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(projector clicking)
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Downloaded from
YTS.MX
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Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX
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(upbeat orchestral music)
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00:00:36,023 --> 00:00:39,523
(bright orchestral music)
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(Marlo gasping)
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00:01:07,090 --> 00:01:09,340
- What the hell is this?
8
00:01:09,340 --> 00:01:12,563
- Only the best Limburger on
the market, you're welcome.
9
00:01:14,050 --> 00:01:17,810
- I need cash, not some stinking
cheese, you orange idiot!
10
00:01:17,810 --> 00:01:18,860
- You got it, Mister.
11
00:01:29,807 --> 00:01:32,557
(rider laughing)
12
00:01:33,909 --> 00:01:36,576
(Carl groaning)
13
00:01:45,853 --> 00:01:47,930
- Come on, Alfie, come on.
14
00:01:47,930 --> 00:01:50,370
(Marlo humming)
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00:01:50,370 --> 00:01:54,373
I know it, we're gonna
go inside, you'll see.
16
00:01:54,373 --> 00:01:56,623
Come on now, be a good boy.
17
00:01:58,778 --> 00:01:59,611
Reily?
18
00:02:02,170 --> 00:02:04,420
Looks like Reily's making
another experiment.
19
00:02:07,080 --> 00:02:11,890
Okay, good for you, okay, come on, okay.
20
00:02:11,890 --> 00:02:14,410
You did a really fantastic
job today, Alfie.
21
00:02:14,410 --> 00:02:16,814
Way to nail that poop on the sidewalk.
22
00:02:16,814 --> 00:02:17,647
(dog barking)
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00:02:17,647 --> 00:02:18,996
You earned it.
24
00:02:18,996 --> 00:02:20,016
(dog barking)
25
00:02:20,016 --> 00:02:22,683
(toy squeaking)
26
00:02:30,034 --> 00:02:32,970
(phone pinging)
27
00:02:32,970 --> 00:02:34,010
Hi there, folks,
28
00:02:34,010 --> 00:02:35,430
this is Marlo Lasker.
29
00:02:35,430 --> 00:02:38,820
I'm probably making Brie
or playing chess online.
30
00:02:38,820 --> 00:02:40,607
Please leave a message.
31
00:02:41,530 --> 00:02:43,870
(phone beeping)
32
00:02:43,870 --> 00:02:46,200
- [Reily] Marlo, I'm not
gonna be able to join you
33
00:02:46,200 --> 00:02:47,680
at the party tonight.
34
00:02:47,680 --> 00:02:50,610
I'm going to sudden death in
the county chess tournament,
35
00:02:50,610 --> 00:02:51,443
but have fun.
36
00:02:52,394 --> 00:02:53,780
(Marlo exhaling)
37
00:02:53,780 --> 00:02:55,923
- That's a bummer, Alfie.
38
00:02:55,923 --> 00:02:57,430
(dog barking)
39
00:02:57,430 --> 00:02:59,410
I mean, I'm happy for
Reily, he's gonna kick butt
40
00:02:59,410 --> 00:03:01,890
in that chess tournament, I have no doubt.
41
00:03:01,890 --> 00:03:02,760
But it sounds like he's not gonna be
42
00:03:02,760 --> 00:03:05,060
going to the party after all.
43
00:03:05,060 --> 00:03:07,851
Although I'm pretty sure that
Susie will still be there.
44
00:03:07,851 --> 00:03:10,351
(dog barking)
45
00:03:18,260 --> 00:03:21,226
Alfie, that is very inappropriate.
46
00:03:21,226 --> 00:03:23,726
(dog barking)
47
00:03:34,930 --> 00:03:36,884
So what do you think?
48
00:03:36,884 --> 00:03:39,110
Do you think I should
still go to the party?
49
00:03:39,110 --> 00:03:42,190
(dog barking)
50
00:03:42,190 --> 00:03:44,503
You're right, Alfie, I can do this.
51
00:04:02,004 --> 00:04:04,671
(Marlo panting)
52
00:04:06,850 --> 00:04:07,933
- I'm trying.
53
00:04:15,838 --> 00:04:19,338
(bright orchestral music)
54
00:04:28,286 --> 00:04:31,036
(Marlo sneezing)
55
00:04:53,867 --> 00:04:56,534
(water running)
56
00:05:00,121 --> 00:05:02,788
(dryer humming)
57
00:05:15,670 --> 00:05:18,420
(Marlo thudding)
58
00:05:20,180 --> 00:05:22,847
(phone ringing)
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00:05:24,839 --> 00:05:25,672
Susie, oh.
60
00:05:26,842 --> 00:05:30,342
(bright orchestral music)
61
00:05:34,922 --> 00:05:37,803
(whooshing)
62
00:05:37,803 --> 00:05:40,470
(keys striking)
63
00:05:43,560 --> 00:05:45,450
How's today's lesson going, Timmy?
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00:05:45,450 --> 00:05:47,770
- It's good, I was just looking over your
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00:05:48,620 --> 00:05:51,270
queen sacrifice scenario, and I gotta say,
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00:05:51,270 --> 00:05:55,040
that's a real doozy there,
you're a risky fella.
67
00:05:55,040 --> 00:05:57,450
- The queen sacrifice
might appear so brazen
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00:05:57,450 --> 00:05:59,670
that a player might choose a safer route,
69
00:05:59,670 --> 00:06:02,880
but an elite tactician will
always trust his instinct
70
00:06:02,880 --> 00:06:04,770
and never shirk from risk.
71
00:06:04,770 --> 00:06:06,870
Remember, you aren't
playing in a tournament
72
00:06:06,870 --> 00:06:08,780
in order to paint pretty pictures.
73
00:06:08,780 --> 00:06:10,760
You're playing to score points.
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00:06:10,760 --> 00:06:14,530
And avoid real sports, okay.
75
00:06:14,530 --> 00:06:15,430
- Yes.
76
00:06:15,430 --> 00:06:18,100
- Plus, you know, an
objectively unsound sacrifice
77
00:06:18,100 --> 00:06:21,240
can have a tremendous psychological
effect on your opponent,
78
00:06:21,240 --> 00:06:22,850
throwing him way off track.
79
00:06:22,850 --> 00:06:27,210
In chess, as in life, risk often pays off,
80
00:06:27,210 --> 00:06:30,070
or so I'm told, cool?
81
00:06:30,070 --> 00:06:32,460
- Oh, I got it, Marlo, thanks a ton.
82
00:06:32,460 --> 00:06:34,160
- You're welcome, Timmy.
83
00:06:34,160 --> 00:06:37,813
And, um, today is payday, just FYI, so.
84
00:06:40,582 --> 00:06:41,897
- Here's your payment.
85
00:06:41,897 --> 00:06:43,250
(cash register ringing)
86
00:06:43,250 --> 00:06:44,083
- Thanks, Timmy.
87
00:06:47,458 --> 00:06:48,291
Oh, ah.
88
00:07:12,979 --> 00:07:17,979
Oh, oh, oh oh.
89
00:07:18,540 --> 00:07:21,540
(bike horn beeping)
90
00:07:30,959 --> 00:07:33,959
(crickets chirping)
91
00:07:40,100 --> 00:07:42,650
- Whoa, listen, dweeb.
92
00:07:42,650 --> 00:07:45,800
No parking your girly bicycle thing
93
00:07:45,800 --> 00:07:48,270
near my sexy ride.
94
00:07:48,270 --> 00:07:51,039
(car alarm beeping)
95
00:07:51,039 --> 00:07:55,456
(retching)
(gasping)
96
00:07:59,210 --> 00:08:01,230
- Excuse me, sir, I
believe I should bring it
97
00:08:01,230 --> 00:08:06,170
to your attention that in
2014, 9,937 people died,
98
00:08:06,170 --> 00:08:08,210
unfortunately, in drunk driving accidents.
99
00:08:08,210 --> 00:08:10,710
Now that would be one every 53 minutes.
100
00:08:10,710 --> 00:08:13,920
I should also also let you know
that the conviction for DUI
101
00:08:13,920 --> 00:08:15,700
comes with a high financial fine.
102
00:08:15,700 --> 00:08:17,920
They will actually take
your license, you will get
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00:08:17,920 --> 00:08:19,700
imprisoned, at the same
time they'll probably
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00:08:19,700 --> 00:08:21,140
impound your vehicle.
105
00:08:21,140 --> 00:08:25,250
So, if you value your
beautiful red-hot 928 more so
106
00:08:25,250 --> 00:08:28,120
than your fading GPA, I'm assuming,
107
00:08:28,120 --> 00:08:30,240
I highly recommend that
you allow this lovely woman
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00:08:30,240 --> 00:08:32,023
to take you home this evening.
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00:08:33,090 --> 00:08:34,460
Have a good night.
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00:08:34,460 --> 00:08:35,293
Excuse me.
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00:08:39,160 --> 00:08:40,460
- I'm not drunk (retches).
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00:08:45,860 --> 00:08:48,110
(coughing)
113
00:08:49,527 --> 00:08:51,140
(upbeat music)
114
00:08:51,140 --> 00:08:53,361
- So like, Brad was totally
checking you out the other day.
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00:08:53,361 --> 00:08:56,255
- I know, but like he always does.
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00:08:56,255 --> 00:08:57,088
(clearing throat)
117
00:08:57,088 --> 00:08:58,420
- Excuse me, ladies.
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00:08:58,420 --> 00:08:59,650
Would either of you happen to know
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00:08:59,650 --> 00:09:01,603
where I could find Susie, Susie Banks?
120
00:09:02,540 --> 00:09:04,530
- She's in the living room.
121
00:09:04,530 --> 00:09:06,006
- Fantastic!
122
00:09:06,006 --> 00:09:07,480
Oh, thanks a million.
123
00:09:07,480 --> 00:09:08,363
- Oh my God!
124
00:09:09,280 --> 00:09:12,633
Are you for real making fun
of retarded people right now?
125
00:09:13,733 --> 00:09:16,410
- Uh, what do you mean?
126
00:09:16,410 --> 00:09:19,213
- I mean, you're obviously
not really like this, right?
127
00:09:20,250 --> 00:09:22,193
I am so offended.
128
00:09:23,500 --> 00:09:26,460
- Oh, well, actually I'm
offended that you're offended.
129
00:09:26,460 --> 00:09:29,150
You see, ladies, having an IQ of 157
130
00:09:29,150 --> 00:09:31,800
gives me a very unique
perspective on the human race.
131
00:09:31,800 --> 00:09:34,160
And although I am special
according to my late mother's
132
00:09:34,160 --> 00:09:37,680
diary, I am not, nor would
I ever, make fun of those
133
00:09:37,680 --> 00:09:40,160
given less intellectual
capacity than most,
134
00:09:40,160 --> 00:09:42,300
i.e., since you're a natural blonde,
135
00:09:42,300 --> 00:09:44,610
are we supposed to assume
that you're stupid?
136
00:09:44,610 --> 00:09:47,320
- Wow, now I'm really offended.
137
00:09:47,320 --> 00:09:49,630
- Once again, I'm offended
that you're offended.
138
00:09:49,630 --> 00:09:52,510
So according to my calculations,
that puts four offendeds
139
00:09:52,510 --> 00:09:55,250
between us, and since two
negatives equal a positive,
140
00:09:55,250 --> 00:09:56,730
we now have double positives,
141
00:09:56,730 --> 00:10:00,203
therefore, we just came out
a head, hashtag, nerd life.
142
00:10:01,587 --> 00:10:04,170
(scoffing)
143
00:10:04,170 --> 00:10:05,723
- Technically, he's right.
144
00:10:06,980 --> 00:10:09,200
- You know no one likes you, right?
145
00:10:13,544 --> 00:10:15,884
(bright orchestral music)
146
00:10:15,884 --> 00:10:17,057
(balloon popping)
147
00:10:17,057 --> 00:10:18,057
- Oh oh, ah.
148
00:10:24,397 --> 00:10:25,230
Cheese.
149
00:10:27,689 --> 00:10:30,522
(balloon popping)
150
00:10:40,618 --> 00:10:42,951
(whooshing)
151
00:10:54,432 --> 00:10:57,629
(upbeat funky music)
152
00:10:57,629 --> 00:10:58,462
Oh.
153
00:10:59,743 --> 00:11:00,576
Susie.
154
00:11:12,694 --> 00:11:15,361
(Marlo sighing)
155
00:11:26,397 --> 00:11:28,501
(Marlo inhaling)
156
00:11:28,501 --> 00:11:30,751
(coughing)
157
00:11:31,767 --> 00:11:34,517
(Susie giggling)
158
00:11:58,057 --> 00:12:00,490
- Hi, Susie.
- Hi, Marlo.
159
00:12:00,490 --> 00:12:01,323
You made it.
160
00:12:01,323 --> 00:12:03,230
- Yeah, well I was
waiting at the front door
161
00:12:03,230 --> 00:12:04,230
for your parents, but they didn't--
162
00:12:04,230 --> 00:12:05,620
- Don't worry about it.
163
00:12:05,620 --> 00:12:08,470
Anyways, my parents are outta
the country for the month.
164
00:12:08,470 --> 00:12:10,573
They're in Laos, diplomats.
165
00:12:11,430 --> 00:12:12,263
- Got it.
166
00:12:15,260 --> 00:12:18,956
- You know you're an hour
and a half late, right?
167
00:12:18,956 --> 00:12:19,789
- Really?
168
00:12:19,789 --> 00:12:20,622
- Yeah.
169
00:12:20,622 --> 00:12:24,689
- Oh, uh, oh my goodness, oh
my goodness, I'm so sorry.
170
00:12:24,689 --> 00:12:27,600
I'm so embarrassed, I'm
so sorry, I apologize.
171
00:12:27,600 --> 00:12:29,117
- That's okay.
172
00:12:29,117 --> 00:12:31,180
- But I have a good reason.
173
00:12:31,180 --> 00:12:32,510
- Really?
174
00:12:32,510 --> 00:12:35,030
- It's just, I was doing something
175
00:12:35,030 --> 00:12:37,090
special for your birthday present.
176
00:12:37,090 --> 00:12:37,923
Do you wanna see it?
177
00:12:37,923 --> 00:12:38,770
- Yes, of course.
178
00:12:41,925 --> 00:12:42,758
- Tada.
179
00:12:43,904 --> 00:12:46,728
- Oh, you shouldn't have.
180
00:12:46,728 --> 00:12:49,540
- Well it's made from
vanilla extract and a hint
181
00:12:49,540 --> 00:12:51,640
of European dynasty made from real
182
00:12:51,640 --> 00:12:53,140
olive oil from the Greeks.
183
00:12:53,140 --> 00:12:56,510
It was made by geeks, no,
it wasn't made by geeks,
184
00:12:56,510 --> 00:12:59,837
it was made by the Greeks of 5000 BC.
185
00:12:59,837 --> 00:13:02,749
- Oh, that is so sweet of you, thank you.
186
00:13:02,749 --> 00:13:03,582
- Oh.
187
00:13:05,149 --> 00:13:05,982
- Girls, girls.
188
00:13:07,242 --> 00:13:08,592
Girls, girls, girls, girls.
189
00:13:09,460 --> 00:13:12,300
This is Marlo, he's the
one who's been helping me
190
00:13:12,300 --> 00:13:14,950
in my astrophysics class
for the past two months.
191
00:13:14,950 --> 00:13:18,038
He's the only reason I passed my exams.
192
00:13:18,038 --> 00:13:20,383
- That's not entirely accurate.
193
00:13:20,383 --> 00:13:23,186
Once you understood quantum
mechanics, thermodynamics
194
00:13:23,186 --> 00:13:25,310
and Aristarchus' heliocentric
theory, you pretty much
195
00:13:25,310 --> 00:13:30,060
had 92.6% of the information
you need to know.
196
00:13:30,060 --> 00:13:32,650
- I'm really glad you decided to come.
197
00:13:32,650 --> 00:13:34,020
- Me too, Susie.
198
00:13:34,020 --> 00:13:36,892
I was wondering if tonight would
be a good time to ask you--
199
00:13:36,892 --> 00:13:39,531
- Oh my God, baby, baby.
200
00:13:39,531 --> 00:13:40,364
Baby.
201
00:13:40,364 --> 00:13:41,197
(muttering)
202
00:13:41,197 --> 00:13:44,197
(upbeat rock music)
203
00:13:45,623 --> 00:13:47,278
Oh my God, you're not gonna believe this.
204
00:13:47,278 --> 00:13:50,430
Jeremy!
(laughs)
205
00:13:50,430 --> 00:13:52,910
Jeremy and I, we drew a penis,
206
00:13:53,891 --> 00:13:55,860
on Chuck's face and tweeted it
207
00:13:55,860 --> 00:13:58,070
to his entire church group online.
208
00:13:58,070 --> 00:14:00,555
- Yeah, his penis.
209
00:14:00,555 --> 00:14:03,222
(both laughing)
210
00:14:06,820 --> 00:14:07,903
- That's nice, Caleb.
211
00:14:09,380 --> 00:14:10,540
- Hey, ladies.
212
00:14:11,430 --> 00:14:12,930
- Jeremy!
213
00:14:12,930 --> 00:14:14,290
You're a pig.
214
00:14:14,290 --> 00:14:15,123
- [Jeremy] Shut up, Denise.
215
00:14:15,123 --> 00:14:16,740
- No, we're done, we're done, no.
216
00:14:17,990 --> 00:14:19,340
- [Jeremy] Denise, come on.
217
00:14:20,350 --> 00:14:21,183
Come on.
218
00:14:22,644 --> 00:14:24,820
Come on, come on.
219
00:14:24,820 --> 00:14:25,863
- Hey, who let the nerd in here?
220
00:14:25,863 --> 00:14:28,740
- Just stop it, Caleb, all right.
221
00:14:28,740 --> 00:14:30,300
Not here, please.
222
00:14:30,300 --> 00:14:31,651
Marlo was just bringing me--
223
00:14:31,651 --> 00:14:33,093
- Just what?
224
00:14:33,093 --> 00:14:34,053
Just leaving.
225
00:14:35,290 --> 00:14:36,123
Right?
226
00:14:36,123 --> 00:14:38,540
- Well, I, I, I just stopped by
227
00:14:38,540 --> 00:14:42,190
because I was actually, I
baked a cheesecake for Susie.
228
00:14:42,190 --> 00:14:43,730
- Oh this cheesecake?
229
00:14:43,730 --> 00:14:44,563
- [Marlo] Yes, precisely.
230
00:14:44,563 --> 00:14:46,276
- Isn't it beautiful?
231
00:14:46,276 --> 00:14:47,870
(Caleb sniffing)
232
00:14:47,870 --> 00:14:48,703
- Wow.
233
00:14:50,490 --> 00:14:52,690
This smells and looks great.
234
00:14:52,690 --> 00:14:53,947
Great job, buddy.
235
00:14:54,938 --> 00:14:57,010
- Um, thank you so much.
236
00:14:57,010 --> 00:14:59,260
- Hey, I'm feeling kinda thirsty.
237
00:14:59,260 --> 00:15:01,400
Could you be a doll and
go get me some punch?
238
00:15:01,400 --> 00:15:03,053
- Sure, hon, be right back.
239
00:15:04,444 --> 00:15:06,940
Oh.
240
00:15:06,940 --> 00:15:10,363
- Susie, what, where do you want the cake?
241
00:15:14,070 --> 00:15:16,840
- Hey, what was your name again?
242
00:15:16,840 --> 00:15:17,673
- Uh,
243
00:15:19,590 --> 00:15:22,113
Lasker, Marlo Lasker.
244
00:15:23,810 --> 00:15:26,303
- Mm, cool.
245
00:15:27,370 --> 00:15:29,233
Hey, tell me about your cheesecake.
246
00:15:30,340 --> 00:15:31,613
- Really?
247
00:15:31,613 --> 00:15:32,490
- Yeah.
248
00:15:32,490 --> 00:15:35,700
- Okay, well, I baked
it with vanilla extract.
249
00:15:35,700 --> 00:15:37,835
Actually, Susie wanted, it was European--
250
00:15:37,835 --> 00:15:40,747
Oo, oh (groans).
251
00:15:42,506 --> 00:15:44,067
(girls laughing)
252
00:15:44,067 --> 00:15:45,723
- [Both] Loser.
253
00:15:47,820 --> 00:15:49,053
- My gosh, Marlo.
254
00:15:50,620 --> 00:15:51,513
What happened?
255
00:15:52,410 --> 00:15:55,300
- Oh, he just had an accident.
256
00:15:55,300 --> 00:15:57,143
Right, Marlo?
257
00:15:58,830 --> 00:15:59,663
- Um, I.
258
00:16:01,380 --> 00:16:02,213
Uh.
259
00:16:05,390 --> 00:16:08,070
Yeah, it was an accident.
260
00:16:08,070 --> 00:16:12,063
- Oh, Marlo, I'm sorry,
I'll get you a towel.
261
00:16:16,223 --> 00:16:18,470
(Caleb belching)
262
00:16:18,470 --> 00:16:20,720
- Who said you could
come to the party, nerd?
263
00:16:22,040 --> 00:16:24,640
- Well actually Susie invited me, so I--
264
00:16:24,640 --> 00:16:27,360
- Oh, well, how nice.
265
00:16:27,360 --> 00:16:30,090
Well I certainly wouldn't
want you to feel unwelcome.
266
00:16:30,090 --> 00:16:32,600
Have you been offered something to drink?
267
00:16:32,600 --> 00:16:34,170
Perhaps some punch?
268
00:16:34,170 --> 00:16:36,893
- Well, I am a little thirsty,
now that you mention it.
269
00:16:36,893 --> 00:16:37,810
Oh, oh, oh.
270
00:16:39,507 --> 00:16:42,621
(Marlo whimpering)
271
00:16:42,621 --> 00:16:45,788
(soft dramatic music)
272
00:16:48,960 --> 00:16:51,983
- If you go near my girlfriend
again, I'll kill you.
273
00:16:52,910 --> 00:16:53,863
You got that?
274
00:16:57,380 --> 00:16:58,293
Beat it, nerd.
275
00:17:00,210 --> 00:17:03,269
Ladies, let's go have some fun.
276
00:17:03,269 --> 00:17:05,686
But don't tell my girlfriend.
277
00:17:08,293 --> 00:17:10,876
(Marlo crying)
278
00:18:08,771 --> 00:18:11,354
(upbeat music)
279
00:18:16,347 --> 00:18:18,830
- Yo, yo, yo, what's the deal, hefe?
280
00:18:18,830 --> 00:18:20,560
- Neighborhood watch up in this, bitch.
281
00:18:20,560 --> 00:18:22,760
You better recognize, gringo.
282
00:18:22,760 --> 00:18:25,730
- Hey there, Hector, Jose,
how's it going, fellas?
283
00:18:25,730 --> 00:18:28,477
- We're just taking our
business to the next level.
284
00:18:28,477 --> 00:18:32,144
(speaking foreign language)
285
00:18:33,070 --> 00:18:36,210
- You see any criminals,
or you need any favors,
286
00:18:36,210 --> 00:18:37,703
you give us a call, man.
287
00:18:38,730 --> 00:18:41,233
- Okay, thanks, fellas, will do.
288
00:18:42,110 --> 00:18:44,110
- Hey, you know what time it is?
289
00:18:44,110 --> 00:18:45,770
- Well I think it's a quarter past--
290
00:18:45,770 --> 00:18:47,853
- It's burnout time, hefe.
291
00:18:47,853 --> 00:18:50,517
(engine revving)
292
00:18:50,517 --> 00:18:53,146
(tires squealing)
293
00:18:53,146 --> 00:18:55,771
(grunting)
294
00:18:55,771 --> 00:18:58,438
(Jose laughing)
295
00:19:00,190 --> 00:19:01,023
- Oh ho.
296
00:19:03,547 --> 00:19:06,968
(bright orchestral music)
297
00:19:06,968 --> 00:19:09,801
(dolphin buzzing)
298
00:19:21,375 --> 00:19:22,208
(dog barking)
299
00:19:22,208 --> 00:19:24,218
Alfie, hey, buddy.
300
00:19:24,218 --> 00:19:26,600
(dog whining)
301
00:19:26,600 --> 00:19:27,433
Alfie.
302
00:19:28,372 --> 00:19:29,622
- Hey, how was the party?
303
00:19:31,455 --> 00:19:34,455
- It wasn't exactly what I expected.
304
00:19:35,747 --> 00:19:37,333
- They didn't like the cheesecake?
305
00:19:39,800 --> 00:19:41,693
Sorry, Marlo, maybe next time.
306
00:19:45,737 --> 00:19:49,740
- Reily, do you ever get
tired of living like this?
307
00:19:49,740 --> 00:19:50,970
- Like what?
308
00:19:50,970 --> 00:19:52,120
- I don't know, I mean,
309
00:19:53,990 --> 00:19:57,460
are we nerds, do we look like nerds?
310
00:19:57,460 --> 00:20:00,650
- Nerd is a relative term,
Marlo, that can only be utilized
311
00:20:00,650 --> 00:20:02,700
geographically based on
the common denominator
312
00:20:02,700 --> 00:20:04,190
of what is considered popular and normal
313
00:20:04,190 --> 00:20:06,610
by temporary social standing
within a fixed environment
314
00:20:06,610 --> 00:20:07,740
or societal boundaries.
315
00:20:07,740 --> 00:20:09,193
- So?
316
00:20:10,300 --> 00:20:11,803
- Yes, we're nerds.
317
00:20:13,300 --> 00:20:14,595
- Got it.
318
00:20:14,595 --> 00:20:16,040
- Is this news to you?
319
00:20:16,040 --> 00:20:18,570
- No, not really I guess.
320
00:20:18,570 --> 00:20:21,280
I'm just sick and tired of being laughed
321
00:20:21,280 --> 00:20:23,304
at by everyone and not being respected.
322
00:20:23,304 --> 00:20:24,137
- Wait a second.
323
00:20:25,343 --> 00:20:27,393
Does this have anything to do with Susie?
324
00:20:29,420 --> 00:20:31,460
- Yes, why do you ask?
325
00:20:31,460 --> 00:20:33,400
- Marlo, she's got a boyfriend.
326
00:20:33,400 --> 00:20:35,930
- He treats her like crap, Reily.
327
00:20:35,930 --> 00:20:38,143
I mean, he doesn't deserve her.
328
00:20:39,500 --> 00:20:40,383
She's an angel.
329
00:20:42,330 --> 00:20:43,960
- Be that as it may, she's also
330
00:20:43,960 --> 00:20:45,230
a little bit out of your league.
331
00:20:45,230 --> 00:20:46,460
- Well I'm tired of hearing that.
332
00:20:46,460 --> 00:20:48,663
I'm sick of being out of her league.
333
00:20:51,760 --> 00:20:54,363
So tell me what I have to
do to win her affection.
334
00:21:00,100 --> 00:21:04,350
- Um, according to my recent
research on the female brain,
335
00:21:04,350 --> 00:21:06,880
they're mainly attracted to
three categories of a man,
336
00:21:06,880 --> 00:21:11,090
strength, sensitivity and romance.
337
00:21:11,090 --> 00:21:12,380
So let's get you better in those areas,
338
00:21:12,380 --> 00:21:14,790
and then you can approach Susie again.
339
00:21:14,790 --> 00:21:16,590
Hey, maybe this time
she'll finally see you
340
00:21:16,590 --> 00:21:17,940
as more than just a friend.
341
00:21:20,080 --> 00:21:21,860
- Do you really think that'll work?
342
00:21:21,860 --> 00:21:23,310
- What have you got to lose?
343
00:21:23,310 --> 00:21:26,271
- Time, money, health.
344
00:21:26,271 --> 00:21:28,320
(sniffling)
345
00:21:28,320 --> 00:21:29,350
My dignity.
346
00:21:29,350 --> 00:21:32,034
- It sounds like you're
in a relationship already.
347
00:21:32,034 --> 00:21:34,891
(laughing)
348
00:21:34,891 --> 00:21:36,293
- Sorry, sorry, Reily.
349
00:21:36,293 --> 00:21:37,126
- It's okay.
350
00:21:39,290 --> 00:21:41,510
- Yes, I'll do it, I'll do it.
351
00:21:41,510 --> 00:21:44,397
Okay, let's do it, no,
the high-five again.
352
00:21:44,397 --> 00:21:45,430
- [Reily] Yeah.
353
00:21:45,430 --> 00:21:46,263
- Awesome.
354
00:21:46,263 --> 00:21:49,253
- All right, what do I have
to do to make it happen?
355
00:21:50,480 --> 00:21:51,333
What's the plan?
356
00:21:53,024 --> 00:21:53,857
- Uh.
357
00:21:54,723 --> 00:21:58,390
(dramatic orchestral music)
358
00:22:00,136 --> 00:22:02,969
(door screeching)
359
00:22:04,250 --> 00:22:06,000
- Uh, hello.
360
00:22:06,000 --> 00:22:08,124
(groaning)
361
00:22:08,124 --> 00:22:11,624
(bright orchestral music)
362
00:22:12,650 --> 00:22:14,778
(shouting)
363
00:22:14,778 --> 00:22:16,171
Ma'am.
364
00:22:16,171 --> 00:22:18,421
(shouting)
365
00:22:21,678 --> 00:22:22,635
Uh, ma'am.
366
00:22:22,635 --> 00:22:24,885
(coughing)
367
00:22:25,833 --> 00:22:27,237
(bones cracking)
368
00:22:27,237 --> 00:22:29,261
A little bit busy, okay.
369
00:22:29,261 --> 00:22:31,511
(shouting)
370
00:22:35,712 --> 00:22:37,746
This is obviously a bad
time, so I'm just gonna go.
371
00:22:37,746 --> 00:22:38,750
(speaking foreign language)
372
00:22:38,750 --> 00:22:41,292
- You are the Marlo Lasker?
373
00:22:41,292 --> 00:22:44,670
- Uh, yes, yes, master sensei, sir, yes.
374
00:22:44,670 --> 00:22:48,553
My name is Marlo Lasker, my
friend Reily told me to stop by.
375
00:22:51,844 --> 00:22:54,094
(shouting)
376
00:22:56,090 --> 00:22:58,377
- My name Grand Master PooDuDuu.
377
00:23:00,446 --> 00:23:03,370
I came out of sandwich factory in Daegu.
378
00:23:06,347 --> 00:23:08,264
Me no like the mustard.
379
00:23:09,111 --> 00:23:10,173
- Me neither, sir.
380
00:23:11,050 --> 00:23:12,950
I'm allergic to mustard, so I hate it.
381
00:23:14,463 --> 00:23:18,130
(speaking foreign language)
382
00:23:24,119 --> 00:23:26,600
- Yes, Master Sensei, I
have swallowed insects
383
00:23:26,600 --> 00:23:28,340
before on multiple camping trips,
384
00:23:28,340 --> 00:23:31,313
but I've never had one go
up my, buddada, I think.
385
00:23:32,982 --> 00:23:34,132
- We make you stronger.
386
00:23:35,294 --> 00:23:36,294
Come, Marlo!
387
00:23:38,099 --> 00:23:41,053
(soft chiming music)
388
00:23:41,053 --> 00:23:43,645
(gong banging)
389
00:23:43,645 --> 00:23:46,562
(master muttering)
390
00:23:54,730 --> 00:23:56,063
- It's really hot in here.
391
00:23:58,679 --> 00:24:00,103
So, so warm.
392
00:24:03,550 --> 00:24:05,430
You seem really experienced.
393
00:24:05,430 --> 00:24:07,373
- 14 years.
394
00:24:08,950 --> 00:24:12,500
- Okay, is there anything
you'd be willing to teach me?
395
00:24:12,500 --> 00:24:13,623
- So much.
396
00:24:14,610 --> 00:24:16,240
Ah, yes.
397
00:24:16,240 --> 00:24:19,881
The shape-shifter tornado.
398
00:24:19,881 --> 00:24:21,714
- That sounds intense.
399
00:24:22,880 --> 00:24:24,093
- Watch and learn.
400
00:24:25,790 --> 00:24:27,171
(lightning striking)
401
00:24:27,171 --> 00:24:28,803
See, see it?
402
00:24:28,803 --> 00:24:30,098
- I see it.
403
00:24:30,098 --> 00:24:31,681
What is it exactly?
404
00:24:32,572 --> 00:24:33,562
Okay.
405
00:24:33,562 --> 00:24:34,590
(coughing)
406
00:24:34,590 --> 00:24:37,430
Something just went in my, my,
my body, what just happened?
407
00:24:37,430 --> 00:24:41,213
- It will serve you well
when you need it the most.
408
00:24:42,990 --> 00:24:43,823
- Got it.
409
00:24:46,010 --> 00:24:47,125
- Come on.
410
00:24:47,125 --> 00:24:49,130
(speaking foreign language)
411
00:24:49,130 --> 00:24:51,520
- You seem really focused?
412
00:24:52,920 --> 00:24:54,163
Hi, I'm Marlo.
413
00:24:55,010 --> 00:24:55,860
What's your name?
414
00:24:56,730 --> 00:24:58,903
- My name is Thong-teet.
415
00:25:00,370 --> 00:25:02,070
I don't have time to talk to nerd.
416
00:25:04,600 --> 00:25:05,503
- Sorry.
417
00:25:05,503 --> 00:25:08,272
(master muttering)
418
00:25:08,272 --> 00:25:12,164
(speaking foreign language)
419
00:25:12,164 --> 00:25:14,648
(soft dramatic music)
420
00:25:14,648 --> 00:25:18,565
(shouting in foreign language)
421
00:25:39,335 --> 00:25:42,502
(soft dramatic music)
422
00:25:44,135 --> 00:25:46,802
(choir singing)
423
00:25:50,613 --> 00:25:54,280
(speaking foreign language)
424
00:25:59,159 --> 00:26:01,492
(screaming)
425
00:26:03,557 --> 00:26:05,890
(screaming)
426
00:26:12,352 --> 00:26:14,602
(sniffing)
427
00:26:21,009 --> 00:26:23,259
(shouting)
428
00:26:33,277 --> 00:26:34,643
- For rising sun!
429
00:26:35,648 --> 00:26:37,898
(shouting)
430
00:26:40,136 --> 00:26:42,206
(passing gas)
431
00:26:42,206 --> 00:26:43,515
(fire burning)
432
00:26:43,515 --> 00:26:46,279
(shouting)
433
00:26:46,279 --> 00:26:48,612
(screaming)
434
00:26:55,243 --> 00:26:57,044
(shouting)
435
00:26:57,044 --> 00:26:58,377
Welcome to hell.
436
00:26:59,732 --> 00:27:01,982
(growling)
437
00:27:04,027 --> 00:27:05,659
Perfect.
438
00:27:05,659 --> 00:27:07,992
I fed Buta to my pet turtle.
439
00:27:09,220 --> 00:27:10,993
She died for honor.
440
00:27:12,938 --> 00:27:14,510
Marlo san!
441
00:27:14,510 --> 00:27:17,492
- Yes, yes, yes, master PooPoo.
442
00:27:17,492 --> 00:27:20,070
- Arise to the Enlightenment!
443
00:27:20,070 --> 00:27:22,060
- Um, no, I'm good, on second thought,
444
00:27:22,060 --> 00:27:23,752
you know, I think I'm just gonna,
445
00:27:23,752 --> 00:27:25,710
oh, all right.
446
00:27:25,710 --> 00:27:26,670
Master Pokemon,
447
00:27:26,670 --> 00:27:29,870
I think there's been a
major misunderstanding.
448
00:27:29,870 --> 00:27:32,670
I was trying to explain to
Thong-teet that, well, basically,
449
00:27:32,670 --> 00:27:35,080
I only took this course
to become stronger,
450
00:27:35,080 --> 00:27:37,050
because you see, there's
this girl I really like.
451
00:27:37,050 --> 00:27:40,662
- You must face your ultimate fear!
452
00:27:40,662 --> 00:27:41,603
(speaking foreign language)
453
00:27:41,603 --> 00:27:43,740
- Grand master, please now listen,
454
00:27:43,740 --> 00:27:45,990
my pheromones are rising
at an accelerated rate,
455
00:27:45,990 --> 00:27:47,230
my muscles are spasming.
456
00:27:47,230 --> 00:27:49,750
I suffer from a rare hormonal imbalance.
457
00:27:49,750 --> 00:27:50,583
I've been to a number of physicians.
458
00:27:50,583 --> 00:27:52,447
- We have no doctor in Daegu!
459
00:27:52,447 --> 00:27:53,614
You fight now!
460
00:27:55,012 --> 00:27:57,030
Become stronger, Marlo!
461
00:27:57,030 --> 00:27:57,863
- Do it, nerd.
462
00:27:57,863 --> 00:27:59,643
- You get big penis muscle!
463
00:27:59,643 --> 00:28:01,190
- It's my first day, sensei, please.
464
00:28:01,190 --> 00:28:02,557
- Stop being such a bitch.
465
00:28:02,557 --> 00:28:03,903
- You are my student!
466
00:28:03,903 --> 00:28:06,023
- Oh, I'm starting to--
467
00:28:06,023 --> 00:28:07,765
- Obey me or die!
468
00:28:07,765 --> 00:28:10,300
- Ho, I need Benadryl,
does anyone have Benadryl?
469
00:28:10,300 --> 00:28:14,127
- You must face you ultimate
fear, samurai warrior!
470
00:28:15,483 --> 00:28:17,221
- Grand master, no, please.
471
00:28:17,221 --> 00:28:20,641
Does anyone have Flonase or Benadryl?
472
00:28:20,641 --> 00:28:21,920
(shouting in foreign language)
473
00:28:21,920 --> 00:28:24,692
- Master PooDuDuu, you are the king.
474
00:28:24,692 --> 00:28:26,210
(master shouting in foreign language)
475
00:28:26,210 --> 00:28:27,701
- My allergies are too strong.
476
00:28:27,701 --> 00:28:30,777
(shouting)
477
00:28:30,777 --> 00:28:34,053
(passing gas)
478
00:28:34,053 --> 00:28:36,320
(sneezing)
479
00:28:36,320 --> 00:28:38,653
(screaming)
480
00:28:42,545 --> 00:28:46,212
(dramatic orchestral music)
481
00:28:48,912 --> 00:28:51,566
(wood breaking)
482
00:28:51,566 --> 00:28:53,899
(shrieking)
483
00:29:02,270 --> 00:29:04,623
- This would have come
in handy twice today.
484
00:29:07,200 --> 00:29:10,380
Safety, right, Thong-teet?
485
00:29:10,380 --> 00:29:12,403
- You are orange idiot.
486
00:29:16,657 --> 00:29:19,740
(sneakers squeaking)
487
00:29:25,722 --> 00:29:28,320
- [Marlo] Do you mind if I keep these, or?
488
00:29:28,320 --> 00:29:30,373
- Take it and get out.
489
00:29:31,762 --> 00:29:34,929
(soft dramatic music)
490
00:29:39,488 --> 00:29:41,980
(Marlo exhaling)
491
00:29:41,980 --> 00:29:44,463
- So, tell me about yourself.
492
00:29:45,420 --> 00:29:48,887
- Well, you know, I like cheese and chess,
493
00:29:48,887 --> 00:29:51,780
and I have a doggy named Alfie.
494
00:29:51,780 --> 00:29:52,803
He's Italian.
495
00:29:53,720 --> 00:29:54,553
- Uh-huh.
496
00:29:57,220 --> 00:29:59,520
And what about your parents, Marlo?
497
00:29:59,520 --> 00:30:01,110
Tell me about them.
498
00:30:01,110 --> 00:30:03,890
- Actually, my parents were
killed in a helicopter accident
499
00:30:03,890 --> 00:30:06,113
that involved pink
sheep and a can of Spam.
500
00:30:08,230 --> 00:30:11,860
It happened on a Sunday,
so it was the Sabbath.
501
00:30:11,860 --> 00:30:12,693
- I see.
502
00:30:14,310 --> 00:30:17,090
All right, Marlo, what
brings you in today?
503
00:30:17,090 --> 00:30:19,570
- Well, Miss Shaquanda,
I was actually hoping
504
00:30:19,570 --> 00:30:21,640
that maybe you could teach me how to be
505
00:30:21,640 --> 00:30:24,563
more sensitive to a woman's needs.
506
00:30:26,990 --> 00:30:27,940
- What did you say?
507
00:30:29,537 --> 00:30:32,940
- How to become more sensitive to a woman.
508
00:30:32,940 --> 00:30:35,293
Because, you see,
there's this girl, Susie.
509
00:30:35,293 --> 00:30:39,150
- Wait, wait, wait, you mean to tell me
510
00:30:39,150 --> 00:30:43,340
that you're willing to pay $125 an hour
511
00:30:43,340 --> 00:30:45,600
because you genuinely wanna learn
512
00:30:45,600 --> 00:30:47,543
how to be more sensitive to a woman?
513
00:30:48,943 --> 00:30:51,393
- I'm sorry, did you say $125 an hour?
514
00:30:53,553 --> 00:30:56,380
I'm not really sure that
I have that kinda cash.
515
00:30:56,380 --> 00:30:59,590
I must have read it wrong
on the website, I apologize.
516
00:30:59,590 --> 00:31:01,840
I tutor, but I'm just a nerd.
517
00:31:01,840 --> 00:31:03,783
So I don't (unzips bag), I don't know.
518
00:31:04,760 --> 00:31:05,593
- Nerd?
519
00:31:07,330 --> 00:31:09,250
Well I'm sure there are other ways
520
00:31:09,250 --> 00:31:11,200
you can pay for our session, young man.
521
00:31:14,380 --> 00:31:15,328
- What do?
522
00:31:15,328 --> 00:31:17,344
(record scratching)
523
00:31:17,344 --> 00:31:19,710
Okay, did you want me
to teach you how to do
524
00:31:19,710 --> 00:31:21,930
a four-move checkmate, or--
525
00:31:21,930 --> 00:31:23,263
- Chess?
526
00:31:23,263 --> 00:31:24,807
Oh yes, I want you to let
527
00:31:24,807 --> 00:31:27,505
my castle sit on your bishop.
528
00:31:27,505 --> 00:31:29,270
(grunting)
529
00:31:29,270 --> 00:31:31,280
- I can teach you how to like rook a king,
530
00:31:31,280 --> 00:31:33,280
if you want, or something, I mean.
531
00:31:33,280 --> 00:31:35,893
- Oh yes, show me that king baby.
532
00:31:36,801 --> 00:31:37,634
(Marlo shouting)
533
00:31:37,634 --> 00:31:39,850
Oh you're so cute, I love nerds.
534
00:31:39,850 --> 00:31:41,423
Give me that pocket protector.
535
00:31:41,423 --> 00:31:44,950
Oh, oh, those nut huggers, geez.
536
00:31:44,950 --> 00:31:47,050
I wanna party in your fanny pack.
537
00:31:47,950 --> 00:31:50,402
I wanna squeeze your little nerd cheeks.
538
00:31:50,402 --> 00:31:52,985
(both moaning)
539
00:31:54,524 --> 00:31:55,766
Oh yes.
540
00:31:55,766 --> 00:31:57,485
- Shaquanda, what is happening?
541
00:31:57,485 --> 00:31:58,800
- Oh yes.
542
00:31:58,800 --> 00:31:59,940
You like that?
543
00:31:59,940 --> 00:32:01,410
Take me.
544
00:32:01,410 --> 00:32:03,343
Take me, you stupid nerd, take me.
545
00:32:04,264 --> 00:32:06,413
(both moaning)
546
00:32:06,413 --> 00:32:07,663
Oh do it, baby.
547
00:32:08,595 --> 00:32:09,845
Oh yes, oh yes.
548
00:32:11,272 --> 00:32:14,272
(Shaquanda moaning)
549
00:32:16,118 --> 00:32:16,951
Checkmate.
550
00:32:18,111 --> 00:32:20,278
(moaning)
551
00:32:21,468 --> 00:32:24,968
(bright orchestral music)
552
00:32:35,253 --> 00:32:36,211
- Ho ho.
553
00:32:36,211 --> 00:32:39,198
(bright ringtone ringing)
554
00:32:39,198 --> 00:32:40,031
Hi, Reily.
555
00:32:40,031 --> 00:32:41,520
- Hey, so how was therapy?
556
00:32:41,520 --> 00:32:43,990
- Well I think Miss
Shaquanda is a lovely woman
557
00:32:43,990 --> 00:32:46,440
and extremely powerful, I
mean, I didn't even know
558
00:32:46,440 --> 00:32:47,750
the human pinkie could do that.
559
00:32:47,750 --> 00:32:50,770
But, you know, I just, I don't
think it's gonna work out
560
00:32:50,770 --> 00:32:52,260
for me on a regular basis.
561
00:32:52,260 --> 00:32:55,300
Plus, my pants are so
tight and I'm not sure why.
562
00:32:55,300 --> 00:32:57,110
- Marlo, you have to
approach this experience
563
00:32:57,110 --> 00:32:59,220
with an open mind, otherwise
it's not gonna work.
564
00:32:59,220 --> 00:33:01,130
You wanna date, Susie, correct?
565
00:33:01,130 --> 00:33:02,590
- Well, I mean, of course
I wanna date her, yeah,
566
00:33:02,590 --> 00:33:04,580
but I just think I've done enough today.
567
00:33:04,580 --> 00:33:06,340
- Hey, I used my online
Starcraft contacts to get you
568
00:33:06,340 --> 00:33:07,708
into that Shakespeare
class, so you're going.
569
00:33:07,708 --> 00:33:09,750
- But, Reily, I just, I just--
570
00:33:09,750 --> 00:33:12,700
- Marlo, you have to learn how
to romantically woo a woman.
571
00:33:12,700 --> 00:33:13,820
So get to it.
572
00:33:13,820 --> 00:33:15,885
Carpe diem, mi amigo.
573
00:33:15,885 --> 00:33:17,760
(phone beeping)
574
00:33:17,760 --> 00:33:20,840
Okay, this is getting a
little bit out of control now.
575
00:33:20,840 --> 00:33:23,690
Maybe direct sunlight wasn't a good idea.
576
00:33:23,690 --> 00:33:25,230
Maybe it was too much soil.
577
00:33:25,230 --> 00:33:28,390
Yeah, too much nutrients,
it's like on steroids.
578
00:33:28,390 --> 00:33:29,223
Steroids?
579
00:33:30,690 --> 00:33:32,600
- Well, I don't suppose
it could be any worse
580
00:33:32,600 --> 00:33:34,377
than karate or therapy?
581
00:33:34,377 --> 00:33:35,627
Come on, Alfie.
582
00:33:36,900 --> 00:33:37,967
Hey, Mister.
583
00:33:37,967 --> 00:33:40,659
(bright orchestral music)
584
00:33:40,659 --> 00:33:41,660
(spits)
585
00:33:41,660 --> 00:33:43,410
- What are you, following me, nerd?
586
00:33:47,160 --> 00:33:48,610
- I know what you want.
587
00:33:51,532 --> 00:33:54,002
(cash register ringing)
588
00:33:54,002 --> 00:33:54,835
(spitting)
589
00:33:54,835 --> 00:33:57,123
- Keep your stupid quarter, nerd.
590
00:33:58,000 --> 00:33:58,833
Nerd!
591
00:34:01,153 --> 00:34:05,549
Two quarters.
592
00:34:05,549 --> 00:34:06,632
Two quarters.
593
00:34:11,868 --> 00:34:12,951
Two quarters.
594
00:34:14,993 --> 00:34:16,915
(thudding)
(groaning)
595
00:34:16,915 --> 00:34:18,498
That freaking nerd!
596
00:34:21,179 --> 00:34:22,275
(growling)
597
00:34:22,275 --> 00:34:23,858
That freaking nerd!
598
00:34:24,817 --> 00:34:28,470
(audience applauding)
599
00:34:28,470 --> 00:34:30,320
- When one is performing Shakespeare,
600
00:34:31,270 --> 00:34:33,223
you must do it with full commitment.
601
00:34:34,360 --> 00:34:38,250
For Dionysus is watching,
and unless you want
602
00:34:38,250 --> 00:34:41,860
Lee Strasberg to emerge from his grave
603
00:34:41,860 --> 00:34:46,190
and rip off your genitalia,
your bloody testicles,
604
00:34:46,190 --> 00:34:50,180
you had better be as
dedicated as Bruce Jenner.
605
00:34:50,180 --> 00:34:51,383
- It's Caitlyn.
606
00:34:52,890 --> 00:34:54,570
- Do I make myself clear?
607
00:34:54,570 --> 00:34:56,870
- [Group] Yes, Professor Caine.
608
00:34:56,870 --> 00:34:57,935
- Good.
609
00:34:57,935 --> 00:35:00,540
Now let us have two new
young lovers up here
610
00:35:00,540 --> 00:35:02,333
to discover truth.
611
00:35:05,633 --> 00:35:08,216
(door closing)
612
00:35:09,180 --> 00:35:10,013
You there.
613
00:35:11,018 --> 00:35:12,060
(gasping)
614
00:35:12,060 --> 00:35:13,010
What's your name?
615
00:35:14,457 --> 00:35:18,220
- Um, uh, Lasker, Marlo Lasker, sir.
616
00:35:18,220 --> 00:35:19,640
- Fantastic, all right then,
617
00:35:19,640 --> 00:35:24,267
up you come, my little orange
thespian, onto the stage.
618
00:35:24,267 --> 00:35:25,417
And who shall join him?
619
00:35:27,000 --> 00:35:27,833
- Kimberly.
620
00:35:29,075 --> 00:35:31,072
(audience whistling)
621
00:35:31,072 --> 00:35:32,120
- All the way up.
622
00:35:32,120 --> 00:35:35,537
(light orchestral music)
623
00:35:37,152 --> 00:35:37,985
- [Carl] Nerd!
624
00:35:37,985 --> 00:35:38,887
- All right, that's enough, now.
625
00:35:38,887 --> 00:35:40,520
- I like your shirt, nerd.
626
00:35:40,520 --> 00:35:41,513
- That's enough.
627
00:35:42,750 --> 00:35:45,033
So let us dive right into one of the most
628
00:35:45,033 --> 00:35:46,913
famous scenes of all time.
629
00:35:48,050 --> 00:35:50,210
- You mean like in the Godfather?
630
00:35:50,210 --> 00:35:53,010
Al Pacino and Marlon Brando?
631
00:35:53,010 --> 00:35:55,500
- I want your shirt, nerd.
632
00:35:55,500 --> 00:35:58,760
- We are referring to
the classic balcony scene
633
00:35:58,760 --> 00:36:01,121
from Romeo and Juliet.
634
00:36:01,121 --> 00:36:02,190
- Oh.
635
00:36:02,190 --> 00:36:03,813
No, uh, in that case I probably shouldn't
636
00:36:03,813 --> 00:36:05,700
because I have a slight fear of heights.
637
00:36:05,700 --> 00:36:07,053
- Nonsense, Marlo.
638
00:36:08,590 --> 00:36:13,270
You must be courageous,
and show young Juliet
639
00:36:13,270 --> 00:36:16,463
that your love can scale
the highest mountains.
640
00:36:17,860 --> 00:36:20,465
Now let us simply use
the stage for our set.
641
00:36:20,465 --> 00:36:22,367
Now take her hand.
642
00:36:22,367 --> 00:36:24,607
Go on, take her hand.
643
00:36:24,607 --> 00:36:25,614
There you go.
644
00:36:25,614 --> 00:36:29,031
(light orchestral music)
645
00:36:31,282 --> 00:36:32,115
- Oh.
646
00:36:32,115 --> 00:36:33,630
What do I do now?
647
00:36:33,630 --> 00:36:35,750
- The scene, of course.
648
00:36:35,750 --> 00:36:36,583
Action!
649
00:36:37,630 --> 00:36:41,990
- Good pilgrim, you do
wrong your hand too much.
650
00:36:41,990 --> 00:36:44,423
Which mannerly devotion shows in this?
651
00:36:45,640 --> 00:36:49,173
For saints have hands, but
pilgrims' hands do touch.
652
00:36:50,250 --> 00:36:54,414
And palm to palm is Holy Palmer's kiss.
653
00:36:54,414 --> 00:36:57,581
(audience applauding)
654
00:36:59,721 --> 00:37:00,554
- Um.
655
00:37:02,160 --> 00:37:03,300
She's epic.
656
00:37:03,300 --> 00:37:06,123
Um, so, are we done?
657
00:37:07,180 --> 00:37:09,420
- Do you not know the lines, Marlo?
658
00:37:09,420 --> 00:37:10,993
- No, sorry.
659
00:37:11,843 --> 00:37:13,483
It's my first day, so,
660
00:37:14,740 --> 00:37:15,573
my bad.
661
00:37:18,760 --> 00:37:19,890
- There you go.
662
00:37:19,890 --> 00:37:20,747
- Thank you.
663
00:37:22,656 --> 00:37:25,430
Ahem, have not saint's lips on your face
664
00:37:25,430 --> 00:37:27,170
and Holy Palmer's too.
665
00:37:27,170 --> 00:37:30,500
Oh then, dear saint, let your
dry lips do what hands do.
666
00:37:30,500 --> 00:37:32,790
But probably not sexually, they probably,
667
00:37:32,790 --> 00:37:35,890
I mean, I don't want you to
be offended or anything, so.
668
00:37:35,890 --> 00:37:38,655
- Nigel, he skipped my line.
669
00:37:38,655 --> 00:37:40,532
(audience groaning)
670
00:37:40,532 --> 00:37:43,580
- Marlo, you must relax.
671
00:37:43,580 --> 00:37:46,000
And you need to understand that you need
672
00:37:46,000 --> 00:37:47,613
to romance young Juliet.
673
00:37:48,500 --> 00:37:51,540
Therefore, be centered and calm.
674
00:37:51,540 --> 00:37:52,930
- But how do I do it?
675
00:37:52,930 --> 00:37:54,800
What's the process?
676
00:37:54,800 --> 00:37:58,024
- This time, when you read
your text with Kimberly,
677
00:37:58,024 --> 00:38:00,113
imagine a beautiful waterfall.
678
00:38:01,712 --> 00:38:04,723
Or something else that makes
you happy and at peace.
679
00:38:06,050 --> 00:38:07,550
- You mean like Preparation H?
680
00:38:16,819 --> 00:38:19,152
- Preparation H it is, then.
681
00:38:28,240 --> 00:38:32,260
- Saints do not move, though
grant for prayer's sake.
682
00:38:33,842 --> 00:38:36,800
(Marlo coughing)
683
00:38:36,800 --> 00:38:40,273
- Then move not while my
prayer's effect I take.
684
00:38:41,630 --> 00:38:45,443
Thus from my lips by yours.
685
00:38:46,850 --> 00:38:48,427
My sin is purged.
686
00:39:01,437 --> 00:39:02,645
Ah.
687
00:39:02,645 --> 00:39:03,478
- Ew.
688
00:39:03,478 --> 00:39:05,173
(cries)
689
00:39:05,173 --> 00:39:07,863
(audience groaning)
690
00:39:07,863 --> 00:39:08,863
- Seriously?
691
00:39:11,562 --> 00:39:13,184
(gasping)
692
00:39:13,184 --> 00:39:14,017
- Ah.
693
00:39:15,261 --> 00:39:16,094
Uh.
694
00:39:18,090 --> 00:39:19,243
- Marlo, perhaps,
695
00:39:20,630 --> 00:39:22,610
perhaps you're a little too relaxed.
696
00:39:22,610 --> 00:39:23,443
- Yeah.
697
00:39:24,680 --> 00:39:25,860
Maybe.
698
00:39:25,860 --> 00:39:29,470
- Were you thinking about Preparation H?
699
00:39:29,470 --> 00:39:30,303
- No.
700
00:39:31,960 --> 00:39:32,793
Root beer.
701
00:39:34,610 --> 00:39:35,694
- I see.
702
00:39:35,694 --> 00:39:39,903
(upbeat orchestral music)
703
00:39:39,903 --> 00:39:42,986
(sneakers squeaking)
704
00:39:45,471 --> 00:39:48,574
- Oh, for God sakes, class dismissed!
705
00:39:48,574 --> 00:39:49,777
- [Student] Nerd.
706
00:39:49,777 --> 00:39:52,610
(traffic passing)
707
00:39:53,829 --> 00:39:57,329
(bright ringtone ringing)
708
00:39:58,218 --> 00:40:00,320
(Marlo sighing)
709
00:40:00,320 --> 00:40:02,523
(phone beeping)
710
00:40:02,523 --> 00:40:05,408
(upbeat ringtone ringing)
711
00:40:05,408 --> 00:40:07,600
(gasping)
712
00:40:07,600 --> 00:40:10,037
- Susie, hi, yeah,
listen, I'm really sorry.
713
00:40:10,037 --> 00:40:12,330
I'm on my way, I just gotta run home
714
00:40:12,330 --> 00:40:14,130
real quick and change my pants.
715
00:40:14,130 --> 00:40:14,963
- Marlo.
716
00:40:14,963 --> 00:40:15,796
- [Marlo] And I'll be over for our
717
00:40:15,796 --> 00:40:17,400
science tutoring in a flash.
718
00:40:17,400 --> 00:40:19,430
- Marlo, stop talking.
719
00:40:19,430 --> 00:40:21,320
Don't come over tonight.
720
00:40:21,320 --> 00:40:22,610
In fact, I don't think we should do
721
00:40:22,610 --> 00:40:24,250
any more tutoring either.
722
00:40:24,250 --> 00:40:25,529
- What do you mean?
723
00:40:25,529 --> 00:40:27,830
- It's just, I think it's best
724
00:40:27,830 --> 00:40:30,530
we don't see each other anymore.
725
00:40:30,530 --> 00:40:31,910
Not even as friends.
726
00:40:31,910 --> 00:40:34,590
- But, Susie, I wanted to explain.
727
00:40:34,590 --> 00:40:35,700
- Goodbye, Marlo.
728
00:40:35,700 --> 00:40:36,533
- [Marlo] Susie!
729
00:40:36,533 --> 00:40:38,363
- I'm sorry, goodbye.
730
00:40:39,450 --> 00:40:40,283
- Wait.
731
00:40:41,491 --> 00:40:44,460
(phone beeping)
732
00:40:44,460 --> 00:40:45,293
- Good job.
733
00:40:46,180 --> 00:40:47,280
You'll thank me later.
734
00:40:48,258 --> 00:40:51,425
(soft dramatic music)
735
00:40:55,500 --> 00:40:57,613
Hey, I'm gonna go to
Chuck's to drink a few.
736
00:40:58,534 --> 00:41:01,170
- But you said we were gonna
watch a movie together.
737
00:41:01,170 --> 00:41:02,800
- I'll see you later.
738
00:41:02,800 --> 00:41:04,546
- But it's date night.
739
00:41:04,546 --> 00:41:05,379
- Later.
740
00:41:11,389 --> 00:41:13,972
(Susie crying)
741
00:41:28,260 --> 00:41:30,843
(Susie crying)
742
00:41:57,818 --> 00:42:00,401
(Susie crying)
743
00:42:11,427 --> 00:42:14,260
(seagull calling)
744
00:42:15,422 --> 00:42:18,437
(soft dramatic music)
745
00:42:18,437 --> 00:42:22,770
(choir singing in foreign language)
746
00:43:08,733 --> 00:43:11,805
(Marlo sighing)
747
00:43:11,805 --> 00:43:12,638
- God,
748
00:43:14,840 --> 00:43:18,813
please make me normal
so Susie will like me.
749
00:43:22,430 --> 00:43:24,310
- [Pastor] We've all
been made in his image
750
00:43:24,310 --> 00:43:26,433
young man, even you.
751
00:43:28,260 --> 00:43:31,730
- I'm so sorry, sir, I didn't
know anyone else was here.
752
00:43:31,730 --> 00:43:33,453
- Please, call me Pastor King.
753
00:43:34,640 --> 00:43:38,023
Now, what seems to be
the problem, young man?
754
00:43:39,780 --> 00:43:41,853
- Well, all right, Pastor King,
755
00:43:43,740 --> 00:43:47,223
I've been in love with a girl
named Susie for months now,
756
00:43:49,170 --> 00:43:50,493
but she's dating Caleb.
757
00:43:52,942 --> 00:43:54,300
And since he's a jock and
758
00:43:56,810 --> 00:43:57,833
I'm a nerd,
759
00:44:00,470 --> 00:44:01,303
that's that.
760
00:44:02,740 --> 00:44:06,240
- Sometimes we need to
increase the faith in ourselves
761
00:44:06,240 --> 00:44:08,190
in order to have the confidence
762
00:44:08,190 --> 00:44:10,270
for a loving relationship such as this.
763
00:44:10,270 --> 00:44:12,890
- But I have, Pastor King, I really have.
764
00:44:12,890 --> 00:44:15,360
I mean, I battled a drunken karate master,
765
00:44:15,360 --> 00:44:17,560
I got sexually assaulted by a therapist,
766
00:44:17,560 --> 00:44:19,910
I even urinated in a public theater.
767
00:44:19,910 --> 00:44:21,230
- Don't you pee in my church.
768
00:44:21,230 --> 00:44:24,229
- Yes, I mean no.
769
00:44:24,229 --> 00:44:25,100
I won't.
770
00:44:25,100 --> 00:44:27,023
- This is new carpet.
771
00:44:28,230 --> 00:44:32,730
- It looks lovely, very soft.
772
00:44:32,730 --> 00:44:35,633
- Mm-hmm, oh yeah, it is.
773
00:44:36,550 --> 00:44:37,513
Very soft.
774
00:44:40,721 --> 00:44:43,471
(Pastor humming)
775
00:44:51,220 --> 00:44:54,790
- So, do you have any suggestions
776
00:44:54,790 --> 00:44:57,113
on becoming a normal person?
777
00:44:58,452 --> 00:44:59,870
(exhaling)
778
00:44:59,870 --> 00:45:02,060
- What you must understand, my son,
779
00:45:02,060 --> 00:45:05,960
is that God made you
exactly how you need to be,
780
00:45:05,960 --> 00:45:07,543
exactly how you are.
781
00:45:08,720 --> 00:45:12,363
And that there's no such thing as, normal.
782
00:45:15,700 --> 00:45:17,033
So rejoice in this.
783
00:45:17,033 --> 00:45:18,950
(chuckles)
784
00:45:18,950 --> 00:45:21,130
- Wait, what about becoming stronger
785
00:45:21,130 --> 00:45:25,030
and more sensitive and more romantic?
786
00:45:25,030 --> 00:45:27,550
- All of this is within you.
787
00:45:27,550 --> 00:45:31,193
Search your heart and
find the inner truth.
788
00:45:33,340 --> 00:45:34,173
- You're right.
789
00:45:35,800 --> 00:45:37,640
You're right, Pastor King!
790
00:45:37,640 --> 00:45:41,160
Oh you're a genius, thanks
a ton for cheering me up!
791
00:45:41,160 --> 00:45:42,188
- No problem.
792
00:45:42,188 --> 00:45:43,105
- Oh, yeah.
793
00:45:44,330 --> 00:45:47,473
- And don't forget to tithe,
as God rewards those who do so.
794
00:45:48,340 --> 00:45:49,623
- Oh, uh, uh.
795
00:45:54,749 --> 00:45:57,416
(Marlo licking)
796
00:45:58,972 --> 00:46:01,557
(cash register ringing)
797
00:46:01,557 --> 00:46:05,350
(Pastor clearing throat)
798
00:46:05,350 --> 00:46:06,183
- Um.
799
00:46:07,040 --> 00:46:08,890
See what else I have.
800
00:46:14,890 --> 00:46:18,130
- The church accepts
donations that jingle,
801
00:46:18,130 --> 00:46:20,263
but we'd rather have the kind that folds.
802
00:46:22,579 --> 00:46:24,153
- Oh.
803
00:46:26,900 --> 00:46:28,223
- Thank you.
804
00:46:28,223 --> 00:46:30,490
- I'm confused, I thought
the church received
805
00:46:30,490 --> 00:46:32,880
most of their donations on Sundays.
806
00:46:32,880 --> 00:46:34,310
- And only get paid once a week?
807
00:46:34,310 --> 00:46:35,673
Ain't nobody got time for that.
808
00:46:35,673 --> 00:46:36,676
(phone beeping)
809
00:46:36,676 --> 00:46:37,799
What's up, now?
810
00:46:37,799 --> 00:46:38,632
You see that game?
811
00:46:38,632 --> 00:46:40,195
Last two minutes was a killer.
812
00:46:40,195 --> 00:46:42,258
Cleveland, Believe Land.
813
00:46:42,258 --> 00:46:43,786
That's why they call him the King.
814
00:46:43,786 --> 00:46:46,586
(door opening and closing)
815
00:46:46,586 --> 00:46:47,770
(gasping)
816
00:46:47,770 --> 00:46:48,828
- Susie!
817
00:46:48,828 --> 00:46:52,495
(dramatic orchestral music)
818
00:46:53,341 --> 00:46:56,091
(Marlo thudding)
819
00:47:00,461 --> 00:47:04,521
(door closing)
(dramatic orchestral music)
820
00:47:04,521 --> 00:47:07,854
(train whistle blowing)
821
00:47:19,373 --> 00:47:22,873
(bright orchestral music)
822
00:47:37,309 --> 00:47:38,142
Susie.
823
00:47:40,621 --> 00:47:41,454
Susie.
824
00:47:41,454 --> 00:47:42,447
- [Roger] I'm not washing
these dishes again.
825
00:47:42,447 --> 00:47:45,280
- [Woman] Well hell if I
am, you need to do them.
826
00:47:45,280 --> 00:47:46,113
- Susie.
827
00:47:51,135 --> 00:47:52,270
Susie.
828
00:47:52,270 --> 00:47:53,720
- [Woman] Just do them, do
the damn dishes, please.
829
00:47:53,720 --> 00:47:55,370
- [Roger] Don't you use my
first name in this house.
830
00:47:55,370 --> 00:47:56,223
I'm a Baptist.
831
00:48:04,455 --> 00:48:05,410
- [Woman] Roger, this stems back
832
00:48:05,410 --> 00:48:06,260
to your childhood, don't it?
833
00:48:06,260 --> 00:48:08,608
- [Roger] Don't you dare
bring up my mother again.
834
00:48:08,608 --> 00:48:10,358
- [Woman] Oh come on.
835
00:48:14,551 --> 00:48:17,417
(glass shattering)
(Susie shrieking)
836
00:48:17,417 --> 00:48:18,250
- Oh.
837
00:48:20,482 --> 00:48:21,399
- What the?
838
00:48:31,396 --> 00:48:33,250
- [Marlo] Susie.
839
00:48:33,250 --> 00:48:34,083
Susie.
840
00:48:37,044 --> 00:48:39,240
(exhaling)
841
00:48:39,240 --> 00:48:40,130
- Marlo?
842
00:48:40,130 --> 00:48:40,963
- Ha.
843
00:48:42,610 --> 00:48:44,570
- What the heck are you doing here,
844
00:48:44,570 --> 00:48:46,510
and why did you break my window?
845
00:48:46,510 --> 00:48:47,860
You could have just called.
846
00:48:49,260 --> 00:48:51,420
- Sorry, I had no cellphone service.
847
00:48:51,420 --> 00:48:53,763
It's probably related
to their 53% stock loss.
848
00:48:55,610 --> 00:48:56,443
I have Sprint.
849
00:48:59,260 --> 00:49:02,160
Susie, I have something
very important to tell you.
850
00:49:02,160 --> 00:49:04,142
- Okay, what is it?
851
00:49:04,142 --> 00:49:09,142
(Marlo clearing throat and vocalizing)
852
00:49:09,490 --> 00:49:12,790
- But soft, what light
through yonder window breaks?
853
00:49:12,790 --> 00:49:14,070
But hopefully not shatters.
854
00:49:14,070 --> 00:49:18,510
It is the east, and Juliet
is the sun, looking badass.
855
00:49:18,510 --> 00:49:20,490
Probably a main sequence G2 star,
856
00:49:20,490 --> 00:49:22,400
like in our own solar system.
857
00:49:22,400 --> 00:49:23,488
More than likely.
858
00:49:23,488 --> 00:49:24,400
(chuckling)
859
00:49:24,400 --> 00:49:25,693
It's pretty intense.
860
00:49:27,470 --> 00:49:30,780
Ahem, arise fair sun and
kill thy envious moon,
861
00:49:30,780 --> 00:49:33,630
for she is already pale
and sick with grief
862
00:49:33,630 --> 00:49:36,920
that thou, her maid, are
far more fairer than she.
863
00:49:36,920 --> 00:49:40,330
Probably related to age degeneration
864
00:49:40,330 --> 00:49:43,950
and a lack of moisture and lotions.
865
00:49:43,950 --> 00:49:44,783
Um.
866
00:49:46,010 --> 00:49:48,130
All right, that was close.
867
00:49:48,130 --> 00:49:51,123
Well that's pretty much all
I have memorized so far, so.
868
00:49:52,250 --> 00:49:53,173
What do you think?
869
00:49:54,950 --> 00:49:56,420
- I think you're a dead man.
870
00:49:56,420 --> 00:49:58,083
(suspenseful orchestral music)
871
00:49:58,083 --> 00:49:59,205
(Marlo gasping)
872
00:49:59,205 --> 00:50:00,038
- Caleb!
873
00:50:03,136 --> 00:50:05,803
(Marlo gasping)
874
00:50:07,624 --> 00:50:09,793
(Caleb laughing)
875
00:50:09,793 --> 00:50:12,022
(Marlo groaning)
876
00:50:12,022 --> 00:50:13,395
- What did I say, huh?
877
00:50:13,395 --> 00:50:15,100
I said stay away from my girl or I'd--
878
00:50:15,100 --> 00:50:17,100
- You'd kill me, you said you'd kill me.
879
00:50:17,995 --> 00:50:19,703
- So you geeks can hear after all, huh?
880
00:50:19,703 --> 00:50:20,597
A nerd and a smartass.
881
00:50:20,597 --> 00:50:21,430
(groaning)
882
00:50:21,430 --> 00:50:23,283
- Stop it, Caleb, let him go!
883
00:50:24,177 --> 00:50:26,344
(gasping)
884
00:50:27,497 --> 00:50:29,900
- Quiet, woman, I wanna enjoy this.
885
00:50:29,900 --> 00:50:31,613
- Just leave him alone, okay.
886
00:50:31,613 --> 00:50:33,500
- He's not right for you, Susie.
887
00:50:33,500 --> 00:50:34,560
I'm not gonna let some nerd
888
00:50:34,560 --> 00:50:35,998
hit on what clearly belongs to me.
889
00:50:35,998 --> 00:50:37,580
- Belongs to you?
890
00:50:37,580 --> 00:50:41,310
- He's right, Susie, I'm sorry.
891
00:50:41,310 --> 00:50:43,360
I never should have tried to ask you out.
892
00:50:44,470 --> 00:50:45,493
- Ask me out?
893
00:50:47,760 --> 00:50:48,730
(laughing)
894
00:50:48,730 --> 00:50:50,699
- You both are pathetic.
895
00:50:50,699 --> 00:50:51,590
(spits)
896
00:50:51,590 --> 00:50:52,880
Beat it, loser.
897
00:50:52,880 --> 00:50:55,680
Or the next time I see you
will be your last, I promise.
898
00:50:56,680 --> 00:50:58,220
- Marlo.
- Let's go, babe.
899
00:50:58,220 --> 00:51:00,080
- No, no, Caleb.
900
00:51:00,080 --> 00:51:02,000
I'm not going anywhere with you.
901
00:51:02,000 --> 00:51:03,180
You're drunk.
902
00:51:03,180 --> 00:51:04,013
- Come on.
903
00:51:04,013 --> 00:51:05,140
- No, Marlo.
904
00:51:05,140 --> 00:51:07,420
Marlo, wait, let me go.
905
00:51:07,420 --> 00:51:09,140
No, Marlo, wait.
906
00:51:09,140 --> 00:51:10,170
Marlo, help.
907
00:51:10,170 --> 00:51:12,102
No, let me go.
908
00:51:12,102 --> 00:51:13,900
Marlo, help.
909
00:51:13,900 --> 00:51:15,180
Please, help.
910
00:51:15,180 --> 00:51:16,023
Let me go.
911
00:51:16,920 --> 00:51:19,199
Marlo, help, let me go.
912
00:51:19,199 --> 00:51:20,750
No, I said no.
913
00:51:20,750 --> 00:51:21,660
- We're going home.
914
00:51:21,660 --> 00:51:24,313
- No, let me go, you big jerk, I said no!
915
00:51:28,438 --> 00:51:31,271
(Susie shrieking)
916
00:51:32,543 --> 00:51:34,550
(Marlo exhaling)
917
00:51:34,550 --> 00:51:35,613
What are you doing?
918
00:51:37,140 --> 00:51:38,353
- [Caleb] We're going home.
919
00:51:39,354 --> 00:51:42,104
(dramatic music)
920
00:51:44,690 --> 00:51:46,843
- Marlo san, listen to me.
921
00:51:47,790 --> 00:51:50,253
I taught you everything I have.
922
00:51:50,253 --> 00:51:51,086
- Me?
923
00:51:51,086 --> 00:51:53,785
- You can do it, go!
924
00:51:53,785 --> 00:51:55,877
- But if I, I'm scared.
925
00:51:55,877 --> 00:51:57,940
- Do it, be a man!
926
00:51:57,940 --> 00:52:02,570
Susie has a big breast,
what else do you want?
927
00:52:02,570 --> 00:52:03,767
You can do it.
928
00:52:03,767 --> 00:52:06,357
You remember your training, Marlo.
929
00:52:06,357 --> 00:52:08,298
Do not be a coward.
930
00:52:08,298 --> 00:52:10,255
You can face your fear.
931
00:52:10,255 --> 00:52:14,081
I told you about everything,
don't be a chicken!
932
00:52:14,081 --> 00:52:17,130
Don't be a little girl, be a man.
933
00:52:17,130 --> 00:52:18,841
- Well, uh, what do you recommend?
934
00:52:18,841 --> 00:52:20,535
- Don't go away, go fight.
935
00:52:20,535 --> 00:52:22,890
- I know, I know, but I can't
handle this kinda pressure.
936
00:52:22,890 --> 00:52:23,880
I'm scared.
937
00:52:23,880 --> 00:52:27,560
- Use what Buta and I taught you.
938
00:52:27,560 --> 00:52:30,618
Go shoot Fire Fart Fireball!
939
00:52:30,618 --> 00:52:32,194
You gotta go and get her.
940
00:52:32,194 --> 00:52:35,018
Susie, she's the girl for you.
941
00:52:35,018 --> 00:52:36,649
- Oh, you're right.
942
00:52:36,649 --> 00:52:38,867
- Go kick Caleb's balls!
943
00:52:38,867 --> 00:52:40,835
- Focus, focus.
944
00:52:40,835 --> 00:52:42,037
I can do this.
945
00:52:42,037 --> 00:52:44,454
- Go fight and die for honor!
946
00:52:45,772 --> 00:52:49,105
(upbeat dramatic music)
947
00:52:50,262 --> 00:52:51,095
- Oh oh.
948
00:52:52,780 --> 00:52:53,613
Hey!
949
00:52:53,613 --> 00:52:55,240
(suspenseful orchestral music)
950
00:52:55,240 --> 00:52:57,800
You can give me atomic
wedgies, force moldy cheese
951
00:52:57,800 --> 00:53:01,170
in my ears, put me on a mission
to Mars, twist my nipples,
952
00:53:01,170 --> 00:53:03,770
heck, you can even force me
to milk an unwilling goat.
953
00:53:03,770 --> 00:53:06,150
But you will not harm
the woman of my dreams.
954
00:53:06,150 --> 00:53:08,200
- I'm the woman of your dreams?
955
00:53:08,200 --> 00:53:09,623
- Oh my God, really?
956
00:53:10,560 --> 00:53:11,540
- It's true.
957
00:53:11,540 --> 00:53:13,270
- Wait, I thought you were gay.
958
00:53:13,270 --> 00:53:15,640
- Well, actually, we weren't
really sure there for a while,
959
00:53:15,640 --> 00:53:18,300
but according to my eighth-grade
trigonometry teacher,
960
00:53:18,300 --> 00:53:20,696
Miss McGarrity and an afternoon special,
961
00:53:20,696 --> 00:53:23,813
I am heterosexual, apparently.
962
00:53:26,780 --> 00:53:29,010
- I've heard enough from this idiot.
963
00:53:29,010 --> 00:53:31,574
(Susie gasping)
964
00:53:31,574 --> 00:53:35,491
(suspenseful orchestral music)
965
00:53:37,000 --> 00:53:38,390
- Marlo, what are you doing?
966
00:53:38,390 --> 00:53:39,990
- Don't worry, I got this, babe.
967
00:53:42,996 --> 00:53:43,829
Ugh.
968
00:53:46,954 --> 00:53:48,543
(Marlo licking lips)
969
00:53:48,543 --> 00:53:51,697
(dramatic music)
970
00:53:51,697 --> 00:53:54,447
(Caleb belching)
971
00:53:57,760 --> 00:53:59,613
- Oh, what are you gonna do with that?
972
00:54:01,443 --> 00:54:03,076
- Grand master Dada.
973
00:54:03,076 --> 00:54:05,811
(passing gas)
974
00:54:05,811 --> 00:54:08,805
(Caleb shrieking)
975
00:54:08,805 --> 00:54:11,305
(passing gas)
976
00:54:12,810 --> 00:54:13,643
I did it.
977
00:54:13,643 --> 00:54:15,220
- Okay, freak, that's it.
978
00:54:16,240 --> 00:54:17,240
You're dead.
979
00:54:18,111 --> 00:54:20,944
(Susie shrieking)
980
00:54:22,217 --> 00:54:23,889
(Marlo screaming)
981
00:54:23,889 --> 00:54:26,972
(Shaquanda shouting)
982
00:54:30,380 --> 00:54:32,490
- Ain't nobody hurting
my little orange man.
983
00:54:32,490 --> 00:54:35,080
You need sensitivity and Jesus.
984
00:54:35,080 --> 00:54:36,813
- Get off me, you fat whale!
985
00:54:39,100 --> 00:54:40,260
- Susie.
986
00:54:40,260 --> 00:54:41,890
- [Susie] Are you okay?
987
00:54:41,890 --> 00:54:42,723
- Susie?
988
00:54:43,968 --> 00:54:45,350
(Marlo screaming)
989
00:54:45,350 --> 00:54:46,903
- Not so fast, Shylock.
990
00:54:49,570 --> 00:54:50,403
- Whoa.
991
00:54:51,720 --> 00:54:52,810
Who the hell are you people?
992
00:54:52,810 --> 00:54:53,643
And who's Shylock?
993
00:54:53,643 --> 00:54:55,543
- I don't know, I don't
know, I don't know.
994
00:54:55,543 --> 00:54:56,430
- I'm not him, dude.
995
00:54:56,430 --> 00:54:57,870
You got the wrong guy, Mister.
996
00:54:57,870 --> 00:55:01,600
- Claudius, MacBeth,
Isis, you're all the same.
997
00:55:01,600 --> 00:55:02,950
Bloody wankers.
998
00:55:02,950 --> 00:55:06,050
Grotesque proof of a rotted generation
999
00:55:06,050 --> 00:55:10,950
of societal inbreeds,
metaphorized with your MTV,
1000
00:55:10,950 --> 00:55:14,185
ADHD bollocks.
1001
00:55:14,185 --> 00:55:15,220
Rubbish!
1002
00:55:15,220 --> 00:55:16,053
- Who are you?
1003
00:55:18,077 --> 00:55:19,243
- I'm Marlo's bitch.
1004
00:55:20,080 --> 00:55:21,454
- What?
1005
00:55:21,454 --> 00:55:23,204
- Are you Michael Caine, the actor?
1006
00:55:24,904 --> 00:55:27,090
- Uh, no, I'm his cousin, Nigel Caine.
1007
00:55:27,090 --> 00:55:30,530
I only allow chauvinistic
street scum such as yourself
1008
00:55:30,530 --> 00:55:33,470
to call me by my theatrical name.
1009
00:55:33,470 --> 00:55:34,863
- Oh yeah, and what's that?
1010
00:55:35,995 --> 00:55:37,575
- Harry Brown.
1011
00:55:37,575 --> 00:55:39,532
(whooshing)
1012
00:55:39,532 --> 00:55:41,108
(Caleb groaning)
1013
00:55:41,108 --> 00:55:41,941
- Oh.
1014
00:55:43,833 --> 00:55:46,092
(Caleb crying)
1015
00:55:46,092 --> 00:55:47,259
- Oh, no kids.
1016
00:55:49,031 --> 00:55:51,270
(Caleb moaning)
1017
00:55:51,270 --> 00:55:52,103
- Oo.
1018
00:55:53,830 --> 00:55:55,293
Potato guns are fascinating.
1019
00:55:57,230 --> 00:56:00,133
Miss Shaquanda, are you all right?
1020
00:56:02,930 --> 00:56:04,630
How did you know where to find me?
1021
00:56:06,340 --> 00:56:07,893
- I'm a stalker, plus I can spot
1022
00:56:07,893 --> 00:56:10,370
that little fine booty from anywhere.
1023
00:56:10,370 --> 00:56:11,500
Little Hips.
1024
00:56:11,500 --> 00:56:12,390
- Little Hips?
1025
00:56:12,390 --> 00:56:15,270
- It's a homo sapien expression of love.
1026
00:56:15,270 --> 00:56:18,340
And actually quite an
intelligent declaration
1027
00:56:18,340 --> 00:56:21,870
with regards to leaving
your backdoor open.
1028
00:56:21,870 --> 00:56:23,237
- Oh.
1029
00:56:23,237 --> 00:56:24,070
Okay.
1030
00:56:25,730 --> 00:56:28,310
- Mrs. Shaquanda, was it?
1031
00:56:28,310 --> 00:56:31,223
- Actually, it's Miss.
1032
00:56:32,080 --> 00:56:34,100
- Indeed, my dear.
1033
00:56:34,100 --> 00:56:34,933
For now.
1034
00:56:36,070 --> 00:56:37,610
Shall we?
1035
00:56:37,610 --> 00:56:38,593
- Oh hell yeah.
1036
00:56:42,790 --> 00:56:45,503
- Um, thanks, Professor Caine.
1037
00:56:46,430 --> 00:56:48,060
How did you know where to find me?
1038
00:56:48,060 --> 00:56:50,060
- [Nigel] It was written in the script.
1039
00:56:54,393 --> 00:56:56,130
- There's a script?
1040
00:56:56,130 --> 00:56:56,987
Susie, oh.
1041
00:56:58,653 --> 00:56:59,486
Oh.
1042
00:57:00,520 --> 00:57:01,770
Susie, are you all right?
1043
00:57:04,310 --> 00:57:06,580
- Yeah, I think I'll be fine.
1044
00:57:06,580 --> 00:57:07,860
- It was quite a day.
1045
00:57:07,860 --> 00:57:08,693
- Yeah.
1046
00:57:08,693 --> 00:57:09,720
- Looks like the sun is rising.
1047
00:57:11,540 --> 00:57:12,490
- What about Caleb?
1048
00:57:13,380 --> 00:57:14,403
Is he gonna be okay?
1049
00:57:15,874 --> 00:57:18,245
(Caleb groaning)
1050
00:57:18,245 --> 00:57:21,560
- Um, no, actually his
testicles might be crushed,
1051
00:57:21,560 --> 00:57:24,043
so, no, definitely not.
1052
00:57:24,043 --> 00:57:26,060
- Oh, good.
1053
00:57:26,060 --> 00:57:27,170
- Right.
1054
00:57:27,170 --> 00:57:28,576
Susie.
1055
00:57:28,576 --> 00:57:29,409
- Yes.
1056
00:57:29,409 --> 00:57:30,720
- There's been something I've been dying
1057
00:57:30,720 --> 00:57:32,120
to tell you this whole time.
1058
00:57:33,493 --> 00:57:34,326
- Yeah?
1059
00:57:34,326 --> 00:57:36,363
- I know I may not be the strongest,
1060
00:57:37,250 --> 00:57:40,350
or even the most sensitive or
1061
00:57:41,190 --> 00:57:43,470
romantic guy in our ZIP code, and
1062
00:57:45,470 --> 00:57:47,870
I understand if you never
wanna see me again but
1063
00:57:49,140 --> 00:57:51,090
I really like you.
1064
00:57:51,090 --> 00:57:53,757
And I just want you to know that
1065
00:57:55,473 --> 00:57:59,390
being science partners with
you for the past two months
1066
00:57:59,390 --> 00:58:01,773
is the best thing that's
ever happened to me.
1067
00:58:03,210 --> 00:58:04,760
- I really like you too, Marlo.
1068
00:58:06,599 --> 00:58:09,566
Wait, wait, breathe,
breathe, breathe, breathe.
1069
00:58:09,566 --> 00:58:12,030
(Marlo inhaling)
1070
00:58:12,030 --> 00:58:13,180
- I'm so sorry, what was it you said?
1071
00:58:13,180 --> 00:58:14,840
The lack of hemoglobin to my brain
1072
00:58:14,840 --> 00:58:17,467
gave me temporary memory loss.
1073
00:58:17,467 --> 00:58:20,268
- I said, I really like you too.
1074
00:58:20,268 --> 00:58:22,935
(Marlo gasping)
1075
00:58:25,300 --> 00:58:27,370
- Thanks, that was a close one.
1076
00:58:27,370 --> 00:58:28,203
- Yeah.
1077
00:58:30,200 --> 00:58:31,033
- Susie?
1078
00:58:32,111 --> 00:58:33,101
- Yeah?
1079
00:58:33,101 --> 00:58:34,740
- Will you go on a date with me?
1080
00:58:34,740 --> 00:58:36,730
- Yes, Marlo.
1081
00:58:36,730 --> 00:58:38,153
- Really, you will?
1082
00:58:39,227 --> 00:58:40,633
But what about, um--
1083
00:58:40,633 --> 00:58:42,880
- Just, just stop talking.
1084
00:58:50,148 --> 00:58:51,148
And kiss me.
1085
00:58:52,106 --> 00:58:55,273
(soft romantic music)
1086
00:59:09,071 --> 00:59:09,904
- Whoa.
1087
00:59:13,469 --> 00:59:16,219
(Marlo thudding)
1088
00:59:24,248 --> 00:59:27,165
(muffled shouting)
1089
00:59:32,540 --> 00:59:34,063
- Thanks for the call, Homes.
1090
00:59:35,110 --> 00:59:36,853
- No problem, mis amigos.
1091
00:59:37,920 --> 00:59:40,700
So, uh, what are you gonna do with him?
1092
00:59:40,700 --> 00:59:41,860
- Nada, nada, you know,
we're going to take
1093
00:59:41,860 --> 00:59:43,460
him for a little ride, you know.
1094
00:59:51,415 --> 00:59:54,082
(bats striking)
1095
00:59:56,193 --> 00:59:58,943
(Caleb groaning)
1096
01:00:03,294 --> 01:00:06,040
(speaking foreign language)
1097
01:00:06,040 --> 01:00:09,350
- Uh, okay, sounds good, I guess.
1098
01:00:09,350 --> 01:00:10,700
Sure.
1099
01:00:10,700 --> 01:00:12,060
- Peace out, Marlo.
1100
01:00:12,060 --> 01:00:14,363
- You take care, Marlo, and hey.
1101
01:00:19,306 --> 01:00:20,849
- Um, thanks.
1102
01:00:20,849 --> 01:00:23,490
(engine starting)
1103
01:00:23,490 --> 01:00:25,369
(tires squealing)
1104
01:00:25,369 --> 01:00:27,861
(upbeat dance music)
1105
01:00:27,861 --> 01:00:31,060
(Jose laughing)
1106
01:00:31,060 --> 01:00:32,929
(birds chirping)
1107
01:00:32,929 --> 01:00:35,890
(bright ringtone ringing)
1108
01:00:35,890 --> 01:00:37,370
- Hi, Reily.
1109
01:00:37,370 --> 01:00:40,200
- Hey, I finally finished my solar system.
1110
01:00:40,200 --> 01:00:41,350
Wanna come see it?
1111
01:00:41,350 --> 01:00:43,690
- Dude, I have to stop
by Susie's house first,
1112
01:00:43,690 --> 01:00:46,290
because we're gonna go to
the park for a picnic later.
1113
01:00:46,290 --> 01:00:48,160
- Holy Linux server.
1114
01:00:48,160 --> 01:00:49,690
That's gotta be the third date this week.
1115
01:00:49,690 --> 01:00:51,703
- I know, I know, I'm in high demand.
1116
01:00:52,560 --> 01:00:54,750
But listen, thanks a lot
for your advice, Reily.
1117
01:00:54,750 --> 01:00:56,570
I've gotta go, well that's Susie,
1118
01:00:56,570 --> 01:00:58,770
she's calling me right now,
I will have to call you back.
1119
01:00:58,770 --> 01:01:00,300
- See you tonight, don't be late.
1120
01:01:00,300 --> 01:01:01,500
- [Marlo] Okay, I won't.
1121
01:01:02,674 --> 01:01:04,341
- How did this happen?
1122
01:01:04,341 --> 01:01:05,930
Okay, I can work with this.
1123
01:01:05,930 --> 01:01:09,570
Oo, my mom likes plants,
Mother's Day's coming up, so
1124
01:01:09,570 --> 01:01:11,733
it'd be the perfect
gift, she'll like that.
1125
01:01:13,360 --> 01:01:14,380
- Hey, Turtle.
1126
01:01:14,380 --> 01:01:15,213
- Hey, you.
1127
01:01:16,450 --> 01:01:18,280
When are you getting here?
1128
01:01:18,280 --> 01:01:19,340
I'm starving.
1129
01:01:19,340 --> 01:01:20,173
- I know, I know.
1130
01:01:20,173 --> 01:01:21,960
Soon, I just have to hop on my wheels.
1131
01:01:21,960 --> 01:01:24,790
I'll be there in approximately 17 minutes,
1132
01:01:24,790 --> 01:01:27,130
minus wind resistance, of course.
1133
01:01:27,130 --> 01:01:28,780
- See you soon, Monkey Butt.
1134
01:01:28,780 --> 01:01:33,033
Oh, I have a little surprise
for you, so hurry over.
1135
01:01:33,900 --> 01:01:35,625
Bye, kisses.
1136
01:01:35,625 --> 01:01:38,728
(Marlo blows kisses)
1137
01:01:38,728 --> 01:01:40,400
(phone beeping)
1138
01:01:40,400 --> 01:01:42,100
- Alfie, we're gonna so see Susie.
1139
01:01:45,180 --> 01:01:46,113
Hey, Mister.
1140
01:01:48,570 --> 01:01:49,403
It's me.
1141
01:01:50,583 --> 01:01:51,910
- Oh, no.
1142
01:01:51,910 --> 01:01:53,990
No no no, you stay away from me.
1143
01:01:53,990 --> 01:01:56,610
I don't need your money,
I'm fine, thank you.
1144
01:01:56,610 --> 01:01:58,903
- Would you like some Parmesan cheese?
1145
01:02:00,226 --> 01:02:03,300
(bright orchestral music)
1146
01:02:03,300 --> 01:02:04,253
It's Italian.
1147
01:02:06,130 --> 01:02:09,033
I knew you wanted it,
just get, just take it.
1148
01:02:09,033 --> 01:02:10,683
I think we both know you want it.
1149
01:02:11,890 --> 01:02:12,860
Come on.
1150
01:02:12,860 --> 01:02:15,443
(bright music)
1151
01:02:17,272 --> 01:02:19,855
(bell dinging)
1152
01:02:21,440 --> 01:02:23,142
Alfie, Alfie, come on, buddy.
1153
01:02:23,142 --> 01:02:23,975
(whistling)
1154
01:02:23,975 --> 01:02:25,000
We gotta go see Susie.
1155
01:02:27,580 --> 01:02:29,840
Enjoy, Mister, see you later.
1156
01:02:29,840 --> 01:02:33,570
- Hey, thanks, young man, yeah.
1157
01:02:33,570 --> 01:02:35,120
- [Marlo] You're welcome, Carl.
1158
01:02:36,010 --> 01:02:39,740
- Carl, how did you know my name was Carl?
1159
01:02:39,740 --> 01:02:42,340
Hey, how did you know my name?
1160
01:02:48,458 --> 01:02:51,075
(horn honking)
1161
01:02:51,075 --> 01:02:52,719
Oh shit.
1162
01:02:52,719 --> 01:02:54,493
(bell dinging and horn beeping)
1163
01:02:54,493 --> 01:02:56,450
- Looks like the world's a better place
1164
01:02:56,450 --> 01:02:58,115
with us in it, huh, Alfie?
1165
01:02:58,115 --> 01:02:58,948
(dog barking)
1166
01:02:58,948 --> 01:02:59,781
What an adventure.
1167
01:03:00,800 --> 01:03:01,990
Where do we go from here?
1168
01:03:01,990 --> 01:03:06,079
Who knows, but one thing's
for certain, it'll be epic.
1169
01:03:06,079 --> 01:03:11,079
(bell dinging)
(horn beeping)
72832
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