Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:05,000
- Synced and corrected by chamallow -
- www.addic7ed.com -
2
00:01:39,390 --> 00:01:41,390
Hillston pitch is in 20 minutes.
3
00:01:41,935 --> 00:01:43,685
Both feet in today, okay, Miles?
4
00:02:01,996 --> 00:02:02,996
You're welcome.
5
00:02:09,420 --> 00:02:10,420
Hillston.
6
00:02:11,297 --> 00:02:14,127
I don't have anything. Just...
I need a little more time.
7
00:02:18,763 --> 00:02:20,223
I just need a couple of days.
8
00:02:22,100 --> 00:02:23,100
Just to nail it.
9
00:02:24,102 --> 00:02:25,102
Just a... Just...
10
00:02:26,354 --> 00:02:27,404
Just a couple...
11
00:02:27,647 --> 00:02:28,647
Dan.
12
00:02:29,440 --> 00:02:31,440
You've been a pleasant surprise lately.
13
00:02:31,526 --> 00:02:32,776
You need more time, too?
14
00:02:32,861 --> 00:02:33,861
Ooh.
15
00:02:34,028 --> 00:02:35,988
No, ma'am.
16
00:02:36,447 --> 00:02:38,485
Oh. Thanks, Miles.
17
00:02:39,033 --> 00:02:40,293
Be a pal, pass these out.
18
00:02:43,663 --> 00:02:45,963
Pal, take one, pass it down.
19
00:02:46,040 --> 00:02:47,040
There we go.
20
00:02:47,876 --> 00:02:48,956
Hillston...
21
00:02:49,460 --> 00:02:50,840
- wants us to...
- Uh...
22
00:02:51,212 --> 00:02:53,422
... refresh their brand image.
23
00:02:53,506 --> 00:02:56,836
But how about we refresh their...
24
00:02:58,219 --> 00:02:59,599
reality?
25
00:03:04,767 --> 00:03:05,767
Ooh!
26
00:03:20,617 --> 00:03:22,197
Yeah!
27
00:03:22,285 --> 00:03:23,655
It's Dan's party!
28
00:03:23,745 --> 00:03:25,285
Yeah, Jerry.
29
00:03:25,496 --> 00:03:26,496
Hey.
30
00:03:27,957 --> 00:03:29,377
What happened to you, man?
31
00:03:30,251 --> 00:03:31,995
I mean, you used to hide behind interns,
32
00:03:31,996 --> 00:03:33,881
but now you're... you're so you.
33
00:03:34,464 --> 00:03:36,344
I don't know, one day I just decided
34
00:03:36,424 --> 00:03:38,804
to start looking people
in the eye and tell 'em,
35
00:03:39,385 --> 00:03:40,385
"Hey,
36
00:03:41,095 --> 00:03:42,595
we're gonna be friends."
37
00:03:42,931 --> 00:03:45,271
And so, now you can
just magically sell Pool
38
00:03:45,350 --> 00:03:47,230
on something as ridiculous
as those glasses?
39
00:03:47,685 --> 00:03:49,095
Oculi are the balls, dude.
40
00:03:52,148 --> 00:03:55,148
Okay, okay. Hey, hey. You...
you really wanna know my secret?
41
00:03:55,944 --> 00:03:57,704
- No.
- I went to...
42
00:03:58,238 --> 00:03:59,238
a spa.
43
00:04:00,615 --> 00:04:02,525
Your secret is you paid for a handjob?
44
00:04:02,951 --> 00:04:05,911
No. No, no, no, no. Not
that kind, okay? Um...
45
00:04:05,995 --> 00:04:08,205
It was like this cleanse...
46
00:04:08,915 --> 00:04:10,035
full mind,
47
00:04:10,124 --> 00:04:11,544
body, soul.
48
00:04:11,626 --> 00:04:14,206
You have to be recommended
by a previous client,
49
00:04:14,295 --> 00:04:15,755
and it's highly exclusive.
50
00:04:16,631 --> 00:04:18,591
Mm. So, how'd you get in?
51
00:04:19,342 --> 00:04:20,342
I know people.
52
00:04:21,511 --> 00:04:23,761
And it is coin, I'm not shitting you.
53
00:04:24,347 --> 00:04:25,557
But ever since then,
54
00:04:26,474 --> 00:04:28,184
I am on fire.
55
00:04:30,478 --> 00:04:31,808
So why are you telling me?
56
00:04:32,272 --> 00:04:35,112
- When one succeeds, we all succeed.
- Oh, come... Bullshit.
57
00:04:35,191 --> 00:04:37,281
Okay, look, I get a 10% referral fee.
58
00:04:37,777 --> 00:04:38,777
Plus...
59
00:04:39,487 --> 00:04:40,607
to be honest with you,
60
00:04:41,281 --> 00:04:43,571
I'm not exactly worried
about the competition.
61
00:04:57,964 --> 00:04:58,964
Oh.
62
00:05:02,427 --> 00:05:03,427
Ow.
63
00:05:27,702 --> 00:05:29,162
Was that the credenza?
64
00:05:30,455 --> 00:05:31,705
No, it's all right.
65
00:05:37,879 --> 00:05:39,049
I'll be up in a minute.
66
00:06:27,328 --> 00:06:28,340
Hello?
67
00:06:28,346 --> 00:06:31,033
Good morning, Mr. Elliott. This
is South Hill Fertility Center
68
00:06:31,057 --> 00:06:33,307
calling to confirm your
appointment for today.
69
00:06:34,936 --> 00:06:35,936
All right.
70
00:06:36,270 --> 00:06:38,230
Hi, Hugh.
71
00:06:38,481 --> 00:06:41,111
Let me guess, Mr. Elliott.
Another reschedule?
72
00:06:46,072 --> 00:06:47,072
Honey.
73
00:06:47,532 --> 00:06:49,492
We're never gonna be able to make a baby
74
00:06:49,575 --> 00:06:52,285
if you won't keep your first
appointment. It's like...
75
00:06:52,412 --> 00:06:53,872
birds and the bees stuff.
76
00:06:54,622 --> 00:06:55,922
It's...
77
00:06:57,834 --> 00:06:59,384
It's so expensive, you know.
78
00:06:59,460 --> 00:07:01,710
Well, then, what else
have we been saving for?
79
00:07:02,004 --> 00:07:04,384
I mean... And, you know,
your work will pick up.
80
00:07:12,306 --> 00:07:15,136
You know, a sperm analysis
is nothing to be ashamed of.
81
00:07:16,936 --> 00:07:18,056
God, could we just...
82
00:07:21,649 --> 00:07:24,279
Let's just talk about it
later, all right? I don't...
83
00:07:24,360 --> 00:07:25,860
Let's not ruin a nice morning.
84
00:07:27,196 --> 00:07:30,576
Yeah, I wouldn't want to ruin
this nice morning we're having.
85
00:07:32,201 --> 00:07:35,201
Don't know how many more of
these nice mornings I can take.
86
00:07:50,761 --> 00:07:51,761
Honey, um...
87
00:07:53,723 --> 00:07:54,723
What?
88
00:07:58,394 --> 00:08:01,064
Where do we keep the light bulbs again?
89
00:08:01,481 --> 00:08:03,611
Uh, I don't know. The
laundry room maybe?
90
00:08:06,611 --> 00:08:08,031
Right.
91
00:08:35,223 --> 00:08:36,223
Top Happy.
92
00:08:36,682 --> 00:08:39,602
Uh, yeah. Hi. I'd, uh, like
to make an appointment, please?
93
00:08:39,685 --> 00:08:40,975
Fifty thousand dollar.
94
00:08:41,062 --> 00:08:43,982
One-seven-three-zero highway 27,
95
00:08:44,148 --> 00:08:45,728
across from a Curves.
96
00:09:34,365 --> 00:09:35,825
I'm gonna kill Dan.
97
00:09:39,328 --> 00:09:40,538
God, what am I doing?
98
00:09:53,718 --> 00:09:54,718
First time?
99
00:09:56,387 --> 00:09:57,387
Uh-huh.
100
00:09:58,556 --> 00:09:59,556
You?
101
00:10:02,727 --> 00:10:03,727
Six.
102
00:10:56,697 --> 00:10:57,697
Hello?
103
00:11:02,078 --> 00:11:03,078
Hello?
104
00:11:22,390 --> 00:11:24,020
Welcome to Top Happy Spa.
105
00:11:27,687 --> 00:11:29,017
Oh, God.
106
00:11:34,235 --> 00:11:35,235
Cucumber water?
107
00:11:35,486 --> 00:11:37,736
- Was that Tom Brady outside?
- Sorry...
108
00:11:37,822 --> 00:11:40,992
client confidentiality is
our number-one priority.
109
00:11:41,242 --> 00:11:42,832
You were referred by... ?
110
00:11:44,787 --> 00:11:46,457
Dan Grannam. I work with him.
111
00:11:46,539 --> 00:11:47,539
Ah, yes.
112
00:11:47,623 --> 00:11:49,923
Did he tell you about
Top Happy, the process?
113
00:11:50,835 --> 00:11:52,545
No, not really.
114
00:11:56,006 --> 00:11:57,006
Life.
115
00:11:57,883 --> 00:11:58,933
Am I right?
116
00:12:01,095 --> 00:12:02,675
Yeah. What?
117
00:12:02,763 --> 00:12:04,223
The path of life
118
00:12:04,306 --> 00:12:06,476
brings us many troubles:
119
00:12:07,393 --> 00:12:09,103
sadness, fear,
120
00:12:09,520 --> 00:12:10,730
humiliation,
121
00:12:10,813 --> 00:12:11,813
pain,
122
00:12:11,814 --> 00:12:13,444
short telomeres,
123
00:12:13,524 --> 00:12:14,654
bad DNA,
124
00:12:15,109 --> 00:12:17,319
old body, old chemical,
125
00:12:17,653 --> 00:12:18,703
bad life.
126
00:12:19,905 --> 00:12:21,565
Our exclusive process:
127
00:12:22,032 --> 00:12:24,542
rebuild your DNA better than ever.
128
00:12:25,202 --> 00:12:26,202
A better you.
129
00:12:26,871 --> 00:12:28,581
The best you can be.
130
00:12:30,291 --> 00:12:31,291
Okay?
131
00:12:51,353 --> 00:12:52,353
Okay.
132
00:12:53,856 --> 00:12:54,856
That's what I want.
133
00:13:03,491 --> 00:13:04,531
Um, excuse me?
134
00:13:04,617 --> 00:13:06,827
Is there a reason I'm wearing a diaper?
135
00:13:10,414 --> 00:13:11,714
Is this gonna take long?
136
00:13:13,125 --> 00:13:14,705
Just calibrating the equipment.
137
00:13:29,683 --> 00:13:30,683
What are you doing?
138
00:13:32,937 --> 00:13:34,187
Aah.
139
00:13:35,272 --> 00:13:36,732
Aah... Aah!
140
00:13:38,025 --> 00:13:39,025
Aah.
141
00:13:39,860 --> 00:13:40,860
What's that?
142
00:13:48,869 --> 00:13:49,869
What is this?
143
00:13:52,623 --> 00:13:54,293
Make you more comfortable.
144
00:13:56,210 --> 00:13:57,210
I feel like I'm...
145
00:13:58,254 --> 00:14:01,171
- Okay.
- Aromatherapy thing, I think?
146
00:14:05,261 --> 00:14:06,261
What?
147
00:14:08,222 --> 00:14:09,222
What is...
148
00:14:17,022 --> 00:14:18,022
What's that?
149
00:14:19,775 --> 00:14:20,775
What?
150
00:14:21,443 --> 00:14:22,903
Everything okay?
151
00:14:23,487 --> 00:14:24,487
Huh?
152
00:14:26,782 --> 00:14:27,912
Is it okay?
153
00:14:39,962 --> 00:14:41,092
A unicorn.
154
00:14:53,851 --> 00:14:54,851
Huh?
155
00:15:49,657 --> 00:15:51,987
What kind of farm doesn't
have a clothesline?
156
00:15:55,496 --> 00:15:56,496
Miles?
157
00:15:58,248 --> 00:16:00,418
What are you doing, you dumb shit?
158
00:16:17,351 --> 00:16:19,771
Let's see if this thing worked.
159
00:16:29,738 --> 00:16:30,738
Hi.
160
00:16:30,990 --> 00:16:31,990
I'm Miles.
161
00:16:32,658 --> 00:16:34,028
And we're gonna be friends.
162
00:17:04,940 --> 00:17:07,900
What time do you have to
be at work in the morning?
163
00:17:09,028 --> 00:17:10,608
I don't know, the usual.
164
00:17:19,872 --> 00:17:23,082
Do you want any water from
the fridge? I need to hydrate.
165
00:17:23,167 --> 00:17:25,667
No, it's okay, I'm just trying to sleep.
166
00:18:00,120 --> 00:18:01,870
Miles, is that the credenza?
167
00:18:05,709 --> 00:18:07,879
Are you okay? Do I need to come down?
168
00:18:08,212 --> 00:18:09,552
No, no, it's fine.
169
00:18:45,499 --> 00:18:46,629
I'm putting this down.
170
00:18:47,376 --> 00:18:48,376
Okay?
171
00:18:48,627 --> 00:18:49,627
It's okay.
172
00:18:50,087 --> 00:18:51,087
It's okay.
173
00:18:54,383 --> 00:18:56,393
- What are you?
- I don't want any trouble.
174
00:18:56,927 --> 00:18:58,467
I don't know what's happening.
175
00:18:58,595 --> 00:19:00,965
I would just like you to
leave my house, please.
176
00:19:01,056 --> 00:19:02,516
You leave this house.
177
00:19:03,308 --> 00:19:05,228
In fact, what are you even doing here?
178
00:19:05,853 --> 00:19:06,853
I live here.
179
00:19:07,437 --> 00:19:09,769
I live here. I live here!
180
00:19:09,857 --> 00:19:12,067
- Take it easy. Take it easy.
- What's happening?
181
00:19:12,568 --> 00:19:13,938
- What's happening?
- No.
182
00:19:14,027 --> 00:19:15,397
That's what I'd like to know.
183
00:19:15,487 --> 00:19:16,947
That's what I'd like to know.
184
00:19:17,030 --> 00:19:19,620
- That's what I'd like to know.
- The only thing I know
185
00:19:19,700 --> 00:19:21,410
is that I was upstairs with my wife.
186
00:19:21,785 --> 00:19:23,655
Hold on. Your wife?
187
00:19:23,745 --> 00:19:26,615
And now I'm being attacked by
someone who looks like me...
188
00:19:28,208 --> 00:19:29,208
in a diaper.
189
00:19:29,668 --> 00:19:30,998
Well, all I know...
190
00:19:33,255 --> 00:19:35,545
is that I went to a spa.
191
00:19:36,258 --> 00:19:37,548
I woke up in a grave...
192
00:19:38,385 --> 00:19:40,095
and then, I walked barefoot
193
00:19:40,429 --> 00:19:41,469
for six hours
194
00:19:42,264 --> 00:19:43,264
to...
195
00:19:43,682 --> 00:19:47,272
find whatever the fuck you
are upstairs with my wife.
196
00:19:47,561 --> 00:19:48,731
I woke up in a spa,
197
00:19:49,771 --> 00:19:50,981
but then I went to work,
198
00:19:51,607 --> 00:19:52,607
came home,
199
00:19:53,734 --> 00:19:54,864
and now this.
200
00:19:57,446 --> 00:19:58,486
The spa.
201
00:20:00,699 --> 00:20:01,699
Let's go.
202
00:20:03,035 --> 00:20:05,075
You might want to put on some clothes.
203
00:20:06,246 --> 00:20:07,406
- Yeah.
- You can borrow
204
00:20:07,497 --> 00:20:09,077
some of mine in the laundry room.
205
00:20:14,129 --> 00:20:16,419
There are shoes by the front door.
206
00:20:16,506 --> 00:20:17,506
I know.
207
00:20:19,009 --> 00:20:21,259
I'm just gonna leave Kate a note.
208
00:20:33,190 --> 00:20:34,190
Okay.
209
00:20:35,108 --> 00:20:36,568
Okay, tell me this.
210
00:20:38,946 --> 00:20:40,906
Four years old, co-op, pre-K.
211
00:20:41,448 --> 00:20:44,948
I'm drinking lemonade, waiting for
my mom to pick me up. What happened?
212
00:20:46,286 --> 00:20:47,576
Huh? Uh-huh. See?
213
00:20:48,997 --> 00:20:50,747
A bee stung me on the eyebrow.
214
00:20:50,832 --> 00:20:52,332
It felt like a hot needle.
215
00:20:58,340 --> 00:20:59,340
Seventh grade.
216
00:20:59,758 --> 00:21:02,338
Lake Valley overnight,
seven minutes in heaven.
217
00:21:02,928 --> 00:21:04,848
I couldn't undo the bra strap of...
218
00:21:06,014 --> 00:21:08,354
- Oh, uh...
- She told the whole school about it.
219
00:21:08,433 --> 00:21:10,643
I know, I know. I know
she did. What, um...
220
00:21:11,144 --> 00:21:12,144
Uh...
221
00:21:14,314 --> 00:21:15,314
Hair color?
222
00:21:15,524 --> 00:21:17,364
- Blonde.
- Right. Yeah, yeah. Um...
223
00:21:19,987 --> 00:21:21,407
- First initial.
- E.
224
00:21:22,072 --> 00:21:23,282
First initial last name.
225
00:21:24,074 --> 00:21:25,334
E... Oh, God.
226
00:21:25,409 --> 00:21:28,869
- Yeah. See, not so easy, is it?
- Okay. No, no, I... I know it. It's um...
227
00:21:29,079 --> 00:21:31,619
- It's, uh, Ellen.
- Ellen. Ellen.
228
00:21:31,707 --> 00:21:33,787
- Ellen, uh... Ellen, um...
- What?
229
00:21:33,959 --> 00:21:35,539
- Hall something, right?
- Halter?
230
00:21:35,627 --> 00:21:36,667
Halter. Halter.
231
00:21:36,753 --> 00:21:38,511
- Halther.
- Ellen Halther.
232
00:21:38,588 --> 00:21:39,758
Ellen Halther.
233
00:21:41,133 --> 00:21:43,303
Yeah. Always looked at
you like she hated you.
234
00:21:43,385 --> 00:21:46,095
God, I know. She had that uptight
preppy thing going on, right?
235
00:21:46,179 --> 00:21:47,389
- Yeah.
- Ellen Halther.
236
00:21:47,472 --> 00:21:49,850
- Yes.
- When was the last time you...
237
00:21:49,933 --> 00:21:51,483
- thought of...
- Yeah. Yeah.
238
00:21:59,609 --> 00:22:00,939
Come on.
239
00:22:06,950 --> 00:22:08,910
If you're that desperate,
I'll give you a tug job.
240
00:22:08,952 --> 00:22:09,952
- Fuck off.
- Sir...
241
00:22:10,203 --> 00:22:11,203
please.
242
00:22:19,921 --> 00:22:20,921
Uh-oh.
243
00:22:21,131 --> 00:22:22,131
Mr. Elliott.
244
00:22:23,175 --> 00:22:24,175
Mr. Elliott.
245
00:22:25,218 --> 00:22:27,428
This is a new process.
246
00:22:27,512 --> 00:22:28,762
Very difficult.
247
00:22:28,847 --> 00:22:30,387
People are not ready for this.
248
00:22:30,766 --> 00:22:35,016
Reproductive cloning is still
illegal in 187 countries.
249
00:22:35,103 --> 00:22:37,193
- Cloning?
- Ultrarapid cloning
250
00:22:37,272 --> 00:22:39,272
plus micro-synaptic memory transfer.
251
00:22:39,358 --> 00:22:40,438
Wait a minute. You...
252
00:22:41,026 --> 00:22:42,356
You cloned me?
253
00:22:42,444 --> 00:22:44,744
There you go. You hit the
nail right on the head.
254
00:22:45,113 --> 00:22:47,425
Well, what were you planning
on doing with the original me?
255
00:22:47,449 --> 00:22:50,447
- The me-me.
- In a better society,
256
00:22:50,535 --> 00:22:52,445
we wouldn't have to do it this way.
257
00:22:53,163 --> 00:22:56,791
- What way?
- Ideally we grind then dissolve in acid solution,
258
00:22:56,875 --> 00:22:58,495
but we had maintenance problems.
259
00:22:58,585 --> 00:23:01,915
The difficulties of getting parts
from Korea, you wouldn't believe.
260
00:23:02,297 --> 00:23:05,717
So, for now, we bury the
de-activees in the state forest.
261
00:23:05,801 --> 00:23:07,931
Upside, no entry fees.
262
00:23:08,011 --> 00:23:09,571
- Pretty good deal.
- I'm sorry.
263
00:23:10,055 --> 00:23:12,682
- You... tried to murder me.
- Please.
264
00:23:12,766 --> 00:23:14,806
We are very upset about this.
265
00:23:15,060 --> 00:23:17,440
You are the first to
survive the deactivation.
266
00:23:17,729 --> 00:23:20,227
Bad gas.
267
00:23:21,483 --> 00:23:23,323
Hold up. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!
268
00:23:23,402 --> 00:23:25,282
You... You were just gonna kill me?
269
00:23:26,905 --> 00:23:29,445
No. We'd harvest your organ first.
270
00:23:31,284 --> 00:23:32,954
Kidding.
271
00:23:33,036 --> 00:23:34,576
Better check your liver, right?
272
00:23:34,663 --> 00:23:36,580
So true.
273
00:23:36,832 --> 00:23:38,462
Laughter is the spice of life.
274
00:23:38,959 --> 00:23:40,539
So, you are kidding?
275
00:23:40,627 --> 00:23:41,877
Harvesting organ, yes.
276
00:23:41,962 --> 00:23:43,462
Cloning, murder, no.
277
00:23:45,048 --> 00:23:47,378
We offer our sincere apologies.
278
00:23:47,467 --> 00:23:48,695
Well, I'm sorry, but you know what?
279
00:23:48,696 --> 00:23:51,047
Somehow that seems a
little insufficient.
280
00:23:51,138 --> 00:23:52,218
I mean, at the minimum...
281
00:23:52,305 --> 00:23:53,715
the minimum,
282
00:23:53,807 --> 00:23:55,637
I should get a refund.
283
00:23:55,725 --> 00:23:57,845
- Sorry, no refunds. Corporate policy.
- Hey!
284
00:23:58,186 --> 00:24:01,896
Are you gonna add anything to this,
huh? Are you just gonna sit there?
285
00:24:03,108 --> 00:24:06,318
This isn't real, right? I mean,
this is some kind of trick.
286
00:24:07,112 --> 00:24:08,112
No.
287
00:24:08,780 --> 00:24:10,120
So, who's the clone?
288
00:24:13,285 --> 00:24:14,285
You.
289
00:24:16,163 --> 00:24:18,543
All right, little detail
you might have noticed.
290
00:24:18,623 --> 00:24:22,923
There's two of us, but there is
one home, there's one car, one life.
291
00:24:23,003 --> 00:24:24,553
So, what do you suggest we do?
292
00:24:33,430 --> 00:24:34,850
Okay, here's what we can do.
293
00:24:35,140 --> 00:24:36,390
Ten percent discount.
294
00:24:37,476 --> 00:24:40,403
- That's it?
- No, there's more.
295
00:24:41,146 --> 00:24:43,475
Twenty percent, if
you refer new customer.
296
00:24:56,912 --> 00:25:01,912
- Synced and corrected by chamallow -
- www.addic7ed.com -
19545
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.