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CONAN: ♪ Sit and I'll
sing you some lore ♪
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♪ Of a prince and a peasant of yore ♪
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♪ Despite family name,
two friends they became ♪
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♪ Who knows what their fate
has in store? ♪
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♪ The meet at the castle each day ♪
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00:00:16,216 --> 00:00:19,384
♪ Together, they laugh, and they play ♪
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♪ They take lots of walks
and share lots of talks ♪
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♪ They're spending an excessive
amount of time together ♪
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00:00:26,059 --> 00:00:29,194
♪ But really, like, what's going on? ♪
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♪ He seems into her, but he's weird ♪
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♪ What's he doing there?
You see, with his hand? ♪
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♪ Yikes, this is so hard to watch ♪
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♪ She's also not helping things much ♪
14
00:00:42,466 --> 00:00:45,210
♪ Look how she's punching his arm ♪
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♪ Is she trying to flirt?
Oh, look, now he's hurt ♪
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00:00:48,582 --> 00:00:52,584
♪ She's punched him too hard in the arm ♪
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♪ And so that's the tale
of a star-crossed pair ♪
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♪ Or are they just two normal friends? ♪
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♪ Clarity would be nice
for everyone involved ♪
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♪ In terms of knowing how
to proceed with more verses ♪
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♪ In terms of knowing how to proceed... ♪
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Excuse me? Can you stop singing?
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I-I can hear you,
and it's really unnerving.
24
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I don't tell you how to do your job.
25
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Who is even paying you to do this?
26
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I'm independently wealthy.
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[SIGHS]
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♪ With more verses ♪
29
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♪ I've gone down that road again ♪
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♪ I've been there before ♪
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♪ Though want to know more ♪
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♪ It's always been ♪
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♪
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Synced & corrected by -robtor-
www.addic7ed.com
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[SWORD SLICES, CHICKEN CLUCKS]
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♪
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[LAUGHTER]
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I am so impressed you knew how to build
39
00:02:01,818 --> 00:02:04,719
one of these star-tracking devices.
40
00:02:04,755 --> 00:02:05,887
What is it called again?
41
00:02:05,922 --> 00:02:07,956
- It's an astrolabe.
- Thank you.
42
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It's been really fun working
on this with you.
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♪
44
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Well, um, seeing as we're on the topic
45
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of space and time, um,
46
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I was wondering if you had
any plans this Saturday.
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Oh, uh, no.
48
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I'm not doing anything. Why?
49
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Um, well... [CLEARS THROAT]
50
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I saw this, actually.
51
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An astronomer's giving a lecture
right here in Lower Murkford!
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[CHUCKLING] Whoa!
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Um, I wondered if you'd like to go.
54
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- Yeah, I'd love to.
- Great!
55
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Well, then I shall plan
to pick you at your place
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for our...
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Saturday hanging-out
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session.
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- Awesome.
- Yeah.
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- We'll see you then.
- Yeah!
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- Oh.
- Yeah.
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- Gotcha.
- [BOTH LAUGH NERVOUSLY]
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- Bye.
- Bye.
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- [FOOTSTEPS FADE]
- Oh, buddy.
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[DOOR CLOSES]
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Lord Vexler?
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Do you have an opinion on something?
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00:03:02,312 --> 00:03:05,113
Oh, I'd just be careful if I were you.
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You know, matters of the heart
can get complicated.
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[SCOFFS] Oh, Vexler.
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I'm no stranger to matters of the heart.
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I was engaged before, remember?
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To Princess Isabella.
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That was only because
your fathers were trying
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to form a political alliance.
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And you were both babies.
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♪
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Still, I would have wed her happily
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had she not been carried off
by that hawk.
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[BIRD SHRIEK]
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All I'm saying is,
don't get too invested.
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Relationships between peasants
and princes never work.
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You're from completely different worlds.
84
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Who cares about that nonsense?
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No, we get along, we have fun together,
86
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and we're about to go
on a wonderful first date.
87
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Oh, i-is it a date?
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Of course it is.
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[SIGHING] Ah. Does she know that?
90
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Did you say it explicitly?
91
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I thought it was implied.
92
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[SLURPS]
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Mm-hmm.
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♪
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00:04:03,607 --> 00:04:05,340
I said, "Look, Farmer Greg,
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you can tell me that's a potato
until the cows come home,
97
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but my cryin' eyes says it's an onion."
98
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[LAUGHTER]
99
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He honored the coupon after that.
100
00:04:14,117 --> 00:04:17,452
Look. Oh, shh, shh, shh!
6:00... Time for the news.
101
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Oh.
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- [NEW JINGLE PLAYS]
- Hello,
103
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and thank you for tuning in to Mad Jane,
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00:04:24,294 --> 00:04:26,628
your most watched and trusted source
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for the news of the day.
106
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- Can we turn it up a bit?
- Uh, sure.
107
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Uh, speak louder.
108
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The crisis on the border continues!
109
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A caravan of Druids has been spotted
110
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crossing into Lower Murkford...
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the Druids depicted here.
112
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[PEOPLE MURMUR, GROAN]
113
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Hey, how many Druids does it
take to screw in a wall torch?
114
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- How many?
- 10.
115
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One to screw it in,
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the rest to rob your house
while it's dark.
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[LAUGHTER]
118
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One to screw it in...
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[LAUGHS] Oh. That's rich.
120
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Pbht! Nuts!
121
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Need a hand?
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♪
123
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Yeah.
124
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Okay.
125
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Thanks.
126
00:05:17,714 --> 00:05:20,515
Ah, I don't believe we've met before.
127
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- I'm Eddie.
- I'm Lila.
128
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I just moved here.
129
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Oh, well, welcome to the neighborhood.
130
00:05:25,722 --> 00:05:27,032
Thanks.
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I'll be right here if you need
more roadside assistance.
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[LAUGHS]
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That's rich.
134
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Hey, Lila,
if you ever want to grab a beer,
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me and my buddies are usually
hanging out at the tavern.
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Stop on by.
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00:05:40,971 --> 00:05:42,437
We're a friendly bunch.
138
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I would love to.
139
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Thanks, Eddie.
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♪
141
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[DOOR OPENS]
142
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[CHUCKLES]
143
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Well, all right, then.
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[WIND WHISTLING]
145
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♪ Druid-aaa ♪
146
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♪ Druid-ohhh ♪
147
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Looking forward to that beer, Eddie.
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00:06:07,964 --> 00:06:09,831
Thanks again for the invite.
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00:06:09,866 --> 00:06:12,000
[BELLS TOLL]
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00:06:12,035 --> 00:06:14,191
AL: Psst! Maggie.
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00:06:15,525 --> 00:06:16,838
How do I look?
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Like you're going on a date.
153
00:06:18,074 --> 00:06:19,874
It's not necessarily a date.
154
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Shouldn't you already know that
by this point?
155
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Chauncley's hard to read.
156
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I can never tell if he's
sweating because he likes me
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or because his royally inbred body
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can't regulate his temperature.
159
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Well, do you want it to be a date?
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I'm open to the possibility.
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Ugh. I'm sick of this already.
162
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Thanks again for inviting me.
163
00:06:37,994 --> 00:06:39,827
- This will be fun.
- Oh, I'm excited.
164
00:06:39,863 --> 00:06:42,177
Yeah, you and me finally
going out on a...
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scientific lecture.
166
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Um, two please.
167
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Well, it's your lucky day,
'cause we're having
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a lover's special.
169
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Uh, wh-what's that?
170
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Admission is three coins for couples
171
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or two apiece for singles.
172
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Oh, um, right.
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Well, l-let's see.
174
00:07:00,183 --> 00:07:01,349
Um...
175
00:07:01,384 --> 00:07:02,951
So what'll it be?
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One lover's special
177
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or two singles?
178
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Is... Is there a third option?
179
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No.
180
00:07:10,860 --> 00:07:12,794
Um, well, uh...
181
00:07:12,829 --> 00:07:14,459
Um...
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Two singles, please.
183
00:07:17,734 --> 00:07:20,635
♪
184
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Hey, thanks for paying.
I'll grab the next one.
185
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Ah, no... no problem.
186
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Thank you.
187
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♪
188
00:07:30,113 --> 00:07:32,680
So, here we are.
189
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The big talk.
190
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Something tells me it's going to be
191
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out of this world.
192
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Get it?
193
00:07:40,724 --> 00:07:42,256
Out of this world?
194
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Because the nature of the talk
is astronomical
195
00:07:45,195 --> 00:07:47,495
or out of this world,
as it were? [CHUCKLES]
196
00:07:47,530 --> 00:07:48,997
Oh. [LAUGHS]
197
00:07:49,032 --> 00:07:50,365
- Nice.
- Mm.
198
00:07:50,400 --> 00:07:51,399
Thanks.
199
00:07:51,434 --> 00:07:53,540
- Hi, everyone.
- [CROWD MURMURS]
200
00:07:53,575 --> 00:07:54,635
Who's that?
201
00:07:54,671 --> 00:07:55,970
I'm Archie Cosmos.
202
00:07:56,006 --> 00:07:57,405
Wait. Are we in the right room?
203
00:07:57,440 --> 00:07:59,841
Now, I know that science
can feel pretty technical,
204
00:07:59,876 --> 00:08:01,809
but I'm gonna try and keep things fun.
205
00:08:01,845 --> 00:08:03,244
And who knows?
206
00:08:03,279 --> 00:08:06,447
My talk might even be out of this world.
207
00:08:06,483 --> 00:08:08,850
[LAUGHS]
208
00:08:08,885 --> 00:08:10,918
♪
209
00:08:12,406 --> 00:08:17,045
And so, in conclusion,
that is why stars twinkle.
210
00:08:17,080 --> 00:08:19,246
- I've always wondered about that.
- Hmm.
211
00:08:19,282 --> 00:08:21,148
Okay, any questions?
212
00:08:21,184 --> 00:08:22,683
- Yes.
- Yes. Hi.
213
00:08:22,719 --> 00:08:25,286
Um, why don't you look like your picture?
214
00:08:25,321 --> 00:08:27,308
[CHUCKLES] I get that a lot.
215
00:08:27,343 --> 00:08:30,991
It was actually painted
by the blind artist of Gabagool.
216
00:08:31,027 --> 00:08:33,294
Eh, it's a terrible likeness.
217
00:08:33,329 --> 00:08:35,096
Yeah, but the artist was blind,
218
00:08:35,131 --> 00:08:37,164
- so it's pretty good, considering.
- Aw, I don't think so.
219
00:08:37,200 --> 00:08:40,101
All right. Thank you, everyone,
so much for your time.
220
00:08:40,136 --> 00:08:41,102
Thank you.
221
00:08:41,137 --> 00:08:43,704
May the North Star guide you always.
222
00:08:43,740 --> 00:08:45,539
- [APPLAUSE]
- Right.
223
00:08:45,575 --> 00:08:46,924
So, shall we get going?
224
00:08:46,960 --> 00:08:48,251
Are you kidding?
225
00:08:48,286 --> 00:08:49,410
When else are we gonna get a chance
226
00:08:49,445 --> 00:08:50,711
to talk to an astronomer?
227
00:08:50,747 --> 00:08:53,514
- Let's go.
- Mm.
228
00:08:53,549 --> 00:08:54,915
Thank you.
229
00:08:54,951 --> 00:08:56,217
Hi. We just wanted to say that
230
00:08:56,252 --> 00:08:57,985
- we really enjoyed your talk...
- Mm.
231
00:08:58,020 --> 00:09:00,688
...especially what you said
about celestial rotation.
232
00:09:00,723 --> 00:09:02,957
It's a controversial opinion,
but I've always believed
233
00:09:02,992 --> 00:09:04,358
that the Earth revolves around the...
234
00:09:04,393 --> 00:09:05,493
Sun.
235
00:09:05,528 --> 00:09:07,228
Yes, exactly.
236
00:09:07,263 --> 00:09:09,240
Well, I'm glad I'm not the only one.
237
00:09:10,299 --> 00:09:12,133
And the moon.
238
00:09:12,168 --> 00:09:14,068
It's also up there.
239
00:09:15,972 --> 00:09:17,505
Y-Yeah, that's... that's so true.
240
00:09:17,540 --> 00:09:19,640
Good call, man. It's up there, for sure.
241
00:09:19,675 --> 00:09:21,275
Uh, this is really embarrassing,
242
00:09:21,310 --> 00:09:24,111
but would you mind signing our astrolabe?
243
00:09:24,147 --> 00:09:25,679
Uh, y-yeah.
244
00:09:26,049 --> 00:09:28,115
Wow. That is a beaut.
245
00:09:28,151 --> 00:09:30,484
- Who should I make it out to?
- Al and Chauncley.
246
00:09:30,520 --> 00:09:31,919
Yes, we've been building it together.
247
00:09:31,954 --> 00:09:34,088
You know, if you want
to test that thing out,
248
00:09:34,124 --> 00:09:35,489
my calculations tell me
249
00:09:35,525 --> 00:09:38,092
that Laslo's Comet will be
passing Lower Murkford tonight.
250
00:09:38,127 --> 00:09:39,994
I've scoped out this great
vantage point at the top
251
00:09:40,029 --> 00:09:43,130
of Chicken Neck Hill
if, um, you and your...
252
00:09:43,166 --> 00:09:44,799
- husband want to join.
- [LAUGHS] Oho!
253
00:09:44,834 --> 00:09:46,033
- We're not married.
- We are not wed.
254
00:09:46,068 --> 00:09:48,488
- We're friends.
- We are unwedded friends.
255
00:09:49,739 --> 00:09:52,807
Well, you're welcome to join
as, um, friends.
256
00:09:52,842 --> 00:09:55,075
- That'd be great.
- Yes, I'd love that.
257
00:09:55,111 --> 00:09:56,950
Al and Chauncley.
258
00:09:56,986 --> 00:09:58,412
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
259
00:09:58,447 --> 00:10:00,147
- Yeah.
- Ooh!
260
00:10:00,183 --> 00:10:01,715
[LAUGHTER]
261
00:10:01,751 --> 00:10:03,450
I've got one.
262
00:10:03,486 --> 00:10:05,586
What's gray and furry
263
00:10:05,621 --> 00:10:08,155
and looks good on a Druid's neck?
264
00:10:08,191 --> 00:10:09,123
What?
265
00:10:09,158 --> 00:10:10,758
A hungry wolf!
266
00:10:10,793 --> 00:10:14,195
Because it is eating the Druid.
267
00:10:14,230 --> 00:10:17,865
[LAUGHTER]
268
00:10:17,900 --> 00:10:21,001
Yeah, um... but they're not all bad.
269
00:10:23,506 --> 00:10:24,738
Some...
270
00:10:24,774 --> 00:10:26,507
are even good, maybe.
271
00:10:26,542 --> 00:10:29,109
What's up with you today?
272
00:10:29,145 --> 00:10:31,846
Nothing. Just forget it.
273
00:10:32,240 --> 00:10:34,281
Speak of the devil.
274
00:10:34,317 --> 00:10:36,350
[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS]
275
00:10:36,385 --> 00:10:38,819
[LAUGHTER]
276
00:10:38,855 --> 00:10:40,654
[ALL CHUCKLING]
277
00:10:40,690 --> 00:10:41,989
[STAFF THUDS]
278
00:10:42,024 --> 00:10:44,124
You have something you want to say to me?
279
00:10:44,160 --> 00:10:45,125
Relax.
280
00:10:45,161 --> 00:10:49,296
We're just having fun, right, Eddie?
281
00:10:49,332 --> 00:10:51,198
♪
282
00:10:51,234 --> 00:10:53,534
[CLEARS THROAT]
283
00:10:53,569 --> 00:10:55,138
Huh.
284
00:10:57,373 --> 00:10:59,673
[LAUGHTER]
285
00:10:59,709 --> 00:11:04,044
MAN: Well-played, everyone. Right, Eddie?
286
00:11:04,080 --> 00:11:06,780
So, as an explorer,
do you get to travel a lot?
287
00:11:06,816 --> 00:11:08,182
My work takes me to the four corners
288
00:11:08,217 --> 00:11:09,917
of the world pretty regularly.
289
00:11:09,952 --> 00:11:13,120
Oh, uh, yeah, I'm a bit
of a world traveler myself.
290
00:11:13,155 --> 00:11:15,055
A rolling stone, if you will.
291
00:11:15,091 --> 00:11:17,191
Going wherever the good wind takes me.
292
00:11:17,226 --> 00:11:18,259
Oh, nice.
293
00:11:18,294 --> 00:11:20,172
I'm always looking for travel "recs."
294
00:11:20,208 --> 00:11:21,328
What's your favorite spot?
295
00:11:21,364 --> 00:11:23,097
Oh, just this place called
Pretty Little Princess
296
00:11:23,132 --> 00:11:25,232
Mandrake Beach Resort... Do you know it?
297
00:11:25,268 --> 00:11:26,634
I'm pretty friendly
with the concierge there.
298
00:11:26,669 --> 00:11:28,102
I could probably get you a "rez."
299
00:11:28,137 --> 00:11:31,438
Oh, thanks. It's not really my style.
300
00:11:31,474 --> 00:11:33,207
I sort of prefer to rough it.
301
00:11:33,242 --> 00:11:34,675
You ever traveled, Al?
302
00:11:34,710 --> 00:11:36,608
Nah, my family's all shit shovelers,
303
00:11:36,643 --> 00:11:39,580
so vacations always seemed
kind of out of reach.
304
00:11:39,615 --> 00:11:41,248
I totally get it.
305
00:11:41,284 --> 00:11:43,284
I'm from a lower-income
background myself.
306
00:11:43,319 --> 00:11:44,952
My parents are puke-moppers by trade.
307
00:11:44,987 --> 00:11:46,666
- No way!
- Yeah.
308
00:11:46,702 --> 00:11:49,189
One day, I just decided to
take control of my own destiny,
309
00:11:49,225 --> 00:11:51,725
set off into the world,
consequences be damned.
310
00:11:51,761 --> 00:11:53,961
I even changed my name
from Archibald Pukemopper
311
00:11:53,996 --> 00:11:55,996
to Archibald Cosmos
312
00:11:56,032 --> 00:11:58,132
'cause that's how far I dare to dream.
313
00:11:58,167 --> 00:11:59,099
Wow.
314
00:11:59,135 --> 00:12:00,238
Yeah.
315
00:12:00,273 --> 00:12:03,103
♪
316
00:12:05,708 --> 00:12:07,794
This is an eagle feather.
317
00:12:08,344 --> 00:12:10,344
I wear it as a reminder to fly free
318
00:12:10,379 --> 00:12:12,423
until I find my destiny.
319
00:12:13,082 --> 00:12:14,415
Take it.
320
00:12:14,450 --> 00:12:16,136
Till you find your own.
321
00:12:17,453 --> 00:12:18,886
Thank you.
322
00:12:18,921 --> 00:12:21,655
[BIRD SHRIEK]
323
00:12:21,691 --> 00:12:24,191
♪
324
00:12:24,226 --> 00:12:26,260
And here... is...
325
00:12:26,295 --> 00:12:28,356
some money.
326
00:12:29,665 --> 00:12:31,025
Take it.
327
00:12:31,500 --> 00:12:33,434
Till you find your own.
328
00:12:35,190 --> 00:12:37,115
This makes me feel weird.
329
00:12:41,777 --> 00:12:42,876
Oh.
330
00:12:42,912 --> 00:12:44,345
What do you want?
331
00:12:44,380 --> 00:12:46,347
Wanted to bring you
a little housewarming gift.
332
00:12:46,382 --> 00:12:48,782
These are fresh rock sprouts
from my garden.
333
00:12:48,818 --> 00:12:50,317
If this is your way of trying to make up
334
00:12:50,353 --> 00:12:52,786
for what happened at the tavern,
it's not gonna work.
335
00:12:52,822 --> 00:12:54,621
Are you talking about my friends?
336
00:12:54,657 --> 00:12:58,025
Those knuckleheads.
They're just joking around.
337
00:12:58,060 --> 00:12:59,960
They're nice folks
once you get to know them.
338
00:12:59,996 --> 00:13:01,695
They seem like a bunch of jerks to me,
339
00:13:01,731 --> 00:13:05,393
and if you hang out with them,
then you seem like one, too.
340
00:13:06,802 --> 00:13:08,235
Okay, word of advice.
341
00:13:08,270 --> 00:13:10,904
You can make things a lot easier
on yourself here in town
342
00:13:10,940 --> 00:13:13,273
if you just left the whole
Druid getup at home.
343
00:13:13,309 --> 00:13:15,142
I mean, I don't mind it, but, uh...
344
00:13:15,177 --> 00:13:18,345
it does draw a bit of attention,
you know?
345
00:13:19,648 --> 00:13:21,015
Go [BLEEP] yourself.
346
00:13:23,285 --> 00:13:25,719
I've never seen stars like this before.
347
00:13:25,755 --> 00:13:27,321
It's pretty amazing, huh?
348
00:13:27,874 --> 00:13:30,290
It reminds me of how small we are,
349
00:13:30,326 --> 00:13:32,359
how fleeting life is.
350
00:13:32,395 --> 00:13:33,794
That's why we need to take advantage
351
00:13:33,829 --> 00:13:35,562
of every moment we have.
352
00:13:35,598 --> 00:13:38,032
- That's so true.
- Yeah.
353
00:13:38,067 --> 00:13:40,200
[SIGHING] You know,
it's getting rather chilly.
354
00:13:40,236 --> 00:13:42,536
Perhaps we should head back soon, eh?
355
00:13:42,571 --> 00:13:44,772
We can catch the comet
the next time it swings by.
356
00:13:44,807 --> 00:13:46,522
It's not for another 87 years.
357
00:13:46,558 --> 00:13:47,741
Oh, well, yes, but we haven't had
358
00:13:47,777 --> 00:13:49,176
our second supper or our snackies.
359
00:13:49,211 --> 00:13:51,231
No sweat. I've got us covered.
360
00:13:52,148 --> 00:13:54,615
- Voilà!
- AL: Whoa! Nice!
361
00:13:54,650 --> 00:13:56,016
Smells so good.
362
00:13:56,052 --> 00:13:58,899
- It's a gift from a trader in Verona.
- Wow.
363
00:13:58,934 --> 00:14:01,121
So, is this
a cut-your-own-meat situation?
364
00:14:01,157 --> 00:14:03,123
Oh, uh... I'll get that for you.
365
00:14:03,159 --> 00:14:05,859
Oh, no, no, no. I am a man of the world.
366
00:14:05,895 --> 00:14:08,362
I think I can handle this, thank you.
367
00:14:08,397 --> 00:14:09,696
Cheers.
368
00:14:09,732 --> 00:14:11,765
♪
369
00:14:11,801 --> 00:14:13,200
[CHAUNCLEY GRUNTING]
370
00:14:13,235 --> 00:14:14,435
[COUGHING]
371
00:14:14,470 --> 00:14:15,736
[INHALES SHARPLY]
372
00:14:15,771 --> 00:14:17,337
- Oh, my God, he's choking.
- Not to worry.
373
00:14:17,373 --> 00:14:20,007
I learned this trick
from the Healing Monks of Meru.
374
00:14:20,042 --> 00:14:23,610
- [WHEEZING]
- [GRUNTS]
375
00:14:24,222 --> 00:14:27,481
[CHAUNCLEY CHOKING]
376
00:14:30,653 --> 00:14:32,319
- [COUGHS]
- Ah, thank God!
377
00:14:32,354 --> 00:14:33,954
- Chauncley, are you okay?
- Oh, yes.
378
00:14:33,989 --> 00:14:35,322
Yes, I'm fine.
I'll just be back in a moment.
379
00:14:35,357 --> 00:14:36,990
I seem to have done a little pee-pee.
380
00:14:37,026 --> 00:14:38,325
Uh, do you want me to come with you?
381
00:14:38,360 --> 00:14:40,794
No, no! I just need a... a moment alone.
382
00:14:42,532 --> 00:14:43,741
Okay.
383
00:14:44,600 --> 00:14:45,766
[SIGHS]
384
00:14:45,801 --> 00:14:47,801
It's fine. You're fine.
385
00:14:47,837 --> 00:14:49,136
Everything's fine.
386
00:14:49,171 --> 00:14:50,737
♪ You like her, and she likes you ♪
387
00:14:50,773 --> 00:14:54,108
♪ Doodely-doodely-doodely-doo ♪
There you are.
388
00:14:54,143 --> 00:14:57,411
You've song a little song.
Now you feel better.
389
00:14:57,446 --> 00:14:59,313
[SIGHS]
390
00:14:59,348 --> 00:15:10,424
♪
391
00:15:12,448 --> 00:15:13,847
[LAUGHTER]
392
00:15:14,249 --> 00:15:18,476
MAN: I was not expecting
another anti-Druid punch line.
393
00:15:18,501 --> 00:15:20,368
- WOMAN: I know.
- Oh, come on!
394
00:15:20,403 --> 00:15:22,737
I'm starting to get real sick
of these jokes.
395
00:15:22,772 --> 00:15:23,938
Chill out, Eddie!
396
00:15:23,973 --> 00:15:26,207
No, you chill out!
397
00:15:26,242 --> 00:15:27,441
I have a joke for you.
398
00:15:27,477 --> 00:15:29,043
How many of "you guys" does it take
399
00:15:29,078 --> 00:15:30,478
to screw in a wall torch?
400
00:15:30,513 --> 00:15:32,079
What? 10.
401
00:15:32,115 --> 00:15:33,576
One to screw it in
402
00:15:33,611 --> 00:15:36,417
and the rest to be a bunch of jerks.
403
00:15:36,452 --> 00:15:38,452
[CROWD MURMURING]
404
00:15:38,488 --> 00:15:42,490
I don't like it when that joke
is directed at us.
405
00:15:47,764 --> 00:15:48,763
Ohh! Again?
406
00:15:48,798 --> 00:15:50,464
Uh, sorry.
407
00:15:50,500 --> 00:15:52,934
They wouldn't let me in
at the gate for some reason.
408
00:15:52,969 --> 00:15:54,168
Oh. Strange.
409
00:15:54,204 --> 00:15:56,103
You must've been removed from the list.
410
00:15:56,139 --> 00:15:57,772
What happened to you last night?
411
00:15:57,807 --> 00:16:00,408
You just disappeared.
I was really worried.
412
00:16:00,443 --> 00:16:02,443
Not that worried, apparently.
413
00:16:02,478 --> 00:16:04,435
- Is this about Archie?
- What?
414
00:16:04,471 --> 00:16:06,214
No. Absolutely not.
It has nothing to do with him.
415
00:16:06,249 --> 00:16:07,615
I'd already forgotten about him.
416
00:16:07,832 --> 00:16:09,665
Okay, well,
then why are you being so weird?
417
00:16:09,701 --> 00:16:12,101
I'm not being weird.
I'm j... I'm being realistic.
418
00:16:12,137 --> 00:16:14,582
And maybe we weren't meant to be friends.
419
00:16:15,407 --> 00:16:16,839
What are you talking about?
420
00:16:16,875 --> 00:16:19,776
I am the crown prince. You are a peasant.
421
00:16:19,811 --> 00:16:21,477
We're from two completely
different worlds.
422
00:16:21,513 --> 00:16:23,479
That's a really childish point of view.
423
00:16:23,515 --> 00:16:25,047
It's not childish!
424
00:16:25,083 --> 00:16:27,617
And, furthermore, I'm good,
and you're bad.
425
00:16:27,652 --> 00:16:29,652
I'm pretty, and you're ugly.
426
00:16:29,687 --> 00:16:31,354
I'm clean, and you stink.
427
00:16:31,389 --> 00:16:32,655
Ugh! Yuck! Pee-yew!
428
00:16:32,690 --> 00:16:35,091
[WINDOW SLAMS]
429
00:16:35,126 --> 00:16:40,096
♪
430
00:16:40,131 --> 00:16:41,364
Hey, Eddie.
431
00:16:41,399 --> 00:16:43,933
Thanks for sticking up for me
at the tavern last night.
432
00:16:43,968 --> 00:16:45,435
How'd you know I did that?
433
00:16:45,470 --> 00:16:46,969
I used my Druid magic.
434
00:16:47,005 --> 00:16:48,971
Ah, you Druids are something else.
435
00:16:49,007 --> 00:16:51,641
I'm joking, you dummy.
I'm friends with the bartender.
436
00:16:51,676 --> 00:16:53,109
[LAUGHS] Oh. That's rich!
437
00:16:53,144 --> 00:16:56,078
Come on. Let's go grab a beer.
438
00:16:56,114 --> 00:16:58,481
EDDIE: Guys, this is my friend, Lila.
439
00:16:58,516 --> 00:16:59,449
- Hey.
- Oh, hi.
440
00:16:59,484 --> 00:17:00,753
Hi.
441
00:17:00,778 --> 00:17:03,979
♪
442
00:17:06,157 --> 00:17:08,691
So, do Druids, like, eat babies?
443
00:17:09,053 --> 00:17:10,593
Gladys, come on.
444
00:17:10,628 --> 00:17:14,297
We do not eat babies,
and that's offensive.
445
00:17:14,332 --> 00:17:15,631
Sorry.
446
00:17:15,667 --> 00:17:17,099
I love your hair.
447
00:17:17,135 --> 00:17:18,855
Can I touch it?
448
00:17:19,163 --> 00:17:21,197
What? I can't say that?
449
00:17:21,222 --> 00:17:23,216
- I'm just interested.
- Sorry.
450
00:17:23,241 --> 00:17:26,909
This is gonna take us some time
to figure out.
451
00:17:26,945 --> 00:17:30,546
This just in.
An update on the Druid invasion.
452
00:17:30,582 --> 00:17:32,014
Uh, uh, Mad Jane, can...
453
00:17:32,050 --> 00:17:33,649
can you switch to something else?
454
00:17:33,685 --> 00:17:35,218
- Right?
- [ALL MURMURING]
455
00:17:35,253 --> 00:17:38,788
Welcome to the Mad Jane
Home Shopping Hour.
456
00:17:38,823 --> 00:17:41,624
Thank you. For three easy payments,
457
00:17:41,659 --> 00:17:44,927
you can own this necklace
of my baby teeth.
458
00:17:44,963 --> 00:17:46,162
- Ooh! Ooh!
- Fine!
459
00:17:46,197 --> 00:17:49,131
- I like that, yeah.
- Ooh, Daddy like.
460
00:17:49,167 --> 00:17:51,179
[LAUGHTER]
461
00:17:52,504 --> 00:17:54,403
ARCHIE: That flickering orb's Venus.
462
00:17:54,439 --> 00:17:56,239
You can tell 'cause
it's the brightest object
463
00:17:56,274 --> 00:17:57,874
in the sky.
464
00:18:05,250 --> 00:18:09,652
♪
465
00:18:09,687 --> 00:18:11,587
No. Away from the castle.
466
00:18:11,623 --> 00:18:14,023
- Ah, you see?
- Right.
467
00:18:14,058 --> 00:18:16,759
♪
468
00:18:16,794 --> 00:18:18,000
Looks cool.
469
00:18:18,035 --> 00:18:20,096
Mm-hmm.
470
00:18:20,131 --> 00:18:23,132
♪
471
00:18:29,465 --> 00:18:32,199
[FIRE CRACKLING]
472
00:18:32,234 --> 00:18:33,934
♪
473
00:18:33,969 --> 00:18:35,335
[SIGHS]
474
00:18:35,371 --> 00:18:37,771
Damn it.
475
00:18:37,806 --> 00:18:40,807
♪ The prince finally had his shot ♪
476
00:18:40,843 --> 00:18:43,911
♪ But he handled things totally wrong ♪
477
00:18:43,946 --> 00:18:47,281
♪ He messed up all week
in a number of ways ♪
478
00:18:47,316 --> 00:18:49,917
♪ And now I will list them in song ♪
479
00:18:49,952 --> 00:18:51,485
CHAUNCLEY: That's really not necessary.
480
00:18:51,520 --> 00:18:54,321
♪ First, there was that thing
with the lecture ♪
481
00:18:54,356 --> 00:18:57,357
♪ That should have been a home run ♪
482
00:18:57,393 --> 00:19:00,861
♪ It would have been great
if he called it a date ♪
483
00:19:00,896 --> 00:19:03,754
♪ Man, did he [BLEEP] that one up ♪
484
00:19:03,779 --> 00:19:04,944
There wasn't even a rhyme there!
485
00:19:04,980 --> 00:19:07,334
♪ Another thing that he [BLEEP] up ♪
486
00:19:07,369 --> 00:19:10,537
♪ Was the basic act of trying to chew ♪
487
00:19:10,572 --> 00:19:14,041
♪ He choked on some meat
and turned white as a sheet ♪
488
00:19:14,076 --> 00:19:17,744
♪ It's impossible
to bounce back from that ♪
489
00:19:17,780 --> 00:19:20,380
[CHAUNCLEY CHOKING]
490
00:19:20,416 --> 00:19:22,349
- Are you finished?
- ...Almost
491
00:19:28,524 --> 00:19:32,307
♪ And so that's the tale
of the star-crossed pair ♪
492
00:19:32,342 --> 00:19:34,962
♪ The moral is that the prince sucks ♪
493
00:19:34,997 --> 00:19:38,165
♪ Now Al is in love
with a much cooler dude ♪
494
00:19:38,200 --> 00:19:41,635
♪ And Prince Chauncley's
alone with his ducks ♪
495
00:19:41,670 --> 00:19:43,003
[DUCKS QUACK]
496
00:19:43,038 --> 00:19:44,771
CHAUNCLEY: Don't encourage him, guys.
497
00:19:44,807 --> 00:19:47,307
[SIGHS] Traitors.
34090
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