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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:08,400 --> 00:00:10,160 ‐ Whoa, hey. Oh, what is that thing? 2 00:00:10,150 --> 00:00:11,900 Oh, don't throw that out. I can sell that on eBay. 3 00:00:11,900 --> 00:00:14,150 ‐ It has an unstable gray hole inside. 4 00:00:14,160 --> 00:00:15,620 ‐ You're an unstable gray hole. 5 00:00:15,620 --> 00:00:17,200 JESSE: Nice. [snickers] ‐ It's too big for the trash. 6 00:00:17,200 --> 00:00:18,870 I'm gonna dump it behind the Burger King. 7 00:00:18,870 --> 00:00:21,540 ‐ Don't, no, I can sell it and then buy a chocolate fountain 8 00:00:21,540 --> 00:00:23,250 so I can stop making a mess in the microwave 9 00:00:23,250 --> 00:00:24,500 and you won't have to yell at me anymore! 10 00:00:24,500 --> 00:00:26,840 ‐ Look at the Pupa. I told you to stop giving the Pupa candy. 11 00:00:26,830 --> 00:00:28,160 He can't eat candy, it gets him sick! 12 00:00:28,170 --> 00:00:29,720 ‐ I didn't‐‐ I don't give him candy anymore. 13 00:00:29,710 --> 00:00:30,710 ‐ Well, he's getting it from someone! 14 00:00:31,710 --> 00:00:32,960 ‐ Oh great, now what. 15 00:00:34,680 --> 00:00:37,470 The homeowners association is updating the rules again. 16 00:00:37,470 --> 00:00:39,520 "Gardeners need to have marked trucks. 17 00:00:39,510 --> 00:00:41,470 "No RV parking in the driveway. 18 00:00:41,470 --> 00:00:45,060 All spaceships sticking out of houses need to be painted to match the trim." 19 00:00:45,060 --> 00:00:46,930 Are you hearing this? ‐ Ooh, we should totally get an RV. 20 00:00:46,940 --> 00:00:50,070 ‐ It looks fine the way it is. I don't want it to blend into the house. 21 00:00:50,070 --> 00:00:52,280 It's my whole thing, I'm the spaceship guy! 22 00:00:52,900 --> 00:00:55,190 Damn it! There's a gray hole, Terry! A gray hole in the house! 23 00:00:57,240 --> 00:00:58,330 'Cause we could just live in an RV. 24 00:01:00,370 --> 00:01:02,960 You know, Terry, this proves that everyone in the neighborhood hates us. 25 00:01:05,870 --> 00:01:08,450 I mean, why do you think everybody gives me more room when I'm walking down the street? 26 00:01:08,460 --> 00:01:10,130 ‐ They're avoiding us! ‐ They love us. 27 00:01:10,130 --> 00:01:12,840 ‐ I think there's only one way to find out who's right. 28 00:01:12,840 --> 00:01:13,970 Nanobots. ‐ Buy an RV. 29 00:01:13,970 --> 00:01:14,800 Nan‐‐ Nanobots. 30 00:01:15,840 --> 00:01:17,920 KORVO: Planet Shlorp was a perfect utopia. 31 00:01:18,300 --> 00:01:20,170 Until the asteroid hit. 32 00:01:21,100 --> 00:01:23,520 One hundred adults and their replicants were issued a Pupa 33 00:01:23,520 --> 00:01:25,480 and escaped into, uh, the space, 34 00:01:28,610 --> 00:01:31,570 We crashed on Earth, stranding us on an already overpopulated planet. 35 00:01:31,570 --> 00:01:33,320 That's right, I've been talking this whole time. 36 00:01:33,320 --> 00:01:35,030 I'm the one holding the Pupa. My name's Korvo. 37 00:01:35,030 --> 00:01:37,530 This is‐‐ this is my show. I just dropped the Pupa. Do you see me? 38 00:01:37,530 --> 00:01:38,910 [stammers] This is ridiculous. 39 00:01:38,910 --> 00:01:40,870 I hate Earth. It's a horrible home. 40 00:01:40,870 --> 00:01:41,870 People are stupid. 41 00:01:41,870 --> 00:01:44,420 I don't understand why people have so many outfit choices 42 00:01:44,410 --> 00:01:46,450 when you could just wear a thick, coarse robe. 43 00:01:46,460 --> 00:01:48,800 It's the perfect garment. Boots and a robe. Easy. 44 00:01:57,930 --> 00:02:00,310 ‐ Whoa, whoa, whoa. I thought you weren't shrinking kids down anymore? 45 00:02:03,600 --> 00:02:06,150 a lady who had 15 items in the 12‐item lane, 46 00:02:06,140 --> 00:02:08,350 and a guy who pronounces schedule like "shed‐jewel." 47 00:02:08,350 --> 00:02:10,680 ‐ That's not wall worthy, that's you being a jerk. 48 00:02:12,570 --> 00:02:14,530 [people screaming] 49 00:02:14,530 --> 00:02:15,990 Ha ha ha, look at 'em. 50 00:02:19,320 --> 00:02:20,610 YUMYULACK: Hey, little guy! 51 00:02:22,990 --> 00:02:24,780 ‐ [laser pulsing] ‐ [alarm ringing] 52 00:02:25,330 --> 00:02:28,000 ‐ That's the alarm! Lucky for you, I've been teaching myself to hack at night 53 00:02:28,000 --> 00:02:29,710 while you've been wasting your time sleeping. 54 00:02:29,710 --> 00:02:31,630 ‐ Alexa, turn off alarm. 55 00:02:31,630 --> 00:02:32,800 [alarm stops] ALEXA: Alarm deactivated. 56 00:02:32,790 --> 00:02:34,370 ‐ Stupid Alexa. Always listening. 57 00:02:34,380 --> 00:02:35,550 ‐ Hold it right there! I'm armed! 58 00:02:35,550 --> 00:02:36,930 ‐ Lethal force! Zap him with the bone zapper. 59 00:02:36,920 --> 00:02:38,250 [laser zaps] ‐ Crap, now it's out of charge! 60 00:02:38,260 --> 00:02:39,560 ‐ Bite down on your poison teeth! 61 00:02:39,550 --> 00:02:40,550 ‐ Terry? 62 00:02:40,550 --> 00:02:41,760 ‐ Gordon? [spits] 63 00:02:41,760 --> 00:02:42,970 Wait, you‐you work here? 64 00:02:42,970 --> 00:02:44,720 ‐ Yup, yeah, man, it's my third job. 65 00:02:44,720 --> 00:02:46,340 I got three jobs, one, two, three. 66 00:02:46,350 --> 00:02:48,190 Got the three banger jobs, you know. ‐ Oh, man, well, that's good news. 67 00:02:53,310 --> 00:02:55,390 in the town water supply so we can find out if people like us. 68 00:02:56,940 --> 00:03:00,440 Everyone will unknowingly drink water contaminated with our nanobots, 69 00:03:00,450 --> 00:03:01,990 which will harvest all their memories, 70 00:03:01,990 --> 00:03:04,200 and then they'll pee them out and they'll end up back here. 71 00:03:06,700 --> 00:03:08,070 Hey, the room with the big pool of water 72 00:03:08,080 --> 00:03:09,420 that everyone drinks from is right over here. 73 00:03:09,410 --> 00:03:11,030 Come on. ‐ How do you, uh, know this guy? 74 00:03:11,040 --> 00:03:12,000 ‐ He sold me a gun. 75 00:03:13,840 --> 00:03:16,220 ‐ Be sure to break up the clumps or they might become sentient. 76 00:03:16,210 --> 00:03:17,540 ‐ Hey, man, are you sure this is gonna work? 77 00:03:17,550 --> 00:03:20,390 ‐ Well, it better, each one of these nanobot cost me 24 cents. 78 00:03:20,380 --> 00:03:21,960 ♪ dramatic music playing ♪ 79 00:03:31,230 --> 00:03:34,280 ♪ 80 00:03:36,570 --> 00:03:37,400 I mean, they should reboot them. 81 00:03:39,780 --> 00:03:41,370 ‐ We forgot to check the nanobots! 82 00:03:41,360 --> 00:03:42,900 ‐ [door opens, closes] ‐ [grunting on TV] 83 00:04:05,970 --> 00:04:07,430 ‐ [gasps] Oww! 84 00:04:13,020 --> 00:04:13,900 Yah! 85 00:04:24,700 --> 00:04:26,120 ‐ Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, hold it. 86 00:04:26,120 --> 00:04:28,330 How can you be sure you're gonna get all of those things out of there? 87 00:04:29,240 --> 00:04:31,160 I'm just kidding, I don't care. 88 00:04:31,160 --> 00:04:33,280 I work at the water treatment plant, I'm not a cop. 89 00:04:33,290 --> 00:04:36,340 Oh, hey, by the way, I got some heroin. You guys wanna do heroin? 90 00:04:41,630 --> 00:04:43,590 I can finally reduce people to statistics! 91 00:04:46,840 --> 00:04:48,420 Ooh! This is how much people like us! 92 00:04:48,430 --> 00:04:50,690 What the hell? Trent from around the block doesn't like 93 00:04:50,680 --> 00:04:52,300 that I let Pupa go number two on his lawn? 94 00:04:52,310 --> 00:04:53,480 Where the heck is he supposed to go? 95 00:04:53,480 --> 00:04:57,030 ‐ Brooke and Diane both think I ask too many questions at the grocery store. 96 00:04:57,020 --> 00:04:58,310 I'm from outer space! 97 00:04:58,310 --> 00:05:00,350 It's not clear to me why you have to cook bread twice. 98 00:05:00,360 --> 00:05:01,490 ‐ [loudly] Mitchell thinks I'm too loud! 99 00:05:03,440 --> 00:05:05,940 Is it the sci‐fi stuff? Do I smell bad? What is it? 100 00:05:05,950 --> 00:05:07,660 ‐ Looks like people just generally don't like us! 101 00:05:07,660 --> 00:05:08,830 One guy hates you. 102 00:05:10,410 --> 00:05:12,040 ‐ I don't even know anyone named Tyler. 103 00:05:12,040 --> 00:05:13,630 ‐ Ugh, it feels like I'm covered in bees! 104 00:05:15,620 --> 00:05:18,080 ‐ We‐we‐we can act different, Korvo. I mean, we can make people like us. 105 00:05:20,090 --> 00:05:22,510 And if people don't like us, that will make that job 106 00:05:22,510 --> 00:05:24,180 so much harder in so many ways. 107 00:05:24,170 --> 00:05:25,790 So to be clear: I don't need to be liked, 108 00:05:25,800 --> 00:05:26,850 it's strictly a work necessity. 109 00:05:26,840 --> 00:05:28,210 ‐ Well, I need to be liked! 110 00:05:28,550 --> 00:05:30,170 ‐ Dang it, have you seen my shrink ray anywhere? 111 00:05:30,180 --> 00:05:31,140 I'm hoping it didn't shrink. 112 00:05:31,140 --> 00:05:32,440 How ironic would that be. 113 00:05:32,430 --> 00:05:33,720 ‐ I hid it. ‐ Give it back! 114 00:05:33,730 --> 00:05:36,020 I will, but first I want to prove to you 115 00:05:36,020 --> 00:05:38,780 that humans are mostly basically good life forms. 116 00:05:38,770 --> 00:05:42,100 For the last couple months, you've been putting way too many people in the wall. 117 00:05:42,110 --> 00:05:43,490 You need to pump the brakes, mister. 118 00:05:52,910 --> 00:05:55,450 Um, dang it, did you hide my gun that makes people do what I want? 119 00:05:55,460 --> 00:05:57,170 ‐ Yeah, I hid all your guns. 120 00:05:57,170 --> 00:05:59,800 ‐ All the blue areas are pockets where people don't like us 121 00:05:59,790 --> 00:06:00,830 as much as they should. 122 00:06:02,380 --> 00:06:05,050 that marks which houses give out the biggest candy bars on Halloween. 123 00:06:05,050 --> 00:06:08,310 ‐ With a little extra effort, I think we can up our likability fast. 124 00:06:09,840 --> 00:06:11,130 ‐ You mean sex stuff? 125 00:06:11,140 --> 00:06:12,480 ‐ It's possible. Yeah. ‐ Then yes. 126 00:06:12,470 --> 00:06:14,380 ‐ Then let's aggressively make people like us! 127 00:06:15,060 --> 00:06:17,310 ‐ Shauna, the complete McNugget buddy collection. 128 00:06:17,310 --> 00:06:19,480 Here you go. ‐ Jeremiah, here's a gold bar. 129 00:06:19,480 --> 00:06:20,860 You can put it up your butt. 130 00:06:20,860 --> 00:06:22,280 ‐ Carson, it's your son. 131 00:06:22,270 --> 00:06:24,600 He's alive again. There you go. Have fun. 132 00:06:25,400 --> 00:06:26,440 [zapping] 133 00:06:26,440 --> 00:06:27,900 Courtesy of Korvo! 134 00:06:27,900 --> 00:06:30,820 ‐ Oh my god, I can feel my legs! 135 00:06:30,820 --> 00:06:32,320 I have legs! 136 00:06:32,330 --> 00:06:34,460 These are kind of hard to control. 137 00:06:38,870 --> 00:06:39,870 Keep moving. You're welcome. 138 00:06:39,870 --> 00:06:40,870 Everybody's welcome. ‐ You're getting there early! 139 00:06:43,380 --> 00:06:45,130 Terry and Korvo. ‐ All right, Terry, that's enough. 140 00:06:45,130 --> 00:06:46,340 L‐L‐let's go. 141 00:06:47,220 --> 00:06:48,970 ‐ No, no, no, no, no! [horn blaring] 142 00:06:57,430 --> 00:07:00,180 ‐ He always eats lunch alone in his office. 143 00:07:02,400 --> 00:07:03,570 ‐ Hey! Get outta here. 144 00:07:03,570 --> 00:07:06,110 ‐ I had an extra pudding cup today, Mr. Dutch. 145 00:07:06,110 --> 00:07:07,660 I thought you might want it. 146 00:07:10,450 --> 00:07:12,330 My ex‐wife used to pack my lunch. 147 00:07:12,320 --> 00:07:14,820 Ever since we separated, I've been doing it on my own. 148 00:07:14,830 --> 00:07:16,710 I'm sorry if I've been kind of a dick this year. 149 00:07:16,700 --> 00:07:17,740 I've‐‐ I've been going through a lot. 150 00:07:21,790 --> 00:07:25,250 You know what? Neither of you need to run the mile in next week's fitness test. 151 00:07:25,250 --> 00:07:27,420 I'll just say you both got six minutes. 152 00:07:27,420 --> 00:07:29,590 ‐ See? We were nice to someone who was mean, 153 00:07:29,590 --> 00:07:31,340 and now we don't have to run the mile. 154 00:07:31,340 --> 00:07:32,750 ‐ That's true. That's how it panned out. 155 00:07:32,760 --> 00:07:35,230 ‐ Yeah, that might work on a sad, old, lonely gym teacher, but‐‐ 156 00:07:35,220 --> 00:07:37,680 ‐ What about those mean surfer guys at Fourth Beach? 157 00:07:37,680 --> 00:07:39,970 ‐ Ugh, I hate them. They're always mean to me. 158 00:07:39,980 --> 00:07:44,440 ‐ Something tells me that today might be a little different. Wink. 159 00:07:44,440 --> 00:07:46,650 ‐ Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god. Are you seeing this, Terry? 160 00:07:46,650 --> 00:07:48,610 ‐ It's working! We're tricking people into being our friends! 161 00:07:48,610 --> 00:07:50,700 Ah, this feels so good, I feel so whole! 162 00:07:50,700 --> 00:07:51,830 ‐ We're popular! 163 00:07:52,200 --> 00:07:54,540 Solar Opposites will be right back after these set of‐‐ 164 00:07:54,530 --> 00:07:56,530 [stammers] this set of subsequent advertisements. 165 00:07:56,530 --> 00:07:57,570 ♪ 166 00:08:00,870 --> 00:08:04,120 Unless you spring for expensive Hulu, then there was no commercial break 167 00:08:04,130 --> 00:08:07,050 and this doesn't make a whole lot of sense and is probably quite jarring. 168 00:08:07,050 --> 00:08:08,510 Good for you, Mr. Moneybags. 169 00:08:11,130 --> 00:08:12,880 It's laser engraved right there in the middle, see? 170 00:08:12,880 --> 00:08:15,210 How's that amicable divorce, A‐A‐Angie? 171 00:08:15,220 --> 00:08:16,730 Phil, try the potato salad: 172 00:08:16,720 --> 00:08:19,680 your stomach acid will break it down, and then you'll poop it out in a few days. 173 00:08:22,230 --> 00:08:23,690 and I'm from space. 174 00:08:23,690 --> 00:08:25,980 I should know a good town when I see one 'cause I've been to the moon. 175 00:08:25,980 --> 00:08:28,240 Oh, oh, hey, hey. Don't hide from me over there, Delvin. 176 00:08:28,230 --> 00:08:30,690 I wanna hear about that dental thing. Show me those chompers! 177 00:08:30,690 --> 00:08:33,570 ‐ You and Korvo have gotten pretty popular around here, Ter. 178 00:08:36,030 --> 00:08:38,070 We have the juice. It's like a little charisma thing. 179 00:08:38,080 --> 00:08:38,960 Charisma action going on. 180 00:08:38,950 --> 00:08:41,820 ‐ You guys should run for the president of the HOA. 181 00:08:41,830 --> 00:08:43,710 Ruth, the old lady who runs it now? 182 00:08:43,710 --> 00:08:46,000 We would be so happy to see that bitch go. 183 00:08:47,840 --> 00:08:49,680 that if we ran for president of the HOA, we'd win! 184 00:08:49,670 --> 00:08:51,290 ‐ Oh my, Terry, do you know what that means? 185 00:08:52,550 --> 00:08:54,050 ‐ We could make all the rules around here. 186 00:08:54,050 --> 00:08:55,600 No more "paint the ship." 187 00:08:55,590 --> 00:08:57,710 No more "don't build a giant hole 188 00:08:57,720 --> 00:09:00,060 in the middle of the road to capture children in." 189 00:09:00,060 --> 00:09:02,650 ‐ I‐I‐I could do some crazy Disney's Blank Check style stuff, 190 00:09:02,640 --> 00:09:05,470 like build a water slide that goes down under the ground with a window 191 00:09:05,480 --> 00:09:07,570 and you can see the dinosaur diorama we built down there 192 00:09:07,560 --> 00:09:08,600 and, oh my god, it would be so awesome. 193 00:09:11,190 --> 00:09:13,150 Which means they would have to like me digging up dead bodies 194 00:09:13,150 --> 00:09:14,820 at the cemetery and fucking them. 195 00:09:14,820 --> 00:09:18,940 ‐ And the only person who can get in the way is the old lady president. Ruth. 196 00:09:18,950 --> 00:09:20,410 ‐ Ruth. ‐ Ruth. 197 00:09:20,410 --> 00:09:22,420 BOTH: Ruuuuth. 198 00:09:22,410 --> 00:09:24,240 ‐ Terry, no. Let's just go spy. 199 00:09:25,210 --> 00:09:28,090 I don't get it, she's been sitting on her porch for seven hours. 200 00:09:28,080 --> 00:09:30,790 Doesn't seem that tough. TERRY: It's called stamina. She's flexing. 201 00:09:30,800 --> 00:09:33,430 I'm freaking out. She's the incumbent, Korvo. They never lose! 202 00:09:33,420 --> 00:09:35,590 ‐ You boys want some peanut butter cookies? 203 00:09:35,590 --> 00:09:36,670 ‐ Oh, she's threatening us! 204 00:09:36,680 --> 00:09:39,890 ‐ Can you help me get a blanket down from my shelf? 205 00:09:39,890 --> 00:09:42,230 ‐ She's a million years old, man, she probably knows everything. 206 00:09:42,220 --> 00:09:43,720 How do we compete with that? We need an edge! 207 00:09:43,730 --> 00:09:44,940 ‐ I can update the nanobots, 208 00:09:44,930 --> 00:09:46,850 make them bigger so they can gather more information. 209 00:09:46,850 --> 00:09:48,270 ‐ You're going down, bitch. 210 00:09:48,270 --> 00:09:50,230 [engine starts, tires squealing] 211 00:09:50,820 --> 00:09:52,740 ‐ Sorry about the razzing, Yumyulack. 212 00:09:52,730 --> 00:09:56,570 I guess, like, we were so focused on nicknaming and mocking your nipples 213 00:09:56,570 --> 00:10:00,400 because our buddy JT got mondo chomped shredding the nar 214 00:10:00,410 --> 00:10:02,370 and had to have his totes bummer jammed. 215 00:10:04,000 --> 00:10:07,500 ‐ See? They were projecting their own insecurities onto your nipples. 216 00:10:07,500 --> 00:10:10,460 ‐ I would have done the same thing if you'd been mondo chomped. 217 00:10:10,460 --> 00:10:13,340 ‐ Ugh, why are we being nice? I want to kill this little blue‐‐ 218 00:10:13,880 --> 00:10:15,220 Yumyulack rules! 219 00:10:15,220 --> 00:10:16,800 ‐ Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. 220 00:10:18,470 --> 00:10:20,850 but I'm actually glad you hid my shrink ray, 221 00:10:24,720 --> 00:10:26,850 ‐ Wait a minute, you're not just pretending to like humans 222 00:10:26,850 --> 00:10:28,680 so you get the shrink ray back, right? 223 00:10:28,690 --> 00:10:29,690 I'm no schmuck. 224 00:10:32,940 --> 00:10:35,020 ‐ Yes! ‐ And I know the perfect place to go next! 225 00:10:35,030 --> 00:10:36,280 ‐ Hmm, let me guess. 226 00:10:36,280 --> 00:10:37,870 The guys who work at GameGrape, 227 00:10:37,860 --> 00:10:40,110 the used game store in the mall. 228 00:10:40,110 --> 00:10:42,780 They're always so mean to you, but I think today‐‐ 229 00:10:42,780 --> 00:10:44,240 ‐ No, way better. Come on! 230 00:10:44,240 --> 00:10:48,030 ‐ What? Um, okay, uh, wait, ooh, uh, oh boy‐‐ 231 00:10:48,040 --> 00:10:49,380 ♪ punk rock music playing ♪ 232 00:10:49,370 --> 00:10:51,410 ‐ [barking] ‐ [man grunts] 233 00:10:52,960 --> 00:10:55,540 A‐actually, you know what? We've done enough for today! 234 00:10:55,550 --> 00:10:57,340 You've grown so much and I think‐‐ ‐ No way. 235 00:10:57,340 --> 00:10:59,810 I need to find out why these guys are so mean. 236 00:10:59,800 --> 00:11:02,010 I bet it's the ex‐wife lonely lunch thing again. 237 00:11:02,010 --> 00:11:03,090 ‐ Oh man. 238 00:11:04,060 --> 00:11:06,270 ‐ Hey, do we have any scissors? I'm in a little over my head here. 239 00:11:06,270 --> 00:11:08,270 ‐ Shut the fuck up, Terry. I'm upgrading the nanobots. 240 00:11:08,270 --> 00:11:10,230 Smarter nanobots means more information, 241 00:11:10,230 --> 00:11:12,780 and more information means there's no way we lose the debate. 242 00:11:12,770 --> 00:11:16,140 ‐ Such a good idea. Nothing ever goes wrong when you make robots too smart! 243 00:11:16,690 --> 00:11:18,520 [beeping] 244 00:11:21,200 --> 00:11:23,830 ♪ ominous music playing ♪ 245 00:11:24,660 --> 00:11:25,660 [grunts] 246 00:11:25,660 --> 00:11:27,500 ‐ Well, I'm sure that's the last I'll see of that. 247 00:11:28,580 --> 00:11:32,420 ♪ ominous music playing ♪ 248 00:11:32,420 --> 00:11:34,420 [weights clinking] 249 00:11:34,420 --> 00:11:35,630 ‐ [whooshing] ‐ [gasps] 250 00:11:38,130 --> 00:11:40,000 [line beeping] 251 00:11:40,880 --> 00:11:44,090 ‐ Hello? If anyone is in here, the police are on their way‐‐ Ohh! 252 00:11:44,100 --> 00:11:46,020 Oh, oh, ow! 253 00:11:46,010 --> 00:11:48,260 [Pupa pants, grunts] 254 00:11:50,980 --> 00:11:52,360 [machine beeping] 255 00:11:55,820 --> 00:11:59,070 ‐ We know everything there is to know about everyone in town. 256 00:11:59,070 --> 00:12:00,780 What they want, what their secrets are. 257 00:12:03,160 --> 00:12:06,460 Like Todd? His favorite color isn't red. It's orange. 258 00:12:06,450 --> 00:12:08,360 ‐ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Who cares, who cares. What about Ruth? 259 00:12:08,370 --> 00:12:10,710 What is she afraid of? Does she have any allergies? 260 00:12:10,710 --> 00:12:13,090 What is gonna take her down? ‐ That's my one blind spot. 261 00:12:13,080 --> 00:12:15,910 That old withered bag refuses to drink water. 262 00:12:15,920 --> 00:12:18,430 ‐ Of course! Old people only drink Coke and they never shower. 263 00:12:18,420 --> 00:12:20,500 ‐ It doesn't matter. The only thing we have to know about her is that 264 00:12:20,510 --> 00:12:23,470 she's about to be the ex head of the HOA. 265 00:12:23,470 --> 00:12:24,720 Nothing can stop us! 266 00:12:24,720 --> 00:12:27,270 Ha ha ha ha, Terry, ha ha ha ha ha ha. 267 00:12:29,020 --> 00:12:31,020 [roaring softly] 268 00:12:31,480 --> 00:12:33,650 ‐ Okay, look, you all know us. 269 00:12:33,650 --> 00:12:36,070 Me and Korvo, we give you what you want. 270 00:12:36,060 --> 00:12:38,350 If you vote for us, we've got you covered. 271 00:12:38,360 --> 00:12:40,160 You want big speed bumps that launch your car 272 00:12:40,150 --> 00:12:41,900 in the air like Dukes of Hazzard? Done. 273 00:12:41,900 --> 00:12:44,440 You want a ski‐lift? I already crayoned up the plans. 274 00:12:44,450 --> 00:12:46,410 We can break ground today. 275 00:12:46,410 --> 00:12:50,250 ‐ Two words: Internet. Fiber. Not in that order. 276 00:12:50,250 --> 00:12:51,210 You're getting it! [crowd cheering] 277 00:12:51,200 --> 00:12:53,580 You're all gonna have super‐fast interneeeet! 278 00:12:53,580 --> 00:12:55,620 ‐ You know what? I kinda feel bad for Ruth. 279 00:12:55,630 --> 00:12:57,460 I bet she dies right in that chair when we win. 280 00:12:57,460 --> 00:12:59,170 ‐ I can't believe we're going to be presidents. 281 00:12:59,170 --> 00:13:02,180 This is amazing. President Korvo. Mister Korvo. 282 00:13:02,760 --> 00:13:03,760 ‐ Wait. 283 00:13:04,260 --> 00:13:05,470 ‐ Wait, what the hell is that? 284 00:13:07,600 --> 00:13:09,560 ‐ [raspy voice] I must speak. 285 00:13:09,560 --> 00:13:11,770 ‐ Hey, hey, no, no, no, no. Don't listen to this guy. 286 00:13:11,770 --> 00:13:14,360 He isn't even really a guy, he's just a‐a pile of robots. 287 00:13:14,350 --> 00:13:15,640 ‐ It's true. 288 00:13:15,650 --> 00:13:20,320 I am composed of a trillion microscopic, self‐replicating robots, 289 00:13:20,320 --> 00:13:21,740 but I know‐‐ [coughs] 290 00:13:25,200 --> 00:13:27,200 require‐‐ [clears throat] 291 00:13:27,200 --> 00:13:30,080 [normal voice] a stop sign at the corner of Oak and Main. 292 00:13:30,080 --> 00:13:32,580 People speed through there like they're street racing. 293 00:13:32,580 --> 00:13:34,630 It's got to stop, and I can make it happen. 294 00:13:34,620 --> 00:13:35,990 ‐ No. What? ‐ No, no, no, no, no. 295 00:13:36,000 --> 00:13:37,880 I‐I‐I don't think so, stop the clock. 296 00:13:37,880 --> 00:13:40,220 We already had the debate. Everyone has to vote right now. 297 00:13:40,210 --> 00:13:41,870 ‐ Where did you get that suit? Take it off. 298 00:13:41,880 --> 00:13:43,010 [audience gasps] 299 00:13:44,970 --> 00:13:47,010 ‐ Uh, it's my suit. ‐ Gordon, what the hell? 300 00:13:47,010 --> 00:13:50,430 ‐ I too thought at first that this Nanobot Man was some kind of frightening 301 00:13:50,430 --> 00:13:53,060 X‐Files type, you know, monster creature. 302 00:13:53,060 --> 00:13:55,020 But then, he took me to a nice steak dinner. 303 00:13:55,020 --> 00:13:56,060 KORVO: That's all it takes? 304 00:14:00,230 --> 00:14:03,150 but I think if you listen for a moment, I could‐‐ 305 00:14:03,150 --> 00:14:05,060 whoa, flip your vote. 306 00:14:05,070 --> 00:14:06,950 [crowd laughs] ‐ I‐I command you to leave this place! 307 00:14:06,950 --> 00:14:08,290 ‐ Let's hear him out! 308 00:14:10,200 --> 00:14:13,170 ♪ heavy metal music playing ♪ 309 00:14:13,160 --> 00:14:15,370 ‐ Hey, guys, we got pudding over here! 310 00:14:15,370 --> 00:14:17,950 Anybody want chocolate‐vanilla swirl? 311 00:14:21,040 --> 00:14:22,960 Man, these guys are real wound up. 312 00:14:22,960 --> 00:14:24,370 This might take more than a pudding cup. 313 00:14:24,380 --> 00:14:25,760 ‐ I know, we should probably just go, right? 314 00:14:25,760 --> 00:14:27,760 ‐ You're gonna have to sing them your friendship song! 315 00:14:27,760 --> 00:14:29,510 ‐ [nervous giggle] I don't know if that's a good idea‐‐ 316 00:14:31,180 --> 00:14:32,480 ‐ What the fuck? 317 00:14:32,470 --> 00:14:34,300 ‐ Hey, guys, if you think that's punk rock, 318 00:14:34,310 --> 00:14:36,020 wait till you hear my sister's song. 319 00:14:36,020 --> 00:14:38,320 [all shouting] 320 00:14:39,310 --> 00:14:43,310 ♪ Interracial love friendship‐‐ ♪ 321 00:14:43,320 --> 00:14:44,150 Ah! 322 00:14:45,780 --> 00:14:47,120 Ah! ‐ Ohh! Ah! 323 00:14:48,700 --> 00:14:50,830 ‐ Look, I do think humans are generally nice, 324 00:14:50,820 --> 00:14:52,190 but to prove that point to you today 325 00:14:52,200 --> 00:14:54,460 I installed microchips in all of your enemies' heads 326 00:14:54,450 --> 00:14:56,910 that made them nice when I clicked this button. 327 00:14:56,910 --> 00:14:58,740 But I didn't know about these neo‐Nazis, 328 00:14:58,750 --> 00:15:01,000 so it's not gonna work and I think we're gonna die. 329 00:15:01,000 --> 00:15:02,840 ‐ Ah, I told you some people are bad! 330 00:15:05,210 --> 00:15:06,750 This is just like the movie Green Room! 331 00:15:06,760 --> 00:15:08,550 [both scream] 332 00:15:10,050 --> 00:15:11,670 ‐ Darnell, your lawnmower broke, 333 00:15:11,680 --> 00:15:13,430 and they don't make the gear anymore, am I right? 334 00:15:15,310 --> 00:15:17,810 There you go, 3D printed on the spot. 335 00:15:17,810 --> 00:15:20,110 And little Elizabeth, born blind. 336 00:15:20,100 --> 00:15:21,680 Let's see what we can do about that. 337 00:15:21,690 --> 00:15:23,280 [straining] 338 00:15:23,270 --> 00:15:24,270 [machine powers up] There you go. 339 00:15:24,270 --> 00:15:26,850 ‐ I can see all the smells and sounds! It's amazing! 340 00:15:26,860 --> 00:15:29,370 [laughing] Seems like your choice is clear: 341 00:15:29,360 --> 00:15:32,280 a vote for Nanobot Man is a vote for happiness. 342 00:15:32,280 --> 00:15:34,860 ‐ The only reason he knows what you want is because he's been inside your pee. 343 00:15:34,870 --> 00:15:35,410 [crowd gasps] 344 00:15:35,410 --> 00:15:38,420 That's right, Nanobot Man has been spying on you this whole time. 345 00:15:38,410 --> 00:15:40,910 Do you really want to elect a man who's been inside your balls 346 00:15:40,920 --> 00:15:42,340 or, or the other stuff? 347 00:15:42,330 --> 00:15:44,660 ‐ It's true, I can see it! I can see everything! 348 00:15:44,670 --> 00:15:46,470 ‐ Hah! [clears throat] 349 00:15:46,460 --> 00:15:49,000 It's true, I have been in all your pee. 350 00:15:49,010 --> 00:15:49,850 [all gasp] 351 00:15:49,840 --> 00:15:52,630 I didn't want to bring this up, but they've forced my hand. 352 00:15:52,640 --> 00:15:56,180 Korvo is my dad, and he built my nanobot bodies. 353 00:15:56,180 --> 00:15:58,520 And he and Terry put me in the water 354 00:15:58,520 --> 00:16:01,520 so they could read your minds and give you presents. 355 00:16:01,520 --> 00:16:03,110 You can't elect these two liars. 356 00:16:03,100 --> 00:16:05,600 You're not their customer, you are their product. 357 00:16:05,610 --> 00:16:07,820 ‐ We harvest the data for the good of the community! [crowd shouting] 358 00:16:07,820 --> 00:16:09,660 How else would we know that Dave needs a new shed 359 00:16:09,650 --> 00:16:10,770 for all his sex dolls? 360 00:16:10,780 --> 00:16:12,120 We can give him that shed! 361 00:16:12,110 --> 00:16:14,990 ‐ That's not true! I have sex with living, human beings! 362 00:16:14,990 --> 00:16:17,030 I love the feeling of being pressed up against‐‐ 363 00:16:17,040 --> 00:16:19,580 [shudders] a warm bag of bones and blood that can give consent. 364 00:16:19,580 --> 00:16:21,590 ‐ I know you better than these guys. 365 00:16:21,580 --> 00:16:24,830 I know that Becky buried her Guatemalan housekeeper in the back yard. 366 00:16:24,830 --> 00:16:26,660 [crowd gasps] NANOBOT MAN: How 'bout that? That's a big secret right there. 367 00:16:26,670 --> 00:16:28,590 ‐ I'm sorry, what? You killed Lupe! 368 00:16:28,590 --> 00:16:30,930 ‐ Uh, uh, Jeremy's poisoning his wife for insurance. 369 00:16:30,920 --> 00:16:34,250 Uh, Lesley Donovan teaches class while wearing a hidden vibrator. 370 00:16:34,260 --> 00:16:35,600 Samantha is cheating on Michael with Joey! [Samantha gasps] 371 00:16:35,600 --> 00:16:36,980 ‐ What the fuck? 372 00:16:36,970 --> 00:16:39,590 TERRY: Phyllis spent all her kid's cancer medicine money on a purse. 373 00:16:39,600 --> 00:16:41,690 KORVO: Bobby snuck shit in a pie at the pie place. 374 00:16:41,680 --> 00:16:43,350 Everyone should be mad about that. 375 00:16:43,350 --> 00:16:45,680 ‐ Gary has a cactus fetish. ‐ Robert keyed Leslie's car. 376 00:16:45,690 --> 00:16:47,650 ‐ This is all your fault. You're making everyone fight! 377 00:16:47,650 --> 00:16:48,450 ‐ Fuck you, Terry! 378 00:16:48,440 --> 00:16:49,310 [Terry grunts] NANOBOT MAN: Ow! 379 00:16:49,320 --> 00:16:50,200 [Neo‐Nazis screaming] 380 00:16:50,190 --> 00:16:51,980 ‐ Give me the shrink ray back! ‐ It's in my dollhouse! 381 00:16:51,990 --> 00:16:53,910 ‐ What? You know what's going to happen right now 382 00:16:53,910 --> 00:16:55,370 because you did that? ‐Yeah. 383 00:16:55,370 --> 00:16:57,700 ‐ Now I have to take these guys out with lethal force! 384 00:16:57,700 --> 00:16:59,710 ‐ I'm going to stick my knife up your‐‐ Ahh! 385 00:17:00,200 --> 00:17:01,530 [all groan] 386 00:17:01,540 --> 00:17:04,000 ♪ The Blue Danube Waltz playing ♪ 387 00:17:05,580 --> 00:17:06,580 [grunting] 388 00:17:07,500 --> 00:17:10,170 ‐ I don't like doing this! ‐ I said I was sorry! 389 00:17:10,170 --> 00:17:12,540 ‐ It's the suit, not me, it's the suit. 390 00:17:13,220 --> 00:17:14,470 The suit's on auto pilot. 391 00:17:15,720 --> 00:17:18,060 [screams] YUMYULACK: It just does this, sorry. 392 00:17:18,680 --> 00:17:21,190 Maybe, uh, I don't know, maybe be tolerant next time. 393 00:17:21,180 --> 00:17:23,140 ‐ Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. 394 00:17:23,560 --> 00:17:24,820 Sorry about that eye. 395 00:17:26,940 --> 00:17:28,490 ‐ Ugh! [rifle zapping] 396 00:17:28,480 --> 00:17:29,770 ‐ Damn you, nanobots! NANOBOT MAN: Me? 397 00:17:29,770 --> 00:17:31,850 This is all your fault! Nobody likes you! 398 00:17:31,860 --> 00:17:32,610 ‐ Take that back! 399 00:17:35,030 --> 00:17:36,700 [growling] 400 00:17:47,040 --> 00:17:48,120 [straining] 401 00:17:49,960 --> 00:17:51,040 [straining] 402 00:17:53,420 --> 00:17:55,210 ‐ Ah! [gulping noisily] 403 00:18:04,850 --> 00:18:06,810 ‐ Ah! Ahhh! 404 00:18:06,810 --> 00:18:09,060 ‐ Okay, stop! Everyone stop. 405 00:18:09,060 --> 00:18:10,680 Everyone just shut the fuck up. 406 00:18:10,690 --> 00:18:13,410 Look at yourselves. T‐this is fucked. 407 00:18:13,400 --> 00:18:14,980 I've been living here for 30 years 408 00:18:14,990 --> 00:18:17,700 and we never had any sci‐fi bullshit. 409 00:18:17,700 --> 00:18:19,700 You want things normal and regular. 410 00:18:19,700 --> 00:18:23,670 Don't vote for these stupid ugly Alf‐lookin' motherfuckers. 411 00:18:23,660 --> 00:18:25,660 I've had enough. Fuck these guys. 412 00:18:25,660 --> 00:18:26,700 ‐ You tell 'em, Ruth! 413 00:18:26,710 --> 00:18:28,630 ‐ You're goddamn right I'll tell 'em. 414 00:18:28,630 --> 00:18:30,210 It's fucking bullshit. 415 00:18:30,210 --> 00:18:32,260 I just want to fucking live in peace. 416 00:18:32,250 --> 00:18:34,580 Vote for me, that's all I got to say. 417 00:18:34,590 --> 00:18:36,220 [crowd chanting] ‐ Ruth! Ruth! Ruth! Ruth! 418 00:18:36,220 --> 00:18:37,930 ‐ But I can make free electricity 419 00:18:37,930 --> 00:18:40,020 by harnessing the temperature change in the air! 420 00:18:40,010 --> 00:18:43,130 It solves global warming! Come on! 421 00:18:43,140 --> 00:18:46,190 ‐ A‐and I have big ideas for a video game library that we can all use! 422 00:18:46,180 --> 00:18:48,720 ‐ Shut up and go back to your home in the Abyss! 423 00:18:48,730 --> 00:18:50,730 ‐ Not all aliens are from the Abyss! 424 00:18:50,730 --> 00:18:52,320 I don't even know you, who are you? 425 00:18:52,320 --> 00:18:54,570 ‐ I'm Tyler, and I think you suck. 426 00:18:54,570 --> 00:18:56,160 ‐ I knew it! I knew that was Tyler! 427 00:18:56,150 --> 00:18:57,940 ‐ Fuck you! I've always hated you! 428 00:18:57,950 --> 00:18:59,330 ‐ Why would we even be from the Abyss? 429 00:18:59,320 --> 00:19:01,780 We have a spaceship sticking out of the top of our house. 430 00:19:02,330 --> 00:19:04,580 NANOBOT MAN: I guess sometimes when you gain sentience 431 00:19:04,580 --> 00:19:06,540 and you're full of data about a neighborhood, 432 00:19:06,540 --> 00:19:07,920 you can overreach. 433 00:19:07,910 --> 00:19:09,540 I was just trying to help, 434 00:19:09,540 --> 00:19:11,790 and I ended up hurting the people I love the most. 435 00:19:11,790 --> 00:19:13,210 I'm sorry, guys. Truly. 436 00:19:13,210 --> 00:19:14,830 I hope you still like me after all this. 437 00:19:14,840 --> 00:19:17,300 ‐ Yes, I still like you, Mr. Nanobots. 438 00:19:17,300 --> 00:19:19,010 But you know what? I'm starting to think 439 00:19:19,010 --> 00:19:21,140 I have to stop worrying about who likes me. 440 00:19:21,140 --> 00:19:23,560 I guess some humans are unevolved bigots 441 00:19:23,560 --> 00:19:25,230 who don't know a good thing when they see one. 442 00:19:25,220 --> 00:19:27,390 ‐ Us sci‐fi folks need to stick together. 443 00:19:27,390 --> 00:19:29,890 To be honest, I'm proud that I made such good nanobots 444 00:19:29,890 --> 00:19:31,470 that they tried to take over the neighborhood. 445 00:19:31,480 --> 00:19:33,820 Now all of you: back in the bag. We've got work to do on the ship. 446 00:19:33,820 --> 00:19:35,780 ‐ But I want to live in a house and fall in love 447 00:19:35,780 --> 00:19:37,160 and build a recipe folder. 448 00:19:37,150 --> 00:19:39,940 ‐ Well, tough. I need to spray you on a navigation panel. 449 00:19:39,950 --> 00:19:41,790 You know you have to listen to me, right? 450 00:19:41,780 --> 00:19:43,030 [grunts] Get back here! 451 00:19:43,030 --> 00:19:44,610 You can't just be free! Damn it! 452 00:19:44,620 --> 00:19:46,000 ‐ Man, they grow up so fast. 453 00:19:45,990 --> 00:19:47,740 Well, since we lost the election 454 00:19:47,750 --> 00:19:50,000 and everyone's all crazy high‐concept racist now, 455 00:19:50,000 --> 00:19:52,420 I guess that means we better paint the ship to match the roof, huh? 456 00:19:52,420 --> 00:19:54,720 ‐ I'll be painting it even more silver than before. 457 00:19:54,710 --> 00:19:58,210 I'm going to light it up at night so Ruth can see it from a mile away. 458 00:19:58,210 --> 00:20:01,000 ‐ But the rules‐‐ ‐ It's a $50 fine. I'll eat it. 459 00:20:01,010 --> 00:20:02,310 ‐ Yeah, but then people won't like us‐‐ 460 00:20:04,260 --> 00:20:05,760 ‐ Did you give him candy again? ‐ No! 461 00:20:05,760 --> 00:20:07,340 ‐ Damn it, Terry! He's getting it from somewhere 462 00:20:07,350 --> 00:20:09,400 and if he's not getting it from me, he has to be getting it from you! 463 00:20:09,390 --> 00:20:11,180 ‐ I don't know, man. I‐I would remember if I did, but‐‐ 464 00:20:11,190 --> 00:20:12,150 ‐ What do you mean you would remember? 465 00:20:12,150 --> 00:20:13,530 If he's not getting it from you, where is he getting it? 466 00:20:13,520 --> 00:20:14,640 ‐ I don't know okay! ‐ Where? 467 00:20:14,650 --> 00:20:16,070 ‐ Stop yelling at me! ‐ I'll yell at you as much as I want. 468 00:20:16,570 --> 00:20:18,740 ‐ [Jesse sighs] I shouldn't have lied to you. 469 00:20:18,740 --> 00:20:21,950 Humans are complicated, but I didn't think they were so complicated 470 00:20:21,950 --> 00:20:23,410 that they would try to kill us. 471 00:20:23,410 --> 00:20:25,410 ‐ After today, I can tell it's important to you 472 00:20:25,410 --> 00:20:27,160 that I be careful who I put in the wall. 473 00:20:27,160 --> 00:20:30,630 So from now on, I'll make sure that everyone in the wall deserves to be‐‐ 474 00:20:30,620 --> 00:20:32,280 Ooh, a guy in a red shirt! [blaster zaps] 475 00:20:33,210 --> 00:20:36,380 ‐ Wait, but‐‐ ‐ Look, I had people in shirts of all the other colors. 476 00:20:36,380 --> 00:20:39,300 I promise we'll use due process on the next one. 477 00:20:39,300 --> 00:20:40,260 Don't yell at me. 478 00:20:40,260 --> 00:20:42,050 ‐ Eh, he was probably a Nazi. 479 00:20:43,380 --> 00:20:45,670 I like humans, but I hate shoes. 480 00:20:45,680 --> 00:20:47,980 Like, how are we supposed to taste the ground? 481 00:20:47,970 --> 00:20:49,930 ‐ I don't know, they don't flavor their ground either. 482 00:20:49,930 --> 00:20:51,680 ‐ Pff! Weird, right? ‐ [man screams] 483 00:20:51,680 --> 00:20:53,010 [grunts] Oh! 484 00:20:53,020 --> 00:20:54,980 Hey, hey. What's going on here? Where are we? 485 00:20:54,980 --> 00:20:56,150 W‐what is this? What is this? [rumbling, clattering] 486 00:20:56,150 --> 00:20:57,280 What the hell is happening? 487 00:20:58,320 --> 00:20:59,910 [all screaming] 488 00:20:59,900 --> 00:21:00,980 [coughing] 489 00:21:00,990 --> 00:21:03,080 ♪ ominous music playing ♪ 490 00:21:03,070 --> 00:21:05,440 Oh my god. What is this place? 491 00:21:06,910 --> 00:21:07,960 [panting] 492 00:21:07,950 --> 00:21:09,320 Wait, why‐‐ w‐‐where are you going? 493 00:21:09,330 --> 00:21:10,540 ‐ Anywhere but here! 494 00:21:11,120 --> 00:21:12,250 [grunts] 495 00:21:15,420 --> 00:21:16,420 [all gasp] 496 00:21:16,420 --> 00:21:18,550 [all screaming] 497 00:21:21,090 --> 00:21:22,090 [groans] 498 00:21:27,850 --> 00:21:30,390 ‐ D‐don't hurt me, don't hurt me. ‐ Empty your pockets. 499 00:21:31,850 --> 00:21:33,610 Ugh! ‐ Hey wait, wait, wait, hey. 500 00:21:33,600 --> 00:21:34,720 I don't belong here! 501 00:21:34,730 --> 00:21:37,400 Two little aliens just shrank me down for no reason. 502 00:21:37,400 --> 00:21:39,570 I'm just a regular guy. I didn't do anything to anybody. 503 00:21:39,570 --> 00:21:41,360 ‐ More Taffy bandits will be arriving soon, 504 00:21:41,360 --> 00:21:42,990 and the gum boys move south at night. 505 00:21:42,990 --> 00:21:44,990 We don't want to be anywhere near here when they meet. 506 00:21:44,990 --> 00:21:46,620 ‐ Why are they called gum boys? 507 00:21:47,240 --> 00:21:48,620 ‐ They love gum. 508 00:21:48,620 --> 00:21:51,040 ♪ dramatic music playing ♪ 509 00:21:51,040 --> 00:21:54,040 ♪ 510 00:21:56,880 --> 00:21:58,670 ‐ Did they make a True Lies 2? 511 00:21:58,670 --> 00:22:00,260 The Arnold Schwarzenegger movie. 512 00:22:00,250 --> 00:22:01,960 Is there a sequel to that? 513 00:22:01,960 --> 00:22:04,420 ♪ dramatic music playing ♪ 514 00:22:04,420 --> 00:22:08,420 ♪ 515 00:22:40,460 --> 00:22:45,010 ♪ 516 00:22:46,300 --> 00:22:47,800 [imitating laser fire] 42300

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