All language subtitles for 2x10 - The Xena Scrolls

Here you go, Ma'am.

- Hello.
- Idiot.

Hello-- anybody home?

Someone's coming.

Hello?!

Hello.

Is anyone home?

Give me the briefcase, now.

Oh, my.

Now, that's no way
to treat a lady.

Run along now, boys.

I don't have time to play.

She's out of bullets.

Ventilate my hat!

Now, dance.

Get outta here!

I could've been killed.

Who are you?

I'm Mel Pappas,

and I'm looking for
Dr. Janice Covington.

You're Mel Pappas.

Yes, Ma'am.

Winner of the 1924 Nobel Prize
for anthropology;

Dean of the University
of South Carolina

Nice try.

Professor Pappas
died a year ago.

Well, I know that.
I'm his daughter,

Melinda Pappas
Mel, for short.

Around here, it's hard
to know who to trust.

What do you want?

Well, I was going through
my Daddy's records,

and I found an old
telegram from you.

Yeah? So?

In it, you said you wanted
help translating ancient

writings, and
and here I am!

I don't think so.

Wait.

How did Smythe's men get in here?

I don't know.

I told you I want a lookout
posted around-the-clock.

- Keep an eye out.
- Yes, Ma'am.

Who's Smythe?

Look-- you don't belong here.

Now, if you want, I'll have one
of my men take you back to town.

And why did they want
to get my briefcase?

They must be looking
for the tablet.

It's the key to unlocking
the tomb we found.

Nikos?

The curse! God help us!

There are no curses-- it's a knife!

They think this tomb is haunted.

Of course, murder isn't real
good for morale, either.

Murder?

It sure as hell ain't
suicide, sweetheart.

Still wanna hang around,
Mel Pappas?

What's in that tomb that
would drive men to murder?

The most important
archaeological find of the century

Something that
will revolutionize

the way we look at
the ancient world.

It has the power to
turn myth into history,

history into myth

the Xena Scrolls.

In a time of ancient gods...

...warlords...

...and kings...

A land in turmoil
cried out for a hero...

She was Xena...

a mighty princess,
forged in the heat of battle...

...The power...

...The passion...

...The danger...

Her courage will
change the world...

The Xena Scrolls

And everyone heard
the battle cry

of the fair-haired Xena.

Though her dark nemesis
fought bravely,

she was still no
match for our hero.

Now, wait a minute.

Xena was the dark-haired one.

The blonde was an
imposter named Callisto.

Well, it's an easy mistake to make.

But the rest goes like this...

Desperate to save her
friend, the great warrior

woman leaped into action.

Don't panic!

And Xena saved Callisto
from the fate

she most desired
her own death.

Before he died, Daddy taught
me to read ancient syntax.

I could be a great help to you

in reading these myths
or stories, whatever

History. It's history.

That's why it's so valuable.

You know, many people doubt
the existence of the scrolls,

even with this proof.

My father found this years
ago on another dig site.

Your Daddy was an
archaelologist, too?

He was the best
that ever lived.

Covington

Covington

I don't recall an
archaeologist called Co...

Oh, my goodness.

You're the daughter of
Harry Covington, the...

The graverobber.

Yeah, that's what everyone
else called him, why not you?

Well, I'm sure it's just
an unfair description.

Hah! No, it's right on.

He'd sell anything he could
to the highest bidder.

But not for greed.

Everything he did was to
finance his search for the scrolls.

And now that I'm this close to
proving his quest wasn't in vain,

I'm not about to enlist the aid

of some spoiled brat
who's trying to

live on her father's reputation.

Just like you're trying to

live down your Daddy's reputation?!

What did you say?

Nothing.

I just mean, that maybe
we're both living

in our Daddies' shadows,
as different as those shadows are.

Now, what?

Go away.

Don't even move.

I am a friend. If I want,
you would be dead, now.

How do you figure that, huh?

I've got a gun at your neck.

I know you was there all the time.

I could have killed you
in the blin of an eye.

A what?

Blin-- blin--
Don't you speak English?

Who are you?
What do you want?

Allow me to introduce myself,
Dr. Covington.

I am Lieutenant Jacques S'er,
special reconnaissance division,

Free-French Army.

What can I do for you, Lieutenant?

Well, uh, first, you can
introduce me to this

charming beauty-- Enchante'.

Is there a point
to your visit?

I am here for your protection.

You see, the French
government has

a vital interest
in these scrolls.

They may unlock the secret
to ancient mysteries

powers so strong

that-- it is within
the interest of all

decent people

to do everything they can

to keep it out of
the wrong hands.

Oh, you mean like the Nazis?

Relax!

I'd never let those
bastards get the scrolls.

Let us hope not, but
it is within your family's

tradition to respond to
a healthy financial offer,

Hey!

Janice's Daddy was
interested in the truth

about the scrolls
and nothing else!

And so is Janice.

How did the French government
find out about my scrolls?

We French are students
of archaeology,

and-- we know that there are
powerful secrets within

the scrolls with regard to,

the deep dark
secrets of the gods.

Covington!

Look what I've got.
The key.

You can't decipher it, Smith.

That's Smythe.

No, I can't-- but, you can.

If you help me,
I'm willing to offer a nice payday.

I'm not interested
in your money.

Oh! Come now,

the daughter of Harry Covington
not interested in money?

Don't make me giggle.

I'll pay you 100,000
American dollars.

That's a lot of moolah.

Maybe we can do
business after all.

Guess it's in my blood, honey.
Show me what you got.

This could be the ticket.

Shall we try it out?

Bring her friends along.

Come on.

We French make love, not war.
But in your cases,

I'll make an exception.

This tablet's a fake.

Why?
What's wrong?

No, no, that's not a fake.
Look-- first ruby,

then emerald.
Here, let me try.

I like her-- pretty and smart.

Had to stay and
help, didn't you?

So, playing games, are we?

Well if you don't like my money,
I have other plans.

Ladies first.

What a gentleman.

But, of course.

Not you, idiot.

It's dark.

Where's Smythe?

He got what he deserved.

Some great battle
was fought here.

I don't know why,

but I get the feeling
that this was the site of

some titanic struggle
between good and evil.

'All ye who enter beware
the rock of the God of War. '

Legend has it Xena and Ares

were bound by some deep bond.

By the gods, you are a beauty.

You must know, I've missed you.

What do you want?

I want you back, of course.

My Warrior Princess

living as my Warrior Queen.

We were once a great match.

I didn't know any better then.

I thought your ways
were all there was for me.

I think you'd be more
comfortable in this.

Now that you do know there
is another side to life,

now tell me

are you really having
more fun these days?

I'm fighting for
a better world.

My dear Xena, you were always
fighting for a better world.

You were going to conquer it

and then

you were going to rule it.

Ares' tomb.

The natives very well
may have been right.

This place could be cursed.

Well, it was kind of
funny that that rockslide

happened just
as we came in.

There are no curses.

That is where you are wrong.

You see-- I, for one,

am cursed with a certain
personal magnetism.

And once, when
on a mission to Egypt

for the French Secret Service,

I came across
a curse so horrible,

that, um-- only a man of my

training and expertise
could have faced it-- and lived.

Wait a minute.
I saw that movie.

Yes, of course, I must have
confused it with my real

battle against
the supernatural.

Excuse me, but
that was a movie, too.

Yes, but who do you think
gave them the idea?

What do we do now?

We find the scrolls
and get out of here.

Don't touch anything
that looks suspicious.

These tombs are set with
booby-traps to stop thieves.

Well, it didn't look suspicious.

Sit down and stay out of my way.

I'll find the scrolls myself.

Dr. Covington, come here!
Look what I found!

I said, sit down and don't talk.

This stone must be a doorway.

Look for a trigger
Some kind of release.

Oh, my.

Did you ever hear about
Xena's true love, Marcus?

It's so romantic.

Listen, we are busy.

We don't have time
for the love story.

But, this is so much more.

Xena swam to the Underworld

because her love
Marcus called for her.

Marcus-- oh, it feels so
good to hold you.

Marcus!

Evil had taken control
and innocent soldiers suffered.

But Xena fought for good.

Xena! Hurry!

They held immortality
in their hands.

But Xena did not give
in to temptation

even though it meant saying

goodbye to the man she loved.

You must go now, Xena.

Marcus is in the
Elysian fields forever.

Now, say goodbye.

Keep thinking of me.

You know, you move me
with the story of love.

Well, that is.

The scrolls!

He was right!

All those years of
people doubting him.

And I'm gonna prove him
right with this discovery.

Well, I'm sure I'm very happy

for your Daddy and you.

But, wouldn't you say
it's our little discovery?

If you even think that

I'm gonna give you
credit for leading me

Listen, who cares
who gets the credit?

Why don't we pick
up these little pieces

of paper and get out of here?

What's this?

Don't know necklace
something, who cares?

The chakram, Xena's
most powerful weapon.

Why don't you give me a try?

If I can't do it, you can't.

I loosened it for you.

You can hang onto it till
we get the rest of the scrolls.

Let's get outta here.
Where'd she go?

Looking for this?

Oh, my.

Hold it, Smythe!

Fire that gun and you'll create

a rockslide that'll
bury all of us alive.

Yes, all of us.

Well, nothing ventured,
nothing gained.

Not this time.

Get the girl!

All right.

- Don't tell me what...
- Move!

Apprehend her.

Release her!

Release her!

Move!

Come now, Mademoiselle.

Quit pulling me.

Rockslide.

We will be safe in here.

Qu'est-ce qu c'est?

What did I tell you?

This place is cursed.

There are no curses.

This was obviously a case of

dormant embers being hit by oxygen

resulting in
spontaneous combustion.

What?!

Embers don't lie dormant
for thousands of years!

Obviously, some sort of curse.

What are we going to do?

I know.

We'll stand with our rear
ends facing each other.

That'd-- no.

Curses don't know
fronts from rears.

We'll counter-curse it.

You must know
some kind of a curse.

My grandmother she was
a witch. Boil, boil! No.

There's no oxygen in here.
I can't breathe!

I'm starting to
panic uncontrollably!

Pull yourself together, man!

Enough games.

I want the scrolls
and the chakram now.

Shazam!

Mel!

That feels good.

Would you mind
slapping me again?

I'm hallucinating.

I've been expecting you.

Welcome to the prison that
has held me for centuries.

Oh! Ah, excuse me,
my good fellow.

I think you'll find that
this tomb is mine.

Go ahead
take your best shot.

Eliminate him.

Who are you?

The last sight you'll ever see.

My God.

Fear not, ladies.

I-- shall not go down
without a fight.

Did I not tell you, that
I was captain of my boxing

team in my division?

Ah, you like it?
Oh, you're not ready

for the duck, duck, weave, huh?

Oh, please.

Does the brush salesman
from New Jersey

think he can defeat the God of War?

Ares.

Brush salesman?

I, uh-- I li--
I mean, ah-- I lied.

How are ya?

Jack Kleinman, Victory Brush
Company, Hoboken.

I tried to enlist to
fight the Fuhrer,

but I got 4F'ed-- you dig?

So I came here to
fight the Nazi

bastards, so they wouldn't
get the scrolls.

How did you find out
about the scrolls.

My guess is from the
family tradition

passed down from ancient times.

You're related to Xena?

Well--

No-- no, not Xena.

You wanna fight, huh?

Fine with me.

You made me mad, now, little girl.

You've just made
a serious mistake.

You broke my crossbow!

That does it.

I'm gonna rip you apart
with my bare hands!

His kind give warriors
a bad name.

I see you've kept your family's

reputation for
undiluted idiocy intact.

For thousands of years,

my spirit has been
trapped here in

this tomb, waiting for a certain

someone to claim the chakram
and make it whole.

Now, I am flesh again,
and it feels so good!

What do you want from us?

A simple favor.

It is written that only
a descendant of Xena

can release me
back into the world.

I want out.

Of course,
I'm a descendant of Xena.

You can forget it, Ares.

The world doesn't need
any more of you.

Silly girl.

I don't need you.

You just said...

Oh, you are related to
someone in the scrolls,

but it's not Xena.

Who?

I'll give you a hint:

think 'irritating blonde'.

You want it?
Come and get it!

Wrong blonde.

You all right?

I'm great.
I, I can't see, but, I'm good.

Try using both eyes.

Oh yeah, that's better

Think you can stand?

You mean, I'm not?

Come on!
There you go.

By the gods!

What is it?

You are beautiful!

Heir apparent.

It's time, Melinda.

Release me and I will
regain all my powers

my godhood.

If the world thinks
it knows death

and destruction now

wait till they get a load of me!

Think again, Ares.

Xena-- it's been too long.

Not long enough.

Get outta here.

Let's blow.
Come on!

I'm in your blood.

You know you can't fight me.

Ares, the answer is no.

Why don't you

just give me what I've
wanted for centuries?

Enjoy.

You can run, Xena!

But you can't hide.

You all right?

Good.

You are Xena.

Mel is your descendant.

How could I think it was me?

My father's a thief.

My mother,
she ran out on us.

And I'm related to the
useless tag-along, Gabrielle.

Now, you listen to me.
Gabrielle was never useless.

She cared for others
more than herself.

Terreis!

Hold on.

She was the finest friend
anyone could ever have.

No, no, come on, Gabrielle.
Come on, come on.

Don't leave me.
Don't you leave me!

Don't leave me.
Don't leave me.

Wake up! Wake up!

Wake up!

You make her
sound important.

She is to me.

Be proud you're part
of her family. I am.

Gabrielle,

I want you to
understand something.

We both have families
we were born into.

But sometimes families change,
and we have to build our own.

For me, our friendship binds
us closer than blood ever could.

For me, too.

I've gotta get back there,
put Ares back

where he belongs.

Could you use some help?

Come on.

What, were you two Janes just
going to leave me in there?

No, that'd be awful.

People are trying
to rest in there.

Yeah, 'cause, funny.

Wait here.

Xena-- nice of you to show up.

Now, release me or, uh-- they die.

There's no room in this world
for you anymore, Ares.

Oh, you're wrong.

The world's become
a glorious place.

The weapons
more lethal.

The people
more hateful.

And there's a new leader.

A lot of vision,
a lot of potential.

His name is...
Hitler.

With my help,

he's gonna make a
lot of positive changes.

The eye of Hephaestus
it holds me here.

You strike it with your
chakram and set me free.

You have no choice, Xena.
Do it!

All right, but you're
not going anywhere

till they're safe.

Of course.
I'm a-- god of honor.

What the?
Ball!

I'm way ahead of you, Xena.

Yes! Freedom!
Later.

It is later, Ares.

Not now, Xena.

This has been fun, but, really.

You never give up, do ya?

Get outta here, run!

You could'a had it all,
but now I'm mad.

Both of you at the same time?
Why not?

Doc-- the door!

Run!

I can't hold it!

Run!

Oh, my.

Doc! The door! Let's blow!

Come on!

No!

This'll keep Ares busy
for a while.

Sayonara, sucker!

All right, Jack

You wanna join me
on my next dig?

Sorry, sweety,
I got things.

You know... things.

Don't say it, baby.

You're something else.

You're a swell-looking tomato
with a nice set of gambs,

but baby-- I gotta go-- Dig?

Yeah, I dig.

You were right.

I was, about what?

We were both living in
our father's shadows.

Well, maybe it's time that
we both stepped out into

the world and showed
them what we can do.

Together?

Well, not if you
don't want-- to.

Come on.

You can give me a hand.

Then they start this
chanting, right?

Kanda, kanda, ka--

I'm not married to her.
Kanda, kanda-- right?

Then this big, worm-eaten,

scary dude comes out
from behind and goes,

Done it.

Rob-- dude, man,
I mean-- listen.

I gotta go to Warner's
in an hour with this,

and I might have to give
this thing to 'em, you know?

Then go. Tell Bugs I said hello.

All right, listen.
Dude-- I wasn't even gonna

show this to you.
All right.

These are the scrolls, man.

Scrolls? What scrolls?

The Xena Scrolls.
It's about this guy, Joxer.

These were in my
grandfather's attic,

and he had 'em
translated, dude.

I mean, listen. We
don't have to make

this thing like big
budget, you know?

We can shoot this in a third-world
country, using the locals.

And for the lead guy,
Joxer, I'm thinking

Matt LeBlanc, if he's
available you know?

It's good,
I like, it's good.

You, what do you think?

Pretty interesting stuff.

Tell me more
about this Xena.

She was Xena.
A mighty princess,

forged in the
heat of battle.