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1
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Previously on WandaVision...
2
00:00:06,050 --> 00:00:08,010
We are an unusual couple, ya know?
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00:00:10,429 --> 00:00:12,429
My wife and her flying saucers.
4
00:00:12,431 --> 00:00:15,140
My husband and his indestructible head.
5
00:00:15,142 --> 00:00:17,976
Hello, dear. I'm Agnes,
your neighbor to the right.
6
00:00:17,978 --> 00:00:19,811
You're like a walking computer.
7
00:00:19,813 --> 00:00:21,438
What? I most certainly am not.
8
00:00:21,440 --> 00:00:24,358
Dinner with Mr. Hart and
his dear lady wife, Mrs. Hart.
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00:00:24,360 --> 00:00:25,442
What brought you here?
10
00:00:25,444 --> 00:00:28,219
- How long have you been married?
- Why did you come here?
11
00:00:28,221 --> 00:00:29,738
Damn it, why?
12
00:00:29,740 --> 00:00:31,740
Stop it. Stop it.
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00:00:33,008 --> 00:00:34,468
Vision, help him.
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- Synced and corrected by Firefly -
- www.addic7ed.com -
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What was that?
16
00:01:29,378 --> 00:01:30,460
Wanda?
17
00:01:30,462 --> 00:01:31,545
Yes, dear?
18
00:01:31,547 --> 00:01:34,214
Are you using your powers
to turn on the light?
19
00:01:34,216 --> 00:01:35,674
Yes, dear.
20
00:01:35,676 --> 00:01:37,426
Allow me, sweetheart.
21
00:01:43,058 --> 00:01:44,058
What do you see?
22
00:01:45,227 --> 00:01:47,561
Only your lovely rose bushes.
23
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That's all?
24
00:01:48,897 --> 00:01:51,273
Are you using your night vision, Vision?
25
00:01:51,275 --> 00:01:53,525
I assure you, my love,
I see nothing amiss.
26
00:01:53,527 --> 00:01:55,777
You have absolutely no reason
to be frightened...
27
00:02:00,534 --> 00:02:01,694
You were saying?
28
00:02:02,494 --> 00:02:04,828
Actually, I did overhear
a couple of lads at work
29
00:02:04,830 --> 00:02:06,880
remarking on a few unsavory characters
30
00:02:06,882 --> 00:02:07,959
settling in the neighborhood.
31
00:02:07,961 --> 00:02:11,004
Now, who knows what those
ne'er-do-wells might be up to?
32
00:02:11,006 --> 00:02:13,136
Robbing houses, vandalizing property.
33
00:02:13,138 --> 00:02:15,941
Walking through walls, moving
objects without touching them.
34
00:02:15,943 --> 00:02:17,516
Wanda, darling, you can't be suggesting
35
00:02:17,518 --> 00:02:19,676
my colleagues were referring to us.
36
00:02:23,432 --> 00:02:26,683
One of us should really determine
the source of that sound.
37
00:02:26,685 --> 00:02:29,519
Yes, one of us should.
38
00:02:30,689 --> 00:02:32,439
Oh, this is getting ridiculous.
39
00:02:33,609 --> 00:02:35,025
I'm going to take a look.
40
00:02:35,027 --> 00:02:36,860
Oh, God! Darling!
41
00:02:42,618 --> 00:02:44,242
Well, I think we handled that well.
42
00:02:44,244 --> 00:02:46,453
Yes, I must say I'm
rather proud of myself.
43
00:02:46,455 --> 00:02:50,582
And look how you seized on
the opportunity to redecorate.
44
00:02:50,584 --> 00:02:53,164
- This is better, isn't it?
- Mmm.
45
00:02:55,923 --> 00:02:57,339
Wanda, darling?
46
00:02:57,341 --> 00:02:58,590
Yes, dear?
47
00:02:58,592 --> 00:03:00,222
Get the light.
48
00:03:18,612 --> 00:03:20,032
WandaVision!
49
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WandaVision!
50
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♪ WandaVision, Wa-WandaVision ♪
51
00:03:46,140 --> 00:03:48,948
♪ WandaVision, Wa-WandaVision ♪
52
00:03:48,950 --> 00:03:51,910
♪ WandaVision, Wa-WandaVision ♪
53
00:03:52,688 --> 00:03:54,358
WandaVision!
54
00:03:57,317 --> 00:04:00,944
Ladies and gentlemen,
for my final trick,
55
00:04:00,946 --> 00:04:05,236
I bring you the Cabinet of Mysteries.
56
00:04:07,786 --> 00:04:09,125
Darling, that's your cue.
57
00:04:09,127 --> 00:04:10,805
Did you say, "Cabinet of Mysteries?"
58
00:04:10,807 --> 00:04:14,833
I said, "The Cabinet of Mysteries".
59
00:04:14,835 --> 00:04:17,127
Oh, that's my cue. Ooh!
60
00:04:17,129 --> 00:04:19,546
Holy Toledo!
61
00:04:19,548 --> 00:04:23,091
Darling, do all the other
acts in the talent show
62
00:04:23,093 --> 00:04:25,303
have such elaborate props?
63
00:04:26,263 --> 00:04:27,596
Are you kidding?
64
00:04:27,598 --> 00:04:29,264
Fred and Linda are building a moat
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00:04:29,266 --> 00:04:32,184
and a fully-functioning portcullis
and no one even knows why.
66
00:04:32,186 --> 00:04:33,351
Let's keep going.
67
00:04:33,353 --> 00:04:35,395
Yes, yes. Where was I? Um...
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00:04:35,397 --> 00:04:39,107
Watch closely as I, Illusion,
Master of Enigma,
69
00:04:39,109 --> 00:04:43,195
make my captivating assistant,
Glamour, disappear.
70
00:04:46,700 --> 00:04:48,492
You really are very dashing.
71
00:04:48,494 --> 00:04:50,160
Mmm, thank you, darling.
72
00:04:50,162 --> 00:04:52,245
Fear not, Glamour.
73
00:04:52,247 --> 00:04:56,875
For I, Illusion, vow to bring
you back exactly as you are.
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00:04:58,170 --> 00:05:00,550
Abracadabra!
75
00:05:02,966 --> 00:05:05,346
Ta-ta...
76
00:05:08,649 --> 00:05:12,835
Yes, um, Wanda, you're
not at all worried
77
00:05:12,837 --> 00:05:16,770
that the audience might just
see through this little charade?
78
00:05:16,772 --> 00:05:18,480
Well, that's the whole point.
79
00:05:18,482 --> 00:05:20,822
In a real magic act, everything is fake.
80
00:05:22,277 --> 00:05:24,617
Darling, the talent show fundraiser
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00:05:24,619 --> 00:05:26,617
is the most important
event of the season
82
00:05:26,619 --> 00:05:29,449
and it's our neighborly
duty to participate.
83
00:05:29,451 --> 00:05:31,165
Plus, it's our chance to appear
84
00:05:31,167 --> 00:05:33,036
as normal as possible while doing so.
85
00:05:33,038 --> 00:05:35,418
Well, I don't think that
should be a problem.
86
00:05:36,739 --> 00:05:37,819
This is our home now.
87
00:05:39,044 --> 00:05:41,878
I want us to fit in.
88
00:05:41,880 --> 00:05:44,900
Oh, darling, we do. We shall.
89
00:05:45,759 --> 00:05:48,218
And we're gonna knock their socks off,
90
00:05:48,220 --> 00:05:52,514
especially with you wearing this.
91
00:05:52,516 --> 00:05:54,724
Oh, that's actually the
rest of your costume.
92
00:05:54,726 --> 00:05:55,726
Oh!
93
00:05:57,938 --> 00:05:59,304
Well, I better get going
94
00:05:59,306 --> 00:06:01,215
if I'm gonna make the
planning committee meeting.
95
00:06:01,217 --> 00:06:03,143
That's me off as well, actually.
96
00:06:03,145 --> 00:06:05,157
There's a gathering of
the neighborhood watch
97
00:06:05,159 --> 00:06:06,695
at the public library.
98
00:06:06,697 --> 00:06:08,989
And after last night's excitement,
99
00:06:08,991 --> 00:06:12,409
I want to make sure this
town's security is up to snuff.
100
00:06:12,411 --> 00:06:14,141
That's a swell idea.
101
00:06:14,997 --> 00:06:18,207
You tell those tree branches who's boss.
102
00:06:19,585 --> 00:06:21,001
Would you look at us?
103
00:06:21,003 --> 00:06:24,092
Wanda and Vision,
Westview fitter-inners.
104
00:06:26,383 --> 00:06:27,843
I'll see you at curtain call.
105
00:07:37,955 --> 00:07:41,873
Look, it's the star o' the show.
106
00:07:41,875 --> 00:07:42,955
Agnes.
107
00:07:44,336 --> 00:07:46,002
I'm sorry. What did you say?
108
00:07:46,004 --> 00:07:49,172
Oh, I brought my pet rabbit.
For your magic act.
109
00:07:49,174 --> 00:07:53,468
Yes, of course! Thank you, Agnes.
110
00:07:53,470 --> 00:07:56,346
We will take good care of him.
111
00:07:56,348 --> 00:07:59,099
Señor Scratchy just loves the stage.
112
00:07:59,101 --> 00:08:03,061
He played baby Jesus in last
year's Christmas pageant.
113
00:08:03,063 --> 00:08:04,063
Oh.
114
00:08:06,650 --> 00:08:08,150
Oh, morning, Dennis.
115
00:08:08,152 --> 00:08:09,651
Morning, Agnes.
116
00:08:09,653 --> 00:08:10,833
Stick 'em up.
117
00:08:12,114 --> 00:08:14,030
Don't shoot. I'm just a messenger.
118
00:08:14,032 --> 00:08:15,702
Pew-pew!
119
00:08:17,119 --> 00:08:18,159
Mmm.
120
00:08:20,455 --> 00:08:22,515
- Shall we?
- Oh, we shall.
121
00:08:27,421 --> 00:08:29,051
So, are you ready to meet
122
00:08:29,053 --> 00:08:31,506
Queen Cul de Sac and
her Merry Homemakers?
123
00:08:31,508 --> 00:08:33,800
Agnes, Dottie can't
be as bad as you say.
124
00:08:33,802 --> 00:08:35,907
Hmm, well, you'll notice her roses
125
00:08:35,909 --> 00:08:38,013
bloom under penalty of death.
126
00:08:40,100 --> 00:08:44,436
Wanda, can I give you
a bit of friendly advice?
127
00:08:44,438 --> 00:08:46,291
Is it about the way how I'm dressed?
128
00:08:46,293 --> 00:08:48,253
Yes, but it's too late for that.
129
00:08:49,651 --> 00:08:52,486
Dottie is the key to
everything in this town.
130
00:08:52,488 --> 00:08:55,989
Country club memberships,
parties, school admissions...
131
00:08:55,991 --> 00:08:58,166
Well, let's not get ahead of ourselves.
132
00:08:58,168 --> 00:08:59,302
You get in with Dottie
133
00:08:59,304 --> 00:09:01,953
and it'll be smooth
sailing from here on out.
134
00:09:01,955 --> 00:09:05,624
Just mind your P's and Q's
and you're gonna do just fine.
135
00:09:05,626 --> 00:09:08,706
Or maybe I could just
be myself? More or less?
136
00:09:13,842 --> 00:09:16,635
Oh, Wanda, that's good.
137
00:09:18,889 --> 00:09:21,439
Everybody, hurry up please.
138
00:09:22,434 --> 00:09:25,224
Hiya, Dottie! Your roses are divine.
139
00:09:26,146 --> 00:09:27,646
Well, thank you.
140
00:09:36,240 --> 00:09:39,699
The Rotary Club is finishing
the stage set-up as we speak.
141
00:09:39,701 --> 00:09:42,077
They've given the gazebo
a fresh coat of paint
142
00:09:42,079 --> 00:09:44,062
and will be installing
the final decorations
143
00:09:44,064 --> 00:09:45,997
all through the town square.
144
00:09:45,999 --> 00:09:47,958
And if you recognize
the antique footlights,
145
00:09:47,960 --> 00:09:49,926
it's because they're from my store.
146
00:09:49,928 --> 00:09:51,428
And the chairs?
147
00:09:54,049 --> 00:09:56,967
I'm sorry, Dottie. I didn't
ask about the chairs.
148
00:09:56,969 --> 00:09:58,546
So you better not ask me
149
00:09:58,548 --> 00:10:01,058
if you can chair any
committees in the future.
150
00:10:04,518 --> 00:10:06,518
The devil's in the details, Bev.
151
00:10:06,520 --> 00:10:08,979
That's not the only place he is.
152
00:10:08,981 --> 00:10:11,189
As you all know, the talent show
153
00:10:11,191 --> 00:10:14,338
is the sole fundraiser
for Westview Elementary.
154
00:10:14,340 --> 00:10:15,365
This might help.
155
00:10:15,367 --> 00:10:17,946
In the eight years since
I founded our little club,
156
00:10:17,948 --> 00:10:21,283
this event has gotten bigger
and better every season.
157
00:10:21,285 --> 00:10:24,161
Say, those pants are peachy keen.
158
00:10:24,163 --> 00:10:25,787
Do you really think so?
159
00:10:25,789 --> 00:10:28,024
The other ladies are in
skirts. I was worried.
160
00:10:28,026 --> 00:10:30,208
We only have a few
hours until show time,
161
00:10:30,210 --> 00:10:33,380
so a little less cross chatter
and a little more focus.
162
00:10:34,131 --> 00:10:35,464
Okay.
163
00:10:35,466 --> 00:10:38,508
Those little boys and
girls are counting on us.
164
00:10:38,510 --> 00:10:41,386
All of this is for the children.
165
00:10:41,388 --> 00:10:42,928
"For the children".
166
00:10:43,849 --> 00:10:45,349
"For the children".
167
00:10:48,729 --> 00:10:52,979
So, I want you all to give
yourselves a big hand...
168
00:10:55,486 --> 00:10:58,487
... at the appropriate time, of course.
169
00:10:58,489 --> 00:11:02,032
But first let's review event etiquette.
170
00:11:02,034 --> 00:11:04,993
Dress code is upscale garden party...
171
00:11:04,995 --> 00:11:08,163
The only reason I didn't clap
is because I'm afraid to move.
172
00:11:08,165 --> 00:11:09,831
Yeah.
173
00:11:09,833 --> 00:11:11,666
I actually don't know
what I'm doing here.
174
00:11:11,668 --> 00:11:14,961
I'm starting to feel that
way myself. I'm Wanda.
175
00:11:14,963 --> 00:11:19,299
- I'm, uh... Geraldine.
- Hi.
176
00:11:19,301 --> 00:11:21,261
And I'm irritated.
177
00:11:23,972 --> 00:11:27,140
Tickets for tonight are
completely sold out.
178
00:11:27,142 --> 00:11:28,982
Now, you can clap.
179
00:11:30,729 --> 00:11:32,229
And stop.
180
00:11:33,398 --> 00:11:36,318
Really, how is anybody doing this sober?
181
00:11:46,870 --> 00:11:48,286
- Let's say green.
- Yeah.
182
00:11:48,288 --> 00:11:50,121
I mean, the other side could be dirt.
183
00:11:50,123 --> 00:11:52,833
Pardon me. Is this the
neighborhood watch meeting?
184
00:11:53,919 --> 00:11:56,461
Oh, hiya, Vision.
185
00:11:56,463 --> 00:11:58,503
Didn't expect to see you here.
186
00:11:59,800 --> 00:12:03,802
This is sort of a
"members only" type deal.
187
00:12:03,804 --> 00:12:06,594
Ah! Certainly. Right. Well...
188
00:12:07,349 --> 00:12:09,891
I'll just stay here and be
as quiet as a church mouse
189
00:12:09,893 --> 00:12:12,686
till you open up the
floor for new business.
190
00:12:12,688 --> 00:12:15,188
Well, in truth, we were
just getting to new business.
191
00:12:15,190 --> 00:12:16,195
Oh, splendid!
192
00:12:16,197 --> 00:12:18,533
Could you tell me how often
you rotate security patrols?
193
00:12:18,535 --> 00:12:20,735
Do you interface directly
with local law enforcement?
194
00:12:20,737 --> 00:12:23,071
What are your protocols for
threats such as burglary,
195
00:12:23,073 --> 00:12:24,489
graffiti, and reckless driving?
196
00:12:24,491 --> 00:12:27,576
- No, Vision.
- I know these are indeed grave matters.
197
00:12:27,578 --> 00:12:31,705
"New business" actually
means another round of Danish.
198
00:12:31,707 --> 00:12:34,583
Raspberry or cheese-filled?
199
00:12:34,585 --> 00:12:37,115
Oh, neither for me, thank
you. I don't eat food.
200
00:12:42,909 --> 00:12:44,640
What I mean to say
is that I don't eat food
201
00:12:44,642 --> 00:12:47,804
in between meals but at mealtimes.
202
00:12:47,806 --> 00:12:49,546
I'm a regular eating machine.
203
00:12:52,853 --> 00:12:55,353
Hey, fellas. Vision
here has got a point.
204
00:12:55,355 --> 00:12:59,316
Now, listen up. I got some top
secret intelligence for you.
205
00:12:59,318 --> 00:13:00,358
Oh, excellent.
206
00:13:01,111 --> 00:13:03,144
Now, you know how
Johnson's been braggin'
207
00:13:03,146 --> 00:13:04,922
about that treehouse
he built for his kids?
208
00:13:04,924 --> 00:13:06,698
Yeah.
209
00:13:06,700 --> 00:13:08,116
It's a prefab job.
210
00:13:09,328 --> 00:13:11,618
That blockhead can't
even swing a hammer.
211
00:13:12,498 --> 00:13:13,663
I can do you one better.
212
00:13:13,665 --> 00:13:16,285
You know those bowling trophies
Arthur's always polishing?
213
00:13:17,461 --> 00:13:20,378
He bought 'em all at a
yard sale in Hackensack.
214
00:13:20,380 --> 00:13:23,300
I knew it. I've never once
seen him down at the lanes.
215
00:13:25,093 --> 00:13:28,423
I too have some top
secret gossip to share.
216
00:13:31,677 --> 00:13:33,007
Norm here's a Communist.
217
00:13:43,503 --> 00:13:45,195
Vision, you're a real cut-up.
218
00:13:45,197 --> 00:13:47,572
You know, I always thought
you were kind of a square.
219
00:13:47,574 --> 00:13:51,117
Me? No, I'm as round as they come.
220
00:13:51,119 --> 00:13:54,333
Hey, care for a stick o' Big Red?
221
00:13:54,335 --> 00:13:56,086
Well, hold on there a second.
222
00:13:56,088 --> 00:13:58,051
Didn't you hear the man?
He doesn't eat food.
223
00:13:58,053 --> 00:13:59,678
Is gum food?
224
00:13:59,680 --> 00:14:02,610
Well, my understanding is that
it's purely for mastication.
225
00:14:03,757 --> 00:14:04,927
No, I don't do that.
226
00:14:05,717 --> 00:14:08,847
Well, when in Westview... Cheers.
227
00:14:10,222 --> 00:14:12,146
Who knew you were such a funny guy?
228
00:14:12,148 --> 00:14:14,271
And to think you came here
all hot and bothered
229
00:14:14,273 --> 00:14:16,935
about protocols and nonsense.
230
00:14:16,937 --> 00:14:18,997
We actually thought you were serious.
231
00:14:26,405 --> 00:14:30,995
He's funny. All right, so,
back to this barbeque.
232
00:14:37,416 --> 00:14:41,251
That is why you never do a seating
chart on an empty stomach.
233
00:14:41,253 --> 00:14:44,379
Golly, you're a whiz at all
this committee stuff, Dottie.
234
00:14:44,381 --> 00:14:46,953
Thank you for choosing me
to help you clean up today.
235
00:14:46,955 --> 00:14:48,633
I feel so lucky.
236
00:14:48,635 --> 00:14:50,175
You are.
237
00:14:54,782 --> 00:14:56,699
I can't help but wonder if you and I
238
00:14:56,701 --> 00:14:59,227
haven't gotten off on
the wrong foot, Dottie.
239
00:14:59,229 --> 00:15:02,731
And I would like to
correct that if I can.
240
00:15:02,733 --> 00:15:04,443
And how would you do that?
241
00:15:08,030 --> 00:15:10,030
I've heard things about you.
242
00:15:12,451 --> 00:15:14,161
You and your husband.
243
00:15:15,245 --> 00:15:18,205
Well, I don't know
what you've been told,
244
00:15:20,292 --> 00:15:24,632
but I assure you I don't
mean anyone any harm.
245
00:15:26,465 --> 00:15:28,215
I don't believe you.
246
00:15:33,388 --> 00:15:37,268
Wanda. Wanda, can you read me, over?
247
00:15:38,435 --> 00:15:40,677
- Wanda?
- Who is that?
248
00:15:40,679 --> 00:15:41,889
Wanda?
249
00:15:46,276 --> 00:15:47,651
Who are you?
250
00:15:47,653 --> 00:15:50,195
Wanda?
251
00:15:50,197 --> 00:15:52,239
Wanda.
252
00:15:52,241 --> 00:15:54,908
Who is doing this to you, Wanda?
253
00:15:54,910 --> 00:15:58,500
Wanda? Wanda? Wan...
254
00:16:02,835 --> 00:16:04,626
Dottie!
255
00:16:07,714 --> 00:16:10,004
You... Oh!
256
00:16:16,723 --> 00:16:18,183
Pop quiz, Wanda.
257
00:16:19,810 --> 00:16:22,850
How does a housewife get a
bloodstain out of white linen?
258
00:16:24,982 --> 00:16:26,492
By doing it herself.
259
00:16:35,075 --> 00:16:37,665
They say a man is never fully-dressed
260
00:16:37,667 --> 00:16:40,328
without two important accessories.
261
00:16:40,330 --> 00:16:42,000
His special lady...
262
00:16:44,501 --> 00:16:46,671
and his Strücker.
263
00:16:52,217 --> 00:16:55,717
Strücker. He'll make time for you.
264
00:17:12,736 --> 00:17:15,854
Glad I don't have to follow this guy.
265
00:17:15,856 --> 00:17:17,866
Huh? What?
266
00:17:17,868 --> 00:17:19,993
Oh, but you're gonna be great.
267
00:17:22,080 --> 00:17:23,330
What time is it now?
268
00:17:23,332 --> 00:17:25,624
Mmm, two minutes after
the last time you asked.
269
00:17:26,794 --> 00:17:28,414
I don't know where he could be.
270
00:17:32,716 --> 00:17:35,258
Oh, is that him?
271
00:17:35,260 --> 00:17:38,595
Well, it looks like he's got
a little hitch in his giddy-up.
272
00:17:38,597 --> 00:17:39,887
Whoa!
273
00:17:44,042 --> 00:17:47,687
Wanda, my little cabbage,
you look smashing!
274
00:17:47,689 --> 00:17:49,109
Whoa!
275
00:17:52,653 --> 00:17:53,819
- Vis.
- Hmm.
276
00:17:53,821 --> 00:17:55,237
- Where have you been?
- Oh.
277
00:17:55,239 --> 00:17:57,781
Uh, well, me and the boys were playing
278
00:17:57,783 --> 00:18:00,659
a rather thrilling game
of horses with shoes.
279
00:18:00,661 --> 00:18:01,910
No, that's not it.
280
00:18:01,912 --> 00:18:03,870
Shoe horses! No.
281
00:18:03,872 --> 00:18:05,831
Ah! Horse's shoes.
282
00:18:05,833 --> 00:18:10,043
Listen, something strange
happened with Dottie.
283
00:18:10,045 --> 00:18:12,474
Well, something strange happened
284
00:18:12,476 --> 00:18:15,006
before that, too. It's hard to explain.
285
00:18:15,008 --> 00:18:17,592
I was just playing with his shoes.
286
00:18:17,594 --> 00:18:19,302
What is going on?
287
00:18:19,304 --> 00:18:20,470
You are!
288
00:18:20,472 --> 00:18:21,682
Huh?
289
00:18:22,933 --> 00:18:25,267
I want to thank you all for coming out
290
00:18:25,269 --> 00:18:29,646
to support Westview Elementary,
"For the children".
291
00:18:29,648 --> 00:18:31,441
"For the children".
292
00:18:31,443 --> 00:18:33,233
And for our final act...
293
00:18:33,235 --> 00:18:37,237
I give you, Wanda and Vision.
294
00:18:54,715 --> 00:18:57,132
Hey! Hey! You're up, Cowboy!
295
00:18:57,134 --> 00:18:58,464
What?
296
00:18:59,470 --> 00:19:01,430
Oh! Yeah! I've to go!
297
00:19:02,389 --> 00:19:05,724
Hello, Westview! Good afternoon.
298
00:19:05,726 --> 00:19:07,066
It's so lovely to be...
299
00:19:07,068 --> 00:19:09,686
I'm so sorry. Excuse me.
300
00:19:09,688 --> 00:19:13,381
I am Glamour and this is my
delightful assistant, Illusion.
301
00:19:13,383 --> 00:19:17,273
I am Glamour and he's Illusion.
302
00:19:18,864 --> 00:19:20,447
Yeah, what she said.
303
00:19:20,449 --> 00:19:23,205
Today, we will lie to you
304
00:19:23,207 --> 00:19:26,661
and yet you will believe
our little deceptions
305
00:19:26,663 --> 00:19:28,580
because human beings are easily fooled
306
00:19:28,582 --> 00:19:30,169
due to their limited understanding
307
00:19:30,171 --> 00:19:32,709
of the inner workings of the universe.
308
00:19:32,711 --> 00:19:34,169
Flourish!
309
00:19:34,171 --> 00:19:36,296
You just do it, you don't
say it out loud, honey.
310
00:19:37,508 --> 00:19:41,426
And now my wife and I will delight
311
00:19:41,428 --> 00:19:44,058
in your dumbstruck little faces.
312
00:19:45,474 --> 00:19:46,724
Flourish!
313
00:20:01,365 --> 00:20:04,032
Ha! See there? He's using a rope.
314
00:20:04,034 --> 00:20:08,370
Wanda, what's... Oh, no!
Oh! No! Wanda, please!
315
00:20:08,372 --> 00:20:11,206
- Darling, let me down!
- Oh!
316
00:20:11,208 --> 00:20:15,043
I'm feeling pukey!
317
00:20:15,045 --> 00:20:16,375
Ooh!
318
00:20:20,175 --> 00:20:21,633
Uh, what's next?
319
00:20:21,635 --> 00:20:24,985
Oh! Yeah, this is...
This is gonna be great!
320
00:20:25,848 --> 00:20:28,058
A staggering feat of strength.
321
00:20:34,277 --> 00:20:37,097
- Ah?
- Illusion... Uh... Uh...
322
00:20:38,152 --> 00:20:42,904
- Illusion, Master of Enigma, allow me.
- Yeah?
323
00:20:42,906 --> 00:20:45,323
What?
324
00:20:45,325 --> 00:20:47,705
Oh!
325
00:20:49,079 --> 00:20:52,330
Whoops! You weren't supposed
to see how we did that trick.
326
00:20:54,042 --> 00:20:56,877
That was my grandmother's piano.
327
00:20:56,879 --> 00:21:01,381
Oh, Sherbert! Yeah, this
is my old mate, Sherbert.
328
00:21:01,383 --> 00:21:03,674
Stand up, Sherbert.
Say hello to the crowd.
329
00:21:03,676 --> 00:21:05,344
It's Herbert, Herb.
330
00:21:05,346 --> 00:21:09,556
Pipe down, Sherbie, and
pick a card. Any card.
331
00:21:09,558 --> 00:21:12,100
Yeah, put it back in the deck.
332
00:21:12,102 --> 00:21:15,192
I'm not looking. All right. Watch this.
333
00:21:17,816 --> 00:21:18,936
Is this your card?
334
00:21:19,696 --> 00:21:21,446
Uh, no.
335
00:21:22,321 --> 00:21:23,778
I beg to differ.
336
00:21:23,780 --> 00:21:25,059
Mmm-mmm.
337
00:21:25,061 --> 00:21:28,246
Really? Is this your card?
338
00:21:28,248 --> 00:21:29,910
- Vision...
- Mmm-mmm.
339
00:21:30,996 --> 00:21:32,918
Is this your card? Is this your card?
340
00:21:32,920 --> 00:21:34,489
Is this your card? Is this your card?
341
00:21:34,491 --> 00:21:37,501
- Is this your card?
- Mmm-mmm.
342
00:21:37,503 --> 00:21:39,544
Argh! Is this your card?
Is this your card?
343
00:21:39,546 --> 00:21:40,638
- No. No. No. No.
- Is this your card?
344
00:21:40,640 --> 00:21:42,177
Is this your card? Is this your card?
345
00:21:42,179 --> 00:21:43,847
Is this your card? Is this your card?
346
00:21:43,849 --> 00:21:45,258
Is this your card?
347
00:21:45,260 --> 00:21:46,551
Oh, it is!
348
00:21:46,553 --> 00:21:47,719
It is what?
349
00:21:47,721 --> 00:21:49,513
It's my card.
350
00:21:49,515 --> 00:21:52,305
Well, pardon me, Herb. Have it back.
351
00:21:53,458 --> 00:21:54,875
Oh, no, you did the trick right.
352
00:21:54,877 --> 00:21:57,504
Well, of course I did the
trick right! I'm Illusion!
353
00:21:57,506 --> 00:21:59,606
Flourish!
354
00:22:02,986 --> 00:22:04,945
And now, for my next trick...
355
00:22:04,947 --> 00:22:07,278
Oh, goodness me.
356
00:22:07,280 --> 00:22:08,905
Who stole my hat?
357
00:22:08,907 --> 00:22:11,069
Oh! Oh, stop that rabbit!
358
00:22:11,071 --> 00:22:13,361
I gotta need to pull a hat out of it.
359
00:22:14,581 --> 00:22:17,999
Señor Scratchy's got real
star quality, don't you think?
360
00:22:18,001 --> 00:22:21,545
Maybe we leave the poor
bunny out this one, shall we?
361
00:22:21,547 --> 00:22:24,257
Well then, I will just
have to pull this hat...
362
00:22:25,551 --> 00:22:27,843
... out of myself.
363
00:22:29,847 --> 00:22:31,054
Vision, no.
364
00:22:31,056 --> 00:22:32,426
I'm doin' it.
365
00:22:34,768 --> 00:22:37,269
Ah-ha!
366
00:22:39,690 --> 00:22:43,320
If only you all knew our secret.
367
00:22:44,278 --> 00:22:46,903
Oh!
368
00:22:46,905 --> 00:22:48,864
Is that how mirrors work?
369
00:22:48,866 --> 00:22:50,116
Shut up, Bev.
370
00:22:51,618 --> 00:22:56,413
And now, ladies and gentlemen,
for our grand finale.
371
00:22:56,415 --> 00:23:00,992
I bring you, The Magnet of Crysteries!
372
00:23:00,994 --> 00:23:02,452
The Cabinet of Mysteries!
373
00:23:02,454 --> 00:23:04,794
Yeah, yeah. What she said.
374
00:23:06,258 --> 00:23:08,388
I will now make my wife...
375
00:23:10,220 --> 00:23:11,430
... disappear.
376
00:23:13,557 --> 00:23:16,271
Are you sure you don't want
an audience volunteer named
377
00:23:16,273 --> 00:23:18,518
"My husband Ralph?"
378
00:23:23,984 --> 00:23:25,944
No. Abracadabra!
379
00:23:28,697 --> 00:23:31,287
- Uh, sweetheart?
- Yeah?
380
00:23:32,367 --> 00:23:34,117
- Hi.
- Oh.
381
00:23:36,663 --> 00:23:38,121
What's in the box?
382
00:23:38,123 --> 00:23:41,792
What's in the box? What's in
the box? What's in the box?
383
00:23:41,794 --> 00:23:43,511
Yeah, what's in the box?
384
00:23:43,513 --> 00:23:45,962
What's in the box? What's in the box?
385
00:23:45,964 --> 00:23:49,084
What's in the box? What's in the box?
386
00:23:55,891 --> 00:23:56,941
Oh!
387
00:23:57,935 --> 00:23:59,226
Oh, yes!
388
00:23:59,228 --> 00:24:00,308
Flourish.
389
00:24:07,653 --> 00:24:09,153
Let's get outta here.
390
00:24:09,988 --> 00:24:11,780
Sorry. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.
391
00:24:11,782 --> 00:24:13,316
- I'm so stupid.
- Vis? Vis, it's all right.
392
00:24:13,318 --> 00:24:15,408
It's all right. It's all
right. It's all right.
393
00:24:15,410 --> 00:24:16,827
But what is going on with you?
394
00:24:16,829 --> 00:24:20,956
I have no idea. I've been
feeling weirdy all day.
395
00:24:20,958 --> 00:24:23,375
Okay. Okay. Okay.
396
00:24:23,377 --> 00:24:25,797
Oh!
397
00:24:34,930 --> 00:24:37,430
Would you look at that?
398
00:24:37,432 --> 00:24:39,683
That really gummed up
my works, didn't it?
399
00:24:39,685 --> 00:24:41,305
Hmm.
400
00:24:42,980 --> 00:24:45,564
I'm not as funny without it, am I?
401
00:24:45,566 --> 00:24:48,316
Well, you're back to yourself
and that's all I care about.
402
00:24:48,318 --> 00:24:50,384
Now, let's get out of here before Dottie
403
00:24:50,386 --> 00:24:53,846
and the planning committee
string us up for ruining the show.
404
00:25:02,249 --> 00:25:04,879
You two, stop right there.
405
00:25:08,755 --> 00:25:12,132
Nothing like what you
two just did up here
406
00:25:12,134 --> 00:25:15,844
has ever happened in the
history of our talent show.
407
00:25:16,972 --> 00:25:20,515
Dottie, we are so...
408
00:25:20,517 --> 00:25:21,647
Hilarious.
409
00:25:24,646 --> 00:25:28,249
That was the most hilarious
act we've ever seen.
410
00:25:28,251 --> 00:25:30,150
Wouldn't you all agree?
411
00:25:30,152 --> 00:25:31,322
Yeah.
412
00:25:33,489 --> 00:25:35,947
Oh, yes.
413
00:25:35,949 --> 00:25:37,749
You two, come on up. Come on.
414
00:25:40,370 --> 00:25:43,205
On behalf of the planning committee,
415
00:25:43,207 --> 00:25:44,498
I would like to award you
416
00:25:44,500 --> 00:25:48,585
with the inaugural Comedy
Performance of the Year.
417
00:25:48,587 --> 00:25:50,007
Oh, thank you.
418
00:26:06,021 --> 00:26:07,646
- I have to ask.
- Hmm.
419
00:26:07,648 --> 00:26:10,028
One second, I'm backstage
and in the next,
420
00:26:10,030 --> 00:26:12,067
I'm in a dark cubby hole.
421
00:26:12,069 --> 00:26:13,443
How'd you do it?
422
00:26:13,445 --> 00:26:15,570
Oh, a magician never
reveals his secrets.
423
00:26:15,572 --> 00:26:17,364
He leaves that to his assistant.
424
00:26:17,366 --> 00:26:18,946
And she's not talking.
425
00:26:20,202 --> 00:26:23,122
I had a feeling you'd say that.
426
00:26:27,126 --> 00:26:28,291
"For the children!"
427
00:26:28,293 --> 00:26:30,503
"For the children!"
428
00:26:36,718 --> 00:26:38,969
You were tremendous, Glamour.
429
00:26:38,971 --> 00:26:41,601
As were you, Illusion.
430
00:26:44,518 --> 00:26:46,935
I don't know what I
was so worried about.
431
00:26:46,937 --> 00:26:50,438
It wasn't so hard to fit in after all.
432
00:26:50,440 --> 00:26:53,441
And all we had to do was be ourselves.
433
00:26:53,443 --> 00:26:56,444
Well, with a few modifications.
434
00:26:56,446 --> 00:26:59,656
- And it was all for the children.
- For the children.
435
00:27:00,492 --> 00:27:02,962
Well, I think the children
might need some popcorn.
436
00:27:04,329 --> 00:27:05,495
Wanda.
437
00:27:05,497 --> 00:27:06,667
Hmm, what?
438
00:27:11,378 --> 00:27:14,758
Vision... Is this really happening?
439
00:27:17,885 --> 00:27:19,509
Yes, my love.
440
00:27:19,511 --> 00:27:21,303
It's really happening.
441
00:27:23,557 --> 00:27:25,312
If it's that damn tree again,
442
00:27:25,314 --> 00:27:28,687
I am going to rip it out by the roots!
443
00:27:36,028 --> 00:27:37,658
I don't see anything.
444
00:27:49,875 --> 00:27:51,085
What is that?
445
00:27:58,592 --> 00:28:00,182
Wanda.
446
00:28:14,900 --> 00:28:16,150
No.
447
00:28:25,160 --> 00:28:29,970
Vision... Is this really happening?
448
00:28:31,375 --> 00:28:32,835
Yes, my love.
449
00:28:34,336 --> 00:28:35,966
It's really happening.
450
00:28:49,226 --> 00:28:50,226
Vision...
451
00:29:23,635 --> 00:29:27,554
Wanda? Who's doing this to you, Wanda?
452
00:29:27,556 --> 00:29:28,696
Wanda?
453
00:33:40,086 --> 00:33:44,086
- Synced and corrected by Firefly -
- www.addic7ed.com -
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