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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:05,000 - Synced and corrected by chamallow - - www.addic7ed.com - 2 00:01:39,390 --> 00:01:41,390 Hillston pitch is in 20 minutes. 3 00:01:41,935 --> 00:01:43,685 Both feet in today, okay, Miles? 4 00:02:01,996 --> 00:02:02,996 You're welcome. 5 00:02:09,420 --> 00:02:10,420 Hillston. 6 00:02:11,297 --> 00:02:14,127 I don't have anything. Just... I need a little more time. 7 00:02:18,763 --> 00:02:20,223 I just need a couple of days. 8 00:02:22,100 --> 00:02:23,100 Just to nail it. 9 00:02:24,102 --> 00:02:25,102 Just a... Just... 10 00:02:26,354 --> 00:02:27,404 Just a couple... 11 00:02:27,647 --> 00:02:28,647 Dan. 12 00:02:29,440 --> 00:02:31,440 You've been a pleasant surprise lately. 13 00:02:31,526 --> 00:02:32,776 You need more time, too? 14 00:02:32,861 --> 00:02:33,861 Ooh. 15 00:02:34,028 --> 00:02:35,988 No, ma'am. 16 00:02:36,447 --> 00:02:38,485 Oh. Thanks, Miles. 17 00:02:39,033 --> 00:02:40,293 Be a pal, pass these out. 18 00:02:43,663 --> 00:02:45,963 Pal, take one, pass it down. 19 00:02:46,040 --> 00:02:47,040 There we go. 20 00:02:47,876 --> 00:02:48,956 Hillston... 21 00:02:49,460 --> 00:02:50,840 - wants us to... - Uh... 22 00:02:51,212 --> 00:02:53,422 ... refresh their brand image. 23 00:02:53,506 --> 00:02:56,836 But how about we refresh their... 24 00:02:58,219 --> 00:02:59,599 reality? 25 00:03:04,767 --> 00:03:05,767 Ooh! 26 00:03:20,617 --> 00:03:22,197 Yeah! 27 00:03:22,285 --> 00:03:23,655 It's Dan's party! 28 00:03:23,745 --> 00:03:25,285 Yeah, Jerry. 29 00:03:25,496 --> 00:03:26,496 Hey. 30 00:03:27,957 --> 00:03:29,377 What happened to you, man? 31 00:03:30,251 --> 00:03:31,995 I mean, you used to hide behind interns, 32 00:03:31,996 --> 00:03:33,881 but now you're... you're so you. 33 00:03:34,464 --> 00:03:36,344 I don't know, one day I just decided 34 00:03:36,424 --> 00:03:38,804 to start looking people in the eye and tell 'em, 35 00:03:39,385 --> 00:03:40,385 "Hey, 36 00:03:41,095 --> 00:03:42,595 we're gonna be friends." 37 00:03:42,931 --> 00:03:45,271 And so, now you can just magically sell Pool 38 00:03:45,350 --> 00:03:47,230 on something as ridiculous as those glasses? 39 00:03:47,685 --> 00:03:49,095 Oculi are the balls, dude. 40 00:03:52,148 --> 00:03:55,148 Okay, okay. Hey, hey. You... you really wanna know my secret? 41 00:03:55,944 --> 00:03:57,704 - No. - I went to... 42 00:03:58,238 --> 00:03:59,238 a spa. 43 00:04:00,615 --> 00:04:02,525 Your secret is you paid for a handjob? 44 00:04:02,951 --> 00:04:05,911 No. No, no, no, no. Not that kind, okay? Um... 45 00:04:05,995 --> 00:04:08,205 It was like this cleanse... 46 00:04:08,915 --> 00:04:10,035 full mind, 47 00:04:10,124 --> 00:04:11,544 body, soul. 48 00:04:11,626 --> 00:04:14,206 You have to be recommended by a previous client, 49 00:04:14,295 --> 00:04:15,755 and it's highly exclusive. 50 00:04:16,631 --> 00:04:18,591 Mm. So, how'd you get in? 51 00:04:19,342 --> 00:04:20,342 I know people. 52 00:04:21,511 --> 00:04:23,761 And it is coin, I'm not shitting you. 53 00:04:24,347 --> 00:04:25,557 But ever since then, 54 00:04:26,474 --> 00:04:28,184 I am on fire. 55 00:04:30,478 --> 00:04:31,808 So why are you telling me? 56 00:04:32,272 --> 00:04:35,112 - When one succeeds, we all succeed. - Oh, come... Bullshit. 57 00:04:35,191 --> 00:04:37,281 Okay, look, I get a 10% referral fee. 58 00:04:37,777 --> 00:04:38,777 Plus... 59 00:04:39,487 --> 00:04:40,607 to be honest with you, 60 00:04:41,281 --> 00:04:43,571 I'm not exactly worried about the competition. 61 00:04:57,964 --> 00:04:58,964 Oh. 62 00:05:02,427 --> 00:05:03,427 Ow. 63 00:05:27,702 --> 00:05:29,162 Was that the credenza? 64 00:05:30,455 --> 00:05:31,705 No, it's all right. 65 00:05:37,879 --> 00:05:39,049 I'll be up in a minute. 66 00:06:27,328 --> 00:06:28,340 Hello? 67 00:06:28,346 --> 00:06:31,033 Good morning, Mr. Elliott. This is South Hill Fertility Center 68 00:06:31,057 --> 00:06:33,307 calling to confirm your appointment for today. 69 00:06:34,936 --> 00:06:35,936 All right. 70 00:06:36,270 --> 00:06:38,230 Hi, Hugh. 71 00:06:38,481 --> 00:06:41,111 Let me guess, Mr. Elliott. Another reschedule? 72 00:06:46,072 --> 00:06:47,072 Honey. 73 00:06:47,532 --> 00:06:49,492 We're never gonna be able to make a baby 74 00:06:49,575 --> 00:06:52,285 if you won't keep your first appointment. It's like... 75 00:06:52,412 --> 00:06:53,872 birds and the bees stuff. 76 00:06:54,622 --> 00:06:55,922 It's... 77 00:06:57,834 --> 00:06:59,384 It's so expensive, you know. 78 00:06:59,460 --> 00:07:01,710 Well, then, what else have we been saving for? 79 00:07:02,004 --> 00:07:04,384 I mean... And, you know, your work will pick up. 80 00:07:12,306 --> 00:07:15,136 You know, a sperm analysis is nothing to be ashamed of. 81 00:07:16,936 --> 00:07:18,056 God, could we just... 82 00:07:21,649 --> 00:07:24,279 Let's just talk about it later, all right? I don't... 83 00:07:24,360 --> 00:07:25,860 Let's not ruin a nice morning. 84 00:07:27,196 --> 00:07:30,576 Yeah, I wouldn't want to ruin this nice morning we're having. 85 00:07:32,201 --> 00:07:35,201 Don't know how many more of these nice mornings I can take. 86 00:07:50,761 --> 00:07:51,761 Honey, um... 87 00:07:53,723 --> 00:07:54,723 What? 88 00:07:58,394 --> 00:08:01,064 Where do we keep the light bulbs again? 89 00:08:01,481 --> 00:08:03,611 Uh, I don't know. The laundry room maybe? 90 00:08:06,611 --> 00:08:08,031 Right. 91 00:08:35,223 --> 00:08:36,223 Top Happy. 92 00:08:36,682 --> 00:08:39,602 Uh, yeah. Hi. I'd, uh, like to make an appointment, please? 93 00:08:39,685 --> 00:08:40,975 Fifty thousand dollar. 94 00:08:41,062 --> 00:08:43,982 One-seven-three-zero highway 27, 95 00:08:44,148 --> 00:08:45,728 across from a Curves. 96 00:09:34,365 --> 00:09:35,825 I'm gonna kill Dan. 97 00:09:39,328 --> 00:09:40,538 God, what am I doing? 98 00:09:53,718 --> 00:09:54,718 First time? 99 00:09:56,387 --> 00:09:57,387 Uh-huh. 100 00:09:58,556 --> 00:09:59,556 You? 101 00:10:02,727 --> 00:10:03,727 Six. 102 00:10:56,697 --> 00:10:57,697 Hello? 103 00:11:02,078 --> 00:11:03,078 Hello? 104 00:11:22,390 --> 00:11:24,020 Welcome to Top Happy Spa. 105 00:11:27,687 --> 00:11:29,017 Oh, God. 106 00:11:34,235 --> 00:11:35,235 Cucumber water? 107 00:11:35,486 --> 00:11:37,736 - Was that Tom Brady outside? - Sorry... 108 00:11:37,822 --> 00:11:40,992 client confidentiality is our number-one priority. 109 00:11:41,242 --> 00:11:42,832 You were referred by... ? 110 00:11:44,787 --> 00:11:46,457 Dan Grannam. I work with him. 111 00:11:46,539 --> 00:11:47,539 Ah, yes. 112 00:11:47,623 --> 00:11:49,923 Did he tell you about Top Happy, the process? 113 00:11:50,835 --> 00:11:52,545 No, not really. 114 00:11:56,006 --> 00:11:57,006 Life. 115 00:11:57,883 --> 00:11:58,933 Am I right? 116 00:12:01,095 --> 00:12:02,675 Yeah. What? 117 00:12:02,763 --> 00:12:04,223 The path of life 118 00:12:04,306 --> 00:12:06,476 brings us many troubles: 119 00:12:07,393 --> 00:12:09,103 sadness, fear, 120 00:12:09,520 --> 00:12:10,730 humiliation, 121 00:12:10,813 --> 00:12:11,813 pain, 122 00:12:11,814 --> 00:12:13,444 short telomeres, 123 00:12:13,524 --> 00:12:14,654 bad DNA, 124 00:12:15,109 --> 00:12:17,319 old body, old chemical, 125 00:12:17,653 --> 00:12:18,703 bad life. 126 00:12:19,905 --> 00:12:21,565 Our exclusive process: 127 00:12:22,032 --> 00:12:24,542 rebuild your DNA better than ever. 128 00:12:25,202 --> 00:12:26,202 A better you. 129 00:12:26,871 --> 00:12:28,581 The best you can be. 130 00:12:30,291 --> 00:12:31,291 Okay? 131 00:12:51,353 --> 00:12:52,353 Okay. 132 00:12:53,856 --> 00:12:54,856 That's what I want. 133 00:13:03,491 --> 00:13:04,531 Um, excuse me? 134 00:13:04,617 --> 00:13:06,827 Is there a reason I'm wearing a diaper? 135 00:13:10,414 --> 00:13:11,714 Is this gonna take long? 136 00:13:13,125 --> 00:13:14,705 Just calibrating the equipment. 137 00:13:29,683 --> 00:13:30,683 What are you doing? 138 00:13:32,937 --> 00:13:34,187 Aah. 139 00:13:35,272 --> 00:13:36,732 Aah... Aah! 140 00:13:38,025 --> 00:13:39,025 Aah. 141 00:13:39,860 --> 00:13:40,860 What's that? 142 00:13:48,869 --> 00:13:49,869 What is this? 143 00:13:52,623 --> 00:13:54,293 Make you more comfortable. 144 00:13:56,210 --> 00:13:57,210 I feel like I'm... 145 00:13:58,254 --> 00:14:01,171 - Okay. - Aromatherapy thing, I think? 146 00:14:05,261 --> 00:14:06,261 What? 147 00:14:08,222 --> 00:14:09,222 What is... 148 00:14:17,022 --> 00:14:18,022 What's that? 149 00:14:19,775 --> 00:14:20,775 What? 150 00:14:21,443 --> 00:14:22,903 Everything okay? 151 00:14:23,487 --> 00:14:24,487 Huh? 152 00:14:26,782 --> 00:14:27,912 Is it okay? 153 00:14:39,962 --> 00:14:41,092 A unicorn. 154 00:14:53,851 --> 00:14:54,851 Huh? 155 00:15:49,657 --> 00:15:51,987 What kind of farm doesn't have a clothesline? 156 00:15:55,496 --> 00:15:56,496 Miles? 157 00:15:58,248 --> 00:16:00,418 What are you doing, you dumb shit? 158 00:16:17,351 --> 00:16:19,771 Let's see if this thing worked. 159 00:16:29,738 --> 00:16:30,738 Hi. 160 00:16:30,990 --> 00:16:31,990 I'm Miles. 161 00:16:32,658 --> 00:16:34,028 And we're gonna be friends. 162 00:17:04,940 --> 00:17:07,900 What time do you have to be at work in the morning? 163 00:17:09,028 --> 00:17:10,608 I don't know, the usual. 164 00:17:19,872 --> 00:17:23,082 Do you want any water from the fridge? I need to hydrate. 165 00:17:23,167 --> 00:17:25,667 No, it's okay, I'm just trying to sleep. 166 00:18:00,120 --> 00:18:01,870 Miles, is that the credenza? 167 00:18:05,709 --> 00:18:07,879 Are you okay? Do I need to come down? 168 00:18:08,212 --> 00:18:09,552 No, no, it's fine. 169 00:18:45,499 --> 00:18:46,629 I'm putting this down. 170 00:18:47,376 --> 00:18:48,376 Okay? 171 00:18:48,627 --> 00:18:49,627 It's okay. 172 00:18:50,087 --> 00:18:51,087 It's okay. 173 00:18:54,383 --> 00:18:56,393 - What are you? - I don't want any trouble. 174 00:18:56,927 --> 00:18:58,467 I don't know what's happening. 175 00:18:58,595 --> 00:19:00,965 I would just like you to leave my house, please. 176 00:19:01,056 --> 00:19:02,516 You leave this house. 177 00:19:03,308 --> 00:19:05,228 In fact, what are you even doing here? 178 00:19:05,853 --> 00:19:06,853 I live here. 179 00:19:07,437 --> 00:19:09,769 I live here. I live here! 180 00:19:09,857 --> 00:19:12,067 - Take it easy. Take it easy. - What's happening? 181 00:19:12,568 --> 00:19:13,938 - What's happening? - No. 182 00:19:14,027 --> 00:19:15,397 That's what I'd like to know. 183 00:19:15,487 --> 00:19:16,947 That's what I'd like to know. 184 00:19:17,030 --> 00:19:19,620 - That's what I'd like to know. - The only thing I know 185 00:19:19,700 --> 00:19:21,410 is that I was upstairs with my wife. 186 00:19:21,785 --> 00:19:23,655 Hold on. Your wife? 187 00:19:23,745 --> 00:19:26,615 And now I'm being attacked by someone who looks like me... 188 00:19:28,208 --> 00:19:29,208 in a diaper. 189 00:19:29,668 --> 00:19:30,998 Well, all I know... 190 00:19:33,255 --> 00:19:35,545 is that I went to a spa. 191 00:19:36,258 --> 00:19:37,548 I woke up in a grave... 192 00:19:38,385 --> 00:19:40,095 and then, I walked barefoot 193 00:19:40,429 --> 00:19:41,469 for six hours 194 00:19:42,264 --> 00:19:43,264 to... 195 00:19:43,682 --> 00:19:47,272 find whatever the fuck you are upstairs with my wife. 196 00:19:47,561 --> 00:19:48,731 I woke up in a spa, 197 00:19:49,771 --> 00:19:50,981 but then I went to work, 198 00:19:51,607 --> 00:19:52,607 came home, 199 00:19:53,734 --> 00:19:54,864 and now this. 200 00:19:57,446 --> 00:19:58,486 The spa. 201 00:20:00,699 --> 00:20:01,699 Let's go. 202 00:20:03,035 --> 00:20:05,075 You might want to put on some clothes. 203 00:20:06,246 --> 00:20:07,406 - Yeah. - You can borrow 204 00:20:07,497 --> 00:20:09,077 some of mine in the laundry room. 205 00:20:14,129 --> 00:20:16,419 There are shoes by the front door. 206 00:20:16,506 --> 00:20:17,506 I know. 207 00:20:19,009 --> 00:20:21,259 I'm just gonna leave Kate a note. 208 00:20:33,190 --> 00:20:34,190 Okay. 209 00:20:35,108 --> 00:20:36,568 Okay, tell me this. 210 00:20:38,946 --> 00:20:40,906 Four years old, co-op, pre-K. 211 00:20:41,448 --> 00:20:44,948 I'm drinking lemonade, waiting for my mom to pick me up. What happened? 212 00:20:46,286 --> 00:20:47,576 Huh? Uh-huh. See? 213 00:20:48,997 --> 00:20:50,747 A bee stung me on the eyebrow. 214 00:20:50,832 --> 00:20:52,332 It felt like a hot needle. 215 00:20:58,340 --> 00:20:59,340 Seventh grade. 216 00:20:59,758 --> 00:21:02,338 Lake Valley overnight, seven minutes in heaven. 217 00:21:02,928 --> 00:21:04,848 I couldn't undo the bra strap of... 218 00:21:06,014 --> 00:21:08,354 - Oh, uh... - She told the whole school about it. 219 00:21:08,433 --> 00:21:10,643 I know, I know. I know she did. What, um... 220 00:21:11,144 --> 00:21:12,144 Uh... 221 00:21:14,314 --> 00:21:15,314 Hair color? 222 00:21:15,524 --> 00:21:17,364 - Blonde. - Right. Yeah, yeah. Um... 223 00:21:19,987 --> 00:21:21,407 - First initial. - E. 224 00:21:22,072 --> 00:21:23,282 First initial last name. 225 00:21:24,074 --> 00:21:25,334 E... Oh, God. 226 00:21:25,409 --> 00:21:28,869 - Yeah. See, not so easy, is it? - Okay. No, no, I... I know it. It's um... 227 00:21:29,079 --> 00:21:31,619 - It's, uh, Ellen. - Ellen. Ellen. 228 00:21:31,707 --> 00:21:33,787 - Ellen, uh... Ellen, um... - What? 229 00:21:33,959 --> 00:21:35,539 - Hall something, right? - Halter? 230 00:21:35,627 --> 00:21:36,667 Halter. Halter. 231 00:21:36,753 --> 00:21:38,511 - Halther. - Ellen Halther. 232 00:21:38,588 --> 00:21:39,758 Ellen Halther. 233 00:21:41,133 --> 00:21:43,303 Yeah. Always looked at you like she hated you. 234 00:21:43,385 --> 00:21:46,095 God, I know. She had that uptight preppy thing going on, right? 235 00:21:46,179 --> 00:21:47,389 - Yeah. - Ellen Halther. 236 00:21:47,472 --> 00:21:49,850 - Yes. - When was the last time you... 237 00:21:49,933 --> 00:21:51,483 - thought of... - Yeah. Yeah. 238 00:21:59,609 --> 00:22:00,939 Come on. 239 00:22:06,950 --> 00:22:08,910 If you're that desperate, I'll give you a tug job. 240 00:22:08,952 --> 00:22:09,952 - Fuck off. - Sir... 241 00:22:10,203 --> 00:22:11,203 please. 242 00:22:19,921 --> 00:22:20,921 Uh-oh. 243 00:22:21,131 --> 00:22:22,131 Mr. Elliott. 244 00:22:23,175 --> 00:22:24,175 Mr. Elliott. 245 00:22:25,218 --> 00:22:27,428 This is a new process. 246 00:22:27,512 --> 00:22:28,762 Very difficult. 247 00:22:28,847 --> 00:22:30,387 People are not ready for this. 248 00:22:30,766 --> 00:22:35,016 Reproductive cloning is still illegal in 187 countries. 249 00:22:35,103 --> 00:22:37,193 - Cloning? - Ultrarapid cloning 250 00:22:37,272 --> 00:22:39,272 plus micro-synaptic memory transfer. 251 00:22:39,358 --> 00:22:40,438 Wait a minute. You... 252 00:22:41,026 --> 00:22:42,356 You cloned me? 253 00:22:42,444 --> 00:22:44,744 There you go. You hit the nail right on the head. 254 00:22:45,113 --> 00:22:47,425 Well, what were you planning on doing with the original me? 255 00:22:47,449 --> 00:22:50,447 - The me-me. - In a better society, 256 00:22:50,535 --> 00:22:52,445 we wouldn't have to do it this way. 257 00:22:53,163 --> 00:22:56,791 - What way? - Ideally we grind then dissolve in acid solution, 258 00:22:56,875 --> 00:22:58,495 but we had maintenance problems. 259 00:22:58,585 --> 00:23:01,915 The difficulties of getting parts from Korea, you wouldn't believe. 260 00:23:02,297 --> 00:23:05,717 So, for now, we bury the de-activees in the state forest. 261 00:23:05,801 --> 00:23:07,931 Upside, no entry fees. 262 00:23:08,011 --> 00:23:09,571 - Pretty good deal. - I'm sorry. 263 00:23:10,055 --> 00:23:12,682 - You... tried to murder me. - Please. 264 00:23:12,766 --> 00:23:14,806 We are very upset about this. 265 00:23:15,060 --> 00:23:17,440 You are the first to survive the deactivation. 266 00:23:17,729 --> 00:23:20,227 Bad gas. 267 00:23:21,483 --> 00:23:23,323 Hold up. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! 268 00:23:23,402 --> 00:23:25,282 You... You were just gonna kill me? 269 00:23:26,905 --> 00:23:29,445 No. We'd harvest your organ first. 270 00:23:31,284 --> 00:23:32,954 Kidding. 271 00:23:33,036 --> 00:23:34,576 Better check your liver, right? 272 00:23:34,663 --> 00:23:36,580 So true. 273 00:23:36,832 --> 00:23:38,462 Laughter is the spice of life. 274 00:23:38,959 --> 00:23:40,539 So, you are kidding? 275 00:23:40,627 --> 00:23:41,877 Harvesting organ, yes. 276 00:23:41,962 --> 00:23:43,462 Cloning, murder, no. 277 00:23:45,048 --> 00:23:47,378 We offer our sincere apologies. 278 00:23:47,467 --> 00:23:48,695 Well, I'm sorry, but you know what? 279 00:23:48,696 --> 00:23:51,047 Somehow that seems a little insufficient. 280 00:23:51,138 --> 00:23:52,218 I mean, at the minimum... 281 00:23:52,305 --> 00:23:53,715 the minimum, 282 00:23:53,807 --> 00:23:55,637 I should get a refund. 283 00:23:55,725 --> 00:23:57,845 - Sorry, no refunds. Corporate policy. - Hey! 284 00:23:58,186 --> 00:24:01,896 Are you gonna add anything to this, huh? Are you just gonna sit there? 285 00:24:03,108 --> 00:24:06,318 This isn't real, right? I mean, this is some kind of trick. 286 00:24:07,112 --> 00:24:08,112 No. 287 00:24:08,780 --> 00:24:10,120 So, who's the clone? 288 00:24:13,285 --> 00:24:14,285 You. 289 00:24:16,163 --> 00:24:18,543 All right, little detail you might have noticed. 290 00:24:18,623 --> 00:24:22,923 There's two of us, but there is one home, there's one car, one life. 291 00:24:23,003 --> 00:24:24,553 So, what do you suggest we do? 292 00:24:33,430 --> 00:24:34,850 Okay, here's what we can do. 293 00:24:35,140 --> 00:24:36,390 Ten percent discount. 294 00:24:37,476 --> 00:24:40,403 - That's it? - No, there's more. 295 00:24:41,146 --> 00:24:43,475 Twenty percent, if you refer new customer. 296 00:24:56,912 --> 00:25:01,912 - Synced and corrected by chamallow - - www.addic7ed.com - 19545

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