Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:05,740 --> 00:00:06,740
APPLAUSE
2
00:00:08,380 --> 00:00:09,380
GENTLE PIANO MUSIC
3
00:00:19,120 --> 00:00:22,390
Good evening and welcome to this
festive edition of Play of the Week.
4
00:00:22,900 --> 00:00:24,295
I'm Chris Bean, the director.
5
00:00:26,860 --> 00:00:29,553
The BBC has recently refused to
fund any more episodes of
6
00:00:30,260 --> 00:00:31,260
Play of the Week,
7
00:00:31,470 --> 00:00:33,442
but thanks to some
additional sponsorship,
8
00:00:33,580 --> 00:00:35,023
we are gladly able to continue
9
00:00:35,310 --> 00:00:37,282
with tonight's production
of The Nativity.
10
00:00:37,810 --> 00:00:40,839
I should also inform you that a
fire alarm test was scheduled to
11
00:00:41,500 --> 00:00:42,895
happen in our studio tonight.
12
00:00:42,940 --> 00:00:45,921
I did email the BBC to try to have
it moved, but they said they
13
00:00:46,190 --> 00:00:49,364
would rather disturb our broadcast
than one of their empty studios.
14
00:00:51,630 --> 00:00:53,938
I called their bluff and,
after a frank exchange,
15
00:00:54,830 --> 00:00:57,234
we will now be having two
fire alarm tests tonight.
16
00:00:58,930 --> 00:01:00,277
So, the actors are prepared.
17
00:01:01,680 --> 00:01:02,680
The stage is set.
18
00:01:03,660 --> 00:01:06,882
Please enjoy The Nativity, sponsored
by Brookshaw Corporate Finance.
19
00:01:22,300 --> 00:01:23,695
Our story begins with Mary...
20
00:01:26,190 --> 00:01:28,210
...a young woman from
the town of Nazareth,
21
00:01:28,780 --> 00:01:30,848
and her husband, Joseph,
a humble carpenter.
22
00:01:36,340 --> 00:01:37,340
Oh!
23
00:01:40,420 --> 00:01:41,420
Oh, Joseph.
24
00:01:41,810 --> 00:01:43,445
DRAMATIC BIBLICAL FILM MUSIC PLAYS
25
00:01:45,900 --> 00:01:47,583
Behold! I am the Archangel Gabriel.
26
00:01:49,940 --> 00:01:51,142
Witness the light of God.
27
00:01:52,620 --> 00:01:54,495
Kneel before
the messenger of the Lor...
28
00:01:54,860 --> 00:01:55,860
Not yet.
29
00:02:03,460 --> 00:02:04,460
Oh, Joseph.
30
00:02:04,980 --> 00:02:06,996
Nothing interesting ever
happens in Nazareth.
31
00:02:07,020 --> 00:02:08,751
But did you hear word of the census?
32
00:02:09,460 --> 00:02:12,393
Mary, we must travel to Bethlehem
to be counted by the Romans.
33
00:02:13,420 --> 00:02:15,824
We shall have to buy a donkey
to make that journey.
34
00:02:15,940 --> 00:02:17,190
But we have not the money.
35
00:02:17,520 --> 00:02:20,117
I have not sold so much as a
crude stool in two months.
36
00:02:21,620 --> 00:02:23,784
Fear not, my love,
you are a master carpenter.
37
00:02:27,950 --> 00:02:28,950
Finished.
38
00:02:31,540 --> 00:02:33,127
Money will come if we have faith.
39
00:02:34,350 --> 00:02:35,360
Faith is all we have.
40
00:02:42,220 --> 00:02:43,615
We must put our trust in God.
41
00:02:44,780 --> 00:02:47,761
Or perhaps we should consider
a small business loan allowing us
42
00:02:48,050 --> 00:02:49,589
to expand our range of products.
43
00:02:50,100 --> 00:02:51,735
Would the interest not cripple us?
44
00:02:51,950 --> 00:02:53,681
Not at the 3.4% variable APR offered
45
00:02:54,380 --> 00:02:56,400
exclusively by
Brookshaw Corporate Finance.
46
00:02:57,390 --> 00:02:58,400
Now that's a miracle.
47
00:03:01,060 --> 00:03:02,695
DRAMATIC BIBLICAL FILM MUSIC PLAYS
48
00:03:05,500 --> 00:03:06,500
Behold!
49
00:03:06,820 --> 00:03:07,820
Argh!
50
00:03:08,140 --> 00:03:09,140
CRASH!
51
00:03:13,970 --> 00:03:14,970
Hello.
52
00:03:15,250 --> 00:03:16,549
I am the Archangel Gabriel.
53
00:03:28,780 --> 00:03:30,607
Kneel before the messenger
of the Lord.
54
00:03:30,860 --> 00:03:32,303
But... But do not be afraid...
55
00:03:34,000 --> 00:03:35,000
BANG!
ARGHH!
56
00:03:37,420 --> 00:03:38,622
..For I bring great news.
57
00:03:39,380 --> 00:03:40,630
You will conceive a child.
58
00:03:41,420 --> 00:03:42,420
A child!
59
00:03:42,830 --> 00:03:44,369
# For unto us a child is bo... #
60
00:03:45,520 --> 00:03:46,915
DIRECTOR: That's cut, Dennis.
61
00:03:49,940 --> 00:03:51,142
But I can't have a child.
62
00:03:51,980 --> 00:03:52,980
I'm a virgin.
63
00:03:56,270 --> 00:03:59,444
I've been sent to tell you that
you have been impregnated remotely.
64
00:03:59,980 --> 00:04:01,663
Sorry, that came out very sinister.
65
00:04:02,350 --> 00:04:03,350
It's a good thing.
66
00:04:03,950 --> 00:04:06,616
The babe is a gift from the Lord,
and I have been sent to tell you,
67
00:04:06,640 --> 00:04:07,640
from on high...
68
00:04:11,310 --> 00:04:13,330
I've been sent to tell
you, from on high...
69
00:04:16,560 --> 00:04:18,339
I've been sent to tell you,
from here,
70
00:04:18,610 --> 00:04:20,485
that this child shall be
the Son of God.
71
00:04:22,900 --> 00:04:24,006
DRAMATIC BIBLICAL MUSIC
72
00:04:24,300 --> 00:04:26,945
But why would the good Lord
choose me to bear his child?
73
00:04:27,120 --> 00:04:28,120
BANG!
ARGH! ARGHHHH!
74
00:04:31,020 --> 00:04:32,655
The Lord moves in mysterious ways.
75
00:04:33,460 --> 00:04:34,566
You are now with child.
76
00:04:36,460 --> 00:04:37,460
ZAP!
77
00:04:38,260 --> 00:04:39,260
Wow!
78
00:04:42,030 --> 00:04:44,194
Heed my words, for I am
a prophet of the Lord.
79
00:04:44,910 --> 00:04:46,209
And everyone likes profits.
80
00:04:47,260 --> 00:04:48,655
# Brookshaw Corporate Finance
81
00:04:50,290 --> 00:04:51,540
# Even Jesus loves cash! #
82
00:04:55,980 --> 00:04:56,980
MARY:Urgh.
83
00:04:57,460 --> 00:04:58,807
Carry on, we need the money.
84
00:04:59,260 --> 00:05:01,376
And with that, the Angel
spread his arms wide
85
00:05:02,190 --> 00:05:04,354
and, with great majesty,
ascended into heaven.
86
00:05:06,350 --> 00:05:07,552
BIBLICAL FILM MUSIC PLAYS
87
00:05:15,950 --> 00:05:16,950
Er... Joyous day!
88
00:05:17,980 --> 00:05:18,980
How blessed we are!
89
00:05:19,340 --> 00:05:20,340
But we must hasten
90
00:05:20,620 --> 00:05:23,601
if we are to travel to Bethlehem
before the holy child is born.
91
00:05:23,630 --> 00:05:26,323
Aye, Mary, I shall purchase
a donkey to make the journey.
92
00:05:26,900 --> 00:05:27,900
Oh, piss.
93
00:05:42,260 --> 00:05:43,991
These are also a gift from the Lord.
94
00:05:45,390 --> 00:05:46,390
BANG!
ARGH!
95
00:05:48,820 --> 00:05:50,503
Mary and Joseph purchased a donkey,
96
00:05:51,220 --> 00:05:53,144
loaded their few belongings
onto its back
97
00:05:54,350 --> 00:05:55,697
and set off into the desert.
98
00:05:56,140 --> 00:05:57,140
MUSIC: Little Donkey
99
00:06:05,550 --> 00:06:06,550
Annie, Keep up.
100
00:06:06,900 --> 00:06:08,054
All right! I'll keep up.
101
00:06:09,140 --> 00:06:10,390
It's just...it's not easy.
102
00:06:17,650 --> 00:06:20,102
Mary, let me help you take
the weight off your feet.
103
00:06:20,910 --> 00:06:21,910
No. No. No.
104
00:06:23,340 --> 00:06:24,340
Oh, oh.No.
105
00:06:26,100 --> 00:06:27,100
Er, we'll walk.
106
00:06:29,230 --> 00:06:30,769
Farewell, good town of Nazareth.
107
00:06:31,090 --> 00:06:32,090
MUSIC: Little Donkey
108
00:06:39,980 --> 00:06:40,980
# Little donkey
109
00:06:42,100 --> 00:06:43,687
# Little donkey on the dusty road
110
00:06:47,540 --> 00:06:49,127
# Got to keep on plodding onwards
111
00:06:51,380 --> 00:06:52,582
# With your precious load
112
00:06:55,660 --> 00:06:57,247
# Been a long time, little donkey
113
00:06:59,060 --> 00:07:00,407
# Through the winter's night
114
00:07:03,580 --> 00:07:05,215
# Don't give up now, little donkey
115
00:07:07,820 --> 00:07:08,878
# Bethlehem's in sight
116
00:07:11,660 --> 00:07:13,103
# Ring out those bells tonight
117
00:07:15,760 --> 00:07:16,818
# Bethlehem, Bethlehem
118
00:07:19,790 --> 00:07:21,040
# Follow that star tonight
119
00:07:23,820 --> 00:07:24,878
# Bethlehem, Bethlehem
120
00:07:27,580 --> 00:07:28,830
# Follow that star tonight
121
00:07:31,630 --> 00:07:32,688
# Bethlehem, Bethlehem
122
00:07:35,860 --> 00:07:37,303
# Little donkey, little donkey
123
00:07:39,700 --> 00:07:40,700
# Had a heavy day
124
00:07:43,790 --> 00:07:44,790
# Little donkey
125
00:07:45,820 --> 00:07:47,407
# Carry Mary safely on her way. #
126
00:07:53,520 --> 00:07:54,674
Look, Joseph! Bethlehem!
127
00:07:57,360 --> 00:07:58,360
You're sagging.
128
00:07:59,620 --> 00:08:02,265
Next time, I'm being the head
and you're being the arse.
129
00:08:04,020 --> 00:08:06,857
Meanwhile, in a field far outside
Bethlehem, three shepherds
130
00:08:07,920 --> 00:08:09,363
watched their flocks by night.
131
00:08:11,820 --> 00:08:14,705
MUSIC: While Shepherds Watched
Their Flocks by Tate and Brady
132
00:08:28,270 --> 00:08:29,270
Ay Barshabba.
133
00:08:29,870 --> 00:08:31,361
'Tis a mild winter's eve for...
134
00:08:32,750 --> 00:08:33,750
ALARM BELL RINGS
135
00:08:34,350 --> 00:08:36,376
There it is. There it is.
There's the fire alarm.
136
00:08:36,400 --> 00:08:38,516
Everyone, stay calm.
Just stay in your seats.
137
00:08:38,580 --> 00:08:39,879
Fire! There's a fire! Fire!
138
00:08:40,060 --> 00:08:41,551
No, it's a drill. It's a drill.
139
00:08:41,710 --> 00:08:44,210
OK, OK, OK.Everyone, stay calm,
it won't be a moment.
140
00:08:44,530 --> 00:08:47,559
Studio patrons, it has become
necessary to evacuate the venue...
141
00:08:47,920 --> 00:08:49,176
No, no, no. It's just a drill.
142
00:08:49,200 --> 00:08:50,931
..All personal belongings
and make...
143
00:08:50,990 --> 00:08:52,433
No! We don't need to evacuate.
144
00:08:52,660 --> 00:08:53,814
I can't hear you, Chris.
145
00:08:53,980 --> 00:08:55,182
Studio patrons, please...
146
00:08:55,340 --> 00:08:56,687
No! GO BACKSTAGE! All right?
147
00:08:57,460 --> 00:08:59,606
You've changed!
Why have you changed!?It's a fire.
148
00:08:59,630 --> 00:09:01,846
If there's a fire you're not
supposed to get changed,
149
00:09:01,870 --> 00:09:04,276
you're supposed to get out.
Yep, everyone out.No, no, no.
150
00:09:04,300 --> 00:09:05,300
Keep moving.
151
00:09:05,500 --> 00:09:06,500
Stand up, please.
152
00:09:06,740 --> 00:09:07,740
Ah, ah, ah.
153
00:09:08,780 --> 00:09:10,127
Chris, not again! Not again.
154
00:09:10,420 --> 00:09:12,440
I repeat. There is a fire!
There is a fire!
155
00:09:13,460 --> 00:09:14,460
THERE'S NO FIRE...
156
00:09:14,990 --> 00:09:16,337
FIRE ALARM STOPS
..YOU MORON!
157
00:09:19,470 --> 00:09:20,470
Merry Christmas.
158
00:09:21,070 --> 00:09:22,070
Let's continue.
159
00:09:22,300 --> 00:09:23,300
DRILL WHIRS Here.
160
00:09:23,950 --> 00:09:24,950
Get off.
161
00:09:30,350 --> 00:09:33,812
Suddenly, in the sky above them, the
shepherds saw a most majestic sight.
162
00:09:36,750 --> 00:09:37,750
GABRIEL GRUNTS
163
00:09:47,310 --> 00:09:48,512
Behold! The light of God!
164
00:09:50,020 --> 00:09:51,020
CRACKLE
165
00:09:51,410 --> 00:09:52,410
Underwhelming.
166
00:09:52,560 --> 00:09:55,205
Make a note - I need more
fireworks for the final scene.
167
00:09:55,250 --> 00:09:56,981
I bring good tidings of great joy...
168
00:09:57,620 --> 00:09:58,620
Ah!
169
00:10:05,740 --> 00:10:06,740
Halo.
170
00:10:10,420 --> 00:10:11,420
Halo.
171
00:10:12,140 --> 00:10:13,140
Hello.
172
00:10:13,490 --> 00:10:14,490
No.
173
00:10:16,300 --> 00:10:17,300
Halo.
174
00:10:19,630 --> 00:10:20,630
ALL:Hello.No!
175
00:10:20,980 --> 00:10:21,980
Halo!
176
00:10:22,580 --> 00:10:23,580
Over there!
177
00:10:29,500 --> 00:10:30,500
ALL:Hello.
178
00:10:31,180 --> 00:10:32,180
No! On the floor!
179
00:10:36,850 --> 00:10:37,850
ALL:Hello!
180
00:10:38,190 --> 00:10:39,190
No! Halo!
181
00:10:40,500 --> 00:10:41,500
Halo!
182
00:10:42,100 --> 00:10:43,447
Is it me you're looking for?
183
00:10:44,020 --> 00:10:45,020
No!
184
00:10:45,360 --> 00:10:46,995
The round, sparkly hat! All right?
185
00:10:48,430 --> 00:10:49,825
Give me my round sparkly hat!
186
00:10:50,670 --> 00:10:51,670
Not my personal one!
187
00:10:54,220 --> 00:10:55,220
The halo.Ah.
188
00:11:00,980 --> 00:11:01,980
Higher!
189
00:11:02,450 --> 00:11:03,450
ALL:Hiya!
190
00:11:03,660 --> 00:11:04,660
No, higher!
191
00:11:05,260 --> 00:11:06,751
ALL IN HIGH-PITCHED VOICE:Hiya!
192
00:11:07,180 --> 00:11:08,180
Forget the halo.
193
00:11:08,530 --> 00:11:09,540
Be not afraid. JESUS!
194
00:11:11,150 --> 00:11:12,208
No, he isn't born yet,
195
00:11:13,460 --> 00:11:15,816
although that brings
me neatly onto my next point.
196
00:11:16,540 --> 00:11:18,704
Jesus will be born
and he shall be the King...
197
00:11:19,150 --> 00:11:20,150
..OF KINGS.
198
00:11:24,100 --> 00:11:26,956
You shall find a babe wrapped in
swaddling shawls in a manger.
199
00:11:26,980 --> 00:11:28,807
To find him, you must
follow this star.
200
00:11:29,860 --> 00:11:31,062
BIBLICAL FILM MUSIC PLAYS
201
00:11:42,770 --> 00:11:43,770
I am a messenger...
202
00:11:44,430 --> 00:11:45,777
..FROM THE LORD! AH, AH, AH.
203
00:11:50,770 --> 00:11:52,645
PANICKED:GLORY BE TO GOD
IN THE HIGHEST!
204
00:11:54,220 --> 00:11:56,288
And so the shepherds
set off into the night,
205
00:11:56,910 --> 00:11:58,209
following the guiding star.
206
00:12:00,820 --> 00:12:02,022
Just go off. Just go off.
207
00:12:05,740 --> 00:12:07,856
Meanwhile, in Herod's Palace,
in Jerusalem...
208
00:12:11,890 --> 00:12:13,381
No, no. No, no, no. Stop. Stop.
209
00:12:15,790 --> 00:12:16,790
Aaaaaaaah!
210
00:12:17,620 --> 00:12:19,832
...King Herod had awoken
from a troubled sleep.
211
00:12:20,140 --> 00:12:21,140
Argh!
212
00:12:26,740 --> 00:12:27,740
All hail King Herod!
213
00:12:29,170 --> 00:12:30,170
ALL:Hail!
214
00:12:30,380 --> 00:12:31,390
TRUMPET FANFARE PLAYS
215
00:12:33,140 --> 00:12:34,583
I slept fitfully. My dreams...
216
00:12:42,160 --> 00:12:43,170
TRUMPET FANFARE PLAYS
217
00:12:44,780 --> 00:12:47,473
I slept fitfully. My dreams
were full of dark portents...
218
00:12:50,100 --> 00:12:51,100
..and grim tidings.
219
00:12:51,950 --> 00:12:53,633
What saw you in these dreams, Sire?
220
00:12:53,980 --> 00:12:55,663
Well, I saw a babe of
great majesty.
221
00:12:56,300 --> 00:12:58,079
Yet...was wrapped
in swaddling shawls.
222
00:12:58,860 --> 00:13:00,062
Oh, most troubling, Sire.
223
00:13:01,680 --> 00:13:03,604
It seems an evil omen
looms high, indeed.
224
00:13:04,300 --> 00:13:05,839
But I saw wise men drawing near.
225
00:13:06,990 --> 00:13:08,048
I know they are close.
226
00:13:08,590 --> 00:13:10,321
When sayest you these wise men come?
227
00:13:10,830 --> 00:13:11,830
IMMINENTLY!
228
00:13:12,460 --> 00:13:14,576
By your word, King,
here come three wise men!
229
00:13:18,060 --> 00:13:20,406
STAGEHAND:Stand by, curtain.
No, no, no, we're not ready.
230
00:13:20,430 --> 00:13:22,156
We haven't got our trousers!
Cue curtain.
231
00:13:22,180 --> 00:13:23,286
No. No, no, no, no, no.
232
00:13:33,580 --> 00:13:34,580
Argh, argh, argh!
233
00:13:38,420 --> 00:13:40,824
We've come to ask Herod
for help to find the child.
234
00:13:41,100 --> 00:13:42,110
I am...I am Melchior,
235
00:13:44,020 --> 00:13:45,020
Wise Man Number One.
236
00:13:45,710 --> 00:13:47,489
I am Caspar, also
Wise Man Number One.
237
00:13:49,940 --> 00:13:50,940
And I am a shepherd.
238
00:13:52,540 --> 00:13:53,540
You're a wise man.
239
00:13:54,100 --> 00:13:55,350
Chris said I was an idiot.
240
00:13:55,820 --> 00:13:56,820
You're both.
241
00:13:57,360 --> 00:13:59,620
I am an idiot who is also
wise...and a shepherd.
242
00:14:04,340 --> 00:14:05,735
You must approach King Herod.
243
00:14:06,060 --> 00:14:08,753
IT IS JUST LIKE MY DREADED DREAM
SUGGESTS! GOOD WISE MEN!
244
00:14:09,710 --> 00:14:12,884
I CHARGE THEE, FIND THIS CHILD AND
UPON HIS DISCOVERY GIVE ME WORD!
245
00:14:18,030 --> 00:14:19,030
Help, no!
246
00:14:22,900 --> 00:14:23,900
HEROD MOANS
247
00:14:31,090 --> 00:14:32,090
Continue.
248
00:14:36,100 --> 00:14:39,033
Our generous King shall furnish
thee with gifts for the child.
249
00:14:49,780 --> 00:14:50,780
Gold.
250
00:14:51,760 --> 00:14:52,760
Ooh.
251
00:14:56,050 --> 00:14:57,050
Frankincense.
252
00:14:58,540 --> 00:14:59,540
Mm.
253
00:15:02,060 --> 00:15:03,060
And myrrh.
254
00:15:05,740 --> 00:15:06,740
Ahh. Aaagh!
255
00:15:07,060 --> 00:15:08,262
That's also for smelling.
256
00:15:10,700 --> 00:15:11,902
Thank you, generous King.
257
00:15:26,260 --> 00:15:28,184
I shall unto my chambers
and rest awhile.
258
00:15:46,900 --> 00:15:47,958
And on their return...
259
00:15:50,060 --> 00:15:51,060
Move! Come on!
260
00:15:54,350 --> 00:15:56,129
On their return,
I'll be his saboteur.
261
00:15:58,380 --> 00:15:59,380
SHE GASPS Oh!
262
00:16:02,670 --> 00:16:05,170
Arriving to be counted
in the census, Mary and Joseph
263
00:16:06,770 --> 00:16:08,501
made their way
through the streets...
264
00:16:09,140 --> 00:16:10,140
SCRAPING
265
00:16:11,820 --> 00:16:13,551
Er, Ma-Mary and Joseph made their...
266
00:16:16,690 --> 00:16:17,690
AAAAAAAH!
267
00:16:18,100 --> 00:16:20,504
MARY and Joseph made their way
through the streets,
268
00:16:22,580 --> 00:16:24,167
along with their trusty donkey...
269
00:16:27,250 --> 00:16:28,837
...who had one head and one arse.
270
00:16:31,150 --> 00:16:33,987
They needed a place to stay
in the little town of Bethlehem.
271
00:16:37,810 --> 00:16:39,397
MUSIC: O Little Town of Bethlehem
272
00:16:49,580 --> 00:16:50,927
# O little town of Bethlehem
273
00:16:54,900 --> 00:16:56,199
# How still we see thee lie
274
00:16:59,500 --> 00:17:01,231
# Above thy deep and dreamless sleep
275
00:17:04,430 --> 00:17:05,825
# The silent stars go by... #
276
00:17:09,300 --> 00:17:10,300
AAAAAAH!
277
00:17:10,510 --> 00:17:12,289
# Aaaaaand in thy
dark streets shineth
278
00:17:15,380 --> 00:17:16,486
# The everlasting light
279
00:17:19,730 --> 00:17:22,807
TO TUNE OF FUNERAL MARCH:
# The...hopes and fears of all
the years
280
00:17:27,280 --> 00:17:28,675
# Are met in thee to-oo-night
281
00:17:34,060 --> 00:17:37,426
TO TUNE OF CAMPTOWN RACES:
# For Christ is born of Mary
and gathered all
282
00:17:38,670 --> 00:17:40,738
# Above while mortals sleep,
the angels keep
283
00:17:41,550 --> 00:17:44,291
TO TUNE OF AULD LANG SYNE:
# Their watch of wondering love
284
00:17:45,710 --> 00:17:48,066
# O morning stars together
Proclaim the holy birth
285
00:17:53,710 --> 00:17:56,451
TO THE TUNE OF CAN-CAN:
# And praises sing to God the King
286
00:17:56,780 --> 00:17:58,079
# And Peace to men on Earth
287
00:17:58,380 --> 00:18:00,688
# No ear may hear His coming
but in this world of
288
00:18:01,780 --> 00:18:04,040
# Sin where meek souls
will receive him still...
289
00:18:04,660 --> 00:18:07,064
BACK TO NORMAL TUNE:
# The dear Christ enters in. #
290
00:18:11,500 --> 00:18:12,500
APPLAUSE
291
00:18:18,030 --> 00:18:21,444
CRIES OF PAIN
Mary and Joseph went from door to
door, looking for a room.
292
00:18:26,670 --> 00:18:28,065
Hello. I'm a stupid shepherd.
293
00:18:28,980 --> 00:18:29,980
Here's your myrrh.
294
00:18:32,140 --> 00:18:33,631
May God be with you, my friend.
295
00:18:34,220 --> 00:18:36,576
Please, I'm with child,
have you room at your inn?
296
00:18:38,060 --> 00:18:39,060
Yes.
297
00:18:41,070 --> 00:18:42,070
Yes?Yes.
298
00:18:45,870 --> 00:18:46,870
OK.
299
00:18:48,180 --> 00:18:49,180
No, no, no!Yes. No.
300
00:18:50,860 --> 00:18:51,870
There's no room here.
301
00:18:52,080 --> 00:18:53,523
There's room at the third one.
302
00:18:55,730 --> 00:18:56,980
Fear not, my beloved Mary.
303
00:18:57,710 --> 00:18:59,634
I am sure we will find
somewhere to rest.
304
00:19:00,220 --> 00:19:01,663
The good Lord watches over us.
305
00:19:06,480 --> 00:19:08,452
Hello. I am a wise man,
here's your myrrh.
306
00:19:13,330 --> 00:19:14,330
MUFFLED CONVERSATION
307
00:19:14,860 --> 00:19:15,860
OK, OK!
308
00:19:17,040 --> 00:19:18,723
You're an innkeeper now. Switch on!
309
00:19:20,980 --> 00:19:21,980
Have you any room?
310
00:19:24,340 --> 00:19:25,340
Yes.
311
00:19:26,260 --> 00:19:27,655
Ah! No, there's no room here.
312
00:19:28,560 --> 00:19:30,291
Innkeeper slams door in their faces.
313
00:19:36,460 --> 00:19:39,826
Oh, Mary! We have searched high and
low and there is only one inn left.
314
00:19:40,180 --> 00:19:41,863
Let's hope this innkeeper has room.
315
00:19:42,830 --> 00:19:43,840
SCREECHING
Aah! Hello.
316
00:19:44,880 --> 00:19:45,880
Who are you?
317
00:19:46,100 --> 00:19:47,350
That's...John the Baptist.
318
00:19:51,580 --> 00:19:52,580
Hello. I'm...
319
00:19:55,060 --> 00:19:56,060
I'm...
320
00:19:56,380 --> 00:19:57,438
WHISPERS:Jesus Christ.
321
00:19:57,870 --> 00:19:58,870
I'm Jesus Christ.
322
00:19:59,980 --> 00:20:00,980
The saviour is born!
323
00:20:01,710 --> 00:20:03,249
# For unto us a child is born! #
324
00:20:04,780 --> 00:20:05,780
No! That's cut.
325
00:20:06,580 --> 00:20:07,638
Right, sorry.Carry on.
326
00:20:08,050 --> 00:20:09,589
Yes. There's no room at the pub.
327
00:20:10,480 --> 00:20:11,480
Inn!OK.
328
00:20:11,700 --> 00:20:12,700
No, out!
329
00:20:12,910 --> 00:20:14,209
There's no room at the out.
330
00:20:14,510 --> 00:20:15,510
Inn!All right.
331
00:20:16,180 --> 00:20:17,180
No! Get out!
332
00:20:17,390 --> 00:20:18,390
Get out! Get out!
333
00:20:19,630 --> 00:20:20,688
No, not that!Not that!
334
00:20:21,620 --> 00:20:22,919
There's no room at the inn!
335
00:20:23,410 --> 00:20:25,334
Oh, yes, yes!
There's no room at the inn.
336
00:20:26,140 --> 00:20:27,871
All we have is an old,
lowly manager.
337
00:20:29,300 --> 00:20:30,599
Manger! There's no manager.
338
00:20:32,500 --> 00:20:34,183
There's no manager? It's Christmas!
339
00:20:35,260 --> 00:20:37,568
I'll be the old, lowly manager.
What do you want?
340
00:20:37,940 --> 00:20:39,142
They want a room.A broom?
341
00:20:39,860 --> 00:20:41,351
No.A room.
Oh, a room! Sea view?
342
00:20:43,820 --> 00:20:46,465
Do you not even have a lowly
stable where we could rest?
343
00:20:47,470 --> 00:20:48,470
I don't know, do we?
344
00:20:48,700 --> 00:20:50,479
No, we don't.No, we don't!
Yes, we do!
345
00:20:51,500 --> 00:20:53,087
Do you work here, too?Get inside!
346
00:20:55,180 --> 00:20:56,180
Aaaah!
347
00:20:59,310 --> 00:21:01,810
You two go and have your baby
in the sodding manager!
348
00:21:02,740 --> 00:21:03,740
Manger.Arghh!
349
00:21:05,500 --> 00:21:06,500
Get on the donkey!
350
00:21:18,700 --> 00:21:19,700
Move, just move.
351
00:21:21,390 --> 00:21:22,390
Next scene!
352
00:21:22,540 --> 00:21:23,540
Agh!
353
00:21:27,100 --> 00:21:29,264
Mary knew that soon
her child would be born...
354
00:21:29,900 --> 00:21:30,900
Ow. Ow. Ow.
355
00:21:32,340 --> 00:21:35,177
...as she entered the humble
stable with animals all around.
356
00:21:49,870 --> 00:21:52,611
Oh, Joseph, I do hope these
creatures will not begrudge us
357
00:21:53,740 --> 00:21:55,808
a little room in their stable
for the night.
358
00:22:00,370 --> 00:22:01,370
Yum, yum, yum.
359
00:22:02,420 --> 00:22:04,055
We must rest now, my dearest Mary.
360
00:22:04,980 --> 00:22:06,567
Soon the son of God will be born.
361
00:22:08,380 --> 00:22:10,784
Just then, there came
a knock at the stable door...
362
00:22:11,140 --> 00:22:12,140
KNOCK
363
00:22:12,340 --> 00:22:13,927
...and three wise men approached.
364
00:22:14,190 --> 00:22:15,200
MUSIC: We Three Kings
365
00:22:19,060 --> 00:22:20,118
We come bearing gifts.
366
00:22:21,940 --> 00:22:22,940
I offer you gold -
367
00:22:24,500 --> 00:22:26,904
standard accreditation for
all your business loans.
368
00:22:30,770 --> 00:22:31,770
I offer you frank...
369
00:22:33,100 --> 00:22:35,552
'n' sensible advice on all
your financial interests.
370
00:22:39,860 --> 00:22:41,062
And I offer you sustained
371
00:22:42,100 --> 00:22:43,350
low cost myrrh-gage rates.
372
00:22:49,070 --> 00:22:51,042
And look - three shepherds
approach, also.
373
00:22:55,340 --> 00:22:56,446
Oh, it's not shepherds.
374
00:22:57,460 --> 00:22:58,460
It's more wise men.
375
00:23:02,320 --> 00:23:03,955
Mary, Joseph, and the six wise men
376
00:23:06,610 --> 00:23:08,341
awaited the birth of the baby Jesus.
377
00:23:09,870 --> 00:23:12,034
The shepherds had decided
to sit this one out.
378
00:23:14,930 --> 00:23:17,094
Unless they were on the tab
on the other side?
379
00:23:21,010 --> 00:23:22,010
No. No shepherds.
380
00:23:24,270 --> 00:23:25,270
Just nine wise men.
381
00:23:27,730 --> 00:23:28,884
It's like Mensa in here.
382
00:23:34,060 --> 00:23:35,214
All was quiet and still.
383
00:23:40,270 --> 00:23:41,270
MUSIC: Silent Night
384
00:23:48,020 --> 00:23:49,020
# Silent night
385
00:23:51,700 --> 00:23:52,700
# Holy night... #
386
00:23:55,540 --> 00:23:56,540
ALARM RINGING
387
00:23:57,100 --> 00:23:58,100
The second one.
388
00:23:58,190 --> 00:23:59,190
# All is calm... #
389
00:23:59,220 --> 00:24:00,220
Don't worry.
390
00:24:00,500 --> 00:24:01,500
# All is bright... #
391
00:24:02,030 --> 00:24:03,329
Can we turn it off, please?
392
00:24:04,340 --> 00:24:05,340
# Round yon... #
393
00:24:05,620 --> 00:24:06,870
# Turn it off! Virgin... #
394
00:24:08,750 --> 00:24:10,289
Cut the wires!
# ..And child... #
395
00:24:11,310 --> 00:24:12,849
Cut the wires!
# Holy Infant... #
396
00:24:14,640 --> 00:24:15,746
Just sing over the top.
397
00:24:16,240 --> 00:24:17,442
# So tender and mild... #
398
00:24:18,700 --> 00:24:19,700
Louder!
399
00:24:20,270 --> 00:24:21,424
# SLEEP IN HEAVENLY... #
400
00:24:23,790 --> 00:24:24,790
Louder! # PEACE! #
401
00:24:27,890 --> 00:24:28,890
# SLEEP IN...
402
00:24:29,870 --> 00:24:31,601
ALARM STOPS
QUIETLY: # Heavenly peace
403
00:24:36,140 --> 00:24:37,140
# Silent night
404
00:24:39,340 --> 00:24:40,340
# Holy night... #
405
00:24:44,270 --> 00:24:45,270
Fire! Hot fire!
406
00:24:48,110 --> 00:24:49,601
Fire alarm!
We've cut the wires.
407
00:24:49,970 --> 00:24:51,269
Fire blanket. Fire blanket!
408
00:24:52,180 --> 00:24:53,767
# Glories stream from heaven afar
409
00:25:00,100 --> 00:25:01,110
# Heavenly hosts... #
410
00:25:02,860 --> 00:25:04,351
Out of the way. Out of the way!
411
00:25:04,820 --> 00:25:05,820
# Hallelujah
412
00:25:08,660 --> 00:25:09,660
# Christ...
413
00:25:11,920 --> 00:25:13,267
# ..the Saviour is born... #
414
00:25:16,590 --> 00:25:18,273
Heeyah! Heeyah!
What are you doing?!
415
00:25:19,300 --> 00:25:20,454
Fighting fire with fire!
416
00:25:21,100 --> 00:25:22,100
Get off, you idiot!
417
00:25:23,060 --> 00:25:24,407
# Christ the Saviour is born
418
00:25:28,620 --> 00:25:30,111
# Christ the Saviour is born! #
419
00:25:36,700 --> 00:25:37,700
APPLAUSE
420
00:25:42,580 --> 00:25:43,590
And with that, the...
421
00:25:44,180 --> 00:25:45,190
ALARM RINGING Please!
422
00:25:46,220 --> 00:25:47,220
ALARM STOPS
423
00:25:50,510 --> 00:25:52,241
And with that,
the...story continued.
424
00:25:54,350 --> 00:25:55,552
I hear a choir of angels.
425
00:25:56,620 --> 00:25:57,774
The delivery is upon us.
426
00:25:58,450 --> 00:26:01,095
And the light of the Angel Gabriel
shone down upon them.
427
00:26:03,250 --> 00:26:04,250
WHIRRING, BEEPING
428
00:26:13,230 --> 00:26:14,480
Behold the light...of God.
429
00:26:19,380 --> 00:26:20,380
Aaaaah!
430
00:26:20,780 --> 00:26:21,780
CRASH!
431
00:26:23,090 --> 00:26:24,437
And at that sacred moment...
432
00:26:25,710 --> 00:26:26,710
Aaaah!
433
00:26:27,060 --> 00:26:28,060
FIREWORKS EXPLODE
434
00:26:28,460 --> 00:26:29,710
AND AT THAT SACRED MOMENT,
435
00:26:30,510 --> 00:26:32,193
THE HOLY SON OF THE
LORD WAS BROUGHT
436
00:26:32,820 --> 00:26:33,820
FORTH INTO LIFE.
437
00:26:34,480 --> 00:26:35,480
Aaaaah!
438
00:26:43,700 --> 00:26:44,950
Now that was more like it!
439
00:26:46,830 --> 00:26:49,042
Camera seven, camera seven!
Get down! Get down!
440
00:26:53,420 --> 00:26:55,824
And at that sacred moment, the
holy Son of the Lord
441
00:26:58,900 --> 00:27:00,247
was brought forth into life.
442
00:27:03,660 --> 00:27:04,660
Aah!
443
00:27:06,700 --> 00:27:07,700
He's beautiful.
444
00:27:07,950 --> 00:27:08,950
Hang on. Wait, wait.
445
00:27:10,510 --> 00:27:11,510
Hello.
446
00:27:12,180 --> 00:27:13,334
We shall call him Jesus.
447
00:27:15,380 --> 00:27:16,919
The three wise men approached...
448
00:27:25,100 --> 00:27:27,600
...and knelt to give their gifts
to the Christ Child.
449
00:27:32,080 --> 00:27:33,475
Gold, frankincense and myrrh.
450
00:27:36,750 --> 00:27:38,722
Thank you, wise men,
for these kind gifts.
451
00:27:42,580 --> 00:27:43,590
MUSIC: We Three Kings
452
00:27:55,060 --> 00:27:56,166
And on that holy night,
453
00:27:57,490 --> 00:27:59,558
everyone in the stable
stood looking proudly
454
00:28:00,750 --> 00:28:02,193
at the beautiful newborn babe.
455
00:28:04,720 --> 00:28:05,720
The end.
456
00:28:08,020 --> 00:28:09,847
No, no!No, no, no!
No!No!No, no, no!No!
457
00:28:15,600 --> 00:28:16,600
APPLAUSE
38846
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
