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00:00:06,760 --> 00:00:09,680
[gentle classical music plays]
2
00:00:13,640 --> 00:00:17,160
[music grows more intense]
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It has long been a dream of mine
to open our home to a child.
4
00:00:27,880 --> 00:00:30,840
To a baby. A girl.
The cutest one you've got.
5
00:00:30,920 --> 00:00:33,800
Well, I'd be overjoyed
to have the child in the most need,
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whatever the age or drug problem,
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but my daughter is quite specific
about wanting a newborn.
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00:00:39,280 --> 00:00:40,640
One that looks like me.
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00:00:40,720 --> 00:00:44,240
Are, um, Christian teens
giving their babies away anymore or--
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Placing their babies for adoption.
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Placing, right.
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Because we're so close to Ireland,
so I was hoping that...
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00:00:50,680 --> 00:00:54,000
You know, like when unmarried teens
would disappear on holiday,
14
00:00:54,080 --> 00:00:56,680
as not to bring shame
upon the Catholic family...
15
00:00:56,760 --> 00:01:00,760
When fallen women were pressurized
into placing their infants for adoption,
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00:01:01,160 --> 00:01:04,720
with no access to counseling
or appropriate support?
17
00:01:04,800 --> 00:01:06,800
You were hoping that was still the case?
18
00:01:07,680 --> 00:01:09,480
No. Is it?
19
00:01:09,560 --> 00:01:10,440
No.
20
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It's not as common
now that mothers face less stigma
21
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and, thankfully,
have far more options available.
22
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Oh, that's... Wow. Excellent news.
23
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Good job. That's great to hear.
24
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So how much for a baby?
25
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Babies cannot be bought.
26
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Well, not in this country, anyway.
[laughs quietly]
27
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Your relationship status says single.
How long have you been single for?
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Oh, you don't want to bring that up.
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-She'll start crying again.
-[Katherine scoffs]
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No. I've been separated
from Olive's father since she was a baby
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and that was my last serious relationship,
so it's been a solid length of time.
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That's not true, Mummy. What about Evan?
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You moved him in
so that we could be a family
34
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and he broke up with you,
like, two weeks ago?
35
00:01:51,240 --> 00:01:54,480
[laughs awkwardly] No.
This decision is not reactionary.
36
00:01:54,560 --> 00:01:56,760
And then you said "Well, I'll show him,"
37
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and went online
and downloaded the application, remember?
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00:01:59,760 --> 00:02:00,600
No!
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00:02:00,680 --> 00:02:03,440
[Katherine] This has always been
the path for me. I'm not upset.
40
00:02:03,520 --> 00:02:05,960
She's been so upset.
41
00:02:06,040 --> 00:02:09,840
So, if you could just get us a baby,
it'd really fix things up around here.
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00:02:10,320 --> 00:02:13,520
I'll be noting a few things
that concern me in our review, Ms. Ryan.
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I've never seen so much pornographic art
on display at a home visit.
44
00:02:18,280 --> 00:02:20,920
Breasts are practically
a baby's favorite thing.
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Another reason not to get us a bigger one.
46
00:02:23,440 --> 00:02:25,920
Also, you keep a lot of animals
in the house.
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That can be very dangerous and unsanitary.
48
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There aren't that many.
49
00:02:30,000 --> 00:02:32,360
Yet. But we get more all the time.
50
00:02:32,760 --> 00:02:34,840
No. We're not getting more. [chuckles]
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-But you said!
-I didn't say that.
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You did.
We were looking at Pomeranians online
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and you said, when the puppies were born,
we could get one.
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Did I? No. No.
55
00:02:44,680 --> 00:02:46,560
Here you are, lying again.
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00:02:46,640 --> 00:02:47,840
You lie about sex,
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you lie about boyfriends,
you lie about crying and you're lying now.
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00:02:51,080 --> 00:02:53,080
What else are you lying about?
Tell the truth.
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They're not going to give a baby
to a liar!
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[laughs awkwardly]
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[sighs]
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[sweetly] Thank you so much for your time.
63
00:03:04,520 --> 00:03:06,480
I'm not sure we can recommend you.
64
00:03:07,040 --> 00:03:10,480
As you know, we reached out to Olive's
school as part of the sibling report.
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She has some behavioral issues.
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[cynically] Olive?
No, there must be some mistake.
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I'm afraid she's quite out of control.
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00:03:18,120 --> 00:03:20,400
Are you in regular communication
with her teachers?
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Are you in regular communication
with my dick?
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00:03:24,160 --> 00:03:26,720
I hope I'm not out of line here,
but fuck you in the face.
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00:03:27,120 --> 00:03:29,000
My dogs are groomed every two weeks
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and I've never seen them look as clean as
they did next to your crusty fingernails.
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It's called self-care. Get a manicure.
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00:03:34,720 --> 00:03:36,480
Adoption was only my last resort anyway,
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since sperm donors creep me out
and my ex doesn't trust doctors,
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so I tried to bang him for real
and it scared off my boyfriend.
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00:03:41,640 --> 00:03:43,680
Yeah. I'm dealing with that.
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00:03:43,760 --> 00:03:46,480
Then you insult my child and me
in our own home?
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So, eat a dick,
I'll stick with the kid I've got
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00:03:49,760 --> 00:03:51,760
and you can keep
your secondhand crack babies.
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00:03:51,840 --> 00:03:53,800
Olive is perfect.
82
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[man] "Unless you're a thong,
quit riding my arse crack."
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"The smartest thing to ever
come out of your mouth was a penis."
84
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"Your mama's so ugly,
smacking her would be animal abuse."
85
00:04:15,360 --> 00:04:17,240
I must say, it's been a long time
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00:04:17,320 --> 00:04:20,480
since a "your mama" related incident
has been brought to my attention.
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00:04:21,080 --> 00:04:24,640
I think Olive and Millie
may have been influenced
88
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to hurl these vile insults
upon the other children.
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00:04:27,120 --> 00:04:30,160
Perhaps by someone older,
perhaps... at home.
90
00:04:30,640 --> 00:04:32,920
Jane? Are you gonna carry on
with this wholesome facade
91
00:04:33,000 --> 00:04:35,120
or are you gonna tell us
what's really going on at home?
92
00:04:35,200 --> 00:04:36,400
Hang on a minute.
93
00:04:36,480 --> 00:04:38,880
Millie may have a fiery spirit,
94
00:04:38,960 --> 00:04:44,440
but I have never heard her use
such sophisticated and hurtful language.
95
00:04:44,520 --> 00:04:48,840
"Your only chance of getting laid
is to crawl up a chicken's butt and wait."
96
00:04:49,720 --> 00:04:52,320
"If laughter's the best medicine,
your face could cure AIDS."
97
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I mean, I was unaware
that Millie even knew about AIDS.
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Where could she be getting this?
99
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Excuse me, why am I even here? Olive and
Millie have been hanging around together,
100
00:05:02,360 --> 00:05:04,360
but it wasn't my daughter
saying this shit.
101
00:05:04,440 --> 00:05:07,240
Here's what I think's going on.
This new alliance between the girls
102
00:05:07,320 --> 00:05:11,800
seems to have hatched a dynamic whereby
Olive is feeding Millie the lines to say
103
00:05:11,880 --> 00:05:16,440
and taking a supervisory role,
while other children are verbally abused.
104
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[sighs]
105
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Do you know whose fault this really is?
106
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Jane's. Yeah.
107
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I begged you, Jane, to sort that child out
and then I pushed Olive to be her friend,
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just to keep the peace.
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Ranking the entire classroom
from hottest to thottest
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isn't what I would call keeping the peace.
111
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-No.
-Thottest?
112
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Yeah. It's an acronym.
"That ho over there." It's a thot.
113
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It's like a thirstier type of slut.
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Hmm.
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[chuckles] Hottest to thottest!
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[Katherine laughs]
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Oh, shit.
118
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Suspended!
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Sorry!
120
00:05:53,240 --> 00:05:56,040
When I'm sad, that's private.
You can't tell adoption agents.
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00:05:56,120 --> 00:05:58,120
And when I make cruel jokes
about the other children,
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you can't tell anybody. I trusted you.
123
00:06:00,560 --> 00:06:03,480
Hang on. Millie repeated my jokes
and I'm in trouble.
124
00:06:03,560 --> 00:06:06,160
But I repeated your jokes,
so shouldn't you be the one in trouble?
125
00:06:06,240 --> 00:06:09,680
No, because I said those at home,
in confidence, and I nailed the delivery.
126
00:06:09,760 --> 00:06:11,440
I only tried to make her laugh
to start with
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because you said things would be easier
in school if Millie liked me.
128
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Humiliating me in front of the other
parents and your headmaster is not easier.
129
00:06:18,160 --> 00:06:20,360
How am I supposed to be smug
around them now?
130
00:06:21,760 --> 00:06:23,880
Since when do you care
what those people think anyway?
131
00:06:23,960 --> 00:06:26,000
You're rude and nasty to them
all the time.
132
00:06:26,560 --> 00:06:29,480
[gasps] How could you say that about me?
I'm your best friend.
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Millie is my best friend.
134
00:06:31,920 --> 00:06:34,000
Are you drunk? Millie sucks.
135
00:06:34,080 --> 00:06:35,680
-She's fun.
-I am fun!
136
00:06:35,760 --> 00:06:38,480
I've been trying to look after you
all week, trying to make you laugh,
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00:06:38,560 --> 00:06:41,720
trying to make you smile, and all you
can do is cry about a stupid man.
138
00:06:41,800 --> 00:06:44,400
I am having
an isolated personal crisis, yes,
139
00:06:44,480 --> 00:06:47,240
and you've picked a really inconvenient
time to start misbehaving.
140
00:06:47,320 --> 00:06:50,240
This isn't about you.
Not everything is about you.
141
00:06:50,320 --> 00:06:52,240
Nothing is about me!
142
00:06:52,320 --> 00:06:54,480
-I've made constant sacrifices for you--
-Yes, Mum!
143
00:06:54,560 --> 00:06:56,640
'Cause that's what parents do.
They make sacrifices.
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You don't get a medal for it.
145
00:06:58,200 --> 00:06:59,640
Is that what all parents do?
146
00:06:59,720 --> 00:07:03,560
Well, since you have two parents,
wait till your father hears about this.
147
00:07:03,640 --> 00:07:05,760
Please, there's no need to involve my dad.
148
00:07:05,840 --> 00:07:08,920
You're a strong, independent woman,
who doesn't need a man to back you up.
149
00:07:09,000 --> 00:07:11,200
Do you know what it's called
when women use feminism
150
00:07:11,280 --> 00:07:13,000
to manipulate and oppress each other?
151
00:07:13,720 --> 00:07:14,840
White feminism?
152
00:07:15,960 --> 00:07:17,920
Well, yeah,
and it's messed up and it won't work.
153
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We're going to the boat.
154
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[pop music plays]
155
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♪ Every day and every night ♪
156
00:07:36,360 --> 00:07:38,000
♪ Till you give me your good, good love ♪
157
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What fresh hell?
158
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Hey, that's my kid!
159
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Come aboard, baby!
160
00:07:44,080 --> 00:07:45,800
-[music stops]
-I want you to meet my lady.
161
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What a gift! Oh, my darlings!
162
00:07:48,640 --> 00:07:50,760
I've been dying to meet you! [kisses]
163
00:07:50,840 --> 00:07:52,880
[gasps] Oh! [kisses]
164
00:07:52,960 --> 00:07:54,840
We've got some great news, princess.
165
00:07:54,920 --> 00:07:57,520
You are gonna have a new stepmum!
166
00:07:58,240 --> 00:08:00,760
-Stepmum?
-What is your name?
167
00:08:01,120 --> 00:08:03,240
You are hilarious, Olive,
just like your daddy said.
168
00:08:03,320 --> 00:08:05,720
[laughs] This is Cheryl.
169
00:08:07,360 --> 00:08:08,960
Where are her trousers?
170
00:08:09,440 --> 00:08:11,400
I don't know where they are.
Can I get you a drink?
171
00:08:11,480 --> 00:08:14,320
No, sorry, I don't have time
for whatever this is. No offense.
172
00:08:14,400 --> 00:08:16,280
Shep, we need to have a conversation
about Olive.
173
00:08:16,360 --> 00:08:19,040
Of course,
Olive's still my number one girl.
174
00:08:19,120 --> 00:08:21,960
-You are such a beautiful father, Sheppy.
-[Shep chuckles]
175
00:08:22,040 --> 00:08:24,280
Olive was suspended from school today.
176
00:08:24,360 --> 00:08:25,800
[Shep] Anarchy! Love it.
177
00:08:26,280 --> 00:08:27,920
No! Shep, no.
178
00:08:28,000 --> 00:08:29,880
Anyone who gets Olive in trouble is wrong.
179
00:08:29,960 --> 00:08:32,680
That's what I thought, and then
I had a meeting with her headmaster.
180
00:08:32,760 --> 00:08:36,080
Do you know what this is?
We were destined to meet today.
181
00:08:36,520 --> 00:08:38,840
Wow. That is cosmic, babe.
182
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[both] Mmm.
183
00:08:40,760 --> 00:08:43,400
Uh, excuse me? I really need you
to be united with me on this.
184
00:08:43,480 --> 00:08:45,120
You can't possibly think it's acceptable--
185
00:08:45,200 --> 00:08:47,160
I think it's unfair of you to blame Olive
186
00:08:47,240 --> 00:08:50,520
when what you're really upset about is
the pathetic state of your personal life.
187
00:08:51,080 --> 00:08:52,120
Thank you.
188
00:08:52,720 --> 00:08:55,280
The breakdown of my personal life
is because of you.
189
00:08:55,360 --> 00:08:57,840
[sighs] You've gotta let me go.
190
00:08:57,920 --> 00:09:00,920
I've moved on, as you can see,
and soon you will too.
191
00:09:01,000 --> 00:09:03,240
I'm here for you, babe,
if you ever wanna talk.
192
00:09:03,320 --> 00:09:05,440
And I'm here for you
if this is a hostage situation.
193
00:09:05,520 --> 00:09:07,600
-Just blink if you're in trouble.
-[laughs] No, no!
194
00:09:07,680 --> 00:09:09,480
No, I'm a longtime Tru-Séer.
195
00:09:09,560 --> 00:09:14,040
I'm a massive fan. So imagine my surprise
when I pop out to my local butcher's,
196
00:09:14,120 --> 00:09:16,040
as I'm short a few lamb chops
for a dinner party--
197
00:09:16,120 --> 00:09:17,360
CherBear eats meat.
198
00:09:17,720 --> 00:09:20,760
And who should I spot in the queue
for some offcuts doing press-ups?
199
00:09:20,840 --> 00:09:23,920
-[Shep] Shep Knight. Shep Knight.
-[Cheryl] Shep Knight. Shep Knight!
200
00:09:24,000 --> 00:09:26,680
I didn't have a date for the dinner party,
so I just...
201
00:09:27,280 --> 00:09:29,600
I went out on a limb
and I asked Shep to join me.
202
00:09:30,160 --> 00:09:31,960
-We clicked instantly.
-[Cheryl] Instantly.
203
00:09:32,040 --> 00:09:36,640
And we figured, why wait? So we popped out
to Cartier this morning. I bought my ring.
204
00:09:37,600 --> 00:09:38,760
We're engaged.
205
00:09:39,240 --> 00:09:40,480
What?
206
00:09:40,600 --> 00:09:42,120
-They're getting married?
-Yeah!
207
00:09:42,600 --> 00:09:45,160
Is this so you don't have to testify
against each other in court?
208
00:09:45,240 --> 00:09:48,600
-Did you two kill somebody?
-Shep proposed on a midnight swim.
209
00:09:48,680 --> 00:09:50,600
You should not get in this water.
210
00:09:50,680 --> 00:09:52,120
Not here, babe! [laughs]
211
00:09:52,200 --> 00:09:53,040
In my pool.
212
00:09:53,560 --> 00:09:54,840
You have a pool?
213
00:09:54,920 --> 00:09:57,640
-Girlfriend, we have a pool.
-[Shep laughs] Yeah!
214
00:09:58,000 --> 00:09:59,080
She's rich?
215
00:09:59,160 --> 00:10:02,640
What is money but a means
by which personal freedom is acquired
216
00:10:02,720 --> 00:10:05,480
-by those who subscribe to the economic--
-No, no.
217
00:10:05,560 --> 00:10:08,760
You do not get to chase away my boyfriend,
who was a doctor by the way.
218
00:10:08,840 --> 00:10:09,800
-Nice.
-Thank you.
219
00:10:09,880 --> 00:10:12,360
And then get to marry a loaded woman
in her underwear.
220
00:10:12,440 --> 00:10:13,720
It's not a competition.
221
00:10:13,800 --> 00:10:16,600
But if it was, you've been annihilated.
Wow. [laughs]
222
00:10:17,080 --> 00:10:19,520
Why are you doing this?
He doesn't deserve joy.
223
00:10:19,600 --> 00:10:21,520
Fuck! Why do men fail forwards?
224
00:10:21,600 --> 00:10:25,160
This is bullshit. This is misogyny.
Olive! We're going.
225
00:10:25,240 --> 00:10:26,840
Okay, let me just finish these.
226
00:10:27,920 --> 00:10:30,320
Mmm, Dad,
what did you put in this rib sauce?
227
00:10:30,400 --> 00:10:31,760
The secret's young duck fat.
228
00:10:31,840 --> 00:10:35,360
She seems really hungry. I'm gonna
put some in some foil for you, babe.
229
00:10:35,440 --> 00:10:37,120
Who are you?
230
00:10:40,520 --> 00:10:41,400
[music resumes]
231
00:10:41,480 --> 00:10:43,120
♪ Right by my side ♪
232
00:10:43,200 --> 00:10:46,600
♪ Stay every day and every night ♪
233
00:10:47,240 --> 00:10:50,360
-♪ Till you give me your good, good love ♪
-[Shep mimes]
234
00:10:51,400 --> 00:10:54,120
♪ Can't believe you used to be
a stranger ♪
235
00:10:54,200 --> 00:10:56,920
♪ Right now
I can't think of anything stranger ♪
236
00:10:57,000 --> 00:11:00,680
♪ 'Cause you came into my life
and changed the way that... ♪
237
00:11:01,280 --> 00:11:04,240
She's not at all the sort of woman
I pictured Shep ending up with.
238
00:11:04,320 --> 00:11:05,840
Not inflatable, for a start.
239
00:11:07,560 --> 00:11:09,760
Just give me a ring
when you want Millie to be collected.
240
00:11:12,440 --> 00:11:13,680
Hmm.
241
00:11:14,040 --> 00:11:16,960
I'm not gonna be able to ring you
if you're already here.
242
00:11:17,040 --> 00:11:19,640
[laughs] Oh, yeah!
243
00:11:19,720 --> 00:11:21,200
Do you think they'll even last?
244
00:11:21,840 --> 00:11:23,240
Weirdly, yes, I do.
245
00:11:23,320 --> 00:11:25,000
Ah, so you do believe in love.
246
00:11:25,080 --> 00:11:28,080
No, I believe in Shep
latching onto an older woman with money
247
00:11:28,160 --> 00:11:30,000
and I believe in that woman being mental.
248
00:11:30,080 --> 00:11:31,640
You know, I believe in the universe.
249
00:11:31,720 --> 00:11:34,080
That's great, Jane.
I believe in practicality.
250
00:11:34,680 --> 00:11:37,440
Take Evan, for example. Of course,
he was always gonna be a problem.
251
00:11:37,520 --> 00:11:38,520
Sure, I miss him.
252
00:11:39,200 --> 00:11:40,240
[sighs]
253
00:11:40,320 --> 00:11:41,480
Especially at night.
254
00:11:42,480 --> 00:11:43,560
[Katherine breathes deeply]
255
00:11:43,640 --> 00:11:46,080
The Amish learn to do their own dentistry.
How hard could it be?
256
00:11:46,160 --> 00:11:47,280
I could take online classes.
257
00:11:47,360 --> 00:11:48,440
Oh, babe.
258
00:11:48,520 --> 00:11:50,120
I firmly believe, actually,
259
00:11:50,200 --> 00:11:54,000
that our greatest struggles
can also be our guiding lights.
260
00:11:54,080 --> 00:11:55,440
You should meme that.
261
00:11:55,520 --> 00:11:58,320
Like, for example, when you sent Brian
those nude images of yourself--
262
00:11:58,400 --> 00:12:00,160
You left me no other choice there, Jane.
263
00:12:00,240 --> 00:12:03,000
Right, yes, and, you know,
to begin with, I was... [scoffs]
264
00:12:03,080 --> 00:12:04,720
...really quite cross.
265
00:12:04,800 --> 00:12:09,440
But ultimately, it reminded me
that I've got to keep chasing my man.
266
00:12:10,080 --> 00:12:14,680
I mean, our sex life has been
tremendously more adventurous since then.
267
00:12:14,760 --> 00:12:17,560
Really? What sort of things
are you getting up to then?
268
00:12:17,640 --> 00:12:19,200
Oh, no, have this conversation outside.
269
00:12:19,280 --> 00:12:21,600
Bev, I know you're sex-starved,
but I cannot listen to it.
270
00:12:21,680 --> 00:12:23,880
Oh, no, Bev, what's wrong?
271
00:12:23,960 --> 00:12:26,000
Tom used to be up for it all the time.
272
00:12:26,080 --> 00:12:27,800
Now, he barely wants to touch me.
273
00:12:27,880 --> 00:12:30,600
Oh, it's the constant childcare.
It's emasculated him.
274
00:12:30,680 --> 00:12:33,040
All right, have you teleported here
from the 1940s?
275
00:12:33,120 --> 00:12:34,040
A man's a man.
276
00:12:34,120 --> 00:12:35,840
Jane. Go sit in the garden.
277
00:12:35,920 --> 00:12:39,320
No! She's right. Keeping the home's
been a big change for Tom.
278
00:12:39,400 --> 00:12:41,320
Well, why not give him a night out?
279
00:12:41,400 --> 00:12:43,640
Brian and I do loads of stuff
outside the house.
280
00:12:43,720 --> 00:12:45,640
Yeah, but Tom's just always so knackered.
281
00:12:45,720 --> 00:12:48,160
Well, send the boys over to me.
I'll look after them.
282
00:12:48,240 --> 00:12:50,960
-Take your man on a date.
-[girls whisper]
283
00:12:52,880 --> 00:12:53,720
Mum?
284
00:12:54,280 --> 00:12:55,640
Can I have an Instagram?
285
00:12:56,160 --> 00:12:57,520
Yep. When you're 18.
286
00:12:57,600 --> 00:12:59,200
But Millie has an Instagram.
287
00:12:59,280 --> 00:13:03,480
Well, Millie, I hope you're uploading
a lot of very clear pictures of your face,
288
00:13:03,560 --> 00:13:06,240
because the Missing Persons division's
gonna need those to find you
289
00:13:06,320 --> 00:13:08,480
when you are lured away
by one of your followers.
290
00:13:08,560 --> 00:13:09,520
Mum!
291
00:13:09,600 --> 00:13:11,280
-What? Could that happen?
-No.
292
00:13:11,360 --> 00:13:13,760
Have you ever been a woman
on the internet, Jane?
293
00:13:13,840 --> 00:13:16,360
It's exclusively populated
by Nazis and weirdos.
294
00:13:16,440 --> 00:13:18,680
Well, I'm sorry, Millie,
but you are deleting that account.
295
00:13:18,760 --> 00:13:19,960
No!
296
00:13:20,040 --> 00:13:22,360
-[Millie screams]
-Millie, stop screaming like that, please.
297
00:13:22,440 --> 00:13:24,880
-You stop it, you stupid cow!
-[gasps]
298
00:13:24,960 --> 00:13:26,600
[Jane] Please, Millie!
299
00:13:26,680 --> 00:13:28,960
Great, Mum. Thanks a lot. You're so mean.
300
00:13:29,880 --> 00:13:31,680
You see now what I'm up against?
301
00:13:31,760 --> 00:13:35,120
Oh, I'm sorry, Greta Thunberg. Maybe
you could rally the nation's teenagers
302
00:13:35,200 --> 00:13:38,440
to help you protest against the burning
injustice that you can't have Instagram.
303
00:13:38,920 --> 00:13:41,400
-But what if I just--
-Olive. I said no.
304
00:13:41,480 --> 00:13:42,520
[Olive huffs]
305
00:13:42,920 --> 00:13:45,280
Good for you, darling. Stand strong.
306
00:13:45,360 --> 00:13:46,640
[Katherine sighs]
307
00:13:46,720 --> 00:13:50,040
To be honest, Brian has been known
to log in and look at models' feet.
308
00:13:51,280 --> 00:13:54,960
Yeah, he's liked all the pictures
on an account called Hoes' Toes.
309
00:13:55,040 --> 00:13:56,080
Hoes' Toes?
310
00:13:56,160 --> 00:13:58,880
-[Jane] Yeah. Hoes' Toes.
-What did you see on there?
311
00:13:58,960 --> 00:14:01,040
Well, the toes of hoes.
312
00:14:07,920 --> 00:14:11,320
Morty's got all three
of his chosen extracurriculars.
313
00:14:11,400 --> 00:14:14,480
Tom, can we talk about something
other than the children for a bit?
314
00:14:15,080 --> 00:14:17,080
Oh, yeah, sure. Sorry.
315
00:14:17,680 --> 00:14:19,040
I'm not wearing any knickers.
316
00:14:19,120 --> 00:14:20,320
Yeah, me neither.
317
00:14:20,400 --> 00:14:22,720
I was meant to put a wash on last night,
but I forgot.
318
00:14:23,520 --> 00:14:24,840
I've got clean pants, Tom.
319
00:14:25,320 --> 00:14:27,000
I purposely left them off.
320
00:14:27,080 --> 00:14:31,760
I wanted to tell you about it,
so you would be thinking about my fanny.
321
00:14:33,640 --> 00:14:34,720
-Oh.
-[door opens]
322
00:14:35,880 --> 00:14:37,720
Oh, my God. Evan's here.
323
00:14:38,280 --> 00:14:39,480
[Tom] Let's go and say hello.
324
00:14:40,000 --> 00:14:42,280
Here, take my photo, so it looks natural.
325
00:14:45,840 --> 00:14:46,680
[phone beeps]
326
00:15:01,600 --> 00:15:04,360
Oh, my God. She's not brought the baby?
327
00:15:09,080 --> 00:15:10,120
[Katherine] There you go.
328
00:15:14,040 --> 00:15:16,800
Since when do we even celebrate
Columbus Day?
329
00:15:16,880 --> 00:15:19,600
Since Mummy nearly let a dentist
slip through the net.
330
00:15:20,400 --> 00:15:21,800
But I'm not even hungry.
331
00:15:22,640 --> 00:15:24,240
Hey, pretend I said something funny.
332
00:15:24,320 --> 00:15:26,040
[laughs]
333
00:15:26,120 --> 00:15:28,560
[laughs forcedly] Why?
334
00:15:28,640 --> 00:15:31,520
Oh, that's what grown-ups do
late at night in pubs. They laugh.
335
00:15:31,600 --> 00:15:32,880
[Katherine laughs loudly]
336
00:15:32,960 --> 00:15:34,320
[Olive laughs forcedly]
337
00:15:34,400 --> 00:15:35,520
[they laugh loudly]
338
00:15:35,600 --> 00:15:39,120
[laughter continues]
339
00:15:39,200 --> 00:15:41,000
[they laugh]
340
00:15:41,080 --> 00:15:43,440
Oh, there's Tom and Bev. Let's go say hi.
341
00:15:43,520 --> 00:15:46,400
[laughter continues]
342
00:15:49,760 --> 00:15:53,480
Olive! How cool that you're awake!
And in a pub!
343
00:15:53,560 --> 00:15:55,520
[laughs loudly] Hey, you two!
344
00:15:55,600 --> 00:15:57,960
-I'm just gonna go over to the bar.
-[Olive laughs]
345
00:15:58,360 --> 00:15:59,720
Awesome pajamas, mate.
346
00:16:00,480 --> 00:16:01,560
[laughs loudly]
347
00:16:04,000 --> 00:16:04,840
[exhales]
348
00:16:08,560 --> 00:16:09,560
Oh, hey.
349
00:16:10,040 --> 00:16:12,520
-Hi.
-Oh, no, thank you, I'm not staying.
350
00:16:12,600 --> 00:16:14,720
I just came to see how you're doing.
351
00:16:15,560 --> 00:16:17,440
Yeah, I'm doing fine. [sighs happily]
352
00:16:17,520 --> 00:16:19,320
You can be honest with me.
353
00:16:19,400 --> 00:16:20,880
You look distraught.
354
00:16:21,520 --> 00:16:22,520
Have you been crying?
355
00:16:22,600 --> 00:16:24,840
-Hey! Hope you weren't waiting long.
-Hey. All right.
356
00:16:24,920 --> 00:16:26,720
-[kisses]
-I ordered your drink.
357
00:16:27,520 --> 00:16:29,480
-Yeah, thanks.
-Your drink?
358
00:16:30,000 --> 00:16:32,080
Tom, I'm gonna need you
to hold my earrings.
359
00:16:32,160 --> 00:16:33,840
I might have to get into a scuffle
tonight.
360
00:16:34,320 --> 00:16:36,800
-Are you two here together?
-Oh, I'm Sandra.
361
00:16:36,880 --> 00:16:37,960
Me and Evan work together.
362
00:16:42,800 --> 00:16:43,640
Marry me.
363
00:16:43,720 --> 00:16:44,880
-Katherine.
-[scoffs] Okay...
364
00:16:44,960 --> 00:16:47,400
I think it's pretty gross
that you started dating again so soon,
365
00:16:47,480 --> 00:16:49,400
but luckily I'm a very forgiving person.
366
00:16:49,480 --> 00:16:50,320
Why?
367
00:16:51,080 --> 00:16:52,440
Because you're jealous?
368
00:16:52,520 --> 00:16:55,440
So you thought you'd walk over here,
after not so much as an apology
369
00:16:55,520 --> 00:16:57,520
over the past couple of weeks and what?
I just...
370
00:16:58,080 --> 00:17:00,360
-Just take you back?
-Not take me back.
371
00:17:01,200 --> 00:17:02,480
Marry me. Yeah.
372
00:17:03,040 --> 00:17:04,200
This is insulting.
373
00:17:04,280 --> 00:17:06,160
No, it isn't. This is what you wanted.
374
00:17:06,240 --> 00:17:07,720
-Not like this.
-[Sandra mutters]
375
00:17:07,800 --> 00:17:10,240
You don't marry someone on a whim,
because you're lonely.
376
00:17:10,320 --> 00:17:11,240
Everything all right?
377
00:17:11,320 --> 00:17:14,680
Yeah. Do you know what? I'm gonna go
and get another one. Thank you.
378
00:17:14,760 --> 00:17:16,040
[Evan sighs]
379
00:17:17,280 --> 00:17:18,120
Look...
380
00:17:18,640 --> 00:17:19,680
since you left...
381
00:17:20,360 --> 00:17:22,160
things have been unpleasant
382
00:17:22,240 --> 00:17:24,840
and I have felt uncomfortable.
383
00:17:26,280 --> 00:17:27,160
So marry me.
384
00:17:28,720 --> 00:17:29,960
This is your last chance.
385
00:17:32,240 --> 00:17:33,200
Say yes.
386
00:17:35,440 --> 00:17:37,320
Soon, because Olive has school
in the morning.
387
00:17:38,360 --> 00:17:39,400
Well, you should go home.
388
00:17:39,960 --> 00:17:40,800
I'm sorry.
389
00:17:43,600 --> 00:17:45,880
[loudly] That's fine by me, needle dick!
390
00:17:45,960 --> 00:17:47,520
-Wow.
-[quietly] I'm sorry.
391
00:17:47,600 --> 00:17:50,240
Your dick is... You know,
you have a really great dick.
392
00:17:51,600 --> 00:17:52,840
I just think it's...
393
00:17:53,640 --> 00:17:56,280
[loudly] ...weird that you would
break up with me when I have cancer.
394
00:17:57,320 --> 00:17:58,320
[quietly] That's too much.
395
00:17:58,400 --> 00:18:00,320
[loudly] I don't appreciate
you stealing from me.
396
00:18:00,400 --> 00:18:02,960
A single mother.
He steals from a single mo--
397
00:18:04,760 --> 00:18:07,200
-You done?
-[hesitates] Okay.
398
00:18:07,920 --> 00:18:08,760
I'm sorry.
399
00:18:09,440 --> 00:18:10,800
It's just, she's really pretty.
400
00:18:11,240 --> 00:18:14,240
You and Olive okay to get home
or do you need me to call you a car?
401
00:18:15,280 --> 00:18:16,880
I don't need anything from anyone.
402
00:18:18,160 --> 00:18:19,000
Right.
403
00:18:32,160 --> 00:18:34,560
Well, that is embarrassing.
404
00:18:35,040 --> 00:18:36,640
[breathes deeply]
405
00:18:43,000 --> 00:18:44,880
I wouldn't say supermodel.
406
00:18:45,360 --> 00:18:48,120
She was a supermodel.
407
00:18:49,080 --> 00:18:50,440
-[car horn beeps]
-Ah.
408
00:18:51,120 --> 00:18:53,040
The French president and his wife
are here.
409
00:18:54,320 --> 00:18:56,240
[she hums a fanfare]
410
00:18:56,680 --> 00:18:57,600
[exhales sharply]
411
00:18:57,680 --> 00:18:58,520
Dad!
412
00:18:59,800 --> 00:19:00,960
Yeah! Hi, baby.
413
00:19:01,440 --> 00:19:03,840
-Can I have an Instagram?
-How many ounces is that?
414
00:19:03,920 --> 00:19:04,840
You're not getting it.
415
00:19:04,920 --> 00:19:08,800
Can you please speak to her about it?
It's an app for posting pictures.
416
00:19:08,880 --> 00:19:09,840
To social media?
417
00:19:10,400 --> 00:19:11,240
No way.
418
00:19:11,320 --> 00:19:12,640
The government's dreams came true
419
00:19:12,720 --> 00:19:15,640
the day everyone started volunteering
their thoughts. What did I teach you?
420
00:19:15,720 --> 00:19:17,160
[wearily] Stay off grid.
421
00:19:17,240 --> 00:19:18,680
That's me baby.
422
00:19:18,760 --> 00:19:19,880
You two match.
423
00:19:19,960 --> 00:19:23,800
It's adorable, isn't it? I've created
a fusion of our personal styles.
424
00:19:23,880 --> 00:19:25,880
It's military meets solvency. Love it.
425
00:19:26,520 --> 00:19:30,280
Grab your things, bumblebee, it's gonna be
an epic first weekend with Mum and Dad!
426
00:19:31,040 --> 00:19:32,240
[Cheryl chuckles]
427
00:19:36,480 --> 00:19:39,520
CherBear, let's call you
something other than "Mum."
428
00:19:39,600 --> 00:19:40,560
Oh.
429
00:19:41,000 --> 00:19:42,840
-How about Mama Cheryl?
-How about Cheryl?
430
00:19:42,920 --> 00:19:43,760
Done!
431
00:19:44,480 --> 00:19:45,920
Isn't it wonderful, getting along?
432
00:19:46,000 --> 00:19:48,560
She's a fucking snake, babe.
You can't see it with your pure heart.
433
00:19:48,640 --> 00:19:49,680
Sheppy. That's enough.
434
00:19:49,760 --> 00:19:52,480
-Now, we have something for you.
-[Shep scoffs]
435
00:19:55,920 --> 00:19:57,040
Teeth whitening gel.
436
00:19:57,600 --> 00:19:59,640
I'm not threatened.
It makes a lot of sense to me.
437
00:19:59,960 --> 00:20:00,800
What does?
438
00:20:00,880 --> 00:20:03,720
You wanting a second baby with Shep.
It's cum.
439
00:20:04,200 --> 00:20:06,680
Oh, my fucking God!
440
00:20:06,760 --> 00:20:08,760
Fast hands. Just saved 20 million lives.
441
00:20:09,320 --> 00:20:12,040
I want to help you make this baby.
You've got my full support.
442
00:20:12,120 --> 00:20:15,120
I figured the best way was to suction it
into an empty tooth-whitening syringe
443
00:20:15,200 --> 00:20:17,160
and you can just, eh, squish it up there.
444
00:20:17,240 --> 00:20:19,400
She's a little genius, my CherBear.
[blows kiss]
445
00:20:20,840 --> 00:20:23,200
-Uh... I don't... I...
-[Shep] Let me recap.
446
00:20:23,280 --> 00:20:25,640
My lady sucked me off,
got you the seed you wanted.
447
00:20:25,720 --> 00:20:28,160
You get another baby
and you get to keep your money.
448
00:20:28,240 --> 00:20:31,160
You have everything you wanted.
You still want the baby, right?
449
00:20:32,560 --> 00:20:34,600
-I don't have to fuck you?
-No.
450
00:20:34,680 --> 00:20:35,760
And I don't have to pay you?
451
00:20:35,840 --> 00:20:37,560
-No.
-And I don't have to name the baby
452
00:20:37,640 --> 00:20:39,840
-something stupid?
-Ethos is a powerful choice.
453
00:20:39,920 --> 00:20:41,080
All right, Sheppy, shh.
454
00:20:41,920 --> 00:20:42,760
Middle name, then.
455
00:20:43,560 --> 00:20:44,480
[Olive] Ready!
456
00:20:45,400 --> 00:20:46,520
Come on, baby.
457
00:20:48,760 --> 00:20:50,480
[Shep] Come on, baby. Let's go!
458
00:20:50,560 --> 00:20:51,600
[Cheryl giggles]
459
00:20:52,400 --> 00:20:54,480
[Cheryl] What's that? A pink booster seat?
460
00:20:54,560 --> 00:20:56,560
-[Shep] Yeah! New Mummy got you that!
-[Cheryl] Yeah!
461
00:20:56,640 --> 00:20:58,320
[Shep] Click it in. You know the rules.
462
00:20:58,400 --> 00:21:01,320
Oh, I'll pop over on Monday
with some more. We'll do lunch.
463
00:21:02,240 --> 00:21:03,160
[engine starts]
464
00:21:05,080 --> 00:21:08,680
[upbeat music plays]
465
00:21:08,760 --> 00:21:09,760
♪ Down, dog ♪
466
00:21:10,760 --> 00:21:11,760
♪ Down, dog ♪
467
00:21:12,800 --> 00:21:14,040
♪ Down, dog ♪
468
00:21:14,840 --> 00:21:16,920
♪ You're so damn electro-cute
All right ♪
469
00:21:17,000 --> 00:21:18,880
♪ You know you got that juice
Yeah ♪
470
00:21:18,960 --> 00:21:20,920
♪ You know you got that juice ♪
471
00:21:21,000 --> 00:21:22,520
♪ You know you got that juice ♪
472
00:21:22,600 --> 00:21:24,880
♪ Now, squeeze all that passion fruit
Squeeze ♪
473
00:21:24,960 --> 00:21:26,920
♪ Ain't no one fresher than you
Fresher ♪
474
00:21:27,000 --> 00:21:28,840
♪ Ain't no one fresher than you
Fresher ♪
475
00:21:28,920 --> 00:21:30,680
♪ And if they try to break you, you say ♪
476
00:21:30,760 --> 00:21:32,680
♪ Down, dog
Don't think about it ♪
477
00:21:32,760 --> 00:21:34,600
♪ Down, dog
Don't think about it ♪
478
00:21:34,680 --> 00:21:36,600
♪ Down, dog
Don't think about it ♪
479
00:21:36,680 --> 00:21:37,520
♪ Stop ♪
480
00:21:37,960 --> 00:21:39,520
♪ Now, shine
I got the juice ♪
481
00:21:40,440 --> 00:21:42,200
♪ I'm the chaser, don't need a mixer ♪
482
00:21:42,280 --> 00:21:44,680
♪ I got the juice
Juice tonight ♪
483
00:21:44,760 --> 00:21:45,840
♪ Down, dog ♪
484
00:21:46,840 --> 00:21:47,800
♪ Down, dog ♪
38416
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