All language subtitles for Bunkd s04e09.WEB-DL.x264-ION10

♪♪

Since we started
cleaning up the lake,
the fish are happier.

I think.

They're not
big smilers.

Plus, now that
they're less toxic,

we can catch and
eat them again.

I guess we don't give fish
a lot to smile about.

#Cleanlake.

#Alldone.

#Wokeuplikethis.

(CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS)

But we're not
all done.

We just cleared
a very small patch.

Social media isn't
about reality,
it's about looking good.

And cat memes.

Oh. And here I thought it
was about the instantaneous
dopamine rush

to distract us from
the imminent apocalypse.

Okay.

Gwen, the image
you put out into the world
is everything.

It's how people
judge you.

The goal is to look
as good as possible
at all times.

Wow.
I've never really worried
about the way I look.

Maybe because I just
started living in
a place with mirrors.

MATTEO: Hey, guys!
Check it out!

Look at all the trash
I fished out of the lake with
my new trash picker.

I'm more machine
than man now.

Where's Finn? I thought
he went out in
the canoe with you.

Ew! What were you
doing in there?

Looking for my keys.

Kidding!
I just love trash.

♪ Kikiwaka, Kikiwaka

♪ Kikiwaka, Kikiwaka

♪ Kikiwaka, Kikiwaka ♪

Good morning, campers.

Got a few announcements.

First, whoever keeps changing

"Camp Director"
to "Damp Director"

on the camp website
needs to stop.

Second, tomorrow night
is our annual

Camp Kikiwaka Founder's Day
Jubilee.

(ALL CLAP AND CHEER)

What's that?

It's to celebrate the day
Jedediah Swearengen
founded the camp.

The counselors put on
a terrible, boring play

all about Kikiwaka history.

Then why did
everyone cheer?

Because after the play,
there's an awesome
ice cream social.

Last year I ate
so much ice cream,

I had a brain freeze
for three days.

Who knew you even had
that much brain to freeze?

I know!

Now that I'm Damp Director...

Darn it!
Camp Director,

I will be playing the role
of Jedediah in the play.

And it'll be the first time
our newest counselors,

Ava and Noah, help bring
our rich camp history to life.

We get to be
in a play?

We have to
be in a play?

One other piece of
exciting news.

I've been contacted by
Nature Nurture magazine.

They saw Destiny's post
about her lake clean-up,

and they're sending
a reporter tomorrow

to interview her
and take pictures.

Let's all give Destiny
a round of applause.

ALL: Yeah!

No, you shouldn't!

You really, really shouldn't.

I am so proud
of you, Destiny.

And I'm excited
about a headline
for Camp Kikiwaka

that doesn't start
with "Tragic fire,"

or "Tragic sinkhole,"
or "Tragic racoon uprising."

This is terrible.

We're not done
cleaning up the lake

and my post said that
it was already perfect.

When this reporter
comes tomorrow,

everybody will know
that it's not.

I'll be humiliated.

Then we'll help you
make it perfect.

In a day?

Impossible.

That's what they
told Pythagoras

when he first proposed
the earth is round.

(LAUGHS)

"The earth is round."
Good one.

We'll talk later.

All right, counselors.

Who is ready to make
this year's play
the best ever?

I am.

All of my many acting skills
are at your disposal.

Great! You'll be performing
the important role

of the first tree.

As in the first tree
Jedediah cut down
to build his cabins.

Okay. Does the tree
have lines?

It's not a talking tree.

Can it at least dance?

You do know how
trees work, right?

Ava, you'll be playing
Jedediah's wife Esther.

Yeesh!

Maybe we could update
the wardrobe a bit?

What are you
talking about?

That costume is authentic.
Fun fact.

Esther passed away
in that very dress.

The rest of you will be
in the chorus
of first campers.

You were here last year,
so grab costumes

while I get Ava
and Noah up to speed
with our rehearsals.

How many lines
do I have?

Not that many.
Esther was a woman
of few words.

Which will happen
when you're raised
by squirrels.

She was what now?

As Jedediah, I mostly
monologue about camp.

I have the part memorized,
so you can work off
the script for now.

How long is this play?

Anywhere from
two to three hours.

Really just depends
on how many times
I lose my voice.

Okay, the reporter from
Nature Nurture magazine
will be here tomorrow.

But I have a plan.

We eat all the trash?

Sorry, I'm not good
with plans.

We'll gather all the trash
between the boatshed
and the creek,

then, we'll just keep
the reporter
in the clean area.

You think that will work?

It's like when I won
the Miss Waffle Palace
pageant,

even though I messed up
my baton performance.

I dropped the baton
on a backhand toss,

but covered with
a reverse flash.

I did a reverse flash
at school once
and got sent home.

Matteo and I will
gather all the garbage
into piles.

Gwen, you'll sort
the piles for recycling.

And Finn, you'll bag it all
so it can be picked up
tomorrow.

Where's it going?

Are you donating it
to kids who don't have
trash to play with?

(SIGHS)

Yes, Finn.

Kinda in a hurry
here, Matteo.

I don't think
those gloves
are working.

You're right.

I could still get
garbage juice on
my clothes this way.

Good thing I brought
my HazMat suit.

Actually, how about you
just take a break?
(LAUGHS NERVOUSLY)

A break?
But we just started.

Don't you need
my help?

Sure...
At some point.

But don't find me,
I'll find you.

Is that okay?

I guess the world
will keep on turning.

(LAUGHS)

Turning.

You know, we really need
to have that talk.

As Camp Kikiwaka thrived,
I sat and pondered

how it all started
with one tree,

and one man.

Me, Jedediah Swearengen,
and...

Ava, get up.
This is your line.

"One loving wife, me,
Esther Swearengen...

"Squirrel noises."

You're supposed to
make squirrel noises.

Yeah, I'm not
gonna do that.

And the rest was history.

The history of
Camp Kikiwaka.

Okay, good start.

Ava, Noah, take five.

I'm gonna say "five,"
I mean "one."

That was awful.

And I was in a one man
production of A Chorus Line.

At least you get to
lay down for it.

I have to look interested
and keep hiding nuts.

Campers must
hate this play.

Should we say
something to Lou?

No, I don't really
care that much.

Let's just get through it.

Ava, for this
next run-through,

how about you wear
the death dress?

Lou, we need to talk.

Look, don't think of it as
the dress she died in.

Think of it as the dress
she lived in.

(WHISPERS)
And then died in.

No, it's more
about the play.

Don't you think
it's just a little...

Boring?

Oh.

I see where
this is coming from.

From the fact
the play is boring?

Look, I know it can
get cold outside
of Jedediah's spotlight,

but you gotta pay
your dues, buckaroos.

No, we're not upset
about our parts.

Speak for yourself.

We just think it could use
a little something more.

Like a small fire
to burn half the script.

Guys, the campers
love the play
the way it is.

It's our camp's history,
and you can't just
rewrite history.

Unless it's Esther and
First Tree fanfiction.

In which case,
you are late
to the party.

Places!

Finn, can you
bag up the pile
behind the boatshed?

Just to warn you,

there are some
gross food wrappers,

an old diaper,

some strange
black goo...

All right, all right.
You can stop selling it.
I'm going.

Um, Gwen?

What are you doing?

I made the recyclables
look nice in case you
wanted to post a picture.

But I can't post
any more pictures,

because it's supposed to
already be a #cleanlake.

Also, the cans should
be crushed.

And the cardboard shouldn't be
mixed in with the newspaper.

Trash is a lot easier
when you're dealing
with carcasses.

I'm used to separating
things into bones and guts.

Gwen, the reporter
is coming today,

and nothing is perfect.

(SIGHS) But I can
do your job, too.

Just go ahead
and take a break.

Don't you need help
crushing them?

(GROANS)

You got this.

Ava, Noah. Rehearsal.

Let's nail it down
with lucky number seven.

Matteo just wants to give
us a camper's opinion
on last year's play.

Wait, what?

You said we were going to
taste test ice cream samples.

I lied.
Get over it.

Go ahead. Tell Lou
what you thought
of last year's play.

Maybe I'm the wrong
camper to ask.

I'm not really
representative
of my demographic.

Come on, Matteo.
You've seen the play

when it all comes together
on the big night.

Tell 'em you love it.

Uh, it's just...

The play's a bit, um...

Dry and educational?

No, I love dry
and educational.

This is bloated
and historically
questionable.

Sorry, Lou.

I guess neither of us
got what we wanted

out of this conversation.

But the play's
a camp tradition.

We get it.

The play's an important part
of the jubilee.

Ava and I just have
some ideas
to make it better.

I guess it couldn't hurt
to hear your ideas.

Picture this.

Everything's different.

Would you guys like
a little more time to
work on your ideas?

Yes, please.

Finn, why is it taking
so long to bag up
all the garbage?

It's just you and me now,
and we're running out
of time.

Well, it takes a while
to pick out all
the "keep" trash.

Did you know someone
threw out a perfectly good
broken golf club?

Are you kidding me?

I know, right?

This is the "keep" trash,

and that's
the "trash" trash.

Uh-oh.

Or is that
the "trash" trash?

Only one way
to find out.

Yeah.

That's the good stuff.

The good stuff?

(GASPS) The good stuff?

Am I on break?

So on break!

What are you guys
doing here?

Noah and Ava needed
a test audience for
the new version of the play.

We'll see
if that's true.

I've been misled before.

Lou! Great.

I think we're ready
to show you what we got.

Get up here and let's
give it a try.

Ooh! Do I need
a script?

Nope.
Just your smiling face.

Just stand over here.

A long time ago,

there was a man
named Jedediah Swearengen.

He cut down some trees
and built some cabins.

And some other
stuff happened.

And now we have
the jubilee
in his honor,

so we can enjoy...

BOTH: Ice cream!

(HIP HOP MUSIC PLAYING)

♪ Ice cream in da house

♪ Mint, chocolate chip

♪ Buh-buh-butter
butterscotch ♪

Now this
is entertainment!

Stop!

(MUSIC STOPS)

My head is stuck,
but I am moving forward
with my outrage.

What is this?
What happened to
the history of camp?

The Ice Cream Social
seems to be the only part
of the jubilee

the kids really care about.

So we leaned into that.

Is that really how
everyone feels?

ALL: Yeah.

Well, then you guys can
do whatever you want
for the jubilee

without me.

Lou, you can't quit.

I just did.

Look away!

Done! And I have just enough
time to get ready before
the reporter gets here,

so I look...
(SING-SONG) Perfect!

I found a comb
if you need it.

Finn, what are you
doing in there?

This is what
I do on break.

(INHALES DEEPLY)

Mmm. Aromatherapy.

Well, get out of there,
because I have
a garbage truck coming to...

(GASPING)

Oh, no!
I was so busy
doing everything,

I forgot to schedule
trash pickup.

Double oh, no.

I also think you mixed
the "keep trash" and
the "trash trash."

I'll go cover
myself back up.

What are you guys
doing here?

Finn told us you
needed our help.

So we're canceling
the breaks you sent us on.

You would do that?

After I sent you away?

It's okay.

Taking a break
from cleaning up trash

isn't as bad
as you think.

Thanks, guys.

We have to find a way
to get this trash
out of here somehow.

It's too late.

The reporter will be here
in a half hour.

Tell us how to help.
We'll do anything.

I just don't know what
to do with this giant pile.

But I'm open
to suggestions.

No matter how imperfect,
there are no bad ideas.

Well, when my mom
forces me to clean
my room,

I usually just shove
everything under my bed.

Okay, there's
one bad idea.

No, that could work.

We just need
a really big bed.

Jedediah?

How...

Is it really you?

Well, it ain't Santa Claus.

I can't believe
I'm talking to you.

And I can't believe
you walked out
on my jubilee.

I know. I'm sorry,
but the campers
hate the play,

and I don't want
to be a part of it

if we aren't
going to celebrate
our camp's history.

And you.

Did you know that when
I first built the camp

I didn't start with
the cabins?

Really?
But the play says...

Yeah, yeah,
the play fudges
a few facts.

Originally, we just had tents.

But the campers
kept complaining,

"The wind
blows them down.
It's too cold.

"The wolves can get in
and drag us away."

It is always something
with kids.

And that's when I really
cut down the first tree
and built the cabins.

After all, camp is
all about helping
the campers have a good time.

But isn't it also
about learning?

It's about both.

And leading is
about compromise.

Take it from the guy
who lost a lot
of campers to wolves

due to his stubborn pride.

I think I understand.

Good. Then my job
here is done.

But, before I go,
can you help me with
an itch on my back

I just can't reach?

Holy moly!

Hey, Jedediah,

how exactly did you die?

Come to think of it,
I'm not sure.

The last thing I remember
was getting into an argument

with my buddy Hatchet Joe.

Why do you ask?

No reason.

AVA: Lou! Lou!

Do you hear that?

AVA: (SHOUTING) Lou!

Lou!
Stabbed in the back!

I know. I know.

But that's why
we're here.

To say how sorry
we are

for messing up
your play.

You guys were
just trying to help.

I mean, you didn't.

And you severely
underestimated the size
of the human head.

But I'm the one
who should be apologizing
for being so stubborn.

It's okay.
We'll do the old play.

It'll be great.

Actually, I have
an idea how to keep
the tradition alive,

and not bore
the campers to tears.

But I'm gonna
need your help.

Do I have to wear
the dead squirrel
lady's dress?

No.
Then I'm in.

I can't believe
we did it!

Me neither.

I'd say I've never had
more fun in the trash,

but I'd be lying.

Hey, kids. I was told
I could find Destiny
down here?

I'm Randy, with
Nature Nurture magazine.

Oh, hi.
I'm Destiny.

I didn't realize
it was already time
for the interview.

We were just hanging out,
enjoying our nice,
clean lake.

Ah! Looks just as good
as in your posts.

Should we start
with the interview?

Then I'll give you
a little time to, uh...
(SNIFFS) Mmm!

Defunk.

(DOOR CREAKING)

Uh, let's just take some pics.

Are you sure?

A lot of readers
are gonna be seeing
these pictures online.

I look great, Randy!

Okay, okay!

Funky it is.

Thanks for all your help.

I think we're actually
gonna pull this off.

(CREAKING)

Let's just snap one off.
Go ahead, snap it.

Snappy snap it.

Okay. Say "cheese!"

(MEEKLY) Cheese.

What is going on?

Where did all this
trash come from?

It's over, Finn.

This is the trash
we collected from
everything you can see.

The rest of the lake is
still littered with trash.

But your posts...

They were misleading.

I was trying so hard
to look perfect,

but now you know
the truth.

The truth is,
you've made a lot
of progress.

You shouldn't put so much
pressure on yourself
to look perfect.

Yeah. I think
you're perfect already.

Even if you're
not perfect.

Not perfect is
perfectly fine.

Does that make
any sense?

Perfect sense.

I guess I forgot the reason
I started doing this lake
cleanup in the first place

was to support
a cause I believe in.

(CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKING)

Uh... Please, don't.

(SIGHS)
It's so embarrassing.

No, it's amazing.

I had no idea
you collected
so much trash.

People should see this.

Then maybe
they'll recycle more.

Or at least be mindful
of how much they throw away.

And where it can end up.

But there's still
so much left to do.

Then I'll come back for
a follow-up piece.

Clean lake, colon,
the story of a clean lake.

Okay, I'll work on it.

In the meantime,
can you kids pose in
front of that trash?

You don't have to
ask me twice.

And now,
we proudly present,

Swearengen!

(MUSIC PLAYING)

♪ In 1843
I set out with my wife

♪ To find new land
and to start a new life

♪ Then I found this big lake
Stood on this big-a rock-a

♪ And said it's time to build
Camp Kikiwaka

♪ It's time to stop the talk-a
and let's start Camp Kikiwaka

♪ Kikiwaka

♪ Camp wiggity, wiggity wakka

♪ This will be the tree
I cut down for my plan

♪ I gotta check for squirrels
'Cause the wife is a fan

♪ Don't forget where
you come from

♪ First tree about to
lay down some roots

♪ Ooh, look at me

♪ I'm a talking, dancing tree

♪ The campers will come
enjoy summers with no end

♪ With fun, games, food
and lifelong friends

♪ Where my woodchucks at? ♪

(KIDS CHEERING)

This is amazing.

Who knew history
could be fun!

I almost don't need
ice cream now.

Really?

No, I'm entertained,
not crazy.

Bowl or cone?

It's okay,
I brought my own.

In the woods,
we didn't have
ice cream,

just snow.

Mom would never
let me try
the lemon flavor.

The play was amazing.

Everything has improved
so much since you've
been Camp Director.

When I grow up,
I wanna be just like Lou.

Aw, you don't mean that.

I wanna be just
like you, too.

Me, too. How do you
get your hair so shiny?

Oh, all right.
You win. You mean it.

Horse shampoo.

To Lou, the queen
of Camp Kikiwaka.

ALL: (CHANTING)
Lou, Lou, Lou, Lou, Lou!

AVA: Lou. Lou.

Lou!

It's no use.
She's dead to the world.

Lou, Lou, Lou, Lou!