fanged Bantoo.
100
00:05:24,692 --> 00:05:26,632
Most other monsters would
eat their cloths and boots.
101
00:05:26,694 --> 00:05:28,634
>> Dude, just point me to the
monster and I'll take it down.
102
00:05:28,696 --> 00:05:31,466
>> Puh-lease, I made the last
three captures this month.
103
00:05:31,532 --> 00:05:33,872
Which is pretty good considering
how much rehearsal I've had.
104
00:05:33,934 --> 00:05:36,044
Jake >> Since you're
such a good actor,
105
00:05:36,103 --> 00:05:38,613
can you act like someone who's
not so impressed with herself!
106
00:05:38,672 --> 00:05:40,742
Hayley >> Oh, I am
so sick of you...
107
00:05:40,808 --> 00:05:42,738
>> Hey guys, I think...
>> Hold on, Felix.
108
00:05:42,810 --> 00:05:45,680
Hayley was just about to bore
us with more theatre talk.
109
00:05:45,746 --> 00:05:47,746
Felix >> But...
>> No! I totally want to hear
110
00:05:47,815 --> 00:05:50,145
more about the fascinating saga
of your booger-crossed love
111
00:05:50,217 --> 00:05:52,147
of Claudia Forlani!
>> Seriously...
112
00:05:52,219 --> 00:05:54,149
>> For your information, I
asked her IF I could ask her...
113
00:05:54,221 --> 00:05:56,161
Felix >> Guys!
It's a Cube Monster!
114
00:05:56,223 --> 00:05:58,093
Right, right there!
Run!
115
00:05:58,158 --> 00:06:00,488
[Hayley screams]
[gurgles]
116
00:06:00,561 --> 00:06:02,501
[Jake grunts]
117
00:06:02,563 --> 00:06:04,673
Felix >> No!
118
00:06:04,765 --> 00:06:12,035
[gurgles]
119
00:06:12,105 --> 00:06:15,775
[rustling]
120
00:06:15,843 --> 00:06:18,853
[heavy breathing]
121
00:06:18,946 --> 00:06:21,206
[gurgles]
122
00:06:21,281 --> 00:06:23,121
[boom, splat]
Ohh!
123
00:06:23,216 --> 00:06:25,216
[coughs]
124
00:06:25,285 --> 00:06:27,245
[splat]
Ahh!
125
00:06:27,320 --> 00:06:29,620
Felix >> You all right?
Hayley, are you hurt?
126
00:06:29,690 --> 00:06:31,460
>> Huh? Why you
calling me Hayley?
127
00:06:31,559 --> 00:06:34,229
I'm Jake.
128
00:06:34,294 --> 00:06:36,604
Why did the monster
paint my finger nails?
129
00:06:36,664 --> 00:06:38,974
Ha ha.
Hey...
130
00:06:39,032 --> 00:06:41,942
why do I smell so good?
131
00:06:42,002 --> 00:06:44,002
>> If you're Jake, then...
132
00:06:47,975 --> 00:06:50,305
Hayley?
Is that you?
133
00:06:50,377 --> 00:06:52,377
>> Like who else would it be?
134
00:06:57,785 --> 00:07:05,055
[all scream]
135
00:07:10,498 --> 00:07:13,128
of water, and as we all know,
salt is a natural enemy
136
00:07:13,200 --> 00:07:15,300
to any water-based life forms...
137
00:07:15,402 --> 00:07:17,842
[Hayley and Jake argue]
138
00:07:17,905 --> 00:07:19,905
>> Enough!
139
00:07:19,973 --> 00:07:22,513
All this bickering is putting
me off my lemon square.
140
00:07:22,510 --> 00:07:24,650
Oh, who am I kidding?
Lemon square,
141
00:07:24,712 --> 00:07:28,282
I can not resist you.
[moans]
142
00:07:28,348 --> 00:07:32,018
>> I think I surprised the Cube
before it digested Jake
143
00:07:32,085 --> 00:07:34,145
and Hayley, and when
it spit them back out,
144
00:07:34,221 --> 00:07:36,391
it somehow switched
their personalities.
145
00:07:36,524 --> 00:07:39,194
>> Let me print out everything
we've got on gelatinous cubes.
146
00:07:39,259 --> 00:07:42,529
[click, whir of printer]
147
00:07:48,669 --> 00:07:50,639
Felix >> Mr...ah.
148
00:07:54,642 --> 00:07:56,812
"Gelatinous Cube Monster
- Cube-shape,
149
00:07:56,877 --> 00:07:58,947
consistency of gelatin."
150
00:07:59,012 --> 00:08:01,012
>> That's it?
>> I know,
151
00:08:01,081 --> 00:08:02,981
what an opportunity to fill in
the gaps of our knowledge.
152
00:08:03,050 --> 00:08:04,990
>> Let's talk about what
everyone is really thinking.
153
00:08:05,052 --> 00:08:07,192
How are we ever going to figure
out a way to switch back
154
00:08:07,254 --> 00:08:09,364
before my date to ask
Claudia out on a date?
155
00:08:09,422 --> 00:08:11,262
Hayley >> I was thinking more
about how I can change back
156
00:08:11,324 --> 00:08:13,364
before you ruin my play.
157
00:08:13,426 --> 00:08:16,256
>> I can't believe you people
can be so myopic when there are
158
00:08:16,329 --> 00:08:19,969
such beautiful lemon squares
sitting right in front of you.
159
00:08:20,033 --> 00:08:22,003
Ahh.
160
00:08:24,037 --> 00:08:26,337
[thump]
The Cube isn't something
161
00:08:26,406 --> 00:08:28,336
we've seen much for
the last 500 years.
162
00:08:28,408 --> 00:08:30,308
Maybe there's something about
were fighting in there.
163
00:08:32,379 --> 00:08:35,149
The Grimoire.
This is the best day of my life.
164
00:08:35,215 --> 00:08:37,145
Hayley >> I've never
been so sweaty.
165
00:08:37,217 --> 00:08:40,187
Do boys always sweat like this?
Jake >> You're complaining.
166
00:08:40,253 --> 00:08:42,823
I've got these weird
straps digging in me,
167
00:08:42,890 --> 00:08:46,130
things stabbing my ears, and how
tight do you need your jeans?
168
00:08:46,193 --> 00:08:48,203
Stockley >> Settle down.
169
00:08:48,261 --> 00:08:50,261
Now if you want to have
chance of switching back,
170
00:08:50,330 --> 00:08:52,200
we have to figure out how to
bring the Cube back to help.
171
00:08:52,265 --> 00:08:54,995
Maybe we should find out what
it wants to eat for lunch.
172
00:08:55,068 --> 00:08:56,998
Jake >> Lunch.
Oh, no.
173
00:08:57,070 --> 00:08:59,010
I was suppose to meet Claudia.
I can't stand her up.
174
00:08:59,072 --> 00:09:01,172
Hayley, you've gotta go for me.
175
00:09:01,241 --> 00:09:03,211
>> Like that's gonna happen.
Whatevs.
176
00:09:03,310 --> 00:09:05,250
>> Dude, please, you've got to.
177
00:09:05,312 --> 00:09:07,212
>> Claudia's not even my type.
178
00:09:07,280 --> 00:09:09,880
>> You want to play hardball?
179
00:09:09,950 --> 00:09:13,250
Two words: Hayley
gets a buzz cut.
180
00:09:16,489 --> 00:09:18,489
>> Coming!
181
00:09:18,626 --> 00:09:20,956
>> Hi, Jake.
>> Hi, Claudia.
182
00:09:21,028 --> 00:09:25,128
Wait, did you change your part?
>> Yeah, I did.
183
00:09:25,198 --> 00:09:26,968
You're the first boy
who's noticed.
184
00:09:27,034 --> 00:09:29,144
You, ah, like it?
185
00:09:29,202 --> 00:09:31,712
>> Yeah, it really
frames your face well.
186
00:09:31,772 --> 00:09:34,912
>> Yeah, it makes your
face look really...
187
00:09:34,975 --> 00:09:36,905
round.
188
00:09:36,977 --> 00:09:38,977
>> Ah, thanks, Hayley.
189
00:09:39,046 --> 00:09:41,046
So, you wanted to
ask me something?
190
00:09:41,114 --> 00:09:45,454
>> Yeah, let me just tell you,
I've had a crush on you forever
191
00:09:45,518 --> 00:09:47,658
and I've been too nervous
to approach you.
192
00:09:47,655 --> 00:09:51,755
>> I can't believe you'd admit
something like that...to her.
193
00:09:51,825 --> 00:09:54,285
Hayley >> I was thinking that
you totally deserve a guy
194
00:09:54,361 --> 00:09:56,801
that would listen to you and do
things that you'd want to do,
195
00:09:56,864 --> 00:10:00,674
whether it's shopping or
eating popcorn and talking.
196
00:10:00,734 --> 00:10:02,674
>> I was just thinking
the same thing.
197
00:10:02,736 --> 00:10:04,866
Would you like to go with me
to Hayley's play tomorrow night?
198
00:10:04,938 --> 00:10:07,238
>> I'd love to.
>> Score!
199
00:10:10,143 --> 00:10:13,313
>> Well, pick me up around six?
Both >> Great!
200
00:10:19,987 --> 00:10:21,957
[smack]
201
00:10:25,558 --> 00:10:27,558
Jake >> Dude, thank you so much.
That was like totally perfect.
202
00:10:27,627 --> 00:10:29,427
Hayley >> How's the Cube?
>> Not great.
203
00:10:29,562 --> 00:10:31,562
I tried to feed it chicken soup.
204
00:10:31,631 --> 00:10:33,601
And if you thought Cubes
couldn't barf, you'd be wrong.
205
00:10:33,667 --> 00:10:35,567
Jake >> You'd better
fix it, all right.
206
00:10:35,635 --> 00:10:37,535
I have a date with Claudia
tomorrow and I'd like to have it
207
00:10:37,604 --> 00:10:39,614
in my own body.
>> I'm trying.
208
00:10:39,673 --> 00:10:41,913
I'm keeping the Cube under
a large blanket shielding it
209
00:10:41,975 --> 00:10:43,935
from the light and keep it calm.
Right now
210
00:10:44,011 --> 00:10:45,981
it's resting comfortably.
Jake >> I wish I could.
211
00:10:46,046 --> 00:10:47,946
>> Just keep a low profile
until I figure something out.
212
00:10:48,015 --> 00:10:49,945
Hayley >> No problem.
Jake >> No one will ever know.
213
00:10:53,086 --> 00:10:55,116
[screams]
214
00:10:59,126 --> 00:11:03,626
>> We'll start rehearsal with
the Baptista and Petruchio scene
215
00:11:03,731 --> 00:11:07,601
and keep going through the big
kiss between Kate and Petruchio.
216
00:11:07,735 --> 00:11:11,595
>> Ooo, the big kiss.
217
00:11:11,739 --> 00:11:14,209
>> Sorry for the girl
who has to kiss that.
218
00:11:14,274 --> 00:11:16,784
Mr. Maltby >> Kate,
take the stage.
219
00:11:16,844 --> 00:11:20,084
Padua awaits!
Jake >> Yeah, come on, Kate.
220
00:11:20,147 --> 00:11:22,117
Ha ha ha....
221
00:11:25,886 --> 00:11:27,856
I'm Kate, aren't I?
222
00:11:32,025 --> 00:11:34,925
[clears throat]
223
00:11:34,995 --> 00:11:38,765
>> Oh, cinnamon or wintergreen?
224
00:11:38,766 --> 00:11:42,096
I usually let the girl choose.
Oh, and just so you know,
225
00:11:42,169 --> 00:11:45,439
I brushed my tongue
this morning too.
226
00:11:45,505 --> 00:11:47,875
>> No way, I am not kissing
Etienne Leibowitz.
227
00:11:47,941 --> 00:11:49,981
Hey, are you any closer
to switching us back?
228
00:11:50,043 --> 00:11:53,413
>> Made a breakthrough.
Read this.
229
00:11:53,480 --> 00:11:59,390
>> "Se taefl incofa sy
se awesoung of gast."
230
00:11:59,452 --> 00:12:01,422
>> Isn't it great?
Can't you see
231
00:12:01,488 --> 00:12:03,388
why I'm so excited?
>> Tell me what I just said.
232
00:12:03,456 --> 00:12:07,526
>> "The heart of the Cube
is man's essence."
233
00:12:07,627 --> 00:12:10,457
It eats essence.
234
00:12:10,530 --> 00:12:12,570
In ancient times, people
believed there were four
235
00:12:12,632 --> 00:12:15,372
basic elements: fire,
wind, water, earth.
236
00:12:15,435 --> 00:12:18,805
One of these can make the Cube
better and it will have power
237
00:12:18,839 --> 00:12:20,809
to switch you guys back.
>> I'd feel a lot more confident
238
00:12:20,874 --> 00:12:22,814
if you weren't using
a squirt gun.
239
00:12:22,876 --> 00:12:26,806
>> Just look at is as a
squirt instrument of science.
240
00:12:31,718 --> 00:12:33,648
>> What's that?
Hayley >> It's a pop quiz
241
00:12:33,720 --> 00:12:35,690
I totally aced for you.
Your classes are so easy.
242
00:12:35,823 --> 00:12:37,693
And, you just made
J.V. basketball,
243
00:12:37,825 --> 00:12:40,155
then signed up for community
service at the senior centre.
244
00:12:40,227 --> 00:12:42,127
It's so nice to be someone with
so much room for improvement.
245
00:12:42,195 --> 00:12:44,125
>> Don't get used to it.
Felix is going to switch
246
00:12:44,197 --> 00:12:46,197
us back any minute.
Hayley >> Really?
247
00:12:46,266 --> 00:12:48,136
But, Cuddy's gotta
finish teaching me
248
00:12:48,201 --> 00:12:50,171
how to burp the alphabet.
I'm up to the letter 'H'.
249
00:12:50,237 --> 00:12:52,137
And, I found out how to make
a rat rail really sting.
250
00:12:52,205 --> 00:12:54,135
The trick is you have to...
Felix >> Dip it in water!
251
00:12:54,207 --> 00:12:57,407
Of course, if you're me,
you just hope it's water
252
00:12:57,477 --> 00:12:59,407
from the tank not the bowl.
253
00:12:59,479 --> 00:13:02,219
[awkward laugh]
254
00:13:02,282 --> 00:13:04,422
>> Why aren't you at rehearsal?
255
00:13:04,484 --> 00:13:06,424
Jake >> Ah, I couldn't
finish rehearsal.
256
00:13:06,486 --> 00:13:08,456
I was feeling sick.
I almost hurled.
257
00:13:08,521 --> 00:13:10,961
>> You left?
I'm the lead!
258
00:13:11,024 --> 00:13:13,034
There's no play without me.
>> You should have told me I had
259
00:13:13,093 --> 00:13:15,263
to kiss that dude, Etienne.
Not cool, Hayley.
260
00:13:15,328 --> 00:13:17,258
Hayley >> You won't kiss a guy
for the sake of art but
261
00:13:17,330 --> 00:13:20,370
you expect me to take Claudia
'brace-face' Forlani on a date.
262
00:13:20,433 --> 00:13:22,573
How is that fair?
I'm canceling it.
263
00:13:22,635 --> 00:13:24,535
>> If you ever call
her brace-face again,
264
00:13:24,604 --> 00:13:26,514
I will punch me
right in the nose.
265
00:13:26,573 --> 00:13:28,583
>> Guys! Guys!
Both >> What?
266
00:13:28,641 --> 00:13:30,511
>> The Cube!
The water's working.
267
00:13:30,577 --> 00:13:32,577
I'm a genius.
At this rate, we can make
268
00:13:32,645 --> 00:13:34,575
the switch by morning.
Why don't you guys head home
269
00:13:34,647 --> 00:13:37,447
and get some rest.
I'll stay here with the Cube.
270
00:13:43,723 --> 00:13:45,893
[splash]
271
00:13:45,959 --> 00:13:55,599
[gurgles]
272
00:13:55,668 --> 00:13:57,968
Jake >> And this one?
Is this the one you sleep on?
273
00:13:58,038 --> 00:13:59,908
Hayley >> No, it's
a toss pillow.
274
00:13:59,940 --> 00:14:02,240
It's also decorative.
275
00:14:02,309 --> 00:14:04,239
Jake, do we really
have to do this?
276
00:14:04,311 --> 00:14:07,151
>> I'm just fascinated.
Your bed is a sea of pillows:
277
00:14:07,247 --> 00:14:10,347
accent pillows, toss pillows,
278
00:14:10,450 --> 00:14:13,250
throw pillows, novelty pillows.
279
00:14:13,320 --> 00:14:15,190
Where is the pillow
you sleep on?
280
00:14:15,255 --> 00:14:17,285
>> In the closet.
>> You're insane.
281
00:14:17,357 --> 00:14:19,227
>> Me? At least I have a room
fit for like, humans.
282
00:14:19,292 --> 00:14:21,262
Do you have any idea how
long it took me to clean
283
00:14:21,328 --> 00:14:23,298
this place up to disgusting?
>> What?
284
00:14:23,363 --> 00:14:25,273
I told you not
to touch anything.
285
00:14:25,332 --> 00:14:27,232
>> Calm down.
I just tidied up a bit.
286
00:14:27,300 --> 00:14:29,170
I took all your dirty cloths
and put them in one pile.
287
00:14:29,236 --> 00:14:31,266
Ew, by the way.
288
00:14:31,338 --> 00:14:33,268
And I found some
comic book you drew,
289
00:14:33,340 --> 00:14:35,280
"Knight Shield and
Honey Ricochet."
290
00:14:35,342 --> 00:14:38,582
Gee, Honey Ricochet
looks familiar.
291
00:14:38,645 --> 00:14:41,675
>> Honey Ricochet is like
so much taller than you.
292
00:14:41,748 --> 00:14:44,148
Hayley >> And, I repaired
you little stuffed bunny.
293
00:14:44,217 --> 00:14:46,217
You're welcome.
294
00:14:46,286 --> 00:14:48,586
>> Mr. Tuttles is not a bunny.
He's a beaver,
295
00:14:48,655 --> 00:14:51,255
which is the most masculine
of all the woodland creatures.
296
00:14:51,324 --> 00:14:53,364
I can't believe you gave
Mr. Tuttles bunny ears.
297
00:14:53,426 --> 00:14:55,426
He looks ridiculous.
298
00:14:55,495 --> 00:14:57,425
>> Well, I think
he looks super cute.
299
00:15:02,102 --> 00:15:04,042
[clicks of keyboard]
300
00:15:06,974 --> 00:15:08,984
Jake >> Lose the ears
or the pillow gets it.
301
00:15:08,976 --> 00:15:11,106
>> Do it and die, Collins.
302
00:15:11,178 --> 00:15:14,978
>> Ooo, look what's
behind this pillow.
303
00:15:15,015 --> 00:15:18,415
A diary?
304
00:15:18,518 --> 00:15:20,548
Check and mate.
305
00:15:20,620 --> 00:15:23,620
>> One minute.
306
00:15:23,690 --> 00:15:26,360
>> I just don't get it.
It's not getting any better.
307
00:15:26,426 --> 00:15:28,496
>> Well something must have
been lost in the translation.
308
00:15:28,561 --> 00:15:30,701
What else could the
"essence of humanity" mean?
309
00:15:30,763 --> 00:15:33,533
>> I'll tell you what
it doesn't mean:
310
00:15:33,600 --> 00:15:37,270
fire, earth, wind, water,
311
00:15:37,337 --> 00:15:39,767
licorice, nail cuttings,
paint thinners...
312
00:15:39,839 --> 00:15:43,379
I'm in an awkward
position over here.
313
00:15:43,443 --> 00:15:45,553
Hayley >> Awkward position?
Last night, I slept on
314
00:15:45,612 --> 00:15:48,152
a skateboard and an amplifier
because Jake's bed smelled
315
00:15:48,215 --> 00:15:50,475
like beef jerky.
And in a half hour,
316
00:15:50,550 --> 00:15:52,850
I'm going to have to watch
him mangle my stage debut.
317
00:15:52,919 --> 00:15:55,019
>> Have a little
more faith in Jake.
318
00:15:55,022 --> 00:15:57,592
He knows how important this is.
He won't embarrass you.
319
00:15:59,626 --> 00:16:01,726
Oh, dear.
320
00:16:01,794 --> 00:16:05,034
Hayley >> Oh, I thought I
told you at lunch to change.
321
00:16:05,098 --> 00:16:07,028
>> Nothing would have
made me happier.
322
00:16:07,100 --> 00:16:09,070
I didn't have any
cloths to change into.
323
00:16:09,136 --> 00:16:11,066
>> You're ruining my reputation.
And I bet you haven't memorized
324
00:16:11,138 --> 00:16:13,038
any of my lines.
>> Shows what you know.
325
00:16:13,073 --> 00:16:15,143
I memorized an entire page.
326
00:16:15,208 --> 00:16:17,108
And look, I have the
rest written here.
327
00:16:17,177 --> 00:16:19,077
It's okay.
Through in a few 'doths' here,
328
00:16:19,146 --> 00:16:22,646
a few 'forsooths' there.
329
00:16:22,715 --> 00:16:24,945
We'll all be good.
Hayley >> No, we're not good.
330
00:16:25,052 --> 00:16:27,052
You're humiliating me while
I'm doing everything I can
331
00:16:27,120 --> 00:16:29,790
to make you better.
I hemmed your jeans correctly
332
00:16:29,856 --> 00:16:32,256
and you no longer smell
like cheese curls.
333
00:16:32,325 --> 00:16:34,525
>> I like smelling
like cheese curls.
334
00:16:34,594 --> 00:16:37,064
And you know what else, I'm
getting just a little bit sick
335
00:16:37,130 --> 00:16:39,170
of you judging me like this.
>> I'm not judging you.
336
00:16:39,232 --> 00:16:41,172
Jake >> Yeah, you are.
Why else would you
337
00:16:41,234 --> 00:16:43,104
be signing me up for
all these things, huh?
338
00:16:43,170 --> 00:16:45,140
Because you don't
think I'm good.
339
00:16:45,205 --> 00:16:47,135
Hayley >> We'll you're certainly
not doing a great job as me.
340
00:16:47,207 --> 00:16:49,077
Did you even bother to look
in the mirror this morning?
341
00:16:49,109 --> 00:16:51,139
>> How could I not, huh?
342
00:16:51,211 --> 00:16:53,151
You've only got like 5,000
mirrors in your room.
343
00:16:53,213 --> 00:16:55,123
Hayley >> That's it!
I'm not going out with Claudia.
344
00:16:55,182 --> 00:16:57,122
>> You wouldn't dare.
>> Wouldn't I?
345
00:16:57,184 --> 00:16:59,154
Jake >> Then I guess
you're understudy
346
00:16:59,219 --> 00:17:01,089
will be doing the show.
>> You're going to make me cry.
347
00:17:01,188 --> 00:17:03,888
>> Human essence!
348
00:17:03,956 --> 00:17:07,256
I figured it out.
It feeds on intense emotion
349
00:17:07,327 --> 00:17:11,227
such as a joyous laughter,
wrenching sorrow, blinding rage.
350
00:17:11,298 --> 00:17:13,268
Jake >> Dude, you
figured it out.
351
00:17:13,333 --> 00:17:16,203
Let's hop on in and switch back.
>> No, it's not ready yet.
352
00:17:16,269 --> 00:17:19,139
This Cube is only one
quarter it's normal size.
353
00:17:19,206 --> 00:17:22,336
We've got to pump it up
with more emotion.
354
00:17:22,409 --> 00:17:24,339
>> How long will that take?
>> I don't know.
355
00:17:24,411 --> 00:17:27,411
I'll go as fast as I can.
I mean...
356
00:17:27,480 --> 00:17:30,350
I don't know!
I'll go as fast as I can!
357
00:17:30,417 --> 00:17:33,717
[gurgles]
358
00:17:36,123 --> 00:17:39,863
that's your name I hear.
359
00:17:42,562 --> 00:17:48,542
I said, good morrow, Kate,
for that's your name I hear.
360
00:18:03,416 --> 00:18:06,386
>> It tis be my name.
361
00:18:06,486 --> 00:18:08,886
Don't weareth it out.
362
00:18:08,988 --> 00:18:11,318
[audience chuckles]
363
00:18:11,391 --> 00:18:15,961
And what be your name,
I pray thee?
364
00:18:16,028 --> 00:18:20,698
>> My name is Petruchio, and
I'm here to make you my wife.
365
00:18:20,767 --> 00:18:23,167
>> If you want to get with this,
366
00:18:23,203 --> 00:18:25,173
lose the tights,
put a ring on it.
367
00:18:25,238 --> 00:18:27,068
[audience laughs]
Wha-what!
368
00:18:27,174 --> 00:18:29,244
[audience laughs]
369
00:18:29,309 --> 00:18:31,209
>> This is a travesty,
a nightmare.
370
00:18:31,278 --> 00:18:33,178
>> It's a lot better than
last year's 'Fiddler'.
371
00:18:33,246 --> 00:18:35,216
Christian Olafson was the
worst Tevye I've ever seen.
372
00:18:35,282 --> 00:18:37,182
>> You don't think
she's ruining the play?
373
00:18:37,250 --> 00:18:39,220
She's terrible.
>> She's not that bad.
374
00:18:39,286 --> 00:18:41,246
Who knew Hayley had
a sense of humour?
375
00:18:41,321 --> 00:18:43,391
>> Hayley's funny,
totally funny.
376
00:18:43,456 --> 00:18:45,656
Like, once she was in
the line for lunch,
377
00:18:45,725 --> 00:18:47,725
saw the special and said,
"If that's the special,
378
00:18:47,794 --> 00:18:52,204
give me the normal."
[laughs]
379
00:18:54,501 --> 00:18:58,211
[armpit farts]
[audience laughs]
380
00:18:58,271 --> 00:19:00,211
>> Well, maybe we should
go somewhere else?
381
00:19:00,273 --> 00:19:02,283
Get to know each other better.
>> I can't take it.
382
00:19:02,342 --> 00:19:04,212
Someone has to
straighten her out.
383
00:19:04,244 --> 00:19:06,254
>> What about me, Jake?
384
00:19:06,313 --> 00:19:08,283
Jake?
Hayley >> Dude...
385
00:19:08,348 --> 00:19:10,648
>> I was at Level 26 Paladin
with a ring of invisibility
386
00:19:10,717 --> 00:19:14,247
when I rolled a 'one'
on a 20-sided die.
387
00:19:14,321 --> 00:19:16,821
My whole clan turned against me.
388
00:19:16,889 --> 00:19:20,559
I hope you never experience
that kind of betrayal.
389
00:19:20,627 --> 00:19:24,257
[sobs]
390
00:19:24,364 --> 00:19:27,004
[gurgles]
391
00:19:27,066 --> 00:19:29,996
[audience laughs, applauds]
392
00:19:30,069 --> 00:19:31,999
[laughs]
Hayley >> What do you think
393
00:19:32,071 --> 00:19:34,011
you're doing?
>> Improving Shakespeare.
394
00:19:34,073 --> 00:19:36,043
Listen to that, they love me.
>> They're idiots.
395
00:19:36,108 --> 00:19:37,978
Shakespeare didn't
have arm farts.
396
00:19:38,044 --> 00:19:40,014
>> We don't know that.
397
00:19:40,079 --> 00:19:42,449
Etienne >> You can't just
waltz on stage and pretend
398
00:19:42,515 --> 00:19:44,445
the performance doesn't matter
in the shadows of Olivier,
399
00:19:44,517 --> 00:19:47,387
and Richardson and Brian Phong.
400
00:19:47,454 --> 00:19:50,464
>> Who?
>> Ah, last year's King Lear!
401
00:19:50,523 --> 00:19:52,893
It was absolutely breathtaking.
Claudia >> Jake!
402
00:19:52,959 --> 00:19:56,259
>> Wow, Claudia, you look
super pretty tonight.
403
00:19:56,329 --> 00:19:58,999
>> What?
>> Are you loving the play?
404
00:19:59,065 --> 00:20:01,065
I'm kind of dedicating
my performance to you.
405
00:20:01,268 --> 00:20:03,368
>> Thanks, I guess.
>> This is one of
406
00:20:03,436 --> 00:20:05,766
the worst nights of life.
>> Me too.
407
00:20:05,838 --> 00:20:07,868
You left me all alone out there.
Great first date.
408
00:20:07,940 --> 00:20:09,840
>> Can you guys
work on this later.
409
00:20:09,909 --> 00:20:11,839
Our kiss is coming up
and my fans expect
410
00:20:11,911 --> 00:20:13,781
something scintillating.
When I say my fans,
411
00:20:13,880 --> 00:20:15,880
I mean, my nana.
412
00:20:15,948 --> 00:20:17,818
>> He's right, Hayley.
What ever happened to character?
413
00:20:17,884 --> 00:20:19,894
What happened to commitment?
414
00:20:19,952 --> 00:20:22,222
>> Why are you so into her?
>> Just of fan of good theatre.
415
00:20:22,289 --> 00:20:24,189
>> No, you clearly
have a thing for her.
416
00:20:24,257 --> 00:20:26,157
>> No, I don't.
>> No, he doesn't.
417
00:20:26,225 --> 00:20:28,125
>> Yes, he does and
you're just as into him.
418
00:20:28,194 --> 00:20:30,234
You can have each other.
419
00:20:30,297 --> 00:20:32,127
>> Oh, Claudia, wait!
Please.
420
00:20:32,198 --> 00:20:34,198
>> Yeah, come back.
421
00:20:36,336 --> 00:20:38,706
>> Okay, the kissing
scene is next.
422
00:20:38,771 --> 00:20:40,711
And if you're not out there,
I'm going to have you
423
00:20:40,773 --> 00:20:42,683
blacklisted from
the theatre program.
424
00:20:42,742 --> 00:20:44,682
You can say adios
to 'Grigadoon'.
425
00:20:50,016 --> 00:20:51,976
>> The Cube's ready.
I fixed it.
426
00:20:52,051 --> 00:21:01,991
[gurgles]
427
00:21:01,994 --> 00:21:09,574
[gurgles]
428
00:21:09,636 --> 00:21:11,836
[splash]
429
00:21:17,577 --> 00:21:21,807
[gurgles]
430
00:21:21,881 --> 00:21:26,651
>> Hayley?
>> Yeah.
431
00:21:26,719 --> 00:21:28,789
Jake?
432
00:21:28,855 --> 00:21:30,815
>> Yeah.
433
00:21:32,892 --> 00:21:34,792
Felix?
434
00:21:34,861 --> 00:21:37,261
>> Meow!
435
00:21:37,364 --> 00:21:39,274
Just kidding.
It's me.
436
00:21:39,366 --> 00:21:41,366
Etienne >> I said...
437
00:21:41,368 --> 00:21:46,538
for the tenth time,
why there's a wench.
438
00:21:46,606 --> 00:21:49,676
Come and kiss me, Kate.
439
00:21:49,742 --> 00:21:51,682
>> Did someone say
something about a kiss?
440
00:21:51,744 --> 00:21:54,984
>> Yes!
No! No!
441
00:21:55,047 --> 00:21:56,877
Mr. Maltby!
Mr. Maltby!
442
00:21:56,949 --> 00:21:59,089
There's a...ahhh!
443
00:21:59,151 --> 00:22:02,091
Mr. Maltby!
[applause]
444
00:22:02,154 --> 00:22:09,834
[applause]
445
00:22:12,465 --> 00:22:17,665
[burping]
A...B...C...D...E...F...G...
446
00:22:21,641 --> 00:22:27,551
[clicks of keyboard]
447
00:22:43,195 --> 00:22:45,295
>> Look, Mr. Tuttles.
448
00:22:45,432 --> 00:22:48,132
I got you some new pillows.
449
00:22:48,200 --> 00:22:51,240
Felix >> So that brings
us up to math camp.
450
00:22:51,303 --> 00:22:53,473
You know, when you're
bullied by math nerds,
451
00:22:53,540 --> 00:22:55,440
the X axis is pain the
Y axis is humiliation.
452
00:22:55,475 --> 00:22:57,335
[gurgles]
It was the longest,
453
00:22:57,444 --> 00:23:00,454
the longest 12 weeks of my life.
454
00:23:03,583 --> 00:23:05,453
I, I'll go straight
to integer week.
455
00:23:05,552 --> 00:23:07,652
You see, what happened...
456
00:23:07,720 --> 00:23:09,820
[gurgle]
457
00:23:09,889 --> 00:23:14,889
Oh, you want me to go.
Has it been three hours already?
458
00:23:14,961 --> 00:23:18,201
I'm sure you've got a lot to do
being a gelatinous Cube and all.
459
00:23:20,933 --> 00:23:24,373
[gurgle]
460
00:23:24,471 --> 00:23:28,011
See you same time
tomorrow, friend.
461
00:23:30,109 --> 00:23:32,109
[beep]
35451
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
