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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,911 --> 00:00:03,345 Previously on Scream Queens... 2 00:00:03,379 --> 00:00:05,414 Once again, death came to Kappa House. 3 00:00:07,383 --> 00:00:09,218 I want everything Chanel has, 4 00:00:09,252 --> 00:00:10,652 and that includes you. 5 00:00:10,687 --> 00:00:12,888 If we're ever gonna find out what happened to that baby, 6 00:00:12,922 --> 00:00:14,523 we have to figure out who that woman was. 7 00:00:14,557 --> 00:00:16,225 That got way out of hand. 8 00:00:16,259 --> 00:00:17,592 He's got to go. 9 00:00:20,430 --> 00:00:22,397 I think I figured out what my problem is. 10 00:00:22,432 --> 00:00:23,966 I'm way too nice. 11 00:00:26,936 --> 00:00:29,104 As soon as Chanel #2's parents learned 12 00:00:29,138 --> 00:00:30,772 that their daughter's dead body had been found, 13 00:00:30,807 --> 00:00:32,608 they went on a cruise to celebrate. 14 00:00:32,642 --> 00:00:34,443 That's how much they hated this dead bitch. 15 00:00:34,477 --> 00:00:36,111 So when it fell to me 16 00:00:36,145 --> 00:00:37,779 to host an open casket funeral 17 00:00:37,814 --> 00:00:39,581 and fulfill her dying wish of being cremated 18 00:00:39,616 --> 00:00:43,085 and shot into space, I was like, "Yeah, okay." 19 00:00:43,119 --> 00:00:44,486 So stupid. 20 00:00:44,520 --> 00:00:47,456 This is what happens to sneaky backstabbers. 21 00:00:51,294 --> 00:00:54,696 Just so you know, I took all your clothes. 22 00:00:54,731 --> 00:00:57,266 It's too bad you had to die... 23 00:00:57,300 --> 00:00:59,568 before we found out what ethnicity you are. 24 00:01:04,207 --> 00:01:06,375 Godspeed, Chanel #2. 25 00:01:06,409 --> 00:01:08,677 God, I loved porking you so much. 26 00:01:12,348 --> 00:01:14,183 Dearly beloved, 27 00:01:14,217 --> 00:01:16,551 we're gathered here today because a backstabbing 28 00:01:16,586 --> 00:01:18,687 little bitch got exactly what was coming to her. 29 00:01:18,721 --> 00:01:22,057 Chanel #2 literally never had my back. 30 00:01:22,091 --> 00:01:23,659 Whenever I wanted to strut across campus 31 00:01:23,693 --> 00:01:25,394 or down a long hallway with the other Chanels, 32 00:01:25,428 --> 00:01:27,863 she'd always be like, "I have a colonic!" 33 00:01:27,897 --> 00:01:30,666 So instead of strutting across campus 34 00:01:30,700 --> 00:01:32,868 in a beautiful diamond formation, 35 00:01:32,902 --> 00:01:36,171 we were forced to strut across campus in a triad formation, 36 00:01:36,206 --> 00:01:39,508 like a bunch of hobos, because Number Two 37 00:01:39,542 --> 00:01:42,044 didn't think she should have to walk behind me. 38 00:01:42,078 --> 00:01:43,312 But whenever I find myself 39 00:01:43,346 --> 00:01:45,347 descending a staircase in heels, 40 00:01:45,381 --> 00:01:47,149 you can bet Number Two was right there behind me 41 00:01:47,183 --> 00:01:48,917 with a helpful little nudge. 42 00:01:51,721 --> 00:01:53,422 Oops, sorry, Chanel. 43 00:01:53,456 --> 00:01:55,557 This dumb dead whore also 44 00:01:55,592 --> 00:01:57,492 used her high-ponied wiles to seduce my man 45 00:01:57,527 --> 00:01:59,828 into rubbing uglies with her. 46 00:01:59,862 --> 00:02:01,997 So I hope you all grasp the concept 47 00:02:02,031 --> 00:02:03,699 that this is what happens when you rub uglies with my man... 48 00:02:03,733 --> 00:02:05,200 You end up dead! 49 00:02:05,234 --> 00:02:07,603 So, have fun being dead, Number Two. 50 00:02:07,637 --> 00:02:09,204 You were a stupid, little trollop, 51 00:02:09,239 --> 00:02:10,505 and I hope you're burning in hell right now. 52 00:02:10,540 --> 00:02:12,507 Amen. 53 00:02:12,542 --> 00:02:14,543 Amen! 54 00:02:16,412 --> 00:02:18,914 Now, I'd like to invite you all out to the driveway 55 00:02:18,948 --> 00:02:21,383 to the mobile crematorium for some light refreshments, 56 00:02:21,417 --> 00:02:24,519 courtesy of our friends at spaceburial.today. 57 00:02:24,554 --> 00:02:27,122 Thank you. 58 00:02:32,381 --> 00:02:35,365 Sync & corrections by wilson0804 www.Addic7ed.com 59 00:02:40,470 --> 00:02:41,870 Chanel, are you in here? 60 00:02:41,904 --> 00:02:43,605 Go away! 61 00:02:43,640 --> 00:02:45,607 We just wanted to make sure you're okay. 62 00:02:45,642 --> 00:02:47,809 We think it be good for you to open up and talk things out. 63 00:02:47,844 --> 00:02:49,311 There's nothing left to talk about. 64 00:02:49,345 --> 00:02:50,812 Number Two's soul is rotting in hell 65 00:02:50,847 --> 00:02:52,781 and her remains have been cremated 66 00:02:52,815 --> 00:02:54,416 and are on their way to Cape Canaveral! I just can't stop 67 00:02:54,450 --> 00:02:56,451 thinking about Number Two and Chad having sex. 68 00:02:56,486 --> 00:02:57,452 I just find it 69 00:02:57,487 --> 00:02:58,987 so shocking that Chanel #2 70 00:02:59,022 --> 00:03:00,455 would betray you like that. 71 00:03:00,490 --> 00:03:01,590 Do you? 72 00:03:01,624 --> 00:03:03,892 Do you find it so shocking? 73 00:03:03,927 --> 00:03:05,494 Because you also tried to sleep with Chad, Number Six. 74 00:03:05,528 --> 00:03:08,063 And you tried to frame me for murder! 75 00:03:08,097 --> 00:03:10,899 I mean, I went to jail because of you! I'm so sorry, Chanel. 76 00:03:10,934 --> 00:03:12,601 I promise to never betray your trust again. 77 00:03:12,635 --> 00:03:14,770 You most certainly won't betray my trust ever again, 78 00:03:14,804 --> 00:03:18,340 because you will never have my trust ever again! 79 00:03:18,374 --> 00:03:20,742 Look, we think you need to contact Number Two, 80 00:03:20,777 --> 00:03:23,412 and just give her a chance to do right by you. 81 00:03:23,446 --> 00:03:24,780 What the hell are you talking about?! How?! 82 00:03:24,814 --> 00:03:27,583 Well, I found this old talking board 83 00:03:27,617 --> 00:03:29,451 in the basement. Those things don't work! 84 00:03:29,485 --> 00:03:31,119 Yes, they do. Didn't you see the movie? 85 00:03:31,154 --> 00:03:33,255 The movie Ouija? No! No one did! 86 00:03:33,289 --> 00:03:35,490 Tonight we're having a Chanel Night, where we heal 87 00:03:35,525 --> 00:03:38,293 all wounds among the Chanels, both living and dead. 88 00:03:38,328 --> 00:03:40,162 We'll order in some duck sauce for our cotton balls 89 00:03:40,196 --> 00:03:42,197 and contact Chanel #2 so she can prove to you that she's sorry. 90 00:03:42,231 --> 00:03:43,732 What do you say? 91 00:03:45,335 --> 00:03:47,002 This board looks evil. 92 00:03:47,036 --> 00:03:50,606 What are you talking about... It has two dancing demons, 93 00:03:50,640 --> 00:03:52,441 a dead old lady and cute little pentagrams. 94 00:03:52,475 --> 00:03:55,611 Okay, so how is this supposed to work? 95 00:03:55,645 --> 00:03:57,880 We all put our hands on this thing 96 00:03:57,914 --> 00:03:59,882 called a planchette and promise not to move it. 97 00:03:59,916 --> 00:04:02,517 Chanel #2's spirit will move it after we contact her. 98 00:04:02,552 --> 00:04:04,553 What if Chanel #2 is busy getting Eiffel-Towered 99 00:04:04,587 --> 00:04:06,355 by Hitler and Satan? 100 00:04:06,389 --> 00:04:08,056 Let's just try it, okay? 101 00:04:10,727 --> 00:04:13,195 Chanel #2... 102 00:04:13,229 --> 00:04:14,730 It's Chanels 103 00:04:14,764 --> 00:04:16,531 ♪ 1, ♪3, ♪5 104 00:04:16,566 --> 00:04:18,300 and #6 contacting you 105 00:04:18,334 --> 00:04:21,203 from beyond the grave... 106 00:04:21,237 --> 00:04:23,572 Are you there, Chanel Number #2...? 107 00:04:23,606 --> 00:04:25,407 Are you there...? 108 00:04:27,043 --> 00:04:29,645 Oh, my God, it's working! 109 00:04:29,679 --> 00:04:31,013 We have to ask her a question 110 00:04:31,047 --> 00:04:32,314 only she would know the answer to. 111 00:04:32,348 --> 00:04:33,515 Got it. 112 00:04:33,550 --> 00:04:35,017 Chanel #2, 113 00:04:35,051 --> 00:04:37,186 does Chanel #5's vagina have teeth? 114 00:04:37,220 --> 00:04:38,654 You can't ask her that! 115 00:04:40,590 --> 00:04:41,590 It's her. 116 00:04:41,624 --> 00:04:42,424 Also? 117 00:04:42,458 --> 00:04:43,859 I love this thing. 118 00:04:43,893 --> 00:04:45,194 Okay, what should we ask her next? 119 00:04:47,764 --> 00:04:49,831 Are you moving it? No, are you? 120 00:04:49,866 --> 00:04:51,733 No, are you? I'm not moving it. 121 00:04:51,768 --> 00:04:54,102 Uh, what's it spelling? 122 00:04:55,138 --> 00:04:57,439 C... 123 00:04:57,473 --> 00:04:59,041 H... 124 00:04:59,075 --> 00:05:00,442 A... 125 00:05:02,545 --> 00:05:03,712 D. 126 00:05:03,746 --> 00:05:05,047 Chad. 127 00:05:05,081 --> 00:05:06,915 Chad? 128 00:05:06,950 --> 00:05:08,417 I... 129 00:05:08,451 --> 00:05:10,519 S... 130 00:05:10,553 --> 00:05:12,221 Is. 131 00:05:12,255 --> 00:05:13,789 Chad is... 132 00:05:19,128 --> 00:05:21,563 Cheating... 133 00:05:21,598 --> 00:05:23,031 On-on you. 134 00:05:23,066 --> 00:05:25,601 No, that-that can't be true. 135 00:05:25,635 --> 00:05:27,636 He promised he'd be monogamous. 136 00:05:29,672 --> 00:05:31,940 It's... 137 00:05:31,975 --> 00:05:33,709 True. 138 00:05:33,743 --> 00:05:35,444 It's not true! 139 00:05:35,478 --> 00:05:37,312 Chad promised! 140 00:05:37,347 --> 00:05:39,615 Chanel #2 is screwing with me from beyond the grave! 141 00:05:39,649 --> 00:05:41,650 Well, everyone in this room, sit up and take notice. 142 00:05:41,684 --> 00:05:43,986 I am going to prove that bitch wrong! 143 00:05:54,831 --> 00:05:56,265 Hello? 144 00:05:56,299 --> 00:05:58,066 Who's this? 145 00:05:58,101 --> 00:06:01,436 No, I'm sorry, I don't know anyone by that name. 146 00:06:01,471 --> 00:06:03,972 Yeah, I used to know and love someone by that name, 147 00:06:04,007 --> 00:06:06,475 but I've forced myself to forget that they exist, 148 00:06:06,509 --> 00:06:09,311 because they continuously let me down. 149 00:06:09,345 --> 00:06:11,680 Yes, I am talking about you! What is wrong with you?! 150 00:06:11,714 --> 00:06:13,182 I told you to get rid of him! 151 00:06:15,318 --> 00:06:17,586 We are not kidnappers. 152 00:06:17,620 --> 00:06:20,189 We are murderers, hell bent on revenge. 153 00:06:20,223 --> 00:06:22,091 I told you this. 154 00:06:22,125 --> 00:06:24,359 That is our brand, and if he's messing with it, 155 00:06:24,394 --> 00:06:26,595 he has to go! No. 156 00:06:26,629 --> 00:06:29,598 I do not want to hear about how this is hard for you, okay? 157 00:06:29,632 --> 00:06:31,533 You know what's hard for me? 158 00:06:31,568 --> 00:06:33,936 Trying to cook coq Au vin 159 00:06:33,970 --> 00:06:36,538 while managing this whole years-in-the-making revenge plan 160 00:06:36,573 --> 00:06:38,507 without anyone's help! 161 00:06:38,541 --> 00:06:41,210 And since you guys are so clearly inefficient 162 00:06:41,244 --> 00:06:43,212 at killing everyone, I now have to come up 163 00:06:43,246 --> 00:06:44,947 with an overly elaborate plan 164 00:06:44,981 --> 00:06:47,649 to get the scent off of us, too. 165 00:06:47,684 --> 00:06:48,650 Honey, I'm home! 166 00:06:49,986 --> 00:06:51,954 I have to go. 167 00:06:51,988 --> 00:06:56,091 Now, will you please go kill some people? 168 00:06:58,261 --> 00:07:01,130 Hello, best boyfriend ever. 169 00:07:01,164 --> 00:07:02,197 Hi. 170 00:07:02,232 --> 00:07:04,900 Oh... 171 00:07:04,934 --> 00:07:08,003 Who was that on the phone? 172 00:07:08,037 --> 00:07:09,404 Oh, no one. 173 00:07:09,439 --> 00:07:11,507 Just some family drama. 174 00:07:11,541 --> 00:07:13,175 Oh. Shall we eat? 175 00:07:13,209 --> 00:07:15,577 I feel ridiculous. 176 00:07:15,612 --> 00:07:17,613 Well, just come out so I can see. 177 00:07:20,583 --> 00:07:21,817 First of all, 178 00:07:21,851 --> 00:07:23,886 the waist on these jeans is way too low. 179 00:07:23,920 --> 00:07:26,889 And I feel like the jacket needs a fun pattern, 180 00:07:26,923 --> 00:07:29,925 like something the Fresh Prince of Bel Air would wear? 181 00:07:29,959 --> 00:07:31,560 Okay, look, my dad is a mega-dork 182 00:07:31,594 --> 00:07:33,362 and he's super into you, but I know him, 183 00:07:33,396 --> 00:07:34,897 and trust me, he's gonna start 184 00:07:34,931 --> 00:07:36,532 getting bummed about your clothes eventually. 185 00:07:36,566 --> 00:07:38,600 Okay, I'm not totally sure 186 00:07:38,635 --> 00:07:40,669 you understand how fashion works. 187 00:07:40,703 --> 00:07:43,338 In, like, five years, my clothes 188 00:07:43,373 --> 00:07:45,374 are gonna be super hip again. 189 00:07:46,476 --> 00:07:48,377 Probably right, 190 00:07:48,411 --> 00:07:50,112 but if you really like my dad, you should be taking advice 191 00:07:50,146 --> 00:07:52,581 from the girl who knows him better than anyone in the world. 192 00:07:52,615 --> 00:07:53,715 Hmm? 193 00:07:53,750 --> 00:07:55,117 It's pretty, huh? 194 00:07:56,386 --> 00:07:57,853 Is he still mad at me? 195 00:07:57,887 --> 00:07:59,388 You know, for not leaving campus? 196 00:07:59,422 --> 00:08:00,689 Mad? No. 197 00:08:00,724 --> 00:08:01,723 No, no, no. 198 00:08:01,758 --> 00:08:03,959 Worried? Yeah. 199 00:08:03,993 --> 00:08:05,861 Is that what today is about? 200 00:08:05,895 --> 00:08:07,696 Are you trying to get some Dad Intel from me? 201 00:08:07,730 --> 00:08:09,031 Kind of. 202 00:08:09,065 --> 00:08:11,366 Aw, I get it, hon. 203 00:08:11,401 --> 00:08:13,469 And I'm very touched. 204 00:08:13,503 --> 00:08:15,471 Not in my, not in my head. 205 00:08:15,505 --> 00:08:16,939 Touched in my heart. 206 00:08:16,973 --> 00:08:19,274 Look, I really like your dad. 207 00:08:19,309 --> 00:08:20,809 Like his playlists. 208 00:08:20,844 --> 00:08:24,113 I like the borderline-creepy way he looks out for you. 209 00:08:24,147 --> 00:08:25,948 I like that he hasn't dated anyone 210 00:08:25,982 --> 00:08:28,250 in, like, 18 years and somehow makes it not seem 211 00:08:28,284 --> 00:08:29,818 really, super weird. 212 00:08:29,853 --> 00:08:31,954 He's kind of the perfect guy. 213 00:08:31,988 --> 00:08:34,890 And that guy deserves a girl who doesn't dress like Brenda Walsh. 214 00:08:40,030 --> 00:08:43,499 Oh, who wears a white T-shirt? 215 00:08:43,533 --> 00:08:46,502 Everybody... like, literally everybody wears white T-shirts. 216 00:08:46,536 --> 00:08:48,904 Well, thanks for being cool with me. 217 00:08:48,938 --> 00:08:51,940 I know this hasn't been easy on you. 218 00:08:51,975 --> 00:08:55,778 Well, you know, I just like seeing my dad happy, so... 219 00:08:55,812 --> 00:08:57,646 Hey, that reminds me, 220 00:08:57,680 --> 00:09:00,916 I know you and, uh, Pete 221 00:09:00,950 --> 00:09:03,619 have been doing some investigative reporting 222 00:09:03,653 --> 00:09:05,287 for the school paper. 223 00:09:05,321 --> 00:09:06,755 Yeah. 224 00:09:06,790 --> 00:09:09,191 Have you guys looked into Feather McCarthy? 225 00:09:09,225 --> 00:09:11,994 Yeah, she was a sister at Kappa a couple of years ago 226 00:09:12,028 --> 00:09:14,330 and ended up leaving the house. 227 00:09:14,364 --> 00:09:16,498 But I remember there being a lot of drama 228 00:09:16,533 --> 00:09:18,801 surrounding her at the central office. 229 00:09:18,835 --> 00:09:22,938 Pretty sure Dean Munsch was involved. 230 00:09:22,972 --> 00:09:24,173 Do you think this girl could have 231 00:09:24,207 --> 00:09:25,307 a vendetta against Kappa house? 232 00:09:25,341 --> 00:09:27,109 Oh, I would be more interested 233 00:09:27,143 --> 00:09:29,545 to know her thoughts about Dean Munsch. 234 00:09:31,014 --> 00:09:32,714 Hey! 235 00:09:32,749 --> 00:09:34,883 You know what would look great with this top? 236 00:09:34,918 --> 00:09:38,520 Like, a neon leather jacket with huge shoulder pads! 237 00:09:42,158 --> 00:09:44,493 It's really weird. 238 00:09:44,527 --> 00:09:46,195 I haven't been inside here in a while. 239 00:09:46,229 --> 00:09:47,796 Feather, we wanted to ask you 240 00:09:47,831 --> 00:09:48,964 some questions about Dean Munsch. 241 00:09:48,998 --> 00:09:50,232 She did it. 242 00:09:50,266 --> 00:09:52,835 Whatever it is, she was involved somehow. 243 00:09:52,869 --> 00:09:54,369 That woman is friggin' nuts. 244 00:09:54,404 --> 00:09:56,238 I made the mistake of crossing her, 245 00:09:56,272 --> 00:09:57,639 and it got dark. 246 00:09:57,674 --> 00:09:59,508 What happened? 247 00:09:59,542 --> 00:10:01,744 Well, it was two years ago 248 00:10:01,778 --> 00:10:03,712 that I met her husband, Dr. Munsch, 249 00:10:03,747 --> 00:10:07,082 and we sort of became involved. 250 00:10:07,117 --> 00:10:09,885 He was my Beatles 101 professor. 251 00:10:17,460 --> 00:10:20,362 ♪ She told me she worked in the morning ♪ 252 00:10:20,397 --> 00:10:24,099 ♪ And started to laugh ♪ 253 00:10:24,134 --> 00:10:26,268 ♪ I told her I didn't ♪ 254 00:10:26,302 --> 00:10:31,073 ♪ And crawled off to sleep in the bath ♪ 255 00:10:31,107 --> 00:10:34,410 ♪ And when I awoke ♪ 256 00:10:34,444 --> 00:10:38,580 ♪ I was alone, this bird had flown ♪ 257 00:10:38,615 --> 00:10:41,717 ♪ So I lit a fire ♪ 258 00:10:41,751 --> 00:10:43,519 ♪ Isn't it good ♪ 259 00:10:43,553 --> 00:10:45,754 ♪ Norwegian wood. ♪ 260 00:10:48,458 --> 00:10:50,092 I love that song. 261 00:10:50,126 --> 00:10:54,129 Well, normally I don't perform for my students. 262 00:10:54,164 --> 00:10:57,299 But... Feather, 263 00:10:57,333 --> 00:10:59,034 you are such 264 00:10:59,069 --> 00:11:01,136 a strong woman. 265 00:11:01,171 --> 00:11:05,074 I love the way you challenge me in the classroom. 266 00:11:10,080 --> 00:11:14,383 I mean, he wasn't really attractive at all, 267 00:11:14,417 --> 00:11:17,820 but I mean, he was the Beatles professor. 268 00:11:21,858 --> 00:11:24,493 So we started having sex. 269 00:11:24,527 --> 00:11:26,995 Not all the time. 270 00:11:27,030 --> 00:11:29,498 He was in his mid-50s, so he could only get it up, 271 00:11:29,532 --> 00:11:31,500 like, once or twice a week. 272 00:11:36,973 --> 00:11:38,774 When he broke the news to Dean Munsch, 273 00:11:38,808 --> 00:11:40,809 she went crazy. 274 00:11:40,844 --> 00:11:43,312 Cathy, I want a divorce. 275 00:11:43,346 --> 00:11:45,881 Feather and I are in love. 276 00:11:55,125 --> 00:11:58,093 I knew then that she was going to come after me. 277 00:11:58,128 --> 00:11:59,962 She kicked Dr. Munsch out of the house, 278 00:11:59,996 --> 00:12:02,131 and he had to move in to Kappa House. 279 00:12:08,471 --> 00:12:10,939 Pink. Tell us something you learned this week 280 00:12:10,974 --> 00:12:12,441 about what it means to be a woman. 281 00:12:12,475 --> 00:12:13,642 Oh, yes. 282 00:12:13,676 --> 00:12:14,843 Oh, yes. 283 00:12:14,878 --> 00:12:15,811 Um... 284 00:12:25,021 --> 00:12:26,989 Everywhere I'd go, she'd just be there, 285 00:12:27,023 --> 00:12:29,191 dressed exactly like me. 286 00:12:33,897 --> 00:12:35,564 Dean Munsch pulled some strings, 287 00:12:35,598 --> 00:12:37,499 and got me kicked out of Kappa House. 288 00:12:37,534 --> 00:12:39,835 I couldn't show my face on campus, 289 00:12:39,869 --> 00:12:42,037 so I've been finishing up my education online. 290 00:12:42,072 --> 00:12:44,406 After the divorce went through, 291 00:12:44,441 --> 00:12:46,008 Steven got his house back, 292 00:12:46,042 --> 00:12:48,410 and he asked me to move in with him. 293 00:12:48,445 --> 00:12:49,845 But listen to this. 294 00:12:49,879 --> 00:12:51,513 A week later, 295 00:12:51,548 --> 00:12:53,382 I was home alone with period cramps, 296 00:12:53,416 --> 00:12:55,351 so I decided to take a bubble bath. 297 00:12:55,385 --> 00:12:58,854 Steven had this old iPod thing 298 00:12:58,888 --> 00:13:02,057 that you plug in, and it picks up music from the air. 299 00:13:07,864 --> 00:13:09,531 A transistor radio. 300 00:13:09,566 --> 00:13:11,166 That's how the old dean died. 301 00:13:11,201 --> 00:13:13,569 A transistor fell in her bathtub. 302 00:13:13,603 --> 00:13:14,670 Feather. 303 00:13:14,704 --> 00:13:15,938 Are you saying that you believe 304 00:13:15,972 --> 00:13:18,007 Dean Munsch is capable of murder? 305 00:13:18,041 --> 00:13:18,907 Yes. 306 00:13:20,710 --> 00:13:22,745 We're now working on a story about how Dean Munsch 307 00:13:22,779 --> 00:13:25,614 is behind all the murders on campus. 308 00:13:25,649 --> 00:13:27,750 Are you willing to go on record as a source? 309 00:13:28,952 --> 00:13:30,252 You bet I am. 310 00:13:34,557 --> 00:13:35,924 Baby, I'm home. 311 00:13:35,959 --> 00:13:37,760 I picked up your Metamucil 312 00:13:37,794 --> 00:13:39,928 in that orange flavor that you like. 313 00:13:39,963 --> 00:13:42,631 Hey, did you spill ketchup 314 00:13:42,666 --> 00:13:44,800 in the shape of an arrow on the floor? 315 00:13:52,776 --> 00:13:56,912 ♪ But my heart just won't buy it ♪ 316 00:13:56,947 --> 00:14:01,984 ♪ If I didn't think it was worth a try ♪ 317 00:14:02,018 --> 00:14:07,656 ♪ I'd roll up in a big ball ♪ 318 00:14:07,691 --> 00:14:08,991 ♪ And die ♪ 319 00:14:09,025 --> 00:14:11,994 ♪ I've been a puppet ♪ 320 00:14:12,028 --> 00:14:13,562 ♪ A pauper ♪ 321 00:14:13,596 --> 00:14:17,132 ♪ A pawn and a queen ♪ 322 00:14:17,167 --> 00:14:20,636 Honey? 323 00:14:20,670 --> 00:14:23,072 ♪ And I know one thing ♪ 324 00:14:23,106 --> 00:14:24,606 Stephen? 325 00:14:24,641 --> 00:14:26,976 ♪ I find myself layin' ♪ 326 00:14:27,010 --> 00:14:29,345 ♪ Flat on my face ♪ 327 00:14:29,379 --> 00:14:32,648 ♪ I just pick myself up ♪ 328 00:14:32,682 --> 00:14:37,253 ♪ And get back in the race ♪ 329 00:14:37,287 --> 00:14:40,623 ♪ That's life, I can't deny it ♪ 330 00:14:44,361 --> 00:14:46,662 ♪ I thought of quittin', but my heart ♪ 331 00:14:46,696 --> 00:14:50,666 ♪ Just won't buy it ♪ 332 00:14:50,700 --> 00:14:54,703 ♪ If I didn't think it was worth a try ♪ 333 00:14:54,738 --> 00:14:59,341 ♪ I'd roll up in a big ball ♪ 334 00:15:02,545 --> 00:15:07,182 ♪ And die! ♪ 335 00:15:12,121 --> 00:15:14,222 Chad! Chad Radwell! 336 00:15:14,256 --> 00:15:16,557 I spoke to dead Chanel #2, 337 00:15:16,592 --> 00:15:19,594 and you and I need to have a frank conversation. 338 00:15:19,628 --> 00:15:20,928 Chad? 339 00:15:22,164 --> 00:15:24,165 Chad, it's me. 340 00:15:25,501 --> 00:15:27,135 Chad? 341 00:15:27,169 --> 00:15:28,803 Chanel, this is not what it looks like! 342 00:15:28,837 --> 00:15:31,806 Are you having sex with a goat? 343 00:15:32,775 --> 00:15:34,142 We had a promise, Chad. 344 00:15:34,176 --> 00:15:35,610 You looked me in the eye 345 00:15:35,644 --> 00:15:37,412 and promised me you would try to be monogamous! 346 00:15:37,446 --> 00:15:39,847 Uh, yeah, huh-doi, Chanel, I have been monogamous. 347 00:15:39,882 --> 00:15:41,015 Yes, I've looked 348 00:15:41,050 --> 00:15:42,617 at a ton of porn, yes, 349 00:15:42,651 --> 00:15:44,319 I've been rubbing one out every five to ten minutes. 350 00:15:44,353 --> 00:15:45,954 But, no, Chanel, I have not cheated on you. 351 00:15:45,988 --> 00:15:47,121 Liar! Chanel #2 352 00:15:47,156 --> 00:15:48,323 told me from beyond the grave 353 00:15:48,357 --> 00:15:49,924 that you were cheating, 354 00:15:49,959 --> 00:15:51,926 and then I catch you in bed with a farm animal! 355 00:15:51,960 --> 00:15:53,027 Hey, she is not a "farm animal." 356 00:15:53,062 --> 00:15:54,462 Her name is Rammy, 357 00:15:54,496 --> 00:15:56,431 and she is a non-human helper companion! 358 00:15:56,465 --> 00:15:57,765 What? 359 00:15:57,800 --> 00:15:58,866 I am leaving. 360 00:15:58,901 --> 00:16:00,501 I am breaking up with you. 361 00:16:00,536 --> 00:16:01,669 Good-bye, Chad. 362 00:16:02,738 --> 00:16:04,439 Chanel! 363 00:16:04,473 --> 00:16:05,540 You are gonna close that door, 364 00:16:05,574 --> 00:16:06,641 and you're gonna hear me out. 365 00:16:09,712 --> 00:16:11,379 ♪ This is the sound of my soul... ♪ 366 00:16:11,413 --> 00:16:13,715 You have 30 seconds. 367 00:16:13,749 --> 00:16:17,852 ♪ Always slippin' from my hands ♪ 368 00:16:22,024 --> 00:16:24,492 My whole life, 369 00:16:24,526 --> 00:16:26,227 I've lived with a secret shame. 370 00:16:27,696 --> 00:16:29,831 And that secret shame is that... 371 00:16:33,335 --> 00:16:35,503 I'm lactose intolerant. 372 00:16:35,537 --> 00:16:36,904 This is insane. 373 00:16:36,939 --> 00:16:38,406 No, it's not insane, Chanel. 374 00:16:38,440 --> 00:16:40,308 Lactose intolerance afflicts 375 00:16:40,342 --> 00:16:42,577 around 50% of the human population, 376 00:16:42,611 --> 00:16:45,213 who spend their entire lives walking past Baskin Robbins 377 00:16:45,247 --> 00:16:48,249 knowing that if they even have a little bit of ice cream, 378 00:16:48,284 --> 00:16:49,984 they're gonna fart a bunch. 379 00:16:50,019 --> 00:16:51,486 And if you weren't so ignorant, 380 00:16:51,520 --> 00:16:52,987 and you cracked a book every once in a while, 381 00:16:53,022 --> 00:16:55,023 you would know that goat's milk, 382 00:16:55,057 --> 00:16:56,691 it's lactose free. 383 00:16:56,725 --> 00:16:59,027 And if I gently rub Rammy's belly for eight to ten minutes, 384 00:16:59,061 --> 00:17:00,495 she will relax enough 385 00:17:00,529 --> 00:17:02,697 to allow milking that could yield up to two liters 386 00:17:02,731 --> 00:17:04,165 of nutritious, lactose free protein 387 00:17:04,199 --> 00:17:07,101 that keeps this bod looking hot, Chanel. 388 00:17:07,136 --> 00:17:10,738 Oh, Chad, I'm so sorry! 389 00:17:10,773 --> 00:17:12,607 I mean, that makes so much sense. 390 00:17:12,641 --> 00:17:14,342 I'm so sorry I doubted you. 391 00:17:14,376 --> 00:17:15,910 I promise I'll never let dead Number Two's messages 392 00:17:15,944 --> 00:17:17,111 get between us again. 393 00:17:17,146 --> 00:17:18,446 She's clearly trying 394 00:17:18,480 --> 00:17:20,181 to break us up from beyond the grave! 395 00:17:20,215 --> 00:17:22,417 Look, you just can't let dead people get to you. 396 00:17:22,451 --> 00:17:24,118 Okay, they're super pissed off they're dead, 397 00:17:24,153 --> 00:17:25,386 so they're coming from a place of anger. 398 00:17:25,421 --> 00:17:26,554 I know. 399 00:17:26,588 --> 00:17:28,456 Look, if it makes you feel any better 400 00:17:28,490 --> 00:17:30,091 we can totally bang if you want. 401 00:17:30,125 --> 00:17:32,794 That would be so nice. 402 00:17:32,828 --> 00:17:34,295 Oh, um, 403 00:17:34,330 --> 00:17:35,630 I got to milk Rammy first. 404 00:17:37,399 --> 00:17:38,566 She's super relaxed right now, 405 00:17:38,601 --> 00:17:40,301 and that udder is, like, bursting. 406 00:17:42,304 --> 00:17:45,039 I mean, 407 00:17:45,074 --> 00:17:47,642 I knew I had had one hurricane too many, 408 00:17:47,676 --> 00:17:49,210 but let's be honest, 409 00:17:49,245 --> 00:17:51,379 one hurricane is one hurricane too many. 410 00:17:51,413 --> 00:17:53,915 But so drunk that you fall down the stairs 411 00:17:53,949 --> 00:17:55,149 in your own apartment? 412 00:17:55,184 --> 00:17:56,651 Wow. 413 00:17:56,685 --> 00:17:58,252 I've been to your apartment. 414 00:17:58,287 --> 00:18:00,455 Uh, you don't have any stairs. 415 00:18:01,657 --> 00:18:04,592 Well, that shows you 416 00:18:04,627 --> 00:18:05,927 how drunk I was. 417 00:18:05,961 --> 00:18:07,395 I hallucinated 418 00:18:07,429 --> 00:18:09,297 a flight of stairs. 419 00:18:11,033 --> 00:18:13,935 Um, this-this is awkward because, you know, 420 00:18:13,969 --> 00:18:15,670 we're kind of friends. Oh, no, no, no. 421 00:18:15,704 --> 00:18:18,106 When my mouth has been where it's been on your body, 422 00:18:18,140 --> 00:18:19,607 I think we can safely say 423 00:18:19,642 --> 00:18:22,010 we are more than kind of friends. 424 00:18:22,044 --> 00:18:23,978 Yeah, of course. 425 00:18:24,013 --> 00:18:26,347 The thing is, you see, 426 00:18:26,382 --> 00:18:29,250 we've been investigating these murders on campus, 427 00:18:29,285 --> 00:18:30,618 and it's been really hard 428 00:18:30,653 --> 00:18:32,420 for us to connect them 429 00:18:32,454 --> 00:18:34,455 because we haven't been able to find a real motive. 430 00:18:34,490 --> 00:18:36,291 Oh, well, keep your chin up. 431 00:18:36,325 --> 00:18:38,526 I'm sure you'll figure something out. Ow. 432 00:18:38,560 --> 00:18:39,928 Right. 433 00:18:39,962 --> 00:18:41,829 Uh, the thing is, I kind of think we have. 434 00:18:41,864 --> 00:18:43,264 Hmm. 435 00:18:43,299 --> 00:18:44,766 Look, this is super awkward, 436 00:18:44,800 --> 00:18:46,100 but someone killed and dismembered 437 00:18:46,135 --> 00:18:47,368 your ex-husband last night, 438 00:18:47,403 --> 00:18:48,903 and they put his head in a fish tank. 439 00:18:50,806 --> 00:18:52,373 Please tell me they killed that bitch, Feather, too. 440 00:18:52,408 --> 00:18:54,442 No. She's fine, but me and the guys 441 00:18:54,476 --> 00:18:57,111 down at the station, we're pretty sure you did it. 442 00:18:57,146 --> 00:18:58,947 I'm sorry? 443 00:18:58,981 --> 00:18:59,948 I mean, you have motive, 444 00:18:59,982 --> 00:19:01,215 no one actually saw you 445 00:19:01,250 --> 00:19:02,884 at the White Stallion last night, 446 00:19:02,918 --> 00:19:04,285 and you have all of the markings 447 00:19:04,320 --> 00:19:05,520 of someone who's been in a fight. 448 00:19:05,554 --> 00:19:07,055 And since the murder was so brutal, 449 00:19:07,089 --> 00:19:09,324 it kind of makes sense that you might be 450 00:19:09,358 --> 00:19:10,825 behind all the recent killings. 451 00:19:10,859 --> 00:19:13,027 So, like, 452 00:19:13,062 --> 00:19:15,296 I'm sorry, but you're under arrest. 453 00:19:15,331 --> 00:19:17,131 Okay. 454 00:19:17,166 --> 00:19:19,400 Come on. 455 00:19:19,435 --> 00:19:21,536 Now, I'm not playing. Seriously, you're under arrest. 456 00:19:21,570 --> 00:19:22,704 Yeah, I know. 457 00:19:22,738 --> 00:19:23,905 Come on over. 458 00:19:23,939 --> 00:19:24,973 I'm serious. Stand up. 459 00:19:25,007 --> 00:19:26,874 Come make me. 460 00:19:26,909 --> 00:19:29,344 No, stand up. You're under arrest! Backup! 461 00:19:29,378 --> 00:19:30,712 Backup! 462 00:19:32,715 --> 00:19:33,548 What?! 463 00:19:33,582 --> 00:19:35,350 Oh, come on! 464 00:19:36,085 --> 00:19:36,884 Get her, boys. 465 00:19:36,919 --> 00:19:38,486 Come on, seriously? 466 00:19:38,520 --> 00:19:39,821 Are you sure 467 00:19:39,855 --> 00:19:41,689 this is really necessary? 468 00:19:41,724 --> 00:19:43,691 If you really are the Red Devil Killer, 469 00:19:43,726 --> 00:19:45,059 then you're exceptionally nuts. 470 00:19:45,094 --> 00:19:47,061 This is for our safety. 471 00:20:20,929 --> 00:20:22,363 I mean, look at this. She is the only suspect 472 00:20:22,398 --> 00:20:24,632 who could have been at every murder site. 473 00:20:24,667 --> 00:20:26,267 The only one that gets tricky is the one 474 00:20:26,302 --> 00:20:28,236 in the house when my dad and Gigi got attacked. 475 00:20:28,270 --> 00:20:29,771 Yeah, but according to the Dickie Dollar Scholars, 476 00:20:29,805 --> 00:20:31,139 there were two Red Devils, 477 00:20:31,173 --> 00:20:33,441 so it could have easily been her henchman. 478 00:20:33,475 --> 00:20:35,643 Look, she was involved in the cover-up 20 years ago, 479 00:20:35,678 --> 00:20:38,580 she has openly stated her hatred for Kappa, 480 00:20:38,614 --> 00:20:40,648 so motive is clearly not an issue. 481 00:20:40,683 --> 00:20:42,317 And there's been no new killings 482 00:20:42,351 --> 00:20:44,118 since they arrested her. 483 00:20:44,153 --> 00:20:47,088 Look, if we use your amazing chart as art for the story, 484 00:20:47,122 --> 00:20:50,325 I feel very comfortable with this headline. 485 00:20:50,359 --> 00:20:51,926 I was going to write, 486 00:20:51,961 --> 00:20:53,595 "Hottest Girl in School Figures Out Who the Killer Is," 487 00:20:53,629 --> 00:20:55,263 but it was too long. 488 00:21:00,169 --> 00:21:02,303 I mean, I can't believe we did it. 489 00:21:02,338 --> 00:21:04,105 I can't believe this is really over. 490 00:21:04,139 --> 00:21:05,974 I mean there are still so many questions to answer, 491 00:21:06,008 --> 00:21:07,609 you know, like, where is the baby 492 00:21:07,643 --> 00:21:09,811 and why did Dean Munsch decide to start doing this now, 493 00:21:09,845 --> 00:21:12,113 but I don't know, at least we know we're all safe again. 494 00:21:12,147 --> 00:21:13,615 Grace. 495 00:21:15,351 --> 00:21:17,919 You know how after the first time we kissed, 496 00:21:17,953 --> 00:21:20,455 you said we could not keep making out 497 00:21:20,489 --> 00:21:22,790 until we found who the killer was. 498 00:21:22,825 --> 00:21:24,592 That's true. You know, 499 00:21:24,627 --> 00:21:25,760 we couldn't waste time kissing 500 00:21:25,794 --> 00:21:27,095 when people were in danger. 501 00:21:27,129 --> 00:21:30,131 But now they're no longer in danger. 502 00:21:30,165 --> 00:21:31,332 I mean, you said it yourself. 503 00:21:31,367 --> 00:21:33,701 Did I? 504 00:21:35,004 --> 00:21:36,137 Well, then, I guess 505 00:21:36,171 --> 00:21:38,907 circumstances have changed. 506 00:21:52,254 --> 00:21:54,522 Um, I... 507 00:21:54,557 --> 00:21:55,823 I should... 508 00:21:55,858 --> 00:21:57,025 Can that just... 509 00:21:57,059 --> 00:21:58,326 Sorry, sorry. Please, yeah, yeah. 510 00:21:58,360 --> 00:22:01,229 Uh, hello? 511 00:22:02,531 --> 00:22:04,299 Oh, um, okay. 512 00:22:04,333 --> 00:22:05,900 Okay. See you soon. 513 00:22:08,671 --> 00:22:11,005 That was Dean Munsch calling from the mental hospital. 514 00:22:11,040 --> 00:22:12,907 She said she needs to see us tomorrow. 515 00:22:17,444 --> 00:22:19,621 Place is much nicer than I thought it'd be. 516 00:22:19,655 --> 00:22:22,657 We don't show visitors the gross parts of the hospital. 517 00:22:23,792 --> 00:22:25,059 It's too upsetting for them. 518 00:22:25,094 --> 00:22:26,661 Isn't it also 519 00:22:26,695 --> 00:22:27,729 upsetting for the patients? 520 00:22:27,763 --> 00:22:28,963 Nah. 521 00:22:28,998 --> 00:22:30,431 They don't care. They're nuts. 522 00:22:30,466 --> 00:22:32,500 Dean Munsch is this way. 523 00:22:37,473 --> 00:22:38,907 Dean Munsch? 524 00:22:38,941 --> 00:22:39,974 Ah. 525 00:22:40,009 --> 00:22:42,477 Grace, Peter, 526 00:22:42,511 --> 00:22:44,245 how lovely of you to visit. 527 00:22:44,280 --> 00:22:45,480 Please, pull up a chair. 528 00:22:45,514 --> 00:22:46,948 I was just doing a little sketching. 529 00:22:46,982 --> 00:22:51,085 Designing formal wear is an old hobby of mine. 530 00:22:51,120 --> 00:22:53,154 With the running of the school, I just haven't had 531 00:22:53,189 --> 00:22:54,989 a minute to sketch at all. 532 00:22:55,024 --> 00:22:57,759 Look what I've been able to accomplish 533 00:22:57,793 --> 00:22:59,694 with a little free time. 534 00:22:59,728 --> 00:23:02,130 Wait, you like it here? 535 00:23:02,164 --> 00:23:04,466 Mm. This needs ice. 536 00:23:04,500 --> 00:23:07,435 Therapy twice a day. 537 00:23:07,470 --> 00:23:11,606 Plenty of time to rest and dream again, you know. 538 00:23:11,640 --> 00:23:14,776 No booze, obviously, but the meds are divine. 539 00:23:14,810 --> 00:23:16,544 The little blue ones 540 00:23:16,579 --> 00:23:20,114 make you feel like your organs are floating in a warm bath. Mm. 541 00:23:20,149 --> 00:23:22,984 I mean, Picasso over there, she's been here 30 years. 542 00:23:23,018 --> 00:23:25,386 She can leave whenever she wants. 543 00:23:25,421 --> 00:23:27,455 She knows it doesn't get any better than this. 544 00:23:27,490 --> 00:23:30,425 She likes to paint the patients. 545 00:23:33,095 --> 00:23:35,096 I paint them all. 546 00:23:38,567 --> 00:23:40,802 I'm sorry, I just don't understand 547 00:23:40,836 --> 00:23:42,403 why you called us down here. 548 00:23:42,438 --> 00:23:45,406 Look, I know Detective Chisolm. 549 00:23:45,441 --> 00:23:48,343 And he's a nice man, but he's lazy. 550 00:23:48,377 --> 00:23:51,913 He thinks this case is solved, but it's not. 551 00:23:51,947 --> 00:23:53,848 And I know you two are 552 00:23:53,883 --> 00:23:56,417 crackerjack investigative reporters, 553 00:23:56,452 --> 00:23:58,853 and if I give you an acorn, you're not gonna rest 554 00:23:58,888 --> 00:24:01,022 until it is a giant tree. 555 00:24:01,056 --> 00:24:04,392 And I'm not gonna rest until Feather is hanging from a noose 556 00:24:04,426 --> 00:24:05,827 from its highest branch, 557 00:24:05,861 --> 00:24:07,896 executed by the state for the crime 558 00:24:07,930 --> 00:24:10,231 of murdering my ex-husband. 559 00:24:10,266 --> 00:24:12,000 You think Feather killed him? 560 00:24:12,034 --> 00:24:13,434 Oh, I know she did. 561 00:24:13,469 --> 00:24:15,003 And I wouldn't be surprised 562 00:24:15,037 --> 00:24:16,871 if she had something to do with 563 00:24:16,906 --> 00:24:18,740 the other killings going on around here. 564 00:24:18,774 --> 00:24:20,608 The girl is trouble. 565 00:24:20,643 --> 00:24:22,277 She always has been. 566 00:24:22,311 --> 00:24:23,611 You know, I knew she was no good 567 00:24:23,646 --> 00:24:25,680 as soon as I saw her in that bathtub. 568 00:24:25,714 --> 00:24:28,583 I don't trust a girl with a huge bush of pubic hair. 569 00:24:28,617 --> 00:24:30,218 Makes me think she has something to hide. 570 00:24:30,252 --> 00:24:32,053 You mean when you tried to electrocute her? 571 00:24:32,087 --> 00:24:33,621 Here's the thing, Dean. 572 00:24:33,656 --> 00:24:36,891 We already did our story on the death of your ex-husband, 573 00:24:36,926 --> 00:24:38,860 and it all led to you. 574 00:24:38,894 --> 00:24:39,961 And now the story 575 00:24:39,995 --> 00:24:41,729 that we're working on 576 00:24:41,764 --> 00:24:44,032 is about what happened to that baby. 577 00:24:44,066 --> 00:24:46,701 Well, okay. 578 00:24:46,735 --> 00:24:49,270 You want to play quid pro quo, Clarice? 579 00:24:50,339 --> 00:24:52,207 Then you run along 580 00:24:52,241 --> 00:24:54,542 and you look into Feather for me. 581 00:24:54,577 --> 00:24:56,077 And when you bring back the dirt on her, 582 00:24:56,111 --> 00:24:58,780 then I'll tell you about the little baby. 583 00:24:58,814 --> 00:25:00,315 Lunchtime. 584 00:25:01,350 --> 00:25:03,084 Really? 585 00:25:03,119 --> 00:25:07,889 Nurse, I specifically told you I cannot eat deli meats. 586 00:25:07,923 --> 00:25:11,392 The sulfites in them send me into anaphylactic shock. 587 00:25:11,427 --> 00:25:15,130 No salami and certainly no bologna! 588 00:25:15,164 --> 00:25:16,498 Really! 589 00:25:16,532 --> 00:25:18,633 It's a lawsuit! 590 00:25:20,302 --> 00:25:21,903 So do we have an agreement? 591 00:25:21,937 --> 00:25:22,971 We do. 592 00:25:23,005 --> 00:25:24,172 Excellent. 593 00:25:24,206 --> 00:25:27,175 Fine. I'll be your lackey, 594 00:25:27,209 --> 00:25:29,644 but just because we want that info on that baby. 595 00:25:29,678 --> 00:25:32,647 And I want you to know that I think you killed them all, 596 00:25:32,681 --> 00:25:35,850 and I hope you get the electric chair for it. 597 00:25:37,620 --> 00:25:40,422 Come on. 598 00:25:40,456 --> 00:25:41,856 Pete. 599 00:25:47,129 --> 00:25:49,130 Hey. 600 00:25:51,634 --> 00:25:53,968 Oh. Um, wow. 601 00:25:54,003 --> 00:25:55,937 You work fast. 602 00:25:55,971 --> 00:25:58,206 I paint them all. 603 00:26:00,009 --> 00:26:01,242 Well, thanks. 604 00:26:05,247 --> 00:26:06,714 Hey. 605 00:26:09,518 --> 00:26:12,453 How did you get Chisolm to give you all these? 606 00:26:12,488 --> 00:26:16,224 I threatened to file a Freedom of Information Act suit. Mm. 607 00:26:16,258 --> 00:26:18,660 Doesn't that take a long time to go through? 608 00:26:18,694 --> 00:26:21,062 Yeah, but I told him it would mean weeks of paperwork 609 00:26:21,097 --> 00:26:23,031 and a trip or two down to the courthouse, 610 00:26:23,065 --> 00:26:25,700 so he just handed me the key to his file cabinet. 611 00:26:25,734 --> 00:26:27,402 It's amazing, Dean Munsch is right. 612 00:26:27,436 --> 00:26:29,838 He's seriously the laziest detective of all time. 613 00:26:29,872 --> 00:26:30,839 Look. 614 00:26:30,873 --> 00:26:32,040 What is that? 615 00:26:32,074 --> 00:26:34,609 Looks like a half-eaten sandwich. 616 00:26:37,346 --> 00:26:39,214 "Investigators found a half-eaten sandwich 617 00:26:39,248 --> 00:26:41,316 "covered in bloody fingerprints near the lower right leg 618 00:26:41,350 --> 00:26:42,851 "of the departed Dr. Munsch. 619 00:26:42,885 --> 00:26:44,252 "Fingerprints were obscured by gloves, 620 00:26:44,286 --> 00:26:45,553 "but considering that the blood on the bread 621 00:26:45,588 --> 00:26:47,188 "was Dr. Munsch's and that his hand 622 00:26:47,223 --> 00:26:48,823 "was found clear across the room 623 00:26:48,858 --> 00:26:50,692 "and without any gloves on, investigators surmise 624 00:26:50,726 --> 00:26:53,695 that the killer made a sandwich after murdering Dr. Munsch." 625 00:26:53,729 --> 00:26:57,432 Does it say what kind of sandwich it was? 626 00:26:57,466 --> 00:27:00,568 Um... 627 00:27:00,603 --> 00:27:02,604 Bologna. 628 00:27:02,638 --> 00:27:04,672 Dean Munsch said she'd go into shock if she ate bologna. 629 00:27:04,707 --> 00:27:06,741 Which means she couldn't have made and eaten the sandwich. 630 00:27:06,775 --> 00:27:09,444 Which means she couldn't have killed her ex-husband. 631 00:27:09,478 --> 00:27:11,412 Which means the killer is still out there. 632 00:27:11,447 --> 00:27:13,948 Oh, my God, do you think she's right and it's Feather? 633 00:27:13,983 --> 00:27:16,417 We need to get some of Feather's DNA and compare it 634 00:27:16,452 --> 00:27:19,554 to the DNA on the bologna sandwich. 635 00:27:19,588 --> 00:27:20,922 Her toothbrush. 636 00:27:20,956 --> 00:27:22,457 It must still be at the crime scene, right? 637 00:27:22,491 --> 00:27:24,592 Let's go. If she really is the killer, 638 00:27:24,627 --> 00:27:26,428 then she could strike again at any time. 639 00:27:26,462 --> 00:27:27,929 Means none of us are safe. 640 00:27:27,963 --> 00:27:29,297 Let's go. 641 00:27:34,937 --> 00:27:39,808 Chanel #2, we're contacting you from beyond the grave. 642 00:27:39,842 --> 00:27:41,142 Again. 643 00:27:41,177 --> 00:27:43,178 Are you there, Chanel #2? 644 00:27:48,184 --> 00:27:50,952 Hi. Chanel #2, it's Chanel. 645 00:27:50,986 --> 00:27:52,887 I've frickin' had it with you! 646 00:27:52,922 --> 00:27:54,289 Thanks a bunch for lying and saying 647 00:27:54,323 --> 00:27:56,124 that Chad was cheating on me with a goat, 648 00:27:56,158 --> 00:27:57,926 when in reality, he has a disability 649 00:27:57,960 --> 00:28:00,428 and needs healthful, lactose-free goat's milk. 650 00:28:00,463 --> 00:28:03,064 Technically, she just said that he was cheating, 651 00:28:03,099 --> 00:28:05,066 but she never said anything about a goat. 652 00:28:05,101 --> 00:28:07,068 Don't interrupt me when I'm talking to a dead girl! 653 00:28:07,103 --> 00:28:08,903 Chanel #2, 654 00:28:08,938 --> 00:28:11,940 if this is really you, use your magical dead powers 655 00:28:11,974 --> 00:28:14,642 to tell me how many tampons I have in my purse. 656 00:28:17,113 --> 00:28:18,113 Oh, my God! 657 00:28:18,147 --> 00:28:21,282 She is right. She is right. 658 00:28:21,317 --> 00:28:22,584 Why do you have nine tampons? 659 00:28:22,618 --> 00:28:23,952 How big is your cooch? 660 00:28:34,230 --> 00:28:36,865 Chanel #2, 661 00:28:36,899 --> 00:28:39,501 if it's really you, use your special dead telepathy 662 00:28:39,535 --> 00:28:42,137 to answer a question no one knows the answer to but me. 663 00:28:42,171 --> 00:28:44,339 When I was two, what breakfast cereal 664 00:28:44,373 --> 00:28:47,776 did I accidentally breathe into my lungs and nearly die? 665 00:28:47,810 --> 00:28:50,779 Oh, my God, it's moving. 666 00:28:50,813 --> 00:28:52,747 I... 667 00:28:54,750 --> 00:28:55,850 X... 668 00:28:55,885 --> 00:28:57,952 Dix? You choked on Dix? 669 00:28:57,987 --> 00:28:59,354 Kix! 670 00:28:59,388 --> 00:29:00,555 I choked on Kix. 671 00:29:01,691 --> 00:29:03,491 It's real. She knew. 672 00:29:03,526 --> 00:29:06,361 Okay, guys, I really think we should stop, 673 00:29:06,395 --> 00:29:08,396 because this is really, really freaking me out. 674 00:29:08,431 --> 00:29:09,998 No, hooker! We're not stopping. 675 00:29:11,200 --> 00:29:12,867 If this really is Chanel #2, 676 00:29:12,902 --> 00:29:15,136 then she'll know the answer to the real question. 677 00:29:15,171 --> 00:29:17,772 Chanel #2, who's killing everybody? 678 00:29:27,750 --> 00:29:29,250 She says you are. 679 00:29:29,285 --> 00:29:31,219 That's it! 680 00:29:31,253 --> 00:29:34,422 I am done with this dead, lying bitch! 681 00:29:34,457 --> 00:29:36,091 I'm done with you, Number Two! 682 00:29:36,125 --> 00:29:39,928 Have fun in hell going to dinner with Osama bin Laden. 683 00:29:45,267 --> 00:29:46,735 Get in here. Close the door. 684 00:29:48,537 --> 00:29:51,039 Chanel #2 is telling us the truth from beyond the grave. 685 00:29:51,073 --> 00:29:53,241 Chanel is the killer. 686 00:29:53,275 --> 00:29:55,443 But, I mean, can we really trust a satanic talking board? 687 00:29:55,478 --> 00:29:57,245 It knew how many tampons. 688 00:29:57,279 --> 00:29:58,913 Talking boards tend not to hold up in court. 689 00:29:58,948 --> 00:30:01,116 Even if it did, there's no jail that can hold her. 690 00:30:01,150 --> 00:30:03,551 Last time we sent her to jail, she immediately got bailed out. 691 00:30:03,586 --> 00:30:05,020 I mean, yeah, by me, but... 692 00:30:05,054 --> 00:30:07,722 No one is safe. She's onto us. 693 00:30:07,757 --> 00:30:09,791 She is the killer, and she is gonna come after us. 694 00:30:09,825 --> 00:30:11,259 There's only one solution. 695 00:30:11,294 --> 00:30:12,560 Flee? 696 00:30:12,595 --> 00:30:13,762 No! 697 00:30:13,796 --> 00:30:16,598 We have to kill Chanel. 698 00:30:24,154 --> 00:30:26,155 Okay. So we're all agreed Chanel has to die. 699 00:30:26,190 --> 00:30:27,657 - Right? - Right. 700 00:30:27,691 --> 00:30:28,758 Yeah, okay, I guess. 701 00:30:28,792 --> 00:30:30,093 But the question is: how? 702 00:30:30,127 --> 00:30:32,128 We have to be super sneaky about it, 703 00:30:32,162 --> 00:30:34,130 because if we're not, she'll smell a rat and kill us first. 704 00:30:34,164 --> 00:30:36,299 - I say we poison her bras. - What? 705 00:30:36,333 --> 00:30:37,867 We soak all of her bras in poison, 706 00:30:37,901 --> 00:30:39,635 and then once they dry and she puts one on, 707 00:30:39,670 --> 00:30:40,970 we're like, "Chanel, there's a new 708 00:30:41,004 --> 00:30:42,972 Barneys Co-op down the street. Hurry." 709 00:30:43,006 --> 00:30:44,974 And then she'll put one on, and she'll start running, 710 00:30:45,008 --> 00:30:47,276 and she'll start to sweat, and then the poison will 711 00:30:47,311 --> 00:30:49,312 seep through her nips and kill her. 712 00:30:49,346 --> 00:30:50,980 That's a horrible idea! 713 00:30:51,014 --> 00:30:51,981 Okay. 714 00:30:52,015 --> 00:30:53,049 How about this? 715 00:30:53,083 --> 00:30:54,484 We take all of Chanel's diamonds 716 00:30:54,518 --> 00:30:56,619 and we crush them into a powder, and then we have 717 00:30:56,653 --> 00:30:58,488 a sugar party where everyone eats bowls of sugar. 718 00:30:58,522 --> 00:31:00,123 Except Chanel's bowl isn't filled with sugar, 719 00:31:00,157 --> 00:31:01,991 it's powdered diamonds 720 00:31:02,025 --> 00:31:05,127 that slice open her esophagus and kill her from the inside. 721 00:31:05,162 --> 00:31:07,497 What the hell is a sugar party? 722 00:31:07,531 --> 00:31:08,798 Okay, who just 723 00:31:08,832 --> 00:31:10,333 sits around eating bowls of sugar? 724 00:31:10,367 --> 00:31:11,968 And how do you even crush a diamond? 725 00:31:12,002 --> 00:31:13,369 It's, like, the hardest substance on Earth. 726 00:31:13,404 --> 00:31:14,370 Shut up, Number Five. 727 00:31:14,404 --> 00:31:16,005 It's a great idea. 728 00:31:16,039 --> 00:31:17,407 You're just pissed you didn't think of it. 729 00:31:17,441 --> 00:31:18,441 Think of what? 730 00:31:21,011 --> 00:31:22,712 What's a great idea? 731 00:31:22,746 --> 00:31:23,913 Nothing, Chanel. We were just talking about 732 00:31:23,947 --> 00:31:25,348 throwing a sugar party. 733 00:31:25,382 --> 00:31:26,682 Oh, where everyone just eats bowls of sugar? 734 00:31:26,717 --> 00:31:27,683 Yeah, I love those. 735 00:31:27,718 --> 00:31:29,218 Love it. 736 00:31:29,253 --> 00:31:30,386 Has anyone seen my Prunex? 737 00:31:30,420 --> 00:31:32,822 I'm not feeling well. 738 00:31:32,856 --> 00:31:34,323 What's Prunex? 739 00:31:34,358 --> 00:31:36,359 It's a liquid laxative, Number Five! 740 00:31:36,393 --> 00:31:37,727 Some of us with souls, who aren't 741 00:31:37,761 --> 00:31:40,196 friendless psychopaths, find that the stress 742 00:31:40,230 --> 00:31:41,864 of having a mass-murderer on campus 743 00:31:41,899 --> 00:31:43,666 makes them slightly irregular. 744 00:31:43,700 --> 00:31:46,436 Now, I'm taking some Prunex and I'm going to bed! 745 00:31:47,471 --> 00:31:49,405 Here it is. Hmm. 746 00:31:50,441 --> 00:31:52,442 Good night, sluts. 747 00:31:58,415 --> 00:32:00,516 We're doing it. Tonight. 748 00:32:00,551 --> 00:32:02,752 Once the Prunex knocks her out cold, 749 00:32:02,786 --> 00:32:04,754 we're murdering Chanel. 750 00:32:08,125 --> 00:32:10,126 ♪ ♪ 751 00:32:26,910 --> 00:32:28,411 You. 752 00:32:28,445 --> 00:32:30,079 What are you doing here? 753 00:32:30,114 --> 00:32:32,048 Hey, Chanel. It's Chanel #2. 754 00:32:32,082 --> 00:32:33,416 Yeah, I know who you are. 755 00:32:33,450 --> 00:32:34,617 I asked what you're doing here. 756 00:32:34,651 --> 00:32:35,752 I thought you were dead. 757 00:32:35,786 --> 00:32:37,887 I am dead. I'm burning in hell. 758 00:32:37,921 --> 00:32:40,223 I came back from the grave to apologize to you. 759 00:32:40,257 --> 00:32:42,158 What? Seriously? 760 00:32:42,192 --> 00:32:43,259 That's right. 761 00:32:43,293 --> 00:32:44,460 See, despite what you've heard, 762 00:32:44,495 --> 00:32:46,262 hell sucks; it's not fun. 763 00:32:46,296 --> 00:32:47,663 Yes, there are waterslides, 764 00:32:47,698 --> 00:32:49,132 but they're lined with razor blades 765 00:32:49,166 --> 00:32:51,267 and you splash down into a pool of boiling pee. 766 00:32:51,301 --> 00:32:52,268 Also, 767 00:32:52,302 --> 00:32:53,336 zero dinosaurs. 768 00:32:53,370 --> 00:32:54,470 There's no dinosaurs? 769 00:32:54,505 --> 00:32:56,105 No. As soon as I got there, 770 00:32:56,140 --> 00:32:57,740 I was like, "Where are the dinosaurs?" 771 00:32:57,775 --> 00:32:59,675 And they were like, "We know. 772 00:32:59,710 --> 00:33:01,010 Jesus broke in and stole them." 773 00:33:02,279 --> 00:33:04,313 Also, do you know what my job is? 774 00:33:04,348 --> 00:33:05,782 I have to pick food 775 00:33:05,816 --> 00:33:07,950 out of Uday and Qusay Hussein's beards 776 00:33:07,985 --> 00:33:10,653 - with my teeth for the rest of eternity. - Ew. 777 00:33:10,687 --> 00:33:12,822 So yesterday I marched right up to the front desk 778 00:33:12,856 --> 00:33:14,690 and I'm like, "What do I have to do to get to Heaven?" 779 00:33:14,725 --> 00:33:16,292 And do you know what Carl Sagan said to me? 780 00:33:16,326 --> 00:33:17,593 That I had to make 781 00:33:17,628 --> 00:33:19,162 things right with you, Chanel. 782 00:33:19,196 --> 00:33:21,097 So that's what I'm here to do. 783 00:33:21,131 --> 00:33:22,498 The truth is, 784 00:33:22,533 --> 00:33:24,500 I always admired you. 785 00:33:24,535 --> 00:33:26,702 I'm sorry I never told you. 786 00:33:26,737 --> 00:33:30,540 I guess I was just intimidated by your beauty and intelligence. 787 00:33:32,142 --> 00:33:34,343 And I'm sorry I had sex with Chad Radwell. 788 00:33:34,378 --> 00:33:36,479 I was just jealous. I wanted what you had, 789 00:33:36,513 --> 00:33:39,282 and I really needed my tube packed. 790 00:33:39,316 --> 00:33:41,684 Well, why did you use that satanic talking board 791 00:33:41,718 --> 00:33:43,453 to tell everyone he cheated on me 792 00:33:43,487 --> 00:33:44,787 and that I was the killer? 793 00:33:44,822 --> 00:33:46,489 I don't know. I'm sorry. 794 00:33:46,523 --> 00:33:48,324 I was just probably in a bad mood 795 00:33:48,358 --> 00:33:50,460 'cause Adolf Hitler was motor-boating my boobs. 796 00:33:50,494 --> 00:33:53,663 Well, thank you, Chanel #2. 797 00:33:53,697 --> 00:33:57,133 I accept your apology. 798 00:33:57,167 --> 00:33:59,535 And I'm sorry you got murdered and are dead. 799 00:33:59,570 --> 00:34:02,205 There's something else I should tell you, 800 00:34:02,239 --> 00:34:04,974 something important. 801 00:34:05,008 --> 00:34:06,476 The other Chanels are gonna try to murder you, Chanel. 802 00:34:06,510 --> 00:34:08,244 They're gonna try to murder you tonight. 803 00:34:08,278 --> 00:34:09,879 What? They're on their way back from the mall 804 00:34:09,913 --> 00:34:10,913 with a bowling ball they're gonna use 805 00:34:10,948 --> 00:34:12,315 to bash your skull in 806 00:34:12,349 --> 00:34:13,983 as soon as you pass out from your Prunex. 807 00:34:14,017 --> 00:34:15,685 Well, looks like I'll have to kill them first. 808 00:34:15,719 --> 00:34:17,186 No! Be the bigger person! 809 00:34:18,255 --> 00:34:19,388 These girls need you. 810 00:34:19,423 --> 00:34:21,023 Kappa House needs you. 811 00:34:21,058 --> 00:34:22,859 Now rise up 812 00:34:22,893 --> 00:34:24,761 and be the leader I know you can be. 813 00:34:50,474 --> 00:34:52,342 - Are you okay? - Yeah, I just, 814 00:34:52,376 --> 00:34:54,310 I just get a little faint when I see blood. 815 00:34:55,479 --> 00:34:57,347 All right, let's go. 816 00:34:57,381 --> 00:34:59,349 Which one do you think is hers? 817 00:34:59,383 --> 00:35:01,084 The pink one. It looks newer. 818 00:35:01,118 --> 00:35:03,186 Old people toothbrushes are always super worn down 819 00:35:03,220 --> 00:35:04,854 and have that rubber tip thing at the end. 820 00:35:04,889 --> 00:35:06,589 Okay. so now we have to give this to the cops 821 00:35:06,624 --> 00:35:08,791 so we can compare the DNA and wait for the results. 822 00:35:08,826 --> 00:35:10,860 All right, all right, all right. 823 00:35:10,895 --> 00:35:12,762 A perfect DNA match. 824 00:35:12,797 --> 00:35:14,364 That is what the lab said. 825 00:35:14,398 --> 00:35:16,232 The person that used this toothbrush 826 00:35:16,267 --> 00:35:19,035 is the same person that bit into that bologna sandwich. 827 00:35:19,069 --> 00:35:20,470 I should have figured it out myself. 828 00:35:20,504 --> 00:35:22,539 It always bugged me why someone 829 00:35:22,573 --> 00:35:23,940 would go through all that effort 830 00:35:23,974 --> 00:35:26,042 to make a sandwich and not finish it. 831 00:35:26,076 --> 00:35:27,210 It's pretty suspicious behavior. 832 00:35:27,244 --> 00:35:29,579 So the DNA on that toothbrush 833 00:35:29,613 --> 00:35:32,215 and the sandwich definitely belongs to Feather? 834 00:35:32,249 --> 00:35:34,083 Without a doubt, she killed him. 835 00:35:34,118 --> 00:35:36,219 And I guess all of that killing 836 00:35:36,253 --> 00:35:37,754 and dismembering 837 00:35:37,788 --> 00:35:39,589 and pretending that it wasn't her 838 00:35:39,623 --> 00:35:41,057 made her hungry... 839 00:35:41,091 --> 00:35:43,560 But not that hungry. 840 00:35:43,594 --> 00:35:45,662 If she would only have had a bigger appetite, 841 00:35:45,696 --> 00:35:46,896 she might have gotten away with it. 842 00:35:46,931 --> 00:35:48,798 Anyway, great work guys. 843 00:35:48,833 --> 00:35:50,300 The force owes you one. 844 00:35:50,334 --> 00:35:51,935 The whole campus does, I suppose. 845 00:35:51,969 --> 00:35:54,904 Clearly Feather McCarthy is our Red Devil. 846 00:35:54,939 --> 00:35:56,306 But what about Dean Munsch? 847 00:35:56,340 --> 00:35:58,508 Oh, Mommy's home. 848 00:35:58,542 --> 00:36:01,477 I was released as soon as Feather was arrested. 849 00:36:01,512 --> 00:36:02,645 I'm sorry 850 00:36:02,680 --> 00:36:03,913 I didn't get to see her 851 00:36:03,948 --> 00:36:05,281 dragged away in chains. 852 00:36:05,316 --> 00:36:06,916 I heard she cried like a little bitch. 853 00:36:06,951 --> 00:36:08,451 Do you really think she's responsible 854 00:36:08,486 --> 00:36:10,186 for all of the killings on campus? 855 00:36:10,221 --> 00:36:12,922 And how is she related to what happened here in 1995? 856 00:36:12,957 --> 00:36:14,591 Well, I can't be sure, 857 00:36:14,625 --> 00:36:17,093 but what I do know is that Feather McCarthy 858 00:36:17,128 --> 00:36:18,561 is Feather McNutty. 859 00:36:19,663 --> 00:36:21,164 I did a little digging, 860 00:36:21,198 --> 00:36:24,200 and it turns out that Feather had a Web site 861 00:36:24,235 --> 00:36:27,670 called "ILoveBologna.org". 862 00:36:27,705 --> 00:36:29,305 And she's what a psychiatrist 863 00:36:29,340 --> 00:36:32,208 friend of mine refers to as a "capicolaphilist" 864 00:36:32,243 --> 00:36:34,144 which is not, as I thought, someone who's turned on 865 00:36:34,178 --> 00:36:35,445 by the sight and feel 866 00:36:35,479 --> 00:36:36,880 of lunch meats but, 867 00:36:36,914 --> 00:36:38,448 more disgustingly, someone who's turned on 868 00:36:38,482 --> 00:36:41,050 by someone who pronounces bologna 869 00:36:41,085 --> 00:36:42,986 the way it's spelled... "bow-log-na." 870 00:36:43,020 --> 00:36:44,487 That is what we down at the station 871 00:36:44,522 --> 00:36:46,456 like to call an "orgy of evidence." 872 00:36:46,490 --> 00:36:47,857 Mmm. 873 00:36:47,892 --> 00:36:49,859 Now, we don't actually have a motive 874 00:36:49,894 --> 00:36:51,161 that ties her to all 875 00:36:51,195 --> 00:36:52,829 the other recent killings, 876 00:36:52,863 --> 00:36:54,631 but, you know, statistically speaking, 877 00:36:54,665 --> 00:36:56,466 the chances that there is a woman capable 878 00:36:56,500 --> 00:36:58,334 of murdering and dismembering 879 00:36:58,369 --> 00:37:00,203 her boyfriend and then a whole other 880 00:37:00,237 --> 00:37:01,671 crazy, creative killer 881 00:37:01,705 --> 00:37:04,807 on one campus at the same time are pretty slim. 882 00:37:04,842 --> 00:37:07,844 I didn't run the numbers, but they'd have to be, right? 883 00:37:07,878 --> 00:37:09,579 Yes. 884 00:37:09,613 --> 00:37:11,314 And thanks to you two go-getters, 885 00:37:11,348 --> 00:37:13,082 order has not just been restored... 886 00:37:13,117 --> 00:37:15,084 It has been improved! 887 00:37:15,119 --> 00:37:16,719 Hold on. 888 00:37:17,721 --> 00:37:20,223 What? We had a deal. 889 00:37:20,257 --> 00:37:21,658 Tell me what happened to the baby. 890 00:37:21,692 --> 00:37:24,093 And how Feather is related to all this. 891 00:37:24,128 --> 00:37:25,495 No way she's the killer 892 00:37:25,529 --> 00:37:26,996 if she doesn't have a connection. 893 00:37:27,031 --> 00:37:29,566 Come to my office alone. 894 00:37:29,600 --> 00:37:30,767 Next week. 895 00:37:30,801 --> 00:37:32,068 Next week? 896 00:37:32,102 --> 00:37:33,336 I'm running 897 00:37:33,370 --> 00:37:35,171 an institution of higher learning 898 00:37:35,206 --> 00:37:37,207 and designing dresses for awards season. 899 00:37:38,209 --> 00:37:40,043 Give me a break. 900 00:37:42,546 --> 00:37:44,514 I'm gonna cut to the chase. 901 00:37:44,548 --> 00:37:46,416 I know what you three are up to. 902 00:37:46,450 --> 00:37:47,811 You're plotting to murder me. 903 00:37:47,848 --> 00:37:49,231 - What? - No! 904 00:37:49,262 --> 00:37:50,338 Chanel, that's insane. 905 00:37:50,357 --> 00:37:52,172 I would sooner kill my own mother. 906 00:37:52,184 --> 00:37:54,380 Can it, manatees! I know the truth 907 00:37:54,396 --> 00:37:56,385 because I'm smarter than all of you. 908 00:37:56,427 --> 00:37:59,696 What I'm curious about is what, exactly, is taking so long? 909 00:37:59,743 --> 00:38:01,926 - We couldn't agree on how to do it. - ‭Shh! Shut up, number three. 910 00:38:01,958 --> 00:38:03,759 Well, what method were you leaning towards? 911 00:38:03,786 --> 00:38:05,726 We were going to put rat poison in your Prunex. 912 00:38:05,743 --> 00:38:08,333 But I was worried you'd taste it and know you'd been poisoned 913 00:38:08,370 --> 00:38:09,459 and run to the hospital. 914 00:38:10,022 --> 00:38:12,256 See, this is why you turdlets need me. 915 00:38:12,300 --> 00:38:16,366 You're not even competent enough to kill one lousy sorority co-president. 916 00:38:16,385 --> 00:38:18,957 Newsflash, felchers: Rat poison only works 917 00:38:18,982 --> 00:38:20,771 Because rodents don't have a gag reflex. 918 00:38:20,891 --> 00:38:23,746 If you gave a human rat poison, they would immediately puke it all up, 919 00:38:23,990 --> 00:38:25,904 So not only would I have survived 920 00:38:25,936 --> 00:38:29,733 Your attempt on my life, it would have also made me skinnier. 921 00:38:29,853 --> 00:38:31,513 I'm so sorry, Chanel. 922 00:38:31,525 --> 00:38:32,876 It was stupid to try to murder you. 923 00:38:32,908 --> 00:38:34,741 We only did it because we thought that you were the killer! 924 00:38:34,760 --> 00:38:38,195 I'm willing to let bygones be bygones 925 00:38:38,226 --> 00:38:40,948 and chalk this attempted murder up to youthful enthusiasm. 926 00:38:40,979 --> 00:38:43,025 And I'm sorry, too. You're not the only ones 927 00:38:43,050 --> 00:38:44,514 who think I could be a better leader. 928 00:38:44,548 --> 00:38:46,012 Chanel #2 appeared to me last night 929 00:38:46,031 --> 00:38:49,134 in a prunex fever dream and said essentially the same thing. 930 00:38:50,173 --> 00:38:52,769 So in an effort to buy back your friendship, 931 00:38:53,126 --> 00:38:54,797 I got you all presents. 932 00:39:05,518 --> 00:39:08,258 We are gonna use these Nancy Drew-looking sleuthing caps 933 00:39:08,283 --> 00:39:10,079 and enormous magnifying glasses 934 00:39:10,091 --> 00:39:11,824 and catch the killer as a team. 935 00:39:11,849 --> 00:39:13,426 But they already caught the killer. 936 00:39:13,451 --> 00:39:15,685 Trust me. That Feather didn't kill anyone. 937 00:39:15,710 --> 00:39:16,892 She's too stupid. 938 00:39:16,928 --> 00:39:18,830 When I first met her, she asked me what my name was 939 00:39:18,855 --> 00:39:20,607 and then asked me what her name was. 940 00:39:20,727 --> 00:39:22,860 Wait, if Feather's not the killer, who is? 941 00:39:22,885 --> 00:39:26,082 There are two killers, and their names are Grace and Zayday. 942 00:39:26,563 --> 00:39:28,590 I'll remind you that this killing spree began 943 00:39:28,609 --> 00:39:30,279 when those two walked into this house. 944 00:39:30,542 --> 00:39:32,338 They're trying to bring down this sorority 945 00:39:32,363 --> 00:39:34,183 And steal our hot, popular boyfriends. 946 00:39:34,759 --> 00:39:36,279 The four of us are gonna expose 947 00:39:36,298 --> 00:39:38,169 those sluts for the killers they are 948 00:39:38,195 --> 00:39:40,416 and restore order to Kappa Kappa Tau. 949 00:39:40,635 --> 00:39:43,175 Do I make myself clear, you whores? 950 00:39:44,464 --> 00:39:45,277 Good. 951 00:40:00,478 --> 00:40:03,313 ♪ Beware of young girls ♪ 952 00:40:03,398 --> 00:40:04,948 ♪ Who come to the door ♪ 953 00:40:04,983 --> 00:40:08,284 ♪ Wistful and pale ♪ 954 00:40:08,320 --> 00:40:10,403 ♪ Of 20-and-four ♪ 955 00:40:10,488 --> 00:40:14,157 ♪ Delivering daisies ♪ 956 00:40:14,242 --> 00:40:17,160 ♪ With delicate hands... ♪ 957 00:40:17,245 --> 00:40:18,745 Munsch: I'm not gonna lie. 958 00:40:18,830 --> 00:40:20,330 I'm feeling good. 959 00:40:20,382 --> 00:40:23,833 ♪ Beware of young girls... ♪ 960 00:40:23,918 --> 00:40:25,635 And not because that little bitch feather 961 00:40:25,670 --> 00:40:26,836 Is going to prison 962 00:40:26,888 --> 00:40:28,871 After killing my ex-husband. 963 00:40:28,940 --> 00:40:31,140 I'm feeling good because she's going to prison 964 00:40:31,176 --> 00:40:33,009 After not killing him. 965 00:40:33,094 --> 00:40:36,562 Feather didn't kill my hubby. 966 00:40:36,648 --> 00:40:39,399 I did. 967 00:40:39,484 --> 00:40:41,484 With a serial killer on the loose, 968 00:40:41,519 --> 00:40:43,686 It was perfect timing. 969 00:40:43,772 --> 00:40:46,072 I knew the murder would probably just get lumped in 970 00:40:46,157 --> 00:40:47,907 With all the others. 971 00:40:47,993 --> 00:40:49,909 And with the cops desperate to stop the killer 972 00:40:49,995 --> 00:40:51,828 Before he killed again, 973 00:40:51,863 --> 00:40:53,162 I knew they'd be sloppy with the evidence. 974 00:40:53,198 --> 00:40:59,285 ♪ She admired my wedding ring ♪ 975 00:40:59,371 --> 00:41:02,705 ♪ She was my friend, my friend, my friend ♪ 976 00:41:02,791 --> 00:41:05,541 Oh, I had the bologna idea years ago, 977 00:41:05,593 --> 00:41:07,677 When a cherubic little co-ed 978 00:41:07,712 --> 00:41:09,846 Wandered into my office. 979 00:41:09,881 --> 00:41:11,381 I think that I should get at least 980 00:41:11,433 --> 00:41:13,266 Three credit hours of foreign language 981 00:41:13,351 --> 00:41:15,218 Because my family just summered in bologna. 982 00:41:15,303 --> 00:41:17,387 Do you know where bologna is? 983 00:41:17,439 --> 00:41:18,554 It's in Italy. 984 00:41:18,640 --> 00:41:19,889 Bologna's amazing. 985 00:41:19,941 --> 00:41:21,307 Bologna's my favorite. 986 00:41:21,393 --> 00:41:22,725 I love bologna. 987 00:41:22,811 --> 00:41:25,028 Bologna, bologna, bologna. 988 00:41:25,063 --> 00:41:26,813 I could go on about bologna all day long. 989 00:41:26,898 --> 00:41:29,615 You know, 990 00:41:29,701 --> 00:41:33,403 If you love bologna so much, 991 00:41:33,455 --> 00:41:35,538 Why don't you start a blog about it? 992 00:41:36,991 --> 00:41:38,074 I could definitely get you 993 00:41:38,159 --> 00:41:39,876 Some class credit for that. 994 00:41:39,911 --> 00:41:41,994 That's a really good idea! 995 00:41:43,081 --> 00:41:43,913 Thank you! 996 00:41:43,965 --> 00:41:45,798 You're welcome. 997 00:41:45,884 --> 00:41:48,751 ♪ I thought her motives were sincere, oh, yes... ♪ 998 00:41:48,837 --> 00:41:51,304 You know, dean munsch, 999 00:41:51,389 --> 00:41:53,172 You're really lucky. 1000 00:41:54,392 --> 00:41:56,092 Your husband is really cute. 1001 00:41:57,846 --> 00:41:59,645 Bye! 1002 00:41:59,731 --> 00:42:01,514 ♪ She admired my own sweet man ♪ 1003 00:42:01,599 --> 00:42:04,984 ♪ We were friends, oh, yes, we were ♪ 1004 00:42:05,070 --> 00:42:08,071 Munsch: Sorry, Feather, 1005 00:42:08,106 --> 00:42:12,525 But you messed with the wrong dean of students 1006 00:42:12,610 --> 00:42:14,327 I didn't do it! 1007 00:42:14,412 --> 00:42:18,448 You have to believe me! 1008 00:42:18,533 --> 00:42:19,866 No, no, no, no! 1009 00:42:19,951 --> 00:42:21,701 Please! 1010 00:42:21,786 --> 00:42:23,336 Please, I'm innocent! 1011 00:42:23,421 --> 00:42:24,504 I loved him! 1012 00:42:24,589 --> 00:42:26,422 I loved him! 1013 00:42:26,458 --> 00:42:28,374 Munsch: Here's to young girls 1014 00:42:28,460 --> 00:42:30,877 Getting what they had coming to them. 1015 00:42:30,962 --> 00:42:33,596 ♪ Wistful and pale ♪ 1016 00:42:33,631 --> 00:42:35,798 You know what they say-- 1017 00:42:35,884 --> 00:42:39,602 "nothing tastes as good as revenge feels." 1018 00:42:39,637 --> 00:42:41,220 Actually, they don't say it. 1019 00:42:41,306 --> 00:42:43,189 I just sort of made that up. 1020 00:42:43,274 --> 00:42:44,640 But here's something they do say... 1021 00:42:44,726 --> 00:42:47,310 "hell hath no fury 1022 00:42:47,362 --> 00:42:50,113 Like a woman scorned." 1023 00:42:50,148 --> 00:42:52,448 You can't do this! Please! 1024 00:42:52,484 --> 00:42:54,951 No! No! 1025 00:42:54,986 --> 00:42:58,955 No, no, no. 1026 00:42:58,990 --> 00:43:01,374 ...Was so cute, but you know me. 1027 00:43:01,459 --> 00:43:02,708 I've got to stay focused. 1028 00:43:02,794 --> 00:43:04,377 I cannot have him... 1029 00:43:04,462 --> 00:43:06,078 Oh, Zayday! 1030 00:43:06,164 --> 00:43:08,164 Are you hungry, 'cause I'm hungry. 1031 00:43:08,216 --> 00:43:11,501 ♪ Beware of young girls ♪ 1032 00:43:12,887 --> 00:43:17,077 ♪ Beware of young girls. ♪ 1033 00:43:17,723 --> 00:43:20,232 ♪ Beware ♪ 1034 00:43:20,733 --> 00:43:25,869 Sync & corrections by wilson0804 www.Addic7ed.com 73846

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