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1
00:00:11,119 --> 00:00:14,155
Len, that orgy changed my life.
2
00:00:14,179 --> 00:00:16,006
Naughty times.
3
00:00:16,030 --> 00:00:19,046
Naughty, naughty times.
4
00:00:19,070 --> 00:00:20,055
Love you, man.
5
00:00:20,079 --> 00:00:21,140
I'm gonna go get the car.
6
00:00:24,089 --> 00:00:26,055
Ugh, my god, those nachos.
7
00:00:28,059 --> 00:00:30,007
- Len! Len!
- Are you okay?
8
00:00:30,039 --> 00:00:32,100
Where-where am I right now?
9
00:00:34,149 --> 00:00:35,235
Oh, my god.
10
00:00:35,259 --> 00:00:37,149
Oh, fuck.
11
00:00:38,179 --> 00:00:40,136
- No, no.
- No, no, no, no, no, no, no...
12
00:00:40,170 --> 00:00:41,155
He's not breathing.
13
00:00:41,179 --> 00:00:43,140
Did you just kill Santa Claus?
14
00:00:45,000 --> 00:00:51,074
Learn Thai more flexible & enjoyable
with Banana Thai osdb.link/bananathai
15
00:00:52,030 --> 00:00:53,037
Yep, another Christmas
16
00:00:53,061 --> 00:00:54,076
in the books,
17
00:00:54,100 --> 00:00:56,037
- another half billion cookies
- in my belly.
18
00:00:57,079 --> 00:00:59,066
Belly! How do you do it?
19
00:01:02,100 --> 00:01:04,067
Hmm, guess Santy Claus
20
00:01:04,091 --> 00:01:06,066
has one more gift to deliver.
21
00:01:06,090 --> 00:01:08,030
Ooh.
22
00:01:09,120 --> 00:01:09,996
I'm Cocoa Scarborough...
23
00:01:10,030 --> 00:01:11,256
And this is "Morning Cocoa".
24
00:01:11,280 --> 00:01:13,136
- Well, the holiday break
- is over,
25
00:01:13,170 --> 00:01:15,026
- Which means
- we can turn our attention
26
00:01:15,060 --> 00:01:16,087
Back to the real problem
27
00:01:16,111 --> 00:01:17,146
facing the North Pole...
28
00:01:17,170 --> 00:01:19,056
- The fact that
- we're split down the middle
29
00:01:19,090 --> 00:01:20,256
And everyone hates each other.
30
00:01:20,280 --> 00:01:22,015
Here to fight...
31
00:01:22,039 --> 00:01:24,126
- Hopefully physically,
- maybe some clothes come off...
32
00:01:24,150 --> 00:01:25,147
Is the head
33
00:01:25,171 --> 00:01:26,176
of the Nice Union, Ebba,
34
00:01:26,200 --> 00:01:28,055
and the radical Naughty Party,
35
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Helenor.
36
00:01:29,090 --> 00:01:30,045
I don't understand
37
00:01:30,069 --> 00:01:31,116
- when the idea
- of "one child, one gift"
38
00:01:31,140 --> 00:01:32,176
Became radical.
39
00:01:32,200 --> 00:01:34,176
If anything, it's just rad.
40
00:01:34,200 --> 00:01:36,006
First of all,
41
00:01:36,030 --> 00:01:37,195
thank you for having me, Cocoa.
42
00:01:37,219 --> 00:01:39,025
Manners.
43
00:01:39,049 --> 00:01:40,126
And where do you think
44
00:01:40,150 --> 00:01:41,597
the additional 300 million toys
45
00:01:41,621 --> 00:01:43,075
should come from, Helenor?
46
00:01:43,099 --> 00:01:44,036
Not from you.
47
00:01:44,060 --> 00:01:45,265
- You don't work at
- the toy factory.
48
00:01:45,289 --> 00:01:47,097
- You work at a bar.
- Let it be known.
49
00:01:47,129 --> 00:01:48,085
I'll work at the factory
50
00:01:48,109 --> 00:01:49,126
- when you stop judging
- four-year-olds
51
00:01:49,150 --> 00:01:50,597
And consider the situation
52
00:01:50,621 --> 00:01:52,075
society placed them in!
53
00:01:52,099 --> 00:01:53,265
Rawr!
54
00:01:53,289 --> 00:01:56,116
This news is unjolly.
55
00:01:58,150 --> 00:01:59,135
Maybe this will cheer you up?
56
00:01:59,159 --> 00:02:01,572
A perfect gingerbread replica
57
00:02:01,596 --> 00:02:04,016
of Nakatomi Plaza
58
00:02:04,040 --> 00:02:05,256
- from the greatest
- Christmas movie ever...
59
00:02:05,280 --> 00:02:06,226
"Die Hard"?
60
00:02:07,736 --> 00:02:09,205
"No Bullets, no bullets!"
61
00:02:09,229 --> 00:02:11,189
Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker.
62
00:02:16,150 --> 00:02:17,135
Oh, Jack!
63
00:02:17,159 --> 00:02:18,205
- Jack, my boy!
- Our meeting.
64
00:02:18,229 --> 00:02:19,667
Gotta set a time
65
00:02:19,691 --> 00:02:21,135
to see my own pops.
66
00:02:21,159 --> 00:02:23,126
What has the world come to?
67
00:02:23,150 --> 00:02:24,567
Why didn't you have breakfast
68
00:02:24,591 --> 00:02:26,015
with me and Harry?
69
00:02:26,039 --> 00:02:26,996
Check this out.
70
00:02:27,020 --> 00:02:29,076
- He filled the elevator shaft
- with jelly.
71
00:02:29,110 --> 00:02:30,186
- Can't quite figure out
- what flavor, though.
72
00:02:30,210 --> 00:02:32,026
Gosh, what is this, fig?
73
00:02:33,000 --> 00:02:34,096
No, stay.
74
00:02:34,120 --> 00:02:35,156
- That throne
- will be yours one day.
75
00:02:36,150 --> 00:02:37,226
- Or you could sit on my lap
- if you want?
76
00:02:37,250 --> 00:02:39,045
No!
77
00:02:39,069 --> 00:02:40,036
That's so weird!
78
00:02:40,060 --> 00:02:42,266
- I'm 18, Dad.
- I don't want to sit on your lap.
79
00:02:43,000 --> 00:02:44,195
Well, the offer stands.
80
00:02:44,219 --> 00:02:45,216
Or sits.
81
00:02:45,240 --> 00:02:47,692
Look, as the future
82
00:02:47,716 --> 00:02:50,175
21st Santa Claus, Blackjack,
83
00:02:50,199 --> 00:02:51,632
I know I'm supposed
84
00:02:51,656 --> 00:02:53,096
to sit around and eat cookies
85
00:02:53,120 --> 00:02:54,226
until you croak,
86
00:02:54,250 --> 00:02:56,175
but I'm not built that way.
87
00:02:56,199 --> 00:02:58,037
- I'm actually down
- to 3% body fat...
88
00:02:58,069 --> 00:02:59,016
- Just in case
- you were interested.
89
00:02:59,050 --> 00:03:00,096
Physical fitness
90
00:03:00,120 --> 00:03:01,226
- was a New Year's resolution
- of mine, too.
91
00:03:01,250 --> 00:03:03,036
Hey, Dad, I was jamming
92
00:03:03,060 --> 00:03:04,096
- with the guys
- down in Accounting,
93
00:03:04,120 --> 00:03:05,115
And they said...
94
00:03:05,139 --> 00:03:06,195
They told me this little story...
95
00:03:06,219 --> 00:03:08,015
There's no way it can be true,
96
00:03:08,039 --> 00:03:09,145
because they said
97
00:03:09,169 --> 00:03:10,592
that you almost didn't make
98
00:03:10,616 --> 00:03:12,045
Christmas last year
99
00:03:12,069 --> 00:03:13,057
because you were using
100
00:03:13,081 --> 00:03:14,075
factory resources
101
00:03:14,099 --> 00:03:16,126
to make toys for naughty kids.
102
00:03:16,150 --> 00:03:17,067
- And I was like,
- "Is that true?"
103
00:03:17,099 --> 00:03:18,977
- Those guys wouldn't know
- a good jelly
104
00:03:19,009 --> 00:03:20,036
If it slapped them in the face.
105
00:03:21,069 --> 00:03:23,055
Dad, seriously, is that true?
106
00:03:23,079 --> 00:03:24,066
That the nice kids
107
00:03:24,090 --> 00:03:25,557
almost didn't get
108
00:03:25,581 --> 00:03:27,055
the presents that they earned?
109
00:03:27,079 --> 00:03:29,096
While the naughty kids
110
00:03:29,120 --> 00:03:31,572
were being handed out trucks
111
00:03:31,596 --> 00:03:34,055
and Xboxes by the sackload.
112
00:03:34,079 --> 00:03:35,572
Because I thought here,
113
00:03:35,596 --> 00:03:37,096
at the North Pole,
114
00:03:37,120 --> 00:03:39,075
we only make gifts for the nic...
115
00:03:39,099 --> 00:03:41,195
Will you stop eating that jelly
116
00:03:41,219 --> 00:03:43,105
for one second?
117
00:03:44,120 --> 00:03:45,105
Son...
118
00:03:45,129 --> 00:03:47,036
don't worry about all that.
119
00:03:47,060 --> 00:03:48,135
Just tell me...
120
00:03:48,159 --> 00:03:49,165
is this raspberry?
121
00:03:49,189 --> 00:03:50,246
And you're done.
122
00:03:50,270 --> 00:03:52,115
Oh, come on, Til,
123
00:03:52,139 --> 00:03:54,217
- we're in the middle
- of a father-son jam session.
124
00:03:54,250 --> 00:03:56,246
- Hey, can I get your taste buds
- on this by the way?
125
00:03:56,270 --> 00:03:57,692
You can get your taste buds
126
00:03:57,716 --> 00:03:59,146
on a garden salad
127
00:03:59,170 --> 00:04:00,205
if you don't get to work.
128
00:04:00,229 --> 00:04:02,156
Whoa.
129
00:04:02,180 --> 00:04:03,165
That's a serious threat.
130
00:04:03,189 --> 00:04:05,246
Um, okay, sorry,
131
00:04:05,270 --> 00:04:07,145
but I can't argue with that.
132
00:04:07,169 --> 00:04:09,209
- We're all gonna be working
- for you one day, Til.
133
00:04:13,030 --> 00:04:15,217
- Well, thank you
- for your undivided attention,
134
00:04:15,250 --> 00:04:17,152
And, Dad,
135
00:04:17,176 --> 00:04:19,100
have a holly, jolly Monday.
136
00:04:20,100 --> 00:04:21,076
Love you!
137
00:04:21,100 --> 00:04:22,637
I hate to say it,
138
00:04:22,661 --> 00:04:24,206
but he's not wrong.
139
00:04:24,230 --> 00:04:26,255
I mean, his vibe is like...
140
00:04:26,279 --> 00:04:28,236
- I don't even know
- how to describe it...
141
00:04:28,269 --> 00:04:30,076
Creatine krampus?
142
00:04:30,100 --> 00:04:32,006
- But he's right
- about the naughty list...
143
00:04:32,040 --> 00:04:33,165
- Accounting
- is starting to raise flags.
144
00:04:33,189 --> 00:04:35,105
Til, our world is going to shit
145
00:04:35,129 --> 00:04:36,641
because we make snap judgments
146
00:04:36,665 --> 00:04:38,185
and just leave it at that.
147
00:04:38,209 --> 00:04:40,055
- My dad was all about
- negative reinforcement...
148
00:04:40,079 --> 00:04:41,076
And look at me...
149
00:04:41,100 --> 00:04:42,235
I couldn't be more fucked up.
150
00:04:42,259 --> 00:04:44,216
You know what's fucked up?
151
00:04:44,240 --> 00:04:46,207
- Miguel refused to do
- the dishes 37 times,
152
00:04:46,240 --> 00:04:48,165
Got into a fight,
153
00:04:48,189 --> 00:04:49,216
started vaping,
154
00:04:49,240 --> 00:04:50,185
and you gave him...
155
00:04:50,209 --> 00:04:51,266
a minion!
156
00:04:51,290 --> 00:04:53,055
You gave that boy a minion?
157
00:04:53,079 --> 00:04:54,072
That's one of
158
00:04:54,096 --> 00:04:55,096
our cutest toys, man.
159
00:04:55,120 --> 00:04:57,146
What's the messaging here?
160
00:04:57,170 --> 00:04:59,060
Keep on fighting and vaping?
161
00:05:00,110 --> 00:05:02,017
- He got into a fight
- with his step-brother,
162
00:05:02,050 --> 00:05:03,052
Who he just started
163
00:05:03,076 --> 00:05:04,086
sharing a room with.
164
00:05:04,110 --> 00:05:05,086
Come on, that's hard on a kid.
165
00:05:05,110 --> 00:05:06,206
Ugh.
166
00:05:07,209 --> 00:05:08,165
If the elves found out
167
00:05:08,189 --> 00:05:09,166
- you were making toys
- for naughty vapers,
168
00:05:09,199 --> 00:05:11,076
They would freak out.
169
00:05:11,100 --> 00:05:12,127
Personally,
170
00:05:12,151 --> 00:05:13,185
I think it's punk rock,
171
00:05:13,209 --> 00:05:15,126
- but that's between
- you, me and the jelly.
172
00:05:15,160 --> 00:05:17,076
And it is...
173
00:05:17,100 --> 00:05:18,086
huckleberry.
174
00:05:18,110 --> 00:05:19,146
- Fuckin' huckleberry,
- of course!
175
00:05:20,180 --> 00:05:22,026
My boy is a jelly genius!
176
00:05:22,050 --> 00:05:23,026
Hey, have you seen my phone?
177
00:05:23,050 --> 00:05:24,060
Work!
178
00:05:26,160 --> 00:05:27,647
Did you hear Comet got banned
179
00:05:27,671 --> 00:05:29,165
from the Reindeer Games?
180
00:05:29,189 --> 00:05:30,657
Yeah, they found traces
181
00:05:30,681 --> 00:05:32,156
of Wacky Hay in his urine.
182
00:05:32,180 --> 00:05:33,226
So naughty.
183
00:05:33,250 --> 00:05:36,216
Sven, there's no hope in dope.
184
00:05:36,240 --> 00:05:37,175
Hey, you guys talking about
185
00:05:37,199 --> 00:05:38,216
how fire Comet's social is
186
00:05:38,240 --> 00:05:39,266
right now?
187
00:05:39,290 --> 00:05:40,712
That dude posted
188
00:05:40,736 --> 00:05:42,165
the funniest video yesterday.
189
00:05:42,189 --> 00:05:43,146
How did it go?
190
00:05:43,170 --> 00:05:44,105
It was like...
191
00:05:52,209 --> 00:05:53,196
Ahem.
192
00:05:53,220 --> 00:05:54,156
That was a parody song
193
00:05:54,180 --> 00:05:55,255
- written and performed
- by a reindeer.
194
00:05:55,279 --> 00:05:56,216
It was not in any way
195
00:05:56,240 --> 00:05:58,106
- a reflection
- of my political beliefs
196
00:05:58,139 --> 00:05:59,105
As it relates
197
00:05:59,129 --> 00:06:00,226
- to banned substances
- at the Reindeer Games.
198
00:06:00,250 --> 00:06:02,105
Good, because Comet
199
00:06:02,129 --> 00:06:04,206
- should probably be submitting
- to periodic drug tests
200
00:06:04,230 --> 00:06:05,217
- If he wants to...
- Oh, my god!
201
00:06:05,250 --> 00:06:06,702
Guys, let's not all just
202
00:06:06,726 --> 00:06:08,185
take a dump on Comet here.
203
00:06:08,209 --> 00:06:09,197
- I mean, maybe he has
- a fear of heights.
204
00:06:09,230 --> 00:06:10,255
That's a real...
205
00:06:10,279 --> 00:06:11,279
Um, sir...
206
00:06:14,230 --> 00:06:15,255
Oh, balls.
207
00:06:15,279 --> 00:06:17,096
Earlier today,
208
00:06:17,120 --> 00:06:19,045
this penis picture surfaced,
209
00:06:19,069 --> 00:06:20,245
- and due to the redness
- of the tip,
210
00:06:20,269 --> 00:06:22,086
The girth of the shaft,
211
00:06:22,110 --> 00:06:24,045
and the whiteness of the pubes,
212
00:06:24,069 --> 00:06:25,151
sources say it could only
213
00:06:25,175 --> 00:06:26,266
belong to one man...
214
00:06:26,290 --> 00:06:29,076
Santa Claus.
215
00:06:29,100 --> 00:06:31,045
Are you fucking kidding me?
216
00:06:32,149 --> 00:06:33,235
I gotta go.
217
00:06:34,265 --> 00:06:35,255
Okay, grundel washed...
218
00:06:35,279 --> 00:06:37,290
Dasher is ready to smash'er!
219
00:06:39,129 --> 00:06:40,129
Babe?
220
00:06:42,110 --> 00:06:44,216
- There's nothing in that photo
- that proves it's yours.
221
00:06:44,240 --> 00:06:46,097
No scars, no marks,
222
00:06:46,121 --> 00:06:47,985
not a single fucking freckle.
223
00:06:48,009 --> 00:06:49,226
- Not a freckle
- on my schmeckle...
224
00:06:49,250 --> 00:06:51,005
What is wrong with you?
225
00:06:51,029 --> 00:06:53,086
Our arrangement only works
226
00:06:53,110 --> 00:06:55,175
if we keep our privates private.
227
00:06:55,199 --> 00:06:56,266
I know, and I'm sorry!
228
00:06:56,290 --> 00:06:58,266
I'm just jolly, okay?
229
00:06:58,290 --> 00:07:00,016
It's in my bones.
230
00:07:00,040 --> 00:07:01,497
Someone hacked your phone
231
00:07:01,521 --> 00:07:02,985
and is trying to take you out!
232
00:07:03,009 --> 00:07:04,175
Maybe it was a mistake.
233
00:07:04,199 --> 00:07:05,192
Will you stop
234
00:07:05,216 --> 00:07:06,216
seeing the best in people
235
00:07:06,240 --> 00:07:08,175
for one second?
236
00:07:08,199 --> 00:07:09,196
Those elves down there
237
00:07:09,220 --> 00:07:10,692
are a bunch
238
00:07:10,716 --> 00:07:12,196
of puritanical toy-nuts!
239
00:07:12,220 --> 00:07:13,222
They're not gonna stand
240
00:07:13,246 --> 00:07:14,255
for this crass shit.
241
00:07:14,279 --> 00:07:15,279
They're gonna strike.
242
00:07:16,000 --> 00:07:18,065
And then what happens next?
243
00:07:18,089 --> 00:07:19,105
There'll be runaways,
244
00:07:19,129 --> 00:07:20,156
a rise in drug use,
245
00:07:20,180 --> 00:07:21,175
violent crime.
246
00:07:21,199 --> 00:07:23,147
- Teenagers will be
- out in the streets
247
00:07:23,180 --> 00:07:24,226
Whoring themselves out...
248
00:07:24,250 --> 00:07:26,166
- And for what?
- A fucking Furby?
249
00:07:26,199 --> 00:07:27,671
Your secret backlog
250
00:07:27,695 --> 00:07:29,175
of naughty gifts
251
00:07:29,199 --> 00:07:31,146
will be the first thing to go.
252
00:07:31,170 --> 00:07:33,066
- Well, that's the opposite
- of what I would want!
253
00:07:33,090 --> 00:07:34,122
Tickling assholes
254
00:07:34,146 --> 00:07:35,185
for a Tickle Me Elmo.
255
00:07:35,209 --> 00:07:37,245
Unless you deny it,
256
00:07:37,269 --> 00:07:39,269
- 'cause lord knows
- Jack would be worse than you.
257
00:07:40,000 --> 00:07:41,105
We just gotta get that kid
258
00:07:41,129 --> 00:07:42,111
to eat, like,
259
00:07:42,135 --> 00:07:43,125
a scone or something.
260
00:07:43,149 --> 00:07:44,621
Nick, it's not gonna take
261
00:07:44,645 --> 00:07:46,125
whoever leaked that picture
262
00:07:46,149 --> 00:07:47,191
long to realize
263
00:07:47,215 --> 00:07:48,279
it wasn't meant for me.
264
00:07:49,000 --> 00:07:51,157
- Sir, the elves are threatening
- to go on strike!
265
00:07:51,189 --> 00:07:52,985
Right on cue...
266
00:07:53,009 --> 00:07:54,107
Oh, god,
267
00:07:54,131 --> 00:07:55,235
I don't wanna live...
268
00:07:55,259 --> 00:07:58,026
They're committing suicide, too?
269
00:07:58,050 --> 00:08:00,076
No!
270
00:08:01,100 --> 00:08:03,136
In a world without trampolines!
271
00:08:03,160 --> 00:08:04,185
Oh, thank God.
272
00:08:04,209 --> 00:08:05,290
Why are you sitting?
273
00:08:06,000 --> 00:08:08,146
Oh. Yeah. Okay.
274
00:08:08,170 --> 00:08:10,076
Call a press conference.
275
00:08:10,100 --> 00:08:11,995
I gotta do some thinking.
276
00:08:12,019 --> 00:08:13,005
Some, uh...
277
00:08:13,029 --> 00:08:15,120
political strategizing.
278
00:08:21,019 --> 00:08:22,005
Alright, how about this?
279
00:08:22,029 --> 00:08:23,016
We lock every elf in the factory
280
00:08:23,040 --> 00:08:24,977
- with only the tools
- to a make a peace pipe,
281
00:08:25,009 --> 00:08:26,016
And then we fill it with weed,
282
00:08:26,040 --> 00:08:27,175
sprinkle it with Angel Dust,
283
00:08:27,199 --> 00:08:28,136
and tell them to go ahead
284
00:08:28,160 --> 00:08:29,235
- and have an orgy
- if they feel like it.
285
00:08:29,259 --> 00:08:31,036
That way, they get along well
286
00:08:31,060 --> 00:08:32,245
- and they're desensitized
- to penises.
287
00:08:32,269 --> 00:08:34,000
What do you think?
288
00:08:36,000 --> 00:08:36,982
I think you're gonna need
289
00:08:37,006 --> 00:08:37,995
a bigger lighter, dude.
290
00:08:39,019 --> 00:08:39,995
Helenor...
291
00:08:40,019 --> 00:08:42,005
my snuggle dumpling.
292
00:08:42,029 --> 00:08:43,145
Hold me.
293
00:08:43,169 --> 00:08:45,245
I told you 69-69
294
00:08:45,269 --> 00:08:47,126
- wasn't a good password
- for your phone.
295
00:08:49,269 --> 00:08:51,046
No, that's snow!
296
00:08:51,070 --> 00:08:52,637
Dammit, Chilly, you're shedding
297
00:08:52,661 --> 00:08:54,235
perfectly-cut lines of snow
298
00:08:54,259 --> 00:08:55,226
all over the place.
299
00:08:55,250 --> 00:08:56,250
Stop it.
300
00:08:57,279 --> 00:09:01,155
Whoa, it is hot in this igloo.
301
00:09:01,179 --> 00:09:03,059
I'll go check the AC.
302
00:09:04,240 --> 00:09:05,612
Hidden in this igloo
303
00:09:05,636 --> 00:09:07,015
are the materials for a go-bag.
304
00:09:07,039 --> 00:09:08,076
I'm talking snacks, money,
305
00:09:08,100 --> 00:09:09,145
passports, snacks.
306
00:09:09,169 --> 00:09:10,167
We could be in Iceland
307
00:09:10,191 --> 00:09:11,196
by tomorrow.
308
00:09:11,220 --> 00:09:12,597
Nick, I would love
309
00:09:12,621 --> 00:09:14,005
to run away with you,
310
00:09:14,029 --> 00:09:15,245
open up a tiny fish shop,
311
00:09:15,269 --> 00:09:16,641
with maybe a small section
312
00:09:16,665 --> 00:09:18,046
devoted to fine cheeses.
313
00:09:18,070 --> 00:09:20,086
But we can't.
314
00:09:20,110 --> 00:09:22,026
- No, but we can.
- I have a magical sleigh.
315
00:09:22,059 --> 00:09:23,516
Nick, you're the jolliest
316
00:09:23,540 --> 00:09:25,005
guy I know.
317
00:09:25,029 --> 00:09:27,005
- But what good is that
- if everyone hates each other?
318
00:09:27,029 --> 00:09:28,097
Look, I never asked
319
00:09:28,121 --> 00:09:29,196
to be Santa Claus.
320
00:09:29,220 --> 00:09:30,206
I was the only boy,
321
00:09:30,230 --> 00:09:31,255
and my sister ran away
322
00:09:31,279 --> 00:09:33,036
- to play Janice
- on "The Sopranos".
323
00:09:34,169 --> 00:09:35,169
Look.
324
00:09:37,019 --> 00:09:38,539
- That's Miguel
- and his step-brother.
325
00:09:39,289 --> 00:09:40,329
They're not vaping.
326
00:09:42,029 --> 00:09:43,005
They're vibing.
327
00:09:43,029 --> 00:09:44,265
Your...
328
00:09:44,289 --> 00:09:47,035
pole is out there, right?
329
00:09:47,059 --> 00:09:48,166
Just dangling out there
330
00:09:48,190 --> 00:09:50,047
- in a way
- that's not good for anybody.
331
00:09:50,080 --> 00:09:52,105
But the question is...
332
00:09:52,129 --> 00:09:54,009
What are you gonna do about it?
333
00:09:57,240 --> 00:10:00,139
I'm going to fix everything.
334
00:10:02,220 --> 00:10:03,995
Really?
335
00:10:04,019 --> 00:10:06,005
One step at a time.
336
00:10:06,029 --> 00:10:07,230
Chilly, let's roll!
337
00:10:10,210 --> 00:10:12,289
Ho-ho-ho, Muchachos!
338
00:10:14,139 --> 00:10:15,155
Ugh, finally.
339
00:10:15,179 --> 00:10:16,166
Where's your brother?
340
00:10:16,190 --> 00:10:17,176
I think he's taking a shit.
341
00:10:17,200 --> 00:10:19,046
Hmm, that could be a while.
342
00:10:19,070 --> 00:10:21,106
- That is, if we've been enjoying
- the same jelly.
343
00:10:21,139 --> 00:10:22,147
Alright, Jack, Gretchen,
344
00:10:22,171 --> 00:10:23,186
take your positions.
345
00:10:23,210 --> 00:10:24,289
Chilly,
346
00:10:25,000 --> 00:10:26,572
I want you to stand next to me
347
00:10:26,596 --> 00:10:28,176
as my musical accompaniment.
348
00:10:28,200 --> 00:10:29,176
Just feel it out, buddy.
349
00:10:29,200 --> 00:10:30,226
Okay?
350
00:10:30,250 --> 00:10:31,226
You're my best friend, Chilly.
351
00:10:31,250 --> 00:10:32,255
I support you and I love you.
352
00:10:32,279 --> 00:10:34,235
Here's your speech.
353
00:10:34,259 --> 00:10:36,217
- Reckon I might speak
- from the heart...
354
00:10:36,250 --> 00:10:38,146
- Which is beating
- out of my chest.
355
00:10:38,179 --> 00:10:40,029
That's a bad idea!
356
00:10:42,000 --> 00:10:43,245
My Fellow Pole-icans.
357
00:10:43,269 --> 00:10:44,255
Many years ago,
358
00:10:44,279 --> 00:10:46,015
some decisions were made
359
00:10:46,039 --> 00:10:47,126
about who was naughty
360
00:10:47,150 --> 00:10:48,245
and who was nice,
361
00:10:48,269 --> 00:10:50,245
and it was an okay framework,
362
00:10:50,269 --> 00:10:52,206
but somewhere along the way,
363
00:10:52,230 --> 00:10:54,187
- we've let our lives
- turn into a list.
364
00:10:56,009 --> 00:10:57,196
Of grievances.
365
00:10:57,220 --> 00:10:59,046
Of differences.
366
00:10:59,070 --> 00:11:00,047
Of who's naughty
367
00:11:00,071 --> 00:11:01,056
and who's nice.
368
00:11:01,080 --> 00:11:02,056
And all we do now
369
00:11:02,080 --> 00:11:04,136
- is focus on
- how much we hate each other.
370
00:11:06,269 --> 00:11:08,019
We forgot why we were here.
371
00:11:09,059 --> 00:11:10,859
- Which is to make the world
- a better place.
372
00:11:12,000 --> 00:11:13,000
For children.
373
00:11:14,220 --> 00:11:15,607
And, yo, seriously,
374
00:11:15,631 --> 00:11:17,025
whoever leaked that photo,
375
00:11:17,049 --> 00:11:18,226
that was naughty, man.
376
00:11:19,250 --> 00:11:21,196
But you know what?
377
00:11:21,220 --> 00:11:23,046
Maybe you had a reason for it.
378
00:11:23,070 --> 00:11:25,086
- Maybe something happened
- at some point in your life
379
00:11:25,110 --> 00:11:26,076
That made you think
380
00:11:26,100 --> 00:11:28,246
- committing crimes of the web
- was a good idea.
381
00:11:30,159 --> 00:11:32,206
So, hacker...
382
00:11:32,230 --> 00:11:33,230
I forgive you.
383
00:11:34,240 --> 00:11:36,025
And when you forgive,
384
00:11:36,049 --> 00:11:38,156
- the truth
- is no longer so scary, is it?
385
00:11:40,269 --> 00:11:42,005
My fellow pole-icans...
386
00:11:42,029 --> 00:11:44,070
that was my big, hairy dick.
387
00:11:46,070 --> 00:11:48,255
Peace and good tidings to all!
388
00:11:51,230 --> 00:11:54,029
Do not go in there!
389
00:11:55,029 --> 00:11:56,039
Whoo!
390
00:11:57,169 --> 00:11:59,025
He owned it.
391
00:11:59,049 --> 00:12:00,097
The one thing
392
00:12:00,121 --> 00:12:01,190
I didn't see coming.
393
00:12:03,019 --> 00:12:04,126
I mean, there were only
394
00:12:04,150 --> 00:12:05,265
two real moves there...
395
00:12:05,289 --> 00:12:07,005
He could have resigned!
396
00:12:07,029 --> 00:12:08,226
Whatever, dude.
397
00:12:08,250 --> 00:12:11,056
Do you have my drug money?
398
00:12:11,080 --> 00:12:12,289
What is wrong with you?
399
00:12:13,000 --> 00:12:15,135
I'm a penguin in a sauna, man.
400
00:12:15,159 --> 00:12:16,995
- Why couldn't we just meet
- in the abandoned lot
401
00:12:17,019 --> 00:12:18,255
Behind Lollipop Lane?
402
00:12:18,279 --> 00:12:20,197
- When the abandoned lot
- behind Lollipop Lane
403
00:12:20,230 --> 00:12:22,026
- Gets a juice bar
- and a squash court,
404
00:12:22,059 --> 00:12:23,056
We can talk.
405
00:12:23,080 --> 00:12:24,196
Till then, shut the fuck up.
406
00:12:24,220 --> 00:12:27,015
There's a war comin', Cocoa.
407
00:12:27,039 --> 00:12:28,096
And in the end,
408
00:12:28,120 --> 00:12:30,015
I will stand on the ashes
409
00:12:30,039 --> 00:12:31,265
of those who perished
410
00:12:31,289 --> 00:12:34,090
to make me King.
411
00:12:35,289 --> 00:12:36,289
Well, there's
412
00:12:37,000 --> 00:12:38,056
that Christmas spirit.
413
00:12:38,080 --> 00:12:39,230
Oh.26643
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