Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:42,835 --> 00:00:46,295
Oh
2
00:00:46,380 --> 00:00:49,420
A newlywed couple just moved to town
3
00:00:49,842 --> 00:00:53,012
A regular husband and wife
4
00:00:53,470 --> 00:00:58,560
Who left the big city
To find a quiet life
5
00:00:59,059 --> 00:01:02,309
WandaVision!
6
00:01:05,607 --> 00:01:09,607
She's a magical gal
In a small town locale
7
00:01:09,695 --> 00:01:13,275
He's a hubby who's part machine
8
00:01:15,367 --> 00:01:18,617
How will this duo fit in and fulfill all?
9
00:01:18,704 --> 00:01:23,924
By sharing a love like you've never seen
10
00:01:25,711 --> 00:01:31,381
WandaVision!
11
00:01:46,106 --> 00:01:48,356
My wife and her flying saucers.
12
00:01:48,442 --> 00:01:51,952
My husband and his indestructible head.
13
00:01:52,529 --> 00:01:54,029
-Aren't we a fine pair?
-
14
00:01:56,241 --> 00:02:01,121
What do you say to silver dollar pancakes,
crispy hash browns, bacon, eggs,
15
00:02:01,205 --> 00:02:03,365
freshly squeezed orange juice,
and black coffee?
16
00:02:03,457 --> 00:02:05,537
I say, "Oh, I don't eat food."
17
00:02:06,502 --> 00:02:08,882
Well, that explains
the empty refrigerator.
18
00:02:11,340 --> 00:02:12,380
-Wanda?
-WANDA: Hmm?
19
00:02:12,883 --> 00:02:15,053
Is there something special about today?
20
00:02:15,469 --> 00:02:17,639
Well, I know the apron
is a bit much, dear,
21
00:02:17,721 --> 00:02:19,971
but I am doing my best to blend in.
22
00:02:20,057 --> 00:02:21,387
No, no, there on the calendar.
23
00:02:21,475 --> 00:02:25,055
Someone's drawn a little heart
right above today's date.
24
00:02:26,313 --> 00:02:28,073
-Oh, yes, the heart.
-Hmm...
25
00:02:29,274 --> 00:02:31,284
Well, don't tell me
you have forgotten, Vis.
26
00:02:31,401 --> 00:02:32,401
"Forgotten"?
27
00:02:32,486 --> 00:02:34,986
Oh, Wanda, I'm incapable of forgetfulness.
I remember everything.
28
00:02:35,072 --> 00:02:38,662
That's not an exaggeration.
In fact, I'm incapable of exaggeration.
29
00:02:38,742 --> 00:02:41,702
Well, then tell me what's so important
about today's date.
30
00:02:43,830 --> 00:02:45,040
What was the question again?
31
00:02:45,582 --> 00:02:47,332
Oh, well,
perhaps, you've forgotten yourself.
32
00:02:47,417 --> 00:02:50,207
Me? Heavens, no.
I've been so looking forward to it.
33
00:02:50,295 --> 00:02:51,705
As have I.
34
00:02:51,797 --> 00:02:53,467
Today, we are celebrating...
35
00:02:54,049 --> 00:02:55,379
You bet we are.
36
00:02:55,467 --> 00:02:58,717
-It's the first time we...
-Mmm-hmm.
37
00:02:58,804 --> 00:03:01,564
...have ever celebrated
this occasion before.
38
00:03:01,640 --> 00:03:03,230
It's a special day!
39
00:03:03,308 --> 00:03:05,348
-Perhaps an evening...
-Of great significance...
40
00:03:05,435 --> 00:03:06,515
-To us both!
-Naturally.
41
00:03:06,603 --> 00:03:08,063
-Obviously.
-Exactly.
42
00:03:08,981 --> 00:03:09,981
Well done, us.
43
00:03:10,524 --> 00:03:11,904
All right.
44
00:03:12,401 --> 00:03:14,361
Well, that's me off to work, then.
45
00:03:15,112 --> 00:03:16,112
Oh, don't forget!
46
00:03:17,030 --> 00:03:18,160
I haven't.
47
00:03:26,123 --> 00:03:27,123
Have a good day, dear!
48
00:03:49,021 --> 00:03:50,021
Oh!
49
00:03:50,105 --> 00:03:52,855
Hello, dear.
I'm Agnes, your neighbor to the right.
50
00:03:52,983 --> 00:03:54,483
My right, not yours.
51
00:03:54,568 --> 00:03:57,488
Forgive me for not stopping by sooner
to welcome you to the block.
52
00:03:57,571 --> 00:04:00,121
My mother-in-law was in town, so I wasn't.
53
00:04:01,658 --> 00:04:03,828
So, what's your name? Where are you from?
54
00:04:03,911 --> 00:04:06,461
And most importantly,
how's your bridge game, hon?
55
00:04:08,373 --> 00:04:09,373
I'm Wanda.
56
00:04:09,791 --> 00:04:12,131
Wanda. Charmed.
57
00:04:13,212 --> 00:04:15,712
Golly, you settled in fast!
58
00:04:15,797 --> 00:04:17,337
Did you use a moving company?
59
00:04:17,841 --> 00:04:21,351
I sure did.
Those boxes don't move themselves.
60
00:04:22,721 --> 00:04:26,851
So what's a single gal like you doing
rattling around this big house?
61
00:04:26,934 --> 00:04:28,194
Oh, no, I'm not single.
62
00:04:28,268 --> 00:04:29,728
Oh, I don't see a ring.
63
00:04:29,811 --> 00:04:32,151
Well, I assure you I'm married.
64
00:04:32,314 --> 00:04:34,694
To a man. A human one and tall.
65
00:04:34,775 --> 00:04:38,195
As a matter of fact, he'll be home
later tonight for a special occasion.
66
00:04:38,278 --> 00:04:39,398
Just the two of us.
67
00:04:39,488 --> 00:04:40,858
Oh, is it somebody's birthday?
68
00:04:40,948 --> 00:04:42,528
Not a birthday.
69
00:04:42,616 --> 00:04:44,276
Well, today isn't a holiday, is it?
70
00:04:44,368 --> 00:04:46,698
No, it's not a holiday.
71
00:04:46,787 --> 00:04:48,207
An anniversary then?
72
00:04:48,288 --> 00:04:49,538
Ye... Yes!
73
00:04:49,623 --> 00:04:52,383
Yes! It's our anniversary!
74
00:04:52,459 --> 00:04:54,959
Oh, how marvelous!
75
00:04:55,045 --> 00:04:56,375
How many years?
76
00:04:56,964 --> 00:04:59,594
Well, it feels like
we've always been together.
77
00:04:59,675 --> 00:05:01,085
Lucky gal.
78
00:05:01,677 --> 00:05:04,047
The only way
Ralph would remember our anniversary
79
00:05:04,137 --> 00:05:06,267
is if there was a beer named June 2nd.
80
00:05:07,558 --> 00:05:10,058
-So, what do you have planned?
-How do you mean?
81
00:05:10,143 --> 00:05:11,693
For your special night.
82
00:05:12,271 --> 00:05:14,651
A young thing like you
doesn't have to do much,
83
00:05:14,773 --> 00:05:17,033
but it's still fun to set the scene.
84
00:05:17,568 --> 00:05:21,778
Say, I was just reading
a crackerjack magazine article
85
00:05:21,864 --> 00:05:25,914
called "How To Treat Your Husband
To Keep Your Husband,"
86
00:05:25,993 --> 00:05:28,583
and let me tell you,
what Ralph could really use
87
00:05:28,662 --> 00:05:32,422
is, "How To Goose Your Wife
So You Don't Lose Your Wife."
88
00:05:33,959 --> 00:05:37,209
Hang on. I'll go grab it
and we can start planning.
89
00:05:37,296 --> 00:05:39,626
Oh, this is gonna be a gas!
90
00:05:42,593 --> 00:05:43,593
Oh...
91
00:05:45,554 --> 00:05:49,184
Or you
don't go out Friday night Yakety yak!
92
00:05:49,808 --> 00:05:52,348
You just put on your coat and hat
93
00:05:53,228 --> 00:05:57,768
Here are those computational forms
that you requested, Norm.
94
00:05:58,525 --> 00:05:59,525
There you go.
95
00:06:00,777 --> 00:06:02,607
Gee willikers, that was fast!
96
00:06:03,655 --> 00:06:05,565
Hey, the music
isn't bothering you, is it, pal?
97
00:06:05,657 --> 00:06:07,197
In terms of distraction from work,
98
00:06:07,284 --> 00:06:09,624
or the largely nonsensical
nature of the lyrics?
99
00:06:10,829 --> 00:06:13,289
-The first one.
-Ah, no, thank you, Norm.
100
00:06:14,583 --> 00:06:17,093
Hey, is there somethin'
I can help you with, buddy?
101
00:06:17,961 --> 00:06:19,461
Yes, as a matter of fact, there is.
102
00:06:19,546 --> 00:06:24,716
Would you be so good as to tell me
what it is we do here exactly?
103
00:06:25,469 --> 00:06:27,179
Do we make something?
104
00:06:27,262 --> 00:06:28,562
-No.
-Right.
105
00:06:28,639 --> 00:06:31,059
Do we buy or sell something?
106
00:06:31,141 --> 00:06:32,351
No and no.
107
00:06:32,434 --> 00:06:34,734
Then what is the purpose of this company?
108
00:06:35,312 --> 00:06:39,402
All I know is, since you've gotten here,
productivity has gone up 300%.
109
00:06:39,525 --> 00:06:41,735
Yes, but what is it we're producing?
110
00:06:41,818 --> 00:06:43,198
Computational forms.
111
00:06:43,278 --> 00:06:45,698
And no one can process the data
quite like you do, pal.
112
00:06:45,781 --> 00:06:47,491
You're like a walking computer.
113
00:06:47,574 --> 00:06:49,624
What? I most certainly am not.
114
00:06:49,701 --> 00:06:52,791
I'm a regular carbon-based employee
made entirely of organic matter,
115
00:06:52,871 --> 00:06:54,831
much like yourself, Norm.
116
00:06:54,915 --> 00:06:57,745
Hey! What's got your feathers all ruffled?
117
00:06:59,002 --> 00:07:00,842
Yes, I'm sorry, I'm a tad on edge.
118
00:07:00,921 --> 00:07:03,921
You see, it appears
there's something special about today,
119
00:07:04,007 --> 00:07:05,627
special to Wanda, that's my wife,
120
00:07:05,717 --> 00:07:09,677
and gee, I can't, for the life of me,
recall what it is.
121
00:07:10,055 --> 00:07:11,635
Mmm... Oh!
122
00:07:13,809 --> 00:07:14,809
MR. HART: Good to see you.
123
00:07:15,394 --> 00:07:16,654
-Vision.
-Yes?
124
00:07:16,728 --> 00:07:18,688
Wife and I
are looking forward to this evening.
125
00:07:19,815 --> 00:07:21,775
Mr. Hart. Of course!
126
00:07:22,317 --> 00:07:25,197
Dinner with Mr. Hart
and his dear lady wife, Mrs. Hart.
127
00:07:25,279 --> 00:07:27,029
That's what I said.
What's wrong with you?
128
00:07:27,114 --> 00:07:30,414
-Have you got a screw loose?
-Oh, no, sir. Screws all tightened, sir.
129
00:07:30,492 --> 00:07:32,042
Yes, I should hope so.
130
00:07:32,578 --> 00:07:34,078
Employee dinners
are a rite of passage
131
00:07:34,162 --> 00:07:35,542
-for the new hires.
-Ah.
132
00:07:35,622 --> 00:07:37,422
Jones over there failed miserably.
133
00:07:37,499 --> 00:07:38,749
Isn't that right, Jones?
134
00:07:39,126 --> 00:07:41,416
The wife thought
five courses would be sufficient.
135
00:07:42,254 --> 00:07:44,384
And there was that paltry excuse
for entertainment.
136
00:07:45,257 --> 00:07:46,467
A string quartet?
137
00:07:46,550 --> 00:07:50,260
And then you had that embarrassing display
of beatnik enthusiasm.
138
00:07:50,345 --> 00:07:51,715
I wore a turtleneck.
139
00:07:53,223 --> 00:07:55,853
Yes. Best of luck out there
in the unemployment line, Jones.
140
00:07:56,894 --> 00:07:59,734
You know, I owe my success
to being a keen judge of character.
141
00:08:00,230 --> 00:08:02,190
No skeletons in your closet, eh, Vision?
142
00:08:03,400 --> 00:08:05,110
I don't have a skeleton, sir.
143
00:08:05,736 --> 00:08:09,276
Glad to hear it.
Your future in this company depends on it.
144
00:08:16,538 --> 00:08:17,748
AGNES: And you don't have a song?
145
00:08:17,831 --> 00:08:19,751
Nothing special you played
at your wedding?
146
00:08:19,833 --> 00:08:21,043
No, nothing special.
147
00:08:21,543 --> 00:08:23,253
I'll just loan you some records then.
148
00:08:24,004 --> 00:08:28,384
So, we've got music covered,
decor, wardrobe. Oh!
149
00:08:28,967 --> 00:08:30,797
What about seduction techniques?
150
00:08:31,553 --> 00:08:32,853
Oh, I have those.
151
00:08:32,930 --> 00:08:34,810
Of course, you do.
152
00:08:35,599 --> 00:08:37,979
Just out of curiosity, what does it say?
153
00:08:38,560 --> 00:08:42,610
That you should stumble when
you walk into a room so he can catch you.
154
00:08:43,023 --> 00:08:44,073
It's romantic.
155
00:08:44,149 --> 00:08:45,729
Any other tricks?
156
00:08:45,817 --> 00:08:49,777
You could point out that the death rate of
single men is twice that of married men.
157
00:08:50,656 --> 00:08:52,526
Now, that's romantic.
158
00:08:54,660 --> 00:08:56,200
-Oh!
159
00:09:00,374 --> 00:09:01,384
Vision residence.
160
00:09:01,458 --> 00:09:03,498
-Wanda, darling.
-Vision, sweetheart.
161
00:09:03,585 --> 00:09:04,665
Listen, about tonight...
162
00:09:04,753 --> 00:09:08,133
Don't worry, dear.
I have everything under control.
163
00:09:08,215 --> 00:09:09,675
Oh, well, that is a relief.
164
00:09:09,758 --> 00:09:12,258
I must confess, I'm really rather nervous.
165
00:09:12,845 --> 00:09:14,425
"Nervous"? Whatever for?
166
00:09:14,513 --> 00:09:17,023
Well, you know, darling,
I still get a little tongue-tied.
167
00:09:17,808 --> 00:09:21,688
Vis, after all this time...
168
00:09:21,770 --> 00:09:23,770
There's an awful lot
riding on this one, Wanda.
169
00:09:24,565 --> 00:09:28,645
If tonight doesn't go just so,
I think this could be the end.
170
00:09:30,070 --> 00:09:32,910
Well, it's just one night.
There's no need to get dramatic.
171
00:09:32,990 --> 00:09:35,830
Look, I think the best course of action
is to impress the wife.
172
00:09:35,909 --> 00:09:39,999
And I think the best course of action
is to impress the husband.
173
00:09:41,081 --> 00:09:42,121
VISION: Well, wonderful!
174
00:09:42,207 --> 00:09:44,037
Glad to know we're both on the same page.
175
00:09:44,126 --> 00:09:45,626
Until tonight, then, my, darling.
176
00:09:45,711 --> 00:09:46,921
Until tonight.
177
00:09:47,588 --> 00:09:48,798
Oh...
178
00:09:54,678 --> 00:09:57,348
Is your husband tired of you
burning his toast?
179
00:09:59,224 --> 00:10:01,644
Try our new and improved ToastMate 2000.
180
00:10:02,186 --> 00:10:04,306
It's the go-to for clever housewives.
181
00:10:04,646 --> 00:10:07,686
Say, this machine has some shine.
182
00:10:07,774 --> 00:10:08,904
You said it.
183
00:10:08,984 --> 00:10:12,074
Set the dial
and get the taste back into your toast.
184
00:10:17,367 --> 00:10:20,287
Top and bottom heating elements
can handle anything
185
00:10:20,370 --> 00:10:24,540
from meatloaf, to cherry pie,
to open-faced cheese sandwiches.
186
00:10:33,759 --> 00:10:37,509
The all new ToastMate 2000
by Stark Industries.
187
00:10:37,596 --> 00:10:40,516
Forget the past. This is your future.
188
00:10:45,229 --> 00:10:46,439
Here we are!
189
00:10:47,856 --> 00:10:48,856
Oh!
190
00:10:49,733 --> 00:10:51,943
How very atmospheric!
191
00:10:52,027 --> 00:10:54,527
What's going on here, Vision?
You blow a fuse?
192
00:10:54,613 --> 00:10:58,333
Pardon me while I just go and fetch
the lady of the house.
193
00:11:04,665 --> 00:11:05,745
Guess who?
194
00:11:06,542 --> 00:11:07,542
Wanda!
195
00:11:09,253 --> 00:11:10,593
Oh! Oh!
196
00:11:11,171 --> 00:11:12,211
Ah...
197
00:11:12,297 --> 00:11:13,627
What is the meaning of this?
198
00:11:13,715 --> 00:11:15,835
Well, what is...
199
00:11:15,926 --> 00:11:17,256
Yeah, what is the meaning of...
200
00:11:17,344 --> 00:11:18,394
Oh, the meaning of it!
201
00:11:18,470 --> 00:11:20,810
You want to know the meaning of it
and the meaning of it
202
00:11:20,889 --> 00:11:26,309
is that this is the traditional
Sokovian greeting of hospitality.
203
00:11:26,979 --> 00:11:29,189
-Guess who?
-Is that my host behind me?
204
00:11:29,273 --> 00:11:30,403
It certainly is.
205
00:11:30,482 --> 00:11:32,862
-Lovely to make your acquaintance.
-Yes!
206
00:11:32,943 --> 00:11:35,363
See, I forgot to tell you
my wife is from Europe.
207
00:11:36,196 --> 00:11:38,236
Oh, how exotic!
208
00:11:38,323 --> 00:11:40,163
We don't break bread with Bolsheviks.
209
00:11:40,242 --> 00:11:41,662
Oh, hush, Arthur!
210
00:11:44,371 --> 00:11:45,501
And that dress!
211
00:11:45,581 --> 00:11:50,421
Yes! It's... It's so...
Sokovian, is what it is! Yes!
212
00:11:50,919 --> 00:11:54,379
Can I just see you in the kitchen
for a moment, sweetheart?
213
00:11:54,464 --> 00:11:55,474
Oh, yes!
214
00:11:58,093 --> 00:11:59,973
-Who are those people?
-What are you wearing?
215
00:12:00,053 --> 00:12:02,013
-Why are they here?
-What are you wearing?
216
00:12:02,097 --> 00:12:03,427
Well, it's our anniversary!
217
00:12:03,515 --> 00:12:04,765
Our anniversary of what?
218
00:12:04,850 --> 00:12:07,270
Well, if you don't know,
I'm not going to tell you!
219
00:12:08,228 --> 00:12:11,398
That... That man through there
is my boss, Mr. Hart!
220
00:12:11,481 --> 00:12:13,231
And his dear lady wife, Mrs. Hart!
221
00:12:13,317 --> 00:12:16,067
The heart on the calendar
was an abbreviation!
222
00:12:16,153 --> 00:12:19,323
You move at the speed of sound and I can
make a pen float through the air.
223
00:12:19,406 --> 00:12:20,816
Who needs to abbreviate?
224
00:12:20,908 --> 00:12:23,948
Darling, listen, it's all romantic
to do the candles, the music,
225
00:12:24,036 --> 00:12:25,866
-that stunning outfit...
-Well...
226
00:12:25,954 --> 00:12:28,254
I don't wanna be unappreciative,
but right now...
227
00:12:28,332 --> 00:12:30,752
Your boss and his wife
are expecting a home-cooked meal.
228
00:12:30,834 --> 00:12:31,844
-Exactly.
-
229
00:12:32,920 --> 00:12:33,960
Any chance they'd settle
230
00:12:34,046 --> 00:12:36,666
for a single chocolate-covered strawberry
split three ways?
231
00:12:36,757 --> 00:12:38,007
Uh...
232
00:12:38,091 --> 00:12:39,591
I might have a better idea.
233
00:12:42,262 --> 00:12:43,312
Hmm.
234
00:12:43,555 --> 00:12:47,305
So I said, "If we orient the forms
horizontally rather than vertically,
235
00:12:47,893 --> 00:12:51,193
"we can use twice the paper,
we can bill twice the cost."
236
00:12:52,773 --> 00:12:54,653
You truly are a pioneer!
237
00:12:54,733 --> 00:12:57,363
But the larger purpose of the forms is...
238
00:12:57,486 --> 00:12:59,316
Was to analyze our input and our output.
239
00:12:59,404 --> 00:13:00,414
Huh.
240
00:13:01,448 --> 00:13:03,238
You're awfully dense, aren't you, Vision?
241
00:13:06,119 --> 00:13:07,699
Oh, Agnes! You're a life-saver!
242
00:13:07,788 --> 00:13:09,328
What kind of housewife would I be
243
00:13:09,414 --> 00:13:12,714
if I didn't have a gourmet meal for four
just lying about the place?
244
00:13:12,793 --> 00:13:13,793
-Well...
245
00:13:13,877 --> 00:13:16,417
Not that Ralph ever wants to eat
anything but baked beans
246
00:13:16,505 --> 00:13:19,415
which explains a lot
about his personal appeal, mind you.
247
00:13:19,842 --> 00:13:21,802
-Oh, my!
-Oh! Oh!
248
00:13:21,885 --> 00:13:23,845
Do you think Wanda needs help
in the kitchen?
249
00:13:23,929 --> 00:13:26,639
We haven't any tidbits
or tartlets out here,
250
00:13:26,723 --> 00:13:27,853
nary a pig in a blanket.
251
00:13:29,518 --> 00:13:31,598
-No, that's so kind of you, Mrs. Hart.
-
252
00:13:31,687 --> 00:13:33,857
But I'm sure
she's absolutely fine in there!
253
00:13:33,939 --> 00:13:36,319
Oh, thank you, Agnes.
I think I've got it covered from here.
254
00:13:36,441 --> 00:13:37,571
-Oh, are you sure, dear?
-Hmm.
255
00:13:37,651 --> 00:13:40,901
Many hands make light work.
And many mouths make good gossip.
256
00:13:42,489 --> 00:13:44,409
Oh, shall I just pre-heat
the oven then, dear?
257
00:13:44,491 --> 00:13:46,831
-That won't be necessary.
-Oh, All right, then.
258
00:13:46,910 --> 00:13:49,830
Well, I know you're in a pinch
so this menu can be done in a snap.
259
00:13:49,913 --> 00:13:52,623
Lobster Thermidor with
mini-minced meat turnovers to start.
260
00:13:52,708 --> 00:13:55,748
Chicken à la King with twice-cooked
new potatoes for your second course,
261
00:13:55,836 --> 00:13:58,206
and Steak Diane and mint jellies
for your main.
262
00:13:58,922 --> 00:14:00,512
Do you set your own jellies, dear?
263
00:14:00,591 --> 00:14:02,591
-Yes.
-Good girl.
264
00:14:02,676 --> 00:14:04,676
Recipe cards are on the counter there.
265
00:14:04,761 --> 00:14:06,011
Bon appétit!
266
00:14:06,096 --> 00:14:07,506
Oh!
267
00:14:10,893 --> 00:14:12,023
Oh, oh.
268
00:14:12,102 --> 00:14:13,152
You men stay put.
269
00:14:13,228 --> 00:14:16,608
-I sense a domestic emergency, so...
-Mrs. Hart, please don't. You can't.
270
00:14:16,690 --> 00:14:18,530
You... Please...
271
00:14:18,609 --> 00:14:22,649
Yeah, take out the papers and the trash
272
00:14:22,738 --> 00:14:25,068
Or you won't get no spending cash
273
00:14:26,491 --> 00:14:28,871
If you don't scrub the kitchen floor
274
00:14:30,078 --> 00:14:31,828
You ain't gonna rock and roll no more
275
00:14:31,914 --> 00:14:33,794
Yakety yak!
Don't talk back
276
00:14:38,504 --> 00:14:42,514
Well, why don't we have a nice
sing-a-long, all together then, shall we?
277
00:14:45,427 --> 00:14:47,047
Oh, no, too much!
278
00:14:50,140 --> 00:14:52,140
Oh, no, not enough!
279
00:14:53,018 --> 00:14:55,478
Old MacDonald had a farm
280
00:14:55,562 --> 00:14:57,312
Ee-I-Ee-I-O
281
00:14:57,397 --> 00:14:59,397
And on that farm he had a...
282
00:15:01,818 --> 00:15:02,818
had a...
283
00:15:03,445 --> 00:15:04,445
Pig.
284
00:15:04,530 --> 00:15:06,070
Ee-I-Ee-I-O
285
00:15:06,156 --> 00:15:07,156
-With a...
-Oink, oink...
286
00:15:07,241 --> 00:15:08,281
-Here and a...
-Oink, oink...
287
00:15:08,367 --> 00:15:09,947
-There
-Here an oink, there an oink
288
00:15:10,035 --> 00:15:11,115
Everywhere an oink, oink
289
00:15:11,203 --> 00:15:13,333
Old MacDonald had a farm
290
00:15:13,413 --> 00:15:14,923
Ee-I-Ee-I-O
291
00:15:14,998 --> 00:15:17,668
Oh, what was I supposed to do next?
Oh, what was the main course again?
292
00:15:17,751 --> 00:15:19,291
It was... Steak...
293
00:15:19,378 --> 00:15:20,748
No. Steak...
294
00:15:20,838 --> 00:15:22,588
Steak... Diane!
295
00:15:22,673 --> 00:15:23,723
Yes?
296
00:15:24,800 --> 00:15:27,140
Oh, I think that must be
my wife summoning me.
297
00:15:27,678 --> 00:15:29,298
She calls you "Diane?"
298
00:15:30,305 --> 00:15:33,055
Yes, it's her pet name for me.
299
00:15:34,393 --> 00:15:37,233
I'm just coming, Fred.
300
00:15:39,064 --> 00:15:40,194
Excuse me a moment.
301
00:15:44,069 --> 00:15:45,239
Oh, no.
302
00:15:46,864 --> 00:15:48,324
How can I be of assistance?
303
00:15:48,407 --> 00:15:51,907
Well, the chicken is no longer a chicken
and the lobsters just flew the coop
304
00:15:51,994 --> 00:15:53,624
so the steak is the last man standing.
305
00:15:54,121 --> 00:15:57,291
It says here I can cut down the prep time
with a meat tenderizer.
306
00:15:57,374 --> 00:15:59,544
Excellent plan. Where's the tenderizer?
307
00:15:59,626 --> 00:16:01,336
-I'm looking at him.
-Ah.
308
00:16:01,420 --> 00:16:02,460
Hoo-hoo in there!
309
00:16:02,546 --> 00:16:04,336
Hoo-hoo back to you!
310
00:16:04,840 --> 00:16:05,840
Okay.
311
00:16:05,924 --> 00:16:09,644
Finish the meat, find the lobsters.
I'll be right back.
312
00:16:11,221 --> 00:16:12,561
I hope you're hungry.
313
00:16:12,639 --> 00:16:13,889
Starved, is more like it.
314
00:16:13,974 --> 00:16:16,394
My head is starting to feel woozy.
315
00:16:19,104 --> 00:16:20,444
Were either of you aware
316
00:16:20,522 --> 00:16:23,862
that married men are killing single men
at an alarming rate?
317
00:16:24,526 --> 00:16:26,606
-What are you going on about?
-
318
00:16:26,695 --> 00:16:27,905
And what's going on in there?
319
00:16:33,327 --> 00:16:34,367
Who could that be?
320
00:16:34,953 --> 00:16:36,213
Coming!
321
00:16:37,331 --> 00:16:39,211
Oh, you didn't answer the back door.
322
00:16:39,291 --> 00:16:40,921
For your upside-down cake.
323
00:16:41,001 --> 00:16:42,921
Oh! Hi, I...
324
00:16:43,003 --> 00:16:44,003
Who was that?
325
00:16:44,087 --> 00:16:45,587
-A salesman!
-Telegram!
326
00:16:45,672 --> 00:16:47,472
A man selling telegrams.
327
00:16:47,549 --> 00:16:49,639
Wouldn't you know it.
Good news is more expensive.
328
00:16:50,511 --> 00:16:53,681
I couldn't find the lobsters and did you
want the meat tender or pulverized?
329
00:16:53,764 --> 00:16:54,934
Oh, dear.
330
00:16:56,600 --> 00:16:59,600
Well. I think tonight's going swimmingly.
331
00:17:00,312 --> 00:17:02,522
Anyone for Parcheesi?
332
00:17:02,648 --> 00:17:05,568
-My head is spinning.
-Oh, Mrs. Hart...
333
00:17:06,109 --> 00:17:08,029
Did you hear that?
My wife's head is spinning.
334
00:17:08,111 --> 00:17:10,321
Generally speaking,
I don't like her head to do that.
335
00:17:12,574 --> 00:17:13,744
Time to improvise.
336
00:17:15,285 --> 00:17:18,405
You know, I'm beginning to think
you're not management material, Vision.
337
00:17:18,497 --> 00:17:20,117
You know, I had high hopes for you.
338
00:17:20,207 --> 00:17:23,837
But from what I've seen here tonight,
you can barely keep it together.
339
00:17:23,919 --> 00:17:26,919
I mean, look around. There's all this
chaos going on in your household.
340
00:17:28,173 --> 00:17:29,383
Now, when are we gonna eat?
341
00:17:29,466 --> 00:17:31,046
Dinner is served.
342
00:17:32,427 --> 00:17:33,427
VISION: Ah!
343
00:17:34,680 --> 00:17:36,270
Breakfast for dinner?
344
00:17:37,766 --> 00:17:38,766
How very...
345
00:17:38,851 --> 00:17:40,191
European.
346
00:17:41,270 --> 00:17:43,520
Ooh! Let's have a toast!
347
00:17:44,314 --> 00:17:47,484
To my lovely and talented wife.
348
00:17:47,609 --> 00:17:49,859
To our esteemed guests.
349
00:17:49,945 --> 00:17:51,315
Yes. Cin cin.
350
00:17:51,405 --> 00:17:52,405
Cheers.
351
00:17:54,783 --> 00:17:56,543
Well, please eat before it gets cold.
352
00:17:56,618 --> 00:17:58,498
-MRS. HART: Hmm?
-Oh, Mrs. Hart, allow me.
353
00:18:00,038 --> 00:18:02,418
So, where did you two move from?
354
00:18:03,041 --> 00:18:04,131
What brought you here?
355
00:18:04,209 --> 00:18:07,499
How long have you been married?
And why don't you have children yet?
356
00:18:11,466 --> 00:18:16,716
I think what my wife means to say
is that we moved from...
357
00:18:16,805 --> 00:18:18,515
Yes, we moved from...
358
00:18:19,933 --> 00:18:21,443
And we were married...
359
00:18:21,518 --> 00:18:24,228
Yes, yes, we were married in...
360
00:18:24,938 --> 00:18:28,358
Well? Moved from where? Married when?
361
00:18:28,483 --> 00:18:29,483
Now, patience, Arthur.
362
00:18:29,568 --> 00:18:31,778
They're setting up their story.
Let them tell it.
363
00:18:32,237 --> 00:18:33,357
We...
364
00:18:36,491 --> 00:18:38,581
Yes, what exactly is your story?
365
00:18:38,660 --> 00:18:40,540
Oh, just leave the poor kids alone.
366
00:18:41,496 --> 00:18:44,036
No, really, I mean,
I think it's a perfectly simple question.
367
00:18:44,791 --> 00:18:45,961
Honestly.
368
00:18:46,043 --> 00:18:47,253
Why did you come here?
369
00:18:48,754 --> 00:18:49,964
Why?
370
00:18:51,715 --> 00:18:53,545
Damn it, why? Why did you...
371
00:18:58,472 --> 00:18:59,972
Oh, Arthur, stop it.
372
00:19:06,146 --> 00:19:07,226
Stop it.
373
00:19:09,233 --> 00:19:12,323
-MRS. HART: Stop it. Stop it.
-
374
00:19:15,822 --> 00:19:17,202
Stop it.
375
00:19:19,117 --> 00:19:20,117
Stop it.
376
00:19:20,202 --> 00:19:21,252
Stop it.
377
00:19:23,497 --> 00:19:25,537
Stop it. Stop it.
378
00:19:25,624 --> 00:19:26,674
Stop it.
379
00:19:27,835 --> 00:19:28,835
Stop it.
380
00:19:28,919 --> 00:19:29,959
Vision, help him.
381
00:19:44,977 --> 00:19:45,977
Let me help you up.
382
00:19:46,478 --> 00:19:47,478
Give me your hand.
383
00:19:49,231 --> 00:19:50,571
All right, steady on, sir.
384
00:19:55,279 --> 00:19:58,239
Well, would you look
at the time?
385
00:19:58,365 --> 00:20:00,775
Yes. We'd better be going.
386
00:20:02,160 --> 00:20:04,160
Well... Are you both all right?
387
00:20:04,663 --> 00:20:07,333
We had such a lovely time.
388
00:20:08,250 --> 00:20:11,090
This guest is leaving your home.
389
00:20:17,092 --> 00:20:18,552
You made me proud tonight, son.
390
00:20:18,635 --> 00:20:21,425
First thing Monday morning,
you and me are gonna have a little chat.
391
00:20:22,389 --> 00:20:24,639
We'll see about that promotion.
392
00:20:24,725 --> 00:20:25,885
Yes, sir! Thank you, sir!
393
00:20:28,562 --> 00:20:29,562
MR. HART: Thank you.
394
00:20:33,192 --> 00:20:34,322
Oh...
395
00:20:35,777 --> 00:20:37,907
What a charming door knocker.
396
00:20:39,448 --> 00:20:40,448
Good night!
397
00:20:51,877 --> 00:20:53,957
We are an unusual couple, ya know?
398
00:20:54,046 --> 00:20:55,916
Oh, I don't think
that was ever in question.
399
00:20:56,423 --> 00:21:00,763
Well, what I mean is...
We don't have an anniversary.
400
00:21:00,844 --> 00:21:02,554
-Huh.
-Or a song.
401
00:21:03,222 --> 00:21:04,682
Or even wedding rings.
402
00:21:04,765 --> 00:21:06,135
Well, we could remedy that.
403
00:21:06,808 --> 00:21:08,308
Today could be our anniversary.
404
00:21:08,393 --> 00:21:10,983
Of what? Surviving our first dinner party?
405
00:21:11,063 --> 00:21:13,523
Precisely. And our song could be?
406
00:21:13,607 --> 00:21:14,897
Yakety Yak, naturally.
407
00:21:14,983 --> 00:21:15,983
-Naturally.
-Hmm.
408
00:21:17,653 --> 00:21:18,653
And the rings?
409
00:21:20,030 --> 00:21:21,530
Well, couldn't you make some for us?
410
00:21:29,706 --> 00:21:30,706
I do.
411
00:21:31,792 --> 00:21:32,792
Do you?
412
00:21:34,002 --> 00:21:36,212
Yes. I do.
413
00:21:38,006 --> 00:21:39,876
And they lived happily ever after.
28516
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Corsican
Danish
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Icelandic
Irish
Italian
Kazakh
Khmer
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Turkish
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
