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>> AS YOU KNOW, THERE HAVE
BEEN MANY GREAT BLACK FILMS -
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"BLACK CAESAR," "BLACULA," "BLACK ON THIS SUCKA,"
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00:00:09,000 --> 00:00:11,999
"YOU BLACKED MY MAMA," "WHO YOU CALLIN' BLACK?"
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00:00:12,000 --> 00:00:13,999
"GET BLACK JACK," "ALL THAT BLACK," AND THE VERY
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00:00:14,000 --> 00:00:16,999
POPULAR "SOME OF MY BEST FRIENDS ARE BLACK."
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00:00:17,000 --> 00:00:19,999
BUT TODAY, RIGHT HERE IN THE
HEART OF THE BLACK COMMUNITY, WE
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BEGIN PRODUCTION ON OUR GREATEST
AND BLACKEST FILM EVER, CALLED
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"BLACKITY BLACK BLACK BLACK"!
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[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] >> EXCUSE ME. EXCUSE ME.
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MELVIN!
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I WOULD LIKE TO TALK TO YOU!
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>> NOT NOW, BILL COSBY.
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THERE HAS NEVER BEEN THIS
MUCH BLACK CRAMMED IN A TITLE OR A
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MOVIE BEFORE.
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YOU NEED TO COME ON DOWN TO
THE SET RIGHT NOW TO MEET OUR MOST
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BELOVED STARS AND HEROES
- RUDY RAY MOORE, PAM GRIER,
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ANTONIO FARGAS, AND THE
MAIN MAN HIMSELF, MR. JIM KELLY!
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>> LOOK HERE, MY BEAUTIFUL WHITE SHE-DEVIL.
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BUSINESS HAS BEEN A LITTLE SLOW
FOR THE BLACK PUMAS THESE DAYS.
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BUT IF YOU COULD PLEASE CUT
OUR CABLE BACK ON, I WOULD BE...
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>> BROTHER STUEY, LOOK AT THE TV SCREEN!
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>> COME WITNESS THE MOST
HISTORIC FILM IN THE MAKING.
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YOU BETTER BE THERE OR BE SQUARE, BABY!
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>> I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS SUCKER
IS FILM IN IN OUR COMMUNITY.
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AND HE AIN'T PAY US A DIME!
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>> AND WE WANT ALL 10 PENNIES, TOO!
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[ PEOPLE SCREAMING ] [ ROUND CHAMBERS ]
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>> ♪ DYNAMITE! DYNAMITE >> ♪ HE'S DYNAMITE
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♪ SO DYNAMITE ♪ OOOHHH, OOOHHH
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♪ OOOHHH ♪ AHHHH
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♪ HE'S DYNAMITE ♪ DY-NO, DY-NO
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♪ OOOHHH, OOOHHH ♪ OOOOHHHH
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♪ DYNAMITE! DYNAMITE! >> THIS WEEK...
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>> COME WITNESS THE MOST HISTORIC FILM IN -
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>> Honey Bee: BLACK DYNAMITE,
I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DON'T WANT TO
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GO DOWN THERE AND SEE THE
BIGGEST, BLACKEST MOVIE STARS
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00:01:55,000 --> 00:01:56,050
EVER.
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>> Black Dynamite: WHAT'S
THE BIG DEAL ABOUT SEEING
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"BLACKITY BLACK BLACK BLACK"
ACTORS ON THE MOVIE SCREEN WHEN
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WE LIVE THE LIVES OF REAL
BLACKITY, BLACK, BLACK, BLACK
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00:02:02,761 --> 00:02:03,999
MOTHERFUCKERS EVERY DAY?
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00:02:04,000 --> 00:02:05,999
>> Cream Corn: DAMN, BLACKY
D, HOW COME BECAUSE YOU DON'T EVER
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00:02:06,000 --> 00:02:06,999
LIKE TO DO SHIT WE ALL CAN'T LIKE TO DO SHIT
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>> Black Dynamite: I TELL
YOU WHAT YOU CAN LIKE - YOUR ASS
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00:02:09,000 --> 00:02:10,999
GETTIN' WHUPPED FOR CALLIN' ME "BLACKY D" AGAIN.
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>> Honey Bee: I BET YOU
WOULD MAKE A BAD-ASS MOVIE STAR,
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BLACK DYNAMITE.
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00:02:14,000 --> 00:02:14,999
MM-HMM!
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>> Black Dynamite: THIS IS TRUE.
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ME AND OLD MELVIN GO WAY BACK,
ALL THE WAY BACK TO THE DAYS OF
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FUCKIN' >> Cream Corn: THE DAYS OF
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TRUCKIN'?
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I DIDN'T KNOW YOU LIKED TRUCKIN', BLACK DYNAMITE.
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I LOVE THOSE HORNS.
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TOOT, TOOT!
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>> Black Dynamite: NOT THE
DAYS OF TRUCKIN' - THE DAYS OF
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00:02:25,000 --> 00:02:25,999
FUCKIN' >> Bullhorn: MAN, IN THOSE DAYS,
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WE FUCKED IN CARS, BARS,
TREES, AND EVEN UNDER THE SEA.
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00:02:29,000 --> 00:02:30,999
I FUCKED A BITCH ON TOP
OF THE EMPIRE STATE BUILDING!
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00:02:31,000 --> 00:02:32,999
>> Black Dynamite: LOOK,
SOMEBODY'S ROBBING ROSCOE'S BEAN
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PIES AND PORK RINDS!
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[ TIRES SCREECH ] >> WHOA! WHOA! WHOA! CUT! CUT!
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00:02:38,000 --> 00:02:39,999
[ BELL RINGS ] >> Honey Bee: OOPS.
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>> Cream Corn: AND SKEETED
ON THE STATUE OF LIBERTY!
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>> [ LAUGHS ] BLACK DYNAMITE, I SHOULD HAVE
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KNOWN.
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TAKE 10, EVERYBODY, AND LET'S
GET SOME OF THESE DEAD STUNT MEN
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OUT OF HERE.
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00:02:48,051 --> 00:02:49,999
OH, MAN, I HAVEN'T SEEN
YOU SINCE THE DAYS OF TRUCKIN'.
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>> Black Dynamite: YOU MEAN FUCKIN'
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>> YEAH, I ALWAYS GET THOSE TWO MIXED UP.
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00:02:53,000 --> 00:02:53,999
HOW'S IT SWINGING?
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>> Black Dynamite: LOW LIKE A SWEET CHARIOT.
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00:02:56,000 --> 00:02:57,999
>> [ LAUGHS ] THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKIN' ABOUT.
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>> Black Dynamite: SORRY ABOUT
KILLING AND/OR MORTALLY WOUNDING
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ALL YOUR STUNT MEN.
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>> DON'T WORRY.
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00:03:02,000 --> 00:03:02,999
THESE MOTHAFUCKAS LOVE TO DIE.
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00:03:03,000 --> 00:03:04,999
SO, THIS MUST BE THE INFAMOUS
BLACK DYNAMITE CREW I'VE HEARD
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SO MUCH ABOUT.
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>> Cream Corn: IN THE FLESH!
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MY NAME IS CREAM CORN, CERTIFIED
PIMP AND REST HAVEN FOR HOES.
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00:03:11,000 --> 00:03:11,999
[ CHUCKLES ] >> WELL, IT'S A PLEASURE TO MEET
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YOU.
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COME ON, LET ME INTRODUCE YOU TO OUR STARS.
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>> Cream Corn: HEY, YOU LOOK JUST LIKE ME.
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OR DO I LOOK JUST LIKE YOU?
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00:03:19,000 --> 00:03:19,999
OR DID YOUR DADDY FUCK MY MAMA?
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>> Bullhorn: MELVIN VAN
P, WHO THE FUCK IS HE SUPPOSED TO
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00:03:23,000 --> 00:03:23,999
BE?
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00:03:24,000 --> 00:03:25,999
>> RUDY RAY MOORE IS MY NAME,
AND FUCKIN' UP MOTHAFUCKAS IS MY
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00:03:26,000 --> 00:03:26,999
GAME.
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00:03:27,000 --> 00:03:29,999
>> Bullhorn: WELL, RUDY, YOU
MIGHT BE THE MAN ON THE SILVER
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SCREEN, BUT BULLHORN'S THE
MEANEST MOTHAFUCKA YOU EVER DID
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SEEN.
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00:03:34,000 --> 00:03:34,999
>> WHY, YOU BORN-INSECURE MOTHAFUCKA
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I MADE GODZILLA SUCK MY DICK
WHILE KING KONG HELD THE BALLS.
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I WHUPPED A SKYSCRAPER'S ASS
AND MADE ALL THE LONDON BRIDGES
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FALL.
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00:03:42,000 --> 00:03:44,999
>> Bullhorn: MAN, I ATE AN
OIL TANKER, AND IT DIDN'T GIVE ME
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GAS.
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I WALKED BY THE DEVIL AND BURNT HIS ASS.
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I SWAM IN THE SUN AND SKINNY-DIPPED ON THE MOON.
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I FUCKED URANUS IN HER ASS AND
MADE THE BITCH CRAWL TO NEPTUNE.
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>> MOTHERFUCKER YOU!
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>> OKAY, OKAY, THAT'S ENOUGH, RUDY.
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SAVE THAT SHIT FOR THE FILM.
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>> Honey Bee: BLACK DYNAMITE,
THIS GOT TO BE BREAKING SOME
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KIND OF COPYRIGHT RULES OR SOMETHING.
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THIS BITCH LOOKS JUST LIKE
ME, EXCEPT FOR THEM LITTLE TITTIES.
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00:04:01,000 --> 00:04:02,999
>> Black Dynamite: LOOK,
I'M SURE THAT ANY OF THESE
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00:04:03,000 --> 00:04:05,999
CHARACTERS' SIMILARITIES
TO ANYONE ALIVE OR DEAD IS PURELY
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COINCIDENTAL.
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RIGHT, MELVIN?
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>> UH, UH-HUH. YEAH, YEAH.
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[ LAUGHTER ] >> THAT'S RIGHT, BABY.
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I LOOKED HIM RIGHT IN HIS LITTLE
CHINESE EYES AND SAID, "BULLSHIT
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MR. HAN MAN!" [ LAUGHTER ]
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>> JIM KELLY, BLACK DYNAMITE.
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BLACK DYNAMITE, JIM KELLY.
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>> Black Dynamite: MELVIN,
THE SIMILARITIES BETWEEN JIM KELLY
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AND BLACK DYNAMITE CANNOT BE PURELY COINCIDENTAL.
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>> OH, OKAY, YOU GOT ME. I
- >> LOOK, MELVIN, I GOT NO TIME
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00:04:27,001 --> 00:04:28,999
FOR MALE GROUPIES, YOU DIG?
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00:04:29,000 --> 00:04:30,999
MAN, YOU LOOK LIKE YOU
COME RIGHT OUT OF A COMIC BOOK.
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>> Black Dynamite: LOOK HERE, JIM KELLY.
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BLACK DYNAMITE IS BLACKER THAN
THE ACE OF SPADES AND MORE OF A
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STAR THAN YOU AND THIS
WHOLE BLACK CAST PUT TOGETHER.
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AND WHILE YOU IN FRONT OF
THEM MOVIE CAMERAS PRETENDING TO
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FUCK UP SUCKERS AND STICK
IT TO THE MAN, I'M IN THE STREETS
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FOR REAL, PROTECTING THE
COMMUNITY AND TAKING OUT ANY
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JIVE-ASS TURKEY THAT GETS IN MY WAY.
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00:04:45,000 --> 00:04:46,999
NOW, I SUGGEST YOU SHUT
THE FUCK UP WHEN A REAL BLACK
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00:04:47,000 --> 00:04:48,920
HERO IS TELLING YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP!
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>> UM...
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>> BLACK DYNAMITE, SUDDENLY,
I WOULD LIKE TO LEAVE YOUR ISLAND.
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>> [ CHUCKLES ] I LOVE IT WHEN HE TALKS IN MOVIE
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LINES.
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>> MR. VAN PEEBLES!
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MR. VAN PEEBLES!
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>> HEY, MY ASSISTANT, YOUNG SPIKE LEE.
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WHAT'S SHAKIN', BABY?
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>> YOU'RE GONNA BE LATE TO YOUR
3:00 MéNAGE ET TROIS, WHICH IS
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00:05:02,000 --> 00:05:03,999
RUNNING RIGHT INTO YOUR 3:
30 QUICKIE, AND NOT TO MENTION YOUR
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00:05:04,000 --> 00:05:04,999
DICK SUCK AT 4:00.
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00:05:05,000 --> 00:05:05,999
>> OKAY, OKAY, PUT THEM ALL TOGETHER.
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HEY, SHOW BUSINESS CALLS.
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00:05:07,000 --> 00:05:08,999
WHY DON'T Y'ALL HANG AROUND FOR A WHILE?
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00:05:09,000 --> 00:05:10,999
WE GOT FREE ROSCOE'S BUTTERY
BITCHES AND WAFFLES, ALL YOU CAN
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EAT.
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>> Black Dynamite: I DON'T KNOW, MELVIN.
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>> Cream Corn: FREE ROSCOE'S BITCHES AND WAFFLES?
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YOU KNOW I LIKE MY BITCHES
BUTTERY, BLACK DYNAMITE.
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WAFFLES, BITCHES, BUTTER, ALL THAT!
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00:05:17,000 --> 00:05:19,999
>> BY THE WAY, BILL COSBY
LEFT YOU A BUNCH OF MESSAGES.
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YOU MIGHT WANT TO LISTEN TO THEM.
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[ ANSWERING MACHINE BEEPS
] >> OHHHH, IT'S ME, BILL COSBY.
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HEY, UM, MELVIN, I HAD
SOME CONCERNS ABOUT THE FILM.
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[ ANSWERING MACHINE BEEPS ] ...COSBY AGAIN.
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00:05:29,981 --> 00:05:30,999
CAN YOU CALL ME BACK?
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I HAVE CONCERNS ABOUT THE
MOV- [ ANSWERING MACHINE BEEPS ]
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...ME BACK, PLEASE? THE MOVIE
- [ ANSWERING MACHINE BEEPS ]
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...DYING TO TALK TO YOU LIKE A CIVILIZED -
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[ ANSWERING MACHINE BEEPS ] CALL ME BA-
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[ ANSWERING MACHINE BEEPS ] FILTH FLARN FLARN!
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[ ANSWERING MACHINE BEEPS ] HEY, MELV-
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[ ANSWERING MACHINE BEEPS ] FILTH -
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[ BEEP ] FLARN -
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[ BEEP ] OHH!
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[ BEEPS ] [ KNOCK ON DOOR ]
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>> OH, YEAH, I ALMOST FORGOT
- THERE'S THREE GIRLS HERE THAT
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00:05:49,000 --> 00:05:50,740
SAID YOU PROMISED THEM AN AUDITION.
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00:05:50,741 --> 00:05:50,999
>> THEY GOT FIVE MINUTES.
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00:05:51,000 --> 00:05:52,999
SEND THEM IN.
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ALL RIGHT, GIRLS, I ONLY HAVE
A COUPLE OF ROLES LEFT, SO THE
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00:05:54,000 --> 00:05:54,999
COMPETITION...
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00:05:55,000 --> 00:05:55,999
[ UNZIPPING ] ...IS STIFF.
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>> THE PUT THE DICK AWAY, MELVIN.
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WE AIN'T COME HERE FOR THAT.
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00:05:58,000 --> 00:05:58,999
>> WE DIDN'T?!
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>> BLACK PUMA LEADER STUEY
FIG NEWTON AND TWO OTHER
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00:06:01,000 --> 00:06:01,999
MEMBERS OF THE BLACK PUMA PARTY?
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00:06:02,000 --> 00:06:03,260
HOW DID Y'ALL GET IN HERE?
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00:06:03,261 --> 00:06:04,999
>> DISGUISED AS THREE
BITCHES THAT WANT TO FUCK YOU.
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00:06:05,000 --> 00:06:05,999
THAT'S HOW.
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>> DAMN, Y'ALL PUMAS ARE SOME SNEAKY BITCHES.
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00:06:07,000 --> 00:06:09,999
>> WAIT. SO, WE NOT FUCKIN'
HIM? >> YOU KNOW THE SHAKEDOWN RULES,
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00:06:10,000 --> 00:06:10,999
BROTHER.
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00:06:11,000 --> 00:06:12,999
YOU DON'T AS MUCH AS TAKE
A SHIT IN OUR COMMUNITY WITHOUT
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00:06:13,000 --> 00:06:13,999
PAYING US BEFORE YOU WIPE YOUR ASS.
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00:06:14,000 --> 00:06:14,999
>> COME ON, STUEY.
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00:06:15,000 --> 00:06:16,999
I'M ALWAYS PAYING YOU PUMAS.
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00:06:17,000 --> 00:06:18,999
DAMN, HOW MUCH DOES THE REVOLUTION COST?
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00:06:19,000 --> 00:06:20,999
>> THIS AIN'T FOR NO REVOLUTION, SUCKER.
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00:06:21,000 --> 00:06:21,999
IT'S FOR OUR CABLE BILL.
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00:06:22,000 --> 00:06:22,999
>> SH-SH-SH-SHUT UP.
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00:06:23,000 --> 00:06:27,999
[ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS
] >> Black Dynamite: LITTLE
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00:06:28,000 --> 00:06:30,999
SPIKE LEE, I SUGGEST YOU DO
THE RIGHT THING AND TELL ME WHAT THE
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00:06:31,000 --> 00:06:31,999
FUCK Y'ALL ARE DOING AROUND MY CAR.
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00:06:32,000 --> 00:06:33,999
>> I'M SORRY, BLACK DYNAMITE,
BUT SENSEI JIM KELLY SAYS HE
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00:06:34,000 --> 00:06:35,999
LIKES YOUR CAR AND THAT HE
WANTS TO DRIVE IT IN THE MOVIE.
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00:06:36,000 --> 00:06:37,999
>> Black Dynamite: SENSEI
JIM KELLY IS ABOUT TO DRIVE MY
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00:06:38,000 --> 00:06:38,999
FOOT UP HIS ASS.
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00:06:39,000 --> 00:06:40,800
>> WHEN IT COMES, I WON'T EVEN NOTICE.
205
00:06:40,801 --> 00:06:41,999
>> Black Dynamite: AND WHY IS THAT?
206
00:06:42,000 --> 00:06:46,999
>> BECAUSE I WILL BE TOO BUSY LOOKIN' GOOD.
207
00:06:47,000 --> 00:06:47,999
>> COME ON, MAN.
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00:06:48,000 --> 00:06:48,999
THAT'S ALL I GOT.
209
00:06:49,000 --> 00:06:50,999
I PUT EVERY PENNY I HAD
INTO THIS "BLACKITY BLACK BLACK
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00:06:51,000 --> 00:06:51,999
BLACK" FILM!
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00:06:52,000 --> 00:06:54,999
>> WELL, I GUESS THAT'S
YOUR BLACKITY, BLACK, BLACK ASS!
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00:06:55,000 --> 00:06:58,999
>> ♪ DYNAMITE! DYNAMITE
>> Black Dynamite: SORRY,
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00:06:59,000 --> 00:07:00,999
MELVIN, I DIDN'T MEAN TO INTERRUPT YOUR
214
00:07:01,000 --> 00:07:02,999
MéNAGE-A-FOUR AND DESTROY YOUR
TRAILER AND PUT MY FOOT UP YOUR
215
00:07:03,000 --> 00:07:05,999
BLACK STAR'S ASS, BUT THAT
TURKEY WAS WAY OUT OF LINE.
216
00:07:06,000 --> 00:07:06,999
>> NO PROBLEM.
217
00:07:07,000 --> 00:07:08,999
THESE BITCHES WERE JUST LEAVING,
UNLESS OF COURSE THEY WANT TO
218
00:07:09,000 --> 00:07:10,999
HANG AROUND AND GIVE YOU SOME ACTION, TOO.
219
00:07:11,000 --> 00:07:11,999
>> NO, THAT'S OKAY.
220
00:07:12,000 --> 00:07:12,999
BYE, MELVIN! I'LL SEE YOU SOON!
221
00:07:13,000 --> 00:07:14,999
>> DON'T CALL ME!
222
00:07:15,000 --> 00:07:15,999
I'LL CALL YOU, BITCHES!
223
00:07:16,000 --> 00:07:16,999
>> LET'S GET THIS STRAIGHT.
224
00:07:17,000 --> 00:07:17,999
ARE WE FUCKING HIM OR NOT?
225
00:07:18,000 --> 00:07:19,999
>> Black Dynamite: LOOK MELVIN,
MAYBE BLACK DYNAMITE'S JUST TOO
226
00:07:20,000 --> 00:07:21,999
REAL TO BE AROUND MOTHERFUCKERS
WHO ACT LIKE THEY'RE REAL.
227
00:07:22,000 --> 00:07:22,999
I THINK WE'RE GONNA GO.
228
00:07:23,000 --> 00:07:23,999
>> ARE YOU KIDDING ME, MAN?
229
00:07:24,000 --> 00:07:25,999
I COULD USE A REAL BAD-ASS LIKE
YOU AROUND HERE, JACK, FOR, UH,
230
00:07:26,000 --> 00:07:27,999
INSPIRATION.
231
00:07:28,000 --> 00:07:31,999
>> ♪ DYNAMITE! DYNAMITE
>> BITCH, YOU KNOW MY BALLS
232
00:07:32,000 --> 00:07:33,999
DON'T WEAR COTTON DRAWERS.
233
00:07:34,000 --> 00:07:35,999
>> MR. MOORE, YOUR HAIR
IS NEEDED IN HAIR IN 10 MINUTES.
234
00:07:36,000 --> 00:07:40,999
>> I'M COMIN' MOTHERFUCKER! >> MRS.
GRIER, YOUR TITTIES ARE
235
00:07:41,000 --> 00:07:42,999
NEEDED IN M- AH! AH!
236
00:07:43,000 --> 00:07:46,999
[ DOOR SLAMS ] >> SENSEI KELLY?
237
00:07:47,000 --> 00:07:47,999
>> I'M COMIN'.
238
00:07:48,000 --> 00:07:49,999
STILL TRYIN' TO GET BLACK DYNAMITE'S SHOE OUT MY
239
00:07:50,000 --> 00:07:50,999
ASS.
240
00:07:51,000 --> 00:07:51,999
OHH! UNCONSCIOUS.
241
00:07:52,000 --> 00:07:54,999
[ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS
] >> ALL RIGHT, QUIET ON THE SET!
242
00:07:55,000 --> 00:07:56,999
OKAY, ANTONIO, THIS THE BIG
SCENE WHERE YOUR MAMA HAS BEEN
243
00:07:57,000 --> 00:07:58,999
ON THE STROLL ALL DAY,
BUT SHE AIN'T GOT YOUR MONEY.
244
00:07:59,000 --> 00:08:00,999
SO, WHY DON'T YOU GIVE HER A LITTLE MOTIVATION?
245
00:08:01,000 --> 00:08:03,999
>> NOW, DO YOU WANT A 45-DEGREE
"CLEOPATRA JONES" SLAP, OR YOU
246
00:08:04,000 --> 00:08:05,999
WANT A "COME BACK, CHARLESTON BLUE"
247
00:08:06,000 --> 00:08:06,999
UPPER SLAP?
248
00:08:07,000 --> 00:08:08,999
>> [ LAUGHS ] WHATEVER
YOU THINK SHE DESERVES, BABY!
249
00:08:09,000 --> 00:08:09,999
JUST MAKE IT LOOK REAL.
250
00:08:10,000 --> 00:08:10,999
>> COOL.
251
00:08:11,000 --> 00:08:12,999
>> AND ACTION!
252
00:08:13,000 --> 00:08:14,999
ACTION! ACTION!
253
00:08:15,000 --> 00:08:18,999
WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN THERE?
254
00:08:19,000 --> 00:08:21,999
[ TIRES SCREECH ] >> MR. VAN PEEBLES, ALL OF OUR
255
00:08:22,000 --> 00:08:22,999
BLACK STARS ARE GONE!
256
00:08:23,000 --> 00:08:24,380
AIN'T NOBODY SEEN NOTHIN'!
257
00:08:24,381 --> 00:08:24,999
NOBODY, NOBODY, NOBODY!
258
00:08:25,000 --> 00:08:28,999
NO-NO-NOBODY!
259
00:08:29,000 --> 00:08:33,999
[ CELL DOOR SLAMS ] >> YOU WILL NOT SAY FILTH
260
00:08:34,000 --> 00:08:38,999
FLAWRIN FLAWRIN FILTH
IN FRONT OF PEOPLE EVER AGAIN!
261
00:08:39,000 --> 00:08:40,999
DUHHHH!
262
00:08:41,000 --> 00:08:44,000
>> ♪ DYNAMITE! DYNAMITE
[ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ]
263
00:08:51,000 --> 00:08:52,999
>> Black Dynamite: HMM?
264
00:08:53,000 --> 00:08:57,999
NOW, THIS IS SOME HEAVY SHIT.
265
00:08:58,000 --> 00:08:59,440
>> OH, MAN, WHAT AM I GONNA DO?
266
00:08:59,441 --> 00:09:01,999
>> Honey Bee: I CAN ONLY IMAGINE
HOW MUCH MONEY WAS SPENT ON THIS
267
00:09:02,000 --> 00:09:02,999
MOVIE, MELVIN.
268
00:09:03,000 --> 00:09:03,999
>> FUCK THE MONEY!
269
00:09:04,000 --> 00:09:04,999
DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH PUSSY I WOULD HAVE GOT?
270
00:09:05,000 --> 00:09:06,999
>> Black Dynamite: DON'T
COUNT THAT PUSSY OUT YET, MELVIN.
271
00:09:07,000 --> 00:09:07,999
I FOUND A CLUE.
272
00:09:08,000 --> 00:09:08,999
>> THE REVERSE STRIP CLUB?
273
00:09:09,000 --> 00:09:10,999
NOW, THIS IS SOME HEAVY SHIT.
274
00:09:11,000 --> 00:09:12,999
>> Black Dynamite: SOME HEAVY SHIT.
275
00:09:13,000 --> 00:09:13,999
I KNOW.
276
00:09:14,000 --> 00:09:15,999
THERE'S A GOOD CHANCE THAT
WHOEVER LIKES TO WATCH FUNKY
277
00:09:16,000 --> 00:09:17,999
MOOSE KNUCKLES SLIDE UP
AND DOWN POLES AT THIS JOINT ALSO
278
00:09:18,000 --> 00:09:18,999
KIDNAPPED YOUR BLACK STARS.
279
00:09:19,000 --> 00:09:19,999
DON'T WORRY, MELVIN.
280
00:09:20,000 --> 00:09:21,999
I'M GONNA SHOW YOU HOW A
REAL ACTION HERO SAVES THE DAY.
281
00:09:22,000 --> 00:09:22,999
I'M ON THE CASE.
282
00:09:23,000 --> 00:09:25,999
>> THANKS, BLACK DYNAMITE, BUT
WHO KNOWS HOW LONG THAT'LL TAKE?
283
00:09:26,000 --> 00:09:26,999
I STILL NEED TO STAY ON SCHEDULE.
284
00:09:27,000 --> 00:09:28,999
>> Cream Corn: WELL SHIT WE LOOK JUST LIKE THEM.
285
00:09:29,000 --> 00:09:29,999
MAYBE WE CAN STAND IN FOR A WHILE.
286
00:09:30,000 --> 00:09:31,999
>> Black Dynamite: THAT'S
A DUMB-ASS IDEA, CREAM CORN.
287
00:09:32,000 --> 00:09:32,999
>> THAT'S A GREAT IDEA, CREAM CORN.
288
00:09:33,000 --> 00:09:34,999
FELLAS, WE HAVE OUR NEW STARS.
289
00:09:35,000 --> 00:09:36,999
GET THEM IN MAKEUP PRONTO.
290
00:09:37,000 --> 00:09:40,999
>> WELCOME TO THE COSBY COON REMOVAL PROGRAM.
291
00:09:41,000 --> 00:09:45,999
IN 24 HOURS, YOU WILL BE
CONVERTED FROM SELF-DEGRADING
292
00:09:46,000 --> 00:09:50,000
BLAXPLOITATION FILM STARS
TO UPSTANDING, INTELLIGENT,
293
00:09:51,000 --> 00:09:54,999
DIGNIFIED REPRESENTATIVES OF THE BLACK RACE.
294
00:09:55,000 --> 00:09:58,999
AND BLAXPLOITATION WILL BE A THING OF THE PAST!
295
00:09:59,000 --> 00:10:02,999
NOW, HERE ARE THE SCRIPTS
FOR MY NEW SHOW THAT WILL REPRESENT
296
00:10:03,000 --> 00:10:05,999
A CLEAN, WHOLESOME IMAGE OF
THE BLACK COMMUNITY THAT YOU WILL
297
00:10:06,000 --> 00:10:08,999
ALL BE STARRING IN, CALLED...
298
00:10:09,000 --> 00:10:09,999
"THE HUXTABLES."
299
00:10:10,000 --> 00:10:10,999
ANY QUESTIONS?
300
00:10:11,000 --> 00:10:12,999
>> WELL, WHAT IF WE SAY NO?
301
00:10:13,000 --> 00:10:15,999
>> BROWN HORNET?
302
00:10:16,000 --> 00:10:18,999
>> NOW, CREAM CORN, THIS SHOULD
BE EASY FOR YOU, BEING THAT YOU
303
00:10:19,000 --> 00:10:20,999
ARE A REAL PIMP.
304
00:10:21,000 --> 00:10:22,999
NOW, YOUR LINE IS, "BITCH, WHERE'S MY MONEY?"
305
00:10:23,000 --> 00:10:24,999
>> Cream Corn: UH, UH, OKAY.
306
00:10:25,000 --> 00:10:27,999
>> AND ACTION!
307
00:10:28,000 --> 00:10:30,999
>> Cream Corn: UM, GIRL - I-
I-I MEAN, BITCH, UM - WELL, I AIN'T
308
00:10:31,000 --> 00:10:32,999
MEAN TO CALL YOU BITCH, BUT,
UH, COULD YOU GIVE ME MY MONEY,
309
00:10:33,000 --> 00:10:32,999
PLEASE?
310
00:10:33,000 --> 00:10:34,999
>> CUT!
311
00:10:35,000 --> 00:10:36,999
>> Black Dynamite: MOMS MABLEY?
312
00:10:37,000 --> 00:10:38,999
HMM. SHE JUST "MABLEY" BE NEXT.
313
00:10:39,000 --> 00:10:39,999
I SHOULD CHECK IT OUT.
314
00:10:40,000 --> 00:10:42,999
>> COMING TO THE STAGE IS
A BEAUTIFUL, WRETCHED HOE THAT HAS
315
00:10:43,000 --> 00:10:45,880
TURNED EVERY TRICK IN THE
BOOK, BUT IS NOW LOOKIN' FOR SOME
316
00:10:45,881 --> 00:10:45,999
SELF-RESPECT, Y'ALL.
317
00:10:46,000 --> 00:10:50,999
GIVE IT UP FOR ANTI-BIOTICA!
318
00:10:51,000 --> 00:10:56,999
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
] >> ♪ PUT ON THAT BIG BLOUSE
319
00:10:57,000 --> 00:10:59,999
♪ THESE IS MIGHTY ♪ KEEP YOUR TITTIES FROM
320
00:11:00,000 --> 00:11:01,999
FALLING OUT ♪ >> Black Dynamite: SAY, MAMA, IS
321
00:11:02,000 --> 00:11:03,999
IT ME, OR ARE THOSE CATS PAYING
CHICKS TO PUT THEIR CLOTHES ON?
322
00:11:04,000 --> 00:11:04,999
>> THAT'S THE DEAL, DADDY.
323
00:11:05,000 --> 00:11:07,999
HERE WE GET PAID TO RESPECT OURSELVES.
324
00:11:08,000 --> 00:11:08,999
YOU WANT A PRIVATE DANCE?
325
00:11:09,000 --> 00:11:11,999
I'LL GO GET NAKED, SO
I CAN COVER UP JUST FOR YOU.
326
00:11:12,000 --> 00:11:12,999
>> Black Dynamite: UH,
NO, THANKS, BUT YOU CAN TELL ME
327
00:11:13,000 --> 00:11:14,999
WHERE I CAN FIND MOMS MABLEY.
328
00:11:15,000 --> 00:11:19,000
>> HER UNDRESSING ROOM
IS RIGHT THERE TO THE RIGHT.
329
00:11:19,001 --> 00:11:21,999
>> Black Dynamite: MISS
MABLEY, I'M BLACK DYNAMITE.
330
00:11:22,000 --> 00:11:23,140
>> HOT DAMN, I BET YOU IS.
331
00:11:23,141 --> 00:11:24,999
COME ON IN. I WON'T BITE YOU.
332
00:11:25,000 --> 00:11:26,999
MY TEETH IS WAY OVER THERE.
333
00:11:27,000 --> 00:11:28,999
[ LAUGHS ] >> Black Dynamite: NOW, I AIN'T
334
00:11:29,000 --> 00:11:30,999
GOT TIME TO EXPLAIN, BUT THERE
MAY BE DANGER LURKIN' AROUND
335
00:11:31,000 --> 00:11:32,999
EACH AND EVERY NIPPLE OF THIS TITTY BAR.
336
00:11:33,000 --> 00:11:34,999
>> WHATEVER MOTHERFUCKER.
IS YOU EATING PUSSY OR NOT?
337
00:11:35,000 --> 00:11:36,999
>> Black Dynamite: UH, EXCUSE ME?
338
00:11:37,000 --> 00:11:38,999
>> LOOK, YOU CAN EITHER LICK
IT OR STICK IT, BUT QUIT IT IF YOU
339
00:11:39,000 --> 00:11:39,999
CAN'T DO NOTHIN' WITH IT.
340
00:11:40,000 --> 00:11:42,880
IF YOU CAN DO SOMETHIN' WITH
IT, MOTHERFUCKER COME GET IT!
341
00:11:42,881 --> 00:11:44,999
>> Black Dynamite: [ GULPS
] MAYBE THE BITCH SHOULD GET
342
00:11:45,000 --> 00:11:45,999
KIDNAPPED.
343
00:11:46,000 --> 00:11:46,999
>> SHIT IT'S BLACK DYNAMITE.
344
00:11:47,000 --> 00:11:49,000
RUN!
345
00:11:54,381 --> 00:11:56,999
>> OH SHIT MAN, I'M TIRED AS HELL!
346
00:11:57,000 --> 00:11:58,999
>> I THOUGHT BLACK PEOPLE
SUPPOSED TO BE SPRINTERS.
347
00:11:59,000 --> 00:11:59,999
THIS GUYS DOING A GODDAMN MARATHON.
348
00:12:00,000 --> 00:12:05,999
WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT?
! >> Black Dynamite: WHERE ARE THE
349
00:12:06,000 --> 00:12:07,999
"BLACKITY BLACK BLACK" ACTORS
THAT YOU KIDNAPPED, AND WHERE
350
00:12:08,000 --> 00:12:08,999
ARE THEY KIDNAPPED AT?
351
00:12:09,000 --> 00:12:09,999
>> WE DIDN'T KIDNAP NOBODY, BLACK DYNAMITE!
352
00:12:10,000 --> 00:12:11,999
ALL WE DID WAS DRESS UP LIKE
SOME BITCHES SO WE COULD AMBUSH
353
00:12:12,000 --> 00:12:13,999
MELVIN FOR SOME DUES SO
WE COULD GET OUR CABLE BACK ON!
354
00:12:14,000 --> 00:12:14,999
>> Black Dynamite: SO, YOU
WERE THE THREE UGLY BITCHES.
355
00:12:15,000 --> 00:12:16,999
DAMN, Y'ALL SOME SNEAKY PUMAS.
356
00:12:17,000 --> 00:12:18,999
THE KIDNAPPERS DROPPED A
CLUE THAT LED ME TO THIS CLUB.
357
00:12:19,000 --> 00:12:19,999
SO, IF IT AIN'T YOU, WHY YOU HERE?
358
00:12:20,000 --> 00:12:21,999
>> LOOK, MAN, WE JUST HERE
TO ENJOY OURSELVES, THROW A COUPLE
359
00:12:22,000 --> 00:12:23,999
DRAWERS ON THE STAGE, AND GIVE
A FEW BITCHES THEIR DIGNITY BACK.
360
00:12:24,000 --> 00:12:24,999
MAN, I PROMISE!
361
00:12:25,000 --> 00:12:25,999
WE AIN'T KIDNAP NOBODY!
362
00:12:26,000 --> 00:12:27,999
>> Black Dynamite: THEN WHO DID IT, DAMN IT?
363
00:12:28,000 --> 00:12:27,999
WHO?
364
00:12:28,000 --> 00:12:29,999
>> BILL COSBY - THAT'S WHO!
365
00:12:30,000 --> 00:12:30,999
WE HEARD THE WORD ON THE
STREET THAT THIS WAS HIS HANGOUT.
366
00:12:31,000 --> 00:12:31,999
>> Black Dynamite: WAIT.
367
00:12:32,000 --> 00:12:32,999
COSBY, LIKE JELL-O PUDDING, DATE-RAPIN' COSBY?
368
00:12:33,000 --> 00:12:34,999
WHY WOULD HE DO IT?
369
00:12:35,000 --> 00:12:35,999
>> WORD ON THE STREET IS HE'S
STARTING A REVOLUTION TO CHANGE
370
00:12:36,000 --> 00:12:37,999
BLACK TELEVISION AND FILM,
AND THAT'S ALL I KNOW, MAN.
371
00:12:38,000 --> 00:12:38,999
>> Black Dynamite: WHAT ELSE?
372
00:12:39,000 --> 00:12:40,999
WHAT OTHER WORDS WERE ON THAT STREET, DAMN IT?
373
00:12:41,000 --> 00:12:42,999
>> OKAY, OKAY, THE WORD ON
THE STREET DID SAY ONE MORE THING.
374
00:12:43,000 --> 00:12:44,999
IF COSBY CAN'T STOP ALL
THE BLACK ACTORS FROM COONIN' AND
375
00:12:45,000 --> 00:12:46,999
JIVIN' IN HOLLYWOOD, HE
SAID HE'S GONNA KILL THEM ALL.
376
00:12:47,000 --> 00:12:50,000
>> ♪ DYNAMITE! DYNAMITE [ TELEPHONE RINGS ]
377
00:12:59,861 --> 00:13:01,999
>> HUXTABLE RESIDENCE.
378
00:13:02,000 --> 00:13:05,999
NAH, DENISE AIN'T HOME, SUCKER,
BUT I GOT PLENTY OF OTHER HOES
379
00:13:06,000 --> 00:13:07,999
THAT WILL STUDY WITH YOU AND SUCK YOUR -
380
00:13:08,000 --> 00:13:10,999
>> CUT! CUT! NO! NO! NO!
381
00:13:11,000 --> 00:13:14,999
THEODORE WOULD NEVER SAY "AIN'T"
AND "SUCKER" AND "FILTH FLARN
382
00:13:15,000 --> 00:13:15,999
FILTH"!
383
00:13:16,000 --> 00:13:17,999
JUST READ WHAT'S ON THE PAPER!
384
00:13:18,000 --> 00:13:21,999
>> LOOK, POPS, I'M SORRY, BUT
MY MOUTH JUST DON'T FORM NO SQUARE
385
00:13:22,000 --> 00:13:22,999
WORDS, YOU DIG?
386
00:13:23,000 --> 00:13:23,999
I GOT TO ACT LIKE ME.
387
00:13:24,000 --> 00:13:28,999
>> LOOK, I AM TRYING TO CREATE
THE MOST ETHICAL BLACK FAMILY
388
00:13:29,000 --> 00:13:30,999
SHOW IN THE WORLD!
389
00:13:31,000 --> 00:13:34,999
AND I NEED YOU TO ALL BEHAVE
LIKE JELL-O PUDDING-POP EATING,
390
00:13:35,000 --> 00:13:38,999
COKE-AND-A-SMILE-HAVING, COLORFUL-SWEATER-WEARING
391
00:13:39,000 --> 00:13:39,999
HUXTABLES!
392
00:13:40,000 --> 00:13:42,999
NOW SET UP THE NEXT SCENE, PLEASE!
393
00:13:43,000 --> 00:13:44,999
>> CLAIRE! CLAIRE!
394
00:13:45,000 --> 00:13:46,999
MOTHERFUCKER I'M CALLING YOU!
395
00:13:47,000 --> 00:13:47,999
>> I'M COMING, SUCKER.
396
00:13:48,000 --> 00:13:50,999
I WAS BAKING SOME COOKIES FOR YOUR RAGGEDY ASS.
397
00:13:51,000 --> 00:13:52,999
>> BITCH, YOU KNOW I DON'T WANT NO DUNCAN HINES.
398
00:13:53,000 --> 00:13:55,999
I WANT SOME OF THAT NOOKIE
COOKIE FROM THE FRONT DOOR OF
399
00:13:56,000 --> 00:13:56,999
YOUR BEHIND.
400
00:13:57,000 --> 00:13:56,999
>> CUT! CUT!
401
00:13:57,000 --> 00:13:57,999
>> THAT'S IT.
402
00:13:58,000 --> 00:13:59,999
WE AIN'T GOT TO PUT UP WITH THIS SHIT
403
00:14:00,000 --> 00:14:00,999
LET'S GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE.
404
00:14:01,000 --> 00:14:05,999
>> YOU ARE NOT GOING ANYWHERE!
405
00:14:06,000 --> 00:14:09,999
IT IS NOW CLEAR YOU WILL
NOT PERFORM WITH SELF-RESPECT AND
406
00:14:10,000 --> 00:14:12,999
DECENCY, SO I HAVE TO REPROGRAM YOU.
407
00:14:13,000 --> 00:14:15,999
IT IS TIME FOR PHASE TWO.
408
00:14:16,000 --> 00:14:17,999
LET THE REPROGRAMMING BEGIN.
409
00:14:18,000 --> 00:14:21,999
DOUBLE DUHHHH!
410
00:14:22,000 --> 00:14:26,999
>> ♪ DYNAMITE! DYNAMITE [ INDISTINCT SHOUTING ]
411
00:14:27,000 --> 00:14:29,999
>> OKAY, ON "ACTION," I WANT
YOU TO JUMP OFF THIS SIX-STORY
412
00:14:30,000 --> 00:14:33,999
BUILDING, AND HOPEFULLY YOU'LL
LAND ON THIS AIR MATTRESS, OKAY?
413
00:14:34,000 --> 00:14:33,999
>> Honey Bee: OKAY, OKAY.
414
00:14:34,000 --> 00:14:34,999
WAIT. WHAT YOU SAY?
415
00:14:35,000 --> 00:14:39,999
>> ACTION!
416
00:14:40,000 --> 00:14:41,999
[ SHOUTING CONTINUES ] >> Honey Bee: WAIT.
417
00:14:42,000 --> 00:14:42,999
WHAT THE HELL?
418
00:14:43,000 --> 00:14:44,999
ARE THESE MOTHERFUCKERS THROWING FRUIT?
419
00:14:45,000 --> 00:14:45,999
OW!
420
00:14:46,000 --> 00:14:46,999
WHOA! WHOA! WHOA!
421
00:14:47,000 --> 00:14:47,999
>> UGH!
422
00:14:48,000 --> 00:14:48,999
>> WHOA!
423
00:14:49,000 --> 00:14:49,999
>> CUT! CUT!
424
00:14:50,000 --> 00:14:52,999
[ SHOUTING CONTINUES ]
>> Bullhorn: MAN, I DONE READ
425
00:14:53,000 --> 00:14:55,999
EVERY MOTHERFUCKING LINE IN
THIS SCRIPT FROM HEAD TO TOE, AND I
426
00:14:56,000 --> 00:14:58,999
AIN'T SEE NO SCENE WHERE MY
ASS GETS HIT WITH A "TO-MAY-TO" OR A
427
00:14:59,000 --> 00:14:59,999
"TO-MAH-TO"!
428
00:15:00,000 --> 00:15:00,999
>> CREAM CORN, THIS WAS A DUMB-ASS IDEA.
429
00:15:01,000 --> 00:15:03,999
>> Honey Bee: BLACK DYNAMITE,
BLACK DYNAMITE, WHERE ARE YOU?
430
00:15:04,000 --> 00:15:05,999
I'LL BE DAMNED IF I'M GONNA
BE KILLED BY A GRAPEFRUIT OR A
431
00:15:06,000 --> 00:15:07,050
BANANA.
432
00:15:07,051 --> 00:15:09,999
>> Black Dynamite: DO
YOU KNOW WHERE BILL COSBY IS?
433
00:15:10,000 --> 00:15:10,999
DO Y'ALL KNOW WHERE BILL COSBY IS?
434
00:15:11,000 --> 00:15:11,999
TELL ME WHERE BILL COSBY IS, OR I'M-A -
435
00:15:12,000 --> 00:15:14,999
>> MOTHERFUCKER CHECK THE JELL-O PUDDING PLANT.
436
00:15:15,000 --> 00:15:15,999
>> Black Dynamite: I ALREADY
BEEN TO THE GODDAMN JELL-O
437
00:15:16,000 --> 00:15:16,999
PLANT.
438
00:15:17,000 --> 00:15:18,999
[ AUDIENCE GASPS ] [ CLEARS THROAT ]
439
00:15:19,000 --> 00:15:22,190
S-SO, I SAID TO THE CHINAMAN,
"I THREW THAT SHIT BEFORE I WALKED
440
00:15:23,000 --> 00:15:25,000
IN THE ROOM!" UH, WELL FUCK Y'ALL.
441
00:15:26,000 --> 00:15:29,999
[ BLUES MUSIC PLAYS ] ♪ 'CAUSE THE CARS TOOK
442
00:15:30,000 --> 00:15:31,999
THEM AWAY ♪ >> AS YOU CAN SEE, THE BLACK
443
00:15:32,000 --> 00:15:33,999
COMMUNITY IS IN AN UPROAR, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.
444
00:15:34,000 --> 00:15:36,999
THE NEGRO STARS HAVE BEEN
STOLEN, AND APPARENTLY THEIR
445
00:15:37,000 --> 00:15:39,999
LESS-THAN-TALENTED REPLACEMENTS
AREN'T BEING RECEIVED VERY WELL.
446
00:15:40,000 --> 00:15:42,999
IF ONLY THERE WAS A REAL HERO
OUT THERE THAT COULD SAVE THESE
447
00:15:43,000 --> 00:15:45,520
ACTORS, SOMEONE THAT'S BIG, BLACK, AND DYNAMITE!
448
00:15:45,521 --> 00:15:46,999
BUT RIGHT NOW, IT SEEMS AS THOUGH THERE ISN'T.
449
00:15:47,000 --> 00:15:49,999
>> Black Dynamite: MAN, THESE
BLACK STARS REALLY MEAN A LOT TO
450
00:15:50,000 --> 00:15:50,999
THIS COMMUNITY.
451
00:15:51,000 --> 00:15:52,999
IN THE MOVIES, THE HERO ALWAYS GETS HIS MAN.
452
00:15:53,000 --> 00:15:54,999
WHY CAN'T I?
453
00:15:55,000 --> 00:15:56,999
MAYBE BLACK DYNAMITE AIN'T
THE REAL BLACKITY, BLACK, BLACK,
454
00:15:57,000 --> 00:15:57,999
BLACK HERO HE THOUGHT HE WAS.
455
00:15:58,000 --> 00:15:59,999
>> WELL FUCK YOU, TOO!
456
00:16:00,000 --> 00:16:02,999
I DON'T KNOW WHY THE HELL
MY MANAGER WOULD BOOK MY NASTY ASS
457
00:16:03,000 --> 00:16:06,999
AT A SQUARE MOTHERFUCKING CLUB LIKE THIS, ANYWAY.
458
00:16:07,000 --> 00:16:07,999
WHY THE LONG FACE, HONEY?
459
00:16:08,000 --> 00:16:09,999
YOU LOOK LIKE YOU LOST YOUR DICK.
460
00:16:10,000 --> 00:16:11,999
>> Black Dynamite: NAH,
I STILL GOT MY DICK, MOMS MABLEY.
461
00:16:12,000 --> 00:16:12,999
WHAT I DON'T HAVE IS BILL COSBY.
462
00:16:13,000 --> 00:16:14,999
HE'S KIDNAPPED ALL THE BLACK
STARS, AND I CAN'T FIND HIM.
463
00:16:15,000 --> 00:16:16,999
>> YOU LOOKIN' FOR BILL?
464
00:16:17,000 --> 00:16:19,999
ME AND BILL GO WAY BACK TO
THE DAYS OF FUCKIN' BUT THE ONLY
465
00:16:20,000 --> 00:16:21,999
PROBLEM WAS, HE WASN'T DOIN' NO FUCKIN'
466
00:16:22,000 --> 00:16:23,999
IN FACT, HE DIDN'T EVEN
WANT ME TO TALK ABOUT FUCKIN'
467
00:16:24,000 --> 00:16:24,999
SHIT, THAT'S MY WHOLE ACT.
468
00:16:25,000 --> 00:16:26,999
>> Black Dynamite: SO, YOU
CAN SHOW ME WHERE TO FIND HIM SO
469
00:16:27,000 --> 00:16:29,999
THAT BLACK DYNAMITE CAN PROVE
TO HIS COMMUNITY HE'S THE REAL
470
00:16:30,000 --> 00:16:30,999
BAD-ASS ACTION HERO HE KNOWS HE IS?
471
00:16:31,000 --> 00:16:31,999
>> OF COURSE, BABY.
472
00:16:32,000 --> 00:16:32,999
>> Black Dynamite: THANK YOU, MOMS MABLEY.
473
00:16:33,000 --> 00:16:34,999
>> RIGHT AFTER YOU THROW ME ONE RIGHT QUICK.
474
00:16:35,000 --> 00:16:35,999
>> Black Dynamite: WHAT?
475
00:16:36,000 --> 00:16:37,999
>> HEY, WITH GREAT DICK
COMES GREAT RESPONSIBILITY.
476
00:16:38,000 --> 00:16:39,999
[ LAUGHS ] >> Black Dynamite: ALL RIGHT,
477
00:16:40,000 --> 00:16:41,999
COME ON, LET'S HURRY THIS SHIT UP.
478
00:16:42,000 --> 00:16:46,000
>> ♪ DYNAMITE! DYNAMITE >> AAH!
479
00:16:46,001 --> 00:16:47,999
>> NO! NO! NO!
480
00:16:48,000 --> 00:16:50,999
NOW, WHERE IS COCKROACH?
481
00:16:51,000 --> 00:16:52,999
>> HERE I AM.
482
00:16:53,000 --> 00:16:55,999
AAH!
483
00:16:56,000 --> 00:16:58,999
>> NOW, YOU KNOWS I'M A
FREAK, SO GET ON YOUR KNEES LIKE
484
00:16:59,000 --> 00:17:00,999
"A WHORA," OR I'M GONNA HAVE
YOU ON THE STREET SELLIN' THAT
485
00:17:01,000 --> 00:17:02,500
BUSH MEAT "DOORA" TO "DOORA"!
486
00:17:02,501 --> 00:17:03,999
>> THAT'S NOT THE LINE!
487
00:17:04,000 --> 00:17:05,999
YOU DON'T SAY "DOORA"!
488
00:17:06,000 --> 00:17:07,050
THE LETTER IS "R"!
489
00:17:08,000 --> 00:17:10,999
IT'S "R," AS IN "ARE YOU STUPID?"
490
00:17:11,000 --> 00:17:12,999
>> AAH!
491
00:17:13,000 --> 00:17:17,999
"ARRA" MOTHERFUCKER "ARRA"!
492
00:17:18,000 --> 00:17:19,999
"R." "R."
493
00:17:20,000 --> 00:17:22,999
ARE YOU HAPPY NOW, MOTHER FILTH FLARN?
494
00:17:23,000 --> 00:17:23,999
"R."
495
00:17:24,000 --> 00:17:24,999
>> KOO-KOO-KA-CHOO!
496
00:17:25,000 --> 00:17:26,999
I THINK THEY'VE GOT IT!
497
00:17:27,000 --> 00:17:29,999
I'M ALMOST DONE!
498
00:17:30,000 --> 00:17:33,000
PAMMY, BABY, YOU ARE THE LAST ONE.
499
00:17:33,001 --> 00:17:34,999
>> YOU WANT ME TO STRIP?
500
00:17:35,000 --> 00:17:35,999
[ LAUGHS ] COOL.
501
00:17:36,000 --> 00:17:38,999
>> NO, I WANT YOU TO PUT IT ON!
502
00:17:39,000 --> 00:17:40,050
PUT IT ON!
503
00:17:41,000 --> 00:17:42,050
PUT IT ON!
504
00:17:45,000 --> 00:17:47,999
[ LAUGHTER ] [ BOINK! BOINK! BOINK! ]
505
00:17:48,000 --> 00:17:49,999
>> HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?
506
00:17:50,000 --> 00:17:50,999
THIS IS SO HUMILIATING.
507
00:17:51,000 --> 00:17:52,999
BILL COSBY, YOU'RE A MONSTER!
508
00:17:53,000 --> 00:17:54,999
>> YOU LOOK SO DIGNIFIED, BABY!
509
00:17:55,000 --> 00:17:57,999
JUST ONE MORE ARTICLE OF
CLOTHING, AND MY MISSION WILL BE
510
00:17:58,000 --> 00:17:58,999
COMPLETE!
511
00:17:59,000 --> 00:18:00,999
>> Black Dynamite: AHH-SUEY!
512
00:18:01,000 --> 00:18:03,820
>> ♪ DYNAMITE! DYNAMITE
>> BLACK DYNAMITE, I'M SO GLAD
513
00:18:03,821 --> 00:18:04,999
YOU'RE HERE.
514
00:18:05,000 --> 00:18:05,999
>> Black Dynamite: UNCOVER THOSE TITTIES, PAM.
515
00:18:06,000 --> 00:18:07,999
PLANETS THAT HEAVENLY ARE MEANT TO BE IN ORBIT.
516
00:18:08,000 --> 00:18:09,999
BILL COSBY, YOUR HATE FOR BLAXPLOITATION IS ONLY
517
00:18:10,000 --> 00:18:12,999
OUTMATCHED BY YOUR ZEST
FOR REVERSE STRIP TREACHERY.
518
00:18:13,000 --> 00:18:15,999
>> BLACK DYNAMITE, ARE YOU
CRAZY, BUSTING INTO MY PLACE,
519
00:18:16,000 --> 00:18:17,999
MESSING UP A PERFECTLY GOOD REVERSE STRIP!
520
00:18:18,000 --> 00:18:20,999
>> Black Dynamite: BILL COSBY,
UNHAND THOSE BLAXPLOITATION
521
00:18:21,000 --> 00:18:22,999
STARS, OR I'M GONNA EXPLOIT
MY BLACK FIST IN YOUR FACE, CAN YOU
522
00:18:23,000 --> 00:18:23,999
DIG IT?
523
00:18:24,000 --> 00:18:24,999
>> LOOK BEHIND YOU - IT'S SIDNEY POITIER.
524
00:18:25,000 --> 00:18:26,999
>> Black Dynamite: YOU DON'T
EXPECT ME TO FALL FOR THE OLD
525
00:18:27,000 --> 00:18:28,999
"SIDNEY POITIER BEHIND THE BACK" TRICK.
526
00:18:29,000 --> 00:18:29,999
THAT'S THE OLDEST TRICK IN THE BOOK.
527
00:18:30,000 --> 00:18:34,999
BLACK DYNAMITE'S BEEN AROUND TOO LONG FOR -
528
00:18:35,000 --> 00:18:38,999
>> NOW, IT SEEMS TO ME THAT
YOU NEED TO BE REPROGRAMMED, TOO.
529
00:18:39,000 --> 00:18:39,999
WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS SCOWLING?
530
00:18:40,000 --> 00:18:41,999
YOU ARE SCARING WHITE PEOPLE!
531
00:18:42,000 --> 00:18:43,999
I WANT YOU TO SMILE!
532
00:18:44,000 --> 00:18:45,999
>> Black Dynamite: I AM SMILING.
533
00:18:46,000 --> 00:18:47,999
>> "I AM SMILING"? NO!
534
00:18:48,000 --> 00:18:49,999
THIS IS A SMILE!
535
00:18:50,000 --> 00:18:50,999
DUHHHH!
536
00:18:51,000 --> 00:18:54,999
NOW YOU...WILL SMILE!
537
00:18:55,000 --> 00:18:59,999
[ ELECTRICITY ZAPPING ]
>> Black Dynamite: YOUR ELECTRIC
538
00:19:00,000 --> 00:19:01,999
BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION COULD
NEVER WORK ON ME 'CAUSE I'M NO
539
00:19:02,000 --> 00:19:02,999
ACTOR.
540
00:19:03,000 --> 00:19:04,999
I'M A REAL BAD-ASS SHIT
TALKING, ASS-KICKIN' MOTHERFUCKA
541
00:19:05,000 --> 00:19:06,999
CAN YOU DIG IT?
542
00:19:07,000 --> 00:19:10,999
>> NO, I CAN'T DIG IT, BUT
YOU CAN DIG THESE FILTH FLAWRNS!
543
00:19:11,000 --> 00:19:13,999
>> WHAT THE FUCK IS A FILTH FLAWRN MOTHERFUCKER?!
544
00:19:14,000 --> 00:19:18,999
>> ♪ DYNAMITE! DYNAMITE >> NO! NOT YOU!
545
00:19:19,000 --> 00:19:22,000
>> YEAH MOTHERFUCKER
IT'S ME AND MY PUSSY THAT YOU
546
00:19:19,000 --> 00:19:22,000
WOULDN'T EAT.
547
00:19:22,001 --> 00:19:23,999
>> DOHHH!
548
00:19:24,000 --> 00:19:25,999
>> YOU NO PUSSY SUCKIN' SON
OF A BITCH, YOU ASS-FACE FUCKER
549
00:19:26,000 --> 00:19:29,999
BITCH-ASS BUMBLE FUCK BASTARD, YOU CUNT FACE
550
00:19:30,000 --> 00:19:32,999
COCK SMOKIN' DOUCHEBAG
GODDAMN DICK WEASEL OF A FUCK
551
00:19:33,000 --> 00:19:34,999
FUCK >> Black Dynamite: THAT'S IT
552
00:19:35,000 --> 00:19:35,999
MOMS MABLEY, KEEP TALKIN' THAT SHIT
553
00:19:36,000 --> 00:19:39,000
>> YOU AIN'T NOTHIN' BUT
A RIM-JOBBING SHIT SPITTIN'
554
00:19:40,000 --> 00:19:43,000
BLACK COCK LIP-HAVIN' MOTHERFUCKIN' COCK SUCKING
555
00:19:40,000 --> 00:19:43,000
SUCKIN SON OF A BITCH!
556
00:19:44,000 --> 00:19:45,999
>> [ CRYING ]
557
00:19:46,000 --> 00:19:48,999
>> Black Dynamite: DIDN'T I
TELL YOU TO WAIT YOUR ASS IN THE CAR?
558
00:19:49,000 --> 00:19:50,999
>> SHIT. I CAN LEAVE YOUR
BLACK ASS TIED UP IF YOU WANT
559
00:19:51,000 --> 00:19:51,999
ME TO.
560
00:19:52,000 --> 00:19:52,999
>> NOT SO FAST, MOMS MABLEY.
561
00:19:53,000 --> 00:19:57,000
[ GUN COCKS ] GUESS WHO'S COMING TO DINNER.
562
00:20:04,000 --> 00:20:05,999
>> BROWN HORNETS!
563
00:20:06,000 --> 00:20:07,999
>> Black Dynamite: MAN, I
HOPE YOU ACTORS CAN ACT LIKE Y'ALL
564
00:20:08,000 --> 00:20:08,999
CAN REALLY FIGHT.
565
00:20:09,000 --> 00:20:09,999
>> JUST KEEP COOL.
566
00:20:10,000 --> 00:20:10,999
I WILL HANDLE THIS.
567
00:20:11,000 --> 00:20:12,999
>> HOO-WHEE! HOOP-HOOP!
568
00:20:13,000 --> 00:20:13,999
HOO-WHEE!
569
00:20:14,000 --> 00:20:15,999
>> Black Dynamite: JIM KELLY, SIT YOUR ASS DOWN.
570
00:20:16,000 --> 00:20:18,000
ALL OF YOU, SIT! SIT!
571
00:20:19,000 --> 00:20:21,000
>> GET THAT MOTHERFUCKER DAHHHH!
572
00:20:31,000 --> 00:20:34,999
>> Black Dynamite: AHH-SUEY!
573
00:20:35,000 --> 00:20:38,999
>> I JUST WANTED NIGGAS
TO DO BETTER, BLACK DYNAMITE!
574
00:20:39,000 --> 00:20:41,999
>> Black Dynamite: BILL COSBY,
YOU CAN'T EXPECT ALL THE BLACK
575
00:20:42,000 --> 00:20:43,999
COMMUNITY TO BE INCREDIBLY
INTELLIGENT, INSIGHTFUL, AND
576
00:20:44,000 --> 00:20:46,999
HILARIOUSLY FUNNY COMEDY MEN,
JUST LIKE I CAN'T EXPECT THEM
577
00:20:47,000 --> 00:20:48,999
ALL TO BE SUPER-BAD, EX-C.
I.A., PRIVATE-EYE, ASS-KICKIN'
578
00:20:49,000 --> 00:20:50,999
MACHINES LIKE MYSELF.
579
00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:53,999
BUT WITH BLACK EXPLOITATION
MOVIES, AT LEAST MOTHERFUCKERS
580
00:20:54,000 --> 00:20:54,999
CAN FANTASIZE ABOUT IT.
581
00:20:55,000 --> 00:20:55,999
AFTER ALL, THESE ARE THE
ONLY HEROES THEY GOT ON THE BIG
582
00:20:56,000 --> 00:20:57,999
SCREEN.
583
00:20:58,000 --> 00:20:58,999
AND EVEN IF HOLLYWOOD DID
MAKE A BLACK SUPER HERO, THEY'D
584
00:20:59,000 --> 00:21:00,999
PROBABLY MAKE HIM A DAMN HELL SPAWN OR SOMETHING.
585
00:21:01,000 --> 00:21:01,999
>> YOU'RE RIGHT.
586
00:21:02,000 --> 00:21:02,999
YOU'RE RIGHT, BLACK DYNAMITE.
587
00:21:03,000 --> 00:21:04,999
I'M SORRY.
588
00:21:05,000 --> 00:21:06,999
>> Black Dynamite: WELL, YOU
CAN STILL MAKE YOUR LITTLE COSBY
589
00:21:07,000 --> 00:21:06,999
SHOW, BILL COSBY.
590
00:21:07,000 --> 00:21:07,999
WHO KNOWS?
591
00:21:08,000 --> 00:21:09,999
IT COULD MAKE A DIFFERENT
WORLD FOR OUR PEOPLE IN TELEVISION.
592
00:21:10,000 --> 00:21:11,999
BUT IT AIN'T GONNA HAPPEN WITH THESE CATS.
593
00:21:12,000 --> 00:21:12,999
CAN YOU DIG IT?
594
00:21:13,000 --> 00:21:13,999
>> DUG!
595
00:21:14,000 --> 00:21:15,999
OHH!
596
00:21:16,000 --> 00:21:17,999
>> IT'S "ARRA" MOTHERFUCKER! "ARRA"!
597
00:21:18,000 --> 00:21:21,999
>> OHH!
598
00:21:22,000 --> 00:21:23,999
>> WELL, YOU HEARD IT HERE, FOLKS.
599
00:21:24,000 --> 00:21:25,999
THE "BLACKITY BLACK BLACK BLACK" STARS ARE BACK!
600
00:21:26,000 --> 00:21:29,999
AND ONCE AGAIN, THE BLACK
COMMUNITY HAS BIG BLACK HEROES
601
00:21:30,000 --> 00:21:32,999
ON THE BIG WHITE SCREEN, THANKS
TO THE ONE AND ONLY REAL HERO IN
602
00:21:33,000 --> 00:21:35,999
THE BLACK COMMUNITY, BLACK DYNAMITE.
603
00:21:36,000 --> 00:21:38,999
>> WELL, NOW THAT EVERYTHING
IS BACK TO NORMAL, LET'S FINISH
604
00:21:39,000 --> 00:21:42,999
THIS "BLACKITY BLACK BLACK
BLACK" MOVIE ONCE AND FOR ALL!
605
00:21:43,000 --> 00:21:44,999
AND ACTION!
606
00:21:45,000 --> 00:21:47,999
>> I CANNOT BELIEVE THAT THESE
FILTHY FLAWRNS DID NOT WANT TO
607
00:21:48,000 --> 00:21:48,999
CLEAN UP THEIR ACT.
608
00:21:49,000 --> 00:21:51,999
WELL, MORE MILLIONS OF DOLLARS FOR ME!
609
00:21:52,000 --> 00:21:54,999
>> WHATEVER MOTHERFUCKER
IS YOU EATIN' PUSSY OR NOT?
610
00:21:55,000 --> 00:21:56,050
>> OH! SORRY!
611
00:21:56,051 --> 00:21:57,999
DUHHH!
612
00:21:58,000 --> 00:22:00,999
>> ♪ DYNAMITE! DYNAMITE >> [ LAUGHS ]
613
00:22:01,000 --> 00:22:04,000
>> [ GURGLING ]
614
00:22:04,050 --> 00:22:08,600
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