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1
00:00:17,684 --> 00:00:21,176
Long, long ago
in merry old England...
2
00:00:21,354 --> 00:00:25,791
...there lived a warm and friendly,
happy-go-lucky people...
3
00:00:25,959 --> 00:00:28,928
...who lived life to its fullest.
4
00:00:29,262 --> 00:00:32,595
Unfortunately,
this movie isn't about them.
5
00:00:32,766 --> 00:00:36,964
This movie is about
another group of people.
6
00:00:37,137 --> 00:00:41,073
A people so stern,
so self-righteous...
7
00:00:41,241 --> 00:00:44,142
...so sanctimoniously dour...
8
00:00:44,310 --> 00:00:46,301
...that they even
called themselves...
9
00:00:47,380 --> 00:00:49,211
"Puritans.
10
00:00:49,716 --> 00:00:53,152
This is the day of their departure
from England.
11
00:00:53,319 --> 00:00:57,380
A sad, sad day for one and all.
12
00:00:57,557 --> 00:01:00,492
Anyway, the Puritans
were setting out for the New World...
13
00:01:00,894 --> 00:01:02,987
...where they could make the rules.
14
00:01:03,329 --> 00:01:05,923
They wanted to build
towns with curfews...
15
00:01:06,099 --> 00:01:10,934
...schools with dress codes,
restrooms with pay toilets...
16
00:01:11,104 --> 00:01:14,631
...and they decided
to do it in an obscure...
17
00:01:14,808 --> 00:01:17,709
...far-off, backwoods
colony of England.
18
00:01:17,877 --> 00:01:19,242
A place called...
19
00:01:19,846 --> 00:01:22,041
"America.
20
00:04:35,041 --> 00:04:36,770
Sara.
21
00:04:37,910 --> 00:04:39,775
Miles.
22
00:04:58,264 --> 00:05:01,495
- Sara.
- Miles.
23
00:05:10,109 --> 00:05:12,771
- Sara.
- Miles.
24
00:05:18,885 --> 00:05:22,821
Miles, I've waited
four long years for this moment.
25
00:05:22,989 --> 00:05:26,481
Oh, Sara. Sara, you're even
more beautiful than I remember.
26
00:05:26,759 --> 00:05:29,159
Oh, we mustn't.
Someone might see us.
27
00:05:29,329 --> 00:05:30,728
So what if they do.
28
00:05:30,897 --> 00:05:32,728
They passed a city ordinance...
29
00:05:32,899 --> 00:05:35,231
...that strictly forbids
public display of affection.
30
00:05:35,401 --> 00:05:37,562
A law against kissing?
You're kidding.
31
00:05:37,737 --> 00:05:39,261
No, Miles, I'm not.
32
00:05:39,605 --> 00:05:42,199
No kissing, no touching...
33
00:05:42,375 --> 00:05:45,572
...no looking directly into the eyes
of a member of the opposite sex.
34
00:05:45,778 --> 00:05:47,609
No bathing.
35
00:05:47,847 --> 00:05:51,044
- You can't take a bath?
- Not if you're naked.
36
00:05:51,217 --> 00:05:52,741
Well, that's ridiculous.
37
00:05:52,919 --> 00:05:55,410
There's nothing wrong
with the human body.
38
00:05:55,588 --> 00:05:59,422
- Especially the one God gave you.
- Miles.
39
00:05:59,592 --> 00:06:02,117
Is that the sort of talk
you learned in divinity school?
40
00:06:02,362 --> 00:06:04,421
Well, no, not exactly at the school.
41
00:06:04,597 --> 00:06:07,589
But in the locker room,
all the guys talk like that.
42
00:06:07,767 --> 00:06:09,029
You'd love them, Sara.
43
00:06:09,235 --> 00:06:12,864
Real men of the world
from Jamestown and Williamsburg.
44
00:06:13,039 --> 00:06:15,837
All the big cities.
Sara, there's a whole new world...
45
00:06:16,008 --> 00:06:19,569
...just filled with new ideas
and new ways of looking at things.
46
00:06:19,746 --> 00:06:22,647
Do you realize
it's almost the year 1700?
47
00:06:22,815 --> 00:06:25,841
It's time for Salem to catch up
with the rest of the world.
48
00:06:26,018 --> 00:06:27,952
And I'm here
to make sure it happens.
49
00:06:28,354 --> 00:06:29,582
What do you mean?
50
00:06:30,123 --> 00:06:32,614
You are looking
at the new assistant minister...
51
00:06:32,792 --> 00:06:35,158
...at the Church of Salem.
I wanted to surprise you.
52
00:06:35,328 --> 00:06:37,888
Oh, Miles, that's wonderful.
53
00:06:38,064 --> 00:06:40,191
Oh, let's run tell Aunt Deliverance.
54
00:06:40,366 --> 00:06:43,460
Oh, how about
we celebrate a little first?
55
00:07:21,240 --> 00:07:23,140
- How can he do this?
- No.
56
00:07:23,309 --> 00:07:25,243
No, stop it.
57
00:07:25,411 --> 00:07:27,140
Stop.
58
00:07:28,448 --> 00:07:30,848
No. No.
59
00:07:31,217 --> 00:07:34,812
You gotta have
more snap in your wrist.
60
00:07:39,292 --> 00:07:42,784
- How's that?
- It's much better.
61
00:07:47,433 --> 00:07:49,867
A fiver? When did it go up to five?
62
00:07:50,036 --> 00:07:52,527
Well, we did
a little more today, didn't we?
63
00:07:52,705 --> 00:07:56,300
Yeah, it hurt like hell,
but it was worth it.
64
00:07:56,476 --> 00:07:58,944
Well, I don't have the money on me.
65
00:07:59,111 --> 00:08:03,104
I'm good for it, though.
After all, I'm the mayor.
66
00:08:03,282 --> 00:08:04,977
What say we put it on my bill?
67
00:08:05,151 --> 00:08:09,679
Let's say you pay up.
Or I collect from your wife.
68
00:08:09,856 --> 00:08:11,653
My wife.
69
00:08:12,024 --> 00:08:15,187
My wife! Yes, I have the money.
70
00:08:15,361 --> 00:08:18,489
It's in the safety deposit box.
You wait here. I'll get it.
71
00:08:19,532 --> 00:08:21,124
What the--?
72
00:08:25,905 --> 00:08:29,432
One, two, three and four and five.
73
00:08:45,458 --> 00:08:49,918
- Allow me to help you, Your Honor.
- I don't need any help. Thank you.
74
00:08:50,096 --> 00:08:53,759
- But, Your Honor, the recent weather--
- My good fellow...
75
00:08:53,933 --> 00:08:56,834
...I can assure you
that despite my scholarly...
76
00:08:57,003 --> 00:09:01,235
...and aristocratic countenance,
I am indeed quite capable...
77
00:09:01,407 --> 00:09:06,367
...as you can see, of extricating myself
from a simple equestrian sedan.
78
00:09:06,546 --> 00:09:08,571
Now piss off.
79
00:09:09,282 --> 00:09:11,477
You fool...
80
00:09:11,651 --> 00:09:13,482
Oh, great God!
81
00:09:13,653 --> 00:09:16,622
Help me out!
There's something biting me in here.
82
00:09:16,789 --> 00:09:18,620
Get a grip on yourself.
83
00:09:20,059 --> 00:09:21,959
Oh, no. It's the judge.
84
00:09:23,162 --> 00:09:28,600
Yes, and we can certainly discuss
that rezoning variance at the office.
85
00:09:28,768 --> 00:09:30,258
Help me.
86
00:09:30,903 --> 00:09:32,700
You're back.
87
00:09:33,039 --> 00:09:35,200
Isn't that woman an adulteress?
88
00:09:35,374 --> 00:09:37,899
Yeah, and a damn good one too.
89
00:09:38,077 --> 00:09:42,741
Get inside, you spineless sensualist.
We're in deep trouble.
90
00:09:47,687 --> 00:09:49,917
I've just come from
our bank in Boston.
91
00:09:50,089 --> 00:09:53,616
We are on the verge
of losing everything.
92
00:09:54,460 --> 00:09:56,985
Why are you always so negative?
93
00:09:59,231 --> 00:10:02,428
Now, you listen to me,
you certifiable twit.
94
00:10:02,602 --> 00:10:05,435
Thousands of settlers
are pouring into these colonies.
95
00:10:05,605 --> 00:10:08,938
Salem is becoming
a real-estate gold mine.
96
00:10:09,108 --> 00:10:13,044
We could've already
owned everything if it wasn't for you.
97
00:10:13,212 --> 00:10:14,839
Me? What did I do?
98
00:10:16,415 --> 00:10:20,010
When the bank
gave us all their money...
99
00:10:20,186 --> 00:10:24,953
...it was to buy land, not finance
one of your stupid schemes.
100
00:10:25,424 --> 00:10:27,517
It was a good idea.
101
00:10:27,893 --> 00:10:30,191
Edible chastity belts?
102
00:10:30,363 --> 00:10:32,991
Well, you certainly ate
your half of the profits.
103
00:10:33,165 --> 00:10:35,895
You gimlet-eyed ferret.
104
00:10:36,602 --> 00:10:41,767
How could I have ever let you
put all this in jeopardy?
105
00:10:41,941 --> 00:10:43,932
Puritan Village.
106
00:10:44,110 --> 00:10:47,102
- Our American dream.
- Luxurious condos.
107
00:10:47,279 --> 00:10:50,544
- Filled with lusty housewives.
- Executive-class office space.
108
00:10:50,716 --> 00:10:53,150
Bustling with large-breasted
secretaries.
109
00:10:53,319 --> 00:10:54,684
And our biggest moneymaker:
110
00:10:54,854 --> 00:10:59,917
- Ye Olde Heritage Mall.
- A hangout for oversexed teenagers.
111
00:11:00,092 --> 00:11:03,550
Shut up, would you?
Shut up, you hedonistic degenerate.
112
00:11:03,729 --> 00:11:06,664
Now, you get your mind out
of the gutter and help me figure out...
113
00:11:06,832 --> 00:11:09,926
...a way to get the people
in this town to give up their land.
114
00:11:10,870 --> 00:11:12,633
Oh, Daddy, Daddy.
115
00:11:12,805 --> 00:11:16,206
I just had a fight with
that horrible girl across the street.
116
00:11:16,375 --> 00:11:18,900
She pulled my hair
right out of my head.
117
00:11:19,078 --> 00:11:21,911
- What girl?
- The witch girl across the street.
118
00:11:22,081 --> 00:11:24,845
Witch girl? ls the girl really a witch?
119
00:11:25,017 --> 00:11:28,384
No, no, no. She means "rich" girl.
She has trouble with her R's.
120
00:11:28,721 --> 00:11:30,780
Witch, witch, dirty witch.
121
00:11:30,956 --> 00:11:34,619
Oh, Belinda,
be careful what you say, child.
122
00:11:34,794 --> 00:11:38,230
After all, if the girl
really were a witch...
123
00:11:38,397 --> 00:11:40,957
...well, we'd have
to burn her at the stake...
124
00:11:41,133 --> 00:11:45,934
...and confiscate her family's land.
No, we wouldn't want--
125
00:11:50,009 --> 00:11:54,503
Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
126
00:11:54,680 --> 00:11:58,844
- That's it. I've got it.
- What?
127
00:11:59,018 --> 00:12:01,179
If we were to harness
the power of steam...
128
00:12:01,353 --> 00:12:04,015
...into some kind of piston engine...
129
00:12:04,190 --> 00:12:07,819
...why, we could then power
huge vessels across the ocean...
130
00:12:07,993 --> 00:12:10,518
...without the use of sails.
131
00:12:10,696 --> 00:12:12,357
What?
132
00:12:14,800 --> 00:12:17,064
Sorry, I was thinking
of something else.
133
00:12:17,236 --> 00:12:19,170
What I meant to say was this:
134
00:12:19,338 --> 00:12:22,774
If we were to accuse the people in--
135
00:12:23,109 --> 00:12:26,636
Belinda, sweetheart,
why don't you run along?
136
00:12:26,812 --> 00:12:28,609
No, I don't wanna.
137
00:12:28,781 --> 00:12:31,875
- Belinda.
- She's my daughter. I'll deal with this.
138
00:12:32,051 --> 00:12:34,281
Belinda, hold this.
139
00:12:36,122 --> 00:12:37,783
Get out of here. Get out.
140
00:12:37,957 --> 00:12:39,584
Now go.
141
00:12:41,660 --> 00:12:44,288
Your wretched
little toad of a daughter--
142
00:12:44,463 --> 00:12:46,021
- No offense.
- None taken.
143
00:12:46,198 --> 00:12:49,725
--Has given me an inspiration.
144
00:12:53,005 --> 00:12:54,734
My friend...
145
00:12:55,341 --> 00:12:59,641
...we are going
to stir up a witch frenzy.
146
00:12:59,812 --> 00:13:03,441
Accuse innocent people
of consorting with the devil.
147
00:13:03,616 --> 00:13:06,449
Give them a quick mock trial...
148
00:13:06,619 --> 00:13:11,056
...mercilessly burn them
at the stake.
149
00:13:11,223 --> 00:13:12,588
And then...
150
00:13:12,758 --> 00:13:18,128
Then confiscate all their land.
151
00:13:19,932 --> 00:13:21,763
Is that legal?
152
00:13:23,068 --> 00:13:24,831
Yes.
153
00:13:37,483 --> 00:13:43,115
A pussy's a man's best friend
154
00:13:43,522 --> 00:13:49,984
You can never count on a man
155
00:13:50,162 --> 00:13:56,260
A pussy's a man's best friend, love
156
00:13:56,435 --> 00:14:01,873
What a comfort to have one in hand
157
00:14:02,541 --> 00:14:07,001
How sweetly my pussy
158
00:14:07,546 --> 00:14:10,743
My sweet little pussy
159
00:14:12,418 --> 00:14:19,017
Just give me my pussy to pat
160
00:14:21,660 --> 00:14:23,525
Oh, thank you.
161
00:14:23,696 --> 00:14:26,927
It was just something that came
to me in bed this morning.
162
00:14:27,099 --> 00:14:29,624
Aunt Deliverance, look who's here.
163
00:14:29,802 --> 00:14:34,068
- It's Miles, back from divinity school.
- Oh, how do you do?
164
00:14:34,240 --> 00:14:35,707
Are you new to Salem?
165
00:14:37,109 --> 00:14:40,374
Aunt Deliverance, you've known Miles
since he was a child.
166
00:14:40,846 --> 00:14:42,370
Oh, of course.
167
00:14:43,015 --> 00:14:45,882
Go along with her.
Act like we know each other.
168
00:14:46,952 --> 00:14:48,385
But we do.
169
00:14:51,357 --> 00:14:53,825
Why don't I fix us a nice pot of tea.
170
00:14:54,260 --> 00:14:57,593
In the meantime, you and Miles
can catch up on old times.
171
00:14:57,763 --> 00:15:00,493
What old times?
172
00:15:00,966 --> 00:15:04,458
So, Aunt Deliverance,
how have you been?
173
00:15:04,637 --> 00:15:05,899
Oh, I'm glad you asked.
174
00:15:06,405 --> 00:15:08,999
I had the most wonderful enema
this morning.
175
00:15:09,174 --> 00:15:11,665
At first, I thought
nothing was happening...
176
00:15:11,844 --> 00:15:14,574
...and then a low rumble started.
177
00:15:14,947 --> 00:15:17,677
Anyway, I felt this whooshing...
178
00:15:17,850 --> 00:15:20,375
-...and then--
- Excuse me, Aunt Deliverance.
179
00:15:20,552 --> 00:15:22,850
I'll see if Sara
might need my help in the kitchen.
180
00:15:27,860 --> 00:15:30,055
Sara, what are you doing?
181
00:15:30,229 --> 00:15:32,789
We were out of kindling.
I didn't want to bother you.
182
00:15:32,965 --> 00:15:36,025
Oh, Sara, step aside.
183
00:15:36,201 --> 00:15:39,967
- You could get hurt.
- Oh, Miles.
184
00:16:26,852 --> 00:16:29,252
I beg your pardon.
185
00:16:29,588 --> 00:16:31,055
Yes.
186
00:16:32,825 --> 00:16:34,725
I wonder if you could help me.
187
00:16:34,893 --> 00:16:37,862
My horse seems
to have thrown a shoe.
188
00:16:40,065 --> 00:16:41,930
To tell you the truth,
I don't know much...
189
00:16:42,101 --> 00:16:44,968
-...about shoeing a horse.
- Oh, neither do I.
190
00:16:45,137 --> 00:16:48,834
I just love the feel of riding
a large brute of an animal...
191
00:16:49,008 --> 00:16:51,943
...its power surging
between my legs...
192
00:16:52,111 --> 00:16:57,743
...its rippling flesh
straining to my every command.
193
00:17:00,019 --> 00:17:01,418
Yeah.
194
00:17:01,653 --> 00:17:04,247
By the way, I'm Miles Campbell.
195
00:17:04,423 --> 00:17:06,687
And I, sir, am Faith Stewart.
196
00:17:09,762 --> 00:17:12,094
- How clumsy.
- Allow me.
197
00:17:17,469 --> 00:17:19,528
It seems to have
gotten stuck under your...
198
00:17:21,073 --> 00:17:23,871
Here, let me help.
199
00:17:35,154 --> 00:17:36,917
Yeah, I have to get back to--
200
00:17:37,089 --> 00:17:41,082
I've got to get back to my wood.
I've still got a lot of chopping to do.
201
00:17:44,163 --> 00:17:47,098
Looks like you've made
quite a bit of progress to me.
202
00:18:09,555 --> 00:18:12,183
Sara. Sara, are you all right?
203
00:18:12,357 --> 00:18:14,450
Oh, I think so.
204
00:18:14,927 --> 00:18:18,419
One minute I was awake,
and the next minute I--
205
00:18:18,597 --> 00:18:21,930
Miles. Did you do all that?
206
00:18:22,301 --> 00:18:23,825
No.
207
00:18:26,772 --> 00:18:29,104
And I don't know who did.
208
00:18:42,554 --> 00:18:45,045
Was that really necessary, Mummy?
209
00:18:45,224 --> 00:18:47,692
Child's play is the devil's workshop.
210
00:18:51,363 --> 00:18:54,662
The game begins.
Just the man we need.
211
00:18:54,833 --> 00:18:56,858
Parson Babcock.
212
00:18:57,035 --> 00:18:59,230
His mother is with him.
I'm getting out of here.
213
00:18:59,404 --> 00:19:00,894
- Parson?
- Gentlemen.
214
00:19:01,073 --> 00:19:04,372
Good afternoon, Mother Babcock.
And how are we today?
215
00:19:04,543 --> 00:19:06,636
- Half-dead.
- That's nice.
216
00:19:06,812 --> 00:19:09,645
Parson, I was praying
that you could give us...
217
00:19:09,815 --> 00:19:11,339
...a few moments of your time.
218
00:19:11,783 --> 00:19:14,479
We have a matter
of weighty importance...
219
00:19:14,653 --> 00:19:18,089
...to discuss with you.
It concerns your congregation.
220
00:19:18,257 --> 00:19:22,489
Oh, yes. Well, I know attendance
has been down of late.
221
00:19:22,661 --> 00:19:24,492
Only three people last Sunday.
222
00:19:24,663 --> 00:19:26,426
But I do plan to change all that.
223
00:19:26,632 --> 00:19:30,068
As a matter of fact,
I've invented a new game.
224
00:19:30,235 --> 00:19:32,669
Bingo. Now, you have
these little cards...
225
00:19:32,838 --> 00:19:34,772
-...with numbers on them.
- Cut the crap.
226
00:19:34,940 --> 00:19:38,103
If you've figured out a way to get
more stiffs into that church...
227
00:19:38,277 --> 00:19:40,336
...we wanna hear about it.
228
00:19:40,512 --> 00:19:43,345
Yes. Yes, we certainly have.
229
00:19:43,515 --> 00:19:45,745
Now, would you like
to discuss it over tea?
230
00:19:46,151 --> 00:19:47,914
Fine. Let's all go to our house.
231
00:19:48,086 --> 00:19:50,054
- Well, but--
- Push.
232
00:19:52,925 --> 00:19:55,758
- Are we almost there?
- Yep. Just a few more feet.
233
00:19:55,928 --> 00:19:57,452
Careful.
234
00:20:04,903 --> 00:20:08,532
- Go on, read it.
-"Madame Dong's House of Rubbers"?
235
00:20:08,707 --> 00:20:12,939
No, silly, that's upstairs.
Read the sign below it.
236
00:20:14,813 --> 00:20:17,441
Oh, Sara, Sara, you did it.
237
00:20:17,616 --> 00:20:20,449
Your very own shop.
Oh, just think.
238
00:20:20,619 --> 00:20:23,087
Someday people all over the land
may know Sara Lee...
239
00:20:23,255 --> 00:20:26,691
...as the one who makes
those delicious cakes and pies.
240
00:20:27,025 --> 00:20:30,085
Do you think
I should've used my full name?
241
00:20:30,262 --> 00:20:34,562
What, Sara Lee?
No, just Sara's fine.
242
00:20:34,733 --> 00:20:37,327
Oh, you know, Sara,
this is what America's all about.
243
00:20:37,502 --> 00:20:40,062
Having a dream, watching it grow.
244
00:20:40,239 --> 00:20:45,176
Oh, Sara, we're so lucky
to be young and in love and in Salem.
245
00:20:46,278 --> 00:20:49,179
Witchcraft is a most serious charge.
246
00:20:50,482 --> 00:20:52,643
But sadly...
247
00:20:52,818 --> 00:20:55,753
...there is much more proof, Parson.
248
00:20:55,921 --> 00:20:58,651
Isn't that right, Mr. Mayor?
249
00:20:58,824 --> 00:21:00,155
What?
250
00:21:00,325 --> 00:21:04,955
Why don't you tell the parson
the eerie tale concerning your brother.
251
00:21:10,969 --> 00:21:12,402
The brother...
252
00:21:12,571 --> 00:21:18,703
...that had the strange
and supernatural experience.
253
00:21:22,681 --> 00:21:24,740
I don't have a brother.
254
00:21:32,591 --> 00:21:36,789
My brother had
a strange, supernatural experience.
255
00:21:40,198 --> 00:21:42,496
Ever since we were little kids...
256
00:21:42,668 --> 00:21:44,295
...my brother...
257
00:21:44,936 --> 00:21:48,997
...well, he always hated lima beans.
258
00:21:50,042 --> 00:21:52,010
And this one night...
259
00:21:52,177 --> 00:21:54,304
...it was a very scary night.
260
00:21:54,479 --> 00:21:57,039
There was thunder
and lightning and a full moon.
261
00:21:58,583 --> 00:22:00,278
My brother...
262
00:22:02,154 --> 00:22:04,019
...he ate...
263
00:22:04,323 --> 00:22:06,188
...three helpings of lima beans.
264
00:22:09,728 --> 00:22:12,754
I was so scared, I blacked out.
265
00:22:15,734 --> 00:22:19,261
Yes, well, that is a frightening story.
266
00:22:21,006 --> 00:22:23,167
But I still think
you'll have a difficult time...
267
00:22:23,342 --> 00:22:25,401
...convincing the good people
of this town...
268
00:22:25,577 --> 00:22:27,568
...that such evil
dwells among them.
269
00:22:27,813 --> 00:22:29,440
Really, Parson?
270
00:22:30,615 --> 00:22:32,583
Ohm'!-
271
00:22:32,751 --> 00:22:36,346
I didn't want to have
to submit you to this horror.
272
00:22:36,521 --> 00:22:39,547
But I'm afraid
you give me no choice.
273
00:22:39,958 --> 00:22:44,895
This is Mrs. Elizabeth Goodbody.
274
00:22:45,063 --> 00:22:46,530
An innocent young woman...
275
00:22:46,698 --> 00:22:50,828
...who was demonically transformed
into a piece of granite.
276
00:22:51,002 --> 00:22:53,562
- Dear God.
- I ask you, Parson.
277
00:22:53,805 --> 00:22:57,468
Is this to be the fate
of the people of our community?
278
00:22:57,709 --> 00:22:59,700
Do you want to go down in history...
279
00:22:59,878 --> 00:23:03,211
...as the man who let Salem
turn into a quarry?
280
00:23:04,015 --> 00:23:05,607
Well...
281
00:23:06,852 --> 00:23:08,285
No.
282
00:23:09,621 --> 00:23:14,024
Time is running out, Parson.
283
00:23:14,359 --> 00:23:16,919
What are we going to do?
284
00:23:21,833 --> 00:23:23,357
So.
285
00:23:24,269 --> 00:23:27,602
You've finally come to your senses.
286
00:23:27,973 --> 00:23:32,000
Come to realize
what I've always known.
287
00:23:32,177 --> 00:23:34,077
That the sons
and daughters of Lucifer...
288
00:23:34,246 --> 00:23:38,808
...have been allowed to run free
in this town for much too long.
289
00:23:39,184 --> 00:23:43,621
Now is the time for decent,
God-fearing people of this town...
290
00:23:43,789 --> 00:23:48,123
...to unite and spill
the blood of the wicked.
291
00:23:48,293 --> 00:23:53,356
I say we cut out their slimy guts
and burn them to a crisp!
292
00:23:58,503 --> 00:24:00,027
Faith.
293
00:24:00,806 --> 00:24:02,467
Faith.
294
00:24:04,376 --> 00:24:05,707
Faith!
295
00:24:05,877 --> 00:24:09,506
Your cousin is speaking to you.
296
00:24:11,450 --> 00:24:16,046
Oh, I'm sorry, Abigail.
What did you say, darling?
297
00:24:16,221 --> 00:24:20,089
I said, I guess you must find
our little town pretty dull...
298
00:24:20,258 --> 00:24:23,557
-...after your life in London.
- Oh, not really.
299
00:24:23,728 --> 00:24:29,894
Why, just today I saw something
that got me so excited.
300
00:24:32,404 --> 00:24:34,429
Really?
301
00:24:35,440 --> 00:24:37,408
You know, the way
you've been shaking...
302
00:24:37,576 --> 00:24:39,510
...that fancy tail of yours
all over town...
303
00:24:39,678 --> 00:24:42,044
...it's a wonder you haven't
ended up in the stocks.
304
00:24:42,214 --> 00:24:45,012
Nathaniel, Faith is our guest.
305
00:24:46,451 --> 00:24:48,544
That reminds me, missy...
306
00:24:48,820 --> 00:24:52,517
...just how much longer can we
expect the pleasure of your company?
307
00:24:52,858 --> 00:24:56,225
Nathaniel, may I remind you,
Faith is in mourning.
308
00:24:57,095 --> 00:25:00,656
I should hope so.
Seven husbands in two years?
309
00:25:00,832 --> 00:25:04,029
She's jammed more pork
than a Salem sausage-stuffer.
310
00:25:07,873 --> 00:25:10,068
Well, I do hope your new room
pleases you, Miles.
311
00:25:10,242 --> 00:25:14,110
- Oh, yes, yes, Parson. It's just perfect.
- Mummy serves breakfast at 5 a.m.
312
00:25:14,279 --> 00:25:16,213
One egg, hard-boiled,
and a glass of water.
313
00:25:16,381 --> 00:25:18,315
You miss it, you don't eat
until suppertime.
314
00:25:18,483 --> 00:25:20,383
- What about lunch?
- What's lunch?
315
00:25:20,552 --> 00:25:22,952
It's the meal you eat
in the middle of the day.
316
00:25:23,121 --> 00:25:25,385
That's funny,
Mummy's never mentioned it.
317
00:25:36,334 --> 00:25:38,165
Thank you, Sara.
318
00:25:38,336 --> 00:25:41,430
Well, well, well, what a happy day
this has turned out to be.
319
00:25:41,606 --> 00:25:44,200
Miles has returned
triumphant from university...
320
00:25:44,376 --> 00:25:46,469
...and our two lovebirds
are together again.
321
00:25:46,645 --> 00:25:50,206
- I think a toast is in order.
- Please, allow me.
322
00:25:50,382 --> 00:25:52,043
To Sara...
323
00:25:52,217 --> 00:25:55,482
...only the sweetest flower
in all of Salem.
324
00:25:59,791 --> 00:26:02,885
- What happened?
- I couldn't help myself.
325
00:26:03,061 --> 00:26:04,926
It was like something
had me by the wrist.
326
00:26:05,096 --> 00:26:07,564
- Exactly.
- Why, just this very day...
327
00:26:07,732 --> 00:26:10,929
...the mayor and Judge John
were talking about--
328
00:26:12,337 --> 00:26:15,932
Look, by the window. A face.
329
00:26:16,107 --> 00:26:17,540
They're gone.
330
00:26:17,709 --> 00:26:20,439
Well, at least you got
a good look at them, Parson.
331
00:26:22,948 --> 00:26:24,813
Dear God.
332
00:26:24,983 --> 00:26:27,850
I've been struck blind.
333
00:26:31,356 --> 00:26:34,450
Extra, extra.
Get your papers here, sir.
334
00:26:34,626 --> 00:26:37,789
Parson Babcock, bewitched,
bothered and bewildered.
335
00:26:37,963 --> 00:26:43,094
Extra, extra. Parson Babcock,
bewitched, bothered and bewildered.
336
00:26:52,510 --> 00:26:55,138
Salem
337
00:26:56,848 --> 00:26:59,908
Salem
338
00:27:01,052 --> 00:27:05,580
I'm so down on my luck
339
00:27:06,858 --> 00:27:11,761
Well, I been blinded by a witch
340
00:27:11,930 --> 00:27:13,727
And my mama
341
00:27:13,898 --> 00:27:16,799
She's a mean o!' nasty
342
00:27:18,036 --> 00:27:19,469
Hey?
yes?
343
00:27:19,638 --> 00:27:21,731
- Come on, you idiot.
- Just one moment, please.
344
00:27:22,340 --> 00:27:25,070
- Get the lead out, lard ass.
- I'm coming.
345
00:27:25,243 --> 00:27:28,235
The church is packed.
We're gonna make a killing.
346
00:27:33,852 --> 00:27:36,480
This is working out
better than I dreamed.
347
00:27:36,655 --> 00:27:39,522
The parson going blind?
It's a godsend.
348
00:27:40,225 --> 00:27:44,423
- He actually believes it was a witch.
- Yes, but what if it was?
349
00:27:44,596 --> 00:27:46,757
Please, don't be a complete idiot.
350
00:27:46,931 --> 00:27:49,024
We made this
whole thing up, remember?
351
00:27:49,200 --> 00:27:52,829
- I'm not stupid, you know.
- There are no such things as witches.
352
00:27:53,004 --> 00:27:55,700
Look at those fools, praying
for us to take away their homes.
353
00:27:55,874 --> 00:27:57,739
Hello.
354
00:28:00,111 --> 00:28:01,510
Hello.
355
00:28:01,680 --> 00:28:04,376
I do beg your pardon
for my sudden brashness...
356
00:28:04,549 --> 00:28:08,007
...but I didn't hear your gentle
footsteps coming upon us.
357
00:28:08,186 --> 00:28:10,154
Yeah, you nearly scared
the shit out of me.
358
00:28:10,321 --> 00:28:14,257
Please forgive
my ill-mannered friend.
359
00:28:14,426 --> 00:28:16,553
He was reared by savages.
360
00:28:16,728 --> 00:28:18,889
How exciting.
361
00:28:19,264 --> 00:28:21,357
Listen, if you're not
doing anything later...
362
00:28:21,533 --> 00:28:23,262
...would you like
to drop by my place?
363
00:28:23,435 --> 00:28:25,960
We could have some lovely,
delicious, edible...
364
00:28:26,137 --> 00:28:27,365
Chocolates.
365
00:28:27,539 --> 00:28:31,475
Would you care to accompany
your family to church today?
366
00:28:31,643 --> 00:28:34,077
We've just been talking
about chocolates...
367
00:28:34,245 --> 00:28:35,837
What a lovely couple.
368
00:28:36,014 --> 00:28:39,347
Exceeded only
by the loveliness of all of you.
369
00:28:39,517 --> 00:28:41,883
Please. Mind the puddle.
370
00:28:42,053 --> 00:28:43,281
Thank you.
371
00:28:51,930 --> 00:28:54,421
I'm fine. I enjoy this.
372
00:28:56,601 --> 00:29:00,093
- It's so good to be here.
- I'm delighted to see you again.
373
00:29:00,972 --> 00:29:02,564
Parson.
374
00:29:02,741 --> 00:29:05,505
Is that you, Mrs. Fargate?
375
00:29:05,677 --> 00:29:08,077
Pay now, pray later.
376
00:29:08,246 --> 00:29:11,613
Mummy, shouldn't we wait till
after the services to pass the plate?
377
00:29:12,117 --> 00:29:16,178
This is our best day ever.
We can't afford to take any chances.
378
00:29:16,354 --> 00:29:18,049
Good morning, Parson.
379
00:29:18,223 --> 00:29:21,249
- What on earth is this?
- It's my pussy.
380
00:29:21,826 --> 00:29:25,227
Come along, Aunt Deliverance.
We're holding up the line.
381
00:29:35,106 --> 00:29:38,598
Book. Take it. Pass it down.
382
00:29:46,551 --> 00:29:49,111
- Hi, Miles.
- Oh, I was just looking for you.
383
00:29:54,626 --> 00:30:00,087
- What, is he next on your hit list?
- Nathaniel, lower your voice, please.
384
00:30:00,265 --> 00:30:02,631
Why? Why shouldn't
the whole town know...
385
00:30:02,801 --> 00:30:05,497
...what kind of a woman she is?
386
00:30:05,670 --> 00:30:07,399
Nathaniel, you're embarrassing us.
387
00:30:07,972 --> 00:30:09,496
Me?
388
00:30:09,674 --> 00:30:12,507
I have nothing
to be embarrassed about.
389
00:30:26,124 --> 00:30:28,820
Nathaniel, please.
390
00:30:29,694 --> 00:30:31,662
I can't help myself.
391
00:31:28,052 --> 00:31:30,384
- Good morning.
- Good morning.
392
00:31:30,555 --> 00:31:32,989
And what a beautiful morning it is,
I might add.
393
00:31:34,292 --> 00:31:38,388
First of all, I would like to thank
our organist Miss Porter...
394
00:31:38,763 --> 00:31:40,628
...for the lovely music.
395
00:31:42,367 --> 00:31:43,766
- Thank you.
- Drunk again.
396
00:31:43,935 --> 00:31:49,134
Today, I have prepared
a most important sermon.
397
00:31:53,244 --> 00:31:56,611
Here, here.
Give it to me. I'll prompt you.
398
00:31:57,882 --> 00:32:00,510
Something evil
has come over this town.
399
00:32:00,685 --> 00:32:03,586
Something evil
has come over this town.
400
00:32:03,755 --> 00:32:07,486
- Something so unbelievable...
- Something so unbelievable...
401
00:32:07,859 --> 00:32:10,089
...that I hesitate to speak its name.
402
00:32:10,428 --> 00:32:12,623
...that I hesitate...
403
00:32:13,531 --> 00:32:16,261
- To speak its name.
- To speak...
404
00:32:16,668 --> 00:32:18,465
- Its name.
-It is...
405
00:32:18,703 --> 00:32:20,000
- Name.
- Name.
406
00:32:20,471 --> 00:32:23,963
- Get on with it, you flaming asshole.
- Get on with it, you flaming asshole.
407
00:32:32,450 --> 00:32:35,385
He means witchcraft.
408
00:32:38,122 --> 00:32:41,285
Right now, as I speak...
409
00:32:41,459 --> 00:32:44,189
...there are, sitting among us...
410
00:32:44,362 --> 00:32:46,660
...demons from hell.
411
00:32:48,967 --> 00:32:52,164
Posing as your loved ones.
412
00:32:53,304 --> 00:32:55,101
Sisters.
413
00:32:55,273 --> 00:32:56,797
Brothers.
414
00:32:56,975 --> 00:32:58,806
Fathers.
415
00:32:59,310 --> 00:33:01,870
And mothers.
416
00:33:02,046 --> 00:33:06,278
Here to do Satan's bidding.
417
00:33:07,452 --> 00:33:11,445
We must root them out...
418
00:33:11,622 --> 00:33:13,988
...and drive them back...
419
00:33:14,158 --> 00:33:19,095
...to the fiery pit
from which they came.
420
00:33:19,397 --> 00:33:23,128
- You know what that means?
- Yes.
421
00:33:23,301 --> 00:33:26,236
- Give me a B.
- B.
422
00:33:26,404 --> 00:33:28,702
- Give me a U.
- U.
423
00:33:28,873 --> 00:33:30,932
- Give me an R.
- R.
424
00:33:31,109 --> 00:33:33,236
- Give me an N.
- N.
425
00:33:33,411 --> 00:33:35,777
What's that spell?
426
00:33:35,947 --> 00:33:37,938
Do I buy a vowel?
427
00:33:38,683 --> 00:33:42,244
What's that spell?
428
00:33:44,355 --> 00:33:49,520
Oh, come on, give it a shot.
B-U-R-N.
429
00:33:53,164 --> 00:33:54,597
Is it...
430
00:33:54,766 --> 00:33:57,496
-..."witch"?
- Yeah. Yeah.
431
00:33:59,203 --> 00:34:02,138
No, it's not "witch," you idiot.
432
00:34:02,607 --> 00:34:04,040
Nice try.
433
00:34:04,509 --> 00:34:10,141
It's "burn"!
434
00:34:10,314 --> 00:34:12,976
- And what are we gonna do?
- Burn them!
435
00:34:13,151 --> 00:34:15,779
- What are we gonna do?
- Burn them.
436
00:34:15,953 --> 00:34:18,046
Well, what are you waiting for?
437
00:34:18,222 --> 00:34:23,888
Get out there
and barbecue the bastards!
438
00:34:24,062 --> 00:34:26,394
Yeah!
439
00:34:43,681 --> 00:34:45,740
Wait here.
440
00:34:46,017 --> 00:34:49,714
This is the place. Get her.
441
00:34:55,026 --> 00:34:57,688
I'm innocent. No, please.
Please, no...
442
00:34:59,397 --> 00:35:01,797
Elvira Hutchinson...
443
00:35:01,966 --> 00:35:06,335
...you are hereby ordered
to stand trial for witchcraft.
444
00:35:06,504 --> 00:35:09,166
I'm innocent! I'm innocent!
445
00:35:09,874 --> 00:35:11,341
Did you say Elvira Hutchinson?
446
00:35:11,742 --> 00:35:15,610
- Yes.
- Oh, well, I'm Constance Van Buren.
447
00:35:21,185 --> 00:35:23,449
I know that I speak for everyone...
448
00:35:23,621 --> 00:35:26,522
...when I offer you
our humblest apologies.
449
00:35:26,757 --> 00:35:29,453
Oh, that's all right.
450
00:35:29,627 --> 00:35:32,562
- These things happen.
- Oh, yes.
451
00:35:32,730 --> 00:35:36,496
And perhaps I can be
of service to you.
452
00:35:36,667 --> 00:35:39,830
I know where
the Hutchinson place is.
453
00:35:40,004 --> 00:35:41,301
Follow me.
454
00:35:46,177 --> 00:35:47,906
I swear she's a witch.
455
00:35:48,679 --> 00:35:52,046
What about the trial? I'm scared.
What if they're found innocent?
456
00:35:52,216 --> 00:35:55,652
Oh, no, no, no.
Not with you defending them.
457
00:35:55,820 --> 00:35:57,287
Stand up.
458
00:35:57,455 --> 00:35:59,047
Raise your right hand.
459
00:35:59,223 --> 00:36:02,420
By the power vested in me,
Judge Samuel John...
460
00:36:02,593 --> 00:36:06,495
...I hereby appoint you
public defender.
461
00:36:06,664 --> 00:36:10,100
Public defender? You can't do that.
I don't know anything about the law.
462
00:36:11,035 --> 00:36:12,935
I know.
463
00:36:13,271 --> 00:36:14,932
You...
464
00:36:15,106 --> 00:36:18,371
...a public defender.
465
00:36:25,249 --> 00:36:27,376
And you, a judge-
466
00:36:47,905 --> 00:36:50,396
- Mrs. Ogelthorpe.
- Come along, girl.
467
00:36:50,575 --> 00:36:54,136
It isn't every day my granddaughter
has her 16th birthday.
468
00:36:54,312 --> 00:36:58,248
I really think you're gonna like
what I did with this cake.
469
00:37:06,057 --> 00:37:09,390
I designed it especially
with you in mind.
470
00:37:13,998 --> 00:37:15,898
Why, it's a...
471
00:37:30,982 --> 00:37:32,449
And then she screamed...
472
00:37:32,617 --> 00:37:34,551
...ran out of the shop
and got the mayor.
473
00:37:34,719 --> 00:37:36,016
What did he do?
474
00:37:36,187 --> 00:37:38,678
He asked me if I could
make one for his daughter.
475
00:37:38,923 --> 00:37:40,823
I'm telling you, it happened, Miles.
476
00:37:40,992 --> 00:37:43,017
And then the whole shop
changed back.
477
00:37:43,194 --> 00:37:46,220
- Are you sure you didn't imagine this?
- No, I didn't imagine it.
478
00:37:46,397 --> 00:37:48,490
It really happened.
479
00:37:48,866 --> 00:37:51,164
It was just awful.
480
00:37:51,335 --> 00:37:53,633
- What's so funny?
- I was just thinking.
481
00:37:53,804 --> 00:37:56,500
I'd sure like to have seen
old Mrs. Ogelthorpe's face...
482
00:37:56,674 --> 00:38:00,166
...when she opened up that cake box
and found that great, big--
483
00:38:00,344 --> 00:38:02,278
Miles, don't you dare.
484
00:38:02,480 --> 00:38:04,345
Okay, I'm sorry.
485
00:38:04,715 --> 00:38:06,945
Miles, I'm scared.
486
00:38:07,118 --> 00:38:09,609
They're gonna start
the trial tomorrow. I'm afraid...
487
00:38:09,820 --> 00:38:12,118
-...something terrible is gonna happen.
- Don't worry.
488
00:38:12,290 --> 00:38:14,485
There are laws in this colony
that protect people.
489
00:38:14,659 --> 00:38:18,288
Besides, Judge John is far too smart
to be taken in by all this hysteria.
490
00:38:18,496 --> 00:38:20,726
- You think so?
- Believe me, Sara.
491
00:38:20,898 --> 00:38:25,062
A few years from now, no one's gonna
ever remember the Salem witch trials.
492
00:38:26,637 --> 00:38:28,571
I hope you're right.
493
00:38:30,041 --> 00:38:31,338
Hey, look.
494
00:38:31,509 --> 00:38:36,674
- It's our tree. Oh, they're still here.
- I remember the day we carved them.
495
00:38:38,582 --> 00:38:40,982
I remember something else that day.
496
00:38:41,152 --> 00:38:43,052
It's the first time
you ever kissed me.
497
00:38:43,587 --> 00:38:45,578
That's funny,
I don't seem to remember that.
498
00:38:49,193 --> 00:38:51,024
Was it something like this?
499
00:38:54,231 --> 00:38:55,493
No.
500
00:38:55,866 --> 00:38:58,494
Well, then, how about like this?
501
00:39:04,508 --> 00:39:05,941
Sara.
502
00:39:06,110 --> 00:39:09,204
- Yes?
- Will you have my baby?
503
00:39:10,047 --> 00:39:12,413
I told you I didn't like it
when you talk like that.
504
00:39:12,583 --> 00:39:14,414
No, Sara, wait.
505
00:39:15,519 --> 00:39:18,613
I meant after we were married.
506
00:39:22,960 --> 00:39:25,224
You will marry me, won't you, Sara?
507
00:39:26,997 --> 00:39:30,228
Oh, Miles, of course I'll marry you.
508
00:39:32,336 --> 00:39:34,270
I'm sorry, Miles, did I hurt you?
509
00:39:34,438 --> 00:39:36,804
I don't know if I'll make
a good husband after today.
510
00:39:36,974 --> 00:39:39,204
- But I'll try.
- Nonsense, Miles.
511
00:39:39,377 --> 00:39:41,368
You'll make a wonderful husband.
512
00:39:41,545 --> 00:39:44,514
And we'll have a wonderful life
here in America.
513
00:39:44,682 --> 00:39:47,879
And our children will know
what it's like to taste freedom...
514
00:39:48,052 --> 00:39:51,920
...to live in a land where everyone
has the right to be who they are...
515
00:39:52,089 --> 00:39:55,388
...where there is liberty
and justice for all.
516
00:39:56,494 --> 00:39:57,927
Guilty.
517
00:39:58,095 --> 00:40:00,529
- I second that.
- But you're my lawyer.
518
00:40:00,698 --> 00:40:01,995
What?
519
00:40:03,768 --> 00:40:05,463
Your Honor...
520
00:40:05,636 --> 00:40:07,797
...I'd like to move for an appeal.
521
00:40:08,239 --> 00:40:10,173
Appeal denied.
522
00:40:10,841 --> 00:40:15,778
- Well, we gave it our best shot.
- Will the defendant please rise.
523
00:40:17,314 --> 00:40:19,009
Joshua Tupper.
524
00:40:19,183 --> 00:40:22,846
You have been
found guilty of witchcraft.
525
00:40:23,154 --> 00:40:25,315
However...
526
00:40:25,556 --> 00:40:27,956
...since this is your first offense...
527
00:40:28,125 --> 00:40:29,353
...I'm going to be lenient.
528
00:40:33,631 --> 00:40:37,590
I hereby order the accused
to be burned at the stake.
529
00:40:37,768 --> 00:40:39,030
No fine.
530
00:40:39,203 --> 00:40:41,171
No! No!
531
00:40:44,475 --> 00:40:47,808
Keep your voices down.
Deputy. Where's my deputy?
532
00:40:49,113 --> 00:40:51,172
Deputy Fire reporting
for duty, Your Honor.
533
00:40:51,348 --> 00:40:55,148
- I'd like some order in this courtroom.
- Well, consider it done.
534
00:40:55,319 --> 00:40:57,048
- Well, do it.
- Practically done.
535
00:40:57,221 --> 00:41:00,088
- Do it.
- All right, calm down. Calm down.
536
00:41:00,257 --> 00:41:03,988
The show is over. O-V-E-R, over.
537
00:41:04,161 --> 00:41:08,154
Quiet. All right, you asked for it.
538
00:41:13,437 --> 00:41:16,702
Nip, nip, nip it in the bud.
539
00:41:18,075 --> 00:41:19,838
Good thing I had my bullet.
540
00:41:37,828 --> 00:41:40,524
All right, step right up.
Test your strength.
541
00:41:40,698 --> 00:41:43,223
Come on, sir. Get out here
and show us what you can do.
542
00:41:51,442 --> 00:41:54,741
Hey, that witch-dunking is great.
Did you try it?
543
00:41:54,912 --> 00:41:57,881
You know, not only
are we making a fortune...
544
00:41:58,048 --> 00:42:01,245
...but the people
are having such a good time.
545
00:42:01,418 --> 00:42:04,945
- Hello, Mrs. Johnson.
- Hello.
546
00:42:10,027 --> 00:42:13,258
How do they bend her like that?
547
00:42:13,430 --> 00:42:15,022
I have no idea.
548
00:42:15,199 --> 00:42:19,863
Someone's burning, my Lord
549
00:42:20,037 --> 00:42:23,006
Kumbaya
550
00:42:23,941 --> 00:42:28,344
Someone's burning, my Lord
551
00:42:28,512 --> 00:42:31,481
Kumbaya
552
00:42:31,649 --> 00:42:37,178
Oh, Lord, Kumbaya
553
00:42:39,757 --> 00:42:42,851
- Where the hell is everybody?
- Oh, they're all on holiday.
554
00:42:43,027 --> 00:42:45,188
- Tomorrow is Thanksgiving.
- So what?
555
00:42:45,362 --> 00:42:47,830
I told you, we're having it
with the Indians this year.
556
00:42:47,998 --> 00:42:51,525
- Don't you remember?
- Indians. What moron thought that up?
557
00:42:51,702 --> 00:42:54,068
Well, I did.
I'm hoping to convert a few.
558
00:42:54,238 --> 00:42:56,672
If you do, maybe we can
throw them a few love beads...
559
00:42:56,840 --> 00:42:59,331
...and get them
to fork over Rhode Island.
560
00:43:02,947 --> 00:43:06,212
- Oh, you rolled me through horse shit.
- Sorry, Mummy.
561
00:43:06,383 --> 00:43:09,978
Well, don't just stand there.
Come on, get me to the water pump.
562
00:43:10,154 --> 00:43:12,782
Come on, mush. Mush.
563
00:43:17,294 --> 00:43:20,195
The game, my friend,
has finally ended.
564
00:43:20,798 --> 00:43:23,130
The last deed is ours...
565
00:43:23,300 --> 00:43:27,999
...and the sweet fragrance
of victory fills the air.
566
00:43:28,839 --> 00:43:30,204
By this time next week...
567
00:43:30,374 --> 00:43:32,774
...our bank in Boston
will have sent us the money...
568
00:43:33,077 --> 00:43:35,705
...to begin construction.
569
00:43:36,547 --> 00:43:39,607
God. I feel so good.
570
00:43:39,783 --> 00:43:43,275
I think I'll go out
and have somebody whipped.
571
00:43:43,454 --> 00:43:47,686
No. No, on second thought,
I'll whip them myself.
572
00:43:48,092 --> 00:43:49,957
I could use the exercise.
573
00:43:51,428 --> 00:43:53,555
I trust I can leave you alone.
574
00:43:53,731 --> 00:43:55,460
What?
575
00:43:57,868 --> 00:43:59,460
Nothing.
576
00:44:11,315 --> 00:44:13,715
Sorry, I didn't hear you come in.
577
00:44:13,884 --> 00:44:16,250
- I wanted to surprise you.
- Me?
578
00:44:16,420 --> 00:44:20,015
- Yes, you are the mayor, aren't you?
- Well, yes, as a matter of fact, I am.
579
00:44:20,190 --> 00:44:22,658
I was just down there
on official business.
580
00:44:22,826 --> 00:44:25,624
Yes, well, I too am here
on official business.
581
00:44:25,796 --> 00:44:27,024
Thank you.
582
00:44:27,197 --> 00:44:30,030
There is someone
I would like to accuse of witchcraft.
583
00:44:30,200 --> 00:44:32,930
Her name is Sara Lee,
the bakeshop girl.
584
00:44:33,103 --> 00:44:34,593
I believe she's a witch.
585
00:44:35,773 --> 00:44:37,570
Well, she doesn't have any land.
586
00:44:37,741 --> 00:44:40,733
I mean, she's just
a poor little orphan girl.
587
00:44:41,211 --> 00:44:43,202
You're not trying
to protect her, are you?
588
00:44:43,380 --> 00:44:46,440
Why, people might get the wrong idea
and think that you are a witch.
589
00:44:46,617 --> 00:44:47,845
What?
590
00:44:48,018 --> 00:44:50,919
And you're much too cute to burn.
591
00:44:51,088 --> 00:44:52,953
Yes, I am.
592
00:44:53,190 --> 00:44:56,057
Burn? Wait a minute.
593
00:44:56,226 --> 00:44:58,319
They can't burn me. I'm the mayor.
594
00:44:58,529 --> 00:45:00,360
They won't burn me.
595
00:45:04,435 --> 00:45:07,996
- I think you'd better read that.
- What?
596
00:45:10,541 --> 00:45:13,305
It says, "Salem Brick Company."
597
00:45:13,477 --> 00:45:15,377
No, the other side.
598
00:45:18,749 --> 00:45:21,309
"You're next." Me?
599
00:45:21,485 --> 00:45:23,919
Oh, no, that's not possible.
600
00:45:24,088 --> 00:45:27,421
You've gotta help me. Please.
I'll do anything you say.
601
00:45:28,492 --> 00:45:31,427
- Here, sign this.
- Sure.
602
00:45:34,031 --> 00:45:35,328
There.
603
00:45:35,499 --> 00:45:38,957
- Oh, you are such a very brave man.
- I am?
604
00:45:39,136 --> 00:45:41,070
Oh, yes, you are.
605
00:45:41,238 --> 00:45:43,866
And now I'd better get these papers
over to the mob--
606
00:45:44,041 --> 00:45:47,238
Oh, I mean the committee.
Kiss, kiss.
607
00:45:47,945 --> 00:45:49,435
Wait.
608
00:45:50,848 --> 00:45:53,214
I'm not doing anything later.
609
00:45:53,684 --> 00:45:55,948
That's right.
610
00:46:01,959 --> 00:46:03,426
I think she likes me.
611
00:46:07,865 --> 00:46:09,196
Sara.
612
00:46:09,700 --> 00:46:13,033
Sara, just get a few things together.
We have got to get out of here.
613
00:46:13,203 --> 00:46:15,967
Miles, what are you talking about?
I'm not going anywhere.
614
00:46:16,140 --> 00:46:19,075
They are coming to get you,
don't you understand?
615
00:46:19,243 --> 00:46:20,835
You've been named a witch.
616
00:46:21,011 --> 00:46:24,879
Miles, don't be ridiculous.
Everyone in this town knows me.
617
00:46:27,718 --> 00:46:30,448
Hold it! Hold it!
618
00:46:31,722 --> 00:46:33,246
I've never hurt a soul.
619
00:46:33,423 --> 00:46:35,618
- These people are my friends.
- Sara Lee...
620
00:46:35,793 --> 00:46:39,593
...you are hereby ordered to stand trial
for witchcraft.
621
00:46:45,269 --> 00:46:49,433
Look, you stay here.
I'll try to talk to them.
622
00:46:49,907 --> 00:46:53,809
People of Salem! People of Salem!
Listen to me, listen to me!
623
00:46:53,977 --> 00:46:57,413
I implore you.
Think about what you're about to do.
624
00:46:57,681 --> 00:46:59,945
Now, has there ever been anything
about Sara Lee...
625
00:47:00,117 --> 00:47:02,551
...that was the least bit suspicious?
626
00:47:12,729 --> 00:47:15,493
Wait! I know what
you're all thinking.
627
00:47:15,666 --> 00:47:19,500
You're thinking you all saw a bunch
of black cats just run out of that house.
628
00:47:19,670 --> 00:47:22,195
- Yeah!
- Well, that's Sara Lee.
629
00:47:22,372 --> 00:47:23,771
She's such a kidder.
630
00:47:25,509 --> 00:47:27,841
Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
631
00:47:28,278 --> 00:47:30,439
I am a man of God...
632
00:47:30,614 --> 00:47:33,105
...a graduate of
Harvard Divinity School.
633
00:47:33,283 --> 00:47:35,513
Don't you think I'd know a witch
if I saw one?
634
00:47:43,794 --> 00:47:47,924
If she's not a witch,
then what do you call that?
635
00:47:48,799 --> 00:47:50,892
A miracle?
636
00:47:51,068 --> 00:47:52,865
Miles!
637
00:47:56,607 --> 00:47:59,474
Miles, help me.
638
00:47:59,643 --> 00:48:02,441
Let's get her!
639
00:48:18,595 --> 00:48:21,223
There she is. Get her!
640
00:48:33,777 --> 00:48:35,267
Yeah, come on.
641
00:48:35,812 --> 00:48:39,304
Enjoy it while it lasts.
Come Thanksgiving...
642
00:48:50,027 --> 00:48:54,623
Just a minute.
I'd like to have a word with you.
643
00:48:54,998 --> 00:48:57,228
I'm sure Abigail needs my help
with dinner.
644
00:48:57,401 --> 00:48:58,800
She's not home.
645
00:48:58,969 --> 00:49:00,664
It's just the two of us.
646
00:49:01,171 --> 00:49:03,639
I'm really not in the mood
for this, Nathaniel.
647
00:49:03,807 --> 00:49:05,069
Who are you kidding?
648
00:49:05,242 --> 00:49:08,405
You've been after me since the day
you walked in this front door.
649
00:49:08,612 --> 00:49:10,170
Get out of my way.
650
00:49:10,347 --> 00:49:13,214
Oh, come on. I've seen the way
you look at me.
651
00:49:13,550 --> 00:49:17,213
Now, look, a real man like me
is kind of hard to resist.
652
00:49:17,521 --> 00:49:21,150
Come on. I never met a bird yet
I couldn't have.
653
00:49:33,537 --> 00:49:35,767
Oh, my God.
654
00:49:36,807 --> 00:49:38,866
You're beautiful.
655
00:49:41,211 --> 00:49:43,304
Are you alone or with someone?
656
00:49:43,680 --> 00:49:46,740
My name is Nathaniel. I'm an Aries.
657
00:49:48,685 --> 00:49:51,779
Oh, what a tail.
658
00:49:52,990 --> 00:49:56,016
I demand to see her. We're engaged.
Have you no heart?
659
00:49:56,293 --> 00:50:01,560
No visitors. Judge's orders.
That's the last time I'm telling you.
660
00:50:10,407 --> 00:50:14,969
Eight o'clock and all's well!
661
00:50:15,145 --> 00:50:18,637
Come back in here.
Come back here, you--
662
00:50:21,284 --> 00:50:24,378
Eight o'clock and all's...
663
00:50:25,756 --> 00:50:28,224
...well!
664
00:50:29,259 --> 00:50:33,218
Eight o'clock and all's well!
665
00:50:33,430 --> 00:50:36,627
It's 8:05, you asshole.
666
00:50:37,034 --> 00:50:41,698
Eight-oh-five and all's well!
667
00:51:07,264 --> 00:51:10,995
Come on, don't be gentle.
Use force.
668
00:51:11,168 --> 00:51:12,795
Use the vegetables!
669
00:51:19,242 --> 00:51:21,802
Bruises, I want to see bruises!
670
00:51:22,679 --> 00:51:25,614
A bottle of champagne,
and make it the best you got.
671
00:51:32,456 --> 00:51:35,425
- Hello, lovey.
- Widow Chastity.
672
00:51:35,592 --> 00:51:37,617
I was just thinking about you.
673
00:51:37,794 --> 00:51:39,489
I'm sure you were.
674
00:51:39,663 --> 00:51:41,255
And I bet you was thinking:
675
00:51:41,431 --> 00:51:45,197
"I wish Widow Chastity were here
so I could pay back...
676
00:51:45,368 --> 00:51:49,634
...all my gambling debts and
have myself a little peace of mind."
677
00:51:49,806 --> 00:51:52,866
Well, not exactly, but...
678
00:51:53,076 --> 00:51:55,601
But you'll get your money back,
I promise.
679
00:51:55,846 --> 00:51:58,815
- You said that the last time.
- I did?
680
00:51:59,082 --> 00:52:01,812
Oh, yeah. Well, I was lying
that time.
681
00:52:03,587 --> 00:52:06,784
- It's not nice to lie to people.
- I know.
682
00:52:07,057 --> 00:52:10,083
Someone's feelings could get hurt.
683
00:52:10,494 --> 00:52:12,155
Okay-
684
00:52:12,596 --> 00:52:15,963
You'll get the money. The judge
and I, we got a big scheme cooked up.
685
00:52:16,133 --> 00:52:17,623
We're gonna make a lot of money.
686
00:52:17,801 --> 00:52:22,238
Well, you tell the widow lady
all about it, lovey.
687
00:52:30,247 --> 00:52:31,839
I swear it's the truth.
688
00:52:32,015 --> 00:52:35,314
I got the deeds back at my house.
If you like, we could cut you in.
689
00:52:36,686 --> 00:52:39,678
Oh, well, that's very nice
of you, dear.
690
00:52:40,090 --> 00:52:44,493
- I shall give that some thought.
- There go my piano lessons.
691
00:52:46,129 --> 00:52:49,292
- This one's on the house, lovey.
- Thanks.
692
00:52:49,466 --> 00:52:52,094
But you make sure
they don't burn me.
693
00:52:52,269 --> 00:52:54,203
Don't worry about it.
The burnings are over.
694
00:52:54,371 --> 00:52:56,339
Sara Lee's the last one.
695
00:52:56,506 --> 00:52:59,373
- They're gonna burn Sara Lee?
- Yeah. What's your problem?
696
00:52:59,543 --> 00:53:01,067
Is she your daughter or something?
697
00:53:01,278 --> 00:53:03,303
Put me down!
698
00:53:03,480 --> 00:53:05,072
Look out!
699
00:53:08,852 --> 00:53:12,310
Did you see that? Did you see that?
She did it again.
700
00:53:16,593 --> 00:53:20,723
That little blond is tough.
701
00:53:23,867 --> 00:53:26,529
Nathaniel, supper's ready.
702
00:53:28,271 --> 00:53:29,932
Nathaniel?
703
00:53:33,376 --> 00:53:36,311
I just want you to know
this isn't a one-night stand.
704
00:53:41,885 --> 00:53:45,821
You know, I just can't take
this sneaking around.
705
00:53:45,989 --> 00:53:48,856
We just-- We just gotta tell her.
706
00:53:49,025 --> 00:53:51,016
We just gotta tell her.
707
00:53:52,796 --> 00:53:54,923
We gotta.
708
00:54:12,882 --> 00:54:16,841
There. Now everyone will know
who you are.
709
00:54:18,321 --> 00:54:22,417
Honored brothers, we want you to eat,
drink and be merry.
710
00:54:22,659 --> 00:54:26,220
And please remember,
everyone here is your friend.
711
00:54:49,753 --> 00:54:51,687
Everyone please be seated.
712
00:54:51,855 --> 00:54:54,323
Let's begin our special meal.
713
00:54:57,861 --> 00:55:00,056
Before we begin, please...
714
00:55:00,230 --> 00:55:03,393
...let's give thanks to our Lord.
715
00:55:06,336 --> 00:55:11,740
In the beginning,
God created the Earth.
716
00:55:18,214 --> 00:55:21,411
- What is he doing?
- He's holding up a pipe...
717
00:55:21,618 --> 00:55:22,983
...and our damn dinner.
718
00:55:25,455 --> 00:55:27,923
I think what our red brother
wants us to do...
719
00:55:28,091 --> 00:55:31,219
...is to smoke the pipe
of peace with him.
720
00:55:44,407 --> 00:55:45,897
Oh, I get it.
721
00:55:46,076 --> 00:55:49,011
What he wants us to do
is to take a puff...
722
00:55:49,179 --> 00:55:50,771
...hold the smoke in--
723
00:55:50,947 --> 00:55:53,814
Obviously, as a symbol of one's
inner strength.
724
00:55:54,050 --> 00:55:55,881
Oh, here, give me that.
725
00:55:56,052 --> 00:55:59,112
I'll show you inner strength.
726
00:56:23,380 --> 00:56:25,507
Happy Thanksgiving.
727
00:56:26,750 --> 00:56:28,308
What is this?
728
00:56:28,485 --> 00:56:30,476
The same thing we served
last Thanksgiving.
729
00:56:30,653 --> 00:56:32,780
The very same thing.
730
00:57:06,156 --> 00:57:08,522
I sure hope the parson
doesn't make it rain in here.
731
00:57:25,742 --> 00:57:27,642
I think you're right.
732
00:57:28,178 --> 00:57:31,944
Oh, I gotta get this food over to Sara.
She's probably starving by now.
733
00:57:32,816 --> 00:57:34,113
Bye.
734
00:57:40,957 --> 00:57:42,754
- So long, chief.
- How?
735
00:57:44,394 --> 00:57:47,625
You just say when, chief.
I know how.
736
00:57:51,434 --> 00:57:53,231
Sara, it's me.
737
00:57:54,504 --> 00:57:57,996
- Miles, I'm so glad to see you.
- Sara, are you all right?
738
00:57:58,208 --> 00:58:00,108
- No.
- What's the matter?
739
00:58:00,276 --> 00:58:01,766
I'm in jail.
740
00:58:02,679 --> 00:58:04,237
Besides that, are you all right?
741
00:58:05,281 --> 00:58:08,375
I guess so. Miles,
what am I gonna do?
742
00:58:08,551 --> 00:58:09,813
I don't know.
743
00:58:10,053 --> 00:58:13,022
But there's gotta be a way
to prove that you're innocent.
744
00:58:13,356 --> 00:58:14,789
You are innocent, aren't you?
745
00:58:15,458 --> 00:58:19,656
Of course I am. I can't explain
what happened at the house...
746
00:58:19,829 --> 00:58:22,696
...but I didn't do it.
Please believe me.
747
00:58:22,866 --> 00:58:24,231
Oh, Sara, I believe you.
748
00:58:24,400 --> 00:58:26,800
Things are just not what
they seem to be.
749
00:58:27,303 --> 00:58:29,464
Maybe all the others
were innocent too.
750
00:58:30,306 --> 00:58:32,797
Well, I'm not gonna rest
until I find out the truth.
751
00:58:32,976 --> 00:58:36,434
- No matter how long it takes.
- You only got 36 hours.
752
00:58:36,613 --> 00:58:39,844
Well, I better get going.
Wait a minute.
753
00:58:40,750 --> 00:58:43,913
Here. It's turkey.
754
00:58:44,554 --> 00:58:45,919
- Miles?
- Yes?
755
00:58:46,322 --> 00:58:47,687
I love you.
756
00:58:47,924 --> 00:58:50,552
Oh, I love you too, Sara.
757
00:58:54,898 --> 00:58:56,456
Abigail.
758
00:58:56,933 --> 00:58:58,833
There's something I gotta tell you.
759
00:58:59,002 --> 00:59:01,835
And I can't keep it from you
any longer.
760
00:59:02,005 --> 00:59:04,633
Now, Nathaniel, you just sit
right down here...
761
00:59:04,807 --> 00:59:09,642
...and you get ready to eat,
and we can discuss it over dinner.
762
00:59:09,846 --> 00:59:11,473
Thank you, dear.
763
00:59:11,648 --> 00:59:16,608
You know, there's a good-luck story
attached to this dinner.
764
00:59:17,053 --> 00:59:19,521
You won't believe it, but this bird...
765
00:59:19,689 --> 00:59:22,988
...was wearing a diamond ring
when I chopped its head off.
766
00:59:30,366 --> 00:59:33,199
Nathaniel?
767
00:59:33,670 --> 00:59:36,503
Nathaniel, there's plenty
for everyone.
768
00:59:45,615 --> 00:59:46,843
This was a good man.
769
00:59:48,418 --> 00:59:50,978
He was kind and generous.
770
00:59:51,387 --> 00:59:54,515
He was loving and hard-working.
771
00:59:56,759 --> 01:00:00,024
Miles, can you come by
the house tonight? I must see you.
772
01:00:00,396 --> 01:00:02,159
It could save Sara's life.
773
01:00:03,366 --> 01:00:05,994
All right. If it's that important,
I'll be there.
774
01:00:07,570 --> 01:00:09,231
He was our strength.
775
01:00:09,472 --> 01:00:12,635
He was our inspiration.
776
01:00:13,176 --> 01:00:17,613
And we will all sorely miss
our old dear friend...
777
01:00:18,047 --> 01:00:21,448
-...Milton Crabtree.
- What?
778
01:00:21,651 --> 01:00:23,414
This is the Baxter funeral.
779
01:00:23,586 --> 01:00:25,952
You know, the degenerate
with the turkey.
780
01:00:28,591 --> 01:00:33,756
May we please have a moment
of silence now for Nathaniel?
781
01:00:48,578 --> 01:00:50,512
Thank you.
782
01:01:07,897 --> 01:01:10,229
Oh, my God. Help!
Somebody help me!
783
01:01:10,400 --> 01:01:14,769
- My pussy. Somebody grab my pussy.
- Madam, please.
784
01:01:15,071 --> 01:01:17,904
Don't just stand there.
Somebody grab that woman's pussy!
785
01:01:19,108 --> 01:01:20,336
Heel.
786
01:01:48,471 --> 01:01:50,530
Get off me.
787
01:01:50,707 --> 01:01:52,766
Stop, stop. You damn dog...
788
01:01:52,942 --> 01:01:55,206
...I'm gonna break your legs!
Stop. I'll kill you.
789
01:02:11,360 --> 01:02:13,920
Parson, Parson, are you hurt?
790
01:02:14,097 --> 01:02:17,032
Miles, I believe I understand
the true meaning of Easter.
791
01:02:17,233 --> 01:02:18,666
Where is Mummy?
Is she all right?
792
01:02:18,835 --> 01:02:20,166
Well, it's hard to tell.
793
01:02:20,336 --> 01:02:22,861
No one will get close enough
to examine her.
794
01:02:23,039 --> 01:02:25,007
- Miles Campbell?
- Yes.
795
01:02:25,174 --> 01:02:27,642
I must speak to you. Alone.
796
01:02:27,944 --> 01:02:29,275
Widow Chastity!
797
01:02:29,445 --> 01:02:33,848
I have certain inside information
concerning Sara Lee.
798
01:02:34,016 --> 01:02:37,383
- Did you say Sara Lee?
- I'm sorry, this is strictly confidential.
799
01:02:37,553 --> 01:02:39,418
You may speak freely
in front of the parson.
800
01:02:39,589 --> 01:02:41,454
Why, he'd risk his very life
to save Sara.
801
01:02:41,624 --> 01:02:43,182
Yes. Did I say that?
802
01:02:43,359 --> 01:02:46,795
I mean, certainly I'd pray for her, and
I wish her all the luck in the world--
803
01:02:46,963 --> 01:02:49,397
Parson, please, we don't have time.
804
01:02:49,565 --> 01:02:52,193
The information I have could cost us
all our lives.
805
01:02:52,502 --> 01:02:54,436
Now, let's start walking.
806
01:02:54,604 --> 01:02:56,595
We don't want to draw attention
to ourselves.
807
01:03:04,781 --> 01:03:06,681
Miles?
808
01:03:07,517 --> 01:03:10,008
- Oh, Mayor Upton.
- Sara.
809
01:03:10,319 --> 01:03:11,616
What are you doing here?
810
01:03:11,854 --> 01:03:15,813
As public defender, it is my duty
to plead your case at tomorrow's trial.
811
01:03:15,992 --> 01:03:20,656
Now, I'll do everything in my power
to get you off, but first...
812
01:03:20,830 --> 01:03:23,298
...I must ask you to sign this.
813
01:03:25,835 --> 01:03:27,826
But this is a confession.
814
01:03:28,004 --> 01:03:30,632
What? It's impossible.
815
01:03:30,807 --> 01:03:35,437
"I do hereby confess."
Yes, it is a confession.
816
01:03:35,611 --> 01:03:38,603
These legal matters are beyond
both of our understanding.
817
01:03:38,881 --> 01:03:41,941
But sometimes a signed confession
could be instrumental in proving...
818
01:03:42,118 --> 01:03:44,279
...one's innocence. Sign.
819
01:03:44,453 --> 01:03:47,616
Mayor Upton, are you sure
you know what you're doing?
820
01:03:47,790 --> 01:03:50,623
My life depends on your defense.
821
01:03:50,993 --> 01:03:53,223
Well, of course I know what I'm doing.
822
01:03:53,396 --> 01:03:55,990
I've done dozens of these cases.
823
01:03:56,432 --> 01:03:58,866
But you've lost every one of them.
824
01:03:59,101 --> 01:04:01,797
That's true. That's true, I have.
825
01:04:02,171 --> 01:04:05,572
But then, odds are,
I have a win coming up.
826
01:04:08,711 --> 01:04:12,841
Mayor Upton, I really am innocent.
827
01:04:13,015 --> 01:04:14,448
Oh, yes, I know.
828
01:04:14,617 --> 01:04:17,450
And there isn't a single person
in town who doubts that.
829
01:04:17,787 --> 01:04:19,482
Burn the bitch.
830
01:04:19,655 --> 01:04:21,589
Kill her! Kill her! Kill her!
831
01:04:34,437 --> 01:04:36,166
You said you found a way
to save Sara.
832
01:04:36,339 --> 01:04:39,433
Oh, yes. Please come in.
833
01:04:54,123 --> 01:04:56,114
I've been waiting for you.
834
01:04:56,292 --> 01:05:00,160
It's awfully hot in here.
Would you mind if I open a window?
835
01:05:08,971 --> 01:05:13,999
Sara! Sara! Always Sara.
836
01:05:14,176 --> 01:05:17,145
Do you think Sara
could ever look like this?
837
01:05:18,381 --> 01:05:21,043
Well, maybe with a little makeup
and the right clothes.
838
01:05:21,684 --> 01:05:23,413
Enough!
839
01:05:24,387 --> 01:05:29,484
Tonight I'm going to make you forget
Sara was ever born.
840
01:05:31,193 --> 01:05:32,888
Come.
841
01:05:36,165 --> 01:05:38,497
Come to me, Miles.
842
01:05:39,068 --> 01:05:40,592
Holy shit.
843
01:05:40,770 --> 01:05:43,238
Come give your love to me.
844
01:05:45,207 --> 01:05:47,175
Give it to me.
845
01:05:47,944 --> 01:05:52,381
Give it to me. I demand it.
846
01:05:54,016 --> 01:05:55,278
Is everything all right?
847
01:05:55,651 --> 01:05:57,175
Oh, yes, Abigail.
848
01:05:57,353 --> 01:06:01,414
Everything is fine.
I was just reading the Bible.
849
01:06:03,259 --> 01:06:08,458
- Well, nighty-night.
- Nighty-night.
850
01:06:10,733 --> 01:06:14,396
Come to me, Miles.
Give it to me. Give it to me.
851
01:06:24,647 --> 01:06:26,638
- Oh, Parson.
- Miles, is that you?
852
01:06:26,816 --> 01:06:28,010
I'm so sorry I'm late.
853
01:06:28,184 --> 01:06:29,947
You don't know what
I've been through.
854
01:06:30,119 --> 01:06:32,849
That's fine, tell me later.
Miles, what are you wearing?
855
01:06:33,189 --> 01:06:35,521
It's an apron.
I stole it off a clothesline.
856
01:06:35,691 --> 01:06:38,626
Good grief, man. Remind me
to raise your salary.
857
01:06:38,894 --> 01:06:41,362
- Well, looks like everyone's asleep.
- Now, listen to me.
858
01:06:41,530 --> 01:06:44,761
- Priscilla knows everything.
- Priscilla!
859
01:06:44,934 --> 01:06:48,665
We have her allegiance. She said
she has left the window open.
860
01:06:48,904 --> 01:06:50,963
Wait a minute. She knows
we're doing this?
861
01:06:51,140 --> 01:06:53,108
But Priscilla's the mayor's wife.
862
01:06:53,275 --> 01:06:54,799
Yes, she is.
863
01:06:54,977 --> 01:06:57,036
But she's also
the parson's girlfriend.
864
01:06:57,346 --> 01:07:00,406
Now, please, help with the window.
865
01:07:01,050 --> 01:07:02,779
Okay-
866
01:07:05,588 --> 01:07:07,419
Miles, look out.
867
01:07:10,960 --> 01:07:12,689
What was that?
868
01:07:14,296 --> 01:07:15,888
Get up.
869
01:07:16,065 --> 01:07:18,761
It's nothing. Go back to sleep.
870
01:07:23,039 --> 01:07:25,439
Okay, where do you think
the study is?
871
01:07:25,608 --> 01:07:27,633
Oh, I think it's this way.
872
01:07:27,843 --> 01:07:29,538
Parson.
873
01:07:30,813 --> 01:07:32,872
Perhaps it's this way.
874
01:07:34,750 --> 01:07:36,274
Quiet.
875
01:07:37,853 --> 01:07:39,650
That was definitely something.
876
01:07:39,955 --> 01:07:41,786
What was something?
877
01:07:43,059 --> 01:07:45,050
It's on your foot.
878
01:07:45,261 --> 01:07:47,229
That.
879
01:07:51,801 --> 01:07:53,428
Didn't you hear that?
880
01:07:53,602 --> 01:07:56,469
There's someone in this house.
I'm getting my guns.
881
01:07:59,241 --> 01:08:01,004
Now, be quiet.
882
01:08:01,477 --> 01:08:03,240
Follow me.
883
01:08:23,132 --> 01:08:25,100
- Parson?
- Yes.
884
01:08:39,248 --> 01:08:42,115
- This is it.
- We're going to die.
885
01:08:42,651 --> 01:08:44,778
No. This is it.
886
01:08:44,954 --> 01:08:47,184
It's a scale model
of that Puritan village...
887
01:08:47,356 --> 01:08:49,290
...the one Widow Chastity
told us about.
888
01:08:49,458 --> 01:08:51,050
- Oh, good.
- Now, all we have to do...
889
01:08:51,227 --> 01:08:54,253
...is find some proof to take with us.
Here. Hold this.
890
01:08:54,463 --> 01:08:56,693
And stand over here.
891
01:08:58,434 --> 01:09:00,459
I'm gonna look around.
892
01:09:07,042 --> 01:09:09,476
- Maybe I should go for help.
- Nonsense.
893
01:09:09,645 --> 01:09:11,977
I'm sure there's nobody in there!
894
01:09:12,248 --> 01:09:14,910
Miles, hurry. Somebody's coming.
895
01:09:15,451 --> 01:09:16,941
Oh, I've looked everywhere.
896
01:09:18,988 --> 01:09:21,286
Parson. You found it.
897
01:09:21,457 --> 01:09:22,754
What?
898
01:09:25,494 --> 01:09:27,223
What's going on?
899
01:09:29,064 --> 01:09:31,089
You missed me.
900
01:09:31,267 --> 01:09:33,098
Have some respect for your elders.
901
01:09:35,804 --> 01:09:38,432
That's what happens
when cousins marry.
902
01:09:48,417 --> 01:09:49,679
It seems to be stuck.
903
01:09:49,852 --> 01:09:52,685
What? That's impossible.
Here, let me try.
904
01:10:01,797 --> 01:10:04,027
See, I told you it was nothing.
905
01:10:04,200 --> 01:10:05,667
Now can we go back to bed?
906
01:10:05,834 --> 01:10:08,997
"Now can we go back to bed?"
907
01:10:10,005 --> 01:10:13,497
All rise for
the Honorable Judge John.
908
01:10:16,512 --> 01:10:18,844
- Morning, Your Honor.
- Be seated.
909
01:10:19,114 --> 01:10:23,073
- There you go.
- This court is now in session.
910
01:10:25,521 --> 01:10:28,820
I have before me
the charge of witchcraft...
911
01:10:29,058 --> 01:10:31,185
...in the case of
The Colony of Massachusetts Bay...
912
01:10:31,360 --> 01:10:33,055
...v. Sara Lee.
913
01:10:34,597 --> 01:10:36,292
Sara Lee...
914
01:10:36,599 --> 01:10:40,091
...under the laws of this colony,
my dear, you will be judged fairly...
915
01:10:40,269 --> 01:10:41,668
...by a jury of your peers.
916
01:10:42,504 --> 01:10:44,665
Thank you, Your Honor.
917
01:10:51,947 --> 01:10:55,610
Does the counsel for the defense
have anything to say?
918
01:10:56,151 --> 01:10:58,016
Yes, Your Honor.
919
01:10:58,187 --> 01:11:00,382
The defense intends to prove that...
920
01:11:00,556 --> 01:11:04,083
...my client is
innocent of all charges.
921
01:11:07,162 --> 01:11:09,221
Does the prosecution
have a statement?
922
01:11:12,301 --> 01:11:16,761
Yes, Your Honor. The prosecution
intends to prove...
923
01:11:17,006 --> 01:11:19,474
...beyond a shadow of a doubt...
924
01:11:19,708 --> 01:11:22,575
...that Sara Lee
is guilty of witchcraft!
925
01:11:33,055 --> 01:11:36,855
Order. Order in the court.
Ladies and gentlemen, please.
926
01:11:37,459 --> 01:11:40,986
Now then, let's begin with
the prosecution.
927
01:11:41,163 --> 01:11:42,460
Call your first witness.
928
01:11:42,631 --> 01:11:44,861
Mother, you today are just
too much for me.
929
01:11:45,034 --> 01:11:47,525
God help us. So heavy.
930
01:11:47,703 --> 01:11:49,898
Dear God, do you have the dog
in there with you?
931
01:11:50,072 --> 01:11:52,267
Oh, I can't let Miles down.
932
01:11:52,441 --> 01:11:55,308
Oh, Mummy. How could you
let me oversleep?
933
01:11:56,879 --> 01:11:59,279
Wait right here. Wait right here.
934
01:12:01,450 --> 01:12:04,442
I'm coming, Miles. Don't you worry.
I am coming.
935
01:12:04,920 --> 01:12:07,582
Parson. Parson, over here.
936
01:12:08,157 --> 01:12:09,920
Order in this court. Settle down.
937
01:12:11,794 --> 01:12:13,887
Where is she?
938
01:12:15,597 --> 01:12:18,657
All right, Mrs. Johnson,
will you continue, please?
939
01:12:19,201 --> 01:12:21,294
Thank you, Your Honor.
940
01:12:22,104 --> 01:12:23,594
She's a witch, all right.
941
01:12:23,772 --> 01:12:29,233
I saw her, clear as day,
call upon Satan.
942
01:12:30,346 --> 01:12:33,179
And is that woman
in the courtroom now?
943
01:12:33,349 --> 01:12:35,249
She most certainly is.
944
01:12:35,417 --> 01:12:38,352
And would you point her out
for the court, please?
945
01:12:38,587 --> 01:12:40,885
That's the one! Burn her.
946
01:12:41,056 --> 01:12:43,456
Burn her!
Burn her...
947
01:12:43,625 --> 01:12:45,718
...before it's too late.
948
01:12:48,464 --> 01:12:50,955
Parson, hand me the map.
This is our chance.
949
01:12:54,870 --> 01:12:56,997
Please, settle down.
950
01:12:57,172 --> 01:12:59,800
This is a court of justice,
a court of law.
951
01:12:59,975 --> 01:13:03,467
Parson, this is wrapping paper.
Where's the map?
952
01:13:03,645 --> 01:13:06,443
Oh, dear. Oh, no.
953
01:13:06,615 --> 01:13:10,551
I have no idea. If that wasn't it,
then I don't know.
954
01:13:11,286 --> 01:13:15,416
Ladies and gentlemen, order, please!
Settle down. This is a court of justice.
955
01:13:15,591 --> 01:13:18,355
Now, I think we've heard
about enough from the prosecution.
956
01:13:18,527 --> 01:13:20,995
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury,
do you have a verdict?
957
01:13:21,163 --> 01:13:22,824
Yes, we have, Your Honor.
958
01:13:22,998 --> 01:13:25,523
But, Your Honor, you haven't
heard my defense yet.
959
01:13:27,436 --> 01:13:29,836
Yes, and that's the law.
960
01:13:32,007 --> 01:13:34,874
Oh, all right.
If you're gonna nitpick...
961
01:13:35,477 --> 01:13:37,741
All right, does the counsel
for the defense...
962
01:13:37,913 --> 01:13:40,814
...have any witnesses he would like
to call to the stand?
963
01:13:42,351 --> 01:13:44,876
None that I can think of, Your Honor.
964
01:13:49,158 --> 01:13:53,185
Yes. One.
The defense calls...
965
01:13:53,495 --> 01:13:56,089
...Dr. Joyce Brothers to the stand.
966
01:14:13,649 --> 01:14:17,210
Raise your right hand.
Do you swear to tell the truth...
967
01:14:17,386 --> 01:14:20,150
...the whole truth and nothing
but the truth, so help you God?
968
01:14:20,322 --> 01:14:22,415
- I do.
- I'm a big fan of yours.
969
01:14:22,591 --> 01:14:25,890
Really? Thank you so much.
970
01:14:26,361 --> 01:14:29,626
- So, Dr. Brothers, is it?
- Yes.
971
01:14:29,865 --> 01:14:31,423
And you are a doctor of what?
972
01:14:31,600 --> 01:14:34,967
A doctor of psychology, and I know
exactly what the problem is here.
973
01:14:35,571 --> 01:14:38,404
Well, then maybe you'd like to share it
with the entire court?
974
01:14:39,141 --> 01:14:43,441
All right. What you have here in Salem
is a case of mass hysteria...
975
01:14:43,612 --> 01:14:46,080
...brought on by repressive
religious doctrines...
976
01:14:46,248 --> 01:14:49,445
...which, in turn, stifle individual
sexual expression.
977
01:14:50,085 --> 01:14:54,317
This repressed sexuality,
coupled with intense moral guilt...
978
01:14:54,490 --> 01:14:57,755
...produces a violent
psychological backlash...
979
01:14:57,926 --> 01:15:01,521
...which often takes the form
of homicidal paranoia...
980
01:15:01,697 --> 01:15:06,031
...in which innocent victims
are imagined to be tormentors.
981
01:15:06,335 --> 01:15:10,237
In this case,
Sara Lee is the innocent victim...
982
01:15:10,405 --> 01:15:12,965
...and her accusers
are the real tormentors...
983
01:15:13,141 --> 01:15:15,075
...desperately in need
of a good orgasm.
984
01:15:19,715 --> 01:15:24,914
That's a load of shit.
I say we burn the bitch.
985
01:15:28,690 --> 01:15:33,855
Bailiff, take that heretic out of here.
We'll burn her later.
986
01:15:39,468 --> 01:15:42,801
Any more witnesses
for the defense?
987
01:15:45,707 --> 01:15:49,074
The defense calls Annabelle Porter
to the stand.
988
01:15:49,244 --> 01:15:51,405
How can you eat at a time like this?
989
01:15:51,580 --> 01:15:54,947
Oh, well, ever since you told me
about lunch, I haven't missed a one.
990
01:15:55,217 --> 01:15:57,117
In what way do you know
the defendant?
991
01:15:57,786 --> 01:16:01,347
Well, as most of you know,
I run the local orphanage...
992
01:16:01,523 --> 01:16:05,823
...and I met Sara when she was left
as a foundling on my doorstep...
993
01:16:05,994 --> 01:16:10,158
...almost twenty years ago.
All this witch stuff is pure nonsense.
994
01:16:10,332 --> 01:16:14,268
Why, she spent the last year
giving her free time to teaching...
995
01:16:14,436 --> 01:16:15,869
...my girls singing and dancing.
996
01:16:16,171 --> 01:16:19,766
As a matter of fact, I've brought three
of her pupils here to show you...
997
01:16:19,942 --> 01:16:22,001
...what wonderful progress
she has made.
998
01:16:22,177 --> 01:16:25,874
- Your Honor?
- Oh, go ahead.
999
01:16:26,081 --> 01:16:27,639
Girls.
1000
01:16:36,525 --> 01:16:41,019
Now you might pray to God, y'all
But I like Lucifer best of all
1001
01:16:41,196 --> 01:16:45,189
Don't keep Satan waiting
Don't keep Satan waiting
1002
01:16:45,367 --> 01:16:49,497
Sunday school is a place for fools
It's hot in he", but the devil's cool
1003
01:16:49,671 --> 01:16:53,505
Don't keep Satan waiting
Don't keep Satan waiting
1004
01:16:53,675 --> 01:16:57,611
So don't just sit there, join the club
Se" your soul to Beelzebub
1005
01:17:02,684 --> 01:17:06,347
Now, now, don't keep him waiting
Don't keep him waiting
1006
01:17:06,521 --> 01:17:10,685
You know he's waiting
Anticipating the celebrating
1007
01:17:14,596 --> 01:17:17,963
Don't be afraid to come visit Hades
This way to he"
1008
01:17:18,133 --> 01:17:19,794
Get down, get down
This way to he"
1009
01:17:19,968 --> 01:17:22,095
Get way on down
This way to he"
1010
01:17:22,270 --> 01:17:24,465
He's underground
1011
01:17:33,982 --> 01:17:36,883
Now does the jury have a verdict?
1012
01:17:37,252 --> 01:17:39,812
- We have, Your Honor.
- Wait a minute.
1013
01:17:40,922 --> 01:17:45,723
Wait a minute. It's my fault that she is
the way she is. Burn me in her place.
1014
01:17:46,561 --> 01:17:49,359
- Why?
- Because I'm...
1015
01:17:49,965 --> 01:17:51,762
Because I'm--
1016
01:17:55,937 --> 01:17:57,302
I'm her mother.
1017
01:18:04,546 --> 01:18:08,744
Excuse me, excuse me.
This isn't family court.
1018
01:18:08,917 --> 01:18:12,216
I don't give a damn who you two are.
Do you have a verdict?
1019
01:18:12,387 --> 01:18:14,287
- We have, Your Honor.
- Wait a minute.
1020
01:18:14,556 --> 01:18:17,286
- Wait a minute. Wait a minute!
- Oh, no. Not another relative.
1021
01:18:17,459 --> 01:18:20,690
I have in my hands the proof
that Sara Lee is innocent...
1022
01:18:20,862 --> 01:18:22,454
...and that you, Judge John...
1023
01:18:22,631 --> 01:18:25,759
...and you, Mayor Upton,
are the guilty ones.
1024
01:18:25,934 --> 01:18:28,801
You are incredibly out of order!
1025
01:18:28,970 --> 01:18:30,369
Listen to me. Listen to me.
1026
01:18:30,539 --> 01:18:33,303
They have been burning
innocent people and taking their land.
1027
01:18:33,475 --> 01:18:35,841
It's all here in the map
of Puritan Village.
1028
01:18:36,011 --> 01:18:37,979
Here, look for yourselves!
1029
01:18:39,648 --> 01:18:40,979
He's a witch!
1030
01:18:49,224 --> 01:18:51,283
Burn them.
1031
01:18:52,327 --> 01:18:54,022
Burn them.
1032
01:18:57,232 --> 01:18:58,494
Burn them.
1033
01:18:58,800 --> 01:19:00,597
Burn them both.
1034
01:19:03,605 --> 01:19:04,765
Bum them both?
1035
01:19:05,340 --> 01:19:06,898
Both.
1036
01:19:07,709 --> 01:19:10,473
Sara Lee. Miles Campbell.
1037
01:19:10,645 --> 01:19:12,579
Prepare to meet your maker.
1038
01:19:12,748 --> 01:19:17,378
Sara, I want you to know, I'll always
love you in this world and in the next.
1039
01:19:17,552 --> 01:19:21,955
Oh, Miles. I'll love you
till the day I die.
1040
01:19:23,391 --> 01:19:25,416
Light n.
1041
01:19:25,794 --> 01:19:27,785
- Light it.
- No.
1042
01:19:28,029 --> 01:19:30,862
- You're fired!
- I quit!
1043
01:19:31,733 --> 01:19:36,500
- All right. You, light it.
- Me? Why me?
1044
01:19:36,671 --> 01:19:39,435
Because I'm bigger than you are.
Now, light it.
1045
01:19:42,844 --> 01:19:46,109
- Light it, you fool. Light it.
- Burn them.
1046
01:19:46,281 --> 01:19:47,839
No! Listen to me.
1047
01:19:48,016 --> 01:19:50,450
Do not do this.
These good people are innocent.
1048
01:19:50,619 --> 01:19:52,814
- Get away.
- No, by God, I will not let you do it.
1049
01:19:52,988 --> 01:19:54,956
- Stop it.
- Get back! Get back.
1050
01:20:07,969 --> 01:20:09,231
There's your witch.
1051
01:20:09,971 --> 01:20:12,997
No shit, Sherlock.
1052
01:20:13,642 --> 01:20:17,043
That's right. I'm a witch.
1053
01:20:17,345 --> 01:20:22,977
And, of course, if any of you had any
brains, you'd know who's behind this.
1054
01:20:25,220 --> 01:20:26,915
Oh, boys!
1055
01:20:27,088 --> 01:20:31,457
You're not going away without
a farewell speech, are you?
1056
01:20:32,060 --> 01:20:34,119
It's time to tell the truth.
1057
01:20:37,165 --> 01:20:40,931
We made it up about the witches so
we could steal everybody's land.
1058
01:20:41,803 --> 01:20:44,033
Shut up, you weak-willed--
1059
01:20:44,206 --> 01:20:47,573
We were going to sell you all
down the river for a profit.
1060
01:20:48,643 --> 01:20:51,806
That's right. It was them all along.
1061
01:20:52,080 --> 01:20:56,107
You fools, you do nothing
but burn innocent people.
1062
01:20:56,351 --> 01:20:58,751
What a bunch of hypocrites.
1063
01:21:00,555 --> 01:21:03,115
And as for you, sweet lips...
1064
01:21:03,625 --> 01:21:06,560
...it's too bad we never did get it on.
1065
01:21:09,197 --> 01:21:13,327
I'm sure we would've had
a real fun time.
1066
01:21:16,972 --> 01:21:19,634
And now, if you'll all excuse me...
1067
01:21:19,808 --> 01:21:23,335
...I've had enough
of this miserable little town.
1068
01:21:23,778 --> 01:21:25,712
Adios, pinheads.
1069
01:21:29,384 --> 01:21:31,944
I can see. It's a miracle!
1070
01:21:32,120 --> 01:21:35,385
I can see!
1071
01:21:36,157 --> 01:21:39,388
Samuel, Caleb, Jeremiah,
release them at once.
1072
01:21:47,669 --> 01:21:49,193
Parson...
1073
01:21:53,074 --> 01:21:55,668
-...will you do us a favor?
- Anything, Miles. Anything.
1074
01:21:55,844 --> 01:21:57,141
Marry us. Now. Here.
1075
01:21:57,312 --> 01:21:58,745
Oh, yes. Please.
1076
01:21:59,114 --> 01:22:01,014
I would be honored.
1077
01:22:02,217 --> 01:22:06,153
In the beginning,
God made Adam and Eve.
1078
01:22:07,255 --> 01:22:08,813
Oh, all right.
1079
01:22:08,990 --> 01:22:10,821
By the power vested in me...
1080
01:22:10,992 --> 01:22:14,519
...I do hereby pronounce you
man and wife. Kiss the bride.
1081
01:22:20,769 --> 01:22:25,797
Good townspeople, never forget
the lesson you've learned here today.
1082
01:22:26,141 --> 01:22:30,202
Love, brotherly love,
unconditional love for each other...
1083
01:22:30,378 --> 01:22:32,812
...without any judgment whatsoever.
1084
01:22:32,981 --> 01:22:37,247
That's what Salem must stand for
from this moment on.
1085
01:22:37,419 --> 01:22:40,946
I agree! Let's let bygones
be bygones.
1086
01:22:41,122 --> 01:22:43,454
It wasn't me. It was the judge.
1087
01:22:43,625 --> 01:22:45,354
Get them!
1088
01:22:51,533 --> 01:22:54,798
Well, Parson, it looks like these
people still have a long way to go.
1089
01:22:54,970 --> 01:22:56,528
I'm afraid so, Miles.
1090
01:22:56,705 --> 01:23:00,004
Although I was hoping that somebody
would've learned a lesson from this.
1091
01:23:01,509 --> 01:23:04,410
- I better go and find Mummy.
- Oh, Parson.
1092
01:23:04,679 --> 01:23:06,772
Oh, yes.
1093
01:23:07,749 --> 01:23:11,845
On second thought, maybe it's time
the old goat learns to help herself.
1094
01:23:12,387 --> 01:23:16,448
- Goodbye, children.
- Goodbye, Parson.
1095
01:23:20,195 --> 01:23:25,428
- Now what are we gonna do?
- Miles, we just got married.
1096
01:23:25,700 --> 01:23:29,466
Oh, yeah. Come along,
Mrs. Campbell.
83636
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