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♪ It seems today
that all you see ♪
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00:00:04,863 --> 00:00:08,227
♪ Is violence in movies
and sex on TV ♪
3
00:00:08,251 --> 00:00:11,846
♪ But where are those
good old-fashioned values ♪
4
00:00:11,870 --> 00:00:14,683
♪ On which we used to rely? ♪
5
00:00:14,707 --> 00:00:18,144
♪ Lucky there's a family guy ♪
6
00:00:18,168 --> 00:00:21,498
♪ Lucky there's a man
who positively can do ♪
7
00:00:21,522 --> 00:00:22,983
♪ All the things that make us ♪
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00:00:23,007 --> 00:00:24,668
♪ Laugh and cry ♪
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00:00:24,692 --> 00:00:30,029
♪ He's... a...
Fam... ily... Guy! ♪
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What's up, fellas?
What can I get you guys tonight?
11
00:00:37,563 --> 00:00:38,590
- Beer.
- Beer.
12
00:00:38,614 --> 00:00:40,000
- Beer.
- I'll have just, like, a...
13
00:00:40,024 --> 00:00:41,518
a chicken salad or something.
14
00:00:41,542 --> 00:00:43,020
- What?
- Chicken salad.
15
00:00:43,044 --> 00:00:44,021
Or whatever's easiest.
16
00:00:44,045 --> 00:00:46,006
Probably chicken salad.
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00:00:46,030 --> 00:00:49,676
Hey, uh, Jerome, can you give us
a minute to discuss this
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as a group?
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00:00:51,294 --> 00:00:54,014
Quagmire, excuse
my Wisconsin mouth, but...
20
00:00:54,038 --> 00:00:55,774
why the heck
are you not drinkin',
21
00:00:55,798 --> 00:00:57,368
for cripes' sake?
22
00:00:57,392 --> 00:01:00,020
Are you doing the keto diet
so you lose a bunch of weight
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00:01:00,044 --> 00:01:02,856
and it makes you look
like you got a mascot head?
24
00:01:02,880 --> 00:01:05,191
No, I'm on medication,
so I can't drink, okay?
25
00:01:05,215 --> 00:01:07,235
And I'm not gonna say
what it's for.
26
00:01:07,259 --> 00:01:09,904
I'll-I'll just say the
pharmacist whispers it to me.
27
00:01:09,928 --> 00:01:11,957
So you haven't been drinking
all week?
28
00:01:11,981 --> 00:01:13,717
What have you been doing?
29
00:01:13,741 --> 00:01:15,035
Just mostly going to bed early.
30
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Like really early.
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00:01:16,435 --> 00:01:18,204
Like so early
you still hear people outside
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00:01:18,228 --> 00:01:19,615
mowing their lawns.
33
00:01:19,639 --> 00:01:22,042
But it's not that bad...
Th-there's plenty of sober stuff
34
00:01:22,066 --> 00:01:24,210
- we can do together.
- Ugh, like what? Fly kites?
35
00:01:24,234 --> 00:01:27,380
That's stupid, or is it?
I'm in. I have a kite in my car.
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00:01:27,404 --> 00:01:28,957
What about an escape room?
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00:01:28,981 --> 00:01:31,902
If we can't drink, we might
as well lock ourselves in a room
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00:01:31,926 --> 00:01:33,237
with no windows.
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00:01:33,261 --> 00:01:34,980
Cleveland, I could kiss you!
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My heart says yes,
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00:01:36,764 --> 00:01:39,557
but my Lord says no.
42
00:01:43,295 --> 00:01:47,776
Hello, puzzlers.
Welcome to my escape room!
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00:01:47,800 --> 00:01:49,069
For those of you
who've never played before,
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00:01:49,093 --> 00:01:50,403
the game is simple.
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00:01:50,427 --> 00:01:52,164
You will all be locked
in identical rooms
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where you will solve
a series of puzzles
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00:01:53,856 --> 00:01:56,076
using clues hidden
around the room.
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00:01:56,100 --> 00:01:58,870
First family to escape wins!
49
00:01:58,894 --> 00:02:00,789
Will-will there be fractions?
50
00:02:00,813 --> 00:02:03,083
I was told
there would be no fractions.
51
00:02:03,107 --> 00:02:04,601
Well, whoever told you that
was half right.
52
00:02:04,625 --> 00:02:05,844
Eh?
53
00:02:05,868 --> 00:02:07,771
Now, I know what
some of you are thinking.
54
00:02:07,795 --> 00:02:10,349
Yes, I look like a man
who owns domestic rats.
55
00:02:10,373 --> 00:02:13,259
Yes, I do own domestic rats.
56
00:02:13,283 --> 00:02:15,520
Yes, they've eaten
a few of my toes.
57
00:02:15,544 --> 00:02:17,472
Yes, the rats are missing.
58
00:02:17,496 --> 00:02:19,933
Yes, this current talk
is being videotaped
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00:02:19,957 --> 00:02:22,953
and will be used as my legal
release of responsibility
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00:02:22,977 --> 00:02:25,789
if aforementioned
toe-eating rats were to nibble,
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00:02:25,813 --> 00:02:28,700
bite or maul any of
the present participants' toes.
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00:02:28,724 --> 00:02:31,111
Yes, it's held up
in court before.
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00:02:31,135 --> 00:02:34,631
Yes, this is the "odd speech"
cited in our Yelp reviews.
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00:02:34,655 --> 00:02:35,799
But most importantly...
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00:02:35,823 --> 00:02:38,802
have fun...!
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00:02:38,826 --> 00:02:41,046
You guys want to bet
on who finishes first? Huh?
67
00:02:41,070 --> 00:02:43,957
I had a night coffee,
so I'm feeling jazzed.
68
00:02:43,981 --> 00:02:46,835
; Well, I... I don't
know if we should be betting.
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00:02:46,859 --> 00:02:49,221
Our family kind of has
an unfair advantage.
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00:02:49,245 --> 00:02:51,631
I mean, I'm a detective.
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00:02:51,655 --> 00:02:53,133
- No.
- Okay.
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00:02:53,157 --> 00:02:55,468
So what?
Peter's made for these games.
73
00:02:55,492 --> 00:02:57,846
He's got a big fat
puzzle-solving brain.
74
00:02:57,870 --> 00:03:00,065
I mean, look at his head.
It's huge!
75
00:03:00,089 --> 00:03:01,141
Look at it!
76
00:03:01,165 --> 00:03:03,015
Yeah, yeah, look at it.
77
00:03:04,001 --> 00:03:05,996
Hey, Chris, you want an edible?
78
00:03:06,020 --> 00:03:07,689
Meg?!
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00:03:07,713 --> 00:03:09,241
Yes.
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00:03:12,885 --> 00:03:14,579
"Welcome, Detectives."
81
00:03:14,603 --> 00:03:17,323
I love this already.
82
00:03:17,347 --> 00:03:19,033
Uh, "A client needs your help."
83
00:03:19,057 --> 00:03:21,703
"His name is in the address book
in your desk,
84
00:03:21,727 --> 00:03:23,514
"but you can't find the key.
85
00:03:23,538 --> 00:03:26,183
"Try looking
in the last place you left them.
86
00:03:26,207 --> 00:03:28,593
They might be hanging around."
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00:03:28,617 --> 00:03:30,187
Okay, where do people
leave their keys
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00:03:30,211 --> 00:03:31,688
when they come into a room?
89
00:03:31,712 --> 00:03:34,007
In the coat on the coat rack.
90
00:03:34,031 --> 00:03:36,176
Oh, oh, I know, I know.
In the corner of the room,
91
00:03:36,200 --> 00:03:38,028
'cause you threw 'em
at a ceiling spider.
92
00:03:38,052 --> 00:03:39,179
Yes! Check there!
93
00:03:39,203 --> 00:03:40,772
We don't need a key.
94
00:03:40,796 --> 00:03:43,534
I'll just yank on
the desk drawer until it opens.
95
00:03:43,558 --> 00:03:45,558
Strength over brains!
96
00:03:59,932 --> 00:04:02,886
Yes! This fat head
is already paying dividends!
97
00:04:02,910 --> 00:04:04,911
Okay.
98
00:04:07,081 --> 00:04:08,917
It was a trap.
99
00:04:08,941 --> 00:04:12,637
Everything on Groupon is just a
trick to Get Out black people.
100
00:04:12,661 --> 00:04:13,961
Aah, we're sinking.
101
00:04:15,147 --> 00:04:16,382
All right,
the name in the address book
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00:04:16,406 --> 00:04:18,068
is Anthony Fibonacci.
103
00:04:18,092 --> 00:04:21,596
Phone number:
235-blank-blank-3-
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00:04:21,620 --> 00:04:23,148
blank-blank-blank-blank.
105
00:04:23,172 --> 00:04:24,908
Those missing numbers are...
106
00:04:24,932 --> 00:04:26,935
Chris, stop picking
your elbow scab.
107
00:04:26,959 --> 00:04:28,895
- It'll never heal.
- It'll heal.
108
00:04:28,919 --> 00:04:30,655
The missing numbers
are what we need
109
00:04:30,679 --> 00:04:32,607
to unlock the keypad
on the door.
110
00:04:32,631 --> 00:04:34,776
Okay. Fibonacci...
That's Italian.
111
00:04:34,800 --> 00:04:37,237
So maybe if I just
start saying Italian stuff,
112
00:04:37,261 --> 00:04:39,756
I'll say the answer.
Spaghetti.
113
00:04:39,780 --> 00:04:41,115
Spaghetti.
114
00:04:41,139 --> 00:04:42,742
Mario Kart.
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00:04:42,766 --> 00:04:43,986
Pizza Hut.
116
00:04:44,010 --> 00:04:45,912
Look at those idiots.
Their thought process
117
00:04:45,936 --> 00:04:48,122
always involves food
or cultural stereotypes.
118
00:04:48,146 --> 00:04:50,175
Hitting a kid
with a wooden spoon.
119
00:04:50,199 --> 00:04:51,768
I mean, the answer is obvious.
120
00:04:51,792 --> 00:04:53,920
I know. Totally.
121
00:04:53,944 --> 00:04:55,922
Oh, oh, you're waiting for me
to keep going.
122
00:04:55,946 --> 00:04:57,332
The name is Fibonacci.
123
00:04:57,356 --> 00:04:59,926
Kissing a cross
before you get-a on a airplane.
124
00:04:59,950 --> 00:05:03,221
Fibonacci is also a reference
to a sequence of numbers
125
00:05:03,245 --> 00:05:04,931
where every number
after the first two
126
00:05:04,955 --> 00:05:07,100
is the sum
of the two preceding ones.
127
00:05:07,124 --> 00:05:10,120
It's from The Da Vinci Code,
and the answer is 2-3-5-
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00:05:10,144 --> 00:05:12,102
8-1-3-2-1-3-4.
129
00:05:13,505 --> 00:05:14,941
Guys, guys, guys,
you're thinking too hard.
130
00:05:14,965 --> 00:05:16,018
The answer is simple.
131
00:05:16,042 --> 00:05:18,111
Fibonacci is the name
of a number man
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00:05:18,135 --> 00:05:20,822
from The Da Vinci Code,
which was written by Tom Hanks,
133
00:05:20,846 --> 00:05:22,013
so the number is...
134
00:05:25,475 --> 00:05:29,381
Yes! That is why you bring a dog
with you everywhere you go.
135
00:05:29,405 --> 00:05:32,000
Even in Target, 'cause
who's gonna tell you you can't?
136
00:05:32,024 --> 00:05:33,334
The dead-eyed employees?
137
00:05:33,358 --> 00:05:34,978
No. No, they won't.
138
00:05:35,002 --> 00:05:37,127
'Cause they're cowards.
139
00:05:39,197 --> 00:05:40,300
Sir? Sir?
140
00:05:40,324 --> 00:05:41,726
What?!
141
00:05:41,750 --> 00:05:43,717
Nothing, it's stupid.
I'm-I'm... I'm sorry.
142
00:05:47,756 --> 00:05:50,018
Hey, Stewie,
we really crushed it last night
143
00:05:50,042 --> 00:05:51,311
in that escape room, huh?
144
00:05:51,335 --> 00:05:52,645
Ugh, don't say "crushed"
145
00:05:52,669 --> 00:05:54,314
like you're trying
to sell me a Range Rover.
146
00:05:54,338 --> 00:05:55,690
I did well, Brian.
147
00:05:55,714 --> 00:05:57,909
You just copied my answer
and took credit.
148
00:05:57,933 --> 00:05:58,985
Whatever, Stewie.
I don't know why
149
00:05:59,009 --> 00:06:00,820
I always need your validation.
150
00:06:00,844 --> 00:06:03,248
I should just let you enjoy
your superior intellect
151
00:06:03,272 --> 00:06:04,657
while you still have it.
152
00:06:04,681 --> 00:06:06,234
What does that mean?
153
00:06:06,258 --> 00:06:08,845
Oh. Did you think you were the
only smart baby in this family?
154
00:06:08,869 --> 00:06:10,911
Chris and Meg were
just as smart as you were.
155
00:06:13,616 --> 00:06:15,335
But once a Griffin hits puberty,
156
00:06:15,359 --> 00:06:17,187
they turn into
a full-blown bozo.
157
00:06:17,211 --> 00:06:18,713
Bozo the Clown?
158
00:06:18,737 --> 00:06:20,006
Yes, of course.
Bozo the Clown.
159
00:06:20,030 --> 00:06:21,433
What other Bozos are there?
160
00:06:21,457 --> 00:06:22,767
I... I don't know,
161
00:06:22,791 --> 00:06:25,553
Bozo the tax accountant?
162
00:06:25,577 --> 00:06:28,348
Well, the good news is, since
you do a sex advice podcast...
163
00:06:28,372 --> 00:06:31,017
Which I really like,
by the way... every time you...
164
00:06:31,041 --> 00:06:32,869
it's a write-off.
165
00:06:32,893 --> 00:06:34,854
- Really?
- Oh, yeah. And not just...
166
00:06:34,878 --> 00:06:36,356
also...
167
00:06:36,380 --> 00:06:38,589
and even...
168
00:06:39,567 --> 00:06:42,070
Are you kidding me?
169
00:06:42,094 --> 00:06:44,194
Do I look like I'm kidding?
170
00:06:48,317 --> 00:06:50,076
Whoa, what's this?
171
00:06:58,586 --> 00:07:00,713
This is my new invention:
172
00:07:00,737 --> 00:07:03,141
a gene-altering device, or GAD.
173
00:07:03,165 --> 00:07:06,019
Josh, if I'm feeling informal.
174
00:07:06,043 --> 00:07:07,387
I thought about
what you said yesterday
175
00:07:07,411 --> 00:07:08,888
about me growing up stupid.
176
00:07:08,912 --> 00:07:10,982
So I decided
to do something about it.
177
00:07:11,006 --> 00:07:12,984
I can't control
the DNA I was given,
178
00:07:13,008 --> 00:07:16,154
but now I can control
the DNA I want to keep.
179
00:07:16,178 --> 00:07:17,581
Stewie, that's crazy.
180
00:07:17,605 --> 00:07:18,731
No, it's not.
181
00:07:18,755 --> 00:07:20,400
Genetic modification is
a real thing.
182
00:07:20,424 --> 00:07:22,419
It's going to change the world,
183
00:07:22,443 --> 00:07:25,255
just like James Taylor
changed rock and roll.
184
00:07:25,279 --> 00:07:26,923
Hello, Martha's Vineyard.
185
00:07:26,947 --> 00:07:29,501
Are you ready to watch me
play guitar on a stool?
186
00:07:29,525 --> 00:07:30,594
Yes. Thank you.
187
00:07:30,618 --> 00:07:32,154
No, thank you.
188
00:07:32,178 --> 00:07:35,204
Now, here's a song that's
basically directions to Boston.
189
00:07:40,869 --> 00:07:44,107
All right, I've put in all my
desired genetic modifications.
190
00:07:44,131 --> 00:07:46,092
Any last words before I go in?
191
00:07:46,116 --> 00:07:48,353
Yeah, don't you think
you're being a little dramatic?
192
00:07:48,377 --> 00:07:49,971
Yes. Thank you.
193
00:07:49,995 --> 00:07:52,115
Stewie, I'm serious.
Messing around with your DNA
194
00:07:52,139 --> 00:07:54,142
could have dire consequences.
195
00:07:54,166 --> 00:07:56,310
Haven't you ever seen
the movie Splice?
196
00:07:56,334 --> 00:07:58,980
Yeah, no, and take that Citizen
Kane tone out of your voice.
197
00:07:59,004 --> 00:08:00,606
It's Splice.
198
00:08:00,630 --> 00:08:03,023
Okay. It's time.
199
00:08:12,901 --> 00:08:15,639
♪ As we go on ♪
200
00:08:15,663 --> 00:08:17,974
♪ We remember ♪
201
00:08:17,998 --> 00:08:20,168
♪ All the times we ♪
202
00:08:20,192 --> 00:08:22,387
- What are you doing?
- I'm singing to my old self.
203
00:08:22,411 --> 00:08:23,921
♪ Had together ♪
204
00:08:23,945 --> 00:08:25,631
It's a really nice moment
I'm making.
205
00:08:25,655 --> 00:08:28,485
♪ And as our lives change ♪
206
00:08:28,509 --> 00:08:30,845
- ♪ Come whatever ♪
- Do you want me to leave?
207
00:08:30,869 --> 00:08:32,989
Shut up!
I timed it to go off when I...
208
00:08:33,013 --> 00:08:35,141
♪ We will still be ♪
209
00:08:35,165 --> 00:08:36,401
♪ Friends forever. ♪
210
00:08:36,425 --> 00:08:38,058
Thanks a lot, dick.
211
00:08:45,601 --> 00:08:47,320
Did it work?
212
00:08:47,344 --> 00:08:50,179
Doggy. Big doggy.
213
00:08:54,351 --> 00:08:55,920
Oh, my God.
214
00:08:55,944 --> 00:08:59,349
I think taking out that DNA
turned you into a regular baby.
215
00:08:59,373 --> 00:09:01,582
Ha! Should've watched
Splice, bro.
216
00:09:09,908 --> 00:09:11,177
Doggy.
217
00:09:11,201 --> 00:09:12,529
Big doggy.
218
00:09:12,553 --> 00:09:15,181
That's right.
The big doggy.
219
00:09:15,205 --> 00:09:16,424
Good evening, folks.
220
00:09:16,448 --> 00:09:17,609
Would you like to hear
tonight's specials?
221
00:09:17,633 --> 00:09:19,778
Bah, bah, bah, bah,
ooh, bah, bah, bah!
222
00:09:19,802 --> 00:09:21,204
That was loud.
223
00:09:21,228 --> 00:09:23,356
So, what's everyone gonna get?
224
00:09:23,380 --> 00:09:25,191
Hey, Chris, watch.
I bet she orders
225
00:09:25,215 --> 00:09:27,878
the eggplant parmesan
like it's something fancy.
226
00:09:27,902 --> 00:09:29,880
I'm thinking
the eggplant parmesan.
227
00:09:29,904 --> 00:09:32,240
It'll be like we're in Italy!
228
00:09:32,264 --> 00:09:34,408
Ha! Our family
should wear uniforms
229
00:09:34,432 --> 00:09:36,795
with "Basic Bitches"
across the front.
230
00:09:36,819 --> 00:09:38,579
What's wrong
with eggplant parmesan?
231
00:09:38,603 --> 00:09:39,890
Nothing.
I was just making a joke.
232
00:09:39,914 --> 00:09:41,299
Stewie and I do it all the time.
233
00:09:41,323 --> 00:09:42,801
Stewie is a baby.
234
00:09:42,825 --> 00:09:45,136
You bad-mouth our family
to the baby?
235
00:09:45,160 --> 00:09:46,971
Forget it.
Forget I said anything.
236
00:09:46,995 --> 00:09:48,381
Mom! Dad!
237
00:09:48,405 --> 00:09:51,217
Brian's talking crap
about you guys to Stewie!
238
00:09:51,241 --> 00:09:52,736
- What?
- No, I wasn't.
239
00:09:52,760 --> 00:09:56,222
Yeah, he was. He said we're
a bunch of basic bitches.
240
00:09:56,246 --> 00:09:57,982
It's kinda true, yo.
241
00:09:58,006 --> 00:10:00,151
Brian, if I was
such a basic bitch,
242
00:10:00,175 --> 00:10:02,562
would I be wearing
solid black umpire's shoes?
243
00:10:02,586 --> 00:10:04,564
Umpires are cool.
244
00:10:04,588 --> 00:10:05,939
They make the rules.
245
00:10:07,441 --> 00:10:08,943
Water out!
246
00:10:08,967 --> 00:10:10,086
Are umpires not cool?
247
00:10:10,110 --> 00:10:11,922
I'm starting to feel foolish.
248
00:10:11,946 --> 00:10:14,282
Where the hell is my white wine
with Sprite in it?!
249
00:10:14,306 --> 00:10:17,001
Hi again. That man over there
reading a book by himself
250
00:10:17,025 --> 00:10:20,454
has offered to pay for your meal
if you move to a table outside.
251
00:10:20,478 --> 00:10:22,340
You're not the dick
in this situation.
252
00:10:22,364 --> 00:10:24,998
You're paying for their meal,
so you can't be the dick.
253
00:10:29,463 --> 00:10:31,090
- Cup.
- Yeah, cup. Wow.
254
00:10:31,114 --> 00:10:33,217
All right, time to go,
everybody.
255
00:10:33,241 --> 00:10:34,778
What? Where are we going?
256
00:10:34,802 --> 00:10:36,971
My cousin's getting married
this weekend.
257
00:10:36,995 --> 00:10:39,524
Brian, I need your help
with Stewie on the flight.
258
00:10:39,548 --> 00:10:42,216
- Sure, no problem.
- The iPad's broken.
259
00:10:45,479 --> 00:10:46,865
- Brian face.
- Mm-hmm.
260
00:10:46,889 --> 00:10:48,441
- Brian face.
- Yup.
261
00:10:48,465 --> 00:10:51,127
- Brian face.
- Only a few more now.
262
00:10:51,151 --> 00:10:53,630
Okay. All right.
263
00:10:53,654 --> 00:10:55,874
Got to be getting tired soon.
264
00:10:55,898 --> 00:10:57,825
You see,
when young kids act out,
265
00:10:57,849 --> 00:11:00,620
what they're really doing
is asking to be heard.
266
00:11:00,644 --> 00:11:02,830
They have very little control
in their lives,
267
00:11:02,854 --> 00:11:06,000
so the key, and I mean key...
268
00:11:06,024 --> 00:11:07,719
is to make them
an active participant
269
00:11:07,743 --> 00:11:09,145
in these decisions.
270
00:11:09,169 --> 00:11:10,838
And once you do that...
271
00:11:10,862 --> 00:11:14,651
you'll see...
a big... difference.
272
00:11:14,675 --> 00:11:17,562
Hi. Can I get some
of those tiny square napkins?
273
00:11:17,586 --> 00:11:20,681
Yeah, like-like
the most you're allowed to give.
274
00:11:20,705 --> 00:11:21,992
Now the bride and groom
275
00:11:22,016 --> 00:11:23,994
would like to share
a moment of silence
276
00:11:24,018 --> 00:11:27,146
to honor the family members
who have passed.
277
00:11:27,170 --> 00:11:29,523
They may not be with us
in person,
278
00:11:29,547 --> 00:11:32,316
but they are with us in spirit.
279
00:11:33,343 --> 00:11:34,671
- Poo-poo.
- No!
280
00:11:34,695 --> 00:11:37,081
We do not touch poo-poo
in this family.
281
00:11:37,105 --> 00:11:38,491
We do not touch poo-poo.
282
00:11:38,515 --> 00:11:39,992
No! Hands up.
283
00:11:40,016 --> 00:11:41,869
That's it.
Now there's no bubbles later.
284
00:11:41,893 --> 00:11:43,922
- Yes, bubbles!
- No bubbles.
285
00:11:43,946 --> 00:11:46,040
- You lost the bubbles.
- Yes, bubbles!
286
00:11:46,064 --> 00:11:47,409
Maybe you can earn them back.
287
00:11:47,433 --> 00:11:49,502
But as far as I'm concerned,
you've lost the bubbles.
288
00:11:49,526 --> 00:11:51,460
They're gone.
They're probably gone.
289
00:11:52,621 --> 00:11:54,546
Yay, bubbles!
290
00:11:56,199 --> 00:11:58,091
What?!
291
00:12:02,965 --> 00:12:04,850
I think it's time
to change you back, Stewie.
292
00:12:04,874 --> 00:12:07,370
As much as I hated being around
a condescending baby,
293
00:12:07,394 --> 00:12:10,206
I prefer that to a screaming bag
of leaking crap.
294
00:12:10,230 --> 00:12:12,022
Brian face.
295
00:12:14,259 --> 00:12:16,026
All right,
how do I use this thing?
296
00:12:19,097 --> 00:12:21,217
These are all just sketches
of Stewie
297
00:12:21,241 --> 00:12:23,450
with different
Hemsworth haircuts.
298
00:12:26,154 --> 00:12:28,391
It's got to be
on the computer somewhere.
299
00:12:28,415 --> 00:12:29,968
Here.
300
00:12:29,992 --> 00:12:33,396
"Restore original DNA profile."
Yes.
301
00:12:33,420 --> 00:12:36,757
"Would you like to add
a Hemsworth haircut?" No.
302
00:12:36,781 --> 00:12:38,309
"Are you sure?" Yes.
303
00:12:38,333 --> 00:12:39,978
"Really?" Yes.
304
00:12:40,002 --> 00:12:41,905
"Would you like
to first see a photo
305
00:12:41,929 --> 00:12:44,557
of what you're turning down?"
No.
306
00:12:44,581 --> 00:12:45,931
"Too bad."
307
00:12:48,418 --> 00:12:50,127
Just restore DNA.
308
00:12:53,941 --> 00:12:57,328
Whoops. "Edit, undo."
309
00:12:57,352 --> 00:13:00,590
Uh-oh. "Edit, redo."
310
00:13:00,614 --> 00:13:03,927
My God, I can't get back
to regular Stewie.
311
00:13:03,951 --> 00:13:05,286
What am I gonna do?
312
00:13:05,310 --> 00:13:07,536
I better go rewatch Splice.
313
00:13:16,488 --> 00:13:18,775
This is
Peter Griffin's Penis Video.
314
00:13:18,799 --> 00:13:20,090
Take one.
315
00:13:21,159 --> 00:13:22,303
Oh, my God.
316
00:13:22,327 --> 00:13:24,114
What do you think, bud?
317
00:13:24,138 --> 00:13:26,972
There's a Q and A
with the cast afterwards.
318
00:13:32,796 --> 00:13:34,958
No.
319
00:13:34,982 --> 00:13:36,484
- No.
- Stewiechu.
320
00:13:36,508 --> 00:13:37,902
No.
321
00:13:37,926 --> 00:13:40,988
Aw, he's gonna hate me
for changing this one.
322
00:13:41,012 --> 00:13:42,990
- Hello?
- Stewie?
323
00:13:43,014 --> 00:13:45,543
Brian, is my mouth in my butt?
324
00:13:45,567 --> 00:13:47,953
Yeah, my mouth's in my butt.
325
00:13:47,977 --> 00:13:50,974
- You got to fix this.
- I'm trying.
326
00:13:50,998 --> 00:13:53,143
Brian, where's my butt?
327
00:13:53,167 --> 00:13:55,751
No. No. No.
328
00:13:57,862 --> 00:13:58,890
Brian, you did it.
329
00:13:58,914 --> 00:14:00,316
No. Oh, (bleep)!
330
00:14:00,340 --> 00:14:01,757
Sorry. (bleep)
331
00:14:16,356 --> 00:14:18,001
You can fix this.
332
00:14:18,025 --> 00:14:19,318
You just need a little help.
333
00:14:19,342 --> 00:14:21,171
Just like how Sylvester Stallone
334
00:14:21,195 --> 00:14:22,914
needs help getting ready
in the morning.
335
00:14:22,938 --> 00:14:24,340
So, what are we thinking
this morning?
336
00:14:24,364 --> 00:14:26,325
I don't know. I like big face.
337
00:14:26,349 --> 00:14:29,537
Big, fat face.
Goatee with little, tiny eyes.
338
00:14:29,561 --> 00:14:31,664
Okay. And what about
for your body?
339
00:14:31,688 --> 00:14:34,208
Yeah, you know, veins.
All kinds of veins everywhere.
340
00:14:34,232 --> 00:14:36,583
L-Little rivers everywhere.
341
00:14:46,128 --> 00:14:48,514
So, do you think you can help me
get him back to normal?
342
00:14:48,538 --> 00:14:50,015
You came to the right guy.
343
00:14:50,039 --> 00:14:52,059
But first
I'm gonna need a few things.
344
00:14:52,083 --> 00:14:54,145
- Of course, anything.
- Go to the kitchen
345
00:14:54,169 --> 00:14:55,521
and grab
eight to ten dish towels.
346
00:14:55,545 --> 00:14:58,190
Tear 'em in half and lay 'em
on the floor in my room.
347
00:14:58,214 --> 00:14:59,692
Then I need two AA batteries.
348
00:14:59,716 --> 00:15:02,319
After that, go to Shake Shack
and pick up four burgers.
349
00:15:02,343 --> 00:15:03,904
Doesn't matter which ones.
They're all good.
350
00:15:03,928 --> 00:15:06,049
- How is that gonna help?
- You'll see!
351
00:15:06,073 --> 00:15:07,741
Finally, I need you to sew
352
00:15:07,765 --> 00:15:10,494
the long plastic tube
from the vacuum cleaner
353
00:15:10,518 --> 00:15:12,797
- onto this pair of underwear.
- Come on, Chris.
354
00:15:12,821 --> 00:15:14,415
Hey, you came to me, damn it.
355
00:15:14,439 --> 00:15:18,041
I can fix this,
but not if you don't trust me.
356
00:15:18,977 --> 00:15:21,547
Chris? It's been three hours.
357
00:15:21,571 --> 00:15:22,879
Any updates?
358
00:15:24,091 --> 00:15:27,384
You don't want
to be in here, dude.
359
00:15:36,294 --> 00:15:38,230
Stewie, I need your help.
360
00:15:38,254 --> 00:15:39,749
I know that there's got to be
361
00:15:39,773 --> 00:15:41,901
a part of you inside there
that can understand me,
362
00:15:41,925 --> 00:15:44,278
and maybe Rupert
can help you remember.
363
00:15:44,302 --> 00:15:47,090
Remember Rupert?
He's your best friend
364
00:15:47,114 --> 00:15:49,765
with whom you seem to have
a very sexual past.
365
00:15:57,699 --> 00:15:59,510
Yes, it's working.
366
00:15:59,534 --> 00:16:01,921
It's Rupert. Nice Rupert.
367
00:16:01,945 --> 00:16:04,038
Stewie loves Rupert.
368
00:16:05,281 --> 00:16:06,776
What the hell?
369
00:16:06,800 --> 00:16:08,853
Hello?
370
00:16:08,877 --> 00:16:10,446
- Stewie!
- Uh, no Stewie.
371
00:16:10,470 --> 00:16:12,006
- Stewie!
- No Stewie.
372
00:16:12,030 --> 00:16:14,192
Brian, is Stewie in there?
373
00:16:14,216 --> 00:16:16,602
- Stewie!
- No Stewie. Uh...
374
00:16:16,626 --> 00:16:19,289
His preschool teacher said
he took home the Flat Stanley
375
00:16:19,313 --> 00:16:20,981
this weekend,
and she needs it back.
376
00:16:21,005 --> 00:16:23,034
- Stewie!
- Open the door.
377
00:16:23,058 --> 00:16:24,869
Uh, no, no, no.
I'll-I'll... I'll find it.
378
00:16:24,893 --> 00:16:26,654
Stewie!
379
00:16:26,678 --> 00:16:27,988
- No Stewie.
- Hi, Brian.
380
00:16:28,012 --> 00:16:29,823
I got a trampoline.
381
00:16:29,847 --> 00:16:30,950
- Stewie!
- No Stewie.
382
00:16:30,974 --> 00:16:32,451
Fat guys go high.
383
00:16:32,475 --> 00:16:33,994
I don't know how to stop.
384
00:16:34,018 --> 00:16:36,121
- Let me in.
- Where's Stewie?
385
00:16:36,145 --> 00:16:37,164
- Stewie!
- No Stewie!
386
00:16:37,188 --> 00:16:38,958
Is this my forever?
387
00:16:38,982 --> 00:16:41,552
Everything is fine.
Just nobody come in or look in.
388
00:16:41,576 --> 00:16:43,295
Stewie was right. I am an idiot.
389
00:16:43,319 --> 00:16:45,890
I wish I could go back to before
this whole thing happened
390
00:16:45,914 --> 00:16:47,058
and tell him he's right.
391
00:16:47,082 --> 00:16:48,985
Wait, I can go back.
392
00:16:49,009 --> 00:16:50,508
Stewie's time machine.
393
00:16:51,828 --> 00:16:54,513
Oh, there he is.
Wish me luck, Flat Stanley.
394
00:16:57,425 --> 00:16:59,520
Or you could
just call me Stanley.
395
00:16:59,544 --> 00:17:01,497
Not make fun of my body.
396
00:17:11,014 --> 00:17:13,509
Oh, no. What did you do?
397
00:17:13,533 --> 00:17:15,869
A lot. You can't go
in this machine, Stewie.
398
00:17:15,893 --> 00:17:18,664
Removing those parts of your DNA
doesn't make you smarter.
399
00:17:18,688 --> 00:17:20,758
It just turns you
into a regular baby.
400
00:17:20,782 --> 00:17:22,927
That's impossible.
My science is correct.
401
00:17:22,951 --> 00:17:25,855
I know, but I may not have been
telling you the truth
402
00:17:25,879 --> 00:17:27,715
about Chris being a smart baby.
403
00:17:27,739 --> 00:17:29,216
But he solved a Rubik's Cube.
404
00:17:29,240 --> 00:17:30,240
I saw the video.
405
00:17:31,551 --> 00:17:33,604
I played it in reverse.
406
00:17:33,628 --> 00:17:35,055
He wasn't solving one.
407
00:17:35,079 --> 00:17:36,680
He was eating one.
408
00:17:37,924 --> 00:17:38,868
You're not gonna grow up
to be dumb.
409
00:17:38,892 --> 00:17:40,894
You're gonna grow up to be you.
410
00:17:40,918 --> 00:17:43,781
Who's way smarter than me.
411
00:17:43,805 --> 00:17:45,357
So you're saying that somehow,
412
00:17:45,381 --> 00:17:48,044
all my smooshed-together,
crappy Griffin DNA
413
00:17:48,068 --> 00:17:50,546
is actually what makes me smart?
414
00:17:50,570 --> 00:17:52,123
Yeah, I think so.
415
00:17:52,147 --> 00:17:53,549
I suppose it's possible.
416
00:17:53,573 --> 00:17:56,127
Well, I guess there's
only one thing left to do.
417
00:17:56,151 --> 00:17:58,245
- What's that?
- By traveling back here,
418
00:17:58,269 --> 00:17:59,964
you've created a new timeline.
419
00:17:59,988 --> 00:18:02,041
For everything
to revert back to normal,
420
00:18:02,065 --> 00:18:04,232
you have to drown your past self
in the toilet.
421
00:18:05,327 --> 00:18:06,777
Hey, Stewie.
422
00:18:12,075 --> 00:18:13,811
W-W-Wait, wait, wait,
no, no, sorry.
423
00:18:13,835 --> 00:18:15,146
- Sorry, I have it backwards.
- What?
424
00:18:15,170 --> 00:18:17,097
You're supposed to be drowning
your future self.
425
00:18:17,121 --> 00:18:18,932
You came back.
You're the new timeline.
426
00:18:18,956 --> 00:18:20,151
Oh, come on!
427
00:18:20,175 --> 00:18:22,843
Hey, I said I'm smart.
I'm not perfect.
428
00:18:25,680 --> 00:18:27,297
Do it. Just do it.
429
00:18:30,093 --> 00:18:32,986
Uh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yes.
Yes, this is right.
430
00:18:38,860 --> 00:18:39,953
Well, that was fun,
431
00:18:39,977 --> 00:18:41,264
but it didn't fill
the whole episode.
432
00:18:41,288 --> 00:18:43,674
So, in the Pixar tradition
of killing time,
433
00:18:43,698 --> 00:18:45,626
here's a Family Guy short.
434
00:18:45,650 --> 00:18:47,770
And don't worry,
it won't be that creepy one
435
00:18:47,794 --> 00:18:50,003
where the Chinese mother
eats her baby.
436
00:19:17,014 --> 00:19:18,974
What?
437
00:20:02,518 --> 00:20:04,561
Aah.
438
00:20:11,953 --> 00:20:14,196
All right.
31561
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