All language subtitles for Living Single - S02 E26 - Talk Showdown (480p - HULU Web-DL)

Rough day?

I knew you were
gonna ask me that.

What's wrong?

I knew you were
gonna ask me that.

And I'm not in the mood
for the flippant remark

that you're about to make.

Life is just too predictable.

Well, life is is
predictable for me too.

Once again, you're
sitting on the couch..

Whining about yourself.

Oh, I know that is not my
cruelty free, ozone friendly

dolphin safe, condor
egg moisturizer.

[knock on door]

(Synclaire) 'Regine,
Khadija, it's me!'

She lost her keys again.

'I lost my keys, again.'

She's your cousin,
you let her in.

I have condor egg on my hands.

Thanks, Max.

You know I still do
not understand why

this woman has keys
to our apart..

You know what, here..

Here you go, Synclaire.

Fine with me, I have spares.

& We are living single &

& Oh in a 90's kinda world &

& I'm glad I got my girls &

& Keep your head up What &

& Keep your head
up That's right &

& Whenever this life gets
tough you gotta fight &

& My home girl standing standing
to my left and my right &

& True blue we tight like glue &

& We are living single &&.

One of my clients referred
this business to me, right?

I wanted to find the
appropriate way

to thank her.

How about flowers?

Uh, she's a businesswoman.

I don't wanna seem
sexist, you know?

But Kyle, you are sexist.

All the more reason
not to appear so.

Max, if you were a woman..

What would you want as a gift?

A cattle prod.

But, that's more
for you than me.

Oh, wow. The Delia Devo
show want be back.

Did they like your idea..

"People who never gave up
their imaginary friends?"

No, I suggested that to
the Ricky Leck Show.

I wrote to Delia about being

on singles who live
together segment.

Oh, Delia is my favorite.

I loved her book I Cry, You Cry.

Oh my god! Oh my god, she
wants us on the show.

Hey ya'll, she wants us on
as roommates from heaven.

Wait, wait, wait. Come on.

Surely you are not
going to do it.

Talk shows are just
sleazy entertainment

for the truly desperate so
they can come for themselves

by watching the pathetic.

Well I beg to differ, Kyle.

I think talk shows are
very informative.

Did you know that there are
more adulterers per capita

in Alabama than anywhere else
in the continent of U. S.?

Hold up, yo. Roommates
from heaven, we are not.

Now, that's not true.

If you saw how I treat
people outside this house.

You'd know how close
I feel to ya'll.

Khadija, Delia thinks we're
roommates from heaven.

I think she knows more
about relationships

than you do, she's been
married six times, alright?

Well, you two convince me.
I ain't going.

Alright, look. Khadijah,
for the last few weeks

I've been feeling like
something's been missing

from my life, but now
I know what it is.

Being on T. V!

Regine, you are obsessed.

I'm not obsessed. I'll just die
if I don't get on that show.

Say you'll do it,
say it, say it!

Alright. I'll do it.

Oh, look at us.
Blissfully co‐existing.

Khadijah, this is not the
outfit I laid out for you.

Oh, that was you?

I thought mother stopped
by to get me ready

for the 3rd grade class picture.

If we're goin' to show how
our lives are in harmony

our clothes have to be too.

I'm wearing canary, you
cannot wear indigo.

I'm wearing this, you
could change your outfit

if you want to.

I do not wear outfits,
I create looks.

And the look I was going for
was chic happy roommmates.

But, now it's chic
happy roommate and..

And the two of you.

Alright, listen Regine.

The harmony's not gonna
come from our clothing

it's gonna come from our auras.

Let's all hold on to this
piece of rose quartz

and channel positive energy?
Get some.

Alright, forget it. Forget
talking about clothes, huh.

Let's talk about what
we're going to say.

Now, I have outlined a
few do's and don'ts.

For example Khedijah.

Keep your sarcasm and tedious
work stories to a minimum.

Synclaire, honey.

Try not to get that blank
look on your face.

Never mind.

So, Regine. Can we talk
about that APS carrier

that dumped you?

Hey, hey, hey, hey.

I'm just trying to get a
little over the line.

Khadijah, if you don't
take this seriously

you'll blow the whole thing.

Blow the whole thing, I tell ya.

Stop that, that is
your nerves talking.

As a veteran of the
stage, I can tell you

that there is nothing
to worry about.

Honey, you've been in one play.

And the audience at
the Wheel of Fortune.

Alright gang, here we go.

Standing by, in five,
four, three, two..

We're back, and if you're just
tuning in, you missed it.

Look at them.

The roommates from
hell..reconcile.

I'm sorry I took a
contract out on you.

I'm sorry I burned down
your mother's house.

[audience applauding]

Ow!

Thank you God! For
letting me Delia.

Bring these people together.

And now, let's take a
look at the other side

of our roommate coin.

The roommates from heaven.

Here they are.

Khadijah James, Regine
Hunter, and Synclaire James.

[audience applauding]

Oh yeah.

Welcome, ladies.

Thank you.

These women are here because
of a 27 page letter.

Synclaire sent our producers.

And, here's a little taste.

"Dear Delia, I want to tell
you about my roommates Regine

"and my cousin Khadijah. When I
moved to New york from Minnesota"

"I knew right away I had
found two friendly worms"

"in the Big Apple."

"Together, we share, we care,
we do each other's hair."

They're more than roommates.
They're the sisters I never had.

They are.

This is really
beautiful, ladies.

Or is it?

Audience, can three women
share an apartment

and truly live in
heavenly bliss?

No, Delia, no!

Why, I have to tell you, if
I did not live the miracle

everyday myself, I
wouldn't believe it.

‐ Delia, Delia! ‐ Okay.

Are you the same Khadijah
James who publishes

the hip urban, always
informative, Flavor magazine?

Why, yes. I am.

Flavor is my favorite.

Please tell these
wonderful people

how they too can get the flavor.

Well now, if you're done
with that shameless plug

you wanna tell us who you are?

Maxine Shaw, attorney at law.

She practically lives with us.

And is a welcomed guest
anytime, day or night.

You got that on
videotape, right?

Well Max, since you know
our roommates so well

why don't you come on stage?

I dunno if I should.

[applauding]

Alright, ha ha ha.

Are there anymore friends
in the audience?

Okay, okay.

And..and you are?

Uh, Overton Wakefield Jones,
I'm Synclaire's boyfriend

or in T. V talk show terms,
her significant other

non co habitant.

And whose boyfriend are you?

Many satisfied ladies in the
greater metropolitan area.

[audience booing]

Woah, woah. What I meant
to say was that uh

women are the backbone
of this great country.

[audience applauding]

Alright.

Alright ladies, why don't we say

let's get down to the
nitty gritty, huh?

Khadijah!

I can look into your
eyes and see that you

got a story to tell.

Not me. I tell all my
stories in Flavor.

An award winning
magazine available

at news stands everywhere.

Khadijah, this is not about
you and your magazine.

It's about me and us.

Alright now, come on Khadija.
Now, nobody's perfect.

Or..

Just maybe my producer's made a
mistake in booking you girls.

Oh, no, no, no!

We have stories to tell.

Alright then, let's
make 'em juicy.

[audience cheering]

Okay, okay, okay, um Khadijah,
why don't you tell Delia

about one of our quirky
moments of friction.

Well, if I had to say something .
.and this is really small.

Regine has a tendency
of holding on

to her hand lotion,
like a dog with a bone.

Alright, I see, I see.

Ah, well. And, this
is even smaller

but Khadijah on
very rare occasion.

Act's as if someone died
and made her queen.

(Delia) 'Queen.'

[audience laughing]

Oh, okay I've got
one, I've got one.

Regine, sometimes has
a real cruel streak.

[audience laughing]

Regine! Girlfriend!

Your room mates don't
seem too fond of you.

Oh, no, no, now, Delia
you know how we are.

Yes, I firmly do. We heard
something, didn't we?

[audience] Yes, Delia, Yes.

Well, now you can't understand
their tentiest tinge of envy.

Yeah, right.

Well I am the glue that
holds this group together.

[audience laughing]

And you must have got a
few whiffs of that glue

when you was putting
on mayo on the hair.

[audience cheering]

Well, I'm the steady paycheck.

I mean Khadijah's always
putting every dime she has

back into her magazine.

She barley pays, Synlcaire
enough to cover her rent.

Honey, it' no wonder you
begged me to move in with you.

[audience laughing]

I did what?

She said, that you..

Begged her to move in with you.

Yeah, you did.

Khadijah, just shows up
on my doorstep one day

with tears in her eyes and
she say, "I need your help."

Well, me being the
charitable person that I am.

I packed my bags and
I began my mission

to bring a little sunshine
into Khadijah dreary life.

[audience laughing]

Alright, that's some
kind of speech, eh?

[audience] Yeah.

Oh, Delia..

Kha‐di‐jah.

[audience laughing]

Do you want the real deal?

(Delia) 'Oh, we
demand the deal.'

[audience cheering]

No, ah‐ah, no, no, no.

I'm 'bout to tell
you the real deal.

Regine could not keep a job
so she lived with her mother.

Number one.

So her mother, begged my mother

to ask me, to let her move in.

[audience gasping]

Yes she did.

[audience laughing]

That's not true. Is it?

[audience] Aww.

[audience laughing]

[audience cheering]

Before we went to commercial..

Regine learned..

For the very first
time that Khadijah..

Really didn't want her
to move in at all.

[all laughing]

I thought you wanted
me to live with you.

I did.

As soon as my mother
suggested it the third time

I jumped right on it.

Regine, don't be upset.

My mother arranged for me to
move in with Khadijah too.

Yeah, but that's different
you need adult supervision.

[audience] Ooo.

(Overton) 'Ah, no, no, no, ah.
Hold‐hold on, Ragine.'

All Synlcaire did was write a
letter to get you on this show.

I'd like to send a shout
out, to butch and poke

all the boys at the bowling
ally, what's up how you..

Khadija it's obvious..

That you had some reservations..

About living with Regine.

[hysterically] Why?

[audience laughing]

Ain't it 'bout time you
brought out the farmer

who that rooms with his pig?

Delia, Delia listen
it's no big deal.

Khadijah's always complaining

about how Regine
gets on her nerves.

About everybody gets on her
nerves, I get on her nerves.

Sometimes it's my goal.

Alright, alright, Max come
on, you help us out here.

What exactly are you saying?

I don't know. I just thought it
was my turn to say something

you got me up here and
your not using me.

Delia, Delia, darling come here.

In defense of Regine
I'd like to say that..

[audience booing]

You people are a bunch
of mindless sheep

[audience cheering]

Alright look.

If you think I'm so annoying,
why don't you just tell me?

Ah, what are you saying?

I am not gonna sit you down
everything to get on my nerves.

Who has that kind of time.

[audience cheering]

Look, I have just learned to
accept you the way you are.

Oh, well, accept this.

[audience murmuring]

I feel their pain.

[audience laughing]

Next up..

Farmer, Steve Buff and his
room mate, Clementine.

[audience cheering]

Regine, Regine, wait wait, baby.

Why don't you try my method
of cooling down, huh?

Wait, wait, come on.

Just look in the
mirror and remember

that you're better looking
than the people you're mad at.

I can't believe that you
embarrassed me like that.

Me? You're the one that started
it with all your grand standing.

Come on, Regine nobody
we know saw the show.

Everybody we know works.

They might have taped
it like I did.

[audience laughing]

Well, they have TV's at work you
have 15 messages on the machine.

(Laverne on phone) 'Regine
honey, it's mommy.'

'You weren't supposed
to find out about this'

'until after I was dead.'

'Way to keep my
secret, Khadijah.'

[phone beeping]

(Garth Ancier on phone) 'This is Garth
Ancier from the Ricki Lake show.'

'We're doing a segment
on unwanted room mates'

'and we were wondering if
Regine would be interested.'

Thanks, thanks for making this
the worst day of my life.

Regine you're the
one that begged me

to go on the show
in the first place.

I guess it's about time for
us to be going, Overton.

This is gonna get ugly or they
gonna make up by turning on us.

But a as your handy man,
let me just remind you

that any damage to the apartment

will be deducted from your
security deposit, 'kay. Bye.

Are you guys gonna get
into this right away?

Or do I have time to go get me a snack?
Alright I'll go.

You know what the really
sad thing is, Khadijah?

Finding out that our whole
friendship has been a big lie.

Regine, it does not matter how
we came to be room mates.

We've been living together for
years, and it's worked out fine.

That's right. So now it's
time to forgive and forget.

Woo‐wo‐wo. Woo‐wo‐wo.

No, 'cause see, I don't
think I can forget.

How Khadijah
humiliated me today.

Hey, listen I say this was
a good thing, alright?

You exposed some ugly
truth, you got loud.

You got a free set of
still belted radios.

And now it's time
to heal, group hug.

I'm not hugging anybody.

Especially not Khadijah.

You know, I don't even wanna
be in the same room with her.

In fact, I don't even wanna
live with you anymore.

I'm moving out.

Can I have her tires?

Khadijah you have
to do something.

Ragine just offered me her room.

She can't do that we're gonna put
the pool table there, right?

Ragine is not going anywhere.

She's just trying
to get attention.

Yeah, well then what about
her suitcases by the door?

Those are her stunt bags.

Ah, Khadijah just so you know

I put you as a credit reference
on my apartment application.

Ah, no problem.

Hey, I got some free time if
you need some help packing.

Thanks but I got
it under control.

Regine on behalf of the academy
I would like to present you

with the award, for best
performance by a room mate

in an apartment
or hotel complex.

You know, I'm really tired of
being treated like a joke.

Ya'll don't get it. I'm leaving.

[telephone rings]

Hello? Oh, hi, Mrs. Goodman.

Well, if they're checked bounced

then they don't have a
claim on the place, right?

Cool, I'll take it. No
I‐I'll give you cash.

Okay, thanks bye.

A cute studio apartment
in the east village

just became available.

So you moving out with two bags?

This is just to get
me through the night.

I'll be back for the
rest of my things.

My, girl, milking
it until the end.

You know I forgot something.

Okay, what do you need now?

I forgot to say goodbye.

Smooches.

[smirks]

That kid..

She's good. She is
good, she's good.

[male on TV] Those nominated for
best the performance by an actress.

Oh, it's getting late,
I guess I'll be going.

Yep, let us know what happens.

I'm telling you
she's coming back.

[door closes]

Can I sleep in her room tonight?

No, max the girl is coming back.

Alright, if you say so.
See you tomorrow.

Look you don't know
her like I do.

I'm going to bed.
Goodnight, Khadijah.

She is coming back.

[switch clicks]

(female on TV) 'I'm not gonna
lie to you, and tell you'

'I didn't keep hoping
it would happen.'

Whoo‐hoo!