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1
00:00:03,412 --> 00:00:06,040
All right.
I'm ready for my next question.
2
00:00:06,682 --> 00:00:09,549
In a world where rhinoceroses
are domesticated pets...
3
00:00:09,719 --> 00:00:11,516
...who wins the Second World War?
4
00:00:15,091 --> 00:00:16,991
- Uganda.
- Defend.
5
00:00:17,160 --> 00:00:20,220
Kenya rises to power
on the export of rhinoceroses.
6
00:00:20,396 --> 00:00:24,423
A central African power block is formed
colonizing North Africa and Europe.
7
00:00:24,600 --> 00:00:27,899
When war breaks out,
no one can afford the luxury of a rhino.
8
00:00:28,070 --> 00:00:30,334
Kenya withers, Uganda triumphs.
9
00:00:33,075 --> 00:00:34,804
Correct. My turn.
10
00:00:36,946 --> 00:00:41,007
In a world where a piano is a weapon,
not a musical instrument...
11
00:00:41,184 --> 00:00:44,745
...on what does Scott Joplin
play the "Maple Leaf Rag."
12
00:00:45,955 --> 00:00:48,617
- Tuned bayonets.
- Defend.
13
00:00:48,824 --> 00:00:51,952
- Isn't it obvious?
- You're right, my apologies.
14
00:00:54,697 --> 00:00:57,222
What the hell are you guys playing?
15
00:00:57,400 --> 00:01:00,733
It's a game we invented.
It's called Counterfactuals.
16
00:01:00,903 --> 00:01:04,304
We postulate an alternate world
that differs from ours in one aspect...
17
00:01:04,473 --> 00:01:09,274
...then pose questions to each other.
- It's fun for ages 8 to 80. Join us.
18
00:01:10,246 --> 00:01:13,374
All right. I like a good brainteaser.
I'll give it a whirl.
19
00:01:13,549 --> 00:01:15,278
You're in luck. This is an easy one.
20
00:01:15,451 --> 00:01:20,787
In a world where mankind is ruled
by a giant intelligent beaver...
21
00:01:20,957 --> 00:01:23,585
...what food is no longer consumed.
22
00:01:24,427 --> 00:01:25,758
Uh...
23
00:01:25,928 --> 00:01:29,557
A BLT where the B stands for beaver?
I don't know.
24
00:01:30,866 --> 00:01:33,391
Leonard, be serious.
We're playing a game here.
25
00:01:33,970 --> 00:01:35,597
Ahem, I can figure this out. Let's see.
26
00:01:35,771 --> 00:01:36,795
Um...
27
00:01:36,973 --> 00:01:39,271
Well, beavers eat tree bark.
28
00:01:39,442 --> 00:01:42,502
The only tree bark I know
that humans consume is cinnamon.
29
00:01:42,678 --> 00:01:44,839
- So I'll say cinnamon.
- Incorrect.
30
00:01:45,014 --> 00:01:48,472
Obviously, the answer is cheese Danish.
31
00:01:49,485 --> 00:01:52,784
- What?
- In a world ruled by a giant beaver...
32
00:01:52,955 --> 00:01:56,015
...mankind builds many dams
to please the beaver overlord.
33
00:01:56,192 --> 00:01:59,525
The low-lying city of Copenhagen
is flooded, thousands die...
34
00:01:59,695 --> 00:02:03,756
...devastated, the Danes never invent
their namesake pastry.
35
00:02:06,702 --> 00:02:09,000
How does one miss that?
36
00:02:10,306 --> 00:02:12,831
This is ridiculous.
You're just making stuff up.
37
00:02:13,409 --> 00:02:15,172
Is he always like this when he loses?
38
00:02:15,344 --> 00:02:20,281
Oh, yes. You should have been here
for the great Jenga tantrum of 2008.
39
00:02:22,051 --> 00:02:24,349
You bumped the table
and you know it.
40
00:02:28,624 --> 00:02:32,492
Perhaps it would be kinder to play
a game more suited to his abilities.
41
00:02:32,662 --> 00:02:36,359
We'll close our eyes and count to ten
while you hide.
42
00:02:37,300 --> 00:02:38,324
I'm going to my room.
43
00:02:38,501 --> 00:02:42,301
Very good, Leonard. But next time,
don't tell us where you're hiding.
44
00:03:11,067 --> 00:03:14,264
See the paper in The American
Physics Journal on supersolids?
45
00:03:14,437 --> 00:03:16,735
This guy's working
from a hypothesis where...
46
00:03:16,906 --> 00:03:19,568
- Spoiler alert, spoiler alert.
- What?
47
00:03:19,742 --> 00:03:23,337
Don't ruin it for me, man.
I printed out a PDF to read on the potty.
48
00:03:23,512 --> 00:03:25,503
On the potty? What are you, 5?
49
00:03:25,681 --> 00:03:27,808
- It's a potty. What do you call it?
- Toilet.
50
00:03:27,983 --> 00:03:30,611
A little vulgar for the dinner table,
don't you think?
51
00:03:30,786 --> 00:03:32,754
Oh, and potty is okay?
52
00:03:32,922 --> 00:03:34,822
Potty is innocent. Potty is adorable.
53
00:03:35,591 --> 00:03:37,525
What do you do in the potty,
wee-wee?
54
00:03:38,327 --> 00:03:40,921
If I don't have to boom-boom.
55
00:03:41,097 --> 00:03:42,121
Greetings.
56
00:03:42,298 --> 00:03:45,028
- Uh, you all remember Amy Farrah Fowler.
LEONARD: Sure, hi.
57
00:03:45,201 --> 00:03:46,793
- Hello.
- Sorry we're late.
58
00:03:46,969 --> 00:03:49,995
I must take responsibility. I had to stop
for feminine hygiene supplies.
59
00:03:50,172 --> 00:03:51,605
LEONARD: Ah!
HOWARD: Okay.
60
00:03:51,774 --> 00:03:53,537
I believe she's experiencing her menses.
61
00:03:54,276 --> 00:03:56,608
Actually, I'm not.
In order to avoid surprises...
62
00:03:56,779 --> 00:03:58,679
...I wear them all the time.
HOWARD: Okay.
63
00:03:59,949 --> 00:04:02,144
Toilet's sounding
pretty good now, huh?
64
00:04:03,619 --> 00:04:05,712
Hey, look, it's Shamy.
65
00:04:05,955 --> 00:04:09,982
- Shamy?
- A juvenile amalgamation of our names.
66
00:04:10,159 --> 00:04:12,787
Sheldon, Amy. Shamy.
67
00:04:13,162 --> 00:04:14,186
Oh.
68
00:04:14,363 --> 00:04:16,126
I don't like that. Don't do that.
69
00:04:17,233 --> 00:04:19,360
Heh. Alrighty. What's new?
70
00:04:19,535 --> 00:04:23,027
Recently, I learned that you refer to us
as Shamy and I don't like that.
71
00:04:23,873 --> 00:04:27,741
I got it. But what I was going for was,
you know, how's your life?
72
00:04:27,943 --> 00:04:29,376
Like everybody else's.
73
00:04:29,545 --> 00:04:32,480
Subject to entropy,
decay and eventual death.
74
00:04:34,216 --> 00:04:37,049
Thank you for asking.
Why is she not taking our order?
75
00:04:37,219 --> 00:04:38,413
I should have warned you.
76
00:04:38,587 --> 00:04:41,522
One has to navigate
a labyrinth of social nonsense...
77
00:04:41,690 --> 00:04:43,487
...before one can be fed here.
78
00:04:44,226 --> 00:04:47,320
I assumed that an establishment
called the Cheesecake Factory...
79
00:04:47,496 --> 00:04:49,327
...would function more efficiently.
80
00:04:49,498 --> 00:04:52,695
It's how they lure you in.
I believe it's called "bait and switch."
81
00:04:53,903 --> 00:04:57,669
Okay, I'm just gonna walk away
because I don't wanna be here.
82
00:05:00,543 --> 00:05:01,703
(RAJESH SIGHS)
83
00:05:02,344 --> 00:05:05,677
So this is nice. First time
we've all gotten together to eat.
84
00:05:06,382 --> 00:05:08,748
You're right, he's a festival
of humdrum chitchat.
85
00:05:10,686 --> 00:05:13,917
Okay, that's all I got.
Howard, you're up.
86
00:05:14,290 --> 00:05:19,250
- Um, tell us about your work, Amy.
- I doubt you'd understand.
87
00:05:19,428 --> 00:05:21,919
Sheldon tells me
you only have a Master's degree.
88
00:05:24,400 --> 00:05:26,300
Raj? Do you have
any questions for Amy?
89
00:05:30,239 --> 00:05:32,730
I'm curious as to why
we're not eating alone.
90
00:05:32,908 --> 00:05:34,637
They can't function without me.
91
00:05:34,810 --> 00:05:38,906
I'm the social glue
that holds this little group together.
92
00:05:40,049 --> 00:05:41,107
You're welcome.
93
00:05:43,886 --> 00:05:46,320
Listen, can I talk to you
about your girlfriend?
94
00:05:46,522 --> 00:05:47,989
She's not my girlfriend.
95
00:05:48,157 --> 00:05:50,057
She's a girl and she's my friend...
96
00:05:50,226 --> 00:05:51,625
...but there's no touching...
97
00:05:51,794 --> 00:05:54,922
...or unsanitary exchange of saliva.
98
00:05:55,764 --> 00:05:56,788
Got it.
99
00:05:56,966 --> 00:05:58,558
SHELDON:
Although, on one occasion...
100
00:05:58,734 --> 00:06:01,225
...she licked her thumb
to remove raspberry jelly...
101
00:06:01,403 --> 00:06:03,098
...from the corner of my mouth.
102
00:06:03,272 --> 00:06:05,968
It was an action
we both regret to this day.
103
00:06:06,141 --> 00:06:09,076
Uh-huh. Anyway. I'm not sure
she's the best fit...
104
00:06:09,245 --> 00:06:12,646
...for our little, how should we call it,
rebel alliance.
105
00:06:12,815 --> 00:06:15,978
Oh, I never identified
with the Rebel Alliance.
106
00:06:16,151 --> 00:06:18,619
Despite their tendency
to build Death Stars...
107
00:06:18,787 --> 00:06:21,756
...I've always been
more of an Empire man.
108
00:06:22,591 --> 00:06:24,855
- Yeah, not my point.
- I know what your point is.
109
00:06:25,060 --> 00:06:29,656
You're intimidated by Amy's intellect.
To that, I say buck up.
110
00:06:29,832 --> 00:06:31,527
LEONARD:
Okay, let me just get right to it.
111
00:06:31,700 --> 00:06:37,468
Amy is judgmental, sanctimonious
and frankly, just obnoxious.
112
00:06:38,474 --> 00:06:40,374
So?
113
00:06:40,576 --> 00:06:42,476
So we already have you for all that.
114
00:06:44,280 --> 00:06:47,272
Are you suggesting
I terminate my relationship with Amy?
115
00:06:47,449 --> 00:06:51,818
No, no, of course not. Just have
your relationship someplace else.
116
00:06:51,987 --> 00:06:54,888
May I point out
that for eight long months...
117
00:06:55,090 --> 00:06:57,888
...I suffered in silence
as your female companion...
118
00:06:58,093 --> 00:07:03,360
...filled our apartment with her off-key
country music caterwauling...
119
00:07:03,532 --> 00:07:06,899
...the unappetizing spectacle
of her grinding a pumice stone...
120
00:07:07,102 --> 00:07:09,798
...against her calloused feet
in our living room...
121
00:07:09,972 --> 00:07:13,169
...and night after night
of uninformative TV documentaries...
122
00:07:13,342 --> 00:07:15,810
...about the Jersey Shore.
123
00:07:17,413 --> 00:07:20,246
Suffered in silence?
124
00:07:21,650 --> 00:07:23,311
Yes.
125
00:07:23,986 --> 00:07:26,386
And I'd thank you to do the same.
126
00:07:28,190 --> 00:07:30,317
Real... Silence?
127
00:07:33,629 --> 00:07:36,598
Ah. Nothing makes beer taste better...
128
00:07:36,765 --> 00:07:40,724
...than cool clear
Rocky Mountain spring water.
129
00:07:41,337 --> 00:07:42,998
Where are the Rocky Mountains?
130
00:07:44,640 --> 00:07:46,437
Philadelphia.
131
00:07:47,443 --> 00:07:49,343
I thought
they were out west someplace.
132
00:07:49,511 --> 00:07:53,777
Think about it, Raj.
Where did the movie Rocky take place?
133
00:07:54,583 --> 00:07:56,278
Philadelphia.
134
00:07:56,452 --> 00:07:58,181
Okay, now I get it.
135
00:07:59,922 --> 00:08:05,053
So this is the plan? We're gonna
hide out here to avoid the Shamy?
136
00:08:05,227 --> 00:08:06,694
I'm very comfortable here.
137
00:08:07,363 --> 00:08:11,231
Penny, dear, why don't you shoot
another Silver Bullet my way.
138
00:08:11,400 --> 00:08:13,231
Get one yourself.
139
00:08:13,402 --> 00:08:16,462
Ooh, somebody's been
taking bitchy pills.
140
00:08:18,107 --> 00:08:20,200
God, he's an ass when he drinks.
141
00:08:20,376 --> 00:08:23,209
Well, he's an ass when he doesn't.
You just don't hear it.
142
00:08:24,413 --> 00:08:26,711
We need to start entertaining
the possibility...
143
00:08:26,882 --> 00:08:28,577
...Shamy could go on for years.
144
00:08:28,751 --> 00:08:31,151
If that's the case,
Penny will get satellite TV...
145
00:08:31,320 --> 00:08:35,120
...and maybe once a week,
run a vacuum through this place.
146
00:08:37,760 --> 00:08:40,058
I thought
you were gonna talk to Sheldon?
147
00:08:40,229 --> 00:08:41,924
- I did.
- Well, what did he say?
148
00:08:42,097 --> 00:08:45,430
Well, he pointed out that he kind of,
sort of, had to put up with you.
149
00:08:45,634 --> 00:08:48,728
- Kind of, sort of, had to?
- Well, I didn't agree with him.
150
00:08:48,904 --> 00:08:51,600
- Well, you defended me, right?
- I tried, but...
151
00:08:55,944 --> 00:08:58,913
He made
a fairly well-reasoned argument.
152
00:08:59,081 --> 00:09:00,105
(PENNY SIGHS)
153
00:09:00,282 --> 00:09:03,115
- You're not doing that right.
- What?
154
00:09:03,652 --> 00:09:04,744
- Give me.
- No.
155
00:09:04,920 --> 00:09:05,944
- No, trust me.
- No.
156
00:09:06,121 --> 00:09:08,112
I do this for my Mom all the time.
157
00:09:10,359 --> 00:09:13,522
See? With the grain.
158
00:09:14,430 --> 00:09:16,227
Wow, that is better.
159
00:09:17,099 --> 00:09:19,158
And someday,
when you have varicose veins...
160
00:09:19,334 --> 00:09:21,768
...I'll show you
how to massage them.
161
00:09:25,140 --> 00:09:27,870
Oh, God, never again.
162
00:09:28,043 --> 00:09:31,479
I assume you mean never again
will you drink all of Penny's beer...
163
00:09:31,647 --> 00:09:34,138
...run to the gas station
for a couple of 40s...
164
00:09:34,316 --> 00:09:38,548
...a box of Slim Jims and the latest issue
of Bombay Badonkadonks.
165
00:09:40,255 --> 00:09:42,155
I was homesick.
166
00:09:42,691 --> 00:09:44,522
The highlight
was when you showed us...
167
00:09:44,693 --> 00:09:46,354
...your Bollywood
break-dancing skills.
168
00:09:46,528 --> 00:09:49,622
(HUMMING)
169
00:09:54,336 --> 00:09:58,500
- That's very offensive.
- Yeah, we all thought so.
170
00:10:00,008 --> 00:10:01,805
LEONARD: Oh, no.
- What?
171
00:10:01,977 --> 00:10:04,070
John and Yoko.
172
00:10:05,013 --> 00:10:06,981
More like Yoko and Yoko.
173
00:10:07,149 --> 00:10:08,377
- Greetings.
LEONARD: Hey.
174
00:10:08,550 --> 00:10:12,145
I brought Amy here
to show her some of the work I'm doing.
175
00:10:12,321 --> 00:10:15,381
It's very impressive.
For theoretical work.
176
00:10:16,325 --> 00:10:18,657
Do I detect a hint of condescension?
177
00:10:18,827 --> 00:10:20,590
I'm sorry, was I being too subtle?
178
00:10:21,697 --> 00:10:24,860
I meant compared to the real-world
applications of neurobiology...
179
00:10:25,033 --> 00:10:28,491
...theoretical physics is... What's the word
I'm looking for? Hmm, cute.
180
00:10:28,670 --> 00:10:30,501
ALL:
Oh.
181
00:10:30,672 --> 00:10:35,234
Are you suggesting the work
of a neurobiologist like Babinski...
182
00:10:35,410 --> 00:10:38,106
...could ever rise to the significance
of a physicist...
183
00:10:38,313 --> 00:10:40,873
...like Clerk Maxwell or Dirac?
184
00:10:41,049 --> 00:10:42,539
I'm stating it outright.
185
00:10:42,718 --> 00:10:47,314
Babinski eats Dirac for breakfast
and defecates Clerk Maxwell.
186
00:10:49,625 --> 00:10:51,320
You take that back.
187
00:10:52,828 --> 00:10:56,264
Absolutely not. My colleagues and I
map the neurological substrates...
188
00:10:56,431 --> 00:10:58,763
...that subserve
global information processing...
189
00:10:58,934 --> 00:11:02,631
...which is required for cognitive
reasoning, including scientific inquiry...
190
00:11:02,838 --> 00:11:05,932
...making my research, ipso facto,
prior in the ordo cognoscendi.
191
00:11:06,708 --> 00:11:10,405
That means it's better than his research,
and by extension, of course, yours.
192
00:11:13,982 --> 00:11:16,041
I'm sorry, I'm still trying to work...
193
00:11:16,218 --> 00:11:19,483
...on the "defecating
Clerk Maxwell." So...
194
00:11:20,956 --> 00:11:26,292
Excuse me, but a grand unified theory,
insofar as it explains everything...
195
00:11:26,461 --> 00:11:29,897
...will, ipso facto,
explain neurobiology.
196
00:11:30,065 --> 00:11:33,501
But if successful, I will map
and reproduce your thought processes...
197
00:11:33,669 --> 00:11:35,637
...in deriving a grand unified theory.
198
00:11:35,804 --> 00:11:38,739
And therefore, subsume your conclusions
under my paradigm.
199
00:11:38,907 --> 00:11:41,774
That's the rankest psychologism...
200
00:11:41,944 --> 00:11:44,105
...and was conclusively revealed
as hogwash...
201
00:11:44,279 --> 00:11:46,873
...by Gottlob Frege
in the 1890s.
202
00:11:48,250 --> 00:11:51,845
- We appear to have reached an impasse.
- I agree.
203
00:11:52,020 --> 00:11:55,183
I move our relationship
terminate immediately.
204
00:11:56,191 --> 00:11:58,421
- Seconded.
- There being no objections?
205
00:11:58,594 --> 00:11:59,754
ALL:
No. Uh-uh.
206
00:12:01,263 --> 00:12:02,457
The motion carries.
207
00:12:02,631 --> 00:12:06,533
- Good day, Amy Farrah Fowler.
- Good day, Sheldon Cooper.
208
00:12:11,139 --> 00:12:12,766
Women, huh?
209
00:12:12,941 --> 00:12:17,708
Can't live with them, can't successfully
refute their hypotheses.
210
00:12:17,913 --> 00:12:19,676
Amen to that.
211
00:12:26,188 --> 00:12:29,351
- Hey, Sheldon.
- Hello.
212
00:12:31,059 --> 00:12:33,823
I hear you broke up with Amy.
213
00:12:33,996 --> 00:12:36,760
A breakup would imply
she was my girlfriend.
214
00:12:36,932 --> 00:12:42,370
She was a girl who was my friend
who is now a girl who is not my friend.
215
00:12:42,537 --> 00:12:45,700
Wow, that's, like,
the worst country song ever.
216
00:12:48,143 --> 00:12:50,202
So how are you doing?
217
00:12:50,379 --> 00:12:52,711
- Regarding what?
- Amy.
218
00:12:53,348 --> 00:12:54,906
I don't follow.
219
00:12:55,083 --> 00:12:56,448
Well, breakups...
220
00:12:56,652 --> 00:13:00,110
...or whatever the hell this is,
can be tough.
221
00:13:00,289 --> 00:13:02,257
Penny, I assure you, I'm fine.
222
00:13:02,424 --> 00:13:05,450
My relationship with Amy
was purely intellectual.
223
00:13:05,661 --> 00:13:07,253
There were no emotional bonds...
224
00:13:07,429 --> 00:13:10,091
...the severing of which
would cause me any discomfort.
225
00:13:10,265 --> 00:13:12,699
The relationship simply outlived
its utility...
226
00:13:12,868 --> 00:13:15,701
...and I'm continuing on
with my life as before.
227
00:13:16,405 --> 00:13:17,702
Okay. Good.
228
00:13:17,873 --> 00:13:21,240
Now, if you'll excuse me,
I'm off to buy a pussycat.
229
00:13:23,879 --> 00:13:26,939
I gotta tell you guys,
I'm a little worried about Sheldon.
230
00:13:27,115 --> 00:13:29,777
We're all a little worried
about Sheldon.
231
00:13:29,952 --> 00:13:32,785
No. I mean, since the Shamy
hit a reef.
232
00:13:32,955 --> 00:13:34,980
Oh, I thought you were
making a generalization.
233
00:13:35,190 --> 00:13:38,785
I'm worried about Sheldon someday
setting off a low-yield nuclear device...
234
00:13:38,961 --> 00:13:41,259
...because the cafeteria
ran out of lime Jell-O.
235
00:13:42,297 --> 00:13:45,266
- What does "hit a reef" mean?
- Uh, went splitsville.
236
00:13:45,801 --> 00:13:48,895
- Pardon?
- Turned to boom-boom.
237
00:13:49,371 --> 00:13:50,736
Ah.
238
00:13:51,306 --> 00:13:53,240
I think Sheldon really misses Amy.
239
00:13:53,442 --> 00:13:57,435
You should lend him your copy
of Bombay Badonkadonks.
240
00:13:58,013 --> 00:14:00,573
- He got a cat to keep him company.
- You're kidding.
241
00:14:00,749 --> 00:14:03,650
He takes it everywhere.
To bed, to the bathroom.
242
00:14:03,819 --> 00:14:05,616
He takes the kitty to the potty?
243
00:14:06,588 --> 00:14:08,283
I thought we discussed the P-word.
244
00:14:08,457 --> 00:14:11,790
Don't try to change me, dude.
I am what I am.
245
00:14:12,527 --> 00:14:13,926
- Oh, gentlemen.
LEONARD: Hey.
246
00:14:14,096 --> 00:14:15,563
HOWARD:
Oh, ho, ho.
247
00:14:15,731 --> 00:14:18,859
Aren't you gonna introduce us
to your little friend?
248
00:14:19,034 --> 00:14:24,939
My apologies. Raj, Howard, I'd like you
to meet Dr. Robert Oppenheimer.
249
00:14:26,308 --> 00:14:28,367
- Hello.
- Hi.
250
00:14:28,543 --> 00:14:31,341
Now, if you'll excuse me,
the father of the atomic bomb...
251
00:14:31,513 --> 00:14:32,980
...wants a saucer of milk.
252
00:14:35,183 --> 00:14:37,310
Okay, I get it.
We're worried about Sheldon.
253
00:14:37,486 --> 00:14:38,612
Yeah.
254
00:14:42,024 --> 00:14:45,323
Hey. Oh, no.
255
00:14:45,994 --> 00:14:48,827
Robert Oppenheimer was lonely.
256
00:14:48,997 --> 00:14:52,330
So you decided to get
the whole Manhattan Project?
257
00:14:52,501 --> 00:14:55,698
Yes. This is Enrico Fermi,
Richard Feynman...
258
00:14:55,871 --> 00:14:57,668
...Edward Teller, Otto Frisch.
259
00:14:58,340 --> 00:15:01,707
- Zazzles.
- Zazzles?
260
00:15:01,877 --> 00:15:04,175
I was going to name him
Hermann von Helmholtz...
261
00:15:04,346 --> 00:15:06,837
...but he's so zazzy.
262
00:15:09,651 --> 00:15:13,485
- Okay, we need to talk.
- About what?
263
00:15:13,655 --> 00:15:15,054
Cats, Sheldon.
264
00:15:15,223 --> 00:15:17,316
You're clearly upset
about Amy being gone...
265
00:15:17,492 --> 00:15:19,858
...and you're trying to replace her
with cats.
266
00:15:20,028 --> 00:15:21,495
- Clowder.
- What?
267
00:15:21,663 --> 00:15:24,894
- Group of cats is a clowder or a glaring.
- Okay, yeah...
268
00:15:25,067 --> 00:15:29,197
It's the kind of thing you ought to know
now that we have one.
269
00:15:29,805 --> 00:15:34,606
Terrific. My point is, you need to face up
to what you're feeling with this breakup.
270
00:15:34,810 --> 00:15:37,608
It wasn't a breakup. A breakup
would imply that Amy was...
271
00:15:37,813 --> 00:15:40,077
Okay, I got it.
She's not your girlfriend.
272
00:15:40,248 --> 00:15:44,207
Now, listen to me.
I know about loneliness.
273
00:15:44,386 --> 00:15:47,082
I know about trying
to replace someone with other stuff.
274
00:15:47,255 --> 00:15:50,247
When I broke up with Penny,
I got back into my cello...
275
00:15:50,425 --> 00:15:52,393
...built a bunch of model rockets.
276
00:15:52,561 --> 00:15:56,463
I got those weightlifting gloves
and that five-pound dumbbell.
277
00:15:57,766 --> 00:16:00,257
You didn't break up, she dumped you.
278
00:16:00,435 --> 00:16:03,598
She didn't dump me. It was mutual.
279
00:16:03,772 --> 00:16:06,605
- I was there. She dumped you.
- Okay, fine.
280
00:16:06,775 --> 00:16:09,767
Live with cats. Be like my Aunt Nancy.
She had dozens of them.
281
00:16:09,945 --> 00:16:13,073
And you know what happened
after she died? They ate her.
282
00:16:13,648 --> 00:16:16,742
You don't have to sell me on cats,
Leonard. I'm already a fan.
283
00:16:21,289 --> 00:16:25,851
All right, fellas,
who's in the mood for Fancy Feast?
284
00:16:26,428 --> 00:16:29,158
Well, that's not fancy at all.
285
00:16:33,502 --> 00:16:35,163
Hi, Mrs. Cooper. Thanks for coming.
286
00:16:35,370 --> 00:16:36,997
- Where is he?
- He's in his bedroom.
287
00:16:37,172 --> 00:16:40,073
Now, when you said on the phone
"he broke up with a girl"...
288
00:16:40,242 --> 00:16:42,107
...you meant an actual girl...
289
00:16:42,277 --> 00:16:44,939
...not something
you kids whipped up in a lab?
290
00:16:45,747 --> 00:16:48,614
- No, she's real.
- Did they sin?
291
00:16:48,783 --> 00:16:52,150
No, no. It's not like that. It's, uh...
292
00:16:52,888 --> 00:16:54,480
I don't know it's like.
293
00:16:54,656 --> 00:16:56,749
There is something
I should prepare you for.
294
00:16:56,925 --> 00:17:00,122
Oh, relax, Leonard,
I have raised that boy.
295
00:17:00,295 --> 00:17:02,627
I've seen him at his best,
seen him at his worst.
296
00:17:02,797 --> 00:17:05,129
There's nothing he can do
that'll surprise me.
297
00:17:05,700 --> 00:17:07,759
Hold on to that thought.
298
00:17:08,436 --> 00:17:09,801
SHELDON:
Come in.
299
00:17:10,205 --> 00:17:11,797
(CATS MEOWING)
300
00:17:14,176 --> 00:17:15,803
Surprise.
301
00:17:16,011 --> 00:17:18,605
Mom, what an unexpected pleasure.
302
00:17:18,780 --> 00:17:22,511
My, my, that's a powerful smell.
303
00:17:22,684 --> 00:17:28,281
I'd like you to meet Oppenheimer,
Frisch, Panofsky, Feynman, Weisskopf...
304
00:17:28,456 --> 00:17:30,390
Yeah, I get it. You got a lot of cats...
305
00:17:30,559 --> 00:17:33,119
...and you gave them
cute Jewish names.
306
00:17:33,328 --> 00:17:36,491
- What are you doing here?
- Leonard called.
307
00:17:36,665 --> 00:17:39,498
He said that you were pining
for a young lady.
308
00:17:39,668 --> 00:17:43,468
Oh, that's preposterous.
I'm not pining over anyone.
309
00:17:43,638 --> 00:17:45,970
Oh, lamb chop,
we can quibble what to call it...
310
00:17:46,141 --> 00:17:49,542
...but I think
we can both agree it's creepy.
311
00:17:50,178 --> 00:17:51,839
I do not agree.
312
00:17:52,013 --> 00:17:54,208
Cats make wonderful companions.
313
00:17:54,382 --> 00:17:58,512
They don't argue
or question my intellectual authority.
314
00:17:58,687 --> 00:18:04,648
And this little guy here,
I think you'll find to be quite zazzy.
315
00:18:06,228 --> 00:18:08,492
- You should have called sooner.
- Yeah.
316
00:18:10,031 --> 00:18:11,999
Shelly. Dinner's ready.
317
00:18:12,167 --> 00:18:13,930
SHELDON: Coming.
- No cats.
318
00:18:14,102 --> 00:18:15,592
SHLEDON:
Aw.
319
00:18:19,874 --> 00:18:22,570
- What is she doing here?
- I called her.
320
00:18:22,744 --> 00:18:25,440
Your mother thinks
you might be losing your mind over me.
321
00:18:25,614 --> 00:18:28,242
As a neurobiologist, I was curious.
322
00:18:28,416 --> 00:18:31,874
Well, rest assured,
I am in full possession of my faculties.
323
00:18:32,420 --> 00:18:34,513
Twenty-five cats!
324
00:18:35,190 --> 00:18:36,350
Oh.
325
00:18:36,524 --> 00:18:37,923
God bless you, dear.
326
00:18:38,093 --> 00:18:41,062
Sheldon, sit down. Let's talk.
327
00:18:41,229 --> 00:18:44,130
You're not fooling me.
Whenever you say we have to talk...
328
00:18:44,299 --> 00:18:45,960
...it means you want me to listen.
329
00:18:46,134 --> 00:18:47,965
- Then stop talking.
- Yes, ma'am.
330
00:18:48,136 --> 00:18:50,934
Now, the reason I called Amy over...
331
00:18:51,106 --> 00:18:53,438
...was to find out
what type of person she is.
332
00:18:53,608 --> 00:18:55,200
And after chatting a bit...
333
00:18:55,377 --> 00:19:01,043
...I have to say that while she is
a perfectly unique young woman...
334
00:19:01,216 --> 00:19:04,515
...you two are definitely
not suited for each other.
335
00:19:05,120 --> 00:19:06,883
That's a peculiar conclusion.
336
00:19:07,055 --> 00:19:09,421
By any standard,
Amy is more similar to me...
337
00:19:09,591 --> 00:19:11,081
...than anyone I've ever met.
338
00:19:11,259 --> 00:19:13,887
Oh, I'm sorry, Shelly, I can't see it.
339
00:19:14,062 --> 00:19:16,428
Well, whether you see it or not
is irrelevant.
340
00:19:16,598 --> 00:19:20,557
I can't see subatomic particles,
but nevertheless, they're there.
341
00:19:20,735 --> 00:19:23,397
- Excellent point.
- A physics point.
342
00:19:24,105 --> 00:19:25,834
Touch�.
343
00:19:26,541 --> 00:19:28,270
Well, putting aside the pig Latin...
344
00:19:29,411 --> 00:19:32,175
...it's a good that you decided
to end the relationship...
345
00:19:32,347 --> 00:19:34,338
...so I didn't have to end it for you.
346
00:19:37,085 --> 00:19:40,816
Amy, after consideration,
I believe we may have acted rashly.
347
00:19:40,989 --> 00:19:45,153
I propose we resume our relationship
and attempt to resolve our differences.
348
00:19:45,327 --> 00:19:46,487
Only if you stipulate...
349
00:19:46,661 --> 00:19:49,289
...80 percent of our difficulties
were caused by you.
350
00:19:49,464 --> 00:19:50,988
- I'll go as high as 40.
- 65.
351
00:19:51,166 --> 00:19:52,599
Done.
352
00:19:53,768 --> 00:19:57,966
You understand we deal with the fact
that my mother does not approve?
353
00:19:58,506 --> 00:19:59,871
I do.
354
00:20:00,075 --> 00:20:03,476
I find being cast in the role of bad girl
oddly titillating.
355
00:20:06,014 --> 00:20:08,141
- Would you like to see my cats?
- I would.
356
00:20:08,316 --> 00:20:10,648
I love cats.
They're the epitome of indifference.
357
00:20:10,819 --> 00:20:14,152
Ah. Then you may find Zazzles
a little cloying.
358
00:20:15,623 --> 00:20:17,284
I saw what you did there.
359
00:20:17,459 --> 00:20:20,656
He thinks he's such a smarty pants,
he's no different from any man.
360
00:20:20,829 --> 00:20:23,525
Tell them not to do something,
that's all they wanna do.
361
00:20:23,698 --> 00:20:27,099
If I hadn't told my brother Stumpy
not to clear the wood chipper by hand...
362
00:20:27,268 --> 00:20:28,860
...we'd still be calling him Edward.
363
00:20:30,872 --> 00:20:33,397
Now, don't you move,
I'll bring over all the food.
364
00:20:33,608 --> 00:20:35,337
No, no, no, I can do it.
365
00:20:37,412 --> 00:20:39,710
Well, isn't that sweet?
366
00:20:44,552 --> 00:20:46,042
(CAT MEOWING)
367
00:20:46,221 --> 00:20:48,314
Thank you, Amy.
368
00:20:48,490 --> 00:20:49,514
Here's your cat.
369
00:20:50,992 --> 00:20:53,392
And here's your $20.
370
00:20:53,895 --> 00:20:55,089
AMY:
Next.
371
00:20:55,263 --> 00:20:58,061
Thank you, Amy.
Here's your cat.
372
00:20:59,334 --> 00:21:00,892
And here's your $20.
373
00:21:02,837 --> 00:21:04,702
AMY:
Next.
30895
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