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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,586 --> 00:00:07,026 Pippa! I'm doing another triathlon, will you sponsor me? 2 00:00:07,051 --> 00:00:10,918 - What's the charity? - I dunno. So, shall I put you down for... 3 00:00:10,943 --> 00:00:15,006 ...a million pounds? - Sounds like quite a lot. - Really? Oh. 4 00:00:15,031 --> 00:00:17,506 Well, that's what Johnny and all our other hedge-fund friends 5 00:00:17,506 --> 00:00:20,707 have put down, but then I suppose we are that much richer than you. 6 00:00:20,732 --> 00:00:23,902 Well, I don't need money to be happy. I'm just lucky I found Wills. 7 00:00:24,247 --> 00:00:25,903 Who, it turns out, is going to be King! 8 00:00:25,928 --> 00:00:27,528 That's not why I fell in love with him. 9 00:00:27,553 --> 00:00:30,353 And the fact I'm going to be Queen one day is actually quite a burden. 10 00:00:30,378 --> 00:00:34,057 - Oh, here we go! - You don't know what it's like doing Royal duties, Pippa. 11 00:00:34,093 --> 00:00:37,083 Passing bunches of flowers to a plain-clothes policeman, 12 00:00:37,108 --> 00:00:38,947 it's hardly coal mining, is it? 13 00:00:38,947 --> 00:00:39,947 It's a lot of pressure. 14 00:00:39,972 --> 00:00:42,971 For those people at Berkshire County Fair, seeing me today 15 00:00:42,996 --> 00:00:45,114 will be the highlight of their lives. - Really? 16 00:00:45,139 --> 00:00:48,688 They never saw you getting fingered at the Venture Scouts disco, did they? 17 00:00:48,713 --> 00:00:50,766 Pippa, I don't think you have any idea how hard 18 00:00:50,791 --> 00:00:53,117 a Royal duty actually is. - Oh, is it hard, 19 00:00:53,142 --> 00:00:54,678 or is it really fucking easy? 20 00:00:54,678 --> 00:00:56,320 I've got to do it alone today. 21 00:00:56,735 --> 00:00:57,749 OK, then. 22 00:00:57,774 --> 00:01:00,577 Get your Zara jacket on, I'll do it with you. 23 00:01:00,602 --> 00:01:01,976 But...you're not Royal. 24 00:01:01,976 --> 00:01:04,591 It's the Berkshire County Show, who cares? 25 00:01:25,359 --> 00:01:27,153 We're only just in the Top Ten now. 26 00:01:27,178 --> 00:01:28,878 I don't think we're ever going to get back 27 00:01:28,903 --> 00:01:31,238 on the Sovereign Grant. - But who needs it? 28 00:01:31,263 --> 00:01:33,394 We're both going to be married now. Besides, 29 00:01:33,419 --> 00:01:35,566 we're going to be online influencers. 30 00:01:35,591 --> 00:01:39,297 Do you think so? All the zappy brands have turned us down. 31 00:01:39,443 --> 00:01:42,654 Apple, Nike, WHSmiths. 32 00:01:42,935 --> 00:01:44,665 They're all saying the same thing. 33 00:01:44,863 --> 00:01:48,531 - We're just not popular enough. - Oh, dear. We could end up like 34 00:01:48,556 --> 00:01:50,580 Princess Margaret's children. 35 00:01:50,655 --> 00:01:52,969 Not even characters on The Crown. 36 00:01:53,604 --> 00:01:54,976 PHONE RINGS - Oh. 37 00:01:56,519 --> 00:02:00,265 Hang on a minute, it's from one of those big Japanese perfume houses. 38 00:02:00,546 --> 00:02:03,288 They're launching a new scent called Diamond Dignity, 39 00:02:03,288 --> 00:02:05,405 and they want us to front it. 40 00:02:05,555 --> 00:02:08,070 Because we're so dignified. 41 00:02:08,095 --> 00:02:10,191 Exactly what those Nike twats hate us for. 42 00:02:10,267 --> 00:02:13,638 They're offering a million pounds a year, each. 43 00:02:13,753 --> 00:02:14,853 OMG! 44 00:02:15,238 --> 00:02:18,370 We don't need to feel guilty about taking 16 holidays a year any more, 45 00:02:18,651 --> 00:02:21,229 because now, we'll be paying for them ourselves! 46 00:02:21,254 --> 00:02:23,545 Hold on, there's a special clause. 47 00:02:23,656 --> 00:02:24,847 Because we're representing 48 00:02:24,872 --> 00:02:26,925 Diamond Dignity, they're saying we can never 49 00:02:26,950 --> 00:02:30,034 associate with Mummy ever again! 50 00:02:30,565 --> 00:02:33,985 "Because we consider her the opposite of dignity." 51 00:02:34,323 --> 00:02:37,729 - Oh, well, we'll just have to turn them down. - Um, just a sec. 52 00:02:37,979 --> 00:02:39,956 That's a lot of money, 53 00:02:40,252 --> 00:02:42,912 and Mummy always says she wants us to be happy. - But... 54 00:02:42,937 --> 00:02:44,956 And we were happy just then, weren't we? 55 00:02:44,981 --> 00:02:46,768 You know, when we read that e-mail. 56 00:02:47,007 --> 00:02:50,658 - Yeah, but never seeing Mummy ever again. - I need this, Bea, 57 00:02:51,221 --> 00:02:53,258 I don't know how long Jack's going to be kept on as 58 00:02:53,283 --> 00:02:57,405 a Tequila ambassador. I mean, do you know what a Tequila ambassador is?! 59 00:02:58,813 --> 00:03:01,511 All right, we'd better go round and see Mummy. 60 00:03:06,185 --> 00:03:08,292 Oh, Camilla, I didn't expect 61 00:03:08,317 --> 00:03:09,721 to see you till Saturday. 62 00:03:09,746 --> 00:03:11,027 I thought you were in Switzerland, 63 00:03:11,052 --> 00:03:13,597 having your blood changed... - Oh! 64 00:03:13,622 --> 00:03:17,988 Excuse me, sir. I'm the new shop manageress, Prue. 65 00:03:18,952 --> 00:03:21,040 It's a great honour. 66 00:03:22,392 --> 00:03:25,126 Oh. Well, Prue, um, tell me, 67 00:03:25,220 --> 00:03:27,734 do you think �80 is too much to charge 68 00:03:27,759 --> 00:03:30,027 for a jar of honey? - Oh, no, sir, 69 00:03:30,409 --> 00:03:32,780 and it's made by bees rom the High Grove estate, 70 00:03:32,805 --> 00:03:34,865 who might have hovered near you. 71 00:03:34,963 --> 00:03:37,723 There is that personal connection. 72 00:03:37,886 --> 00:03:41,297 I notice you've displayed my paintings more prominently. 73 00:03:41,352 --> 00:03:42,764 Because they're wonderful! 74 00:03:43,271 --> 00:03:44,371 Excuse me, sir. 75 00:03:44,949 --> 00:03:46,763 Sometimes, my passions 76 00:03:46,763 --> 00:03:47,797 get the better of me. 77 00:03:47,822 --> 00:03:49,320 Yes, like me. 78 00:03:49,519 --> 00:03:51,127 One only has to look at this 79 00:03:51,152 --> 00:03:52,939 painting of a distant hillside 80 00:03:52,964 --> 00:03:56,498 to see the raging cauldron of emotions inside me. 81 00:03:56,622 --> 00:03:58,507 Is that what the sheep represent? 82 00:03:59,282 --> 00:04:01,485 You have a wonderful eye. 83 00:04:01,747 --> 00:04:05,270 Camilla often says my paintings are a bit on the shit side. 84 00:04:05,295 --> 00:04:07,537 Oh, no, no, no, no, sir! I mean, 85 00:04:07,813 --> 00:04:09,797 I think we could charge even more for them. 86 00:04:09,987 --> 00:04:12,062 - Really? - Oh, yes, sir. 87 00:04:12,500 --> 00:04:14,516 And not just the paintings. 88 00:04:14,906 --> 00:04:17,696 This Prince of Wales bug hotel, for instance, 89 00:04:17,721 --> 00:04:20,608 I see no reason why the public wouldn't pay �200 for it. 90 00:04:21,015 --> 00:04:23,295 Well, I did personally supervise 91 00:04:23,295 --> 00:04:25,338 the smashing up of the bamboo. 92 00:04:25,917 --> 00:04:27,117 Do you know, Prue, 93 00:04:27,449 --> 00:04:30,487 I think you and I are going to work very well together. 94 00:04:30,806 --> 00:04:33,646 SHE GIGGLES - Hmm... 95 00:04:38,944 --> 00:04:41,506 Auntie Anne is very particular about her food. 96 00:04:41,701 --> 00:04:43,812 With her porridge, she just has water and salt, 97 00:04:43,812 --> 00:04:45,701 and she has it for breakfast, lunch and dinner. 98 00:04:45,726 --> 00:04:47,864 Ooh-hoo! HE GASPS 99 00:04:50,420 --> 00:04:55,066 - Oh, Auntie Anne! - Wills! Oh! Oh! 100 00:04:55,066 --> 00:04:56,986 Have you got a kiss for your auntie? 101 00:04:57,300 --> 00:05:01,486 Mmm... Mwah! 102 00:05:01,722 --> 00:05:05,037 Oh, I hope I haven't put you out, inviting myself like this? 103 00:05:05,037 --> 00:05:07,386 Not at all, it is lovely to see you. 104 00:05:07,411 --> 00:05:09,862 - I like what you've done with your hair. - Oh, 105 00:05:09,887 --> 00:05:12,255 well, I have a new special friend, 106 00:05:12,280 --> 00:05:14,052 who likes it down. 107 00:05:14,200 --> 00:05:15,955 I've actually brought him along. 108 00:05:15,980 --> 00:05:18,649 Oh, to stay in separate rooms, of course. 109 00:05:18,905 --> 00:05:21,723 Oh, right, more the merrier. ho... Who is it? 110 00:05:22,819 --> 00:05:24,606 David! 111 00:05:25,445 --> 00:05:28,657 - All right, Wills? - Ha! 112 00:05:28,657 --> 00:05:31,020 - David Beckham! - David Beckham! 113 00:05:31,168 --> 00:05:33,656 - Thanks for letting me and Anne have a sleepover. - Mmm... 114 00:05:33,656 --> 00:05:37,865 Oh, it's all above board. There's no, erm, ahem, sexual component. 115 00:05:38,166 --> 00:05:41,751 Mind you, if I weren't married, I'd be like a rat up a drainpipe! 116 00:05:41,776 --> 00:05:44,261 Oh, ha-ha-ha! Stop it, David! 117 00:05:44,261 --> 00:05:47,280 - Ha-ha-ha-ha! - How did you two meet? 118 00:05:47,280 --> 00:05:49,174 Oh, at, erm, a reunion of 119 00:05:49,199 --> 00:05:51,746 past winners of Sports Personality of the Year. 120 00:05:51,909 --> 00:05:55,037 - We were both in the bog, avoiding Nigel Mansell. - Hmm. 121 00:05:55,327 --> 00:05:58,676 I think stumbling into that cubicle was the best day of my life! 122 00:05:59,263 --> 00:06:01,807 Yeah, it was like I'd won the Lottery. 123 00:06:01,807 --> 00:06:03,986 Oh, David, ha-ha-ha-ha! 124 00:06:08,409 --> 00:06:11,456 Oh, Harry, potato printing! 125 00:06:11,481 --> 00:06:13,004 That's a great educational 126 00:06:13,029 --> 00:06:14,755 activity to do with Archie. 127 00:06:14,780 --> 00:06:16,441 Oh, no, he's out with Nanny. 128 00:06:16,977 --> 00:06:20,044 - What are they? - I got them from the Queen's library. 129 00:06:20,069 --> 00:06:21,980 I'm going to research your family tree. 130 00:06:22,005 --> 00:06:25,473 - Yeah, but why don't you just look at a tea towel? - Ho-ho! Oh, Harry! 131 00:06:25,879 --> 00:06:27,754 It's for Archie's journey. 132 00:06:28,026 --> 00:06:30,924 Because if we don't know where we're from, how can we truly know 133 00:06:30,949 --> 00:06:32,774 where we're going? - Well, exactly. 134 00:06:33,054 --> 00:06:34,833 Oh, here's something. 135 00:06:34,858 --> 00:06:37,464 Charles ll set up the RAC. 136 00:06:37,553 --> 00:06:39,068 The Royal Automobile Club. 137 00:06:39,173 --> 00:06:41,702 Cars weren't invented in 1660. 138 00:06:41,999 --> 00:06:44,819 - It stands for the Royal African Company. - Well, I'm sure 139 00:06:44,844 --> 00:06:46,570 that's something really helpful too. 140 00:06:46,595 --> 00:06:47,984 Boof! 141 00:06:48,009 --> 00:06:49,071 Prr... Psch! 142 00:06:50,958 --> 00:06:54,278 Hello. Are you selling jam? 143 00:06:56,733 --> 00:06:58,392 You should be very proud of yourself. 144 00:07:00,133 --> 00:07:01,374 Hello. 145 00:07:02,229 --> 00:07:03,659 Are you selling cakes? 146 00:07:03,684 --> 00:07:05,196 CROWD LAUGHS 147 00:07:05,514 --> 00:07:06,738 Hello? 148 00:07:06,763 --> 00:07:08,336 Are you selling ca...? 149 00:07:09,341 --> 00:07:11,387 LAUGHTER CONTINUES 150 00:07:11,412 --> 00:07:13,041 Marry Ryan Reynolds, 151 00:07:13,066 --> 00:07:14,841 shag Harry Styles, 152 00:07:14,866 --> 00:07:18,056 and kill Ed Sheeran! LAUGHTER 153 00:07:19,165 --> 00:07:21,282 - What are you doing? - I'm being a normal person. 154 00:07:21,307 --> 00:07:23,066 You have to maintain dignity. 155 00:07:23,091 --> 00:07:24,787 MAN SHOUTS: You're a breath of fresh air! 156 00:07:24,812 --> 00:07:28,802 - Yes, she's wonderful, isn't she? Ha-ha-ha! - Right, 157 00:07:28,827 --> 00:07:32,076 now I think it's time to see who's got the biggest carrot... 158 00:07:32,669 --> 00:07:34,640 then I'll judge the vegetables! 159 00:07:34,665 --> 00:07:38,036 LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE WOMAN SHOUTS: We love you, Pippa! 160 00:07:40,294 --> 00:07:41,676 MAN SHOUTS: Give us a song! 161 00:07:41,701 --> 00:07:42,763 All right! 162 00:07:42,788 --> 00:07:46,444 MUSIC STARTS UP 163 00:07:46,469 --> 00:07:49,837 CHEERING 164 00:07:49,862 --> 00:07:52,868 ? ..To a bunch of cool cats that dance the night away... ? 165 00:07:52,893 --> 00:07:56,221 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 166 00:07:56,246 --> 00:08:00,101 ? Falling for you once more 167 00:08:00,172 --> 00:08:03,641 ? Like a silly fool 168 00:08:04,018 --> 00:08:07,434 ? Life can be so cruel 169 00:08:07,728 --> 00:08:10,314 ? I don't like it... ? 170 00:08:10,539 --> 00:08:15,392 UPBEAT MUSIC 171 00:08:16,213 --> 00:08:21,733 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 172 00:08:26,194 --> 00:08:27,909 We should have just old her on the phone. 173 00:08:27,946 --> 00:08:30,568 But this is the last time we're ever going to see her! 174 00:08:30,593 --> 00:08:32,725 We have to do the live launch of Diamond Dignity 175 00:08:32,750 --> 00:08:35,415 from my place tonight. - I don't know. 176 00:08:35,475 --> 00:08:38,199 - Cutting her out of our lives, just for money! 177 00:08:38,223 --> 00:08:39,708 - What would Dad do? 178 00:08:40,227 --> 00:08:41,458 Oh, yeah. 179 00:08:41,528 --> 00:08:42,628 SHE KNOCKS ON DOOR 180 00:08:43,918 --> 00:08:45,472 0h, girls! 181 00:08:45,472 --> 00:08:48,805 Oh, I knew you wouldn't forget Mother's Day! 182 00:08:49,073 --> 00:08:51,190 Oh, are those for me? Yeah. Oh! 183 00:08:51,215 --> 00:08:53,016 Ha-ha-ha-ha! 184 00:08:53,702 --> 00:08:56,278 - Mummy, why are you wearing that dress? - Oh, yeah, 185 00:08:56,303 --> 00:08:57,871 I had to sell my other frocks, girls, 186 00:08:57,896 --> 00:08:59,246 but, ah, I kept this one 187 00:08:59,271 --> 00:09:02,211 for sentimental reasons. - Because it reminds you of Dad? 188 00:09:02,211 --> 00:09:05,161 No, Wham!. Ha-ha-ha-ha! 189 00:09:05,186 --> 00:09:06,735 I can still get into it, apart from 190 00:09:06,933 --> 00:09:08,242 a few safety pins. 191 00:09:09,045 --> 00:09:10,216 So, are you taking me out? 192 00:09:10,216 --> 00:09:12,722 Er, of course, Mummy. 193 00:09:12,747 --> 00:09:14,450 Young Guns Go for it! 194 00:09:18,471 --> 00:09:22,303 Goodness me, we've never taken his much money in a day before! 195 00:09:22,328 --> 00:09:23,470 I told you, sir. 196 00:09:23,869 --> 00:09:26,508 People really pay �500 for 197 00:09:26,533 --> 00:09:28,054 a pair of gardening gloves, 198 00:09:28,079 --> 00:09:30,196 just because they've got my face on them? 199 00:09:30,196 --> 00:09:31,892 Oh, of course, sir. HE CHUCKLES 200 00:09:31,917 --> 00:09:34,973 I think the �800 wickerwork owl should be somewhere 201 00:09:34,998 --> 00:09:37,161 more prominent. - Perhaps flanked by 202 00:09:37,186 --> 00:09:39,436 the �900 wickerwork squirrel. - No! 203 00:09:39,491 --> 00:09:41,930 Not in front of your book! - Prue. 204 00:09:42,014 --> 00:09:44,709 Sorry, sir. It's just that I... 205 00:09:45,115 --> 00:09:46,991 I love it so much. 206 00:09:47,159 --> 00:09:49,942 I've read it so many times, it's almost like I'm... 207 00:09:50,142 --> 00:09:51,866 inside your mind. 208 00:09:52,211 --> 00:09:54,989 Yes, quite a place to hang out, isn't it? 209 00:09:54,989 --> 00:09:57,376 Now, how much do you think we should charge 210 00:09:57,376 --> 00:09:59,588 for this silly little bag of pine cones? 211 00:09:59,665 --> 00:10:00,928 �1,000 212 00:10:01,977 --> 00:10:04,812 You do know the gardener just picks them up off of the ground 213 00:10:04,837 --> 00:10:07,527 and puts them in this silly little bag? - Yes! 214 00:10:14,467 --> 00:10:15,567 What's up? 215 00:10:15,937 --> 00:10:19,748 I've found out what Charles ll used the Royal African Company for. 216 00:10:20,426 --> 00:10:21,826 Slavery! 217 00:10:22,483 --> 00:10:24,620 Oh. Well, that's not so bad, is it? 218 00:10:24,620 --> 00:10:27,651 - Not so bad?! - Well, it's just a bloke on a trumpet, 219 00:10:27,729 --> 00:10:31,818 another bloke on double bass, and maybe a guy on vibes? 220 00:10:31,930 --> 00:10:33,566 No, that's jazz. 221 00:10:33,669 --> 00:10:35,987 Oh, is it? What's slavery, then? 222 00:10:36,990 --> 00:10:39,094 Oh. Yah, that is bad, isn't it? 223 00:10:39,094 --> 00:10:42,869 Have you any idea how disruptive this will be to Archie's narrative? 224 00:10:42,869 --> 00:10:44,623 Well, it was a long time ago, wasn't it? 225 00:10:44,623 --> 00:10:47,500 It must've been, what, the 1970s? 226 00:10:47,525 --> 00:10:49,429 It was a lot longer ago than that. 227 00:10:49,634 --> 00:10:51,158 Well, there we are, then! 228 00:10:51,636 --> 00:10:53,066 Don't you understand? 229 00:10:53,228 --> 00:10:54,980 Buying a person and forcing them 230 00:10:55,005 --> 00:10:58,374 to spend their lives working on a sugar plantation is wrong. 231 00:10:58,399 --> 00:11:01,439 Oh, yah, no, you said this before. Sugar is poison. 232 00:11:01,491 --> 00:11:02,698 That's not my point! 233 00:11:03,853 --> 00:11:05,173 Not this time. 234 00:11:07,663 --> 00:11:11,142 So, I've looked up and I've seen Scholesy in the box 235 00:11:11,142 --> 00:11:12,566 screaming for it. 236 00:11:12,566 --> 00:11:14,095 I put the ball on his nut 237 00:11:14,120 --> 00:11:16,410 and he stuck it in the top left-hand corner. 238 00:11:16,410 --> 00:11:19,708 Ha-ha-ha! David, you're priceless! 239 00:11:19,848 --> 00:11:21,564 Er, I need the bog. 240 00:11:23,311 --> 00:11:25,203 So... 241 00:11:25,203 --> 00:11:27,017 what do you think? 242 00:11:28,092 --> 00:11:30,825 Yah, yah, he's a good bloke. 243 00:11:30,850 --> 00:11:33,753 You're right, he's the perfect man, isn't he? 244 00:11:33,838 --> 00:11:36,620 And he's contributed So much to the nation. 245 00:11:38,054 --> 00:11:39,882 Oh, I wonder, 246 00:11:39,907 --> 00:11:42,324 do you think he should have some sort of title? 247 00:11:42,937 --> 00:11:44,548 A knighthood, perhaps? 248 00:11:45,290 --> 00:11:46,376 A knighthood? 249 00:11:46,376 --> 00:11:49,821 Well, he is one of England's best EVER footballers. 250 00:11:49,821 --> 00:11:52,297 But only two of the England team who won the World Cup got knighthoods, 251 00:11:52,322 --> 00:11:54,795 and didn't David only ever make it to the quarterfinals? 252 00:11:55,246 --> 00:11:58,066 I suppose I could recommend him for an OBE. 253 00:11:58,388 --> 00:12:00,393 An O B EEE?! 254 00:12:00,488 --> 00:12:03,503 - Yah, it's still good. - He's got an OBE! 255 00:12:03,658 --> 00:12:04,658 No! 256 00:12:04,683 --> 00:12:06,238 No! Knighthood. 257 00:12:06,263 --> 00:12:07,665 Knighthood. Knighthood. 258 00:12:07,665 --> 00:12:10,280 - I'll give it some thought. - I should hope you will! 259 00:12:10,280 --> 00:12:13,727 SHE WHINNIES 260 00:12:23,625 --> 00:12:26,087 She was doing a medley of World War ll songs. 261 00:12:26,174 --> 00:12:27,798 Now they've asked her instead of me 262 00:12:27,823 --> 00:12:29,727 to open an old people's dance centre. 263 00:12:30,000 --> 00:12:32,200 Wills, you're not listening to a single word I've said. 264 00:12:32,225 --> 00:12:33,455 Oh, sorry darling. 265 00:12:33,480 --> 00:12:36,290 I'm just so worried about this whole Anne, David Beckham thing. 266 00:12:36,315 --> 00:12:38,542 Well, I think it's wonderful she's found a friend. 267 00:12:38,567 --> 00:12:41,394 No, I think he's using her to get a knighthood. 268 00:12:41,808 --> 00:12:43,886 But that would mean manipulating the honour system 269 00:12:43,911 --> 00:12:45,831 and that's simply not possible, is it? 270 00:12:46,452 --> 00:12:47,452 True. 271 00:12:47,605 --> 00:12:49,449 I still think he's using her. 272 00:12:50,303 --> 00:12:51,403 I'm going to tell her. 273 00:12:51,574 --> 00:12:55,970 Wills, do you think I should be more, well, fun? 274 00:12:56,731 --> 00:13:00,198 You are a safe pair of hands, that's what we want from a future queen. 275 00:13:00,198 --> 00:13:01,445 They don't come to you for fun. 276 00:13:01,613 --> 00:13:03,066 They come to you for tradition. 277 00:13:03,091 --> 00:13:04,551 Who cares if that's boring? 278 00:13:10,807 --> 00:13:12,819 It's just before lunch. 279 00:13:13,136 --> 00:13:14,740 Where have all the customers gone? 280 00:13:14,765 --> 00:13:16,975 They've gone off me, it's over. 281 00:13:17,751 --> 00:13:19,737 Course not, we're just having an off day. 282 00:13:19,979 --> 00:13:21,365 The people still love you. 283 00:13:21,390 --> 00:13:22,882 Well, then, where are they? 284 00:13:22,907 --> 00:13:25,370 Probably all watching a documentary about you. 285 00:13:25,679 --> 00:13:27,464 I know that's what I'd be doing. 286 00:13:27,581 --> 00:13:29,204 Right, shall we go for lunch? 287 00:13:29,229 --> 00:13:30,354 Right, erm. 288 00:13:30,379 --> 00:13:31,472 Won't be a sec. 289 00:13:35,030 --> 00:13:37,445 Did I make a mistake with that woman? 290 00:13:39,493 --> 00:13:41,126 No, you're right. 291 00:13:41,305 --> 00:13:43,796 I've always been a sound judge of character. 292 00:13:44,417 --> 00:13:45,738 Ready! 293 00:13:45,763 --> 00:13:48,715 Oh, my God, she's one of them. 294 00:13:49,087 --> 00:13:50,524 Do you like? 295 00:13:50,549 --> 00:13:52,721 It's what I wear when I'm' outside Buckingham Palace 296 00:13:52,746 --> 00:13:54,427 hoping to catch a glimpse of you. 297 00:13:54,911 --> 00:13:57,083 But I don't have to do that now, do I? 298 00:13:57,542 --> 00:14:00,260 I get to see you 299 00:14:00,495 --> 00:14:03,017 all the time. 300 00:14:06,061 --> 00:14:07,846 Oh, shit. 301 00:14:09,867 --> 00:14:12,760 Great idea to leave mum in Annabel's while we do our vlog. 302 00:14:12,760 --> 00:14:13,987 Here we go. 303 00:14:14,761 --> 00:14:18,785 Hi, and welcome to Keeping it Royal with B and E. 304 00:14:18,810 --> 00:14:21,927 Now, dignity's always something I've been very keen on, 305 00:14:21,952 --> 00:14:25,100 the way I carry myself, and my clothes, my... 306 00:14:25,125 --> 00:14:26,125 No. 307 00:14:26,854 --> 00:14:28,080 It's your smell. 308 00:14:28,105 --> 00:14:29,105 Oh, yeah. 309 00:14:29,130 --> 00:14:30,718 Mad coincidence. 310 00:14:30,743 --> 00:14:34,032 It's my perfume called Diamond Dignity. 311 00:14:34,651 --> 00:14:36,716 Who fancies a bottle of Newky Brown? 312 00:14:36,741 --> 00:14:38,151 Probably best steer clear. 313 00:14:38,176 --> 00:14:39,558 We're Skyping Prince Philip. 314 00:14:39,583 --> 00:14:42,760 Ohh. No. He loves me again since your wedding. 315 00:14:42,997 --> 00:14:45,028 Watcha, Phil! 316 00:14:46,877 --> 00:14:49,348 Oh, I wish I'd worn some underwear now. 317 00:14:54,154 --> 00:14:57,701 Oh, no, it's Japanese Consolidated Meats. 318 00:14:57,726 --> 00:14:58,726 Who are they? 319 00:14:58,751 --> 00:15:01,310 The parent company of Diamond Dignity. 320 00:15:01,916 --> 00:15:02,916 Uh! 321 00:15:09,393 --> 00:15:12,047 Wills, look what David's bought me. 322 00:15:12,647 --> 00:15:15,221 It's an under garment in a modern style. 323 00:15:15,330 --> 00:15:18,748 Instead of cleavage, it favours the under boob. 324 00:15:19,255 --> 00:15:20,255 Right. 325 00:15:21,971 --> 00:15:23,171 So, I was wondering, 326 00:15:23,196 --> 00:15:25,996 have you thought any more about David's knighthood? 327 00:15:26,072 --> 00:15:28,672 Er, to, to, to be honest, I haven't. 328 00:15:29,236 --> 00:15:33,436 Look, Anne, I think David might be using you. 329 00:15:34,150 --> 00:15:35,150 Using me? 330 00:15:35,175 --> 00:15:37,838 Yah, did he ask you to ask me for a knighthood? 331 00:15:37,863 --> 00:15:38,863 No. 332 00:15:38,888 --> 00:15:41,054 No, he'd never do that, we're friends. 333 00:15:41,079 --> 00:15:44,879 Unsullied by any sort of sexual component. 334 00:15:45,424 --> 00:15:47,800 I just, I don't want you getting hurt. 335 00:15:47,800 --> 00:15:49,367 And why shouldn't he have a knighthood? 336 00:15:49,367 --> 00:15:51,451 He's our most capped outfield player. 337 00:15:51,476 --> 00:15:54,276 Did he tell you that? 'Cos it's actually Wayne Rooney. 338 00:15:55,144 --> 00:15:56,144 Liar! 339 00:16:00,115 --> 00:16:02,871 To open our dance centre, Pippa Middleton! 340 00:16:09,420 --> 00:16:12,331 I declare this dance centre open. 341 00:16:16,862 --> 00:16:19,484 Kate, what are you doing here? 342 00:16:19,509 --> 00:16:20,959 You're not the only one who remembers 343 00:16:20,984 --> 00:16:22,837 what our gypsy grandmother taught us. 344 00:16:22,862 --> 00:16:24,077 WOW! 345 00:16:39,120 --> 00:16:40,182 You've been upstaging me 346 00:16:40,207 --> 00:16:42,547 since your arse took all the headlines at my wedding. 347 00:16:43,194 --> 00:16:45,821 And you've been boring the tits off everyone since you were ten. 348 00:16:50,647 --> 00:16:52,771 Still think royal duties are easy? 349 00:16:52,796 --> 00:16:55,139 Not easy, it's a piece of piss. 350 00:16:55,671 --> 00:16:57,804 And it's language like that that makes you completely 351 00:16:57,829 --> 00:16:59,749 unsuitable for royal engagements. 352 00:17:04,433 --> 00:17:05,468 Ole! 353 00:17:06,781 --> 00:17:09,096 Even though I'll be Britain's queen one day, 354 00:17:09,236 --> 00:17:11,064 I'll always be more gypsy than you. 355 00:17:11,089 --> 00:17:12,847 Oh, every time. 356 00:17:20,155 --> 00:17:21,735 Prue, we need to talk. 357 00:17:21,760 --> 00:17:23,681 I could listen to you talk all day. 358 00:17:24,916 --> 00:17:27,000 Look, there's no easy way to do this, 359 00:17:27,025 --> 00:17:31,087 so, I'm going to just have to come straight out and say it. 360 00:17:31,993 --> 00:17:33,393 Ah... 361 00:17:37,004 --> 00:17:38,004 You're sacked. 362 00:17:38,029 --> 00:17:39,966 - What? - It's your prices. 363 00:17:41,019 --> 00:17:43,979 This graph will make it easier to explain. 364 00:17:44,004 --> 00:17:47,290 We have price versus stupidity of the public. 365 00:17:47,529 --> 00:17:51,448 People will pay ludicrous sums for products associated with me. 366 00:17:51,804 --> 00:17:52,804 I know. 367 00:17:52,829 --> 00:17:56,211 But there comes a point where even the most hardened royalist 368 00:17:56,245 --> 00:17:57,797 baulks at paying more. 369 00:17:57,822 --> 00:18:01,663 It's what economists call the shit for brains saturation point. 370 00:18:02,302 --> 00:18:04,738 As you can see, we're well beyond it. 371 00:18:05,317 --> 00:18:07,723 So you're firing me? Just like that? 372 00:18:07,748 --> 00:18:09,252 I'm afraid so. 373 00:18:09,764 --> 00:18:10,964 I understand now. 374 00:18:10,991 --> 00:18:12,091 Oh, good. 375 00:18:12,116 --> 00:18:14,801 It means we can continue our relationship without work 376 00:18:14,826 --> 00:18:16,424 getting in the way. 377 00:18:16,424 --> 00:18:18,256 You just don't get it, do you? 378 00:18:18,281 --> 00:18:19,281 What do you mean? 379 00:18:19,306 --> 00:18:21,296 It's over, there's no other word for it. 380 00:18:21,321 --> 00:18:23,291 - Smith, Bennet! - No! 381 00:18:23,316 --> 00:18:27,409 - Deal with her. - Charles! I love you! 382 00:18:27,760 --> 00:18:30,004 You're everything to me. 383 00:18:32,322 --> 00:18:34,128 - If I can't have you... - She's got my knife. 384 00:18:34,128 --> 00:18:35,128 ...no-one will. 385 00:18:35,153 --> 00:18:36,529 I'm too young to die. 386 00:18:36,554 --> 00:18:37,591 Argh! 387 00:18:39,198 --> 00:18:42,616 Geee, she's fallen down my geothermal bore hole. 388 00:18:43,520 --> 00:18:46,672 Yah, well, it's the way she would've wanted to go. 389 00:18:50,515 --> 00:18:52,168 OK, goodbye. 390 00:18:54,238 --> 00:18:55,238 Well? 391 00:18:55,263 --> 00:18:57,115 They're giving us a second chance. 392 00:18:57,140 --> 00:18:58,140 But? 393 00:18:58,165 --> 00:18:59,957 We can never see Mummy again. 394 00:18:59,982 --> 00:19:02,132 And this time, they mean it. 395 00:19:02,732 --> 00:19:05,177 Well, I suppose this is goodbye. 396 00:19:05,345 --> 00:19:08,265 No, I'm getting married next week, remember. 397 00:19:08,290 --> 00:19:09,888 And Mummy has to be there. 398 00:19:09,948 --> 00:19:12,667 We are wrong to even consider giving up Mummy. 399 00:19:12,760 --> 00:19:15,228 Even for a million pounds a year each. 400 00:19:15,253 --> 00:19:16,893 Oh, a million pounds? 401 00:19:16,918 --> 00:19:19,571 Oh, no, girls, you have to be sensible. 402 00:19:19,790 --> 00:19:20,790 What do you mean? 403 00:19:20,815 --> 00:19:25,539 Girls, all my life, my poor impulse control has been holding you back. 404 00:19:26,166 --> 00:19:28,732 No, it's, it's, time you made your own way. 405 00:19:29,290 --> 00:19:31,116 I'm going out now. 406 00:19:32,068 --> 00:19:35,432 I may be some time. 407 00:19:35,597 --> 00:19:36,597 Mummy! 408 00:19:36,622 --> 00:19:38,377 Sounds like she's pretty definite. 409 00:19:38,402 --> 00:19:39,402 Eugenie. 410 00:19:39,565 --> 00:19:41,078 All right. 411 00:19:41,103 --> 00:19:42,103 Wait. 412 00:19:42,128 --> 00:19:43,187 Oh, girls. 413 00:19:43,318 --> 00:19:45,231 We can live without money. 414 00:19:45,256 --> 00:19:47,597 But we can't live without Mummy. 415 00:19:47,622 --> 00:19:51,046 Oh, girls. 416 00:19:54,218 --> 00:19:59,438 I can't make up for slavery, but I can make boiled egg and soldiers. 417 00:20:00,246 --> 00:20:01,246 Meghan? 418 00:20:04,032 --> 00:20:07,498 "I'm leaving, this was the final straw." 419 00:20:08,931 --> 00:20:12,032 Prince Philip's Big Book of Ethnic Slurs. 420 00:20:13,652 --> 00:20:14,962 Shit it! 421 00:20:16,839 --> 00:20:18,595 Peepog 422 00:20:19,167 --> 00:20:21,007 Cuckoo! 423 00:20:21,249 --> 00:20:22,696 David? 424 00:20:25,857 --> 00:20:28,026 Who decides these honours? 425 00:20:28,051 --> 00:20:32,796 Katherine Jenkins got an OBE, for what, singing at the rugby? 426 00:20:33,368 --> 00:20:35,832 They're unappreciative BLEEP. 427 00:20:36,762 --> 00:20:37,762 Anne? 428 00:20:37,787 --> 00:20:40,324 - So, it's true. - What is? 429 00:20:40,349 --> 00:20:42,674 I've read your e-mail. 430 00:20:43,143 --> 00:20:44,705 I wrote that ages ago, 431 00:20:44,730 --> 00:20:48,328 that's based on outdated material taken out of context. 432 00:20:48,504 --> 00:20:49,669 It's been doctored. 433 00:20:49,694 --> 00:20:50,980 Wills was right. 434 00:20:51,005 --> 00:20:52,842 You were using me. 435 00:20:53,036 --> 00:20:55,256 Everything has been a lie. 436 00:20:55,994 --> 00:20:58,312 You probably don't even like Black Beauty. 437 00:20:58,337 --> 00:20:59,337 I do. 438 00:20:59,362 --> 00:21:01,129 It's about a horse, innit? 439 00:21:01,856 --> 00:21:03,238 A black one? 440 00:21:03,503 --> 00:21:05,264 You've humiliated me. 441 00:21:06,377 --> 00:21:09,416 Can't believe I had this tattoo done! 442 00:21:09,595 --> 00:21:10,808 That'll laser off. 443 00:21:10,833 --> 00:21:13,162 Come on, Anne, we're friends, aren't we? 444 00:21:14,293 --> 00:21:15,595 How did you do that? 445 00:21:15,620 --> 00:21:17,724 Anne, what's going on? 446 00:21:18,115 --> 00:21:19,115 You were right!! 447 00:21:19,565 --> 00:21:21,365 He made a fool of me. 448 00:21:21,839 --> 00:21:24,612 I will return home and never show my emotions again. 449 00:21:24,637 --> 00:21:26,437 although I shall leave out the wedding banquet 450 00:21:26,462 --> 00:21:29,747 I prepared for us til the whole house is covered in cobwebs. 451 00:21:29,772 --> 00:21:31,332 But it's already covered in cobwebs. 452 00:21:31,447 --> 00:21:32,690 - Is it? - Mm. 453 00:21:32,715 --> 00:21:34,780 Oh, well, I sleep in the stables anyway. 454 00:21:35,050 --> 00:21:36,868 With the horses. 455 00:21:36,908 --> 00:21:38,581 Neigh!! 456 00:21:42,163 --> 00:21:45,156 So, Wills, think I can have a knighthood? 457 00:21:46,599 --> 00:21:48,200 That's for Auntie Anne. 458 00:21:50,797 --> 00:21:53,044 And that's for trying to corrupt the honours system. 459 00:21:53,660 --> 00:21:55,139 Urgh. 460 00:21:57,749 --> 00:21:58,749 Meghan! 461 00:21:58,975 --> 00:22:00,765 - Meghan. - Harry? 462 00:22:00,890 --> 00:22:02,969 Meghan, please don't go. 463 00:22:03,266 --> 00:22:07,319 You were right, the royal family's involvement in slavery was wrong. 464 00:22:07,686 --> 00:22:09,251 And Grandad is a racist. 465 00:22:09,276 --> 00:22:13,749 Oh, Harry, that's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me. 466 00:22:13,910 --> 00:22:15,840 Well, kiss her then, you doughnut. 467 00:22:17,710 --> 00:22:19,874 Hooray, well done, Harry. 468 00:22:22,630 --> 00:22:24,124 But we can't stay here. 469 00:22:24,490 --> 00:22:26,742 Not after what your family have done. 470 00:22:27,128 --> 00:22:30,637 Plus I'm being commoditised by the British tabloid press. 471 00:22:31,337 --> 00:22:32,923 I want us to relocate. 472 00:22:33,905 --> 00:22:35,597 To North America. 473 00:22:36,304 --> 00:22:37,395 All right. 474 00:22:39,682 --> 00:22:40,682 Where is it? 475 00:22:41,646 --> 00:22:44,837 No, no, Camilla, it's very quiet here. 476 00:22:46,659 --> 00:22:47,659 Eeeugrgh. 477 00:22:47,684 --> 00:22:49,879 Er, darling, it's Donald Trump. 478 00:22:51,413 --> 00:22:52,577 Eur-h. 479 00:22:53,382 --> 00:22:54,785 Mr President. 480 00:22:56,301 --> 00:22:57,396 Go on. 481 00:22:59,201 --> 00:23:01,488 Yes, I accept. 482 00:23:01,958 --> 00:23:07,782 I'd be delighted to become King of America. 483 00:23:07,832 --> 00:23:12,382 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 35350

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