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1
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CHOIR: ? Ah ?
2
00:00:03,978 --> 00:00:08,681
? Men ?
3
00:00:08,706 --> 00:00:09,859
Wow.
4
00:00:09,914 --> 00:00:11,269
Here it comes.
5
00:00:11,294 --> 00:00:14,046
"Wow, glad my wife is dead so
she didn't have to hear that."
6
00:00:14,071 --> 00:00:15,102
Actually, I was about to say,
7
00:00:15,126 --> 00:00:18,009
"Wow, you have never sounded better."
8
00:00:18,034 --> 00:00:21,054
Which is still a low bar.
I'm sorry, I can't help myself.
9
00:00:21,079 --> 00:00:22,992
So do you think we're
ready for regionals?
10
00:00:23,017 --> 00:00:24,949
Absolutely,
I think we have a shot at winning.
11
00:00:24,974 --> 00:00:26,156
- [CHEERING]
- There we go.
12
00:00:26,181 --> 00:00:28,179
Speaking of regionals, I have good news:
13
00:00:28,204 --> 00:00:30,872
I spoke to the pastor at our
sister church in Lexington,
14
00:00:30,897 --> 00:00:33,364
and she said we could sleep
on their sanctuary floor.
15
00:00:33,367 --> 00:00:35,170
- Are you serious?
- I know, right?!
16
00:00:35,195 --> 00:00:37,351
It'll be like camping in God's tent.
17
00:00:37,376 --> 00:00:39,476
No, sleeping in a drafty church
18
00:00:39,501 --> 00:00:40,833
the night before a performance
19
00:00:40,858 --> 00:00:42,718
would be terrible for your voices.
20
00:00:42,743 --> 00:00:45,734
We can think of the draft
as God blowing us a kiss.
21
00:00:45,759 --> 00:00:47,257
I'm not sleeping on the floor.
22
00:00:47,282 --> 00:00:48,351
What am I? A dog?
23
00:00:48,376 --> 00:00:50,365
- Or a Wayne?
- None taken.
24
00:00:50,390 --> 00:00:52,203
We don't have enough money for a hotel.
25
00:00:52,228 --> 00:00:53,629
Normally, I would offer to pay,
26
00:00:53,654 --> 00:00:55,242
but I'm "Leveraged to the Max."
27
00:00:55,267 --> 00:00:56,734
Which, by the way, is the name
28
00:00:56,759 --> 00:00:59,585
of the expensive racehorse
I invested all my money in.
29
00:00:59,610 --> 00:01:01,007
What if we raised the money?
30
00:01:01,032 --> 00:01:03,570
I mean, we raise the roof all the time.
31
00:01:03,595 --> 00:01:05,343
What-what? [LAUGHS]
32
00:01:06,335 --> 00:01:08,304
Or we could just have a bake sale.
33
00:01:08,329 --> 00:01:11,179
- Or a car wash.
- Or we make up a guy,
34
00:01:11,204 --> 00:01:13,593
take out a credit card in his name,
max it out,
35
00:01:13,618 --> 00:01:15,117
then write his obituary.
36
00:01:15,142 --> 00:01:19,195
I'm thinking about calling him
"Zachary P. Whisperbone."
37
00:01:19,220 --> 00:01:22,070
No, we're musicians.
It needs to be music-related.
38
00:01:22,095 --> 00:01:24,693
[GASPS] You said "we."
39
00:01:24,718 --> 00:01:26,796
[LAUGHS] You feel like you belong.
40
00:01:26,821 --> 00:01:28,831
We are an "us."
41
00:01:28,856 --> 00:01:31,890
Calm down, it's just a pronoun.
It's not a promise ring.
42
00:01:31,892 --> 00:01:34,850
Anyway I was reading
this church choir blog
43
00:01:34,890 --> 00:01:37,107
about raising money
through a Hymn-A-Thon.
44
00:01:37,132 --> 00:01:39,508
People pledge money for us to sing.
45
00:01:39,533 --> 00:01:41,199
[GASPS]
46
00:01:41,201 --> 00:01:42,624
- "Us."
- Walk away.
47
00:01:42,649 --> 00:01:44,149
"Church choir blog."
48
00:01:44,174 --> 00:01:46,709
Yeah, they have some really
good ideas about choirs,
49
00:01:46,734 --> 00:01:48,546
and terrible ideas
about everything else.
50
00:01:48,571 --> 00:01:51,584
Dibs on anything
Beyonce, Madonna, Lizzo.
51
00:01:51,609 --> 00:01:55,226
It's Rizzo, and no, we're not
doing anything from "Grease."
52
00:01:55,251 --> 00:01:56,551
Traditional choir music only.
53
00:01:56,576 --> 00:01:58,442
A Hymn-A-Thon! I love it!
54
00:01:58,467 --> 00:02:00,388
All in favor sing "I!"
55
00:02:00,749 --> 00:02:03,221
- ? I ?
- ? I ?
56
00:02:03,223 --> 00:02:05,090
CHOIR: ? I ?
57
00:02:05,092 --> 00:02:07,890
? I! ?
58
00:02:08,548 --> 00:02:10,943
I just wanted to show off my range.
59
00:02:10,968 --> 00:02:13,443
I think a Hymn-A-Thon is dumb as hell.
60
00:02:13,468 --> 00:02:14,800
??
61
00:02:15,050 --> 00:02:17,585
Synced & corrected by QueenMaddie
www.addic7ed.com
62
00:02:23,359 --> 00:02:27,224
I'm so sorry to hear
about Buster's passing.
63
00:02:27,249 --> 00:02:30,545
21 is too young for a cat to die.
64
00:02:30,570 --> 00:02:34,352
Our choir would love to
sing a hymn in his honor
65
00:02:34,354 --> 00:02:38,201
for the low, low cost of $5.
66
00:02:38,226 --> 00:02:41,171
For $10, we can make it really special.
67
00:02:41,196 --> 00:02:43,439
- [SIGHS]
- Can I help you?
68
00:02:43,464 --> 00:02:45,096
A friend of mine lives nearby,
69
00:02:45,098 --> 00:02:47,273
and I seem to have
gotten a little bit lost.
70
00:02:47,298 --> 00:02:50,570
Yeah, you don't look like
you live this far from I-75.
71
00:02:50,595 --> 00:02:52,023
What gave me away? The hat,
72
00:02:52,048 --> 00:02:54,615
the keen sense of intelligence
that permeates every sentence,
73
00:02:54,640 --> 00:02:56,562
or the full set of teeth?
74
00:02:57,110 --> 00:02:59,812
Is that by chance your friend?
75
00:02:59,837 --> 00:03:02,249
The one man not in overalls? Yes.
76
00:03:02,274 --> 00:03:03,274
Arthur!
77
00:03:03,716 --> 00:03:06,028
Tate! What are you doing here?
78
00:03:06,053 --> 00:03:08,039
[LAUGHS] Music conference in Nashville.
79
00:03:08,064 --> 00:03:10,820
- Wow.
- I skipped out early just to see you.
80
00:03:10,845 --> 00:03:12,935
Plus, it was all downhill
after the keynote speaker.
81
00:03:12,960 --> 00:03:15,039
- Were you the speaker?
- I was.
82
00:03:15,064 --> 00:03:16,890
My keynote was C-sharp.
83
00:03:17,155 --> 00:03:18,434
It killed at the conference.
84
00:03:18,468 --> 00:03:20,465
[LAUGHS] Ginny, this is Tate Tippet,
85
00:03:20,467 --> 00:03:23,735
who is also an idiosyncratic
Princeton music professor
86
00:03:23,737 --> 00:03:24,968
who judges people harshly.
87
00:03:24,993 --> 00:03:28,050
Oh, cool, I'm so excited
for there to be two of you.
88
00:03:28,075 --> 00:03:30,171
I wanna catch up,
but if you'll excuse me,
89
00:03:30,196 --> 00:03:32,387
I left my car unlocked,
and everyone in here
90
00:03:32,412 --> 00:03:35,146
looks like they could teach
a master class in hot-wiring.
91
00:03:35,148 --> 00:03:37,626
[LAUGHS] Better safe than sorry.
92
00:03:37,882 --> 00:03:40,570
Aw, you have a friend. Isn't that nice?
93
00:03:40,595 --> 00:03:42,851
He is the only person
on the whole campus
94
00:03:42,876 --> 00:03:45,734
who had my back when I
was unfairly dismissed.
95
00:03:45,759 --> 00:03:47,453
Are we still calling that unfair?
96
00:03:47,478 --> 00:03:48,570
I mean, didn't you, like,
97
00:03:48,595 --> 00:03:50,405
throw a piece of furniture at a child?
98
00:03:50,430 --> 00:03:53,899
I gently tossed a chair
that landed near a student.
99
00:03:53,901 --> 00:03:55,500
It was student adjacent.
100
00:03:55,502 --> 00:03:58,737
I don't mind if you talk back,
but please use your diaphragm.
101
00:03:58,739 --> 00:04:00,545
Also, don't talk back.
102
00:04:00,570 --> 00:04:02,584
[COUNTRY MUSIC]
103
00:04:02,984 --> 00:04:05,929
I like this town for you.
Might even be a little jealous
104
00:04:05,954 --> 00:04:07,656
that you got away from the rat race.
105
00:04:07,681 --> 00:04:09,820
Hey, Conly Fork has a rat race.
106
00:04:09,845 --> 00:04:11,493
Thursdays by the big fork,
107
00:04:11,518 --> 00:04:15,140
although a small possum
owned by a powerful family
108
00:04:15,165 --> 00:04:16,165
wins every time.
109
00:04:16,190 --> 00:04:18,008
Wherever you go,
you can't get away from politics.
110
00:04:18,032 --> 00:04:20,536
There is the hardened
cynic I fell in love with.
111
00:04:20,561 --> 00:04:22,773
Ooh. Oh shoot.
112
00:04:22,798 --> 00:04:24,460
I have to head over to the church
113
00:04:24,498 --> 00:04:26,277
for an all-night sing-a-long.
114
00:04:26,302 --> 00:04:27,921
[LAUGHS]
115
00:04:28,624 --> 00:04:31,154
- Aw, you're serious.
- Mmhmm.
116
00:04:31,179 --> 00:04:32,490
Well, that's too bad.
117
00:04:32,515 --> 00:04:34,937
I was hoping you'd come
out and celebrate with me.
118
00:04:35,142 --> 00:04:38,076
You're looking at the new
chair of the music department.
119
00:04:38,078 --> 00:04:39,710
What?
120
00:04:39,735 --> 00:04:42,092
[LAUGHS] Congratulations!
121
00:04:42,117 --> 00:04:44,897
Finally a visionary at the helm!
122
00:04:44,922 --> 00:04:45,922
Thanks, man.
123
00:04:45,947 --> 00:04:49,529
That means a lot coming
from the best professor
124
00:04:49,554 --> 00:04:52,124
to ever steal my lunch
from the faculty fridge.
125
00:04:52,149 --> 00:04:54,102
Hey, that baba ghanoush
was for everyone.
126
00:04:54,127 --> 00:04:55,414
We need to celebrate.
127
00:04:55,439 --> 00:04:57,094
- We should be drinking.
- We are drinking.
128
00:04:57,118 --> 00:04:59,093
What if I were to tell
you I know of a place
129
00:04:59,118 --> 00:05:01,719
that has bourbon and clean glasses?
130
00:05:01,744 --> 00:05:04,046
- What if I were to say, "hell yes."
- Hell yeah.
131
00:05:04,382 --> 00:05:08,662
I got us a great rate
at a hotel in Lexington!
132
00:05:08,687 --> 00:05:10,108
And then I got us a good rate
133
00:05:10,110 --> 00:05:12,398
at a hotel in Lexington, Kentucky!
134
00:05:12,423 --> 00:05:14,122
[SQUEALS] So, all we gotta do
135
00:05:14,147 --> 00:05:17,315
is raise 1,000 bucks,
and we will be all set.
136
00:05:17,317 --> 00:05:19,117
Ooo, this'll help us keep track.
137
00:05:19,996 --> 00:05:20,996
Fancy.
138
00:05:21,021 --> 00:05:23,664
I think it's cute you think
you know what fancy is.
139
00:05:23,689 --> 00:05:25,484
I just hooked us up to
our social media page
140
00:05:25,509 --> 00:05:26,953
so people can watch us sing.
141
00:05:26,978 --> 00:05:28,070
Oh, no!
142
00:05:28,095 --> 00:05:30,789
My gram gram follows us,
and she's a huge troll.
143
00:05:30,831 --> 00:05:32,841
Hey, uh, change of plans.
144
00:05:32,866 --> 00:05:34,766
Uh, I can help you guys get ready,
145
00:05:34,768 --> 00:05:37,535
but I gotta take my buddy out
to celebrate his promotion.
146
00:05:37,537 --> 00:05:41,162
Not to oversell, but everything
in my life depends on this.
147
00:05:41,187 --> 00:05:42,979
- Shoulders back.
- You're bailing on the Hymn-A-Thon?
148
00:05:43,003 --> 00:05:45,954
Tate has always been
my biggest booster...
149
00:05:45,979 --> 00:05:48,267
Lose the gum...
They promoted him to chair...
150
00:05:48,292 --> 00:05:50,617
- So you wanna throw him?
- Of the department.
151
00:05:50,642 --> 00:05:51,955
Shut up. So I'm gonna to take him out.
152
00:05:51,979 --> 00:05:54,030
I'm gonna show him a good time,
I'm gonna get my job back,
153
00:05:54,054 --> 00:05:56,408
and finally I can pull
myself out of the muck.
154
00:05:56,704 --> 00:05:58,556
Are we the muck?
155
00:05:58,558 --> 00:06:01,361
No, you're the... the gross...
156
00:06:01,386 --> 00:06:02,771
creatures who befriended me
157
00:06:02,796 --> 00:06:06,226
when I was in the muck,
and I will never forget you.
158
00:06:06,251 --> 00:06:08,010
Hit middle C.
You know where middle C is?
159
00:06:08,035 --> 00:06:10,235
Yeah? That's it, that's your anchor.
160
00:06:10,237 --> 00:06:12,267
Stay close to that.
You guys are gonna be great.
161
00:06:12,292 --> 00:06:14,861
- Appreciate it.
- Yeah, I got a note.
162
00:06:14,886 --> 00:06:17,786
- ? You suck ?
- ? You suck ?
163
00:06:17,811 --> 00:06:21,337
CHOIR: ? You suck ?
164
00:06:22,709 --> 00:06:24,844
I can't believe Arthur abandoned us.
165
00:06:24,869 --> 00:06:26,096
Although, to be fair, it falls in line
166
00:06:26,120 --> 00:06:28,711
with every other terrible
aspect of his personality.
167
00:06:28,736 --> 00:06:31,914
Never trust a man with that
many decorative scarves.
168
00:06:31,939 --> 00:06:33,672
Who's he think he is? Johnny Depp?
169
00:06:33,674 --> 00:06:35,922
He can't out-scarf Depp. No one can.
170
00:06:35,947 --> 00:06:38,944
You can try, but Depp
will just put on another scarf,
171
00:06:38,946 --> 00:06:40,880
and where does that leave you?
I'll tell you.
172
00:06:40,905 --> 00:06:42,847
One scarf behind Depp.
173
00:06:42,849 --> 00:06:44,622
Okay, enough. Ya'll!
174
00:06:44,647 --> 00:06:46,518
- We can do this!
- Aw.
175
00:06:46,520 --> 00:06:48,358
Remember when Arthur said "we"?
176
00:06:48,383 --> 00:06:49,515
I will lead us.
177
00:06:49,540 --> 00:06:51,199
We got along fine before Arthur.
178
00:06:51,224 --> 00:06:54,020
We can do it again.
So now, let's get out there,
179
00:06:54,045 --> 00:06:56,184
and let's sing like nobody's watching!
180
00:06:56,209 --> 00:06:57,756
- CHOIR: Yeah!
- But hopefully they will be!
181
00:06:57,780 --> 00:06:59,856
- CHOIR: Yeah!
- Can I get a what-what?
182
00:06:59,881 --> 00:07:00,966
- What?
- What?
183
00:07:01,850 --> 00:07:03,735
That's the spirit! [LAUGHS]
184
00:07:03,737 --> 00:07:06,888
- Bibs, the usual.
- You have a usual?
185
00:07:06,913 --> 00:07:08,591
Amazing. Make it two.
186
00:07:08,616 --> 00:07:11,991
Okay, so four Winter Creek
Bourbons, neat. Comin' up.
187
00:07:12,016 --> 00:07:13,920
Bibs, you're looking at
the best instrumentalist
188
00:07:13,945 --> 00:07:15,378
in all of North America.
189
00:07:15,403 --> 00:07:17,567
- Jazz Piano...
- Industrial bassoon...
190
00:07:17,592 --> 00:07:19,006
Ska sitar.
191
00:07:19,031 --> 00:07:21,349
So what's it gonna take to get
this guy in the lineup tonight?
192
00:07:21,373 --> 00:07:23,888
Aw, I don't know. It's cover band night.
193
00:07:23,890 --> 00:07:25,506
I don't wanna bump Shammy Hagar.
194
00:07:25,531 --> 00:07:26,902
Bibs, you gotta help me out here.
195
00:07:26,927 --> 00:07:28,460
I need to butter this guy up.
196
00:07:28,462 --> 00:07:30,247
He may have a job for me at Princeton,
197
00:07:30,272 --> 00:07:32,330
which means you will never
have to listen to someone say,
198
00:07:32,332 --> 00:07:34,595
"could you please switch the
TV to the opera channel,"
199
00:07:34,620 --> 00:07:35,873
ever again.
200
00:07:37,155 --> 00:07:40,392
Hey, Mr. Sitar! You're up next.
201
00:07:40,608 --> 00:07:42,084
- Hello world!
- Hi.
202
00:07:42,109 --> 00:07:44,583
We are the Second First Church Choir,
203
00:07:44,608 --> 00:07:47,731
and we welcome you to our
all night Hymn-A-Thon.
204
00:07:47,756 --> 00:07:49,739
- Hi.
- Ooh, look!
205
00:07:49,764 --> 00:07:51,653
A little heart is floating!
206
00:07:51,678 --> 00:07:54,270
Social media love is addictive. [GASPS]
207
00:07:54,295 --> 00:07:56,809
But not as addictive as God's love.
208
00:07:56,834 --> 00:07:58,731
[POPPING]
209
00:07:58,756 --> 00:08:03,824
Our first hymn is dedicated
to Mrs. Elliot's cat, Buster,
210
00:08:03,849 --> 00:08:06,404
who died doing what he loved:
211
00:08:06,803 --> 00:08:08,668
having diabetes.
212
00:08:08,693 --> 00:08:12,925
CHOIR: ? All things
bright and beautiful ?
213
00:08:12,950 --> 00:08:18,238
? All creatures great and small ?
214
00:08:18,263 --> 00:08:22,441
? All things wise and wonderful ?
215
00:08:22,466 --> 00:08:26,122
? The lord God made them all ?
216
00:08:26,147 --> 00:08:29,464
[HEAVY METAL RIFF]
217
00:08:29,489 --> 00:08:32,023
??
218
00:08:32,025 --> 00:08:34,325
- Woo!
- [LAUGHS]
219
00:08:34,327 --> 00:08:37,162
??
220
00:08:37,164 --> 00:08:38,830
I was pissed when I got bumped,
221
00:08:38,832 --> 00:08:41,566
but I'll be honest, this guy's good!
222
00:08:41,591 --> 00:08:43,501
Hey, I'm trying to give
my buddy a good night.
223
00:08:43,503 --> 00:08:46,238
If you ask for an encore,
I'll buy your next beer.
224
00:08:46,263 --> 00:08:50,909
??
225
00:08:50,911 --> 00:08:54,300
What are we, like, the
lamest frat house on campus?
226
00:08:54,325 --> 00:08:55,519
These pledges suck.
227
00:08:55,544 --> 00:08:58,349
Come on, Conley Fork!
Send us to regionals.
228
00:08:58,351 --> 00:08:59,751
Come on! Please, please!
229
00:08:59,753 --> 00:09:01,294
[DING]
230
00:09:02,294 --> 00:09:05,379
"I will donate $5 if
everyone stops speaking,
231
00:09:05,404 --> 00:09:08,013
and the big guy with
the voice says my name."
232
00:09:08,740 --> 00:09:10,785
[DINGS] "Not him."
233
00:09:10,810 --> 00:09:12,731
Oh, rude.
234
00:09:16,091 --> 00:09:17,457
Joanne.
235
00:09:17,482 --> 00:09:19,215
[GASPS] Keep going.
236
00:09:19,240 --> 00:09:21,254
- Come on.
- It's working.
237
00:09:21,279 --> 00:09:22,754
- _
- [DINGS]
238
00:09:22,779 --> 00:09:24,042
Joanne.
239
00:09:24,044 --> 00:09:25,279
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
240
00:09:25,304 --> 00:09:27,689
All right! They loved you.
241
00:09:27,714 --> 00:09:29,310
I haven't seen them that worked up
242
00:09:29,335 --> 00:09:31,652
since the "Suzanne Duran" reunion.
243
00:09:31,677 --> 00:09:33,384
Fun crowd. You should get up there.
244
00:09:33,386 --> 00:09:36,130
If I killed it,
you could at least wound it.
245
00:09:36,155 --> 00:09:38,033
Tate, let's cut to the chase.
246
00:09:38,318 --> 00:09:40,146
I know you came here with an agenda.
247
00:09:40,171 --> 00:09:41,203
You do?
248
00:09:41,228 --> 00:09:43,361
Yeah, nobody comes to
Kentucky voluntarily.
249
00:09:43,363 --> 00:09:44,729
Not even LSU.
250
00:09:44,731 --> 00:09:46,097
All right. [SIGHS]
251
00:09:46,099 --> 00:09:49,267
Tate, yes, of course, I'd love to.
252
00:09:49,269 --> 00:09:51,636
I forgive them. Show me where to sign.
253
00:09:51,638 --> 00:09:53,404
I don't care about the salary.
254
00:09:53,406 --> 00:09:57,699
Oh, oh, oh, um... you...
255
00:09:57,724 --> 00:09:59,465
You think I'm here to offer you a job?
256
00:09:59,490 --> 00:10:04,715
I did... until... just now.
257
00:10:04,740 --> 00:10:06,926
I don't know how to
put this delicately...
258
00:10:06,951 --> 00:10:08,293
[TENSE MUSIC]
259
00:10:08,318 --> 00:10:09,821
So I won't. Your career is dead,
260
00:10:09,823 --> 00:10:11,886
and you're never gonna
teach again at Princeton.
261
00:10:11,911 --> 00:10:13,825
- Encore!
- Ugh.
262
00:10:13,827 --> 00:10:15,591
I know this is not great timing.
263
00:10:15,616 --> 00:10:19,775
??
264
00:10:19,800 --> 00:10:22,244
Shammy Hagar, do me a favor.
265
00:10:22,482 --> 00:10:24,936
Plunge that pint glass into my skull.
266
00:10:28,026 --> 00:10:29,535
Gotta give the people what they want.
267
00:10:29,560 --> 00:10:30,701
Encore!
268
00:10:30,726 --> 00:10:32,887
I'm not buying you any more beer.
269
00:10:32,912 --> 00:10:34,083
Withdrawn.
270
00:10:34,108 --> 00:10:35,161
So you came all this way
271
00:10:35,186 --> 00:10:37,997
just to rub my face in
my non-existent future?
272
00:10:38,022 --> 00:10:40,495
No, I came all this way
273
00:10:40,520 --> 00:10:43,201
to get you to sign a letter of apology,
274
00:10:43,226 --> 00:10:46,576
indemnifying the school
from any legal action.
275
00:10:46,601 --> 00:10:48,247
Apology? For what?
276
00:10:48,272 --> 00:10:50,572
You always said students
were a bunch of snowflakes
277
00:10:50,597 --> 00:10:52,073
who needed to toughen up.
278
00:10:52,098 --> 00:10:53,896
They do, but... [SIGHS]
279
00:10:53,921 --> 00:10:55,844
times have changed.
280
00:10:55,869 --> 00:10:58,703
We just gave a professor paid
leave while we investigate
281
00:10:58,728 --> 00:11:01,669
her use of the term "flame retardant."
282
00:11:01,694 --> 00:11:03,247
I thought you had my back.
283
00:11:03,272 --> 00:11:06,543
Actually, yeah, I did,
but I'm an administrator now.
284
00:11:06,568 --> 00:11:07,945
I gotta make an example of you.
285
00:11:07,947 --> 00:11:10,107
I can't believe Tate Tippet
sold me out for a paycheck.
286
00:11:10,132 --> 00:11:12,099
In my defense,
287
00:11:12,333 --> 00:11:14,585
it's a really big paycheck.
288
00:11:14,587 --> 00:11:16,053
[COUNTRY MUSIC]
289
00:11:16,055 --> 00:11:17,615
You seriously won't sign?
290
00:11:17,640 --> 00:11:20,274
I may be screwed, but so are you.
291
00:11:21,099 --> 00:11:23,961
Hey, man, you see that guy at the bar
292
00:11:23,963 --> 00:11:26,731
who spent $300 on that stupid fedora?
293
00:11:26,733 --> 00:11:29,521
He just told me he thinks
he could take you, easy.
294
00:11:30,158 --> 00:11:32,466
Nobody takes Sqwatchy easy.
295
00:11:33,509 --> 00:11:35,016
Yeah, you don't need that.
296
00:11:35,041 --> 00:11:36,990
??
297
00:11:37,015 --> 00:11:40,099
? Oh, hallelujah ?
298
00:11:40,124 --> 00:11:44,593
? Great is thy faithfulness ?
299
00:11:44,618 --> 00:11:48,746
? Oh, God, my father ?
300
00:11:48,771 --> 00:11:52,066
- [SIGHS]
- ? Thou changest not ?
301
00:11:52,091 --> 00:11:53,724
? Thy compassions... ?
302
00:11:53,726 --> 00:11:54,919
[LINE RINGING]
303
00:11:54,944 --> 00:11:55,958
[PHONE RINGS]
304
00:11:56,185 --> 00:11:57,185
This is Brian.
305
00:11:57,210 --> 00:11:59,904
Hi, yes, I'm calling from
the Second First Church.
306
00:11:59,929 --> 00:12:01,963
- Hi, Jenny.
- Oh, you remembered!
307
00:12:01,988 --> 00:12:03,411
Well, you call more than Kevin,
308
00:12:03,436 --> 00:12:04,902
and he's obsessed with me.
309
00:12:04,904 --> 00:12:07,701
Aw, he sounds nice. Uh, quick question.
310
00:12:07,726 --> 00:12:09,751
If we were to extend
our stay to four nights,
311
00:12:09,776 --> 00:12:11,943
what rate would you be able to give us?
312
00:12:11,945 --> 00:12:15,012
I could knock another
$10 off the nightly rate.
313
00:12:15,014 --> 00:12:17,841
Okay, good, do that...
now cancel those two extra nights.
314
00:12:17,866 --> 00:12:19,194
I'm so glad we could lock this rate in.
315
00:12:19,218 --> 00:12:20,982
Say hi to Kevin for me!
316
00:12:21,397 --> 00:12:24,999
CHOIR: ? All unto... ?
317
00:12:25,376 --> 00:12:28,710
? Me ?
318
00:12:28,735 --> 00:12:32,935
- CHOIR: ? Ooh ?
- [POPPING]
319
00:12:33,714 --> 00:12:35,730
Guys, great news.
320
00:12:35,755 --> 00:12:37,768
I got the hotel to
lower their rate again.
321
00:12:37,770 --> 00:12:39,537
- Hell yeah.
- How's it going out here?
322
00:12:39,539 --> 00:12:40,638
Be doing a lot better
323
00:12:40,663 --> 00:12:43,151
if we maxed out Zach Whisperbone's Amex.
324
00:12:43,176 --> 00:12:44,279
[PHONE DINGS]
325
00:12:44,304 --> 00:12:45,304
Oh, hey.
326
00:12:45,329 --> 00:12:47,855
Kimberly said she'd
give us $20 right now
327
00:12:47,880 --> 00:12:52,516
if, "the big guy says her
name in a disapproving tone."
328
00:12:52,780 --> 00:12:55,507
When are you gonna learn it's never you?
329
00:12:55,758 --> 00:12:58,483
This is starting to weird me out.
330
00:12:58,508 --> 00:12:59,929
I don't wanna kink shame,
331
00:12:59,954 --> 00:13:01,741
but these women are not making it easy.
332
00:13:01,766 --> 00:13:03,139
Well, tough noogies.
333
00:13:03,164 --> 00:13:06,304
From here on,
there's no turning down any requests.
334
00:13:07,314 --> 00:13:08,999
We are the Second First Choir,
335
00:13:09,024 --> 00:13:10,845
and we will do anything for money.
336
00:13:10,870 --> 00:13:13,147
- [PHONE DINGS]
- [GASPS] Oh, God, not that.
337
00:13:13,172 --> 00:13:15,710
Dwayne, come on.
Get up here, you got this.
338
00:13:15,735 --> 00:13:17,485
[BEATBOXING]
339
00:13:17,510 --> 00:13:19,844
Kimberly, Kimberly, Kimberly.
340
00:13:19,846 --> 00:13:23,077
Mmm, mmm, mmm. You better than that.
341
00:13:23,102 --> 00:13:26,124
$5 to eat a ghost pepper? Heck yeah.
342
00:13:26,149 --> 00:13:27,882
??
343
00:13:28,047 --> 00:13:29,279
Yeah!
344
00:13:29,647 --> 00:13:30,874
You got this!
345
00:13:30,899 --> 00:13:34,952
CHOIR: ? A mighty fortress is our God ?
346
00:13:34,977 --> 00:13:39,429
- ? Hey! ?
- ? A mighty fortress is our God ?
347
00:13:39,462 --> 00:13:41,117
CHOIR: ? He's our God. ?
348
00:13:41,142 --> 00:13:45,084
- ? A bulwark never failing ?
- Another one, really?
349
00:13:45,109 --> 00:13:48,179
- Natalie DeWimple.
- CHOIR: ? He never fails ?
350
00:13:48,884 --> 00:13:50,538
? Amid the floods ?
351
00:13:50,563 --> 00:13:52,094
CHOIR: ? That's going to build an ark ?
352
00:13:52,118 --> 00:13:54,890
- ? Of mortal ills prevailing ?
- [POPPING]
353
00:13:54,915 --> 00:13:57,710
Gram gram, I know that's you,
and that is rude.
354
00:13:57,735 --> 00:14:00,335
? His craft and power are great ?
355
00:14:00,360 --> 00:14:02,710
Linda Bellini, come on down.
356
00:14:02,735 --> 00:14:06,303
You're the next contestant on
"The Price is Right."
357
00:14:06,328 --> 00:14:11,796
- ? On earth is not his equal ?
- [POPPING]
358
00:14:11,821 --> 00:14:13,374
I'm just saying, Brian,
359
00:14:13,399 --> 00:14:15,566
if you knock another
$10 off the room rate,
360
00:14:15,568 --> 00:14:18,692
we could get the word out
about your great establishment.
361
00:14:18,717 --> 00:14:21,549
? The Lexington Inn
is the place to stay ?
362
00:14:21,574 --> 00:14:24,763
? For business, pleasure,
or a fun getaway ?
363
00:14:24,788 --> 00:14:28,273
? People say it's a
little slice of heaven ?
364
00:14:28,298 --> 00:14:32,460
? But don't sleep in,
'cause checkout's at 11:00 ?
365
00:14:32,485 --> 00:14:34,249
[DOOR CLOSES]
366
00:14:34,274 --> 00:14:35,963
I don't know all the hymns,
367
00:14:35,988 --> 00:14:37,913
but I'm pretty sure
that's not one of them.
368
00:14:37,938 --> 00:14:39,984
Arthur. You came back.
369
00:14:40,009 --> 00:14:42,734
People are just paying
us to do weird crap now.
370
00:14:42,759 --> 00:14:44,726
It's a career I never knew I wanted.
371
00:14:44,764 --> 00:14:48,327
Even with all that we're
still $348 short of our goal.
372
00:14:48,352 --> 00:14:49,960
It's actually $353.
373
00:14:49,985 --> 00:14:53,023
Yeah, my dad wouldn't pay once
I threw up the ghost pepper.
374
00:14:53,048 --> 00:14:55,023
It's the middle of the night.
375
00:14:55,048 --> 00:14:57,085
Junior is asleep on the church floor,
376
00:14:57,110 --> 00:14:59,102
which is what we were trying
to avoid in the first place.
377
00:14:59,126 --> 00:15:00,843
Yeah, can we just call it quits?
378
00:15:00,868 --> 00:15:01,968
[ARGUING CHATTER]
379
00:15:01,993 --> 00:15:04,792
No, no, no, no, no.
We can't call it quits.
380
00:15:05,773 --> 00:15:07,210
We came here to sing.
381
00:15:07,235 --> 00:15:09,476
That's what we're gonna do.
382
00:15:09,501 --> 00:15:13,819
I mean, is this the place we
really wanna be right now?
383
00:15:13,844 --> 00:15:15,477
No, of course not,
384
00:15:15,661 --> 00:15:19,343
but if all of our other options
have been taken away, yeah.
385
00:15:20,510 --> 00:15:22,444
So I'm gonna conduct.
386
00:15:23,679 --> 00:15:25,046
- And we're...
- [DINGS]
387
00:15:25,071 --> 00:15:28,516
_
388
00:15:28,541 --> 00:15:33,152
gonna sing "If You're Happy
and You Know It."
389
00:15:33,177 --> 00:15:34,918
[POPPING]
390
00:15:36,115 --> 00:15:38,285
[PLAYS KEY]
391
00:15:38,310 --> 00:15:39,976
CHOIR: ? If you're happy ?
392
00:15:40,001 --> 00:15:43,160
? And you know it clap your hands ?
393
00:15:43,185 --> 00:15:44,481
[CRYING] Everybody!
394
00:15:44,506 --> 00:15:49,317
? If you're happy and you know it,
clap your hands ?
395
00:15:50,083 --> 00:15:54,642
CHOIR: ? If you're happy and
you know it, clap your hands ?
396
00:15:54,667 --> 00:15:56,834
[CRIES] If you're happy,
and you know it!
397
00:15:56,836 --> 00:15:58,895
I can't see his face. Is he happy?
398
00:16:01,703 --> 00:16:05,778
So, um, I'm guessing
you didn't get the job?
399
00:16:05,803 --> 00:16:08,835
That job or any other apparently,
400
00:16:08,860 --> 00:16:11,484
and now the whole world knows.
401
00:16:11,509 --> 00:16:12,718
Oh, no. No, no, no.
402
00:16:12,743 --> 00:16:15,687
It's just Junior's extended
family and a bunch of pervs.
403
00:16:15,712 --> 00:16:17,593
- I'm sorry, Arthur.
- No!
404
00:16:17,618 --> 00:16:18,837
I thought I was so important that
405
00:16:18,861 --> 00:16:20,243
the rules didn't apply to me.
406
00:16:20,268 --> 00:16:22,665
- It's hubris.
- Like Oedipus!
407
00:16:23,102 --> 00:16:25,499
It was a trivia question
on my string cheese.
408
00:16:25,524 --> 00:16:27,813
I deserved to get fired. I'm a dick.
409
00:16:27,838 --> 00:16:30,797
Well, the first step to
healing is admitting it.
410
00:16:30,822 --> 00:16:34,323
Unless you committed a crime,
then it's deny, deny, deny.
411
00:16:34,325 --> 00:16:35,791
And the fact you feel bad about it
412
00:16:35,793 --> 00:16:36,909
shows just how much you've grown.
413
00:16:36,933 --> 00:16:38,775
I was kinda hoping
someone was gonna object
414
00:16:38,800 --> 00:16:39,948
to the whole, "I'm a dick," thing.
415
00:16:39,972 --> 00:16:42,308
I do, but only because I have
416
00:16:42,333 --> 00:16:44,494
more clever and specific insults.
417
00:16:45,337 --> 00:16:48,314
Kimberly said she'll pay
$10 to hear those insults.
418
00:16:48,339 --> 00:16:49,822
I got you, girl.
419
00:16:49,847 --> 00:16:52,151
Hey, guys, I know I said that
we should do anything
420
00:16:52,176 --> 00:16:53,704
to get to regionals, but...
421
00:16:54,344 --> 00:16:58,025
we don't turn on our friends
when they need us the most.
422
00:16:58,282 --> 00:16:59,812
Thank you.
423
00:16:59,837 --> 00:17:01,554
And when you feel better,
424
00:17:01,579 --> 00:17:04,376
we should have some words,
because you are a real dick.
425
00:17:04,401 --> 00:17:07,126
Look, I can't un-toss the chair.
426
00:17:07,717 --> 00:17:10,525
I can't un-abandon the Hymn-A-Thon,
427
00:17:10,550 --> 00:17:13,181
and the fact that that
doesn't sound strange to me
428
00:17:13,206 --> 00:17:15,095
means I've been in Kentucky too long.
429
00:17:15,120 --> 00:17:20,095
But what I can do,
is I can help you raise this money.
430
00:17:20,120 --> 00:17:22,854
Alas, our churchgoing
audience is asleep.
431
00:17:22,879 --> 00:17:24,045
Why did we do this
432
00:17:24,070 --> 00:17:26,798
from 7:00 PM to 7:00 AM instead
of the other way around?
433
00:17:26,823 --> 00:17:29,189
Because I look good as
hell in these pajamas.
434
00:17:29,214 --> 00:17:32,158
They're not churchgoing people,
but I do know a place
435
00:17:32,183 --> 00:17:34,462
where there is an audience that's awake.
436
00:17:34,487 --> 00:17:35,987
I know you're probably
thinking the prison,
437
00:17:36,011 --> 00:17:37,330
but they actually make you go to bed
438
00:17:37,354 --> 00:17:38,920
earlier than you think.
439
00:17:39,151 --> 00:17:42,479
? I do my hair toss, check my nails ?
440
00:17:42,504 --> 00:17:45,179
- ? Baby, how you feelin'? ?
- CHOIR: ? Feelin' good as heck ?
441
00:17:45,204 --> 00:17:48,658
? Hair toss, check my nails,
baby, how you feelin'? ?
442
00:17:48,683 --> 00:17:50,204
CHOIR: ? Feelin' good as heck ?
443
00:17:50,229 --> 00:17:52,760
- CHOIR: ? Ooh, child ?
- ? Tired of the bullcrap ?
444
00:17:53,151 --> 00:17:54,798
All right, all right.
445
00:17:54,823 --> 00:17:56,150
Thank you, Bibs.
446
00:17:57,495 --> 00:17:59,361
How 'bout them, huh?
447
00:18:00,021 --> 00:18:02,072
? Come now, come dry your eyes ?
448
00:18:02,097 --> 00:18:04,530
? You know you a star,
you can touch the sky ?
449
00:18:04,555 --> 00:18:07,059
? I know that it's hard,
but you have to try ?
450
00:18:07,084 --> 00:18:09,700
? If you need advice let me simplify ?
451
00:18:09,725 --> 00:18:12,966
You know, if you still have
that letter of apology,
452
00:18:12,991 --> 00:18:14,490
I'll sign it.
453
00:18:14,849 --> 00:18:17,537
That's... unexpected.
454
00:18:17,927 --> 00:18:19,277
Bibs, you got a pen?
455
00:18:19,302 --> 00:18:22,388
CHOIR: ? I do my hair toss,
check my nails ?
456
00:18:22,413 --> 00:18:25,044
? Baby, how you feelin'?
Feelin' good as heck! ?
457
00:18:25,069 --> 00:18:28,771
? Hair toss, check my nails,
baby, how you feelin'? ?
458
00:18:28,773 --> 00:18:30,200
? Feelin' good as heck! ?
459
00:18:30,225 --> 00:18:32,225
Look, I really appreciate
you doing this for me.
460
00:18:32,250 --> 00:18:33,783
Oh, I'm not doing it for you.
461
00:18:33,808 --> 00:18:35,788
I'm doing it
'cause it's the right thing to do.
462
00:18:35,813 --> 00:18:40,144
I'm doing it because this
is the place I belong.
463
00:18:40,169 --> 00:18:42,151
CHOIR: ? Boss up and change your life ?
464
00:18:42,153 --> 00:18:44,286
? You can have it all, no sacrifice ?
465
00:18:44,288 --> 00:18:46,974
? I know he did you wrong,
we can make it right ?
466
00:18:46,999 --> 00:18:48,349
I got friends...
467
00:18:48,374 --> 00:18:50,277
Sorry. To be clear,
468
00:18:50,302 --> 00:18:54,607
I don't care why you're doing it,
just that you are.
469
00:18:54,632 --> 00:18:57,028
CHOIR: ? So walk your fine
rear out the door... ?
470
00:18:57,053 --> 00:18:58,911
What a [BLEEP].
471
00:18:58,936 --> 00:19:00,810
CHOIR: ? ... rear out the door ?
472
00:19:00,835 --> 00:19:01,958
? Woo! ?
473
00:19:01,983 --> 00:19:04,951
? And do your hair toss,
check my nails ?
474
00:19:04,976 --> 00:19:07,776
? Baby, how you feelin'?
Feelin' good as heck! ?
475
00:19:07,778 --> 00:19:09,979
? Hair toss, check my nails ?
476
00:19:09,981 --> 00:19:12,535
? Baby how you feelin'?
Feelin' good as heck! ?
477
00:19:12,560 --> 00:19:16,452
? Hair toss, check my nails,
baby, how you feelin'? ?
478
00:19:16,454 --> 00:19:17,857
? Feelin' good as heck! ?
479
00:19:17,882 --> 00:19:21,267
? Hair toss, check my nails,
baby, how you feelin'? ?
480
00:19:21,292 --> 00:19:23,359
? Feelin' good as heck! ?
481
00:19:23,607 --> 00:19:25,201
- ? Feelin' good as heck! ?
- [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
482
00:19:25,225 --> 00:19:28,271
? Baby, how you feelin'?
Feelin' good as heck! ?
483
00:19:28,296 --> 00:19:31,731
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
484
00:19:39,572 --> 00:19:41,520
I am beat.
485
00:19:41,545 --> 00:19:42,739
Me too.
486
00:19:42,764 --> 00:19:45,131
I'm so tired,
I've forgone the perfect opportunity
487
00:19:45,156 --> 00:19:47,646
to draw a penis on Junior's forehead.
488
00:19:48,207 --> 00:19:50,575
No, I'll never be that tired.
489
00:19:51,198 --> 00:19:52,786
Next time we do a Hymn-A-Thon
490
00:19:52,811 --> 00:19:55,378
can we not do it the night
before I have a morning shift?
491
00:19:55,403 --> 00:19:57,693
- That's like your fifth cup.
- You got that right.
492
00:19:57,695 --> 00:19:59,130
Why don't you just get an enema?
493
00:19:59,155 --> 00:20:01,155
You put it on the menu, I'll order it.
494
00:20:01,180 --> 00:20:03,255
- [PHONE BUZZING]
- I should take this.
495
00:20:03,280 --> 00:20:04,575
Dang it, Brian,
496
00:20:04,600 --> 00:20:06,514
you better not be calling
to take back your offer.
497
00:20:06,538 --> 00:20:09,568
We had a verbal contract.
That's a thing idn't it?
498
00:20:09,593 --> 00:20:12,785
It is, and we have a firm
no backsies policy.
499
00:20:12,810 --> 00:20:15,544
Oh, kindergarten rules. I respect that.
500
00:20:15,569 --> 00:20:16,935
You've a tough negotiator.
501
00:20:16,960 --> 00:20:18,858
In fact, I know this may sound crazy,
502
00:20:18,883 --> 00:20:21,445
but would you be
interested in interviewing
503
00:20:21,470 --> 00:20:24,163
for assistant manager
when you're in Lexington?
504
00:20:24,500 --> 00:20:25,500
[GASPS] Oh, yes.
505
00:20:25,525 --> 00:20:27,791
I mean I definitely
would love to interview.
506
00:20:28,036 --> 00:20:31,543
I mean... maybe,
if it's convenient for me.
507
00:20:31,568 --> 00:20:33,598
You're literally going
to be staying here.
508
00:20:33,796 --> 00:20:35,229
What's stopping you?
509
00:20:35,254 --> 00:20:38,785
??
510
00:20:38,810 --> 00:20:41,449
I'm sorry, uh. I have to think about it.
511
00:20:41,474 --> 00:20:42,682
I'll see you next week.
512
00:20:42,707 --> 00:20:45,240
??
513
00:20:45,242 --> 00:20:49,105
Oh, that was just normal old
hotel confirmation business.
514
00:20:49,130 --> 00:20:53,590
You know, numbers, letters, J, Q,
515
00:20:53,615 --> 00:20:55,194
seven... You all set here?
516
00:20:55,219 --> 00:20:57,004
Uh, actually, I want some more.
517
00:20:57,029 --> 00:20:58,328
I finally took your advice
518
00:20:58,353 --> 00:21:00,796
and wiped up the gravy with my biscuit.
519
00:21:01,650 --> 00:21:03,630
You sopped!
520
00:21:03,655 --> 00:21:05,404
- You're on the clock.
- Oh.
521
00:21:05,429 --> 00:21:08,319
You know if you guys can
live the rest of your lives
522
00:21:08,344 --> 00:21:11,108
in Conley Fork, so can I.
523
00:21:11,133 --> 00:21:13,374
It is full of the best
people that I know.
524
00:21:13,399 --> 00:21:16,195
You guys gotta come check out
this masterpiece I just drew.
525
00:21:16,220 --> 00:21:18,593
I call it the "Boner Lisa."
526
00:21:18,643 --> 00:21:23,193
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