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1
00:01:02,699 --> 00:01:04,292
[TIRES SCREECHING]
2
00:01:37,600 --> 00:01:38,658
[GUNSHOTS]
3
00:01:40,070 --> 00:01:42,300
[CAR HORN HONKING]
4
00:02:50,006 --> 00:02:51,906
[TIRES SCREECHING]
5
00:02:59,949 --> 00:03:03,146
Lucho, you disappoint me.
6
00:03:03,686 --> 00:03:07,281
Birds in little nests agree, remember?
7
00:03:17,901 --> 00:03:20,700
- Stop that man.
- Ah-ah-ah.
8
00:03:20,870 --> 00:03:23,703
No, no, an American citizen abroad
must never forget...
9
00:03:23,873 --> 00:03:26,308
...that he's a loving ambassador
of goodwill.
10
00:03:26,476 --> 00:03:29,844
My error. Could you please tell me
what it is I've hit?
11
00:03:30,013 --> 00:03:32,914
Oh, of course, yes.
This is a very important national monument.
12
00:03:33,082 --> 00:03:35,676
Saint George slaying
the well-known dragon.
13
00:03:36,686 --> 00:03:39,018
That man is wanted
in half the countries in Europe.
14
00:03:39,189 --> 00:03:42,124
I have a warrant for his arrest
in my pocket.
15
00:03:42,292 --> 00:03:44,954
Oh, well, forget it.
It's not gonna do you any good here.
16
00:03:45,128 --> 00:03:48,564
- Don't you realize you crossed the border?
- Border?
17
00:03:48,731 --> 00:03:51,496
Yes. This is the sovereign state
of Ingolstein.
18
00:03:51,668 --> 00:03:53,534
Small but mighty.
19
00:03:53,703 --> 00:03:57,298
- You mean that sentry box--?
- The immigration office.
20
00:03:58,007 --> 00:04:01,307
- And those men in uniform?
- The national guard.
21
00:04:01,477 --> 00:04:02,569
Oh.
22
00:04:02,745 --> 00:04:05,737
I'm afraid, my friend,
the shoe is on the other foot.
23
00:04:05,915 --> 00:04:08,543
You are the fugitive.
24
00:04:09,252 --> 00:04:12,222
Brandishing firearms
and destroying national monuments...
25
00:04:12,388 --> 00:04:15,358
...speeding, violating the frontier.
Tsk, tsk, tsk.
26
00:04:15,525 --> 00:04:18,119
Very disturbing list of offenses, indeed.
27
00:04:18,294 --> 00:04:21,628
Guards, I suggest you do your duty.
28
00:05:23,660 --> 00:05:27,995
Ingolstein.
Where's that? I've never heard of it.
29
00:05:28,164 --> 00:05:30,326
Almost nobody has...
30
00:05:30,500 --> 00:05:34,232
...which probably is the explanation
for its survival.
31
00:05:34,404 --> 00:05:37,066
What about Mr. Kuryakin?
Have you heard from him?
32
00:05:37,240 --> 00:05:38,901
Oh, yes.
33
00:05:40,743 --> 00:05:42,837
Come in, Mr. Kuryakin.
34
00:05:43,012 --> 00:05:45,538
Tell Mr. Solo where you are
and what you can see.
35
00:05:48,618 --> 00:05:52,316
I am speaking to you
from the city jail at Ingolstein.
36
00:05:52,789 --> 00:05:56,225
And from where I stand,
I can see, outside, Lucho Nostra...
37
00:05:58,361 --> 00:06:01,854
...Bullets Malone having an espresso...
38
00:06:02,031 --> 00:06:04,932
...Doc Terwilliger drinking a beer...
39
00:06:05,635 --> 00:06:10,163
...and Joe “The Banker“ Oregano...
40
00:06:10,340 --> 00:06:12,809
...he's having something stronger.
41
00:06:12,975 --> 00:06:15,273
A calvados, perhaps.
42
00:06:15,445 --> 00:06:19,882
Yes. Thank you, Mr. Kuryakin.
I'm sure Mr. Solo gets the picture.
43
00:06:20,049 --> 00:06:22,746
Lucho Nostra, Doc Terwilliger.
44
00:06:22,919 --> 00:06:26,856
They're on our most wanted list.
What are they all doing in Ingolstein?
45
00:06:27,023 --> 00:06:28,115
Well, as it happens...
46
00:06:28,291 --> 00:06:32,455
...Ingolstein has no extradition treaties
of any kind with any other country.
47
00:06:32,628 --> 00:06:33,686
Never has had.
48
00:06:33,863 --> 00:06:39,324
Recently, some clever character
uncovered this fact.
49
00:06:39,502 --> 00:06:41,732
Now Ingolstein
is the impregnable refuge...
50
00:06:41,904 --> 00:06:45,465
...tor half of the most-wanted fugitives
from justice in the entire world.
51
00:06:46,642 --> 00:06:47,871
A rat hole, huh?
52
00:06:48,044 --> 00:06:49,637
Yes, indeed.
53
00:06:49,812 --> 00:06:53,476
And one we must plug without delay.
54
00:06:54,384 --> 00:07:00,118
For this mission, Mr. Solo, will require
a complete diplomatic kit.
55
00:07:01,090 --> 00:07:02,649
Striped trousers.
56
00:07:03,326 --> 00:07:06,626
To meet the chief of police
or whatever he is, huh?
57
00:07:06,796 --> 00:07:09,663
Well, we can expect no assistance
from the local authorities.
58
00:07:10,133 --> 00:07:13,103
Ingolstein is currently
being ruled by the regent.
59
00:07:13,936 --> 00:07:18,772
Prince Fredrick, addicted to cognac,
young ballet dancers, roulette.
60
00:07:18,941 --> 00:07:24,812
Now, you will explain the situation
to the grand duchess herself.
61
00:07:26,282 --> 00:07:30,913
Victoria Adelaide Dagmar
Alexandra Maude Xenia.
62
00:07:31,087 --> 00:07:33,351
That's the lady.
63
00:07:33,523 --> 00:07:35,651
Twenty-third sovereign ruler of the duchy.
64
00:07:35,892 --> 00:07:38,953
“At present, at the Academy
of the Sisters of the Royal Insignae...
65
00:07:39,128 --> 00:07:41,620
...on the outskirts of Paris.“
66
00:07:42,432 --> 00:07:44,332
Paris.
67
00:07:55,812 --> 00:07:57,803
[WOMEN CLAMORING OUTSIDE]
68
00:07:58,181 --> 00:08:01,549
VICKY: Next time you cheat,
I'll hit you twice as hard.
69
00:08:11,060 --> 00:08:12,653
Well, what is it?
70
00:08:17,433 --> 00:08:19,197
I'm in the middle 01a game, you know.
71
00:08:19,869 --> 00:08:21,200
Your Serene Highness.
72
00:08:21,370 --> 00:08:23,771
GIRL:
Hey, stinky, hurry up.
73
00:08:24,607 --> 00:08:27,099
My credentials.
74
00:08:28,611 --> 00:08:30,238
U.N.C.L.E.?
75
00:08:30,713 --> 00:08:33,648
I've been briefed on them, of course.
I know what you represent.
76
00:08:33,816 --> 00:08:36,342
But what could U.N.C.L.E. want with me?
77
00:08:36,519 --> 00:08:39,580
Is it about my country?
Is something wrong in Ingolstein?
78
00:08:39,755 --> 00:08:43,350
Yes. I'm sorry to say, Your Highness,
that we have something very serious.
79
00:08:44,060 --> 00:08:48,224
My uncle Fredrick, the regent, sends me
most comprehensive reports monthly.
80
00:08:48,397 --> 00:08:50,764
I'm not aware of any political crisis.
81
00:08:51,267 --> 00:08:52,860
- May I?
- Yes.
82
00:08:53,035 --> 00:08:56,232
No, not political, Your Highness. Criminal.
83
00:08:56,405 --> 00:08:58,840
But there is no crime in Ingolstein.
84
00:08:59,008 --> 00:09:01,909
Jail hasn't sheltered
anything but mice in years.
85
00:09:02,078 --> 00:09:04,775
They're not using your jails,
Your Highness.
86
00:09:04,947 --> 00:09:06,574
They're using your best hotels...
87
00:09:07,149 --> 00:09:10,175
...your most geml'itlich inns,
your very castle.
88
00:09:10,353 --> 00:09:11,684
Who is?
89
00:09:11,854 --> 00:09:14,653
A coterie of the world's
most dangerous criminals.
90
00:09:14,824 --> 00:09:16,553
Wanted by their own government...
91
00:09:16,726 --> 00:09:19,923
...they're finding, within your country,
complete protection.
92
00:09:20,429 --> 00:09:24,366
No matter what the crime,
Ingolstein is a sanctuary.
93
00:09:24,534 --> 00:09:28,630
I don't believe it. Perhaps you've mistaken
Ingolstein for some other little country.
94
00:09:28,804 --> 00:09:31,865
It happens quite often, you know.
My uncle Fredrick, the regent...
95
00:09:32,041 --> 00:09:34,942
...would never allow such a state of affairs
for one moment.
96
00:09:35,111 --> 00:09:37,409
Your Highness, your uncle, the prince...
97
00:09:37,580 --> 00:09:42,211
...was brought up in the days when dukes
and duchesses had expensive tastes.
98
00:09:42,385 --> 00:09:44,854
Now, I'm sure
that you've heard of those tastes.
99
00:09:45,021 --> 00:09:47,888
And you know they take money,
a great deal of money.
100
00:09:48,057 --> 00:09:51,425
The regent would never
sacrifice the great name of Ingolstein...
101
00:09:51,594 --> 00:09:53,392
...for such things. Never.
102
00:09:54,664 --> 00:09:56,132
How often do you see the prince?
103
00:09:56,599 --> 00:09:59,432
Oh, three or four times a year.
104
00:09:59,602 --> 00:10:01,570
What do you do?
105
00:10:01,737 --> 00:10:06,538
Go to the Eiffel Tower, the Louvre...
106
00:10:07,443 --> 00:10:09,912
...Napoleon's tomb.
107
00:10:13,583 --> 00:10:15,745
I'm sorry, Your Highness.
108
00:10:16,285 --> 00:10:18,219
I shouldn't have brought it up.
109
00:10:18,955 --> 00:10:21,686
- Have you a car?
-01 course.
110
00:10:21,857 --> 00:10:24,918
Well, get it.
We'll go to Ingolstein immediately.
111
00:10:25,094 --> 00:10:26,926
You'll make your apologies there.
112
00:10:37,673 --> 00:10:40,904
[CHURCH BELL RINGING]
113
00:10:54,423 --> 00:10:56,892
“Lovely Ingolstein...
114
00:10:57,059 --> 00:10:59,653
...dominated by its ancient Sch/ass."
115
00:10:59,829 --> 00:11:02,662
LINDA [ON RADIO]:
Oh, Mr- Kan/akin, it sounds so romantic.
116
00:11:02,832 --> 00:11:06,291
- I wish I were there with you.
- So do I, Linda.
117
00:11:08,004 --> 00:11:09,494
[CAR HORN HONKING]
118
00:11:38,300 --> 00:11:40,291
This one should help.
119
00:11:40,469 --> 00:11:42,062
Thanks a lot.
120
00:11:51,247 --> 00:11:53,477
And another one for you.
121
00:12:05,828 --> 00:12:07,227
Gin.
122
00:12:08,130 --> 00:12:09,723
Gin? Again?
123
00:12:09,899 --> 00:12:12,197
That makes another 5000
you owe me, prince.
124
00:12:12,368 --> 00:12:14,097
Make a note of that, will you, honey?
125
00:12:14,603 --> 00:12:17,971
You know, I don't understand it.
Every time we play, you always win.
126
00:12:18,140 --> 00:12:19,574
Do you cheat?
127
00:12:19,742 --> 00:12:22,234
You just sign your John Hemich
right on here, prince.
128
00:12:22,411 --> 00:12:24,436
Just to keep the record straight.
129
00:12:24,613 --> 00:12:25,603
[YAWNS]
130
00:12:26,282 --> 00:12:29,343
It's pretty late.
Shall we call it a day, prince?
131
00:12:29,518 --> 00:12:31,748
Oh, just one more if you don't mind,
Hen King.
132
00:12:31,921 --> 00:12:34,356
Gets rather lonely around here
in this old place.
133
00:12:34,523 --> 00:12:36,855
Just you wait and see.
134
00:12:37,026 --> 00:12:41,793
Another six months,
we'll have this joint jumping.
135
00:12:42,998 --> 00:12:45,865
When I was young,
it was, as you say, jumping.
136
00:12:46,035 --> 00:12:50,063
The castle lit with a thousand candles,
scores of lovely women...
137
00:12:50,239 --> 00:12:54,676
...love, romance,
the sweet sound of violins...
138
00:12:54,844 --> 00:12:59,406
...and my dear cousin, the 21st duchess,
coming to me to start off the ball.
139
00:12:59,582 --> 00:13:01,346
You should have seen us.
140
00:13:01,517 --> 00:13:04,817
[FREDDY 8. ARTIE HUMMING
A WALTZ TUNE]
141
00:13:06,155 --> 00:13:08,021
Uncle Freddy.
142
00:13:11,894 --> 00:13:13,362
Mr. Solo.
143
00:13:13,529 --> 00:13:17,124
- Highness?
- It is I who must apologize.
144
00:13:17,299 --> 00:13:20,701
I thought your accusations unfounded.
145
00:13:20,870 --> 00:13:24,204
But I fear that you understated them.
146
00:13:25,307 --> 00:13:26,638
Who is this?
147
00:13:27,309 --> 00:13:28,538
My dear Vicky--
148
00:13:28,911 --> 00:13:32,142
The name's Artie King.
A pleasure to meet you, duchess.
149
00:13:32,314 --> 00:13:34,180
Get out.
150
00:13:34,683 --> 00:13:36,617
Oh, now, just a moment, young lady.
151
00:13:36,786 --> 00:13:39,756
My rent's paid up till the end of the month.
Right, Freddy?
152
00:13:39,922 --> 00:13:43,085
Now, look, Vicky, you don't understand.
I must talk to you.
153
00:13:43,259 --> 00:13:45,250
No doubt, Uncle Fredrick.
154
00:13:45,427 --> 00:13:47,987
When I have time, I will listen.
155
00:13:48,164 --> 00:13:50,258
But meanwhile, I am taking over.
156
00:13:50,432 --> 00:13:52,992
In the morning.
you shall summon the diplomatic corps...
157
00:13:53,169 --> 00:13:56,230
...and I shall sign
an extradition treaty immediately.
158
00:13:56,405 --> 00:13:58,965
Look here, duchess.
Don't be too hard on the old man.
159
00:13:59,141 --> 00:14:02,634
We finished paying off the national debt,
including delinquent interest...
160
00:14:02,812 --> 00:14:05,304
...back as far as 1903.
161
00:14:05,481 --> 00:14:11,181
“I owe Artie King $5000. Fredrick.“
162
00:14:13,155 --> 00:14:15,180
“I owe...“
163
00:14:15,357 --> 00:14:18,019
I suppose that's what you mean
by the national debt.
164
00:14:18,460 --> 00:14:20,929
You will leave by morning, Mr. King.
165
00:14:21,096 --> 00:14:22,325
Good evening, gentlemen.
166
00:14:22,498 --> 00:14:26,196
Your Highness, my friend is in jail.
167
00:14:26,368 --> 00:14:27,836
Release his friend.
168
00:14:30,806 --> 00:14:33,434
- And Uncle Freddy...
- Yes, Highness?
169
00:14:34,910 --> 00:14:36,469
Put your shoes on.
170
00:14:50,025 --> 00:14:54,053
Well, I've been in worse jails.
Certainly seems clean enough.
171
00:14:54,230 --> 00:14:57,165
You've got a lovely view
of the countryside.
172
00:14:57,766 --> 00:15:00,531
When you're tired of that,
I see you have a little reading.
173
00:15:00,703 --> 00:15:01,864
Edifying? What is it?
174
00:15:02,037 --> 00:15:05,598
It's the complete history of Ingolstein
from Saint George to the present day.
175
00:15:05,774 --> 00:15:09,108
- That must be fascinating.
- I presume there is a reason for all of this.
176
00:15:09,278 --> 00:15:10,939
There is, yes.
177
00:15:11,113 --> 00:15:13,741
Channel D, please. Mr. Waverly.
178
00:15:13,916 --> 00:15:15,816
Are you leading me loud and clear, sir?
179
00:15:15,985 --> 00:15:19,182
All right,
spare me the pleasantries, Mr. Solo.
180
00:15:19,355 --> 00:15:20,754
How's Mr. Kuryakin?
181
00:15:20,923 --> 00:15:23,722
Oh, he's in the pink of condition there.
182
00:15:23,893 --> 00:15:26,260
I think the rest has done him good.
183
00:15:26,428 --> 00:15:28,658
And the progress of your mission?
184
00:15:28,831 --> 00:15:32,495
SOLO: We”, the regent's been fired and
the grand duchess is taking over everything.
185
00:15:32,668 --> 00:15:35,330
And tomorrow,
she is deporting all criminal types.
186
00:15:35,504 --> 00:15:40,999
So alert all of the appropriate agencies
to have their men standing by.
187
00:15:41,176 --> 00:15:43,440
Thank you. When are you returning?
188
00:15:43,612 --> 00:15:45,671
As soon as we've
had a bite of dinner, sir.
189
00:15:45,848 --> 00:15:50,843
We", don't make it into a banquet.
I'll expect you here tomorrow.
190
00:15:55,491 --> 00:15:57,084
[CHATTERING]
191
00:16:01,730 --> 00:16:03,994
May we join you, boys?
192
00:16:04,533 --> 00:16:08,128
- Jeepers, the cops.
- Relax.
193
00:16:08,304 --> 00:16:09,396
Hello, boys.
194
00:16:09,571 --> 00:16:11,767
Well, if it isn't Baby Bullets Maloney.
195
00:16:11,941 --> 00:16:15,036
And our old pal Doc Terwilliger,
the syndicate scientist.
196
00:16:15,210 --> 00:16:16,678
Say hello to the doctor, IIIya.
197
00:16:16,845 --> 00:16:19,212
I don't have to.
I've been watching them all for weeks.
198
00:16:19,381 --> 00:16:21,179
[LAUGHING]
199
00:16:22,217 --> 00:16:24,618
Yeah. I heard you was in the clink
up there.
200
00:16:25,087 --> 00:16:28,022
[BULLETS LAUGHING]
201
00:16:31,126 --> 00:16:34,756
Laugh it up, Baby Bullets.
The party's almost over.
202
00:16:34,930 --> 00:16:36,420
What are you talking about?
203
00:16:36,598 --> 00:16:38,828
The grand duchess has returned.
Didn't you see?
204
00:16:39,001 --> 00:16:41,299
So she came back. So what?
205
00:16:41,470 --> 00:16:46,135
So she's tired of having halt the hoodlums
in creation cluttering up her kingdom.
206
00:16:46,308 --> 00:16:49,767
You are all out tomorrow. Vamoose.
207
00:16:49,945 --> 00:16:52,312
Listen, Solo, nobody vamooses us.
208
00:16:52,481 --> 00:16:55,109
We're protected here bylaw.
209
00:16:55,284 --> 00:16:57,184
Her Highness has repealed that law.
210
00:16:57,353 --> 00:17:00,186
And you are all out
on your collective immunities.
211
00:17:00,356 --> 00:17:03,792
- Tomorrow.
- What did you say, pal?
212
00:17:03,959 --> 00:17:05,188
Boss.
213
00:17:05,361 --> 00:17:09,457
Boss, he said that the duchess is back.
Somebody's got to her.
214
00:17:09,631 --> 00:17:11,531
- She's kicking us out.
- Repealing the law.
215
00:17:11,700 --> 00:17:14,192
I might have known it.
Fancy work of U.N.C.L.E.'s.
216
00:17:14,370 --> 00:17:16,839
May not be fancy, but effective enough.
217
00:17:17,006 --> 00:17:20,135
What you call it don't matter, Solo.
because it ain't gonna happen.
218
00:17:20,309 --> 00:17:22,971
Bullets, put them on ice
while I find out what's going on.
219
00:17:23,145 --> 00:17:25,011
But I haven't had my knackwurst yet.
220
00:17:25,180 --> 00:17:27,979
You go quiet
or you get a knockwurst on the head.
221
00:17:28,350 --> 00:17:30,546
I paid a million bucks
for this fancy hideout...
222
00:17:30,719 --> 00:17:33,882
...and nobody's gonna blast me out
unless I blast them first.
223
00:17:34,056 --> 00:17:36,457
Now, up with them,
or I'll start with you first.
224
00:17:48,904 --> 00:17:50,372
You tell that niece of yours...
225
00:17:50,539 --> 00:17:53,770
...that she's a spoiled, bad-mannered,
badly-brought-up brat.
226
00:17:53,942 --> 00:17:55,910
It's time she learned a few facts of life.
227
00:17:56,078 --> 00:17:59,673
I own this country,
lock, stock and debentures.
228
00:17:59,848 --> 00:18:03,182
I hold the mortgages on all the fishing,
forestry and mineral rights...
229
00:18:03,352 --> 00:18:05,912
...including all the space
right up to the stratosphere.
230
00:18:06,088 --> 00:18:09,854
And if it comes down to that,
also the droit de seigneur.
231
00:18:10,392 --> 00:18:12,622
I own you, prince.
232
00:18:12,795 --> 00:18:14,058
And I own her.
233
00:18:14,229 --> 00:18:16,459
Please, Mr. King, I beg of you.
234
00:18:16,632 --> 00:18:19,795
Any idea the lady might have
about kicking us out of this place...
235
00:18:19,968 --> 00:18:21,993
...are pipe dreams.
236
00:18:22,171 --> 00:18:24,003
I'm not in this by myself, you know.
237
00:18:24,173 --> 00:18:26,801
How do you think a hood
like Lucho Nostra and his boys...
238
00:18:26,975 --> 00:18:30,036
...are gonna take
to Her Serene Whatsit's attitude?
239
00:18:30,212 --> 00:18:31,680
I shudder to think.
240
00:18:31,847 --> 00:18:33,508
LUCHO:
Artie?
241
00:18:33,682 --> 00:18:36,174
You guaranteed this whole caper
was a lead-pipe cinch.
242
00:18:36,351 --> 00:18:39,616
- So, what's the double-cross?
- There's no double-cross, Lucho.
243
00:18:39,788 --> 00:18:44,123
It's just a slight misunderstanding
on the part of the duchess.
244
00:18:44,293 --> 00:18:46,990
Well, it better be.
I'm not about to be anybody's fall guy.
245
00:18:47,162 --> 00:18:51,326
Mr. Lucho, if you'll just give me
the opportunity to explain to Her Highness.
246
00:18:51,500 --> 00:18:53,696
After all, it isn't really her fault.
247
00:18:53,869 --> 00:18:56,065
Yeah, you explain to the lady.
248
00:18:56,238 --> 00:18:59,367
But if you don't have no success,
I'll do it myself.
249
00:18:59,541 --> 00:19:00,906
You're getting soft, Artie.
250
00:19:01,076 --> 00:19:02,168
[KNUCKLES CRACKING]
251
00:19:02,344 --> 00:19:04,472
You don't know
how to handle people no more.
252
00:19:04,646 --> 00:19:06,808
That's one thing
I never let myself forget...
253
00:19:06,982 --> 00:19:08,677
...is how to handle people.
254
00:19:08,851 --> 00:19:10,842
[KNUCKLES CRACKING]
255
00:19:12,454 --> 00:19:14,218
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
256
00:19:14,957 --> 00:19:16,857
Yes?
257
00:19:18,694 --> 00:19:20,321
May I?
258
00:19:20,496 --> 00:19:24,592
- May I-- May I see you for a moment, Vicky?
- Uncle Fredrick.
259
00:19:24,766 --> 00:19:26,632
What are you doing up so late?
260
00:19:26,802 --> 00:19:31,000
You know it's bad for your sciatica,
running around these damp old halls.
261
00:19:31,173 --> 00:19:34,040
There's more than sciatica
running around these halls tonight.
262
00:19:34,209 --> 00:19:36,769
Please, Victoria, I'd like you to see this.
263
00:19:36,945 --> 00:19:40,677
- Oh, wait a minute. It's very heavy.
- What is this?
264
00:19:40,849 --> 00:19:44,308
That is the official account book
of the Duchy of Ingolstein.
265
00:19:44,486 --> 00:19:47,922
Bank deposits, assets.
liabilities, mortgages.
266
00:19:48,090 --> 00:19:51,424
But there are no bank deposits in here.
267
00:19:51,793 --> 00:19:53,625
Except for...
268
00:19:53,795 --> 00:19:58,392
...“Advance from Artie King, $50,000.
269
00:19:58,567 --> 00:20:04,631
Advance from Artie King, $182,000.“
270
00:20:06,074 --> 00:20:08,771
Does everything come from Artie King?
271
00:20:08,944 --> 00:20:13,142
Everything. Victoria,
without Artie King, we are ruined.
272
00:20:13,315 --> 00:20:17,252
Oh, don't be silly, Uncle Freddy.
There's always the crown jewels.
273
00:20:17,419 --> 00:20:22,789
Victoria, they went 30 years ago.
Your mother pawned those.
274
00:20:23,425 --> 00:20:26,793
You cannot throw Mr. King
and his friends out of Ingolstein.
275
00:20:26,962 --> 00:20:29,124
You must rescind your decision.
276
00:20:29,298 --> 00:20:30,629
Never.
277
00:20:30,799 --> 00:20:34,360
I know what Mr. King's friends are,
Uncle Freddy.
278
00:20:34,536 --> 00:20:38,200
Exactly. They'll stop at nothing.
They'll murder us.
279
00:20:38,373 --> 00:20:43,868
Well, we won't be the first rulers
of Ingolstein to die for our honor.
280
00:20:44,613 --> 00:20:46,672
But what about the country?
281
00:20:46,848 --> 00:20:50,807
What good will your dying do you?
Or mine, for that matter?
282
00:20:50,986 --> 00:20:56,322
Your purpose is to live, marry.
have children, and perpetuate our line...
283
00:20:56,491 --> 00:20:58,983
...not to be hit over the head
by some thug.
284
00:20:59,161 --> 00:21:00,651
What do you want me to do?
285
00:21:00,829 --> 00:21:02,957
Well, I'm not sure
it isn't too late already...
286
00:21:03,131 --> 00:21:07,295
...but we must reassure Mr. King
that he can stay.
287
00:21:07,469 --> 00:21:09,801
That you-- You--
288
00:21:09,972 --> 00:21:11,940
That I what, Uncle Freddy?
289
00:21:12,107 --> 00:21:14,576
There's only one way
to get us out of this.
290
00:21:15,143 --> 00:21:19,046
Victoria, you've got to many Artie King.
291
00:21:20,382 --> 00:21:22,749
Uncle Fredrick!
292
00:21:22,918 --> 00:21:24,044
It's the only way out.
293
00:21:24,219 --> 00:21:27,450
Once you're married to the man,
you can do anything you want with him.
294
00:21:27,623 --> 00:21:29,887
Make him into any kind of husband
you choose.
295
00:21:30,058 --> 00:21:31,583
You are strong, Victoria.
296
00:21:31,760 --> 00:21:34,388
Anyway, a woman can do
anything she wants with a man.
297
00:21:34,563 --> 00:21:37,055
Look at me. It's the story of my life.
298
00:21:37,566 --> 00:21:40,501
I've been twisted around so many fingers,
I feel like a pretzel.
299
00:21:40,669 --> 00:21:43,570
But that's contemptible.
300
00:21:45,474 --> 00:21:48,171
Marrying a man when you...
301
00:21:48,710 --> 00:21:51,042
...only want 10--
302
00:21:51,213 --> 00:21:55,946
Every royal house married for position,
money, to entrench themselves...
303
00:21:56,118 --> 00:21:59,452
...and secure peace and prosperity
for their country.
304
00:21:59,621 --> 00:22:03,888
Yes, but they didn't many creeks
and highwaymen.
305
00:22:04,059 --> 00:22:06,687
This is not the hockey field, Victoria.
306
00:22:07,062 --> 00:22:10,760
This is life. You must do your duty.
307
00:22:20,342 --> 00:22:22,003
You talk to her?
308
00:22:22,177 --> 00:22:25,579
I think, gentlemen,
I may have an idea to rescue our situation.
309
00:22:26,248 --> 00:22:28,580
What's your gimmick, chum?
310
00:22:28,750 --> 00:22:33,984
I suggest that Mr. King
many the grand duchess.
311
00:22:35,757 --> 00:22:37,225
Many the"?
312
00:22:37,392 --> 00:22:39,861
Are you out of your ever-loving blue--?
313
00:22:40,028 --> 00:22:41,427
[LAUGHING]
314
00:22:41,663 --> 00:22:43,256
Prince, I gotta hand it to you.
315
00:22:43,432 --> 00:22:47,426
When they passed out the brains,
you wasn't hiding behind no door. Shake.
316
00:22:47,602 --> 00:22:51,300
What a pleasure it's gonna be to see
Artie King nailed to the wall of matrimony.
317
00:22:51,473 --> 00:22:54,841
- Has she named the happy day?
- As soon as possible.
318
00:22:57,679 --> 00:22:59,044
- I won't.
- You will.
319
00:22:59,214 --> 00:23:00,375
I'm Artie King, remember?
320
00:23:00,549 --> 00:23:03,541
The happy bachelor. I need a wife
like I need a hole in the head.
321
00:23:03,719 --> 00:23:07,212
Take this one or you'll have one in the head
and I'll put it there personal.
322
00:23:07,389 --> 00:23:10,757
Lucho, Lucho. What did I ever do to you,
you should do this to me?
323
00:23:10,926 --> 00:23:13,190
You got me and the boys
into this Clambake, Artie.
324
00:23:13,362 --> 00:23:16,696
We got everything sewed up here.
You ain't about to unravel the threads.
325
00:23:16,865 --> 00:23:18,196
I got news for you, pal.
326
00:23:18,367 --> 00:23:20,768
The dame ain't been born yet
that can tie me down.
327
00:23:20,936 --> 00:23:24,270
Start across that drawbridge,
you'll end up at the bottom of the moat...
328
00:23:24,439 --> 00:23:28,398
...counting the rings on the carps' tails
to see how old they are.
329
00:23:31,713 --> 00:23:34,045
Yeah, well, it's ridiculous.
330
00:23:34,216 --> 00:23:37,049
No grand duchess can marry a commoner.
331
00:23:37,552 --> 00:23:40,681
You will be ennobled first, Mr. King.
332
00:23:41,156 --> 00:23:44,717
- What does that mean?
- My niece will give you a title.
333
00:23:46,128 --> 00:23:49,257
She already has.
You wanna know what it is?
334
00:23:49,431 --> 00:23:51,092
Schnook.
335
00:23:54,436 --> 00:23:55,961
[LUCHO CHUCKLES]
336
00:24:01,343 --> 00:24:04,745
Come on out, boys. Join the party.
Give them a drink, Bullets.
337
00:24:04,913 --> 00:24:06,677
[BULLETS LAUGHING]
338
00:24:06,915 --> 00:24:09,350
To Her Serene Highness,
the grand duchess.
339
00:24:09,518 --> 00:24:11,543
Long may she reign.
340
00:24:11,720 --> 00:24:13,347
[CROWD CHEERING 8. LAUGHING]
341
00:24:15,424 --> 00:24:18,416
To Artie King. Long may he reign.
342
00:24:18,593 --> 00:24:20,391
[CROWD CHEERING 8. LAUGHING]
343
00:24:23,698 --> 00:24:26,463
“And by the authority
of Her Serene Highness...
344
00:24:26,635 --> 00:24:32,768
...the Grand Duchess Victoria Adelaide
Dagmar Alexandra Maude Xenia...
345
00:24:32,941 --> 00:24:36,900
...sovereign ruler
of the sovereign state of Ingolstein...
346
00:24:37,078 --> 00:24:38,739
...Mr. Arthur King...“
347
00:24:38,914 --> 00:24:41,940
WAVERLY [ON RADIO]: I can't hear you. Who's there shouting?
348
00:24:42,117 --> 00:24:45,087
The town crier, sir.
He's making an important announcement.
349
00:24:45,253 --> 00:24:47,915
Apparently, the grand duchess
is going to get married.
350
00:24:48,089 --> 00:24:50,148
That has nothing to do with you,
Mr. Solo.
351
00:24:50,325 --> 00:24:53,784
I've been trying to reach you all morning.
Report back to New York at once.
352
00:24:53,962 --> 00:24:55,259
Your mission's accomplished.
353
00:24:55,430 --> 00:24:56,898
But it isn't accomplished, sir.
354
00:24:57,065 --> 00:24:59,466
The man the grand duchess
is going to many is--
355
00:24:59,634 --> 00:25:00,624
[FESTIVE MUSIC PLAYING ON RADIO]
356
00:25:00,802 --> 00:25:02,463
What? What?
357
00:25:02,637 --> 00:25:04,765
SOLO:
Please, dear. Please, really.
358
00:25:05,273 --> 00:25:07,435
Go on, Mr. Solo.
Who's she going to many?
359
00:25:07,609 --> 00:25:10,738
Stop! Artie King!
360
00:25:28,263 --> 00:25:30,698
My mind is made up, gentlemen.
361
00:25:30,866 --> 00:25:32,891
I appreciate your concern.
362
00:25:33,068 --> 00:25:38,700
But after I realized the true nature
of conditions here at Ingolstein...
363
00:25:38,874 --> 00:25:42,936
...I knew that my duty to Ingolstein
must come before any other consideration.
364
00:25:43,111 --> 00:25:44,772
I understand, but, Your Highness--
365
00:25:44,946 --> 00:25:49,713
I am marrying Mr. King tomorrow
after he is knighted at the ceremony.
366
00:25:53,522 --> 00:25:58,119
Mr. Solo, you were sent to Ingolstein
on a serious matter of great importance.
367
00:25:58,293 --> 00:26:00,853
You are not expected
to function as a marriage broker.
368
00:26:01,296 --> 00:26:02,957
But, Mr. Waverly--
369
00:26:03,131 --> 00:26:05,725
Even you will appreciate
the horrifying results...
370
00:26:05,901 --> 00:26:08,871
...if the grand duchess
marries that, that...
371
00:26:09,037 --> 00:26:12,632
Words fail me when I attempt
to describe Artie King.
372
00:26:12,807 --> 00:26:17,768
There's always the post-office résumé
with photographs, from and side.
373
00:26:17,946 --> 00:26:21,849
Sir, the grand duchess
seems determined to many Mr. King.
374
00:26:22,017 --> 00:26:25,146
The grand duchess is not
one quarter determined to many Mr. King...
375
00:26:25,320 --> 00:26:28,119
...as I am that she will not.
If that marriage takes place...
376
00:26:28,290 --> 00:26:31,658
...lngolsteln permanently falls
into the hands of criminals of the world.
377
00:26:31,826 --> 00:26:35,524
I don't care what you do or how you do it.
You must stop that marriage.
378
00:26:37,599 --> 00:26:39,624
How do you stop a wedding?
379
00:26:39,801 --> 00:26:43,465
Well, we could rush up to the altar
at the last minute with a babe in our arms.
380
00:26:43,638 --> 00:26:45,800
- A babe?
- Not that kind.
381
00:26:45,974 --> 00:26:49,706
The small kind. You know,
three weeks old, with a weeping mother.
382
00:26:52,814 --> 00:26:54,179
Hey.
383
00:26:54,883 --> 00:26:58,877
We'll just have to abduct the bridegroom
before the ceremony starts.
384
00:27:03,258 --> 00:27:05,920
There. How does it feel now, Mr. King?
385
00:27:06,094 --> 00:27:08,722
- A bit tight under the arms.
- Yeah, I was afraid of that.
386
00:27:08,897 --> 00:27:11,798
Now, where did I put
those garden shears?
387
00:27:12,334 --> 00:27:14,166
Why do we have to bother with all this?
388
00:27:14,336 --> 00:27:16,737
Look, you haven't been
reading that book I gave you.
389
00:27:16,905 --> 00:27:20,500
Otherwise, you'd know it's no bother
but a privilege to wear a knight's armor.
390
00:27:20,675 --> 00:27:23,474
Who can read it? All the S's are F's.
391
00:27:23,645 --> 00:27:26,342
Yeah, look, give me the arm piece
and one hammer.
392
00:27:26,514 --> 00:27:29,347
"Ye Camp/eat and Parfait Knights.
393
00:27:29,517 --> 00:27:35,752
0! How A Gentleman Should Comport
Himself Under Diverse Circumstances.“
394
00:27:35,924 --> 00:27:37,756
Can't spell either.
395
00:27:37,926 --> 00:27:40,987
Yeah, well, all this knighthood stuff's
a lot of jazz.
396
00:27:41,162 --> 00:27:42,527
Nobody ever behaved that way.
397
00:27:42,697 --> 00:27:45,860
Yes, they did. There was a time
when gentlemen were truly gentlemen.
398
00:27:46,034 --> 00:27:48,901
Not like me and not like you.
399
00:27:49,738 --> 00:27:51,103
[LAUGHING]
400
00:27:51,740 --> 00:27:52,866
[IMITATES LAUGH]
401
00:28:03,918 --> 00:28:05,010
[SNORING]
402
00:29:09,217 --> 00:29:11,618
All right, where to now?
403
00:29:11,786 --> 00:29:14,483
Do you want the scenic route
through the bedchambers...
404
00:29:14,656 --> 00:29:17,591
...or the light-snack excursion
through the kitchens?
405
00:29:17,759 --> 00:29:21,024
- Bedchambers, please.
- This way.
406
00:29:32,707 --> 00:29:36,234
- Well, good night, Mr. Lucho.
- Good night, prince.
407
00:29:36,411 --> 00:29:38,812
Would you like a car
to take you back to the inn?
408
00:29:38,980 --> 00:29:41,472
No, I'll stick around
and wait till Artie gets to bed.
409
00:29:41,649 --> 00:29:43,617
You might say
I'm protecting my investment.
410
00:29:43,785 --> 00:29:47,050
Well, you don't think he might--
I mean, you don't think he'd run off?
411
00:29:47,222 --> 00:29:49,213
Not while I'm around.
412
00:29:56,164 --> 00:29:57,393
Aha.
413
00:29:58,833 --> 00:30:02,030
One, two, three, four, five...
414
00:30:02,203 --> 00:30:04,365
...six, seven.
415
00:30:25,593 --> 00:30:28,221
Are you sure that book's reliable?
416
00:30:28,396 --> 00:30:30,387
“It was in 1873.
417
00:30:30,598 --> 00:30:34,865
This is the route used by Lutetia the 14th,
who had three consults...
418
00:30:35,036 --> 00:30:38,301
...none of whom knew the existence
of the other two.“
419
00:30:38,473 --> 00:30:41,602
Well, in a place like this,
I'm not the least surprised.
420
00:30:41,776 --> 00:30:44,973
- Lead on.
- It's this way.
421
00:30:46,481 --> 00:30:48,142
[SOLO GROANS]
422
00:32:04,993 --> 00:32:06,825
Mr. King.
423
00:32:07,762 --> 00:32:09,230
Your Highness.
424
00:32:09,397 --> 00:32:11,661
I hardly recognized you
with your face washed.
425
00:32:11,833 --> 00:32:13,528
Are you going somewhere?
426
00:32:13,701 --> 00:32:17,001
Who, me? No, I was just going out
for a short walk.
427
00:32:17,171 --> 00:32:21,039
Oh, Mr. King, please. No, not the sword.
428
00:32:21,209 --> 00:32:22,370
Oh, I'm sorry.
429
00:32:22,543 --> 00:32:25,308
You see, it must be very fragile by now.
430
00:32:25,480 --> 00:32:28,677
It's been there for over a thousand years.
431
00:32:29,017 --> 00:32:30,348
[ARTIE WHISTLES]
432
00:32:32,921 --> 00:32:34,889
The sword of Saint George.
433
00:32:35,056 --> 00:32:38,117
Real George. The dragon killer.
434
00:32:39,527 --> 00:32:42,189
- He slew the dragon on this rock.
- Yeah?
435
00:32:42,730 --> 00:32:46,689
The blow was so fierce
that the sword penetrated the stone...
436
00:32:46,868 --> 00:32:50,566
...and nobody's been able
to pull it out since.
437
00:32:52,073 --> 00:32:56,010
I-- I used to be pretty good at these things
when I was at Luna Park.
438
00:32:56,177 --> 00:32:59,203
Oh, no, no, Mr. King, please don't.
I mean...
439
00:32:59,380 --> 00:33:01,439
...it wouldn't be fair.
440
00:33:01,616 --> 00:33:03,607
You don't have to.
441
00:33:03,785 --> 00:33:07,119
- That's all right.
- No, no, you don't understand.
442
00:33:07,288 --> 00:33:08,687
There's a legend that says...
443
00:33:08,856 --> 00:33:11,882
...that he who is able to withdraw
the sword from the stone...
444
00:33:12,060 --> 00:33:13,789
...the grand duchess will marry.
445
00:33:14,462 --> 00:33:19,525
But you see, since you and I
are going to be married anyway...
446
00:33:20,335 --> 00:33:22,895
...it just wouldn't seem quite sporting...
447
00:33:23,071 --> 00:33:28,373
...to spoil the chances
for some future grand duchess, would it?
448
00:33:29,877 --> 00:33:31,106
ARTIE:
Oh.
449
00:33:32,981 --> 00:33:34,915
[VICKY SIGHS]
450
00:33:36,417 --> 00:33:38,010
[VICKY SNIFFLING]
451
00:33:38,186 --> 00:33:41,451
Now, what's the matter, Your Highness?
452
00:33:42,056 --> 00:33:43,785
What's wrong?
453
00:33:45,460 --> 00:33:49,124
I thought you wanted all this.
This marriage.
454
00:33:50,832 --> 00:33:52,596
Do.
455
00:33:52,767 --> 00:33:55,930
I mean, I want to do my duty.
456
00:33:57,171 --> 00:33:59,105
Well, that's funny.
457
00:33:59,273 --> 00:34:02,208
I was just thinking
the same thing about myself.
458
00:34:04,445 --> 00:34:05,776
You mean you didn't know?
459
00:34:09,083 --> 00:34:10,642
We're both caught.
460
00:34:11,419 --> 00:34:13,353
I had no idea.
461
00:34:17,025 --> 00:34:23,123
Oh, look, I'm sorry about all this
happening like this.
462
00:34:23,965 --> 00:34:27,629
I also know that it's
just a business deal, so I'll...
463
00:34:28,503 --> 00:34:30,096
...keep my distance.
464
00:34:30,271 --> 00:34:32,706
Oh, Mr. King...
465
00:34:34,208 --> 00:34:35,801
Hey.
466
00:34:35,977 --> 00:34:39,743
Hey, you wanna know something?
Something just occurred to me, I--
467
00:34:39,914 --> 00:34:43,043
Hey, we're gonna get married
and everything...
468
00:34:43,418 --> 00:34:46,683
...and you haven't even got
an engagement ring.
469
00:34:55,563 --> 00:34:57,031
There.
470
00:35:00,535 --> 00:35:02,333
It's all right, isn't it?
471
00:35:02,770 --> 00:35:04,238
It is the thing to do.
472
00:35:04,405 --> 00:35:07,670
It's just the thing to do.
473
00:35:27,895 --> 00:35:29,385
[SOLO GROANS]
474
00:35:29,964 --> 00:35:32,695
The state bedrooms lie on either side.
475
00:35:32,867 --> 00:35:35,962
That should be the grand duchess.
476
00:35:36,137 --> 00:35:40,699
And Mr. King's bedroom
should be down there.
477
00:35:40,875 --> 00:35:42,969
Let's hope he believes
in an early beddy-bye.
478
00:35:43,144 --> 00:35:44,771
I've had it.
479
00:35:49,217 --> 00:35:51,879
Good night, Your Highness.
480
00:35:52,053 --> 00:35:54,215
Good night, Mr. King.
481
00:35:54,689 --> 00:35:57,659
They won't win. Believe me.
482
00:35:57,825 --> 00:35:59,554
Not against the two of us.
483
00:35:59,727 --> 00:36:02,628
- Feeling better?
- Much.
484
00:36:07,702 --> 00:36:09,397
[WHISTLING]
485
00:36:20,982 --> 00:36:24,850
- What are you doing here?
- Minding the store.
486
00:36:26,053 --> 00:36:29,421
Looks like you and the little lady
hit it 0” better than you thought.
487
00:36:29,590 --> 00:36:31,752
Good old Artie. Never misses a bet.
488
00:36:31,926 --> 00:36:35,556
ARTIE: Knock it off. As you pointed out,
this is the little lady I'm gonna many.
489
00:36:35,730 --> 00:36:38,893
Well, I'm glad to see
you've adjusted to the idea.
490
00:36:39,066 --> 00:36:43,025
I was a little worried
you might try a moonlight flit on us.
491
00:36:43,204 --> 00:36:45,195
Don't be ridiculous.
492
00:36:45,907 --> 00:36:47,602
Good night, Artie. Sleep tight.
493
00:36:47,775 --> 00:36:50,335
But if you should suffer
a change of heart, remember...
494
00:36:50,511 --> 00:36:53,003
...Big Brother is watching you.
495
00:37:03,958 --> 00:37:06,450
Boss, one of the boys
tried to cross the border...
496
00:37:06,627 --> 00:37:08,891
...but there's an Interpol cop
behind every tree.
497
00:37:09,063 --> 00:37:11,498
- What?
- Yeah, and he tried the other two leads too.
498
00:37:11,666 --> 00:37:14,158
Same thing.
They got the place surrounded.
499
00:37:14,335 --> 00:37:16,667
Cops from all over the world.
500
00:37:25,479 --> 00:37:27,004
[ARTIE MUMBLING]
501
00:37:28,549 --> 00:37:30,142
You stay here. Keep an eye on him.
502
00:37:30,318 --> 00:37:32,343
Don't you let him out of your sight.
503
00:37:32,520 --> 00:37:34,215
Right, boss.
504
00:37:37,191 --> 00:37:38,818
Artie?
505
00:37:39,360 --> 00:37:40,885
Artie?
506
00:37:43,698 --> 00:37:45,325
Artie?
507
00:37:48,603 --> 00:37:50,230
Artie?
508
00:37:51,973 --> 00:37:54,340
Artie.
509
00:37:57,311 --> 00:37:59,279
Artie!
510
00:38:01,782 --> 00:38:03,944
Artie!
511
00:38:04,118 --> 00:38:07,486
Don't do this to me.
512
00:38:12,460 --> 00:38:14,792
Lucho. Lucho.
513
00:38:14,962 --> 00:38:17,590
He blew it. Artie got away.
514
00:38:17,765 --> 00:38:19,756
I told you
not to let him out of your sight.
515
00:38:19,934 --> 00:38:23,996
I didn't, boss. I went right in there
just after you left but he was gone.
516
00:38:24,171 --> 00:38:27,163
Artie must be in with these cops.
Maybe even that duchess.
517
00:38:27,341 --> 00:38:29,309
I got an idea.
518
00:38:30,177 --> 00:38:33,704
Doc, what's the last
big safecracking job you pulled?
519
00:38:33,881 --> 00:38:35,713
Fort Knox?
520
00:38:36,684 --> 00:38:38,652
What do you have in mind?
521
00:38:38,819 --> 00:38:41,447
I got another little job for you,
even more delicate.
522
00:38:41,622 --> 00:38:46,560
Very old, very special, very difficult,
and you gotta do it fast.
523
00:38:55,670 --> 00:38:59,072
- Victoria, he's disappeared.
- What?
524
00:38:59,240 --> 00:39:02,904
Mr. King. He's not to be found
from one end of the castle to the other.
525
00:39:03,077 --> 00:39:05,569
There must be some explanation.
Mr. King wouldn't--
526
00:39:05,746 --> 00:39:07,441
Lady, you don't know Artie King.
527
00:39:07,615 --> 00:39:10,050
He's run away
from bigger and better prizes than you.
528
00:39:10,217 --> 00:39:12,743
But don't worry.
There are able! and better men around.
529
00:39:23,397 --> 00:39:24,626
[GRUNTING]
530
00:39:46,220 --> 00:39:49,679
There. Aren't you gonna kiss
the new bridegroom?
531
00:40:14,648 --> 00:40:18,380
ARTIE: I'll get you for this. Kidnapping a man
practically on the eve of his wedding.
532
00:40:18,552 --> 00:40:22,682
It wouldn't have worked, Artie. Marriages
are made in heaven, not in pool rooms.
533
00:40:23,791 --> 00:40:25,190
Mr. Waverly, Solo here.
534
00:40:25,359 --> 00:40:27,919
We've got Artie King
safe and sound in our possession...
535
00:40:28,095 --> 00:40:29,859
...all wrapped up, ready for delivery.
536
00:40:30,030 --> 00:40:33,330
Jubilation is a bit premature,
Mr. Solo, to say the least.
537
00:40:33,501 --> 00:40:34,866
Something wrong, sir?
538
00:40:35,035 --> 00:40:37,129
Well, that's one way of putting it.
539
00:40:37,304 --> 00:40:41,400
Lucho Nostra has pulled the sword of
Saint George from the stone in the chapel...
540
00:40:41,575 --> 00:40:43,873
...and claimed the grand duchess
as his bride.
541
00:40:44,044 --> 00:40:46,672
It's impossible! It's a-- It's a rig!
542
00:40:46,847 --> 00:40:49,248
Lucho-- It's a frame-up.
Lucho must have rigged it.
543
00:40:49,417 --> 00:40:50,646
I'll murder him!
544
00:40:50,818 --> 00:40:54,015
I detect the green glint of jealousy
in your eye.
545
00:40:54,188 --> 00:40:58,125
This marriage, Mr. Solo, is infinitely more
to be deplored than the other.
546
00:40:58,292 --> 00:41:01,387
So forget about Mr. King and regroup.
547
00:41:01,562 --> 00:41:03,189
And this time, don't fail.
548
00:41:03,831 --> 00:41:05,492
Well, you heard what the man said.
549
00:41:05,666 --> 00:41:08,158
Come on! What are you waiting for?
550
00:41:12,306 --> 00:41:13,603
ARTIE:
Your Highness.
551
00:41:13,774 --> 00:41:18,007
Mr. King.
Oh, Mr. King, where have you been?
552
00:41:18,179 --> 00:41:21,114
- Where did you disappear to?
SOLO: That can be explained later.
553
00:41:21,282 --> 00:41:23,341
You can't go through
with your marriage 10--
554
00:41:23,517 --> 00:41:24,678
That gorilla.
555
00:41:24,852 --> 00:41:26,752
But he pulled
the sword of Saint George...
556
00:41:26,921 --> 00:41:30,050
...from the very stone
on which the dragon was slain.
557
00:41:30,758 --> 00:41:32,886
I have no choice. I have to marry him.
558
00:41:33,060 --> 00:41:36,360
The whole thing was a frame-up.
Lucho rigged it.
559
00:41:36,530 --> 00:41:37,964
That's impossible.
560
00:41:38,132 --> 00:41:41,227
Nothing's impossible to him.
Now, we must get you out of here.
561
00:41:41,402 --> 00:41:45,600
I can't. At a moment like this?
My people are waiting for me.
562
00:41:45,773 --> 00:41:48,538
Now, please go, I beg of you,
before you get hurt.
563
00:41:48,709 --> 00:41:50,234
Now, think of something, fellas.
564
00:41:57,351 --> 00:41:59,183
[CROWD CHEERING]
565
00:41:59,420 --> 00:42:02,048
- Are we gonna ride in that?
- Of course.
566
00:42:03,023 --> 00:42:06,015
Look at those springs.
Why don't we take my car.
567
00:42:06,193 --> 00:42:07,661
It's the tradition, Mr. Nostra.
568
00:42:07,828 --> 00:42:10,729
If you claim rights by it,
you must live by it.
569
00:42:41,128 --> 00:42:43,324
What is this? A commercial or something?
570
00:43:00,748 --> 00:43:02,978
Who is this guy?
Some kind of nut 01 something?
571
00:43:03,150 --> 00:43:05,551
He has put the challenge to you.
572
00:43:05,719 --> 00:43:08,188
You've got to pick it up
if you want to marry me.
573
00:43:15,129 --> 00:43:16,961
What do I do now? Throw it back at him?
574
00:43:17,131 --> 00:43:19,566
You engage in trial by combat.
575
00:43:19,733 --> 00:43:21,724
Your life against his.
576
00:43:21,902 --> 00:43:23,370
You're kidding.
577
00:43:23,537 --> 00:43:25,062
On the contrary, Mr. Lucho...
578
00:43:25,239 --> 00:43:28,470
...it's all according to
the most ancient traditions of knighthood.
579
00:43:28,642 --> 00:43:31,976
As the grand duchess' champion,
you must pledge yourself...
580
00:43:32,146 --> 00:43:34,672
...to go against anyone
who may appeal against her...
581
00:43:34,848 --> 00:43:37,215
...or forfeit all your rights.
582
00:43:53,100 --> 00:43:54,090
[GRUNTS]
583
00:43:56,637 --> 00:43:58,696
Bullets, give me your Enforcer.
584
00:44:00,708 --> 00:44:01,732
[GRUNTS]
585
00:44:07,214 --> 00:44:09,239
Mr. Nostra.
586
00:44:10,150 --> 00:44:11,811
Drop it.
587
00:44:16,457 --> 00:44:17,947
Don't be rude, Mr. Nostra.
588
00:44:23,864 --> 00:44:27,892
You do combat, sir, with
the sword of Saint George and his shield.
589
00:44:28,268 --> 00:44:30,202
You mean these?
590
00:44:31,705 --> 00:44:36,541
When I drop my scarf,
let the combat commence.
591
00:46:04,832 --> 00:46:07,824
LUCHO:
Boys, where are you?
592
00:47:18,539 --> 00:47:20,837
I surrender. I surrender.
593
00:47:21,008 --> 00:47:22,237
I give up.
594
00:47:24,912 --> 00:47:27,904
They'll never believe this
in Teaneck, New Jersey.
595
00:47:28,081 --> 00:47:30,311
Mr. King.
596
00:47:38,659 --> 00:47:41,128
Well, here come
our Knights of the Round Table.
597
00:47:57,344 --> 00:48:00,075
"The Complete Guide
to Perfect Knighthood.
598
00:48:00,247 --> 00:48:03,683
0! How A Gentlemen Should Comport
Himself Under Diverse Circumstances.“
599
00:48:17,931 --> 00:48:20,559
[CROWD CHEERING]
600
00:48:28,008 --> 00:48:30,067
WAVERLY [ON RADIO]: What's that? What is that?
601
00:48:30,244 --> 00:48:34,112
Nothing, sir. Just the happy populace
cheering the newlyweds.
602
00:49:59,399 --> 00:50:01,390
[ENGLISH SDH]
48245
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