All language subtitles for The Simpsons s32e01_English

af Afrikaans
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bn Bengali
bs Bosnian
bg Bulgarian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch Download
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
km Khmer
ko Korean
ku Kurdish (Kurmanji)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Lao
la Latin
lv Latvian
lt Lithuanian
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
ne Nepali
no Norwegian
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt Portuguese
pa Punjabi
ro Romanian
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
st Sesotho
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhala
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
te Telugu
th Thai
tr Turkish
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
or Odia (Oriya)
rw Kinyarwanda
tk Turkmen
tt Tatar
ug Uyghur
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,607 --> 00:00:08,208 ♪ ♪ 2 00:00:08,275 --> 00:00:09,643 D'oh! 3 00:00:10,811 --> 00:00:12,246 (grunts) 4 00:00:14,414 --> 00:00:17,084 Haw�haw! Green screen. 5 00:00:24,191 --> 00:00:26,193 ♪ ♪ 6 00:00:39,206 --> 00:00:41,475 Lenny, I didn't know you had kids. 7 00:00:41,542 --> 00:00:42,809 I don't. 8 00:00:42,876 --> 00:00:44,811 I hired them to look like I'm a family man. 9 00:00:44,878 --> 00:00:46,813 How you doing, Lenny Jr.? 10 00:00:46,880 --> 00:00:49,216 Never better, Lenny Sr. 11 00:00:49,283 --> 00:00:51,184 - (phone chimes) - Hey, I just got cast 12 00:00:51,251 --> 00:00:52,886 as Krusty's kid at a custody hearing. 13 00:00:52,953 --> 00:00:54,121 Possible recurring. 14 00:00:54,187 --> 00:00:56,423 Later, loser! 15 00:00:56,490 --> 00:00:58,125 (chuckles) Kids. 16 00:00:58,191 --> 00:00:59,560 (feedback screeches) 17 00:00:59,626 --> 00:01:01,695 Welcome, iso�tots. (chuckles) 18 00:01:01,762 --> 00:01:03,196 Are you having fun? 19 00:01:03,263 --> 00:01:05,365 KIDS: Yay! 20 00:01:05,432 --> 00:01:08,335 Excellent. Now, as your parents leave you alone with me, 21 00:01:08,402 --> 00:01:11,138 let's begin the festivities. (chuckles) 22 00:01:11,204 --> 00:01:13,106 ♪ ♪ 23 00:01:13,173 --> 00:01:15,075 Yes, there they go. Bye�bye. 24 00:01:15,142 --> 00:01:17,144 Last mommy out. Excellent. 25 00:01:17,210 --> 00:01:18,579 I now declare the start 26 00:01:18,645 --> 00:01:21,415 of Put Your Kids to Work Day. 27 00:01:21,481 --> 00:01:22,849 ♪ ♪ 28 00:01:28,822 --> 00:01:30,824 (gasping, screaming) 29 00:01:34,328 --> 00:01:36,463 (screaming) 30 00:01:46,306 --> 00:01:49,876 This plant has over 17,000 contaminated crevices 31 00:01:49,943 --> 00:01:52,312 that only your tiny hands can reach. 32 00:01:52,379 --> 00:01:53,747 Get to work, slackers. 33 00:01:53,814 --> 00:01:56,116 At least this ride doesn't have a creepy song. 34 00:01:56,183 --> 00:01:59,419 ♪ You'll work for me, or you'll get the lash ♪ 35 00:01:59,486 --> 00:02:03,323 ♪ You won't get dental, health or cash. ♪ 36 00:02:03,390 --> 00:02:05,525 No! 37 00:02:05,592 --> 00:02:09,463 Even Mr. Burns can't get away with this. 38 00:02:10,797 --> 00:02:12,666 Oh, Monty, you've still got it. 39 00:02:12,733 --> 00:02:15,235 That was like taking eight hours of work from a baby. 40 00:02:15,302 --> 00:02:18,572 Mr. Burns, according to the child labor laws 41 00:02:18,639 --> 00:02:20,107 of the United States... 42 00:02:20,173 --> 00:02:22,075 Aah! Accountability? 43 00:02:24,678 --> 00:02:27,114 In this game of cat and mouse, 44 00:02:27,180 --> 00:02:29,683 I'm afraid Mr. Mouse is far smarter than... 45 00:02:29,750 --> 00:02:31,118 (screams) 46 00:02:31,184 --> 00:02:33,220 LISA: I know you're in here, 47 00:02:33,286 --> 00:02:34,521 and nothing will stop me. 48 00:02:34,588 --> 00:02:36,423 Wait, this is a men's room. 49 00:02:36,490 --> 00:02:38,091 Ew, ew, ew! 50 00:02:38,158 --> 00:02:40,694 Is that a tuna sandwich on the sink? 51 00:02:40,761 --> 00:02:44,197 Ugh! Gross, gross, gross! 52 00:02:45,932 --> 00:02:49,102 Oh, employee cave drawings. 53 00:02:49,169 --> 00:02:50,680 Let's see what's on their feeble minds. 54 00:02:50,704 --> 00:02:53,240 "There once was a lady from China..." (mumbles) 55 00:02:53,306 --> 00:02:54,875 "And North Carolina." 56 00:02:54,941 --> 00:02:56,743 I assume what's in between is unimportant. 57 00:02:56,810 --> 00:02:58,879 (laughs) There! 58 00:02:58,945 --> 00:03:01,248 Someone drew a big, crying cucumber. That's nice. 59 00:03:01,314 --> 00:03:03,417 Ooh! Something about me. 60 00:03:03,483 --> 00:03:06,053 I'll need my cheaters for this. 61 00:03:06,119 --> 00:03:07,454 - ♪ ♪ - (gasping) 62 00:03:09,256 --> 00:03:11,058 What? 63 00:03:11,124 --> 00:03:12,626 Oh! 64 00:03:14,394 --> 00:03:16,229 Oh! They hate me. 65 00:03:16,296 --> 00:03:18,765 Well, maybe things are better in the ladies' room. 66 00:03:19,900 --> 00:03:22,102 Effigies can be burned? 67 00:03:22,169 --> 00:03:23,246 (exhales) You should have seen 68 00:03:23,270 --> 00:03:25,172 those hateful graffitos, Smithers. 69 00:03:25,238 --> 00:03:27,107 And the drawing of me was so off�model. 70 00:03:27,174 --> 00:03:29,109 I wouldn't worry, sir. 71 00:03:29,176 --> 00:03:30,043 Our workers are pretty well�pacified. 72 00:03:30,110 --> 00:03:33,113 - Intimidation. - Alleged intimidation. 73 00:03:34,281 --> 00:03:37,751 - Beatings. - Alleged beatings. Mm. 74 00:03:37,818 --> 00:03:39,252 The poisonings. 75 00:03:39,319 --> 00:03:40,787 Ah, yes. 76 00:03:40,854 --> 00:03:43,623 We've had some alleged good times, haven't we, Smithers? 77 00:03:43,690 --> 00:03:47,127 But there is an undercurrent of contempt for me. 78 00:03:47,194 --> 00:03:48,562 No, there isn't. 79 00:03:48,628 --> 00:03:50,864 You said Burns is worse than Hitler. 80 00:03:50,931 --> 00:03:52,532 Well, not worse at his job than Hitler, 81 00:03:52,599 --> 00:03:53,633 but a worse person. 82 00:03:53,700 --> 00:03:54,868 (whistle blows) 83 00:03:54,935 --> 00:03:56,369 Huh. Was that the work whistle? 84 00:03:56,436 --> 00:03:58,438 Eh, who cares. 85 00:03:58,505 --> 00:04:01,041 (scoffs) Everywhere, I'm surrounded by malcontents, 86 00:04:01,108 --> 00:04:02,576 termagants and Lennys. 87 00:04:02,642 --> 00:04:05,545 Well, we could show the workers some actual respect, 88 00:04:05,612 --> 00:04:06,972 uh, considering how many have died. 89 00:04:09,149 --> 00:04:12,419 Or I could go undercover and infiltrate the workers. 90 00:04:12,486 --> 00:04:14,421 I'm beginning to suspect 91 00:04:14,488 --> 00:04:16,389 these monitors have been tampered with. 92 00:04:17,891 --> 00:04:18,692 I've assembled a world�class team 93 00:04:18,759 --> 00:04:21,061 to create your undercover disguise. 94 00:04:21,128 --> 00:04:24,064 The face mask specialist from the Mission: Impossible movies. 95 00:04:24,131 --> 00:04:27,367 I made Ving Rhames look like Kristin Chenoweth. 96 00:04:27,434 --> 00:04:29,703 I don't know any of those words, but I'm impressed. 97 00:04:29,770 --> 00:04:32,372 We'll also provide you with a dynamic new body. 98 00:04:32,439 --> 00:04:35,742 Ooh. Does everything work? 99 00:04:35,809 --> 00:04:37,511 Everything that works for you now. 100 00:04:37,577 --> 00:04:39,746 Damn it! That's only two things. 101 00:04:39,813 --> 00:04:42,749 And we top off the disguise with a voice modulation chip. 102 00:04:42,816 --> 00:04:44,851 Mr. Burns, I'm gonna make you sound... 103 00:04:44,918 --> 00:04:47,721 (deep voice): hella different. 104 00:04:47,788 --> 00:04:49,790 Oh, yeah. 105 00:04:49,856 --> 00:04:52,292 Let's get to work. (grunts) 106 00:04:52,359 --> 00:04:54,628 (dramatic action music playing) 107 00:04:55,796 --> 00:04:58,165 Oh, my God. It's extraordinary. 108 00:04:58,231 --> 00:05:01,802 You now have the body and face of a man half your age. 109 00:05:01,868 --> 00:05:04,104 BURNS: 78? Now, enough gallimaufry. 110 00:05:04,171 --> 00:05:05,405 I want to see my reflection. 111 00:05:05,472 --> 00:05:07,073 Someone bring me a mountain stream. 112 00:05:07,874 --> 00:05:10,710 Say goodbye to Montgomery Burns. 113 00:05:10,777 --> 00:05:14,815 Say hello to Fred Kranepool from turbine maintenance. 114 00:05:14,881 --> 00:05:16,483 (whirring) 115 00:05:17,450 --> 00:05:19,052 (deep voice): Excellent. 116 00:05:24,624 --> 00:05:26,827 Hello, Joe. What do you know? 117 00:05:26,893 --> 00:05:28,428 Just got back from the picture show. 118 00:05:28,495 --> 00:05:29,729 Beat it, weirdo. 119 00:05:29,796 --> 00:05:31,198 You're fired. 120 00:05:31,264 --> 00:05:32,666 You can't fire me. 121 00:05:32,732 --> 00:05:35,068 HOMER: Hey, newbie. Over here. 122 00:05:36,269 --> 00:05:37,737 (chuckles) Homer Simpson. 123 00:05:37,804 --> 00:05:39,706 Fred. Uh... 124 00:05:39,773 --> 00:05:41,241 No, that's not it. 125 00:05:42,676 --> 00:05:44,344 Fred Kranepool. 126 00:05:44,411 --> 00:05:47,113 You seem like a happy lot here at the nuclear plant, 127 00:05:47,180 --> 00:05:48,782 suckling from the teat 128 00:05:48,849 --> 00:05:51,585 of the great C. Montgomery Burns. 129 00:05:51,651 --> 00:05:53,787 (laughs) You said "teat." 130 00:05:53,854 --> 00:05:57,290 (laughs) Yes, I did, didn't I? 131 00:05:57,357 --> 00:05:58,758 (chuckles) Now that we're chums, 132 00:05:58,825 --> 00:06:00,193 what's on your mind? 133 00:06:00,260 --> 00:06:02,662 Any complaints? Insubordinate remarks? 134 00:06:02,729 --> 00:06:04,340 LENNY: Actually, now that you mention it... 135 00:06:04,364 --> 00:06:06,199 - Yes...? - (work whistle blows) 136 00:06:07,434 --> 00:06:08,802 Uh�oh. Better get back to work. 137 00:06:08,869 --> 00:06:10,370 Ah, so soon? 138 00:06:10,437 --> 00:06:12,305 (sighs) Sorry, but Mr. Burns has a special way 139 00:06:12,372 --> 00:06:14,074 of telling you your lunchtime's over. 140 00:06:14,140 --> 00:06:15,408 (hounds barking) 141 00:06:15,475 --> 00:06:16,810 (screaming) 142 00:06:17,878 --> 00:06:19,246 (growling) 143 00:06:19,312 --> 00:06:20,647 I heard the craziest thing. 144 00:06:20,714 --> 00:06:23,250 Some nuclear plants don't have hounds chasing you. 145 00:06:23,316 --> 00:06:25,051 Eh, different world. 146 00:06:25,118 --> 00:06:27,120 (hounds snarling) 147 00:06:29,823 --> 00:06:32,158 Huh. I guess when you're on the other side of it, 148 00:06:32,225 --> 00:06:34,427 releasing hounds can be cruel? 149 00:06:34,494 --> 00:06:36,496 Oh, yeah. Super cruel. 150 00:06:36,563 --> 00:06:38,603 I had to get rabies shots in my stomach for a month. 151 00:06:38,665 --> 00:06:41,201 Skipped the last couple. 152 00:06:41,268 --> 00:06:44,537 Ugh, you poor guys. Here, please. 153 00:06:44,604 --> 00:06:47,173 Here's a Buffalo nickel for each of you. 154 00:06:47,240 --> 00:06:48,575 Hey, thanks a lot, man. 155 00:06:48,642 --> 00:06:50,577 Why don't you join us at Moe's tonight? 156 00:06:50,644 --> 00:06:52,579 Moe's? 157 00:06:52,646 --> 00:06:54,414 Yeah, it's that bar that was featured 158 00:06:54,481 --> 00:06:56,249 on I'll Drink What Phil's Drinking 159 00:06:56,316 --> 00:06:57,784 with Phil Rosenthal. 160 00:06:57,851 --> 00:07:00,787 Mmm. What animal is this egg from? 161 00:07:00,854 --> 00:07:03,523 Uh, I want to say horse? 162 00:07:03,590 --> 00:07:05,792 Oh. Could I be sick in this? 163 00:07:05,859 --> 00:07:07,661 Oh... (retching) 164 00:07:07,727 --> 00:07:10,130 Somebody take Phil to the hospital. 165 00:07:10,196 --> 00:07:12,332 Fred, buddy, you coming? 166 00:07:12,399 --> 00:07:15,135 I'm in. Just need to signal Smithers. 167 00:07:15,201 --> 00:07:17,137 (sultry action music playing) 168 00:07:25,612 --> 00:07:27,580 (sighs) I hate that signal. 169 00:07:27,647 --> 00:07:29,683 Moe, this is our new pal Fred. 170 00:07:29,749 --> 00:07:31,718 Apparently, we've been working with him for years. 171 00:07:31,785 --> 00:07:33,386 We never noticed. 172 00:07:33,453 --> 00:07:35,588 Set him up with a beer. On me. 173 00:07:37,791 --> 00:07:40,226 �(shouts, wailing) �Fred! 174 00:07:40,293 --> 00:07:42,662 (sighs) Thank you, friend. 175 00:07:42,729 --> 00:07:44,264 I like the way you said that, 176 00:07:44,331 --> 00:07:47,734 like it was a foreign concept or something. 177 00:07:49,669 --> 00:07:51,604 (laughs) You know, 178 00:07:51,671 --> 00:07:54,074 it might be John Barleycorn talking, 179 00:07:54,140 --> 00:07:56,843 but you annoying fleas aren't half bad. 180 00:07:56,910 --> 00:08:00,080 All we're looking for is a little friendship and respect. 181 00:08:00,146 --> 00:08:01,047 Mm�hmm. 182 00:08:01,114 --> 00:08:02,048 All right. 183 00:08:02,115 --> 00:08:03,650 To friendship and respect. 184 00:08:03,717 --> 00:08:07,020 And also evil. I mean, I mean, football. 185 00:08:07,087 --> 00:08:09,189 ALL: Football! 186 00:08:09,255 --> 00:08:12,058 (cackles) 187 00:08:12,125 --> 00:08:14,561 Ah, whoa, whoa. Sorry, Barn. Your seat's taken. 188 00:08:14,627 --> 00:08:16,563 Oh, you show up late 189 00:08:16,629 --> 00:08:19,466 for your nightly bender just once... 190 00:08:19,532 --> 00:08:21,034 Uh, don't you worry. 191 00:08:21,101 --> 00:08:24,571 I just instituted drive�through service. 192 00:08:24,637 --> 00:08:27,107 Drive safely. 193 00:08:27,173 --> 00:08:29,309 ♪ Why can't we be friends? ♪ 194 00:08:29,376 --> 00:08:32,112 ♪ Why can't we be friends? ♪ 195 00:08:32,178 --> 00:08:35,148 ♪ Why can't we be friends? ♪ 196 00:08:35,215 --> 00:08:37,717 ♪ Why can't we be friends? ♪ 197 00:08:37,784 --> 00:08:42,355 ♪ I see you 'round for a long, long time ♪ 198 00:08:42,422 --> 00:08:43,490 ♪ (laughter) ♪ 199 00:08:43,556 --> 00:08:46,226 ♪ I remember you ♪ 200 00:08:46,292 --> 00:08:48,695 ♪ When you drink my wine ♪ 201 00:08:48,762 --> 00:08:50,230 ♪ Why can't we be friends? ♪ 202 00:08:50,296 --> 00:08:53,433 ♪ Why can't we be friends? ♪ 203 00:08:53,500 --> 00:08:55,835 ♪ Why can't we be friends? ♪ 204 00:08:55,902 --> 00:08:59,406 ♪ Why can't we be friends? ♪ 205 00:08:59,472 --> 00:09:01,541 Thank you. Thank you very much. 206 00:09:01,608 --> 00:09:03,543 Okay, um, your turn to sing, Fred. 207 00:09:03,610 --> 00:09:05,512 (chanting): Fred! Fred! Fred! 208 00:09:05,578 --> 00:09:07,480 (chuckles) Very well. 209 00:09:07,547 --> 00:09:10,016 I've got a toe�tapper everyone can sing along with, 210 00:09:10,083 --> 00:09:12,452 "The Spaniard That Blighted My Life." 211 00:09:12,519 --> 00:09:15,455 "The Spaniard That Blighted My Life," BLH1493. Go. 212 00:09:15,522 --> 00:09:18,525 ♪ List to me, while I tell you ♪ 213 00:09:18,591 --> 00:09:20,360 ♪ Of the Spaniard that blighted my life... ♪ 214 00:09:20,427 --> 00:09:21,561 Everybody! 215 00:09:21,628 --> 00:09:24,164 ♪ List to me, while I tell you ♪ 216 00:09:24,230 --> 00:09:28,034 ♪ Of the man that pinched my future wife. ♪ 217 00:09:28,101 --> 00:09:32,505 BURNS: Those idiots like me for me, Fred Kranepool. 218 00:09:32,572 --> 00:09:34,040 Uh, sir, I'm worried. 219 00:09:34,107 --> 00:09:35,508 The suit just detected a heartbeat. 220 00:09:35,575 --> 00:09:37,644 - I'm turning you off. - (clicks) 221 00:09:37,710 --> 00:09:39,746 - Other button, sir. - Shut up. 222 00:09:47,687 --> 00:09:49,489 Where is he? 223 00:09:49,556 --> 00:09:51,291 I'm supposed to read him his bedtime story. 224 00:09:53,426 --> 00:09:55,495 Smithers, what are you still doing up? 225 00:09:55,562 --> 00:09:58,098 I was worried about you, sir. 226 00:10:00,767 --> 00:10:02,535 Worried? Eh. 227 00:10:02,602 --> 00:10:05,338 I just had the greatest night of my life. 228 00:10:05,405 --> 00:10:07,674 - With my friends. - What? 229 00:10:07,740 --> 00:10:09,509 Oh, you should've seen it, Smithers. 230 00:10:09,576 --> 00:10:11,544 They enjoyed my company. 231 00:10:11,611 --> 00:10:14,347 I've had "frenemies," but they were all French enemies. 232 00:10:14,414 --> 00:10:17,217 Never a friend. 233 00:10:17,283 --> 00:10:19,519 I think of you as more than a friend, sir. 234 00:10:19,586 --> 00:10:20,896 What did I tell you about thinking? 235 00:10:20,920 --> 00:10:23,289 (sighs) Well, did you find anything out? 236 00:10:23,356 --> 00:10:24,858 Any scuttlebutt from the union? 237 00:10:24,924 --> 00:10:28,228 The only union that concerns me now is the union of men. 238 00:10:28,294 --> 00:10:30,230 What would you know about that? 239 00:10:30,296 --> 00:10:31,231 (grumbles) 240 00:10:31,297 --> 00:10:32,432 (Homer humming) 241 00:10:32,499 --> 00:10:35,401 Where have you been? You missed dinner. 242 00:10:35,468 --> 00:10:38,471 There's this really cool new guy at the plant. 243 00:10:38,538 --> 00:10:42,275 You know what's cool is spending time with your family. 244 00:10:42,342 --> 00:10:44,477 - That's not cool. - Yeah, Mom, it really isn't. 245 00:10:44,544 --> 00:10:47,547 I agree with Mom on everything but this. 246 00:10:47,614 --> 00:10:49,482 I'm sorry. Definitely not cool. 247 00:10:49,549 --> 00:10:51,151 Oh, all right, all right. 248 00:10:51,217 --> 00:10:54,320 I just don't trust new people in this town. 249 00:10:54,387 --> 00:10:57,423 Like Lady Gaga? She came, she inspired Lisa 250 00:10:57,490 --> 00:11:00,126 and we never heard from her again. 251 00:11:00,193 --> 00:11:02,095 Who needs friends like that? 252 00:11:03,129 --> 00:11:04,164 So, fellows, 253 00:11:04,230 --> 00:11:06,432 what's on our social agenda tonight? 254 00:11:06,499 --> 00:11:09,235 More galivanting, I hope? 255 00:11:09,302 --> 00:11:11,104 Well, we really should do a little work. 256 00:11:11,171 --> 00:11:13,439 Yeah. I have a whole inbox of unsplit atoms 257 00:11:13,506 --> 00:11:15,108 I haven't gotten to yet. 258 00:11:15,175 --> 00:11:16,676 Fred, are these men bothering you? 259 00:11:16,743 --> 00:11:19,546 - Oh, back off, Smithers. - ALL: Whoa! 260 00:11:19,612 --> 00:11:22,448 I'll box your ears next time you speak to me with such insolence. 261 00:11:22,515 --> 00:11:24,551 Yes, sir. 262 00:11:24,617 --> 00:11:26,719 Oh, my God. 263 00:11:26,786 --> 00:11:29,122 You totally pwned him. 264 00:11:29,189 --> 00:11:31,457 Hmm. I suppose I did pwn him. 265 00:11:31,524 --> 00:11:33,126 I did. 266 00:11:33,193 --> 00:11:34,761 Ugh, that was quite the kerfuffle. 267 00:11:34,827 --> 00:11:37,130 I better go take a three�hour nap. 268 00:11:37,197 --> 00:11:39,341 No, no, wait. While Smithers is off drowning his sorrows 269 00:11:39,365 --> 00:11:42,869 in a pamplemousse Perrier, Burns is unprotected. 270 00:11:42,936 --> 00:11:44,446 This is the perfect time for you to represent us 271 00:11:44,470 --> 00:11:46,272 and hit the old skinflint up 272 00:11:46,339 --> 00:11:47,483 for a decent benefits package. 273 00:11:47,507 --> 00:11:49,375 Me, talk to Burns? 274 00:11:49,442 --> 00:11:51,144 Oh, I wouldn't. I�I couldn't. 275 00:11:51,211 --> 00:11:53,746 He's got the sharpest mind in all 46 states. 276 00:11:53,813 --> 00:11:56,282 Hey, come on, please. For your friends. 277 00:11:56,349 --> 00:11:58,117 I won't let you down. 278 00:11:58,184 --> 00:12:00,286 (robotic): You down, you down, you down. 279 00:12:02,422 --> 00:12:05,124 I'll help you, friends. 280 00:12:05,191 --> 00:12:06,759 FRED VOICE: Don't you understand, Burns? 281 00:12:06,826 --> 00:12:09,062 Without the workers, this plant is nothing. 282 00:12:09,128 --> 00:12:10,396 If you give them respect, 283 00:12:10,463 --> 00:12:12,098 it comes back to you a hundredfold. 284 00:12:12,165 --> 00:12:14,334 (chuckles) Respect the workers? 285 00:12:14,400 --> 00:12:17,670 What next? Put batteries in the smoke detectors? 286 00:12:17,737 --> 00:12:20,440 Have you no heart? 287 00:12:20,506 --> 00:12:22,075 I certainly do. 288 00:12:22,141 --> 00:12:24,677 I'm not flooding this room with mustard gas right now. 289 00:12:24,744 --> 00:12:28,348 I'll give you a chance to tell your buddies that you failed. 290 00:12:28,414 --> 00:12:32,585 But then they might not like me anymore. 291 00:12:32,652 --> 00:12:35,688 You're right. Friendship is something worth treasuring. 292 00:12:35,755 --> 00:12:39,259 Boy, he's really raking Burns over the coals. 293 00:12:39,325 --> 00:12:41,303 Yeah, I like how they're not interrupting each other. 294 00:12:41,327 --> 00:12:43,429 - So polite. - BURNS: Yes, spirits, yes. 295 00:12:43,496 --> 00:12:45,465 I'll give them everything they want. 296 00:12:45,531 --> 00:12:48,134 - (exhales) He said... - We heard everything. 297 00:12:48,201 --> 00:12:49,869 Clearly it was two people talking. 298 00:12:49,936 --> 00:12:51,804 We got to spread the good news. 299 00:12:51,871 --> 00:12:55,475 We love you, big guy. (grunts) 300 00:12:55,541 --> 00:12:58,111 Mr. Burns, what have you done? 301 00:12:58,177 --> 00:13:00,179 There is no Mr. Burns. 302 00:13:00,246 --> 00:13:02,081 Only Fred. 303 00:13:02,148 --> 00:13:03,148 What are you saying? 304 00:13:04,617 --> 00:13:06,753 Montgomery Burns died when I put on this suit. 305 00:13:06,819 --> 00:13:08,554 And six other times this week. 306 00:13:08,621 --> 00:13:11,057 Thank God for the new liver and kidneys. 307 00:13:11,124 --> 00:13:14,394 Wait up, guys! Beers are on me! 308 00:13:14,460 --> 00:13:15,762 I might have two tonight. 309 00:13:15,828 --> 00:13:18,064 That's right: two sips! 310 00:13:18,131 --> 00:13:20,133 (laughs) 311 00:13:22,402 --> 00:13:24,137 Hope you're hungry, Homer. 312 00:13:24,203 --> 00:13:27,140 I got up at 2:00 a. m. and slow�roasted a breakfast turkey. 313 00:13:27,206 --> 00:13:29,342 Sorry, no time for food. I got to get to work. 314 00:13:33,579 --> 00:13:35,848 (squeaking) 315 00:13:35,915 --> 00:13:38,251 When did Homer turn into someone who wants to go into work? 316 00:13:38,318 --> 00:13:40,219 Oh, no. It's in the air. 317 00:13:40,286 --> 00:13:43,122 Now I want to go to school and make something of myself. 318 00:13:43,189 --> 00:13:45,258 Ooh. (babbles musically) 319 00:13:45,325 --> 00:13:47,260 Hey, work is amazing now. 320 00:13:47,327 --> 00:13:50,196 A magical place where we get what we deserve and more. 321 00:13:50,263 --> 00:13:52,231 And it's all due to Fred. 322 00:13:52,298 --> 00:13:55,134 Okay, so when are we gonna meet this Fred? 323 00:13:55,201 --> 00:13:57,203 Oh, you've already met him, Marge, 324 00:13:57,270 --> 00:13:59,706 in the smile on my face. 325 00:13:59,772 --> 00:14:01,741 (whistling) 326 00:14:01,808 --> 00:14:04,077 - (door closes) - Should we tell him it's a Saturday? 327 00:14:04,143 --> 00:14:05,712 Eh, not yet. 328 00:14:05,778 --> 00:14:08,247 At least we'll get some of the roast turkey for once. 329 00:14:08,314 --> 00:14:10,583 ♪ I don't want to work ♪ 330 00:14:10,650 --> 00:14:14,821 ♪ I want to bang on the drum all day ♪ 331 00:14:14,887 --> 00:14:17,256 ♪ I don't want to play ♪ 332 00:14:17,323 --> 00:14:21,160 ♪ I just want to bang on the drum all day ♪ 333 00:14:22,261 --> 00:14:23,730 ♪ I don't want to work... ♪ 334 00:14:23,796 --> 00:14:26,532 ♪ I want to bang on the drum all day ♪ 335 00:14:26,599 --> 00:14:29,135 Hey, Homer. Look what Fred made Burns give us 336 00:14:29,202 --> 00:14:30,570 to handle plutonium. 337 00:14:30,636 --> 00:14:32,739 Look at me. I'm Audrey Hepburn. 338 00:14:37,410 --> 00:14:39,545 Lenny Leonard, you have exquisite vision 339 00:14:39,612 --> 00:14:40,813 and you know it. Give me those. 340 00:14:40,880 --> 00:14:43,783 Oh, I don't care what you think, 'cause Fred doesn't like you. 341 00:14:43,850 --> 00:14:45,585 And once Fred gets around to it, 342 00:14:45,651 --> 00:14:48,121 you ain't gonna be working here no more. 343 00:14:51,524 --> 00:14:53,126 I've had enough. Simpson, come with me. 344 00:14:53,192 --> 00:14:54,360 What the...? 345 00:14:54,427 --> 00:14:57,263 There's something you don't know about 346 00:14:57,330 --> 00:14:58,698 your good friend Fred. 347 00:14:58,765 --> 00:15:00,700 I know everything I need to know 348 00:15:00,767 --> 00:15:04,103 about Fred whatshisname from wherever he comes. 349 00:15:09,308 --> 00:15:12,178 (gasps) Oh, my God. 350 00:15:12,245 --> 00:15:14,480 That's right. Fred is Mr. Burns. 351 00:15:14,547 --> 00:15:16,649 But wait a minute. Isn't that a good thing? 352 00:15:16,716 --> 00:15:18,551 It means he's nice to us now. 353 00:15:18,618 --> 00:15:20,586 His niceness is gonna put us out of business. 354 00:15:20,653 --> 00:15:23,189 These giveaways are bankrupting us. 355 00:15:23,256 --> 00:15:24,400 What should we give our friends next, Fred? 356 00:15:24,424 --> 00:15:27,193 Morning yoga? Irish brides? 357 00:15:27,260 --> 00:15:29,695 Okay, maybe the yoga is going too far. 358 00:15:29,762 --> 00:15:31,230 It's all too far. 359 00:15:31,297 --> 00:15:32,441 We're gonna go the way of the Sears catalog 360 00:15:32,465 --> 00:15:34,066 and 20th Century Fox. 361 00:15:34,133 --> 00:15:38,171 Are you sure this isn't because you miss the old Burns? 362 00:15:38,237 --> 00:15:40,673 Of course I miss him. Who wouldn't? 363 00:15:40,740 --> 00:15:42,442 Simpson, if you care about your job, 364 00:15:42,508 --> 00:15:44,243 and the jobs of everyone in this plant, 365 00:15:44,310 --> 00:15:46,412 you'll end your friendship with Mr. Burns. 366 00:15:46,479 --> 00:15:48,414 - Permanently. - No problem. 367 00:15:48,481 --> 00:15:50,616 As long as I'm still friends with Fred. 368 00:15:50,683 --> 00:15:52,585 Burns is Fred. 369 00:15:52,652 --> 00:15:55,588 Wha...? Oh, he is not. 370 00:16:00,293 --> 00:16:02,795 - What's wrong, Homie? - Mm, not much. 371 00:16:02,862 --> 00:16:06,165 I lost a friend today because Burns stepped out of him. 372 00:16:06,232 --> 00:16:08,167 - What? - Well, let's just say 373 00:16:08,234 --> 00:16:09,378 I can't be friends with Fred anymore 374 00:16:09,402 --> 00:16:11,070 but I don't know how to tell him. 375 00:16:11,137 --> 00:16:12,572 Well, don't ask me. I suck at it. 376 00:16:12,638 --> 00:16:14,173 That's why I can't shake Milhouse. 377 00:16:14,240 --> 00:16:16,242 I'm right here, Bart. 378 00:16:16,309 --> 00:16:18,344 Our sleepover ended two days ago. 379 00:16:18,411 --> 00:16:20,546 I'll call my mom again. 380 00:16:20,613 --> 00:16:22,615 ♪ ♪ 381 00:16:29,255 --> 00:16:31,724 - Hey, Fred. - Ahoy�hoy. 382 00:16:31,791 --> 00:16:34,227 Listen, Fred, we can't really hang out with you anymore. 383 00:16:34,293 --> 00:16:38,564 No offense. I mean, it's just that I got to focus on work. 384 00:16:40,166 --> 00:16:43,603 My console's under here somewhere. 385 00:16:43,669 --> 00:16:45,137 Hey, Fred! 386 00:16:45,204 --> 00:16:46,364 - The man of the hour. - Oh... 387 00:16:46,405 --> 00:16:48,774 We were just working on a list of new things 388 00:16:48,841 --> 00:16:50,776 you can get Old Man Burns to give us. 389 00:16:50,843 --> 00:16:53,212 What do you mean "Old Man Burns"? 390 00:16:53,279 --> 00:16:55,248 (laughs) I mean, he's so old. 391 00:16:55,314 --> 00:16:57,183 Fossilized scarecrow. 392 00:16:57,250 --> 00:17:01,320 You know, I've never seen Fred and Burns at the same time. 393 00:17:01,387 --> 00:17:03,623 Which means you must hate Burns, too. 394 00:17:03,689 --> 00:17:06,526 Ooh, well, we�we don't really hate him. 395 00:17:06,592 --> 00:17:08,194 Mr. Burns is a withered old corn husk 396 00:17:08,261 --> 00:17:10,162 with a rotten apple for a head, 397 00:17:10,229 --> 00:17:11,573 and I'm getting special clogs made up 398 00:17:11,597 --> 00:17:13,199 so I can Riverdance on his grave. 399 00:17:13,266 --> 00:17:15,268 (babbles musically) 400 00:17:16,769 --> 00:17:18,738 You ungrateful jackals. 401 00:17:18,804 --> 00:17:20,640 Smithers, where's the kill button? 402 00:17:20,706 --> 00:17:22,475 Um, there isn't one, sir. 403 00:17:22,542 --> 00:17:24,477 How many times have I told you, 404 00:17:24,544 --> 00:17:26,579 everything must have a kill button? 405 00:17:26,646 --> 00:17:29,181 Unhand me, you ape! 406 00:17:29,248 --> 00:17:31,584 Why am I always referred to as an ape? 407 00:17:31,651 --> 00:17:34,220 Never a gorilla or an orangutan. 408 00:17:34,287 --> 00:17:36,389 Aw, monkey want a banana? 409 00:17:36,455 --> 00:17:40,226 (grunts) Why, you incredibly complex... 410 00:17:41,627 --> 00:17:43,563 (crying): I�I thought 411 00:17:43,629 --> 00:17:45,131 you were 412 00:17:45,197 --> 00:17:46,732 my friends. 413 00:17:47,767 --> 00:17:50,102 Huh. Someone's having a day. 414 00:17:50,169 --> 00:17:52,138 ♪ ♪ 415 00:17:53,439 --> 00:17:55,174 Fred, you traitor. 416 00:17:55,241 --> 00:17:57,109 You've turned my employees against me. 417 00:17:57,176 --> 00:17:59,145 Yeah, but they love me. 418 00:17:59,211 --> 00:18:01,147 And soon, there'll be no you. 419 00:18:01,213 --> 00:18:03,215 Just Fred! 420 00:18:06,452 --> 00:18:09,055 ♪ ♪ 421 00:18:09,121 --> 00:18:13,025 As all my attorneys keep telling me, why won't you die? 422 00:18:13,092 --> 00:18:16,495 Because I'm the last spark of goodness in you. 423 00:18:16,562 --> 00:18:18,564 It can't be extinguished! 424 00:18:18,631 --> 00:18:20,533 I'm glad I went to the bathroom in you. 425 00:18:20,600 --> 00:18:22,068 En garde. 426 00:18:25,237 --> 00:18:27,106 (grunts) 427 00:18:29,141 --> 00:18:32,712 (straining): Die, die. D�Die, die. 428 00:18:32,778 --> 00:18:35,581 It's okay, Mr. Burns. Fred's gone. 429 00:18:36,582 --> 00:18:39,418 Oh, why can't I be loved and feared? 430 00:18:39,485 --> 00:18:41,587 - Like God? - Why? 431 00:18:41,654 --> 00:18:44,056 Because you're the boss, we're the workers. 432 00:18:44,123 --> 00:18:46,058 It goes back to caveman days. 433 00:18:46,125 --> 00:18:49,061 Ten guys killed the mammoth while the boss yelled at them. 434 00:18:49,128 --> 00:18:52,431 Then the boss got all the meat and they got all the toenails. 435 00:18:52,498 --> 00:18:56,369 Because that's the way life works. 436 00:18:56,435 --> 00:18:59,105 Next came the Renaissance, and the invention of the time clock, 437 00:18:59,171 --> 00:19:01,507 which meant the boss no longer had to waste time 438 00:19:01,574 --> 00:19:03,075 checking on his employees 439 00:19:03,142 --> 00:19:05,378 and could become pope and marry his sister. 440 00:19:05,444 --> 00:19:09,649 With recent times came unions and workers' rights. 441 00:19:09,715 --> 00:19:13,052 Which were then taken away in even more recent times. 442 00:19:13,119 --> 00:19:14,520 Wrap it up, Homer. 443 00:19:14,587 --> 00:19:16,022 That catwalk is starting to buckle. 444 00:19:16,088 --> 00:19:18,157 (metal creaking) 445 00:19:18,224 --> 00:19:20,493 My point is, no matter what, Mr. Burns, 446 00:19:20,559 --> 00:19:24,096 the boss sucks, so why shouldn't you? 447 00:19:24,163 --> 00:19:26,732 �(blows raspberry) �Why indeed. 448 00:19:26,799 --> 00:19:29,168 Back to work, and everything nice is canceled. 449 00:19:29,235 --> 00:19:31,570 - Um, does that include... - If you have to ask, 450 00:19:31,637 --> 00:19:33,039 it's canceled. 451 00:19:33,105 --> 00:19:35,374 And Fred, the man I could've been, 452 00:19:35,441 --> 00:19:38,811 I consign to the fires of hell. 453 00:19:41,147 --> 00:19:43,582 (screeches) 454 00:19:43,649 --> 00:19:46,118 Somebody stop it. No, no, no, too late. 455 00:19:46,185 --> 00:19:49,155 - Oh, poor Fred. - It's a costume, you idiot. 456 00:19:49,221 --> 00:19:51,357 A lot of work goes into those. 457 00:19:51,424 --> 00:19:53,659 - Good to have you back, sir. - (chuckles) 458 00:19:53,726 --> 00:19:55,227 Good to�� Oh, Smithers. 459 00:19:55,294 --> 00:19:57,596 I left my car fob in that suit. Go get it. 460 00:19:57,663 --> 00:19:59,598 But that's certain death, sir. 461 00:19:59,665 --> 00:20:03,502 - Yes, but for you. - You're back. 462 00:20:03,569 --> 00:20:05,671 Or am I? 463 00:20:10,409 --> 00:20:12,411 Attention, everyone. 464 00:20:12,478 --> 00:20:14,213 This is your new coworker Don Phoneyman. 465 00:20:14,280 --> 00:20:16,082 Please show him the ropes. 466 00:20:16,148 --> 00:20:18,084 I'm not going through this again. Come on. 467 00:20:18,150 --> 00:20:20,386 We know it's you, Mr. Burns, and we'll prove it. 468 00:20:20,453 --> 00:20:22,855 Release the hounds. They won't touch you. 469 00:20:22,922 --> 00:20:25,124 (barking) 470 00:20:25,191 --> 00:20:27,126 Well, what do you know? He's real. 471 00:20:27,193 --> 00:20:29,695 I didn't know we could call the hounds. 472 00:20:29,762 --> 00:20:31,597 We can also operate the trapdoor. 473 00:20:31,664 --> 00:20:34,200 (receding): I'll get you for this! 474 00:20:51,383 --> 00:20:53,385 Engage karaoke mode. 475 00:20:53,452 --> 00:20:56,555 ♪ List to me while I tell you ♪ 476 00:20:56,622 --> 00:20:59,225 ♪ Of the Spaniard that blighted my life ♪ 477 00:21:01,160 --> 00:21:04,096 ♪ List to me, while I tell you ♪ 478 00:21:04,163 --> 00:21:07,399 ♪ Of the man that pinched my future wife. ♪ 479 00:21:27,920 --> 00:21:30,222 Shh! 480 00:21:33,292 --> 00:21:35,127 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH 34955

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.