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www.titlovi.com
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♪ Yellow wings floating,
floating in the wind ♪
3
00:00:20,488 --> 00:00:25,524
♪ Flickering and glowing,
glowing like a flame
against the sun ♪
4
00:00:28,128 --> 00:00:29,762
♪ Burning bright as anyone
5
00:00:33,633 --> 00:00:39,538
♪ It's the first day of spring
and the last day of your life ♪
6
00:00:43,410 --> 00:00:48,280
♪ Spider webs dancing,
dancing in the wind ♪
7
00:00:48,282 --> 00:00:53,285
♪ Silver and silken,
silken like the hair
upon your head ♪
8
00:00:55,588 --> 00:00:57,723
♪ Lying in your last bed
9
00:01:01,361 --> 00:01:07,232
♪ It's the first day of spring
and the last day of your life ♪
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00:01:38,364 --> 00:01:42,668
♪ Mockingbirds perching,
perching on a limb ♪
11
00:01:42,670 --> 00:01:46,805
♪ Singing up to heaven
for her to let you in ♪
12
00:01:46,807 --> 00:01:48,373
♪ We've got to know
13
00:01:50,410 --> 00:01:52,678
♪ That it's time to let you go
14
00:01:56,116 --> 00:02:01,820
♪ It's the first day of spring
and the last day of your life ♪
15
00:02:05,859 --> 00:02:10,562
♪ Hot water rising,
rising in the pan ♪
16
00:02:10,564 --> 00:02:15,834
♪ Soak through the corn
and make a pudding sweet
for one last time ♪
17
00:02:18,204 --> 00:02:20,839
♪ What you like
is what I'll find ♪
18
00:02:23,877 --> 00:02:30,149
♪ It's the first day of spring
and the last day of your life ♪
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00:02:33,186 --> 00:02:36,889
♪ It's the first day of spring
20
00:02:41,327 --> 00:02:43,929
♪ And the last day
of your life ♪
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00:02:53,673 --> 00:02:56,775
[reporter]
This is Clara Forester
for ABC4 News.
22
00:02:56,777 --> 00:02:58,610
And we're now mere moments away
23
00:02:58,612 --> 00:03:01,580
from the historic
worldwide release
of "Crashing Tide,"
24
00:03:01,582 --> 00:03:05,884
the third installment
of the wildly popular Siren saga
from Sally Carmichael.
25
00:03:05,886 --> 00:03:09,788
Today, the young-adult
series that chronicles
an epic love story
26
00:03:09,790 --> 00:03:11,723
between a young woman
and a merman
27
00:03:11,725 --> 00:03:14,960
has sold over
90 million copies worldwide,
28
00:03:14,962 --> 00:03:18,263
and this installment is
expected to put that number
29
00:03:18,265 --> 00:03:20,799
well over 100
in a matter of days.
30
00:03:20,801 --> 00:03:24,303
Once again, the response
from critics has been brutal.
31
00:03:24,305 --> 00:03:28,407
The New York Times
said Crashing Tide
was, at best, juvenile,
32
00:03:28,409 --> 00:03:30,742
at worst, the very worst.
33
00:03:30,744 --> 00:03:34,880
Meanwhile, Sally Carmichael,
the series' notoriously
private author,
34
00:03:34,882 --> 00:03:37,516
hasn't responded
to any criticism,
35
00:03:37,518 --> 00:03:40,852
as her identity remains
clouded in mystery.
36
00:03:40,854 --> 00:03:45,324
Rumored to be
a Mormon wife and mother
living right here in Utah,
37
00:03:45,326 --> 00:03:48,827
the elusive writer has never
granted a single interview
38
00:03:48,829 --> 00:03:51,530
or made any kind of
public appearance.
39
00:03:51,532 --> 00:03:54,399
-[woman] Andie, hurry.
-[girl] Sorry, Mom.
40
00:03:54,401 --> 00:03:56,668
Well, with the release
of this new novel
41
00:03:56,670 --> 00:03:59,438
and the Siren movie
adaptation in the works,
42
00:03:59,440 --> 00:04:03,542
there appears to be no end
to Sally Carmichael in sight.
43
00:04:03,544 --> 00:04:07,446
[all] We love you,
Sally Carmichael!
44
00:04:07,448 --> 00:04:09,281
[all cheering]
45
00:04:10,817 --> 00:04:12,684
We need to kill
Sally Carmichael.
46
00:04:12,686 --> 00:04:14,586
[woman] Have you seen
the first day's numbers? Hmm?
47
00:04:14,588 --> 00:04:17,556
2.5 million units in one day?
48
00:04:17,558 --> 00:04:19,024
You don't kill an author
with those numbers.
49
00:04:19,026 --> 00:04:21,526
Okay. But think of the
publicity if we kill her.
50
00:04:21,528 --> 00:04:22,761
How many books
would that sell? Huh?
51
00:04:22,763 --> 00:04:24,796
You know, that's
actually interesting.
52
00:04:24,798 --> 00:04:28,967
So we kill her
after the seventh book
once your contract is up.
53
00:04:28,969 --> 00:04:32,037
No. I cannot write
four more Merman books.
54
00:04:32,039 --> 00:04:33,505
-I cannot.
-Okay.
55
00:04:33,507 --> 00:04:35,374
-I do not have it in me.
-Okay. Well, I'm sorry.
56
00:04:35,376 --> 00:04:37,609
But a contract is a contract.
There's nothing
we can do about it.
57
00:04:37,611 --> 00:04:39,778
You're my publishers.
It is your contract.
58
00:04:39,780 --> 00:04:41,313
You can do whatever
you want with it.
59
00:04:42,682 --> 00:04:44,016
Just an expression.
60
00:04:44,018 --> 00:04:45,984
I'm sorry. I don't understand.
61
00:04:45,986 --> 00:04:49,321
I thought the whole idea
of inventing Sally Carmichael
62
00:04:49,323 --> 00:04:51,657
was so that you could write
whatever you want
under your name.
63
00:04:51,659 --> 00:04:54,459
Yes. But I've been writing
as Sally for so long,
64
00:04:54,461 --> 00:04:57,629
I'm having a really hard time
writing anything else.
65
00:04:57,631 --> 00:05:01,633
Please, please kill Sally
66
00:05:01,635 --> 00:05:05,003
before she sucks away
what is left of my soul.
67
00:05:05,005 --> 00:05:09,007
See, that right there,
that flair for the dramatic,
it works.
68
00:05:09,009 --> 00:05:12,644
Look, we didn't come here
to talk about killing
Sally Carmichael, okay?
69
00:05:12,646 --> 00:05:14,613
Look at me. We came...
70
00:05:15,648 --> 00:05:19,484
to talk about
Perry Quinn, ah!
71
00:05:19,486 --> 00:05:20,986
I-I don't understand.
What about Perry Quinn?
72
00:05:20,988 --> 00:05:22,521
[giggles]
73
00:05:22,523 --> 00:05:24,589
He's interested in the movie.
74
00:05:27,627 --> 00:05:29,995
Perry Quinn is interested
in being the Merman?
75
00:05:29,997 --> 00:05:32,731
-[woman] I know.
-He's at least
ten years too old.
76
00:05:32,733 --> 00:05:34,466
-That's ridiculous.
-It's Hollywood.
77
00:05:34,468 --> 00:05:36,368
Oh. Oh, that's ridiculous?
78
00:05:36,370 --> 00:05:39,571
How about a little movie
based on the Six Flags ride
about the Cavemen?
79
00:05:39,573 --> 00:05:42,607
Uh-huh. And how about
three sequels and $3 billion!
80
00:05:42,609 --> 00:05:44,076
How's that for
ridiculous? Huh?
81
00:05:44,078 --> 00:05:45,944
-Yeah. Yeah.
That's ridiculous.
-[laughing]
82
00:05:45,946 --> 00:05:47,446
Think before you speak.
83
00:05:48,648 --> 00:05:50,949
Just one thing.
Perry wants to meet Sally.
84
00:05:52,752 --> 00:05:54,086
There is no Sally.
85
00:05:54,088 --> 00:05:56,488
He knows that,
and he's excited
86
00:05:56,490 --> 00:06:00,826
to meet the visionary who
created this entire phenomenon.
87
00:06:00,828 --> 00:06:04,096
No. No way.
88
00:06:04,098 --> 00:06:07,899
-[sighs]
-Okay. Well, of course
we can't force you to do it.
89
00:06:07,901 --> 00:06:09,868
But we can sue you
if you don't.
90
00:06:09,870 --> 00:06:11,837
That's right. We can sue.
91
00:06:11,839 --> 00:06:13,805
What are you talking about?
You can't sue me.
92
00:06:13,807 --> 00:06:15,107
That's not part
of my contract,
93
00:06:15,109 --> 00:06:16,675
and you can't tell anyone
who I am.
94
00:06:16,677 --> 00:06:17,909
Well, we're not going to.
95
00:06:17,911 --> 00:06:20,412
Perry is willing to sign
a non-disclosure.
96
00:06:20,414 --> 00:06:24,015
Randall from Legal
has been going over
your agreement. Randall?
97
00:06:24,017 --> 00:06:26,585
[Randall] Your contract states
that we have to protect
your anonymity,
98
00:06:26,587 --> 00:06:29,721
but you're responsible
for the actions on your part
that can harm--
99
00:06:29,723 --> 00:06:31,890
-Has he been here
this whole time?
-Shh.
100
00:06:31,892 --> 00:06:35,060
Considering Quinn's willingness
to sign a non-disclosure,
it's a reasonable request.
101
00:06:35,062 --> 00:06:37,596
Your refusal to meet with
him would constitute
a significant loss
102
00:06:37,598 --> 00:06:39,965
of potential revenue
for the film series.
103
00:06:39,967 --> 00:06:41,833
And that would be actionable.
104
00:06:41,835 --> 00:06:44,669
Okay. Bye, Randall.
Thank you.
105
00:06:44,671 --> 00:06:47,839
So, I'm sorry, I'm afraid
we can't let you
not meet Perry Quinn.
106
00:06:48,775 --> 00:06:50,609
Fine. Sue me.
107
00:06:50,611 --> 00:06:52,878
I've hardly spent any of
my Merman money anyway.
108
00:06:52,880 --> 00:06:56,648
Oh, no, no. We're talking
about a lot more than
your Merman money.
109
00:06:56,650 --> 00:06:58,683
-Oh, yeah? How much more?
-[woman] Oh, a lot more.
110
00:06:58,685 --> 00:07:00,952
Plus, with a lawsuit
like this, I mean,
111
00:07:00,954 --> 00:07:03,989
you know, there's no way the
media isn't going to discover
112
00:07:03,991 --> 00:07:05,557
that you're Sally Carmichael.
113
00:07:06,559 --> 00:07:08,994
You... I'm...
114
00:07:08,996 --> 00:07:10,896
You flew all the way out here
to threaten me?
115
00:07:10,898 --> 00:07:13,565
Oh, no, no. No, no.
116
00:07:13,567 --> 00:07:15,934
Threat is not
the right word at all.
117
00:07:15,936 --> 00:07:18,570
We came out here
because we care about you
118
00:07:18,572 --> 00:07:20,839
and we want you to know
what will happen
119
00:07:20,841 --> 00:07:22,941
if you don't meet
with Perry. Ooh!
120
00:07:26,979 --> 00:07:28,780
What is this?
121
00:07:28,782 --> 00:07:31,483
Ah, it's an address of
a local bookstore.
3:00 p.m. tomorrow.
122
00:07:31,485 --> 00:07:32,918
Ask for I-sambard.
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00:07:32,920 --> 00:07:34,753
I-sambard? I was
gonna say Is-ambard.
124
00:07:34,755 --> 00:07:36,888
-Is-ambard?
-I've only seen it written down.
125
00:07:36,890 --> 00:07:38,990
-[woman] Is it Turkish?
-Who is Isambard?
126
00:07:38,992 --> 00:07:41,493
Oh, Perry is a bit eccentric.
127
00:07:41,495 --> 00:07:44,529
Just, whatever he wants,
just do it his way.
128
00:07:44,531 --> 00:07:47,032
-To avoid a lawsuit.
-[laughter]
129
00:07:47,034 --> 00:07:48,166
It's so true.
130
00:07:48,168 --> 00:07:50,635
-I'm just kidding.
-[woman] Anyway...
131
00:07:50,637 --> 00:07:52,170
But, you know...
132
00:07:53,239 --> 00:07:54,773
[pop music playing]
133
00:07:54,775 --> 00:07:59,544
♪ Heavy on my eyelids
134
00:08:00,813 --> 00:08:06,117
♪ Concrete in my shoes
135
00:08:07,854 --> 00:08:10,255
♪ It's over
136
00:08:11,591 --> 00:08:13,692
♪ It was a dream
137
00:08:15,661 --> 00:08:17,095
-Hey. Can I help you?
-Oh.
138
00:08:17,097 --> 00:08:19,531
Sorry. I didn't mean
to startle you.
139
00:08:20,600 --> 00:08:23,068
-I'm Tess.
-Hi. Simon.
140
00:08:23,070 --> 00:08:25,070
-I knew it.
-You knew what?
141
00:08:25,072 --> 00:08:30,709
This is my bookstore.
You did a reading here
years ago for Crossing Through.
142
00:08:30,711 --> 00:08:33,912
Yeah, yeah. I remember,
but I don't remember
anyone being here.
143
00:08:33,914 --> 00:08:34,946
I was here.
144
00:08:36,115 --> 00:08:38,817
I was here anyway,
'cause I work here.
145
00:08:38,819 --> 00:08:40,285
But I read your book,
and I loved it.
146
00:08:40,287 --> 00:08:42,254
You did? And...
147
00:08:42,256 --> 00:08:43,788
I'm sorry. You did?
148
00:08:43,790 --> 00:08:45,790
Yes. And yes. Yes.
149
00:08:45,792 --> 00:08:48,059
Um, you working on anything now?
150
00:08:49,262 --> 00:08:52,063
Um, sort of.
151
00:08:52,065 --> 00:08:53,231
Can you tell me about it?
152
00:08:54,734 --> 00:08:56,768
-Not really.
-Come on. One spoiler.
153
00:08:56,770 --> 00:08:59,004
Well...
154
00:08:59,006 --> 00:09:01,773
let's just say I'm trying
to figure out a way
to kill someone off,
155
00:09:03,009 --> 00:09:04,910
but I think I'm stuck.
156
00:09:04,912 --> 00:09:07,178
Well, good luck or
157
00:09:07,180 --> 00:09:09,047
break a leg, whatever it is
you say to writers.
158
00:09:09,049 --> 00:09:10,081
Yeah, thank you.
159
00:09:12,585 --> 00:09:14,319
So can I help you
find anything?
160
00:09:14,321 --> 00:09:17,923
Oh. Um, maybe.
I'm looking for...
161
00:09:17,925 --> 00:09:20,825
This is gonna sound ridiculous.
I'm looking for Isambard.
162
00:09:20,827 --> 00:09:23,562
Is that a book
or an author?
163
00:09:23,564 --> 00:09:25,230
It's a person.
164
00:09:25,232 --> 00:09:27,732
It's a work thing.
I'm supposed to
meet someone here.
165
00:09:27,734 --> 00:09:31,036
Oh. Well, you know,
there are a whole bunch
of chairs in the back.
166
00:09:31,038 --> 00:09:33,138
You're welcome to hang out
as long as you want.
167
00:09:33,140 --> 00:09:36,908
And if anyone named Isambard
walks through the door,
168
00:09:36,910 --> 00:09:38,743
I will know what to do.
169
00:09:38,745 --> 00:09:40,712
Well, thank you very much.
170
00:09:40,714 --> 00:09:42,714
My pleasure, Simon Hayes.
171
00:09:44,951 --> 00:09:46,718
-Excuse me.
-Yeah. Just...
172
00:09:46,720 --> 00:09:48,286
-Just back there.
-Oh. Thank you.
173
00:09:52,792 --> 00:09:56,661
[woman 1] Truly loving someone
means truly accepting
that person.
174
00:09:56,663 --> 00:09:59,898
[man 1] Yeah.
Like, this Alexander
really a person, though?
175
00:09:59,900 --> 00:10:01,800
[woman 2] Yeah. Of course he is.
176
00:10:01,802 --> 00:10:04,069
You know, he's a merman,
but he's still a man.
177
00:10:04,071 --> 00:10:06,304
-[man 2] You here
for the book club?
-[man 1] Hey. Come on in.
178
00:10:06,306 --> 00:10:07,772
Take a seat, my brother.
Come on.
179
00:10:08,941 --> 00:10:10,275
Welcome. Hmm.
180
00:10:13,346 --> 00:10:14,379
No.
181
00:10:20,720 --> 00:10:22,787
Come on. Take a seat.
182
00:10:22,789 --> 00:10:24,255
Good times ahead.
183
00:10:24,257 --> 00:10:25,890
Thank you.
184
00:10:27,927 --> 00:10:30,395
Alexander gives up
everything for Sarah.
185
00:10:30,397 --> 00:10:32,163
-Everything.
-Everything.
186
00:10:32,165 --> 00:10:33,732
Yeah. For sure.
187
00:10:33,734 --> 00:10:35,900
Meanwhile, I can't even get
Craig to meet my parents.
188
00:10:35,902 --> 00:10:40,905
You know, falling in love
with a merman is actually
a metaphor for eternal marriage.
189
00:10:40,907 --> 00:10:43,241
-See that?
-I read it in an article.
190
00:10:43,243 --> 00:10:44,376
-Where?
-Online.
191
00:10:45,845 --> 00:10:48,146
-Interesting. Online.
-Yes.
192
00:10:48,148 --> 00:10:50,181
[woman] If Sarah's
love for Alexander
was strong enough,
193
00:10:50,183 --> 00:10:52,317
-she could breathe water.
That's true.
-[woman 2] Yeah, right.
194
00:10:52,319 --> 00:10:53,785
I feel that.
195
00:10:53,787 --> 00:10:56,688
[man] So you think
fins on men are hot?
196
00:10:56,690 --> 00:11:00,892
Mmm-hmm. Yeah. Hot like
in that red flag sort
of way, like, "What?"
197
00:11:00,894 --> 00:11:03,662
When you're surrounded
by a school of sharks
198
00:11:03,664 --> 00:11:06,164
and you need find someone
to help you fight them off,
199
00:11:06,166 --> 00:11:08,667
I mean, then let me know
if you still think
that's a red flag.
200
00:11:08,669 --> 00:11:11,102
-[man 1] Yeah. I got you.
-[man 2] Hey. Spoilers.
201
00:11:11,104 --> 00:11:14,973
I'm only on page 207.
So, please, shut up.
202
00:11:14,975 --> 00:11:18,810
You've had two days.
The spoiler embargo is over.
203
00:11:18,812 --> 00:11:22,047
Yeah. How have you
not finished this book?
I couldn't put it down.
204
00:11:22,049 --> 00:11:23,948
How long do you
think it takes
205
00:11:23,950 --> 00:11:28,687
to build something so
manly yet so beautiful
at the same time?
206
00:11:28,689 --> 00:11:30,355
Seriously, it's awesome, bro.
207
00:11:30,357 --> 00:11:32,991
-It really is.
-Yeah. Uh, uh, uh, uh.
208
00:11:32,993 --> 00:11:35,193
I've got two words
for you. Merman abs.
209
00:11:35,195 --> 00:11:36,861
-I know. Thank you.
-[man] We live on land,
210
00:11:36,863 --> 00:11:39,364
but our bodies
are mostly water.
Think about it.
211
00:11:39,366 --> 00:11:43,301
Sally Carmichael,
it's like she was writing
about my life and me.
212
00:11:43,303 --> 00:11:46,971
Or at least what my life
could've been like if
I fell in love with a merman.
213
00:11:46,973 --> 00:11:48,907
-[man] Yeah.
-Oh, come on.
214
00:11:48,909 --> 00:11:50,709
Hey, what's your problem, man?
215
00:11:50,711 --> 00:11:52,444
Sure must be easy
judging something
216
00:11:52,446 --> 00:11:54,079
that you don't even know
anything about.
217
00:11:54,081 --> 00:11:55,880
-Yeah.
-Yeah.
218
00:11:55,882 --> 00:11:57,482
-Good one.
-I know.
219
00:12:00,986 --> 00:12:03,788
All right. Do you wanna
know why you feel like
220
00:12:03,790 --> 00:12:05,824
this book could be
written about you?
221
00:12:05,826 --> 00:12:07,892
Because it could be
written about anybody.
222
00:12:07,894 --> 00:12:10,261
The main character
is an empty shell.
223
00:12:10,263 --> 00:12:13,131
Have you even noticed
those books don't provide
any real description
224
00:12:13,133 --> 00:12:15,133
about Sarah other than
her general age
225
00:12:15,135 --> 00:12:18,002
and the fact that
she has red hair
and a yellow coat?
226
00:12:18,004 --> 00:12:22,240
That's not true.
It says that Sarah
is insecure and shy.
227
00:12:22,242 --> 00:12:27,879
-Nailed it.
-Vague character traits that
anyone can identify with.
228
00:12:27,881 --> 00:12:30,949
Sarah is never described
with any real detail
229
00:12:30,951 --> 00:12:34,085
so that any reader
can plug herself
right into that part
230
00:12:34,087 --> 00:12:36,888
and feel like the story
is being written about her.
231
00:12:36,890 --> 00:12:39,023
And look at you.
You two are dressed like her.
232
00:12:39,025 --> 00:12:41,826
This is not literature.
This is fantasy fulfillment.
233
00:12:41,828 --> 00:12:44,162
Okay. Just because
it isn't Shakespeare
234
00:12:44,164 --> 00:12:45,897
doesn't mean
it isn't literature.
235
00:12:45,899 --> 00:12:47,499
It is Shakespeare. It is.
236
00:12:47,501 --> 00:12:50,235
Shakespeare wrote this
over 400 years ago.
237
00:12:50,237 --> 00:12:51,870
He called it
Romeo and Juliet,
238
00:12:51,872 --> 00:12:53,438
and people have been
ripping it off ever since.
239
00:12:53,440 --> 00:13:00,145
This is page after page
of manufactured
romantic garbage
240
00:13:00,147 --> 00:13:02,113
written by someone,
who, apparently,
241
00:13:02,115 --> 00:13:04,349
is capable of writing
anything better.
242
00:13:04,351 --> 00:13:06,184
Sally Carmichael has a gift.
243
00:13:06,186 --> 00:13:08,553
Hemingway had a gift.
244
00:13:08,555 --> 00:13:10,789
Salinger had a gift.
245
00:13:10,791 --> 00:13:14,559
The ability to write emo
merman porn isn't a gift.
246
00:13:14,561 --> 00:13:15,794
It's a joke.
247
00:13:17,163 --> 00:13:19,264
-You're a joke.
-You're pathetic, man.
248
00:13:27,373 --> 00:13:29,340
At least we agree
on something.
249
00:13:35,281 --> 00:13:37,415
-No Isambard?
-No Isambard.
250
00:13:37,417 --> 00:13:39,984
That was some speech
you gave back there.
251
00:13:39,986 --> 00:13:41,519
You heard that?
I'm sorry.
252
00:13:41,521 --> 00:13:43,288
-I'm-I'm leaving.
-No. Wait...
253
00:13:43,290 --> 00:13:45,056
I mean, I thought
it was interesting.
254
00:13:45,058 --> 00:13:47,358
You thought
that was interesting?
255
00:13:47,360 --> 00:13:49,961
-Yeah. It was intense...
-[clears throat]
256
00:13:49,963 --> 00:13:52,130
-...but interesting.
-Yeah.
257
00:13:52,132 --> 00:13:54,432
-Can I ask you a question?
-Sure.
258
00:13:54,434 --> 00:13:56,467
Have you ever thought about
writing for a newspaper?
259
00:13:56,469 --> 00:13:58,269
Oh, no. I mean,
I'm not a journalist.
260
00:13:58,271 --> 00:14:00,138
Oh, I'm not talking
about a real newspaper.
261
00:14:00,140 --> 00:14:01,506
I publish the Valley Voice.
262
00:14:01,508 --> 00:14:03,942
It's a small indie paper.
Local stuff.
263
00:14:04,910 --> 00:14:06,978
You run a newspaper
and a bookstore?
264
00:14:06,980 --> 00:14:09,113
[sighs] If I was good
at either of them,
265
00:14:09,115 --> 00:14:11,249
I'd probably quit the other,
but here I am.
266
00:14:11,251 --> 00:14:17,188
And... Well, I wouldn't know
the first thing about writing
a newspaper article, so...
267
00:14:17,190 --> 00:14:20,258
What about an editorial
about the Siren phenomenon?
268
00:14:20,260 --> 00:14:23,494
Why critics hate it
and readers love it?
269
00:14:23,496 --> 00:14:25,096
But I can't. I shouldn't.
270
00:14:25,098 --> 00:14:31,336
and having a published author
would give the Valley Voice
a bit of
271
00:14:31,338 --> 00:14:35,006
much-needed credibility.
Plus, you'd be doing me
a huge favor.
272
00:14:37,276 --> 00:14:39,277
I, uh...
273
00:14:39,279 --> 00:14:42,247
-When do you need it?
-Anytime.
274
00:14:42,249 --> 00:14:45,283
As long as it's by the
end of the day tomorrow.
275
00:14:45,285 --> 00:14:48,186
I know. I know.
I just had a writer bail on me,
and I'm stuck here,
276
00:14:48,188 --> 00:14:49,220
otherwise, I'd do it.
277
00:14:49,222 --> 00:14:52,590
What do you say, Simon Hayes?
Help a big fan out?
278
00:14:55,060 --> 00:14:56,094
Please?
279
00:14:58,063 --> 00:14:59,898
Yeah. All right. Okay.
280
00:14:59,900 --> 00:15:02,367
Just promise you'll try
to keep your expectations low.
281
00:15:02,369 --> 00:15:05,904
I can't promise. I will try,
but I will try to try.
282
00:15:05,906 --> 00:15:08,373
Um, here is my info.
283
00:15:08,375 --> 00:15:10,909
This is my cellphone
and my email,
284
00:15:10,911 --> 00:15:14,646
so call me or email me
or text me, whatever.
285
00:15:17,116 --> 00:15:18,249
Tess Perkins.
286
00:15:21,320 --> 00:15:22,353
[sighs]
287
00:15:23,355 --> 00:15:25,390
-I should go.
-Yeah, you should.
288
00:15:28,093 --> 00:15:29,260
[cell phone vibrates]
289
00:15:36,702 --> 00:15:40,004
♪ When everyone's asleep,
including the computer ♪
290
00:15:40,006 --> 00:15:42,941
-Can I help you?
-Yeah. Simon Hayes for...
291
00:15:44,176 --> 00:15:46,311
Isambard Kingdom Brunel.
292
00:15:47,479 --> 00:15:48,680
Just a minute, Mr. Hayes.
293
00:15:52,952 --> 00:15:54,519
Have a nice day.
294
00:15:54,521 --> 00:15:58,256
♪ The things you never did,
the things you never will ♪
295
00:15:58,258 --> 00:16:01,693
♪ The way she talks,
you'd think she didn't
know you were hard ♪
296
00:16:01,695 --> 00:16:06,597
♪ The way she talks,
you'd think she didn't
know you were hard to kill ♪
297
00:16:09,034 --> 00:16:10,234
♪ Hard to kill
298
00:16:14,039 --> 00:16:17,508
Hi. I'm Phillip.
Perry Quinn's
executive assistant.
299
00:16:17,510 --> 00:16:19,477
-Hey. Simon.
-Come on in.
300
00:16:21,613 --> 00:16:23,481
[opera music playing]
301
00:16:23,483 --> 00:16:24,983
Can I get you
something to drink?
302
00:16:24,985 --> 00:16:27,151
Water? Vitamin water?
A beer?
303
00:16:27,153 --> 00:16:29,354
No. I'm fine. Thank you.
304
00:16:29,356 --> 00:16:32,156
Mr. Hayes is here.
All right.
305
00:16:34,426 --> 00:16:35,560
He's ready for you.
306
00:16:52,444 --> 00:16:53,778
Simon Hayes.
307
00:16:55,414 --> 00:16:56,447
Hi.
308
00:16:57,616 --> 00:16:59,183
Sally Carmichael.
309
00:17:01,220 --> 00:17:02,754
[chuckles] Amazing.
310
00:17:04,556 --> 00:17:07,125
I mean, they told me,
but come on.
311
00:17:08,327 --> 00:17:10,595
This is incredible.
You're incredible.
312
00:17:12,097 --> 00:17:13,598
And no one knows?
313
00:17:13,600 --> 00:17:16,601
Everyone thinks
you're some Mormon mom?
314
00:17:16,603 --> 00:17:19,470
Well, I'm Mormon.
I'm not a mom, obviously.
315
00:17:19,472 --> 00:17:22,240
Oh, yeah.
Mormons are great. Yeah.
316
00:17:22,242 --> 00:17:24,542
-Can I get you water? Beer?
-I don't drink.
317
00:17:24,544 --> 00:17:27,111
-I'll get you water and beer.
-I don't. I don't...
318
00:17:27,113 --> 00:17:29,147
I knew this artist
in Chicago.
319
00:17:30,516 --> 00:17:33,684
He had this entire show
at the contemporary art center.
320
00:17:33,686 --> 00:17:35,686
People loved it great.
321
00:17:35,688 --> 00:17:38,689
Turned out
it was all garbage.
322
00:17:38,691 --> 00:17:41,225
Literally garbage.
323
00:17:41,227 --> 00:17:43,661
Stuff he found in dumpsters
all around town.
324
00:17:43,663 --> 00:17:46,731
No one knew.
It was incredible.
Incredible.
325
00:17:48,267 --> 00:17:50,301
Not to say your
books are garbage.
326
00:17:50,303 --> 00:17:52,170
I mean, they sold over
100 million copies.
327
00:17:52,172 --> 00:17:53,805
How bad can they be, huh?
[laughs]
328
00:17:53,807 --> 00:17:55,640
Ah, you'll be surprised.
329
00:17:55,642 --> 00:17:59,210
You're modest.
I don't like that.
Don't be modest.
330
00:17:59,212 --> 00:18:00,244
Just tell me...
331
00:18:02,414 --> 00:18:03,481
why Perry?
332
00:18:07,686 --> 00:18:10,788
-"Why Perry" what?
-Why Perry Quinn?
333
00:18:12,724 --> 00:18:16,127
-Why not Perry Quinn?
-Why Perry Quinn
for this movie?
334
00:18:16,129 --> 00:18:20,364
How? I don't know.
Why not Matthew McConaughey?
335
00:18:20,366 --> 00:18:22,600
I'm kidding. I'm kidding.
336
00:18:22,602 --> 00:18:25,103
-But I'm also serious.
-Oh.
337
00:18:25,105 --> 00:18:27,638
If I'm gonna commit
to this hoax,
338
00:18:27,640 --> 00:18:32,210
I need to know
why you want me,
Perry Quinn?
339
00:18:33,445 --> 00:18:35,413
Right. It-It's not a hoax.
340
00:18:38,183 --> 00:18:40,785
Right. Right.
It's performance art.
341
00:18:40,787 --> 00:18:43,688
You're an artist,
but if I'm involved,
342
00:18:43,690 --> 00:18:46,224
I have a lot invested, too.
343
00:18:46,226 --> 00:18:49,760
Right. Listen.
I think there's been
a misunderstanding.
344
00:18:49,762 --> 00:18:51,562
-I'm not an artist.
-I told you. No modesty.
345
00:18:52,531 --> 00:18:53,798
Ah. Uh...
346
00:18:53,800 --> 00:18:55,600
Why don't you
tell me the story?
347
00:18:58,237 --> 00:19:00,438
Well, it's about a merman.
348
00:19:00,440 --> 00:19:02,306
And the young woman
that falls in love with him.
349
00:19:03,408 --> 00:19:04,876
-Right. Right.
-Yeah.
350
00:19:06,345 --> 00:19:09,814
-Just tell me the story.
-You haven't read it?
351
00:19:09,816 --> 00:19:12,383
Well, why would I ask you
to tell me the story
if I'd read it?
352
00:19:12,385 --> 00:19:15,253
Yeah. I guess I just
didn't realize I was here
to tell you the story.
353
00:19:15,255 --> 00:19:17,722
Why would I want someone
who didn't write the story
to tell me the story?
354
00:19:17,724 --> 00:19:20,424
I mean, I don't want someone
who's not Japanese
make me sushi.
355
00:19:20,426 --> 00:19:22,360
You understand
what I'm saying?
356
00:19:22,362 --> 00:19:25,696
That sounds really
good right now.
You want some sushi?
357
00:19:25,698 --> 00:19:28,166
-You wanna go for sushi?
-Oh, no, no.
Phillip will get us sushi.
358
00:19:30,502 --> 00:19:31,769
Um...
359
00:19:34,940 --> 00:19:37,475
Listen, Perry...
360
00:19:37,477 --> 00:19:39,710
-you're a great actor...
-Mmm-hmm.
361
00:19:39,712 --> 00:19:41,579
...and I'm sure you'll
be great in this movie.
362
00:19:41,581 --> 00:19:44,549
But I have to tell you,
I think you're talking
to the wrong person.
363
00:19:44,551 --> 00:19:46,250
I'm not writing
the screenplay.
364
00:19:46,252 --> 00:19:48,419
I have nothing
to do with it.
365
00:19:48,421 --> 00:19:50,221
Then why are you the one
pitching it to me?
366
00:19:51,657 --> 00:19:55,393
Uh, well, because they told me
you wanted to meet me.
367
00:19:57,729 --> 00:20:00,898
Reverse psychology.
You're good, man. Smart.
368
00:20:02,401 --> 00:20:05,870
I tell you what.
I'll have Phillip
read me the book,
369
00:20:05,872 --> 00:20:08,439
and I'll think about it.
I really will.
370
00:20:10,375 --> 00:20:12,543
And that's fair.
371
00:20:12,545 --> 00:20:14,812
It's a real pleasure to
meet you, Simon Hayes.
372
00:20:14,814 --> 00:20:16,280
Come on.
373
00:20:17,316 --> 00:20:20,518
Uh... Sorry.
Uh, there is an audiobook.
374
00:20:20,520 --> 00:20:23,221
Read by some
audiobook narrator?
No, thanks.
375
00:20:23,223 --> 00:20:25,256
I'll stick with Phillip.
376
00:20:25,258 --> 00:20:28,559
You know, he's got a BFA
from the Lee Strasberg
Theatre and Film Institute.
377
00:20:28,561 --> 00:20:30,528
-Okay.
-Ah, sushi, yes.
378
00:20:31,630 --> 00:20:33,397
See you, Simes.
379
00:20:33,399 --> 00:20:34,865
Awesome.
380
00:20:34,867 --> 00:20:37,702
Which one's the
California rolls?
381
00:20:37,704 --> 00:20:39,804
So, this kid Lucas has been
tracking me all week, right?
382
00:20:39,806 --> 00:20:41,472
Trying to get the drop on me.
383
00:20:41,474 --> 00:20:43,641
So, yesterday,
I sneak up behind him.
384
00:20:43,643 --> 00:20:45,343
Kid's got no idea I'm married.
385
00:20:45,345 --> 00:20:47,411
[Darren] Simon,
just do it his way.
386
00:20:47,413 --> 00:20:48,813
I mean, to avoid a lawsuit.
387
00:20:48,815 --> 00:20:50,615
[laughter]
388
00:20:50,617 --> 00:20:52,283
The kid, he's got
time to practice.
389
00:20:52,285 --> 00:20:54,785
I got a job.
I got a family.
I'm barely online.
390
00:20:54,787 --> 00:20:57,555
Mmm-hmm. Ellie,
not at the table, okay?
391
00:20:57,557 --> 00:21:00,558
But Alexander is about
to stand trial for revealing
his species to a human.
392
00:21:00,560 --> 00:21:02,360
He can stand trial
after dinner.
393
00:21:03,395 --> 00:21:04,795
Are we still
working out tomorrow?
394
00:21:04,797 --> 00:21:06,831
'Cause Lucas likes to
show up online around lunch,
395
00:21:06,833 --> 00:21:09,367
and I'd love to be there
when he does.
396
00:21:09,369 --> 00:21:11,769
Oh, I'm sorry.
I completely forgot.
397
00:21:11,771 --> 00:21:14,505
I booked this little job.
My deadline's tomorrow morning.
398
00:21:14,507 --> 00:21:15,840
Like a "job" job?
399
00:21:15,842 --> 00:21:17,675
Ah, well,
it's a little article.
400
00:21:17,677 --> 00:21:19,577
-For what?
-The Valley Voice.
401
00:21:19,579 --> 00:21:21,312
And that is?
402
00:21:21,314 --> 00:21:23,714
Exactly. It's just a little
independent newspaper.
403
00:21:23,716 --> 00:21:25,883
The owner said she was in a bind
and asked me if I could help.
404
00:21:25,885 --> 00:21:27,885
"She"?
405
00:21:27,887 --> 00:21:29,820
Yeah. She. So?
406
00:21:29,822 --> 00:21:31,822
You two were just
chatting it up?
407
00:21:32,858 --> 00:21:34,625
What does that mean?
408
00:21:34,627 --> 00:21:38,296
[laughs] Nothing. It's just...
You don't ever chat anyone up.
409
00:21:38,298 --> 00:21:42,300
What are you talking about?
I chat. I'm chatting you up
right now. I'm very chatty.
410
00:21:42,302 --> 00:21:45,403
-We're the only people
you ever chat up.
-That's not true.
411
00:21:45,405 --> 00:21:47,505
[Brad] And we only talk
because you're my brother.
412
00:21:47,507 --> 00:21:50,708
Uncle Simon, is she pretty?
413
00:21:50,710 --> 00:21:54,345
Look, you guys are reading
way too much into this.
414
00:21:54,347 --> 00:21:56,881
This is just
a tiny little article
in a tiny little newspaper
415
00:21:56,883 --> 00:22:00,318
-that no one's ever gonna read.
-How did you two even meet?
416
00:22:00,320 --> 00:22:04,522
Well, we met at this
little bookstore which
she also owns,
417
00:22:04,524 --> 00:22:06,724
which is not important.
Look, I was there to meet...
418
00:22:07,993 --> 00:22:09,927
[Brad] Who?
419
00:22:09,929 --> 00:22:12,430
Never mind.
Guys, it's nothing.
420
00:22:13,565 --> 00:22:15,366
This is really something.
421
00:22:15,368 --> 00:22:17,835
That's a relief,
'cause I was only
going for "not horrible."
422
00:22:17,837 --> 00:22:20,771
I'm not kidding, Simon.
I mean, it's pretty harsh,
423
00:22:20,773 --> 00:22:23,741
but you really seem
to get how and why
these books work.
424
00:22:23,743 --> 00:22:25,443
You know, you should
write a young adult novel.
425
00:22:25,445 --> 00:22:26,777
You could probably
make a million bucks.
426
00:22:27,713 --> 00:22:28,979
I even love the title.
427
00:22:28,981 --> 00:22:31,749
The New York Times
number one best sellout.
428
00:22:31,751 --> 00:22:33,117
Do you have
a recent headshot?
429
00:22:33,119 --> 00:22:36,854
For the byline.
I can just grab
a quick one right now.
430
00:22:36,856 --> 00:22:39,357
Oh, no. That's okay.
We don't need that.
431
00:22:39,359 --> 00:22:40,825
Bad hair day?
432
00:22:40,827 --> 00:22:44,428
Uh, no.
Sorta have a thing.
433
00:22:44,430 --> 00:22:46,030
What kind of sorta thing?
434
00:22:46,032 --> 00:22:49,533
Uh, cameras. I'm not
great in front of them.
It's a thing.
435
00:22:49,535 --> 00:22:51,569
So you're camera-shy?
436
00:22:51,571 --> 00:22:54,038
Well, that's one way
of putting it. The other way
would be anxiety disorder.
437
00:22:54,040 --> 00:22:55,773
Your way's nicer.
438
00:22:55,775 --> 00:22:58,676
Well, that is a thing.
439
00:22:59,911 --> 00:23:04,148
Yeah. I-I had a full-blown
panic attack
440
00:23:04,150 --> 00:23:06,550
during tenth grade
yearbook picture.
441
00:23:06,552 --> 00:23:10,121
It's the kind of thing
that sticks with you
well past graduation.
442
00:23:10,123 --> 00:23:12,957
Maybe you're looking
at it the wrong way.
443
00:23:12,959 --> 00:23:15,926
Maybe you're just super-awesome
at stage fright.
444
00:23:15,928 --> 00:23:19,397
No worries. I can just use
the picture from your book.
445
00:23:19,399 --> 00:23:21,065
And if it's any consolation,
446
00:23:21,067 --> 00:23:22,933
hardly anyone's gonna
see it anyway.
447
00:23:22,935 --> 00:23:24,135
[door opens]
448
00:23:24,137 --> 00:23:26,904
-Hey, babe.
-Hey, Mom.
449
00:23:26,906 --> 00:23:29,774
Andie, this is Mr. Hayes.
He's helping me
with the paper.
450
00:23:29,776 --> 00:23:33,177
Hi. It's nice to meet you.
You can call me Simon.
451
00:23:33,179 --> 00:23:34,812
Hi, Simon.
452
00:23:34,814 --> 00:23:36,147
Mom, my friends
are on their way.
453
00:23:36,149 --> 00:23:37,815
Can I go out front
and wait for them?
454
00:23:37,817 --> 00:23:39,817
Sure. Say hi to
Avery's mom for me.
455
00:23:39,819 --> 00:23:42,186
-[Andie] I will.
-Bye, Andie.
456
00:23:42,188 --> 00:23:43,454
Bye.
457
00:23:45,090 --> 00:23:47,858
[Tess] I've been so busy today.
I skipped lunch.
458
00:23:47,860 --> 00:23:49,560
You hungry?
459
00:23:52,464 --> 00:23:54,064
[Simon] Thank you.
460
00:23:54,066 --> 00:23:56,000
[Tess]
You know, I wasn't kidding
about the young-adult thing.
461
00:23:57,702 --> 00:24:00,805
[chuckles] I wouldn't want
my name on something like that.
462
00:24:00,807 --> 00:24:04,942
Still, can you imagine
having created something
that wildly popular?
463
00:24:06,044 --> 00:24:07,745
We're still trying
to talk places
464
00:24:07,747 --> 00:24:10,548
into giving the Voice
away for free.
465
00:24:10,550 --> 00:24:12,216
Wait. You're not online?
466
00:24:12,218 --> 00:24:15,152
We are, but I don't know,
it's stupid.
467
00:24:15,154 --> 00:24:19,490
Hey, don't forget.
You're talking to the
yearbook pic panic attack guy.
468
00:24:19,492 --> 00:24:23,127
Well, ever since I was
in high school, I dreamed
of having a real newspaper,
469
00:24:23,129 --> 00:24:26,530
one that, you know,
you carry under your arm
470
00:24:26,532 --> 00:24:29,967
and take home
and cut stuff out of
and paste into scrapbooks.
471
00:24:29,969 --> 00:24:33,537
So your high school dream
was to start a newspaper
in the 1930s?
472
00:24:33,539 --> 00:24:35,473
I told you it was stupid.
473
00:24:35,475 --> 00:24:37,842
No. No, I get it.
474
00:24:37,844 --> 00:24:40,511
You have the chance
to do something
you've always wanted to do,
475
00:24:40,513 --> 00:24:42,980
and you wanna do it right,
and you wanna do it your way.
476
00:24:42,982 --> 00:24:46,484
Exactly. Why should I spend
as much time and effort
on something
477
00:24:46,486 --> 00:24:48,185
unless it's something
I'm gonna be proud of?
478
00:24:49,221 --> 00:24:50,888
Yeah.
479
00:24:50,890 --> 00:24:52,723
Can I ask you
a personal question?
480
00:24:52,725 --> 00:24:54,225
Uh, sure.
481
00:24:54,227 --> 00:24:55,826
Are you proud of your book?
482
00:24:57,729 --> 00:24:59,797
Yeah. Crossing Through?
483
00:24:59,799 --> 00:25:02,199
Yeah. Unless there's
another book that you wrote
that I don't know about.
484
00:25:07,906 --> 00:25:10,774
I-I was proud of it
when it was published.
485
00:25:10,776 --> 00:25:12,276
And then?
486
00:25:13,545 --> 00:25:14,979
Then nobody read it.
487
00:25:14,981 --> 00:25:17,181
I read it. I'm somebody.
488
00:25:18,250 --> 00:25:19,750
You certainly are.
489
00:25:19,752 --> 00:25:21,952
Besides, whoever said that
the value of a book
490
00:25:21,954 --> 00:25:24,021
is measured in how
many copies it sells?
491
00:25:24,023 --> 00:25:25,856
-Everybody.
-Not me.
492
00:25:27,058 --> 00:25:29,226
And you're somebody.
493
00:25:29,228 --> 00:25:30,594
I certainly am.
494
00:25:36,801 --> 00:25:38,569
[commentator] Forty-love.
495
00:25:38,571 --> 00:25:41,071
So whatever happened with
that girl at the bookstore?
496
00:25:41,073 --> 00:25:42,540
Her name's Tess.
497
00:25:42,542 --> 00:25:44,308
[Brad] She has a name then.
That's progress.
498
00:25:44,310 --> 00:25:48,178
Well, it's just work.
499
00:25:48,180 --> 00:25:50,981
-Please tell me you're
working it while you work.
-[game chimes]
500
00:25:50,983 --> 00:25:52,616
Come on. I'm not like you.
501
00:25:52,618 --> 00:25:55,886
[chuckling] But you could be.
You just worry too much.
502
00:25:55,888 --> 00:25:59,290
It's funny you should say that.
I told her about my anxiety.
503
00:25:59,292 --> 00:26:00,925
-Really?
-Hmm.
504
00:26:01,993 --> 00:26:04,795
I wasn't planning on it.
I just--
505
00:26:04,797 --> 00:26:08,332
I don't know. I guess
I felt comfortable and
then it just came out.
506
00:26:08,334 --> 00:26:10,701
-Well, how'd she react?
-Fine.
507
00:26:10,703 --> 00:26:13,170
No weirdness.
No judgment. No nothing.
508
00:26:13,172 --> 00:26:16,840
And now somehow,
you're gonna find
the bad news in all this.
509
00:26:16,842 --> 00:26:19,143
Well, I was doing her
a favor at the time,
510
00:26:19,145 --> 00:26:20,678
so how was she
supposed to react?
511
00:26:20,680 --> 00:26:21,912
And there it is.
512
00:26:21,914 --> 00:26:23,814
That's not looking
for the bad news.
513
00:26:23,816 --> 00:26:28,886
Okay. Well, paint
the full picture for me,
then. Is she pretty?
514
00:26:28,888 --> 00:26:30,654
She is beautiful.
515
00:26:30,656 --> 00:26:32,890
And now you're worried
that she won't like you
516
00:26:32,892 --> 00:26:34,592
now that she doesn't
need something from you.
517
00:26:34,594 --> 00:26:35,926
No.
518
00:26:37,095 --> 00:26:39,263
-Maybe.
-Yeah.
519
00:26:39,265 --> 00:26:40,798
Well, just wait and see.
520
00:26:40,800 --> 00:26:42,032
-[game chimes]
-You'll know.
521
00:26:42,034 --> 00:26:43,867
How will I know?
522
00:26:43,869 --> 00:26:47,271
You'll know when you know,
'cause you know. Ha!
523
00:26:49,207 --> 00:26:51,175
[indistinct chatter]
524
00:26:51,177 --> 00:26:53,611
-Oh, sorry.
-Mr. Hayes.
525
00:26:53,613 --> 00:26:55,779
Hi. I'm Phillip.
I'm Perry Quinn's
executive assistant.
526
00:26:55,781 --> 00:26:58,315
Yeah. Hey, Phillip, we've met.
Please. Just Simon.
527
00:26:58,317 --> 00:27:00,150
-Thanks so much for coming.
-Yeah.
528
00:27:00,152 --> 00:27:02,152
Perry is so excited
to talk to you today,
529
00:27:02,154 --> 00:27:04,121
but he's prepping
for a big scene,
530
00:27:04,123 --> 00:27:06,323
so he's staying
in character all day.
531
00:27:06,325 --> 00:27:08,325
-What does that mean?
-Oh, it's nothing
to worry about.
532
00:27:08,327 --> 00:27:10,661
He's still the same old Perry.
533
00:27:10,663 --> 00:27:12,997
But he's also Isambard
Kingdom Brunel,
534
00:27:12,999 --> 00:27:15,799
creator of the Great
Western Railway.
535
00:27:15,801 --> 00:27:18,068
It's no big deal, really,
but just make sure
536
00:27:18,070 --> 00:27:20,771
that you address him
as Isambard.
537
00:27:20,773 --> 00:27:23,007
-You're kidding.
-No.
538
00:27:23,975 --> 00:27:25,242
He's ready for you.
539
00:27:30,281 --> 00:27:32,282
-[toilet flushes]
-[Isambard] Ah.
540
00:27:32,284 --> 00:27:35,352
Simon, old chap.
Jolly good to see you.
541
00:27:35,354 --> 00:27:37,655
-Isambard?
-Is-ambard. Is-ambard.
542
00:27:37,657 --> 00:27:39,990
-Is-Is-ambard.
-Can I get you anything?
543
00:27:39,992 --> 00:27:41,792
Water? Ale?
544
00:27:41,794 --> 00:27:44,061
-Sure. Water.
-Water.
545
00:27:44,063 --> 00:27:49,199
I just finished your novel,
and it was the most
hilarious book
546
00:27:49,201 --> 00:27:52,736
Phillip has ever read to me.
Just extraordinary. [laughs]
547
00:27:52,738 --> 00:27:54,338
You thought it was hilarious?
548
00:27:54,340 --> 00:27:56,740
Are you jesting? I mean,
you sold millions of books
549
00:27:56,742 --> 00:27:59,309
about a girl who falls
in love with a bloody merman,
550
00:27:59,311 --> 00:28:02,146
and no one knows
it's a prank.
That's hilarious.
551
00:28:02,148 --> 00:28:05,683
Ah, Phillip, thou hast
brought hither the water,
my man.
552
00:28:05,685 --> 00:28:06,884
-Lovely.
-Thank you.
553
00:28:06,886 --> 00:28:08,919
So, I don't have
much time today,
554
00:28:08,921 --> 00:28:10,788
but I wanted to tell you
face-to-face.
555
00:28:12,090 --> 00:28:13,724
I'm in.
556
00:28:13,726 --> 00:28:15,359
You're in? The movie?
That's great.
557
00:28:15,361 --> 00:28:17,361
I've just got to work
with the old sport.
558
00:28:17,363 --> 00:28:19,296
I... Well, I'm not working
on the movie.
559
00:28:22,033 --> 00:28:24,201
Right. Right.
But what's next?
560
00:28:25,470 --> 00:28:27,304
Uh, what do you mean?
561
00:28:27,306 --> 00:28:30,007
You see, there's one thing
I know, it's story.
562
00:28:30,009 --> 00:28:32,876
And the real story
here is you.
563
00:28:32,878 --> 00:28:34,211
You see, I said yes
to this movie
564
00:28:34,213 --> 00:28:36,980
because I'm in the
Simon Hayes business.
565
00:28:36,982 --> 00:28:39,283
And I want to know what
you've got planned next.
566
00:28:39,285 --> 00:28:41,118
I'm all ears.
I'm on pins and needles.
567
00:28:41,120 --> 00:28:43,420
[clears throat] Uh...
568
00:28:43,422 --> 00:28:46,123
-Listen, Perry...
-Isambard. Isambard.
569
00:28:46,125 --> 00:28:48,358
Isambard, I, uh...
570
00:28:48,360 --> 00:28:50,794
-I'm thrilled you're doing
the movie. I really am.
-Me, too.
571
00:28:50,796 --> 00:28:52,930
But I don't have
anything planned next.
572
00:28:52,932 --> 00:28:55,399
This whole thing
was just a fluke.
573
00:28:56,935 --> 00:28:58,969
Fine. Fine.
574
00:28:58,971 --> 00:29:02,372
-No. I'm serious.
-Sure. Sure.
575
00:29:02,374 --> 00:29:04,141
Scout's honor.
576
00:29:04,143 --> 00:29:06,243
What does that mean?
577
00:29:06,245 --> 00:29:08,312
You're going to do something
with the Boy Scouts?
578
00:29:08,314 --> 00:29:10,814
What? No. No.
579
00:29:10,816 --> 00:29:12,483
I'm just a writer.
I'm not even a good one.
580
00:29:12,485 --> 00:29:16,987
Do you know what you are?
You are an artist. Yes.
581
00:29:16,989 --> 00:29:19,490
Do you have any idea
how rare that is?
582
00:29:19,492 --> 00:29:21,225
-I really don't.
-No. No.
583
00:29:21,227 --> 00:29:23,460
No. A true artist wouldn't.
584
00:29:23,462 --> 00:29:26,130
See, you're the kind of chap
that comes once a generation.
585
00:29:26,132 --> 00:29:28,365
Maybe less. You have a gift.
586
00:29:29,834 --> 00:29:31,235
Uh, Isambard?
587
00:29:31,237 --> 00:29:33,470
Isambard. Yes, yes.
I drive art.
588
00:29:33,472 --> 00:29:36,206
I support art.
I nurture the creation of art,
589
00:29:36,208 --> 00:29:38,308
because I understand that art
590
00:29:38,310 --> 00:29:40,778
has the power
to change the world.
591
00:29:41,513 --> 00:29:43,814
That's my job.
592
00:29:43,816 --> 00:29:47,050
That's my gift to the world.
593
00:29:49,921 --> 00:29:52,322
I know you're going
to do something.
I don't know what it is.
594
00:29:52,324 --> 00:29:54,158
-But...
-Shh.
595
00:29:54,160 --> 00:29:57,094
But I'm ready.
We're in this together.
596
00:29:57,096 --> 00:29:59,930
Embrace me, my friend.
Embrace me.
597
00:29:59,932 --> 00:30:02,332
We're in this together.
Together. Do you hear?
598
00:30:02,334 --> 00:30:04,268
Ah. I'm never letting go.
599
00:30:11,376 --> 00:30:13,544
-Cute bag.
-Thanks.
600
00:30:13,546 --> 00:30:15,813
Did you steal it
from a homeless person?
601
00:30:17,982 --> 00:30:19,316
It was my dad's.
602
00:30:19,318 --> 00:30:22,085
Your dad's homeless?
That's so sad.
603
00:30:22,087 --> 00:30:23,120
[giggling]
604
00:30:31,029 --> 00:30:32,329
Hey, honey.
605
00:30:33,531 --> 00:30:34,565
Andie?
606
00:30:39,270 --> 00:30:40,537
Hey, couldn't you hear me?
607
00:30:40,539 --> 00:30:41,939
[sniffles]
608
00:30:45,043 --> 00:30:46,844
What's wrong?
609
00:30:46,846 --> 00:30:48,111
Nothing.
610
00:30:50,148 --> 00:30:51,548
Are you sure?
611
00:30:53,151 --> 00:30:55,853
Some people are
just jerks sometimes.
612
00:30:58,857 --> 00:30:59,957
What happened?
613
00:31:03,161 --> 00:31:05,462
Honey, I need you to tell me
what happened, please.
614
00:31:08,466 --> 00:31:10,567
Just some girls from school.
615
00:31:12,337 --> 00:31:14,004
They made fun of my bag.
616
00:31:20,111 --> 00:31:22,479
You know we can always
get you a new bag.
617
00:31:24,349 --> 00:31:27,217
A really cute one.
If you want.
618
00:31:30,421 --> 00:31:32,256
I like this one.
619
00:31:34,893 --> 00:31:35,959
I know.
620
00:31:39,197 --> 00:31:41,064
Some people are
jerks sometimes.
621
00:31:52,343 --> 00:31:54,144
[cell phone vibrating]
622
00:32:04,355 --> 00:32:05,923
-Hello, Darren.
-[Darren] Dude.
623
00:32:05,925 --> 00:32:07,925
What did you do?
624
00:32:07,927 --> 00:32:09,159
What do you mean?
625
00:32:09,161 --> 00:32:11,228
I just got off the phone
with Perry's agent.
626
00:32:11,230 --> 00:32:14,231
He said Perry loves you.
627
00:32:14,233 --> 00:32:17,234
No, correction. He said
Perry's "in love" with you.
628
00:32:17,236 --> 00:32:19,569
This call isn't about
to get weird, is it?
629
00:32:19,571 --> 00:32:23,473
[laughs] No! I just
wanted to let you know,
great work, man.
630
00:32:23,475 --> 00:32:27,511
No. I'm happy to help
as long as it means
you're not gonna sue me.
631
00:32:27,513 --> 00:32:30,414
[laughs] You are hilarious.
632
00:32:30,416 --> 00:32:31,715
Let's not get ahead
of ourselves.
633
00:32:33,618 --> 00:32:35,118
What? What does that mean?
634
00:32:35,120 --> 00:32:36,720
Nah. I'm just messing with you.
635
00:32:36,722 --> 00:32:38,655
He's gonna sign
the deal, all right?
636
00:32:38,657 --> 00:32:40,557
So, of course,
we're not gonna sue you.
637
00:32:40,559 --> 00:32:42,726
Right. But what if he doesn't?
638
00:32:42,728 --> 00:32:44,528
But he will, right?
639
00:32:46,464 --> 00:32:48,465
-But what if he doesn't?
-Okay.
640
00:32:48,467 --> 00:32:50,233
You are a riot, Simon.
641
00:32:50,235 --> 00:32:52,202
-We'll talk to you later.
-Wait. Wait. Wait.
642
00:32:52,204 --> 00:32:53,603
Darren, what if he doesn't?
643
00:32:53,605 --> 00:32:55,973
Oh, well, who was
on first? [laughs]
644
00:32:55,975 --> 00:32:57,641
Relax. Nobody's gonna get sued.
645
00:32:57,643 --> 00:33:00,210
But if anyone does,
you'll be the first to know.
646
00:33:00,212 --> 00:33:01,745
-No. Darren--
-Take care, buddy.
647
00:33:01,747 --> 00:33:02,980
Darren?
648
00:33:38,549 --> 00:33:40,083
[phone chimes]
649
00:33:54,732 --> 00:33:55,766
[phone chimes]
650
00:34:51,222 --> 00:34:52,689
[phone chimes]
651
00:35:34,565 --> 00:35:39,769
So, you're ten...
11...
652
00:35:39,771 --> 00:35:41,872
-12.
-12. I said 12.
653
00:35:41,874 --> 00:35:43,707
[Tess] I hope you like
spaghetti, because...
654
00:35:45,376 --> 00:35:47,511
I know how to make spaghetti.
655
00:35:47,513 --> 00:35:51,281
I wanted to try Taco Tuesday,
you know, for the alliteration--
656
00:35:51,283 --> 00:35:52,782
But I don't like tacos.
657
00:35:52,784 --> 00:35:55,185
And none of the days
of the week start with "spa."
658
00:35:55,187 --> 00:35:56,586
-We checked.
-That's true.
659
00:35:58,289 --> 00:35:59,489
Do you mind?
660
00:35:59,491 --> 00:36:01,558
-[Tess] Sure. Go ahead.
-Simon.
661
00:36:01,560 --> 00:36:04,394
Would you rather have
three ears or no ears?
662
00:36:05,663 --> 00:36:08,365
-Uh...
-Don't look at me.
It's your question.
663
00:36:08,367 --> 00:36:12,636
Well, may I ask where
the third ear would be located?
664
00:36:13,938 --> 00:36:15,739
In the middle
of your forehead.
665
00:36:15,741 --> 00:36:19,309
Oh. Well, in that case,
definitely three ears,
666
00:36:19,311 --> 00:36:22,646
'cause I could hear
what's coming,
and I'd be unstoppable.
667
00:36:22,648 --> 00:36:27,250
Would you rather wrestle
a bear or a shark?
668
00:36:27,252 --> 00:36:29,352
Well, if I'm on land,
a shark,
669
00:36:29,354 --> 00:36:31,855
because it wouldn't
be able to breathe.
But if I'm in water,
670
00:36:31,857 --> 00:36:33,523
a bear, because
bears can't swim.
671
00:36:33,525 --> 00:36:35,759
-Bears can totally swim.
-But not as good as sharks.
672
00:36:36,827 --> 00:36:39,262
-Hmm.
-Would you rather
673
00:36:39,264 --> 00:36:42,499
eat a used Band-Aid
or a dirty dish-rack?
674
00:36:42,501 --> 00:36:45,569
Hmm. I'd actually try both.
675
00:36:45,571 --> 00:36:47,671
Dish-racks have more flavor.
676
00:36:47,673 --> 00:36:49,773
[both] Ew!
677
00:36:49,775 --> 00:36:51,308
Would you rather...
678
00:36:52,843 --> 00:36:55,645
find a zombie
or get struck by lightning?
679
00:36:55,647 --> 00:36:58,982
Zombies aren't real,
and people don't really
get struck by lightning.
680
00:36:58,984 --> 00:37:00,884
-Oh, yeah. Sure they do.
-Nah-uh.
681
00:37:00,886 --> 00:37:03,320
Thousands of people get struck
by lightning every year.
682
00:37:03,322 --> 00:37:06,790
-Really?
-And there are seven billion
people on the planet,
683
00:37:06,792 --> 00:37:09,559
so the chances of you
getting struck by lightning
are really small.
684
00:37:09,561 --> 00:37:11,528
Still, gotta happen
to somebody.
685
00:37:11,530 --> 00:37:12,896
[imitates crackling]
686
00:37:16,300 --> 00:37:19,402
Uh, Andie,
what do you wanna be
when you grow up?
687
00:37:22,673 --> 00:37:24,341
A writer.
688
00:37:24,343 --> 00:37:26,876
Oh. A writer, really?
689
00:37:26,878 --> 00:37:27,911
She's my little reader.
690
00:37:29,013 --> 00:37:30,680
I love to read, too.
691
00:37:30,682 --> 00:37:33,583
Yeah. But I don't like to
read the same stuff you do.
692
00:37:33,585 --> 00:37:35,518
What do you mean?
Why do you say that?
693
00:37:35,520 --> 00:37:37,921
Because I love the Siren books,
and you hate them.
694
00:37:39,790 --> 00:37:41,958
Ah, come on. I don't...
695
00:37:41,960 --> 00:37:43,994
Yeah, I kinda do hate them.
696
00:37:43,996 --> 00:37:47,030
Did I neglect to mention that
my daughter is a huge fan?
697
00:37:47,032 --> 00:37:49,532
-Yeah.
-I read the first
two books twice,
698
00:37:49,534 --> 00:37:51,334
and I'm almost done
with the third.
699
00:37:51,336 --> 00:37:52,802
Yeah. When I got her
the first one,
700
00:37:52,804 --> 00:37:55,739
she carried it around
everywhere with her
for months,
701
00:37:55,741 --> 00:37:57,574
and now the cover's
falling off.
702
00:37:57,576 --> 00:38:03,813
Should probably get her
a new one before she catches
some gross disease from it.
703
00:38:03,815 --> 00:38:05,448
So what do you
like about him?
704
00:38:05,450 --> 00:38:07,617
I don't know.
They just make me happy.
705
00:38:07,619 --> 00:38:10,754
Oh, and I heard that
Perry Quinn might play
Alexander in the movie.
706
00:38:10,756 --> 00:38:12,589
You are not a Perry Quinn fan?
707
00:38:12,591 --> 00:38:15,525
Are you kidding?
He's so awesome.
708
00:38:15,527 --> 00:38:17,661
If he's in the movie,
I will die.
709
00:38:18,629 --> 00:38:19,863
-Hey.
-Sorry.
710
00:38:19,865 --> 00:38:21,298
Careful.
711
00:38:26,404 --> 00:38:29,472
She doesn't usually warm up
to new people as quickly.
What's your secret?
712
00:38:29,474 --> 00:38:32,809
Ah. I'm emotionally stunted.
713
00:38:32,811 --> 00:38:35,612
Some kids gave her hard time
after school today.
714
00:38:35,614 --> 00:38:37,414
Just girl stuff.
No big deal.
715
00:38:37,416 --> 00:38:39,316
Still, you probably
wanted to murder them.
716
00:38:39,318 --> 00:38:42,052
Right, and their
little jerk faces.
717
00:38:42,054 --> 00:38:44,554
She's just so gentle.
I mean, you know bullies,
718
00:38:44,556 --> 00:38:46,656
if they sense any
vulnerability, they...
719
00:38:46,658 --> 00:38:49,626
Oh, I used to get bullied
when I was in middle school.
720
00:38:49,628 --> 00:38:53,330
My dad told me the kid
was picking on me because
he was scared of me.
721
00:38:53,332 --> 00:38:55,999
It made absolutely no sense,
'cause he was twice my size
722
00:38:56,001 --> 00:38:57,767
and just pummeled me weekly.
723
00:39:02,039 --> 00:39:04,040
What?
724
00:39:04,042 --> 00:39:06,009
Yeah, well, there's something.
725
00:39:07,545 --> 00:39:09,446
Sorry. I just...
726
00:39:09,448 --> 00:39:12,015
There's probably no
perfect time to say this,
727
00:39:12,017 --> 00:39:15,018
so I guess I'll just decide
that now is the time to tell you
728
00:39:15,020 --> 00:39:16,886
that her dad died
four years ago.
729
00:39:19,056 --> 00:39:20,623
Uh...
730
00:39:21,792 --> 00:39:23,593
I'm so sorry.
731
00:39:23,595 --> 00:39:25,495
See? And then you
feel sorry for us,
732
00:39:25,497 --> 00:39:27,764
and I tell you
that it's okay,
733
00:39:27,766 --> 00:39:30,700
'cause it was a while ago,
and it really is okay.
734
00:39:30,702 --> 00:39:33,737
You don't believe me,
so I reassure you
735
00:39:33,739 --> 00:39:35,672
and that could take forever.
736
00:39:35,674 --> 00:39:38,708
So can we just skip
past that for now?
737
00:39:39,810 --> 00:39:42,712
Uh, sure. Yeah, for now.
738
00:39:46,884 --> 00:39:48,885
Opening the bookstore
was his dream.
739
00:39:50,621 --> 00:39:52,122
The newspaper was my thing.
740
00:39:53,758 --> 00:39:56,826
We decided that we would work
on his first and then mine.
741
00:39:58,863 --> 00:39:59,896
And then...
742
00:40:02,500 --> 00:40:06,035
I can't abandon
the store, but...
743
00:40:06,037 --> 00:40:09,038
I'm not really ready to give up
on my plans yet either, so...
744
00:40:12,009 --> 00:40:15,678
Now I'm doing both,
and I'm probably not
doing either very well.
745
00:40:17,648 --> 00:40:20,550
Mostly, I just wanna make sure
I'm doing enough for her.
746
00:40:21,819 --> 00:40:23,720
Hey. Come on. You are.
747
00:40:25,122 --> 00:40:27,457
How do you know?
748
00:40:27,459 --> 00:40:29,159
Huh.
749
00:40:29,161 --> 00:40:30,627
Spaghetti Tuesday.
750
00:40:35,699 --> 00:40:37,967
[dramatic music playing]
751
00:40:37,969 --> 00:40:39,702
[Brad] Get that guy.
Get that guy.
752
00:40:39,704 --> 00:40:40,937
Will you relax?
753
00:40:40,939 --> 00:40:42,872
Don't tell me to relax.
You do your job.
754
00:40:42,874 --> 00:40:45,208
You kill that guy,
then I'll relax.
755
00:40:45,210 --> 00:40:48,745
We need new hobbies.
Like real hobbies.
756
00:40:48,747 --> 00:40:50,146
I work at a Credit Union,
757
00:40:50,148 --> 00:40:53,917
and everyday is literally
the same as the day before.
758
00:40:53,919 --> 00:40:55,518
Do not take this
away from me.
759
00:40:55,520 --> 00:40:56,953
All right. All right.
760
00:40:56,955 --> 00:41:00,089
-What happened with Tess?
-Well, still happening.
761
00:41:00,091 --> 00:41:02,725
Ah. Is anything happening?
762
00:41:04,528 --> 00:41:06,830
I don't know.
I think. Maybe.
763
00:41:06,832 --> 00:41:08,765
-[Lucas] Who's Tess?
-Who's this?
764
00:41:08,767 --> 00:41:11,501
That woman that Simon's been
seeing from the bookstore.
765
00:41:11,503 --> 00:41:12,836
Oh, right.
766
00:41:12,838 --> 00:41:14,137
That's just Lucas.
He's cool.
767
00:41:14,139 --> 00:41:15,772
Sorry. Go ahead.
768
00:41:15,774 --> 00:41:17,640
Well, I'm not
seeing her, exactly.
769
00:41:17,642 --> 00:41:19,709
Wait a minute.
Who else did you tell?
770
00:41:19,711 --> 00:41:21,945
-Relax. He's from Pittsburgh.
-[Lucas] Portland.
771
00:41:21,947 --> 00:41:23,780
It's the same thing.
Don't change the subject.
772
00:41:23,782 --> 00:41:25,148
So what's the deal?
773
00:41:25,150 --> 00:41:26,916
All right. When you were single,
774
00:41:26,918 --> 00:41:28,685
did you ever keep something
from someone you met
775
00:41:28,687 --> 00:41:30,053
just because it was
personal or private,
776
00:41:30,055 --> 00:41:32,121
but then when you really
started to get to know her,
777
00:41:32,123 --> 00:41:36,693
so it kind of turned
from a personal secret
into sort of a lie?
778
00:41:36,695 --> 00:41:38,595
Well, look, when I was single,
779
00:41:38,597 --> 00:41:41,498
there was a lot of things
I didn't tell a lot of girls
I went out with.
780
00:41:41,500 --> 00:41:42,866
Yeah, but this is kind of big.
781
00:41:42,868 --> 00:41:45,969
-Well, do I know?
-No.
782
00:41:45,971 --> 00:41:48,638
So tell me, and then I'll tell
you if you should tell her.
783
00:41:48,640 --> 00:41:50,773
I'm not ready
to tell anyone.
784
00:41:50,775 --> 00:41:52,909
-[Lucas] You can tell me.
-[both] Shut up, Lucas!
785
00:41:52,911 --> 00:41:56,079
All right. Just tell her
on your own schedule.
786
00:41:56,081 --> 00:41:57,914
You'll know when
the time's right.
787
00:41:57,916 --> 00:41:59,749
I'll know when I know,
because I'll know.
788
00:41:59,751 --> 00:42:01,150
[Brad] Precisely.
789
00:42:01,152 --> 00:42:02,986
-Hey, Lucas.
-Yeah?
790
00:42:02,988 --> 00:42:06,623
-[Lucas] No. No, wait!
-Yippee ki-yay!
791
00:42:06,625 --> 00:42:08,124
[whistling]
792
00:42:11,996 --> 00:42:13,596
[music playing]
793
00:42:18,002 --> 00:42:20,870
♪ You're a dark sky
794
00:42:20,872 --> 00:42:23,673
♪ Hanging over me
795
00:42:23,675 --> 00:42:27,076
♪ With a thousand silver tears
796
00:42:27,078 --> 00:42:29,312
♪ Ready to fall
797
00:42:29,314 --> 00:42:34,717
♪ At this calm pace,
we head for harm's way ♪
798
00:42:34,719 --> 00:42:39,956
♪ There's no doubts now,
you know that I am taking you ♪
799
00:42:50,801 --> 00:42:52,135
[song continues on car stereo]
800
00:42:52,137 --> 00:42:55,939
♪ Be my thunder going up,
be your rain ♪
801
00:42:57,174 --> 00:42:58,575
-♪ Make your...
-[music stops]
802
00:43:07,152 --> 00:43:11,921
Are you the guy
that wrote the article
about the Merman books?
803
00:43:11,923 --> 00:43:14,290
-Uh, yeah.
-Uh, I thought so.
804
00:43:14,292 --> 00:43:17,060
You just look so familiar.
Great article, by the way.
805
00:43:17,062 --> 00:43:19,262
Well, thanks.
806
00:43:19,264 --> 00:43:23,132
You know, the woman who owns
the newspaper is gonna be
really happy someone read it.
807
00:43:23,134 --> 00:43:26,035
You know, my sister
loves those books,
808
00:43:26,037 --> 00:43:27,870
and I just keep telling her
how awful they are,
809
00:43:27,872 --> 00:43:30,640
so I showed her your article,
and now she hates you.
810
00:43:30,642 --> 00:43:32,241
So nice work.
811
00:43:32,243 --> 00:43:34,811
Thanks, and sorry.
812
00:43:34,813 --> 00:43:35,612
You're welcome,
and she'll be fine.
813
00:43:40,651 --> 00:43:43,620
She really said that?
She said her sister hates you?
814
00:43:43,622 --> 00:43:46,055
Well, let's not forget
the "nice work" part.
815
00:43:46,057 --> 00:43:48,157
That's a reaction.
That's two reactions.
816
00:43:48,159 --> 00:43:50,727
If those two people share it
with two more people,
817
00:43:50,729 --> 00:43:52,695
and those four people
share it with four more people,
818
00:43:52,697 --> 00:43:54,831
that's 16 people
who read the Valley Voice.
819
00:43:54,833 --> 00:43:57,133
Before you know it,
that's like a billion people.
820
00:43:57,135 --> 00:43:58,735
Mmm-hmm.
821
00:43:58,737 --> 00:44:00,670
Hey, babe. How was school?
822
00:44:00,672 --> 00:44:02,639
-Good.
-Math test?
823
00:44:02,641 --> 00:44:04,140
-93.
-Nice.
824
00:44:04,142 --> 00:44:06,976
-This weekend, we mini-golf.
-Yes!
825
00:44:06,978 --> 00:44:10,747
Um, I might have something
that's better than mini-golf.
826
00:44:10,749 --> 00:44:14,250
Well, it just occurred to me
that a nice girl like you
827
00:44:14,252 --> 00:44:16,319
shouldn't have to walk around
with a beat-up book.
828
00:44:16,321 --> 00:44:19,422
It's not classy or hygienic.
829
00:44:19,424 --> 00:44:23,059
And I just happened
to have this
830
00:44:23,061 --> 00:44:26,062
first edition
just hanging around.
831
00:44:26,064 --> 00:44:30,433
so I got to thinking,
"Who do I know that would
get good use out of this?"
832
00:44:30,435 --> 00:44:31,668
Me!
833
00:44:33,137 --> 00:44:34,671
[sniffs] Mmm!
834
00:44:34,673 --> 00:44:35,938
What are you doing, weirdo?
835
00:44:35,940 --> 00:44:37,140
It smells good.
836
00:44:37,142 --> 00:44:38,741
Open the front cover.
837
00:44:41,979 --> 00:44:44,047
[squeals] No way.
No way. No way.
838
00:44:44,049 --> 00:44:45,715
What?
839
00:44:48,919 --> 00:44:52,121
Sally and I have
the same publisher.
I called in a favor.
840
00:44:52,123 --> 00:44:54,057
-Mom, can I go call Avery?
-Sure.
841
00:44:54,059 --> 00:44:57,326
Hang on. Aren't you
forgetting something?
842
00:44:57,328 --> 00:45:00,029
-Thank you. Thank you.
-Oh. You're welcome.
843
00:45:02,933 --> 00:45:05,001
Is that real?
You can tell me.
844
00:45:07,037 --> 00:45:08,905
That's the author's signature.
845
00:45:10,140 --> 00:45:11,274
It's nothing.
846
00:45:14,245 --> 00:45:19,082
never even talked to Andie
before they started reading
the Siren books,
847
00:45:19,084 --> 00:45:21,050
and now they're
joined at the hip.
848
00:45:22,219 --> 00:45:25,755
She used to be so shy and...
849
00:45:27,291 --> 00:45:29,492
closed-off. Um...
850
00:45:29,494 --> 00:45:31,127
I tried everything
I could think of
851
00:45:31,129 --> 00:45:34,063
to break her out of her shell,
and nothing worked.
852
00:45:34,065 --> 00:45:36,466
To be honest with you,
I was getting kind of
worried about her.
853
00:45:36,468 --> 00:45:39,402
And then I got her
that book, and that.
854
00:45:39,404 --> 00:45:41,738
She started talking more.
She made new friends.
855
00:45:41,740 --> 00:45:43,439
She's reading all the time.
856
00:45:43,441 --> 00:45:45,108
Have to take the books
away from her
857
00:45:45,110 --> 00:45:46,909
so that she'll go
to sleep at night.
858
00:45:46,911 --> 00:45:48,077
[chuckles]
859
00:45:48,079 --> 00:45:49,946
Those books have done
so much for her.
860
00:45:51,782 --> 00:45:54,751
So, what you did,
that's something.
861
00:45:58,388 --> 00:46:00,523
-[Andie] No, no, no. It's real.
-Yeah.
862
00:46:02,259 --> 00:46:05,895
Yeah. I'm gonna
read it so many times.
863
00:46:05,897 --> 00:46:08,197
It's probably, like,
my tenth time reading it.
864
00:46:09,366 --> 00:46:11,033
[Simon] What you
guys doing here?
865
00:46:11,035 --> 00:46:12,769
[woman] Simon, we need to talk.
866
00:46:13,904 --> 00:46:15,872
Uh, is there a problem?
867
00:46:15,874 --> 00:46:17,273
Perry Quinn is out.
868
00:46:18,275 --> 00:46:20,376
What? No.
He said he was in.
869
00:46:20,378 --> 00:46:22,979
Now he changed his mind,
and someone has to be
held accountable.
870
00:46:22,981 --> 00:46:26,048
We are suing you for damages.
We have no choice.
871
00:46:26,050 --> 00:46:29,218
-For-For how much?
-Well, more than you have,
I assure you.
872
00:46:29,220 --> 00:46:31,187
Well, you're gonna
have to work it off.
873
00:46:31,189 --> 00:46:33,322
That means more Merman novels.
874
00:46:33,324 --> 00:46:35,224
Well, how many more?
875
00:46:35,226 --> 00:46:37,894
-Well, as many as it takes.
-No. No.
876
00:46:37,896 --> 00:46:39,896
He said he was in.
This isn't my fault.
877
00:46:39,898 --> 00:46:42,532
You're gonna have to
start doing interviews
and book signings.
878
00:46:42,534 --> 00:46:44,901
[clamoring]
879
00:46:44,903 --> 00:46:46,502
You can't do that.
My contract.
880
00:46:46,504 --> 00:46:49,572
You don't have
a contract anymore.
Everyone's gonna know.
881
00:46:49,574 --> 00:46:52,341
You're going to be
the author of Siren
for the rest of your life.
882
00:46:52,343 --> 00:46:54,844
-[man] What's the
matter with you?
-Ew, gross.
883
00:46:54,846 --> 00:46:56,546
-[man] What?
-You can tell me.
884
00:46:56,548 --> 00:46:58,014
[grunts]
885
00:46:58,016 --> 00:46:59,448
[Tess] Are you proud
of your book?
886
00:46:59,450 --> 00:47:02,552
Sally Carmichael!
You are an artist.
887
00:47:02,554 --> 00:47:04,253
[Simon] What do you wanna
be when you grow up?
888
00:47:04,255 --> 00:47:05,454
[man] Hey, what's
your problem, man?
889
00:47:05,456 --> 00:47:06,522
A writer.
890
00:47:06,524 --> 00:47:07,857
[Isambard] An artist.
891
00:47:07,859 --> 00:47:09,492
-[choking]
-[indistinct voices]
892
00:47:13,397 --> 00:47:14,997
[gasps]
893
00:47:14,999 --> 00:47:16,566
[panting]
894
00:47:23,273 --> 00:47:26,976
-[man] What can I get ya?
-[Simon] Hey, I'll have the
chicken avocado, please.
895
00:47:26,978 --> 00:47:28,144
Yeah. That's $8.50.
896
00:47:29,513 --> 00:47:31,113
There you go.
Keep the change.
897
00:47:31,115 --> 00:47:32,415
Thank you.
898
00:47:58,375 --> 00:47:59,575
Simon?
899
00:48:00,644 --> 00:48:02,144
Thanks. Thank you.
900
00:48:02,146 --> 00:48:03,880
Wait a minute.
How did you know my name?
901
00:48:03,882 --> 00:48:06,315
Seriously, you should probably
Google yourself, buddy.
902
00:48:15,058 --> 00:48:16,592
How did you find out about this?
903
00:48:16,594 --> 00:48:18,995
The guy at the food truck
told me to Google myself.
904
00:48:18,997 --> 00:48:20,663
When did I become Google-able?
905
00:48:20,665 --> 00:48:23,266
I submitted the editorial
to the Associated Press.
906
00:48:23,268 --> 00:48:25,001
I didn't really think
anything would come of it,
907
00:48:25,003 --> 00:48:27,670
but it looks like some
papers picked it up.
Big papers.
908
00:48:27,672 --> 00:48:31,207
And tons of blogs.
Simon, you've gone viral.
909
00:48:31,209 --> 00:48:32,975
-This is not good.
-This is great.
910
00:48:32,977 --> 00:48:34,944
What if someone finds out?
What if...
911
00:48:34,946 --> 00:48:38,114
People are reading
something you wrote,
and they're loving it.
912
00:48:38,116 --> 00:48:41,450
"Simon says Siren sucks.
I say Simon sucks."
913
00:48:41,452 --> 00:48:42,952
That's one tweet.
914
00:48:42,954 --> 00:48:45,922
"I hope Simon Hayes dies
and so should you."
915
00:48:45,924 --> 00:48:47,456
You're trending.
916
00:48:47,458 --> 00:48:49,225
-Some of it's gonna
be good. Some isn't.
-[phone vibrates]
917
00:48:49,227 --> 00:48:50,559
I don't even know
what "trending" means.
918
00:48:50,561 --> 00:48:53,062
-[cell phone chimes]
-What is it?
919
00:48:53,064 --> 00:48:56,198
-Uh, it's a drunk text.
-[phone ringing]
920
00:48:57,668 --> 00:48:59,201
Answer it.
921
00:48:59,203 --> 00:49:00,503
Uh, it's an unknown number.
922
00:49:00,505 --> 00:49:02,705
If it's important,
they'll call back. Tess?
923
00:49:02,707 --> 00:49:05,975
Simon's phone.
This is his assistant.
Who I may say is calling?
924
00:49:08,245 --> 00:49:10,646
-Uh-huh.
-Before you say anything...
925
00:49:10,648 --> 00:49:12,982
It's a producer from
Good Things Utah.
926
00:49:15,319 --> 00:49:16,652
Hello?
927
00:49:17,654 --> 00:49:20,189
Uh, yes. This is he.
928
00:49:20,191 --> 00:49:22,558
Um, well, thank you.
929
00:49:22,560 --> 00:49:25,227
Well, that's...
Oh, really?
930
00:49:26,530 --> 00:49:29,332
Uh, can you hold on
for just a second?
931
00:49:29,334 --> 00:49:31,033
They wanna interview me
tomorrow morning.
932
00:49:31,035 --> 00:49:32,735
-What you gonna say?
-I can't. It's TV. I can't.
933
00:49:34,604 --> 00:49:37,707
Can we take a look
at his schedule
and call you back? Thanks.
934
00:49:37,709 --> 00:49:39,608
-No, no, Tess. I can't.
-I know.
935
00:49:39,610 --> 00:49:42,611
I'm just thinking of,
you know...
936
00:49:42,613 --> 00:49:45,081
[sighs] I gotta sit down.
937
00:49:45,083 --> 00:49:46,983
Simon, it's okay.
938
00:49:47,985 --> 00:49:49,485
You don't have to do this.
939
00:49:51,054 --> 00:49:53,222
Wouldn't it be great
publicity for the paper?
940
00:49:53,224 --> 00:49:55,224
Well, yeah, sure,
but that does not matter.
941
00:49:55,226 --> 00:49:57,226
-Of course it matters.
-Hey!
942
00:49:57,228 --> 00:50:00,396
You don't have
to do this. Okay?
943
00:50:01,431 --> 00:50:03,099
Yeah. Okay.
944
00:50:11,141 --> 00:50:12,241
[interviewer] You okay?
945
00:50:13,510 --> 00:50:15,644
-You feeling okay?
-Uh...
946
00:50:15,646 --> 00:50:17,113
You look a little nervous.
947
00:50:17,115 --> 00:50:18,347
Uh, a little.
948
00:50:18,349 --> 00:50:21,217
[cameraman]
And we're back in ten...
949
00:50:21,219 --> 00:50:22,651
-[exhaling]
-[interviewer] Just be yourself.
950
00:50:22,653 --> 00:50:24,186
-You'll be great.
-Hmm.
951
00:50:24,188 --> 00:50:28,391
[cameraman] In four,
three, two...
952
00:50:28,393 --> 00:50:32,461
Yesterday, he was a writer
with only one book to his name
that few people had heard of.
953
00:50:32,463 --> 00:50:36,499
But today, Simon Hayes
is being talked about
all over the country
954
00:50:36,501 --> 00:50:39,702
and across the Internet,
and all because of
a single article.
955
00:50:39,704 --> 00:50:41,704
Simon, thank you
for joining us today.
956
00:50:41,706 --> 00:50:43,672
So, tell us what happened.
957
00:50:43,674 --> 00:50:46,242
Uh... [clears throat]
958
00:50:46,244 --> 00:50:49,712
Well, I wrote an...
959
00:50:49,714 --> 00:50:52,548
[sighs] An article.
Is it hot in here?
960
00:50:52,550 --> 00:50:55,518
[interviewer] Simon,
you're not the first person
to criticize these books,
961
00:50:55,520 --> 00:50:57,386
but you've really hit a nerve.
962
00:50:57,388 --> 00:51:01,223
Do you think that's
because you attacked
the author personally?
963
00:51:01,225 --> 00:51:03,459
-No way.
-[Simon] Uh...
964
00:51:04,594 --> 00:51:06,262
Hmm...
965
00:51:06,264 --> 00:51:08,397
Can you get Simon
some water?
966
00:51:08,399 --> 00:51:10,099
So let's take a look
at your title.
967
00:51:10,101 --> 00:51:13,702
The New York Times
Number One Best Sellout.
968
00:51:13,704 --> 00:51:16,806
-Mmm-hmm.
-That's a pretty
personal attack, isn't it?
969
00:51:17,841 --> 00:51:21,410
It was... Shakespeare.
970
00:51:21,412 --> 00:51:23,679
-What?
-Shakespeare.
971
00:51:23,681 --> 00:51:26,482
Okay, so I'm not
a Sally fan myself,
972
00:51:26,484 --> 00:51:28,651
but a lot of people
out there really love her.
973
00:51:28,653 --> 00:51:30,219
Well, I love Sally Carmichael.
974
00:51:30,221 --> 00:51:33,189
Great. And you seem intent
on provoking these fans.
975
00:51:33,191 --> 00:51:36,258
Your article implies
you understand exactly
how Sally Carmichael
976
00:51:36,260 --> 00:51:40,362
manipulates her audience
and why, that's pretty bold.
977
00:51:40,364 --> 00:51:45,167
Uh, you know,
she's an empty shell.
Mmm-hmm.
978
00:51:45,169 --> 00:51:52,374
And just 400 years of
just copies. Just copies.
979
00:51:52,376 --> 00:51:55,878
I'm sorry. I'm just looking
at several people behind
the cameras,
980
00:51:55,880 --> 00:51:58,714
including our producer,
who disagree with you.
981
00:51:58,716 --> 00:52:02,585
Looks like we have lot of
Sally Carmichael fans
in the studio today.
982
00:52:02,587 --> 00:52:04,687
-[retching]
-Oh. Whoa!
983
00:52:04,689 --> 00:52:06,388
Simon, thanks for
being here today.
984
00:52:06,390 --> 00:52:07,823
I hope we weren't
too rough on you.
985
00:52:07,825 --> 00:52:09,825
-And now let's turn
to the weather...
-[Simon coughing]
986
00:52:09,827 --> 00:52:12,628
...where, here, we might
have a chance of moisture.
987
00:52:12,630 --> 00:52:14,130
[Simon retches]
988
00:52:16,333 --> 00:52:18,634
[panting]
989
00:52:22,205 --> 00:52:24,173
[phone vibrating]
990
00:52:34,751 --> 00:52:37,353
-Hello?
-Simon, it's Phillip.
991
00:52:37,355 --> 00:52:40,890
I know who you are, Phillip.
What can I do for you?
992
00:52:40,892 --> 00:52:43,492
Perry wants to know
why you haven't
responded to his text.
993
00:52:45,328 --> 00:52:47,496
He only sent one text.
994
00:52:47,498 --> 00:52:49,832
Right. And he wants to know
why you haven't responded to it.
995
00:52:50,834 --> 00:52:53,202
All it said was,
"You dog."
996
00:52:53,204 --> 00:52:56,539
And he wants to know why
you haven't responded to it.
997
00:53:00,644 --> 00:53:01,911
[sighs]
998
00:53:03,380 --> 00:53:04,713
[Phillip] Simon?
999
00:53:14,591 --> 00:53:19,195
[laughing] You.
You, man, you.
1000
00:53:19,197 --> 00:53:21,397
"I don't have anything
planned, I swear."
1001
00:53:21,399 --> 00:53:24,233
Except for puking
on live television.
1002
00:53:24,235 --> 00:53:27,603
No, I think you
accidentally booked
the live TV appearance.
1003
00:53:27,605 --> 00:53:29,805
Man, it looked so real.
1004
00:53:29,807 --> 00:53:31,974
-It was real.
-Everything about you
is real, man.
1005
00:53:31,976 --> 00:53:34,877
On live TV. I wish
I'd have thought of that.
1006
00:53:34,879 --> 00:53:36,478
You want to puke
on live TV?
1007
00:53:36,480 --> 00:53:39,281
No, man,
that's your thing.
1008
00:53:39,283 --> 00:53:41,550
Now no one else
can do that.
1009
00:53:41,552 --> 00:53:43,852
You own that.
1010
00:53:43,854 --> 00:53:47,356
You own it. I mean,
I've done a million
talk shows and...
1011
00:53:47,358 --> 00:53:49,325
I've done anything memorable.
1012
00:53:49,327 --> 00:53:52,895
But you got your shot,
and you took it, man.
1013
00:53:52,897 --> 00:53:54,964
On live TV.
So they can't stop it.
1014
00:53:54,966 --> 00:53:56,865
It's all over YouTube.
1015
00:53:56,867 --> 00:54:02,404
Simes, you did something
that will last forever.
1016
00:54:02,406 --> 00:54:03,772
I bow to your brilliance.
1017
00:54:03,774 --> 00:54:05,474
-Namaste.
-Don't do that.
Why you doing that?
1018
00:54:05,476 --> 00:54:08,744
-Stop it.
-No. So what's next?
Tell me.
1019
00:54:08,746 --> 00:54:10,246
You signed your
movie deal, right?
1020
00:54:10,248 --> 00:54:11,580
-Oh, you better
believe I did.
-Great.
1021
00:54:11,582 --> 00:54:13,349
-Yeah.
-That makes me
very happy.
1022
00:54:13,351 --> 00:54:15,484
You know, you've no idea
how that makes me feel.
1023
00:54:17,587 --> 00:54:19,755
So, what's next?
1024
00:54:21,291 --> 00:54:23,392
What's next?
1025
00:54:23,394 --> 00:54:24,827
-Okay, you just make sure...
-Yeah.
1026
00:54:24,829 --> 00:54:26,595
-...that you do that movie...
-Yeah.
1027
00:54:26,597 --> 00:54:29,732
...and when the next thing
happens, you'll know.
1028
00:54:31,635 --> 00:54:33,402
How will I know?
1029
00:54:35,272 --> 00:54:37,940
You'll know when you know,
because you'll know.
1030
00:54:38,875 --> 00:54:40,509
[laughs]
1031
00:54:40,511 --> 00:54:42,444
We're gonna make history, man.
1032
00:54:42,446 --> 00:54:46,048
Except we won't.
Because no one knows
I'm Sally Carmichael.
1033
00:54:46,050 --> 00:54:47,549
-Right. Right. Of course.
-Right.
1034
00:54:47,551 --> 00:54:49,818
Of course. Yeah. Hmm.
1035
00:54:51,955 --> 00:54:53,355
-Perry?
-Hmm?
1036
00:54:54,692 --> 00:54:58,961
I mean, you know,
maybe, maybe, eventually,
historically, in the future?
1037
00:54:58,963 --> 00:55:00,296
-No, no, no.
-When we're dead.
1038
00:55:00,298 --> 00:55:01,530
-In a time capsule.
-Not eventually.
1039
00:55:01,532 --> 00:55:05,434
-There will be aliens coming.
-No. My publishers signed
a contract.
1040
00:55:05,436 --> 00:55:07,770
-You signed a contract.
-I've signed a lot of contracts.
1041
00:55:07,772 --> 00:55:09,838
I've been sued before.
What's the worse
that could happen?
1042
00:55:10,874 --> 00:55:13,575
-Was...
-Huh. Yeah.
1043
00:55:13,577 --> 00:55:14,877
[laughs]
1044
00:55:14,879 --> 00:55:16,745
Got you.
I'm kidding.
1045
00:55:16,747 --> 00:55:18,781
Okay? We're in
this together, man.
1046
00:55:18,783 --> 00:55:20,649
Come on. You can
count on me, son.
1047
00:55:20,651 --> 00:55:23,485
You can count on me.
Give me a hug. Come on.
I love you, bro.
1048
00:55:23,487 --> 00:55:26,422
Yeah? It's gonna be good.
We can do this.
1049
00:55:26,424 --> 00:55:28,791
We can do this.
It's gonna be good.
1050
00:55:28,793 --> 00:55:30,759
Good. Good. Good. Huh?
1051
00:55:30,761 --> 00:55:32,828
...studio today.
-[retching]
1052
00:55:32,830 --> 00:55:34,029
Oh. Whoa.
1053
00:55:37,067 --> 00:55:38,367
It could've been worse.
1054
00:55:40,070 --> 00:55:41,670
How?
1055
00:55:41,672 --> 00:55:43,706
You could've had a stroke.
1056
00:55:46,643 --> 00:55:48,077
That worse?
1057
00:55:51,348 --> 00:55:52,681
What?
1058
00:55:54,684 --> 00:55:56,518
How did all this happen?
1059
00:55:58,355 --> 00:55:59,388
Dumb luck.
1060
00:56:00,557 --> 00:56:03,125
Dumb, stupid, crazy luck.
1061
00:56:10,133 --> 00:56:11,600
-Hey. Hi.
-Hey!
1062
00:56:11,602 --> 00:56:13,969
Hi. School. How was it?
1063
00:56:13,971 --> 00:56:16,105
Good. Hey, Simon.
1064
00:56:16,107 --> 00:56:17,506
Oh. Hey, kiddo.
1065
00:56:17,508 --> 00:56:18,874
Mom, you almost ready?
1066
00:56:20,009 --> 00:56:21,877
For what?
1067
00:56:21,879 --> 00:56:23,412
For soccer.
It's our day.
1068
00:56:23,414 --> 00:56:25,114
We're supposed to pick
Avery up in ten minutes.
1069
00:56:25,116 --> 00:56:28,517
Right. Go get changed.
I'll go get my purse.
1070
00:56:34,057 --> 00:56:37,760
[man on TV] ...accepted an
unwarranted concealment
of pertinent facts...
1071
00:56:37,762 --> 00:56:39,094
-Fire up.
-Therm here,
1072
00:56:39,096 --> 00:56:41,397
your Quest Star Gas
energy-wise guy.
1073
00:56:41,399 --> 00:56:43,465
[Perry] A lot of people
were hesitant about
1074
00:56:43,467 --> 00:56:45,834
an actor of my stature
releasing a country album.
1075
00:56:45,836 --> 00:56:49,505
Well, you're definitely
an artist that's known
for taking chances.
1076
00:56:49,507 --> 00:56:51,573
I mean, it's just been confirmed
1077
00:56:51,575 --> 00:56:55,844
that you'll be playing
Alexander in the big
Siren movie adaptation.
1078
00:56:55,846 --> 00:56:56,979
That's right.
1079
00:56:56,981 --> 00:56:58,881
Alexander the Merman.
1080
00:56:58,883 --> 00:57:01,016
Alexander the Merman.
1081
00:57:01,018 --> 00:57:03,852
Amazing. I, for one,
can't wait to see you in a fin.
1082
00:57:03,854 --> 00:57:07,122
-But what I really
wanna know...
-Mmm-hmm.
1083
00:57:07,124 --> 00:57:09,992
-...is the same thing
everybody wants to know.
-Mmm-hmm.
1084
00:57:09,994 --> 00:57:11,894
Have you met Sally Carmichael?
1085
00:57:12,896 --> 00:57:15,597
-I've met Sally.
-Amazing.
1086
00:57:15,599 --> 00:57:17,766
What's she like?
What does she look like?
1087
00:57:17,768 --> 00:57:19,501
Tell me everything.
1088
00:57:19,503 --> 00:57:22,070
Well, you know,
she's a lot different
than you'd expect.
1089
00:57:22,072 --> 00:57:23,639
Yeah? How so?
1090
00:57:23,641 --> 00:57:26,575
Well, for one,
who says she's a she?
1091
00:57:26,577 --> 00:57:28,010
[chuckles]
1092
00:57:28,012 --> 00:57:31,113
Wait. Are you saying that
Sally Carmichael is a man?
1093
00:57:31,115 --> 00:57:33,749
-What you doing?
-Maybe I said too much.
1094
00:57:33,751 --> 00:57:37,820
No. No, you can't drop
something like that on us
and leave us hanging.
1095
00:57:37,822 --> 00:57:39,955
-No, I can, really.
-No, you can't.
1096
00:57:39,957 --> 00:57:42,825
-[Perry] Okay. Okay. Okay.
-Don't you dare.
1097
00:57:42,827 --> 00:57:46,862
Maybe she's a he.
Maybe not. How's that?
1098
00:57:48,064 --> 00:57:52,100
If Sally Carmichael
is a man, say nothing.
1099
00:57:52,102 --> 00:57:56,572
Perry, stop. Stop. Perry?
1100
00:57:57,640 --> 00:57:58,874
-[man] I knew it.
-[Simon] But you--
1101
00:57:58,876 --> 00:58:02,044
Heard it? Or didn't
hear it here first.
1102
00:58:02,046 --> 00:58:03,645
-Perry Quinn...
-Perry...
1103
00:58:03,647 --> 00:58:06,615
...says Sally Carmichael
is a man.
1104
00:58:06,617 --> 00:58:08,684
-Is he someone we know?
-No. No. No.
1105
00:58:08,686 --> 00:58:11,653
-I... I can't.
-Perry, you can.
1106
00:58:11,655 --> 00:58:13,155
-[Simon] No, you can't.
-No. I really can't.
1107
00:58:13,157 --> 00:58:15,724
You have to.
You have to.
1108
00:58:15,726 --> 00:58:17,659
No. No. No. No.
1109
00:58:17,661 --> 00:58:20,629
You can make history
right here, right now.
1110
00:58:20,631 --> 00:58:23,732
-This is huge.
-Oh, shucks, man.
1111
00:58:23,734 --> 00:58:25,601
-Come on, Perry.
-Perry?
1112
00:58:25,603 --> 00:58:28,937
Okay. Okay.
You wanna know who it is?
1113
00:58:28,939 --> 00:58:30,706
-Yes.
-No.
1114
00:58:30,708 --> 00:58:32,741
-No.
-You really wanna
know who it is?
1115
00:58:32,743 --> 00:58:34,643
-Yes!
-No!
1116
00:58:34,645 --> 00:58:39,214
It is Simon Hayes.
1117
00:58:39,216 --> 00:58:41,717
[distorted] No!
1118
00:58:47,991 --> 00:58:49,558
The guy who
wrote the article?
1119
00:58:49,560 --> 00:58:51,260
-[phone ringing]
-The very same.
1120
00:58:51,262 --> 00:58:54,830
[exclaiming]
This is amazing.
1121
00:58:54,832 --> 00:58:57,699
Hold on. So, you're saying
that Simon Hayes...
1122
00:58:57,701 --> 00:59:00,769
-Hello?
-[man] Is this Simon Hayes?
1123
00:59:00,771 --> 00:59:02,604
-Yes.
-Hi, Simon.
1124
00:59:02,606 --> 00:59:04,907
My name is Dave Sinon
with Buzz magazine.
1125
00:59:04,909 --> 00:59:07,809
I'm just calling to confirm
the statement made by
Perry Quinn.
1126
00:59:07,811 --> 00:59:10,078
Is it true that
you're Sally Carmichael?
1127
00:59:10,080 --> 00:59:13,549
[interviewer] But, you know,
he's not a girl. He's a boy.
1128
00:59:13,551 --> 00:59:15,717
[alarm beeping]
1129
00:59:23,893 --> 00:59:24,927
Hi.
1130
00:59:26,729 --> 00:59:30,632
I've had 17 reporters call me
in the last half hour.
1131
00:59:30,634 --> 00:59:32,234
17.
1132
00:59:32,236 --> 00:59:34,703
I stopped answering
after the first nine or so,
1133
00:59:34,705 --> 00:59:36,705
because they all asked me
the same question.
1134
00:59:38,308 --> 00:59:40,842
Am I Sally Carmichael?
1135
00:59:40,844 --> 00:59:43,679
Of course, you can't be.
1136
00:59:43,681 --> 00:59:45,948
Right? Because that's
ridiculous, right?
1137
00:59:47,250 --> 00:59:50,819
-Tess, I was--
-Using me for
a publicity stunt?
1138
00:59:50,821 --> 00:59:52,988
No. No. Not ever.
1139
00:59:52,990 --> 00:59:55,223
Then you're not
Sally Carmichael.
1140
00:59:55,225 --> 00:59:57,659
You don't know Perry Quinn,
and the two of you haven't
been planning this whole thing.
1141
00:59:57,661 --> 01:00:00,796
No. But... Yes. I mean...
1142
01:00:00,798 --> 01:00:04,333
No. Yes.
I am Sally Carmichael,
1143
01:00:04,335 --> 01:00:07,336
and yes, I have been meeting
with Perry about the movie,
1144
01:00:07,338 --> 01:00:09,605
and yes, I have been keeping
all of this from you.
1145
01:00:09,607 --> 01:00:11,306
But it was never
a publicity stunt.
1146
01:00:11,308 --> 01:00:13,742
And I was never taking
advantage of you. I swear.
1147
01:00:13,744 --> 01:00:15,777
I mean, why?
1148
01:00:15,779 --> 01:00:18,380
Why would you do all of this?
Why would you do any of it?
1149
01:00:19,882 --> 01:00:23,318
I mean, I wrote the article
because you asked me to.
1150
01:00:23,320 --> 01:00:25,253
And the rest just happened.
1151
01:00:27,924 --> 01:00:31,326
Just, um, stupid,
crazy luck.
1152
01:00:31,328 --> 01:00:34,329
You wrote that article.
You watched me publish it.
1153
01:00:34,331 --> 01:00:36,131
You watched it go viral.
1154
01:00:36,133 --> 01:00:38,133
You went on that talk show
to promote it.
1155
01:00:38,135 --> 01:00:40,335
And then...
1156
01:00:40,337 --> 01:00:42,337
And then you kissed me
on that couch,
1157
01:00:42,339 --> 01:00:44,840
and at no point
during all of that
did it occur to you
1158
01:00:44,842 --> 01:00:47,643
to say to me, "By the way
I'm Sally Carmichael."
1159
01:00:47,645 --> 01:00:49,244
I've never told anyone
I'm Sally Carmichael.
1160
01:00:49,246 --> 01:00:51,947
-You told Perry Quinn.
-But that's different.
I had to.
1161
01:00:51,949 --> 01:00:54,349
So is there anything
you've told me
that isn't a lie?
1162
01:00:54,351 --> 01:00:56,852
Yes. Yes. Everything.
1163
01:00:56,854 --> 01:00:59,187
Except all of this.
1164
01:00:59,189 --> 01:01:04,059
I know the newspaper
isn't important. I get that.
1165
01:01:04,061 --> 01:01:07,029
-But it is really
important to me.
-It's important to me, too.
1166
01:01:07,031 --> 01:01:10,332
Then you had to have
known how stupid all of
this would make me look.
1167
01:01:10,334 --> 01:01:12,300
I didn't know Perry
was going to do that.
1168
01:01:13,269 --> 01:01:14,770
Tess?
1169
01:01:15,905 --> 01:01:19,007
I'm ashamed of
Sally Carmichael.
1170
01:01:19,009 --> 01:01:22,210
I never wanted
anyone to know I'm Sally,
because I don't wanna be Sally.
1171
01:01:25,848 --> 01:01:28,250
You signed that book
for Andie, didn't you?
1172
01:01:29,819 --> 01:01:31,219
And you let her
think it was real.
1173
01:01:32,755 --> 01:01:34,823
It is real.
1174
01:01:34,825 --> 01:01:36,425
She's just a kid.
1175
01:01:36,427 --> 01:01:38,794
Simon, what's the
matter with you?
1176
01:01:42,065 --> 01:01:43,765
I need you to leave.
1177
01:01:45,835 --> 01:01:48,270
Yeah. Okay.
1178
01:01:48,272 --> 01:01:51,940
-Just hear me out.
-No. I can't. I can't do this.
It's too much.
1179
01:01:53,042 --> 01:01:55,744
Please. Just... Just leave.
1180
01:02:18,901 --> 01:02:20,502
-Can I help you?
-Oh. Hey, Simon.
1181
01:02:20,504 --> 01:02:22,738
I'm with the Herald.
I was hoping I could
speak with you about--
1182
01:02:22,740 --> 01:02:24,306
No.
1183
01:02:24,308 --> 01:02:26,141
Hey, it's a good chance for you
to tell your side of the story.
1184
01:02:44,393 --> 01:02:46,128
[indistinct voices]
1185
01:02:57,507 --> 01:02:59,007
[phone chiming]
1186
01:03:02,078 --> 01:03:03,912
[sighs]
1187
01:03:07,917 --> 01:03:10,118
[Tess] This is Tess Perkins.
Please leave a message.
1188
01:03:32,308 --> 01:03:33,809
Okay.
1189
01:03:33,811 --> 01:03:35,977
Oh. Hey, good girl.
Hey, it's a good girl.
1190
01:03:35,979 --> 01:03:37,412
That's a good-- No. No!
1191
01:03:37,414 --> 01:03:39,047
-[dog barking]
-That's a bad girl.
1192
01:03:39,049 --> 01:03:41,383
Bad girl. Ah. Ah!
1193
01:03:41,385 --> 01:03:44,085
-Bad girl. Ah. Come on.
-[girl screaming] Mommy!
1194
01:03:44,087 --> 01:03:47,455
[Simon] It's okay. It's okay.
It's testing. It's fine. Ow!
1195
01:03:47,457 --> 01:03:50,025
-[dog continues barking]
-Stop that. Ahhh!
1196
01:03:50,027 --> 01:03:51,893
Ah. Okay.
1197
01:03:53,896 --> 01:03:56,064
[groans]
1198
01:03:56,066 --> 01:03:57,599
[newscaster] According
to Perry Quinn,
1199
01:03:57,601 --> 01:04:00,235
Simon's the real author
of the series.
1200
01:04:00,237 --> 01:04:02,070
[woman] So the whole
thing's a big joke?
1201
01:04:02,072 --> 01:04:03,572
[man] Well, I could
have told you that.
1202
01:04:03,574 --> 01:04:05,941
[newscaster]
We're still figuring
all of this out,
1203
01:04:05,943 --> 01:04:10,345
but it looks like Simon Hayes
is both the guy who trashed
Sally Carmichael,
1204
01:04:10,347 --> 01:04:13,081
-and Sally Carmichael.
-[man] That's actually
pretty hilarious.
1205
01:04:13,083 --> 01:04:15,083
[newscaster] Well, the fans
of the series aren't laughing.
1206
01:04:15,085 --> 01:04:17,452
I mean, some of them say
they're gonna boycott the movie.
1207
01:04:17,454 --> 01:04:19,855
There is even
an online petition
1208
01:04:19,857 --> 01:04:22,190
to boycott the Valley Voice,
the paper that published--
1209
01:04:22,192 --> 01:04:26,528
[woman] Seeing here
that the petition appeared
online last night,
1210
01:04:26,530 --> 01:04:29,164
and it's already gotten
over 10,000 signatures.
1211
01:04:29,166 --> 01:04:31,933
[newscaster] Wow. I didn't
know that many people
even read the Voice.
1212
01:04:31,935 --> 01:04:34,269
[man] I don't think they did
before Simon Hayes showed up,
1213
01:04:34,271 --> 01:04:36,638
and I doubt that many ever
are gonna read it again.
1214
01:04:37,907 --> 01:04:39,507
Hi. I need to see Perry.
1215
01:04:39,509 --> 01:04:41,576
Oh, I'm sorry.
There's no one here
under that name.
1216
01:04:41,578 --> 01:04:44,479
No. No. Isambard.
Whatever the password is.
1217
01:04:44,481 --> 01:04:46,014
Thanks.
1218
01:04:46,016 --> 01:04:47,582
Unfortunately, he's requested
not to be disturbed.
1219
01:04:47,584 --> 01:04:50,151
but if you'd like me
to leave a message...
1220
01:04:50,153 --> 01:04:51,920
Hey. Hey!
1221
01:04:51,922 --> 01:04:53,388
You can't just
go up there.
1222
01:04:54,323 --> 01:04:55,624
Stop me.
1223
01:05:10,506 --> 01:05:13,308
Hi, I'm Phillip.
Perry Quinn's
executive assistant.
1224
01:05:16,178 --> 01:05:18,446
Ah. Okay, before you
say anything,
1225
01:05:18,448 --> 01:05:20,215
I can see you're upset.
1226
01:05:20,217 --> 01:05:23,285
But I want you to know
I think it's totally
understandable.
1227
01:05:23,287 --> 01:05:26,221
-What, you think?
-Whoa, whoa, whoa. Whoa.
1228
01:05:26,223 --> 01:05:29,291
Oh, I can sense your
negative energy, man.
1229
01:05:29,293 --> 01:05:32,494
There's no reason
why we can't have
a positive dialogue, you know.
1230
01:05:32,496 --> 01:05:34,262
I said some things.
You said some things.
1231
01:05:34,264 --> 01:05:36,464
No, you said some things.
I didn't say anything.
1232
01:05:36,466 --> 01:05:38,500
You're right.
But it was gonna
come out eventually.
1233
01:05:38,502 --> 01:05:41,002
-How?
-In one way or another.
1234
01:05:41,004 --> 01:05:43,238
It's all right, Vinny.
You can let him go.
1235
01:05:43,240 --> 01:05:46,241
You know what? No.
It was one way. You.
1236
01:05:46,243 --> 01:05:49,010
Now I realize you live
in this little bubble
1237
01:05:49,012 --> 01:05:51,646
where none of your actions
have any real consequences,
1238
01:05:51,648 --> 01:05:53,715
but they do affect other people.
1239
01:05:53,717 --> 01:05:55,984
Hey. So the cat's out of
the bag. You should be happy.
1240
01:05:55,986 --> 01:05:58,987
-I did you a favor.
-How? How is this a favor?
1241
01:05:58,989 --> 01:06:01,556
Well, you know, you can
finally start enjoying this.
Come on, Simes.
1242
01:06:01,558 --> 01:06:03,491
This is fun.
1243
01:06:03,493 --> 01:06:06,328
I don't know if you've noticed,
but being famous
is kind of awesome.
1244
01:06:06,330 --> 01:06:10,031
Oh, I'm not famous.
I'm universally hated.
1245
01:06:10,033 --> 01:06:13,268
Oh, I get that. I get that.
You know, you should've seen
how the nerds freaked out
1246
01:06:13,270 --> 01:06:15,236
when we tried to
reboot Quantum Leap.
1247
01:06:15,238 --> 01:06:17,172
It'll pass. I promise.
1248
01:06:17,174 --> 01:06:18,506
What about Tess?
1249
01:06:19,642 --> 01:06:21,576
What's Tess?
1250
01:06:21,578 --> 01:06:25,513
Tess is the woman
who owns the newspaper
that ran the editorial.
1251
01:06:25,515 --> 01:06:28,049
She's a good person.
She doesn't deserve
any of this.
1252
01:06:28,051 --> 01:06:30,986
-Look, we all
played our part.
-No. She didn't know.
1253
01:06:30,988 --> 01:06:32,721
-She didn't know?
-No.
1254
01:06:32,723 --> 01:06:34,422
And now she thinks
I exploited her
1255
01:06:34,424 --> 01:06:36,725
and made a joke
out of her newspaper.
1256
01:06:36,727 --> 01:06:38,760
-You kinda did, right?
-Well, yeah.
1257
01:06:38,762 --> 01:06:41,696
But I was gonna tell her
and...
1258
01:06:41,698 --> 01:06:44,132
We were talking about
what you did.
1259
01:06:45,234 --> 01:06:47,002
I think I'm falling
in love with her.
1260
01:06:47,004 --> 01:06:49,404
And now she thinks I'm a liar,
because I'm a liar.
1261
01:06:49,406 --> 01:06:52,507
Oh, that's rough.
I'm sorry, man.
1262
01:06:55,778 --> 01:06:57,679
It's gonna be all right. So...
1263
01:06:59,415 --> 01:07:01,349
What's next?
1264
01:07:01,351 --> 01:07:04,753
I wanna go back
to my old life where
no one knew who I was.
1265
01:07:04,755 --> 01:07:07,188
-But I can't do that, can I?
-You certainly can.
1266
01:07:07,190 --> 01:07:08,757
-Hmm.
-We can fix this.
1267
01:07:08,759 --> 01:07:11,026
-Great. How?
-I don't know.
1268
01:07:11,028 --> 01:07:14,529
But it's exciting, right?
It's a challenge.
1269
01:07:14,531 --> 01:07:16,531
Did you know, in Japan,
1270
01:07:16,533 --> 01:07:20,101
they use the same word
for "crisis" and "opportunity"?
1271
01:07:20,103 --> 01:07:23,505
Or maybe it's in China,
or ancient...
Let me find out.
1272
01:07:23,507 --> 01:07:26,174
I'm going home.
1273
01:07:26,176 --> 01:07:29,511
Simes, hey, you know,
they told me I couldn't
make a movie
1274
01:07:29,513 --> 01:07:32,247
where the detective
and the serial killer
were the same person.
1275
01:07:32,249 --> 01:07:34,115
And I think we know
how that turned out.
1276
01:07:34,117 --> 01:07:37,385
$400 million domestic.
$1.2 billion worldwide.
1277
01:07:37,387 --> 01:07:40,822
This is nothing.
Simes, we got this.
Come on.
1278
01:07:40,824 --> 01:07:44,092
[reporter] The only
public footage available
of Simon Hayes
1279
01:07:44,094 --> 01:07:48,530
since the announcement
last night was caught outside
of Hayes' house, this morning.
1280
01:07:48,532 --> 01:07:50,365
[man] Let's see that again.
1281
01:07:50,367 --> 01:07:51,599
-Ah.
-Ooh.
1282
01:07:51,601 --> 01:07:53,668
Guys, I'm so sorry.
1283
01:07:53,670 --> 01:07:56,337
I'm sorry I didn't
tell you this before this,
but you understand why, right?
1284
01:07:56,339 --> 01:07:58,840
-Right?
-Sure, of course.
I understand.
1285
01:07:58,842 --> 01:08:01,676
You know, it is
a little weird,
1286
01:08:01,678 --> 01:08:04,446
this whole time,
and we never knew.
1287
01:08:04,448 --> 01:08:05,847
What are you gonna do now?
1288
01:08:05,849 --> 01:08:08,116
I don't know.
What can I do?
1289
01:08:08,118 --> 01:08:11,286
So this whole time
I could've been telling people
that I know Sally Carmichael?
1290
01:08:11,288 --> 01:08:12,554
This whole time?
1291
01:08:12,556 --> 01:08:14,589
There's big question
nobody is addressing.
1292
01:08:14,591 --> 01:08:17,392
I'm just gonna
put it out there.
1293
01:08:17,394 --> 01:08:19,461
You gotta be, like,
super-rich, right?
1294
01:08:19,463 --> 01:08:22,497
-Brad!
-What've you been doing
with all that money?
1295
01:08:22,499 --> 01:08:25,834
You couldn't have bought
yourself a bigger house?
A nicer car? Something?
1296
01:08:25,836 --> 01:08:29,370
And you know Perry Quinn?
You guys are, like, friends?
1297
01:08:29,372 --> 01:08:32,173
Sort of. At least, I think
he thinks so. I don't--
1298
01:08:32,175 --> 01:08:35,143
Do you think you could
get him to, like, pick me up
after school sometime,
1299
01:08:35,145 --> 01:08:37,846
just once, so I could
blow everyone's minds?
1300
01:08:37,848 --> 01:08:40,248
I'm sorry. I've just got to
circle back around here.
1301
01:08:41,184 --> 01:08:46,187
How much money are we
talking about here, man?
Just ballpark it for me.
1302
01:08:49,258 --> 01:08:50,725
It... Uh...
1303
01:08:53,295 --> 01:08:54,863
[school bell rings]
1304
01:09:16,185 --> 01:09:18,253
I saw your dad
on the street yesterday.
1305
01:09:18,255 --> 01:09:20,421
I gave him a dollar
and said hi for you.
1306
01:09:23,159 --> 01:09:24,659
Scored.
1307
01:09:24,661 --> 01:09:26,427
Oh, my.
1308
01:09:28,197 --> 01:09:29,697
Excuse me, girls.
1309
01:09:32,434 --> 01:09:35,436
I'm looking for Andie Perkins.
One of you know her?
1310
01:09:39,375 --> 01:09:40,408
Thanks.
1311
01:09:41,343 --> 01:09:42,377
Andie?
1312
01:09:43,379 --> 01:09:44,412
Andie?
1313
01:09:49,351 --> 01:09:50,685
Hey.
1314
01:09:52,188 --> 01:09:53,454
I'm Perry.
1315
01:09:55,257 --> 01:09:56,291
Do you have a second?
1316
01:09:57,226 --> 01:09:58,259
Yeah?
1317
01:10:01,463 --> 01:10:02,697
[phone chimes]
1318
01:10:06,435 --> 01:10:07,468
What?
1319
01:10:14,476 --> 01:10:17,245
[man] It's smart to do
simple things. Huh.
1320
01:10:17,247 --> 01:10:20,215
This is the first public
statement from Simon Hayes
1321
01:10:20,217 --> 01:10:23,851
since the now-famous
allegation that
he's the real author
1322
01:10:23,853 --> 01:10:25,820
of the popular Siren franchise.
1323
01:10:33,362 --> 01:10:34,829
[exhales]
1324
01:10:37,833 --> 01:10:38,900
[clamoring]
1325
01:10:52,381 --> 01:10:55,416
And it looks like Simon Hayes
is stepping up to the
microphones now.
1326
01:11:01,490 --> 01:11:02,724
Uh...
1327
01:11:04,526 --> 01:11:05,560
Hello.
1328
01:11:08,464 --> 01:11:11,032
So, um...
[clears throat]
1329
01:11:12,334 --> 01:11:15,003
Uh... I'm...
1330
01:11:17,640 --> 01:11:20,041
Yeah. I'm...
1331
01:11:20,043 --> 01:11:22,577
I'm Sally Carmichael.
1332
01:11:22,579 --> 01:11:25,847
And I wrote the Siren novels.
1333
01:11:27,516 --> 01:11:29,350
For the fans of the books...
1334
01:11:29,352 --> 01:11:33,554
-It's Perry Quinn.
-...I just want to say,
I've been a real jerk,
1335
01:11:33,556 --> 01:11:36,591
and I'm sorry.
1336
01:11:36,593 --> 01:11:39,594
What a guy.
What a guy.
1337
01:11:39,596 --> 01:11:45,366
[Simon] I... Sally Carmichael
is my way of protecting
my privacy, and it...
1338
01:11:46,468 --> 01:11:48,770
It grew into something else.
1339
01:11:48,772 --> 01:11:50,905
Wow.
1340
01:11:50,907 --> 01:11:52,073
[Simon] Um...
1341
01:11:53,709 --> 01:11:55,310
Thank you.
1342
01:11:56,478 --> 01:11:57,845
Uh...
1343
01:11:57,847 --> 01:12:00,748
This way. [muttering]
1344
01:12:00,750 --> 01:12:03,384
I just wanna make
one thing clear.
1345
01:12:03,386 --> 01:12:05,920
No one at the Valley Voice,
1346
01:12:07,556 --> 01:12:10,558
the newspaper that
printed my editorial,
1347
01:12:10,560 --> 01:12:16,631
was a part of any deception
or had anything to do
with any of this.
1348
01:12:16,633 --> 01:12:18,800
Really good.
1349
01:12:18,802 --> 01:12:22,470
Please don't punish the paper
for something that I did.
1350
01:12:22,472 --> 01:12:23,504
Okay.
1351
01:12:24,840 --> 01:12:28,409
Tess Perkins,
the owner of the Valley Voice,
1352
01:12:28,411 --> 01:12:31,112
she didn't even know
who I really was.
1353
01:12:31,114 --> 01:12:32,880
I wasn't honest with her.
1354
01:12:32,882 --> 01:12:37,051
At the same time,
I was deceiving everyone else.
1355
01:12:40,656 --> 01:12:43,624
I don't know if the fans
are ever gonna forgive me.
1356
01:12:43,626 --> 01:12:47,662
And, frankly,
I don't expect them to.
1357
01:12:47,664 --> 01:12:49,564
I don't know
if I deserve that.
1358
01:12:50,799 --> 01:12:52,367
But...
1359
01:12:55,938 --> 01:12:57,071
Okay.
1360
01:13:04,847 --> 01:13:06,381
Oh.
1361
01:13:08,083 --> 01:13:09,751
Tess?
1362
01:13:11,387 --> 01:13:14,922
If you're watching,
and I really hope you are...
1363
01:13:19,762 --> 01:13:21,028
I just wanna tell you...
1364
01:13:25,134 --> 01:13:28,803
[reporter] Sorry, folks.
It looks like we're having
some trouble with our live feed.
1365
01:13:28,805 --> 01:13:32,774
Uh, we'll get you back
out there as soon as we--
1366
01:13:32,776 --> 01:13:35,676
-Got it?
-Somebody call 911.
1367
01:13:35,678 --> 01:13:38,079
-[reporter] There's some
sort of accident.
[man] Don't touch him.
1368
01:13:38,081 --> 01:13:39,614
-Pick it up.
-Check his pulse.
1369
01:13:39,616 --> 01:13:41,482
Could you tell us
what's going on?
1370
01:13:41,484 --> 01:13:45,186
Okay. For those of you
still watching,
I have some breaking news.
1371
01:13:45,188 --> 01:13:48,423
Simon Hayes has been
struck by lightning.
1372
01:13:48,425 --> 01:13:50,491
-I'm told that
he's unconscious...
-[gasps]
1373
01:13:50,493 --> 01:13:52,560
-[screaming]
-Paramedics are on the way.
1374
01:13:53,629 --> 01:13:54,796
Genius!
1375
01:14:01,003 --> 01:14:03,171
[Tess] Simon? Simon?
1376
01:14:05,140 --> 01:14:07,542
-[Simon] Tess?
-Simon?
1377
01:14:08,944 --> 01:14:11,479
Simon. Hey, buddy.
1378
01:14:12,981 --> 01:14:15,550
Come on, Sime.
You're all right.
1379
01:14:15,552 --> 01:14:17,919
-Where am I?
-Oh, you're in
the hospital.
1380
01:14:17,921 --> 01:14:20,221
-What happened?
-Oh, you were struck
by lightning.
1381
01:14:20,223 --> 01:14:22,790
-What?
-You were struck
by lightning.
1382
01:14:22,792 --> 01:14:26,794
On TV, and it was awesome.
The whole thing is online.
1383
01:14:26,796 --> 01:14:28,930
When you slow down
the footage like I did,
1384
01:14:28,932 --> 01:14:32,033
you can see the exact moment
the bolt hit your head. Zap!
1385
01:14:32,035 --> 01:14:35,102
Dude, you are so lucky.
1386
01:14:35,104 --> 01:14:37,038
To be alive.
1387
01:14:37,040 --> 01:14:38,706
Oh, yeah. Yeah.
That's what I meant.
1388
01:14:38,708 --> 01:14:41,008
Oh, by the way,
there's some people
waiting for you,
1389
01:14:41,010 --> 01:14:44,779
and the doctors won't let
them in, because they're not
immediate family, you know.
1390
01:14:47,950 --> 01:14:49,150
How did you get in here?
1391
01:14:49,152 --> 01:14:52,053
Oh, no one ever stops me
from going anywhere.
1392
01:14:52,055 --> 01:14:53,488
[groans]
1393
01:14:55,858 --> 01:14:57,258
He's okay.
1394
01:14:57,260 --> 01:14:59,026
[all cheering]
1395
01:15:05,634 --> 01:15:07,101
Hello, Utah.
1396
01:15:08,570 --> 01:15:09,871
-Hey, man.
-Hey.
1397
01:15:09,873 --> 01:15:11,138
Hey, uh...
1398
01:15:12,508 --> 01:15:14,175
I got a surprise for you.
1399
01:15:22,684 --> 01:15:23,951
Told you.
1400
01:15:25,153 --> 01:15:26,187
Told me what?
1401
01:15:27,523 --> 01:15:28,890
Lightning.
1402
01:15:28,892 --> 01:15:29,957
[imitates crackling]
1403
01:15:29,959 --> 01:15:31,192
[giggles]
1404
01:15:38,667 --> 01:15:40,201
Are we okay?
1405
01:15:42,938 --> 01:15:43,971
No.
1406
01:15:47,543 --> 01:15:49,010
But give it some time.
1407
01:16:28,183 --> 01:16:29,283
Hi.
1408
01:16:30,352 --> 01:16:31,586
Hi.
1409
01:16:33,589 --> 01:16:34,822
Take the hat off.
1410
01:16:38,794 --> 01:16:39,927
[gasps]
1411
01:16:41,797 --> 01:16:42,964
Put the hat back on.
1412
01:16:45,133 --> 01:16:47,969
-Oh, hey, Simon.
-Hey.
1413
01:16:47,971 --> 01:16:49,070
Oh, hang on.
1414
01:16:56,211 --> 01:16:59,180
Hey. You don't
want it anymore?
1415
01:16:59,182 --> 01:17:01,716
Of course I want it.
But I want you to sign it.
1416
01:17:09,725 --> 01:17:11,792
[music playing]
1417
01:17:12,794 --> 01:17:14,161
-How's that?
-Good.
1418
01:17:15,230 --> 01:17:17,064
-Bye, Mom.
-Have fun.
1419
01:17:17,066 --> 01:17:18,866
Bye.
1420
01:17:21,069 --> 01:17:22,703
See? I told you.
1421
01:17:27,342 --> 01:17:29,810
I've been so busy today,
I skipped lunch.
1422
01:17:31,079 --> 01:17:32,680
You hungry?
1423
01:17:32,682 --> 01:17:37,718
♪ Just you and me
with other people
we wanna see ♪
1424
01:17:37,720 --> 01:17:43,691
♪ So for now,
I'ma hold on to the moment ♪
1425
01:17:43,693 --> 01:17:46,961
♪ I wish that this could
last for ever and ever ♪
1426
01:17:46,963 --> 01:17:50,097
♪ And ever,
and forever and ever ♪
1427
01:17:51,266 --> 01:17:53,167
Hey. Excuse me.
1428
01:17:53,169 --> 01:17:54,702
Aren't you Sally Carmichael?
1429
01:17:55,804 --> 01:17:58,439
Uh... Yep. I am.
1430
01:18:00,342 --> 01:18:01,709
You suck!
1431
01:18:07,983 --> 01:18:09,283
Give it some time.
1432
01:18:09,285 --> 01:18:11,452
♪ Live life with
the people you love ♪
1433
01:18:13,422 --> 01:18:15,322
♪ Oh, oh
1434
01:18:15,324 --> 01:18:18,926
♪ Forever and ever
1435
01:18:19,928 --> 01:18:21,395
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah
1436
01:18:21,397 --> 01:18:24,065
♪ Live life with
the people you love ♪
1437
01:18:47,255 --> 01:18:49,724
No one would
ever accept us.
1438
01:18:49,726 --> 01:18:53,294
Above the tide or below,
you could never survive
in my world.
1439
01:18:53,296 --> 01:18:56,997
And your people
would destroy me
as they have
1440
01:18:56,999 --> 01:18:58,733
with everything
that's unlike them.
1441
01:18:58,735 --> 01:19:01,435
But I can protect you.
We can protect each other.
1442
01:19:01,437 --> 01:19:03,404
I can't put you
through that. I won't.
1443
01:19:03,406 --> 01:19:04,939
Alexander?
1444
01:19:06,408 --> 01:19:08,042
Do you love me?
1445
01:19:08,044 --> 01:19:09,210
Don't ask me that.
1446
01:19:09,212 --> 01:19:10,978
Just tell me
what's in your heart.
1447
01:19:17,352 --> 01:19:18,519
Actually...
1448
01:19:20,122 --> 01:19:23,858
my heart is right here.
1449
01:19:30,899 --> 01:19:34,969
I can feel it beating.
It's so strong.
1450
01:19:34,971 --> 01:19:37,404
You and I are so different.
1451
01:19:37,406 --> 01:19:39,874
We might be from
different places
1452
01:19:39,876 --> 01:19:42,376
and our hearts might
be in different places,
1453
01:19:42,378 --> 01:19:47,882
but what matters is that
we're right here, right now,
in the same place.
1454
01:19:52,287 --> 01:19:54,255
[seagulls calling]
1455
01:20:00,862 --> 01:20:02,196
[squawking]
1456
01:20:15,277 --> 01:20:18,913
♪ One, two,
one, two, three, four ♪
1457
01:20:18,915 --> 01:20:20,881
[rock music playing]
1458
01:20:25,320 --> 01:20:29,056
♪ Well, the truth has come out
to all of my friends ♪
1459
01:20:29,058 --> 01:20:32,293
♪ I've been talking
behind their backs ♪
1460
01:20:32,295 --> 01:20:38,532
♪ It's something I do
when I feel confused,
lonely, and off-track ♪
1461
01:20:38,534 --> 01:20:42,069
♪ Well, I swear
I just wanna fit in ♪
1462
01:20:42,071 --> 01:20:45,539
♪ But I'm cold,
unfriendly and mean ♪
1463
01:20:45,541 --> 01:20:48,976
♪ And I can't get out
of this hole I'm in ♪
1464
01:20:48,978 --> 01:20:52,446
♪ 'Cause the hole
I'm in's too deep ♪
1465
01:20:52,448 --> 01:20:56,016
♪ No, I can't get out
of this hole I'm in ♪
1466
01:20:56,018 --> 01:20:59,620
♪ I'll just roll over
in the grave and sleep ♪
1467
01:21:01,523 --> 01:21:04,992
♪ When I lay next
to you, crying ♪
1468
01:21:04,994 --> 01:21:07,995
♪ You told me
you didn't understand ♪
1469
01:21:07,997 --> 01:21:11,232
♪ How all my explaining
fell from my loose lips ♪
1470
01:21:11,234 --> 01:21:15,035
♪ And you just wanted me
to hold your hand ♪
1471
01:21:15,037 --> 01:21:18,339
♪ Well, regret
and shame crept in ♪
1472
01:21:18,341 --> 01:21:21,876
♪ Then we didn't sleep
for a week ♪
1473
01:21:21,878 --> 01:21:25,212
♪ And I can't get out
of this hole I'm in ♪
1474
01:21:25,214 --> 01:21:28,349
♪ 'Cause the hole
I'm in's too deep ♪
1475
01:21:28,351 --> 01:21:32,253
♪ No, I can't get out
of this hole I'm in ♪
1476
01:21:32,255 --> 01:21:36,023
♪ I'll just roll over
in the grave and sleep ♪
1477
01:21:36,025 --> 01:21:39,026
♪ I have no intentions
1478
01:21:39,028 --> 01:21:42,062
♪ To do nobody wrong
1479
01:21:42,064 --> 01:21:46,133
♪ When my brain is burning
and my heart's overturning ♪
1480
01:21:46,135 --> 01:21:49,169
♪ It feels like I can't go on
1481
01:21:49,171 --> 01:21:54,241
♪ And I make mistakes
way too much ♪
1482
01:22:11,493 --> 01:22:14,695
♪ Political and
personal problems ♪
1483
01:22:14,697 --> 01:22:18,399
♪ Are piled up so high
on my back ♪
1484
01:22:18,401 --> 01:22:22,169
♪ I can't see clearly
or walk a straight line ♪
1485
01:22:22,171 --> 01:22:25,072
♪ Good Lord,
I'm way out of whack ♪
1486
01:22:25,074 --> 01:22:28,309
♪ So I just keep
digging and digging ♪
1487
01:22:28,311 --> 01:22:31,979
♪ To find comfort in my defeat
1488
01:22:31,981 --> 01:22:35,349
♪ And I can't get out
of this hole I'm in ♪
1489
01:22:35,351 --> 01:22:38,585
♪ 'Cause the hole
I'm in's too deep ♪
1490
01:22:38,587 --> 01:22:42,256
♪ No, I can't get out
of this hole I'm in ♪
1491
01:22:42,258 --> 01:22:45,726
♪ I'll just roll over
in the grave and sleep ♪
1492
01:22:45,728 --> 01:22:49,129
♪ Just roll over
in the grave and sleep ♪
1493
01:22:49,131 --> 01:22:52,633
♪ Just roll over
in the grave and sleep ♪
1494
01:22:52,635 --> 01:22:58,172
♪ I'll just roll over
in my grave ♪
1495
01:22:58,174 --> 01:23:00,708
♪ And sleep
1496
01:23:03,708 --> 01:23:07,708
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