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1
00:00:00,124 --> 00:00:01,333
[TV static drones]
2
00:00:01,416 --> 00:00:04,249
[bright tone]
3
00:00:04,583 --> 00:00:05,833
[smooth R&B music]
4
00:00:05,917 --> 00:00:07,166
- ♪ I will treat you like... ♪
5
00:00:07,249 --> 00:00:10,041
- Whoo-hoo!
6
00:00:10,124 --> 00:00:14,708
Mushrooms make Imani
feel so free.
7
00:00:14,792 --> 00:00:16,667
- [sobbing]
Mushrooms make Maddie
8
00:00:16,750 --> 00:00:18,500
feel everything.
9
00:00:18,583 --> 00:00:20,999
- Oh, God, my weave
is trying to eat me.
10
00:00:21,083 --> 00:00:22,500
- It's Maddie's divorce party.
11
00:00:22,583 --> 00:00:24,958
You should be having fun!
12
00:00:25,041 --> 00:00:26,333
- Oh, please
don't let it get me!
13
00:00:26,416 --> 00:00:27,291
I can't fight!
14
00:00:27,375 --> 00:00:29,208
- Stop eating my friend!
Quit it!
15
00:00:29,291 --> 00:00:31,375
- No, please,
we gotta call 911.
16
00:00:31,458 --> 00:00:32,500
My heart's beating fast.
17
00:00:32,583 --> 00:00:33,500
I think I'm gon' die.
18
00:00:33,583 --> 00:00:34,625
- Bitch!
19
00:00:34,708 --> 00:00:37,041
[tense music]
20
00:00:37,124 --> 00:00:38,166
I dare you.
21
00:00:38,249 --> 00:00:40,333
[suspenseful music]
22
00:00:40,416 --> 00:00:42,792
- Katy, please, I'm too young
for her to die.
23
00:00:42,875 --> 00:00:45,166
- There are drugs everywhere!
24
00:00:45,249 --> 00:00:46,917
I am not going to jail
25
00:00:46,999 --> 00:00:49,541
for felony possession
by association.
26
00:00:49,625 --> 00:00:51,041
- Hello, 911?
27
00:00:51,124 --> 00:00:52,458
Oh, hey, it's Eboni.
28
00:00:52,541 --> 00:00:53,875
Hey, listen,
how long do drugs last?
29
00:00:53,958 --> 00:00:55,083
'Cause I'm fucked
all the way up.
30
00:00:55,166 --> 00:00:56,999
[screams]
31
00:00:57,958 --> 00:00:59,541
- Y'all got me fucked up.
32
00:00:59,625 --> 00:01:02,166
Inviting the 5-0?
33
00:01:02,249 --> 00:01:04,041
- Maybe they'll send
stripper firefighters.
34
00:01:04,124 --> 00:01:05,249
[pants]
35
00:01:05,333 --> 00:01:06,708
- [exhales mockingly]
36
00:01:06,792 --> 00:01:09,249
[imitates Imani]
37
00:01:09,333 --> 00:01:10,249
- Oh!
38
00:01:10,333 --> 00:01:12,792
- She said her name
was Eboni.
39
00:01:13,999 --> 00:01:15,583
They sending the cops.
40
00:01:15,667 --> 00:01:17,333
- Yeah, they're definitely
sending the cops.
41
00:01:17,416 --> 00:01:18,708
I got a white area code.
42
00:01:18,792 --> 00:01:19,708
[dramatic musical sting]
43
00:01:19,792 --> 00:01:20,708
- Mm-hmm.
44
00:01:20,792 --> 00:01:22,541
- [gasps]
- Oh, God.
45
00:01:22,625 --> 00:01:24,124
- Eboni.
46
00:01:24,833 --> 00:01:26,750
[all scream]
47
00:01:26,833 --> 00:01:29,750
[suspenseful music]
48
00:01:29,833 --> 00:01:34,917
♪ ♪
49
00:01:34,999 --> 00:01:37,083
[dramatic musical sting]
50
00:01:37,166 --> 00:01:39,375
- [gasping]
51
00:01:41,041 --> 00:01:43,375
[knocking on door]
52
00:01:44,583 --> 00:01:47,875
- [whispers]
Everybody, mouths shut.
53
00:01:47,958 --> 00:01:49,458
- [gasping]
54
00:01:50,875 --> 00:01:52,124
[door bangs]
- [screams]
55
00:01:52,208 --> 00:01:53,999
- Nobody move.
56
00:01:55,166 --> 00:01:58,416
[all screaming]
57
00:01:58,500 --> 00:02:00,083
- Oh, my God!
58
00:02:00,166 --> 00:02:01,208
What is wrong with you?
59
00:02:01,291 --> 00:02:02,708
[vase shatters]
60
00:02:02,792 --> 00:02:06,500
- [panting]
61
00:02:06,583 --> 00:02:07,541
[knife zings]
62
00:02:07,625 --> 00:02:09,083
- Oh, God.
Oh, God.
63
00:02:09,583 --> 00:02:10,917
I'm sorry, y'all.
Good luck.
64
00:02:10,999 --> 00:02:12,291
- No, no,
don't leave me!
65
00:02:12,375 --> 00:02:14,583
- [sighs]
God damn it, Maddie!
66
00:02:14,667 --> 00:02:16,458
[ominous music]
67
00:02:16,541 --> 00:02:17,958
[screams]
Oh, oh, my God!
68
00:02:18,041 --> 00:02:19,249
Oh!
[gasping]
69
00:02:19,333 --> 00:02:20,875
[intense music]
70
00:02:20,958 --> 00:02:22,166
- [whispers]
Yes.
71
00:02:22,249 --> 00:02:24,124
- Katy!
72
00:02:24,208 --> 00:02:26,625
- Help!
Help us, please!
73
00:02:26,708 --> 00:02:27,958
Somebody, oh, my God!
74
00:02:28,041 --> 00:02:30,291
Please, pull over!
Oh!
75
00:02:30,375 --> 00:02:31,958
- ♪ All of the things
we do for love ♪
76
00:02:32,041 --> 00:02:33,583
[phone keyboard clacking]
77
00:02:33,667 --> 00:02:34,792
[sobbing]
Please, pull over.
78
00:02:34,875 --> 00:02:36,917
She's coming for us--
79
00:02:37,667 --> 00:02:39,041
- Shit.
80
00:02:40,875 --> 00:02:43,291
[ominous music]
What the fuck?
81
00:02:43,375 --> 00:02:44,583
Whoa, no, no, no!
82
00:02:44,667 --> 00:02:45,833
[gunshot]
83
00:02:45,917 --> 00:02:49,166
[car horn blaring]
84
00:02:49,249 --> 00:02:50,999
[dramatic musical sting]
85
00:02:51,083 --> 00:02:52,375
[birds chirping]
86
00:02:52,458 --> 00:02:54,124
- [gasps]
87
00:02:55,416 --> 00:02:57,166
[water splashes]
88
00:02:57,249 --> 00:02:58,833
[light, cheery music]
89
00:02:58,917 --> 00:03:01,291
[sighs]
90
00:03:01,375 --> 00:03:03,708
♪ ♪
91
00:03:03,792 --> 00:03:05,458
I'm Katy Campbell,
92
00:03:05,541 --> 00:03:07,041
I'm tough on drugs,
93
00:03:07,124 --> 00:03:09,875
and I want to be
your next city councilperson.
94
00:03:09,958 --> 00:03:14,958
♪ ♪
95
00:03:16,291 --> 00:03:19,208
[Megan Thee Stallion's
"Hot Girl"]
96
00:03:19,291 --> 00:03:21,458
♪ ♪
97
00:03:21,541 --> 00:03:23,500
- ♪ All the hot girls
make it pop, pop, pop ♪
98
00:03:23,583 --> 00:03:25,875
♪ Bad bitches with the bag
say, "Ah, ya, ya" ♪
99
00:03:25,958 --> 00:03:27,166
♪ If he ain't talking
'bout no money ♪
100
00:03:27,249 --> 00:03:28,833
♪ Tell him, "Bye, bye, bye" ♪
101
00:03:28,958 --> 00:03:31,208
♪ And if you see a mad ho,
tell her, "Hah, hah, hah" ♪
102
00:03:31,291 --> 00:03:33,208
♪ Hey, don't get mad, ho ♪
- ♪ Get mad ♪
103
00:03:33,291 --> 00:03:34,667
- ♪ Get a bag, ho ♪
- ♪ Get a bag ♪
104
00:03:34,750 --> 00:03:35,917
- ♪ Don't get mad, ho ♪
- ♪ Get mad ♪
105
00:03:35,999 --> 00:03:37,375
- ♪ Get a bag, ho ♪
- ♪ Get a bag ♪
106
00:03:37,458 --> 00:03:39,583
- ♪ Don't get mad, ho,
huh, fuck a broke ho ♪
107
00:03:39,667 --> 00:03:40,917
♪ Don't get mad, ho ♪
- ♪ Get mad ♪
108
00:03:40,999 --> 00:03:42,208
- ♪ Get a bag, ho ♪
109
00:03:42,291 --> 00:03:44,333
♪ All the hot girls
make it pop, pop, pop ♪
110
00:03:44,416 --> 00:03:46,541
♪ Bad bitches with the bag
say, "Ah, ya, ya" ♪
111
00:03:46,625 --> 00:03:47,875
♪ If he ain't talking
'bout no money ♪
112
00:03:47,958 --> 00:03:49,375
♪ Tell him, "Bye, bye, bye" ♪
113
00:03:49,458 --> 00:03:51,708
♪ And if you see a mad ho,
tell her, "Hah, hah, hah" ♪
114
00:03:51,792 --> 00:03:53,667
♪ Hey, don't get mad, ho ♪
- ♪ Get mad ♪
115
00:03:53,750 --> 00:03:55,041
- ♪ Get a bag, ho ♪
- ♪ Get a bag ♪
116
00:03:55,124 --> 00:03:56,375
- ♪ Don't get mad, ho ♪
- ♪ Get mad ♪
117
00:03:56,458 --> 00:03:58,041
- ♪ Get a bag, ho ♪
- ♪ Get a bag ♪
118
00:03:58,124 --> 00:04:00,083
- ♪ Don't get mad, ho,
huh, fuck a broke ho ♪
119
00:04:00,166 --> 00:04:02,458
♪ Don't get mad, ho,
get a bag, ho ♪
120
00:04:02,541 --> 00:04:03,541
♪ Ah ♪
121
00:04:03,625 --> 00:04:07,124
[birds chirping]
122
00:04:07,500 --> 00:04:09,208
- I run hot,
but only on one side.
123
00:04:09,291 --> 00:04:10,541
My right armpit, whoo,
124
00:04:10,625 --> 00:04:11,875
it sweats so much more
than the left.
125
00:04:11,958 --> 00:04:13,041
- Yeah, that's why
I always sit
126
00:04:13,124 --> 00:04:14,208
on your left side
at the movies.
127
00:04:14,291 --> 00:04:15,208
- That makes sense.
- Wait.
128
00:04:15,291 --> 00:04:16,708
- Okay.
- Okay, wait.
129
00:04:16,792 --> 00:04:18,875
Are we playing regulars
or triples and doubles?
130
00:04:18,958 --> 00:04:21,583
- I told you I was only playing
trips and dubs,
131
00:04:21,667 --> 00:04:22,917
black-on-black violence.
132
00:04:22,999 --> 00:04:24,124
- Oh, chill out.
133
00:04:24,208 --> 00:04:25,333
We are just trying
to pass the time,
134
00:04:25,416 --> 00:04:26,291
not kill each other.
135
00:04:26,375 --> 00:04:27,333
- Whatever.
136
00:04:27,416 --> 00:04:28,333
- Yeah, how about
next round,
137
00:04:28,416 --> 00:04:29,416
no fancy rules
so we don't get confused?
138
00:04:29,500 --> 00:04:30,416
- Oh, that sounds like
139
00:04:30,500 --> 00:04:31,833
a perfectly reasonable
compromise...
140
00:04:31,917 --> 00:04:33,083
- Thank you.
141
00:04:33,166 --> 00:04:34,917
- That I refuse
to participate in.
142
00:04:34,999 --> 00:04:37,249
- Here she goes, overreacting
in a calm demeanor.
143
00:04:37,333 --> 00:04:39,875
- Get your UNO out ass
back in the game.
144
00:04:39,958 --> 00:04:40,958
- Yeah, is trips and dubs
145
00:04:41,041 --> 00:04:42,166
really the hill
you wanna die on?
146
00:04:42,249 --> 00:04:44,083
- Oh, don't say that phrase.
It's racist.
147
00:04:44,166 --> 00:04:45,583
- No, it's not.
- It's not.
148
00:04:45,667 --> 00:04:47,958
- Not--not racist.
Not racist alert.
149
00:04:48,041 --> 00:04:50,083
The hill you want to die on
comes from soldiers--
150
00:04:50,166 --> 00:04:53,667
- Oh, my--okay,
let me open your eyes
151
00:04:53,750 --> 00:04:55,083
to the history
of Baldwin Hills...
152
00:04:55,166 --> 00:04:56,124
- Ugh.
- Okay.
153
00:04:56,208 --> 00:04:58,625
- Also known as
the Black Beverly Hills.
154
00:04:58,708 --> 00:05:00,333
- [groans loudly]
155
00:05:00,416 --> 00:05:01,750
- Okay.
156
00:05:01,833 --> 00:05:04,958
The neighborhood was built
as the first Olympic Village
157
00:05:05,041 --> 00:05:07,333
to house black and white
athletes together.
158
00:05:07,416 --> 00:05:08,416
- Okay.
159
00:05:08,500 --> 00:05:10,958
- So white people saw it
as forced integration,
160
00:05:11,041 --> 00:05:13,124
and they were
determined to punish
161
00:05:13,208 --> 00:05:15,792
the affluent black residents
who settled there
162
00:05:15,875 --> 00:05:18,166
long after the Olympics
had gone.
163
00:05:18,249 --> 00:05:21,792
So white engineers built
the Baldwin Hills Dam
164
00:05:21,875 --> 00:05:24,333
on an active fault line.
165
00:05:25,583 --> 00:05:27,792
Yes, so it was
no surprise then
166
00:05:27,875 --> 00:05:30,500
when a massive crack
formed in the dam,
167
00:05:30,583 --> 00:05:35,166
flooding the area with
250 million gallons of water...
168
00:05:35,249 --> 00:05:36,625
- Millions?
- Shit.
169
00:05:36,708 --> 00:05:38,333
- Killing five people.
170
00:05:38,416 --> 00:05:39,708
[all gasp]
- Are you serious?
171
00:05:39,792 --> 00:05:41,625
- The local news broadcast
172
00:05:41,708 --> 00:05:44,833
the whole disaster
from helicopters.
173
00:05:44,917 --> 00:05:46,792
They wanted to make sure
the world
174
00:05:46,875 --> 00:05:49,249
saw black people
die on those hills.
175
00:05:49,333 --> 00:05:50,375
- [sighs]
176
00:05:52,083 --> 00:05:53,041
- Wait.
Wait, wait, wait.
177
00:05:53,124 --> 00:05:54,333
Is that true?
That can't be true.
178
00:05:54,416 --> 00:05:55,667
- That's so fucked up.
179
00:05:55,750 --> 00:05:56,792
- That's crazy.
180
00:06:00,124 --> 00:06:01,041
- Uno.
181
00:06:01,124 --> 00:06:03,166
- Bitch,
with your cheating ass.
182
00:06:03,249 --> 00:06:06,249
I knew it!
- [laughs]
183
00:06:07,416 --> 00:06:08,500
- ♪ The real thing ♪
184
00:06:08,583 --> 00:06:09,833
♪ Me and my deuce still bang ♪
185
00:06:09,917 --> 00:06:10,833
♪ Dance and stay one ♪
186
00:06:10,917 --> 00:06:12,458
♪ And, yes, we still hang ♪
187
00:06:12,541 --> 00:06:13,541
♪ I don't be all online ♪
188
00:06:13,625 --> 00:06:14,667
♪ Don't "at" me, boy ♪
189
00:06:14,750 --> 00:06:15,875
♪ Got a couple new whips... ♪
190
00:06:15,999 --> 00:06:18,333
- What ho, fair niggas!
191
00:06:18,416 --> 00:06:19,917
[all cheer]
192
00:06:19,999 --> 00:06:22,208
Yeah, make merry!
Go ham!
193
00:06:22,291 --> 00:06:24,083
[dramatic musical sting]
194
00:06:24,166 --> 00:06:27,208
If thou takest pics,
tag me on the 'Gram.
195
00:06:27,291 --> 00:06:29,583
Methinks I throweth
the hottest parties.
196
00:06:29,667 --> 00:06:33,083
This next dope track
goes out to Gang Bardi.
197
00:06:33,166 --> 00:06:35,541
[cheers and boos]
198
00:06:35,625 --> 00:06:38,333
- ♪ Look, my bitches all bad,
my niggas all real ♪
199
00:06:38,416 --> 00:06:40,249
♪ I ride on his dick
in some big, tall heels ♪
200
00:06:40,333 --> 00:06:41,541
♪ Big, fat checks,
big, large bills ♪
201
00:06:41,625 --> 00:06:42,625
[music fades]
202
00:06:42,708 --> 00:06:45,583
[soft piano music]
203
00:06:45,667 --> 00:06:52,667
♪ ♪
204
00:07:11,166 --> 00:07:13,249
[piano music fades,
hip-hop rises]
205
00:07:13,333 --> 00:07:16,375
- Forsooth,
you mad pretty, sis.
206
00:07:16,458 --> 00:07:17,416
- [giggles]
207
00:07:17,500 --> 00:07:19,792
Thou lookest
like Trevante Rhodes.
208
00:07:19,875 --> 00:07:21,291
Oh, shit.
209
00:07:21,375 --> 00:07:23,917
This bird box,
I may let you hit.
210
00:07:23,999 --> 00:07:25,083
- Aight. Bet.
211
00:07:25,166 --> 00:07:27,083
- I came to stan
my queen and yet
212
00:07:27,166 --> 00:07:28,917
knew not I'd meet
my own Offset.
213
00:07:28,999 --> 00:07:30,083
[dramatic musical sting]
214
00:07:30,166 --> 00:07:32,083
- Nay, to stay
or should I flee?
215
00:07:32,166 --> 00:07:34,208
The one I love
stans Cardi B.
216
00:07:34,291 --> 00:07:37,583
- Rome, dear cuz, has thou lost
thine natural mind?
217
00:07:37,667 --> 00:07:39,833
She reps for she who writes
not her own rhymes.
218
00:07:39,917 --> 00:07:40,917
- [scoffs]
219
00:07:40,999 --> 00:07:43,375
- Cousin Julissa,
what is this treasonous act?
220
00:07:43,458 --> 00:07:46,792
His fave, Onika,
simply does not slap.
221
00:07:46,875 --> 00:07:49,416
- House Bardi and Minaj,
on this concur:
222
00:07:49,500 --> 00:07:51,166
you got us
fucked all the way up.
223
00:07:51,249 --> 00:07:52,166
- Okurrr!
224
00:07:52,249 --> 00:07:53,583
- Cosign me not
with that foul sound.
225
00:07:53,667 --> 00:07:55,083
I fight niggas.
Don't end up in the ground.
226
00:07:55,166 --> 00:07:56,249
- Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!
227
00:07:56,333 --> 00:07:58,875
Before y'all bring a bloody end
to this bacchanalia,
228
00:07:58,958 --> 00:07:59,917
look, I'll just play
229
00:07:59,999 --> 00:08:01,958
time's greatest female rapper,
Iggy Azalea.
230
00:08:02,041 --> 00:08:02,958
[all booing]
231
00:08:03,041 --> 00:08:04,333
All right, boo not.
Boo not.
232
00:08:04,416 --> 00:08:06,458
I'll play Nicki.
Chill.
233
00:08:06,541 --> 00:08:08,541
[Nicki Minaj's "Chun-Li"
playing]
234
00:08:08,625 --> 00:08:11,625
- Rome, Rome, why you
gotta be a Barb?
235
00:08:11,708 --> 00:08:13,792
Deny the standom
and refuse its name.
236
00:08:13,875 --> 00:08:15,416
- Fret not.
237
00:08:15,500 --> 00:08:17,458
Like Cardi and Offset
on and off again
238
00:08:17,541 --> 00:08:19,124
or Nicki and any
of her questionable men,
239
00:08:19,208 --> 00:08:22,041
their love shined bright
despite attempts at stifling,
240
00:08:22,124 --> 00:08:24,833
so shall we not part
because stans are triflin'.
241
00:08:24,917 --> 00:08:26,708
- Less you denounce
your fandom,
242
00:08:26,792 --> 00:08:28,291
our family won't work.
243
00:08:28,375 --> 00:08:31,375
For whom, dear Rome,
would our children twerk?
244
00:08:31,458 --> 00:08:34,958
In truth, my love,
we can never kick it.
245
00:08:35,041 --> 00:08:37,333
I already bought
Bardi boncert tickets.
246
00:08:37,416 --> 00:08:40,917
- Without you, I wouldn't
even wish to draw breath.
247
00:08:40,999 --> 00:08:42,291
- [sighs]
248
00:08:42,375 --> 00:08:45,833
- So if we can't
be together alive, then
249
00:08:45,917 --> 00:08:47,667
let's get it poppin'
in death.
250
00:08:47,750 --> 00:08:50,833
- Wait a minute,
a suicide pact?
251
00:08:50,917 --> 00:08:53,166
- Something like that.
252
00:08:53,249 --> 00:08:56,291
[angelic music]
253
00:08:56,375 --> 00:09:03,416
♪ ♪
254
00:09:05,792 --> 00:09:09,333
[phone clicking]
255
00:09:09,416 --> 00:09:12,249
- Nay, social suicide!
256
00:09:12,333 --> 00:09:14,208
Rome, I can't believe
you did unstan.
257
00:09:14,291 --> 00:09:16,541
I know for this I asked,
but that's extreme.
258
00:09:16,625 --> 00:09:18,667
Goddamn!
259
00:09:18,750 --> 00:09:22,750
- And so begins
my quick and painful end.
260
00:09:22,833 --> 00:09:25,083
My love, tis true.
261
00:09:25,166 --> 00:09:27,124
If yours is as well,
262
00:09:27,208 --> 00:09:28,875
catch these Ls
that I've caught for you.
263
00:09:28,958 --> 00:09:30,249
[gentle music]
264
00:09:30,333 --> 00:09:32,416
- Fuck.
I love thee.
265
00:09:32,500 --> 00:09:34,875
Okurrr.
266
00:09:34,958 --> 00:09:37,875
Here I go.
[sighs]
267
00:09:37,958 --> 00:09:41,750
♪ ♪
268
00:09:45,999 --> 00:09:50,083
And thus with a kiss,
I die, my nigga.
269
00:09:50,166 --> 00:09:52,833
[phone clicking]
270
00:09:55,333 --> 00:09:56,458
- Come on.
271
00:09:56,541 --> 00:09:59,249
- ♪ Box seats, bitch,
fuck the gossip ♪
272
00:09:59,333 --> 00:10:01,792
♪ How many of them
coulda did it with finesse? ♪
273
00:10:01,875 --> 00:10:04,249
♪ Now everybody like,
"She really is the best" ♪
274
00:10:04,333 --> 00:10:05,249
♪ You play checkers ♪
275
00:10:05,333 --> 00:10:06,750
♪ Couldn't beat me
playin' chess ♪
276
00:10:06,833 --> 00:10:08,750
♪ Now I'm about to turn around
and beat my chest ♪
277
00:10:08,833 --> 00:10:11,291
♪ Bitch, it's King Kong,
yes, it's King Kong ♪
278
00:10:11,375 --> 00:10:13,583
♪ Bitch, it's King Kong,
this is King Kong ♪
279
00:10:13,667 --> 00:10:15,958
♪ Chinese ink on,
Siamese links on ♪
280
00:10:16,041 --> 00:10:18,041
♪ Call me 2 Chainz,
name go dingdong ♪
281
00:10:18,124 --> 00:10:19,708
[music echoes]
282
00:10:20,166 --> 00:10:22,208
- It's a beautiful day
for baseball,
283
00:10:22,291 --> 00:10:24,458
especially
with a bunch of Negroes.
284
00:10:24,541 --> 00:10:27,083
Game's at 3:00,
and just in time, too,
285
00:10:27,166 --> 00:10:29,124
'cause a dust bowl's
coming at 5:00.
286
00:10:29,208 --> 00:10:30,291
So grab your popcorn,
287
00:10:30,375 --> 00:10:32,458
a sip at
a race-appropriate bubbler,
288
00:10:32,541 --> 00:10:34,458
and come on down
to the stadium.
289
00:10:34,541 --> 00:10:37,667
[gentle music]
290
00:10:37,750 --> 00:10:40,667
- Oh, there he is,
291
00:10:40,750 --> 00:10:44,999
Satchel Paige, the "woild's"
best Negro League "pitcha."
292
00:10:47,583 --> 00:10:49,958
Satchel Paige!
- Ah.
293
00:10:50,041 --> 00:10:53,333
A unchaperoned skirt
waiting for me after the game?
294
00:10:53,416 --> 00:10:55,249
This never happened before.
295
00:10:55,333 --> 00:10:58,792
Say, what's your name,
darlin'?
296
00:10:58,875 --> 00:11:01,792
- Feather Atwood,
but I'd rather be on wood.
297
00:11:01,875 --> 00:11:03,291
- Hmm.
298
00:11:03,375 --> 00:11:04,792
- [squeaks]
299
00:11:04,875 --> 00:11:06,291
Oops.
300
00:11:06,375 --> 00:11:07,583
- Oh.
301
00:11:09,416 --> 00:11:11,500
- See somethin' you like?
302
00:11:11,583 --> 00:11:14,041
- I thought I had to buy
the cow to see that much hoof.
303
00:11:14,124 --> 00:11:18,124
You, uh, greased up them
shin bottoms just for me?
304
00:11:18,208 --> 00:11:19,833
- Oh, I did
more than that.
305
00:11:19,917 --> 00:11:21,792
Last night, I dressed up
as a waiter
306
00:11:21,875 --> 00:11:23,999
to sneak into your room
at the colored hotel,
307
00:11:24,083 --> 00:11:26,291
but you never ordered
room service.
308
00:11:26,375 --> 00:11:29,667
I had to serve catfish
all night.
309
00:11:29,750 --> 00:11:33,458
- Mm, ugh, you got me
all kinds of parched.
310
00:11:33,541 --> 00:11:36,166
I'm as dry as a cracker
on a biscuit.
311
00:11:36,249 --> 00:11:39,166
- Ooh, that is dry.
- Yeah.
312
00:11:39,249 --> 00:11:42,833
- Better get you a drink.
313
00:11:42,917 --> 00:11:44,208
Right over there.
314
00:11:44,291 --> 00:11:45,208
Uh-huh.
315
00:11:45,291 --> 00:11:48,208
[light instrumental music]
316
00:11:48,291 --> 00:11:49,792
♪ ♪
317
00:11:49,875 --> 00:11:52,416
- Say, what's this?
318
00:11:52,500 --> 00:11:55,166
- Oh, it's a "thoist" trap,
319
00:11:55,249 --> 00:11:57,667
something new we're trying.
320
00:11:57,750 --> 00:11:59,041
- "We"?
321
00:11:59,124 --> 00:12:00,124
- [whistles]
322
00:12:01,583 --> 00:12:04,875
Meet Daffodil Dunham,
Chattanooga's finest flower.
323
00:12:04,958 --> 00:12:08,041
- I was Miss Black Chattanooga
1931.
324
00:12:08,124 --> 00:12:10,041
My prize?
Butter.
325
00:12:10,124 --> 00:12:11,124
Whoo-hoo!
326
00:12:11,208 --> 00:12:13,208
- And, of course,
there's Miss Pearlina Teatree
327
00:12:13,291 --> 00:12:15,249
all the way
from Columbus, Ohio.
328
00:12:15,333 --> 00:12:18,083
Pearlina, show the man
your magnificent mug.
329
00:12:19,958 --> 00:12:22,041
- Lightning hurts
when it strikes.
330
00:12:22,124 --> 00:12:25,208
- Oh, that's one nose
you oughta keep in the books.
331
00:12:25,291 --> 00:12:28,917
Say, uh, what's going on
over here now, ladies?
332
00:12:28,999 --> 00:12:30,875
- Oh, well,
me and my "goils" want you
333
00:12:30,999 --> 00:12:34,083
to take us to New York City,
on your dime, of course.
334
00:12:34,166 --> 00:12:35,708
We wanna go
to the Cotton Club.
335
00:12:35,792 --> 00:12:37,792
- So you can leave me
for Count Basie?
336
00:12:37,875 --> 00:12:40,917
No, not gon' let that
happen to me twice.
337
00:12:40,999 --> 00:12:43,083
I can't stand
that motherfucker.
338
00:12:43,166 --> 00:12:44,625
- Come on, Daddy.
339
00:12:44,708 --> 00:12:45,917
We don't bite.
340
00:12:45,999 --> 00:12:47,083
- [spits]
341
00:12:47,166 --> 00:12:49,416
Gnawed on another tick.
342
00:12:49,500 --> 00:12:50,999
- Well, I don't bite.
343
00:12:51,083 --> 00:12:53,958
- Mm, uh, baby,
baby, listen.
344
00:12:54,041 --> 00:12:55,792
You're the butterfly's boots,
345
00:12:55,875 --> 00:12:58,583
but--but I can't take all ya
to New York City with me.
346
00:12:58,667 --> 00:13:01,333
Leave the--the bouquet
and the hunk of lead here
347
00:13:01,416 --> 00:13:02,875
to set they own traps.
348
00:13:02,958 --> 00:13:04,792
- I rouged my knees
for this?
349
00:13:04,875 --> 00:13:06,541
Feather, you said
he was big game.
350
00:13:06,625 --> 00:13:08,416
We shoulda tried
for Josh Gibson.
351
00:13:08,500 --> 00:13:11,041
- Oh, Josh Gibson,
that crumb bum?
352
00:13:11,124 --> 00:13:12,625
He wouldn't know
the Cotton Club
353
00:13:12,708 --> 00:13:14,625
from the Satin Speakeasy.
354
00:13:14,708 --> 00:13:17,583
No, no,
355
00:13:17,667 --> 00:13:20,458
I'll find the scratch.
356
00:13:20,541 --> 00:13:22,625
Come on, ladies,
let's go.
357
00:13:22,708 --> 00:13:24,833
- [laughing]
Whoo! Whoo!
358
00:13:24,917 --> 00:13:26,291
Oh!
359
00:13:26,375 --> 00:13:29,416
- Wait, wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait, wait.
360
00:13:29,500 --> 00:13:31,750
What do I do
if my wife calls the hotel?
361
00:13:31,833 --> 00:13:33,583
- Oh, just don't answer.
362
00:13:33,667 --> 00:13:37,041
- No, no, that'll never work.
363
00:13:38,541 --> 00:13:40,750
Or will it?
364
00:13:40,833 --> 00:13:43,750
[slow jazzy music]
365
00:13:43,833 --> 00:13:45,750
♪ ♪
366
00:13:47,833 --> 00:13:49,958
- As you pass the rotunda,
367
00:13:50,041 --> 00:13:52,833
you'll see the Hall
of Hustlery and Scamitude,
368
00:13:52,917 --> 00:13:56,458
featuring beautiful oversized
portraits of Pearlina Teatree,
369
00:13:56,541 --> 00:13:59,333
Feather Atwood,
and Daffodil Dunham,
370
00:13:59,416 --> 00:14:01,999
who were the first
Negro League groupies.
371
00:14:02,083 --> 00:14:04,375
They paved the way
for the groupies of today.
372
00:14:04,458 --> 00:14:06,166
As you enter the exhibit,
please leave
373
00:14:06,249 --> 00:14:08,667
your checking account number,
routing number,
374
00:14:08,750 --> 00:14:11,958
and the last four digits of
your Social Security number.
375
00:14:13,541 --> 00:14:14,667
- All I'm saying is,
376
00:14:14,750 --> 00:14:17,208
if your sheets are any color
other than white, you dirty.
377
00:14:17,291 --> 00:14:19,667
That's a hill I'll die on
all zay.
378
00:14:19,750 --> 00:14:20,875
- I'll be a dirty ho then.
379
00:14:20,958 --> 00:14:22,208
Burgundy sheets for life.
380
00:14:22,291 --> 00:14:24,458
- Okay, you know what,
actually, fuck sheets.
381
00:14:24,541 --> 00:14:27,375
People need to stop pronouncing
the word "mature" "muh-tour."
382
00:14:27,458 --> 00:14:29,333
- Oh, I'm the people, bitch?
Okay.
383
00:14:29,416 --> 00:14:30,333
- Y'all got a lot of rules.
384
00:14:30,416 --> 00:14:31,333
I'm just not that rigid.
385
00:14:31,416 --> 00:14:32,333
- Yes, you are!
386
00:14:32,416 --> 00:14:33,625
What's that thing
you have about cakes?
387
00:14:33,708 --> 00:14:34,999
- Lemon does not
belong in cake.
388
00:14:35,083 --> 00:14:36,875
That's not a thing.
That's a fact.
389
00:14:36,958 --> 00:14:38,333
- No, that's a strong-ass,
wrong-ass opinion.
390
00:14:38,416 --> 00:14:39,333
- My whole thing is,
391
00:14:39,416 --> 00:14:41,375
do not call a peach crumble
a peach cobbler.
392
00:14:41,458 --> 00:14:42,667
- Okay.
- They are different.
393
00:14:42,750 --> 00:14:43,875
- Yes.
- Yeah.
394
00:14:43,958 --> 00:14:45,208
- Why are so many of y'alls'
rules dessert-based?
395
00:14:45,291 --> 00:14:46,291
- Okay, fine.
396
00:14:46,375 --> 00:14:47,917
If you buy one-ply tissue,
you're a terrorist.
397
00:14:47,999 --> 00:14:49,166
- Preach.
- Correct.
398
00:14:49,249 --> 00:14:51,541
- And dogs...
should not be on furniture.
399
00:14:51,625 --> 00:14:53,041
- Ooh, yes,
not on my good couch.
400
00:14:53,124 --> 00:14:54,708
And, and "Living Single"
401
00:14:54,792 --> 00:14:56,333
will always be better
than "Friends."
402
00:14:56,416 --> 00:14:57,875
- Duh.
- Of course.
403
00:14:57,958 --> 00:15:01,083
- Oh, and all "Glee" songs
are better than the original.
404
00:15:01,166 --> 00:15:02,208
- Yes.
- Girl, no.
405
00:15:02,291 --> 00:15:03,500
- That's psychotic.
406
00:15:03,583 --> 00:15:04,875
- [slowly]
So I shouldn't mention
407
00:15:04,958 --> 00:15:07,708
that I think Britney Spears'
"My Prerogative"
408
00:15:07,792 --> 00:15:09,875
is better
than Bobby Brown's?
409
00:15:09,958 --> 00:15:12,375
[eerie music]
410
00:15:12,458 --> 00:15:14,291
- You guys broke Quinta.
411
00:15:15,166 --> 00:15:17,833
[spacey hip-hop music]
412
00:15:17,958 --> 00:15:18,875
- But this is the third time
413
00:15:18,958 --> 00:15:20,667
that y'all done
canceled my flight.
414
00:15:20,750 --> 00:15:23,958
My man is gonna be so mad
if I'm late.
415
00:15:24,041 --> 00:15:25,416
Okay, it's--it's a cat.
416
00:15:25,500 --> 00:15:27,249
I just got a cat.
417
00:15:27,333 --> 00:15:28,792
Well, I bet if it
was a white cat,
418
00:15:28,875 --> 00:15:29,917
you would help me!
419
00:15:29,999 --> 00:15:31,667
[phone beeps]
420
00:15:31,750 --> 00:15:33,291
Don't you worry, Tahj Meowry.
421
00:15:33,375 --> 00:15:35,458
I'll find somebody
to get me home.
422
00:15:35,541 --> 00:15:36,458
Hmm.
423
00:15:36,541 --> 00:15:37,458
[phone clicking]
424
00:15:37,541 --> 00:15:39,708
[line trilling]
425
00:15:40,875 --> 00:15:42,792
Nope, I don't want you.
426
00:15:42,875 --> 00:15:44,249
[urgent bass-heavy music]
427
00:15:44,333 --> 00:15:45,541
Mm-mm.
428
00:15:45,625 --> 00:15:46,708
♪ ♪
429
00:15:46,792 --> 00:15:48,583
Okay, y'all can keep doing this
if you want to
430
00:15:48,667 --> 00:15:50,083
'cause I gots time today.
431
00:15:50,166 --> 00:15:51,166
[phone beeping]
432
00:15:52,375 --> 00:15:54,041
- American Airlines,
Lashonda speaking.
433
00:15:54,124 --> 00:15:55,083
How may I help you?
434
00:15:55,166 --> 00:15:58,875
- Oh, my God, sis,
finally, some greens!
435
00:15:58,958 --> 00:16:00,958
Girl, I been talking to kale
all day.
436
00:16:01,041 --> 00:16:01,958
- I believe it.
437
00:16:02,041 --> 00:16:03,124
There's only two of us,
438
00:16:03,208 --> 00:16:05,458
and Keisha went to go get
her hair braided. [giggles]
439
00:16:05,541 --> 00:16:07,458
But don't worry, girl,
you got me now.
440
00:16:07,541 --> 00:16:08,500
What's the problem?
441
00:16:08,583 --> 00:16:11,625
- I am stranded, girl,
in the airport.
442
00:16:11,708 --> 00:16:12,917
Can't sleep here
in the airport.
443
00:16:12,999 --> 00:16:13,917
Done checked my bonnet.
444
00:16:13,999 --> 00:16:15,625
- Oh, no!
445
00:16:15,708 --> 00:16:18,083
Oof, we got
to get you home.
446
00:16:18,166 --> 00:16:19,333
- [sighs]
- What's your destination?
447
00:16:19,416 --> 00:16:21,667
- Okay, Charlotte.
- Oh, ooh.
448
00:16:21,750 --> 00:16:22,958
I'm from Fayetteville.
449
00:16:23,041 --> 00:16:23,958
- Get out!
450
00:16:24,041 --> 00:16:27,083
Girl, I was born there, okay?
451
00:16:27,166 --> 00:16:29,124
My uncle owns
Wings and 'Nem Soul Food.
452
00:16:29,208 --> 00:16:31,291
- Mm-mm, Nick?
453
00:16:31,375 --> 00:16:33,917
- Ye--girl, yeah!
You know him?
454
00:16:33,999 --> 00:16:36,124
- Girl, that's my uncle.
455
00:16:36,208 --> 00:16:37,833
We cousins, baby.
- Yow!
456
00:16:37,917 --> 00:16:39,124
- Yes!
Come on, cousin!
457
00:16:39,208 --> 00:16:40,833
- Ah, that's so bomb!
458
00:16:40,958 --> 00:16:41,999
That is so crazy.
- I know.
459
00:16:42,083 --> 00:16:43,792
- Oh, my God.
- Crazy.
460
00:16:43,875 --> 00:16:46,041
- Whoo!
He answers prayers.
461
00:16:46,124 --> 00:16:48,500
Okay, so, cousin...
[laughs]
462
00:16:48,583 --> 00:16:50,124
Can you get me home?
463
00:16:50,208 --> 00:16:51,541
- Uh, no.
There's no more flights.
464
00:16:51,625 --> 00:16:54,541
I can't help you.
[line beeps]
465
00:16:57,875 --> 00:16:58,999
[jazzy bass music]
466
00:16:59,083 --> 00:17:00,291
- I can't believe this.
467
00:17:00,375 --> 00:17:02,999
You didn't know about
fabric softener before me.
468
00:17:03,083 --> 00:17:04,792
Your fabrics was mad hard.
469
00:17:04,875 --> 00:17:06,708
- I like a stiff jean.
470
00:17:06,792 --> 00:17:08,291
You see,
we're not compatible.
471
00:17:08,375 --> 00:17:10,541
- No, my parents have been
married for 40 years,
472
00:17:10,625 --> 00:17:11,833
and they're not compatible.
473
00:17:11,917 --> 00:17:13,166
- Listen, I just feel--
474
00:17:13,249 --> 00:17:15,208
- Ew, I don't want to hear
about your feelings.
475
00:17:15,291 --> 00:17:17,333
Gross.
- I just need to move on.
476
00:17:17,416 --> 00:17:18,999
- No, no, no, okay, please,
please don't do this.
477
00:17:19,083 --> 00:17:20,041
Please don't break up
with me because
478
00:17:20,124 --> 00:17:21,625
if you break up with me,
it's gonna happen again.
479
00:17:21,708 --> 00:17:24,249
- Denise, it's over.
- [sighs]
480
00:17:24,333 --> 00:17:27,249
[Patti LaBelle's "On My Own"
playing]
481
00:17:27,333 --> 00:17:30,917
[romantic pop music]
482
00:17:30,999 --> 00:17:36,041
- ♪ So many times,
said it was forever... ♪
483
00:17:36,124 --> 00:17:38,375
- Oh, my God.
484
00:17:38,458 --> 00:17:39,958
Patti LaBelle
is in your house.
485
00:17:40,041 --> 00:17:41,041
- I know.
486
00:17:41,124 --> 00:17:42,208
- ♪ Said our love
would always be true... ♪
487
00:17:42,291 --> 00:17:44,917
- Every time I get dumped,
488
00:17:44,999 --> 00:17:48,166
here comes Patti LaBelle
with all her octaves.
489
00:17:48,249 --> 00:17:52,249
- ♪ Something in my heart
always knew ♪
490
00:17:52,333 --> 00:17:57,375
♪ I'd be lying here
beside you ♪
491
00:17:57,458 --> 00:17:59,708
♪ On my own ♪
492
00:17:59,792 --> 00:18:02,917
- Ooh, "New Attitude" is
my leg day song, you hear me?
493
00:18:02,999 --> 00:18:04,375
You are a legend, Patti!
494
00:18:04,458 --> 00:18:07,375
- An annoying legend.
495
00:18:07,458 --> 00:18:08,750
Patti, get out!
496
00:18:08,833 --> 00:18:10,583
- Hey, hey, don't you talk
to Miss Patti like that.
497
00:18:10,667 --> 00:18:11,792
What's wrong--
498
00:18:11,875 --> 00:18:15,083
- Denise, you know what you
have to do to get me to leave.
499
00:18:15,166 --> 00:18:17,208
♪ So many promises... ♪
500
00:18:17,291 --> 00:18:18,208
- [sighs]
501
00:18:18,291 --> 00:18:21,291
- ♪ Never should be spoken ♪
502
00:18:21,375 --> 00:18:24,541
- Every single breakup
my entire life.
503
00:18:24,625 --> 00:18:25,750
I hate this.
504
00:18:25,833 --> 00:18:28,041
- ♪ Now I know
what loving you caused ♪
505
00:18:28,124 --> 00:18:30,625
- Can't you just, like, bring
me a Patti Pie or something,
506
00:18:30,708 --> 00:18:32,291
like something useful?
507
00:18:32,375 --> 00:18:36,249
- ♪ Now we're up
to talking divorce ♪
508
00:18:36,333 --> 00:18:37,583
♪ And we weren't even... ♪
509
00:18:37,667 --> 00:18:38,958
- I'll take a pie.
510
00:18:39,041 --> 00:18:40,375
- Do I look like
a caterer to you?
511
00:18:40,458 --> 00:18:43,083
I'm not here selling
or giving away free Patti Pies.
512
00:18:43,166 --> 00:18:44,083
- I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
513
00:18:44,166 --> 00:18:46,625
- ♪ On my own ♪
514
00:18:46,708 --> 00:18:47,750
- Why don't you
try being grateful
515
00:18:47,833 --> 00:18:50,083
that Miss Patti came
all this way to cheer you up?
516
00:18:50,166 --> 00:18:51,708
- Okay, first of all,
517
00:18:51,792 --> 00:18:53,999
she didn't exactly
go out of her way.
518
00:18:54,083 --> 00:18:55,792
She magicked here.
519
00:18:55,875 --> 00:18:58,583
Secondly,
she's ruining my life.
520
00:18:58,667 --> 00:18:59,958
- Where are
my background singers?
521
00:19:00,041 --> 00:19:02,041
♪ ♪
522
00:19:02,124 --> 00:19:04,375
- Yep, and then she did that.
523
00:19:04,458 --> 00:19:08,667
both:
♪ But it once was so easy ♪
524
00:19:08,750 --> 00:19:09,667
- Hey, Denise.
525
00:19:09,750 --> 00:19:10,917
- Girl,
I like your haircut.
526
00:19:10,999 --> 00:19:12,124
- Thank you.
527
00:19:12,208 --> 00:19:14,291
- ♪ I believe ♪
- ♪ In love ♪
528
00:19:14,375 --> 00:19:15,625
- ♪ In love ♪
529
00:19:15,708 --> 00:19:16,833
- ♪ Now, here... ♪
530
00:19:16,917 --> 00:19:20,083
together:
♪ I stand ♪
531
00:19:20,166 --> 00:19:22,375
- If Patti LaBelle showed up
every time I got dumped,
532
00:19:22,458 --> 00:19:23,958
I would try
to get dumped.
533
00:19:24,041 --> 00:19:25,124
- ♪ Ooh ♪
534
00:19:25,208 --> 00:19:26,333
- Oh, really?
535
00:19:26,416 --> 00:19:28,500
One time, I got dumped
in a fancy restaurant.
536
00:19:28,583 --> 00:19:30,541
She gave
a whole fucking concert.
537
00:19:30,625 --> 00:19:32,333
- ♪ And it was excellent ♪
538
00:19:32,416 --> 00:19:34,917
- Leave me alone,
Patti LaBelle!
539
00:19:36,291 --> 00:19:37,875
- ♪ On my own ♪
[camera shutter clicks]
540
00:19:37,958 --> 00:19:39,750
- Excuse me.
Oh, that was a good one.
541
00:19:39,833 --> 00:19:42,208
- I like him better
than the last guy, too skinny.
542
00:19:42,291 --> 00:19:43,999
He looked like
a Black & Mild.
543
00:19:44,083 --> 00:19:45,208
- Oh, well, thank you,
Miss Patti.
544
00:19:45,291 --> 00:19:46,541
You know, I've been--
545
00:19:46,625 --> 00:19:49,124
- I said I like you better,
but I don't like your ass.
546
00:19:49,208 --> 00:19:51,667
Denise, you need to find
some real love, sugar.
547
00:19:51,750 --> 00:19:57,375
- Don't you have, like, gigs,
like a Legends Ball to attend?
548
00:19:57,458 --> 00:19:58,583
- ♪ On my own ♪
549
00:19:58,667 --> 00:20:02,041
- Miss Patti, please
respect my privacy and leave.
550
00:20:02,124 --> 00:20:03,833
- ♪ On my own ♪
551
00:20:03,917 --> 00:20:06,083
- I-I didn't even love him.
- Hey!
552
00:20:06,166 --> 00:20:08,375
- ♪ Own ♪
553
00:20:08,458 --> 00:20:10,541
- Goddamn it,
your voice is amazing.
554
00:20:10,625 --> 00:20:14,041
Listen, obviously, it's very
special that we have this...
555
00:20:14,124 --> 00:20:16,583
- ♪ I've got to find out... ♪
- Connection.
556
00:20:16,667 --> 00:20:19,083
- ♪ Where I belong again ♪
- But I don't need this.
557
00:20:19,166 --> 00:20:20,083
I'm fine.
558
00:20:20,166 --> 00:20:24,375
- ♪ Got to learn
to be strong again ♪
559
00:20:24,458 --> 00:20:25,917
♪ I never dreamed... ♪
560
00:20:25,999 --> 00:20:27,875
- I guess it's sad,
561
00:20:27,958 --> 00:20:31,375
but it was time
for this to end.
562
00:20:31,458 --> 00:20:35,041
♪ ♪
563
00:20:35,124 --> 00:20:40,917
♪ I have faith
that I will shine again ♪
564
00:20:40,999 --> 00:20:43,249
- Yes, you gon'
find somebody, baby.
565
00:20:43,333 --> 00:20:44,375
I bet you.
566
00:20:44,458 --> 00:20:46,875
I'll see you soon,
boo-boo, hey.
567
00:20:46,958 --> 00:20:50,166
[sings high-pitched note]
568
00:20:50,249 --> 00:20:54,124
♪ ♪
569
00:20:54,208 --> 00:20:56,416
[music fades]
570
00:20:56,500 --> 00:20:59,083
- She never leaves until
I break down and sing with her.
571
00:20:59,166 --> 00:21:00,458
- You know, maybe
we could try to make--
572
00:21:00,541 --> 00:21:01,917
- Didn't you hear me say
I'm on my own?
573
00:21:01,999 --> 00:21:02,958
Get out my house.
- I was--
574
00:21:03,041 --> 00:21:04,124
- Nigga, take your shit.
575
00:21:04,208 --> 00:21:05,583
- But I-I had a change of--
- What's wrong with you?
576
00:21:05,667 --> 00:21:08,291
- We did a whole song.
Go.
577
00:21:08,375 --> 00:21:10,333
- You--
I'm sorry.
578
00:21:10,416 --> 00:21:12,500
- On my...
579
00:21:14,958 --> 00:21:17,667
♪ On my own ♪
580
00:21:19,333 --> 00:21:22,083
- Prime-time dime time, bitch!
581
00:21:22,166 --> 00:21:23,583
[all cheer]
582
00:21:23,667 --> 00:21:25,416
- Yay, finally.
- Quintuple is ahead.
583
00:21:25,500 --> 00:21:27,416
- Yes.
- Adorable.
584
00:21:27,500 --> 00:21:29,750
Well, domino.
585
00:21:29,833 --> 00:21:31,458
- Damn it.
- God.
586
00:21:31,541 --> 00:21:33,958
Ashley, we were
all cheating the entire time
587
00:21:34,041 --> 00:21:34,999
and you still beat us.
588
00:21:35,083 --> 00:21:38,792
- Yes, at UNO,
Jenga, and dominoes.
589
00:21:38,875 --> 00:21:40,833
And now it's time
for you all
590
00:21:40,917 --> 00:21:43,166
to come get these
well-enunciated harmonies.
591
00:21:43,249 --> 00:21:44,999
- Oops, going to sleep.
592
00:21:46,041 --> 00:21:49,041
[birds chirping]
593
00:21:52,041 --> 00:21:53,291
- Uh-oh.
594
00:21:53,375 --> 00:21:54,625
[intense music]
595
00:21:54,708 --> 00:21:56,958
- Uh-oh?
596
00:21:57,041 --> 00:21:59,625
- Uh-oh.
597
00:21:59,708 --> 00:22:02,166
- Uh-oh!
598
00:22:02,249 --> 00:22:03,833
There's a man on our stoop.
599
00:22:03,917 --> 00:22:05,500
- Oh, no, we're about
to get catcalled.
600
00:22:05,583 --> 00:22:06,833
- No, we don't know that.
601
00:22:06,917 --> 00:22:08,291
We don't want to be
one of those black women
602
00:22:08,375 --> 00:22:09,792
who assumes
the worst of black men,
603
00:22:09,875 --> 00:22:10,792
like the rest of the world.
604
00:22:10,875 --> 00:22:13,083
- Only thing I'm assuming
is that we bad
605
00:22:13,166 --> 00:22:14,999
and that niggas
wanna get at us
606
00:22:15,083 --> 00:22:17,875
not 'cause of who they are,
'cause of who we are.
607
00:22:17,958 --> 00:22:19,500
- Hopefully he won't
even notice us.
608
00:22:19,583 --> 00:22:21,500
Oh, no, what if
he doesn't notice us?
609
00:22:21,583 --> 00:22:22,500
- Oh.
[scoffs]
610
00:22:22,583 --> 00:22:23,875
Niggas is out here
not noticing bad bitches
611
00:22:23,958 --> 00:22:25,875
with all this ass?
612
00:22:25,958 --> 00:22:29,208
- Are we bad, or are we
just slightly disobedient?
613
00:22:29,291 --> 00:22:30,667
- There's nothing
in the schedule
614
00:22:30,750 --> 00:22:32,792
about a dude
noticing our ass, okay?
615
00:22:32,875 --> 00:22:36,124
We need to get home,
microwave 1 1/2 Hot Pockets,
616
00:22:36,208 --> 00:22:37,541
and watch "Marriage Boot Camp."
617
00:22:37,625 --> 00:22:38,999
- We can do all that later,
618
00:22:39,083 --> 00:22:41,375
but you can't DVR
a fine nigga's attention.
619
00:22:41,458 --> 00:22:42,625
[gasps]
Let's twerk for him.
620
00:22:42,708 --> 00:22:43,792
- No.
621
00:22:43,875 --> 00:22:46,500
The only thing worse
than being catcalled
622
00:22:46,583 --> 00:22:48,375
is an unnoticed twerk.
623
00:22:48,458 --> 00:22:50,166
What happens
to a twerk unnoticed?
624
00:22:50,249 --> 00:22:52,333
Does it dry up like a raisin?
625
00:22:52,416 --> 00:22:53,792
- Okay, and with that,
626
00:22:53,875 --> 00:22:56,500
we're moving "find a therapist"
to the top of the to-do list.
627
00:22:56,583 --> 00:22:57,667
- Oh, okay, cool.
628
00:22:57,750 --> 00:22:59,625
I just moved up
"twerk for a stranger."
629
00:22:59,708 --> 00:23:01,833
- Well, what if we just moved?
- Okay--
630
00:23:01,917 --> 00:23:03,166
- We don't like
our apartment anyway.
631
00:23:03,249 --> 00:23:04,208
We decorated it weird.
632
00:23:04,291 --> 00:23:07,375
- We are not moving,
and we're not twerking!
633
00:23:07,458 --> 00:23:09,541
- [imitating buzzer]
634
00:23:09,625 --> 00:23:12,708
♪ Oh! ♪
635
00:23:12,792 --> 00:23:14,208
- Great, and now
we have to pee.
636
00:23:14,291 --> 00:23:15,208
We need to go.
637
00:23:15,291 --> 00:23:16,875
- Fuck it.
Krystal, twerk.
638
00:23:16,958 --> 00:23:18,041
- Krystal, pack!
639
00:23:18,124 --> 00:23:20,625
- Krystal,
walk but clench.
640
00:23:26,291 --> 00:23:28,541
- Ah!
- Well, are we happy now?
641
00:23:28,625 --> 00:23:30,041
We did the most,
he didn't even look,
642
00:23:30,124 --> 00:23:31,875
and we still have to pee.
643
00:23:31,958 --> 00:23:33,667
- Psst, psst.
644
00:23:33,750 --> 00:23:36,249
Yo, Ma,
I see dat ass.
645
00:23:36,333 --> 00:23:37,541
[spacey musical flourish]
646
00:23:37,625 --> 00:23:40,500
- Oh, well, so now
this nigga wanna holla?
647
00:23:40,583 --> 00:23:42,041
Typical man, classic
648
00:23:42,124 --> 00:23:43,917
"he didn't wanna holla,
now he wanna holla" move.
649
00:23:43,999 --> 00:23:45,208
- He called us Ma!
650
00:23:45,291 --> 00:23:46,917
Do we look matronly?
651
00:23:46,999 --> 00:23:50,083
- Krystal, look him
dead in his eyes and say this.
652
00:23:50,166 --> 00:23:53,249
- We can read any magazine
and be told no one wants us.
653
00:23:53,333 --> 00:23:54,333
- You got us so fucked up,
654
00:23:54,416 --> 00:23:56,375
we out here
clench-twerk-walking by you.
655
00:23:56,458 --> 00:23:58,124
- When we don't
want to get catcalled,
656
00:23:58,208 --> 00:24:00,249
but we also don't want
to not get catcalled.
657
00:24:00,333 --> 00:24:02,500
all: We can't win.
658
00:24:03,667 --> 00:24:06,667
- Ma, your skirt
caught in your drawers.
659
00:24:08,958 --> 00:24:11,291
You don't feel that?
660
00:24:13,667 --> 00:24:15,750
[dramatic musical flourish]
661
00:24:15,833 --> 00:24:18,750
[tense pulsing music]
662
00:24:18,833 --> 00:24:23,625
♪ ♪
663
00:24:23,708 --> 00:24:26,667
[spacey upbeat hip-hop music]
664
00:24:26,750 --> 00:24:33,708
♪ ♪
665
00:25:15,917 --> 00:25:18,750
- [blowing]
666
00:25:18,833 --> 00:25:21,833
[wheezing]
667
00:25:21,917 --> 00:25:24,166
[laughter]
668
00:25:24,249 --> 00:25:26,999
- She's really like,
"Your breath is strong."
669
00:25:27,083 --> 00:25:30,208
- What do I do if my wife
calls the hotel?
670
00:25:30,291 --> 00:25:31,667
- Just don't answer.
671
00:25:31,750 --> 00:25:33,124
[airplane droning]
- Let's hold for this, uh...
672
00:25:33,208 --> 00:25:34,333
- Oh, you got a plane?
673
00:25:34,416 --> 00:25:35,500
[airplane drones louder]
674
00:25:35,583 --> 00:25:36,999
This nigga's
got a plane.
675
00:25:37,083 --> 00:25:38,625
[laughter]
- I've got a plane, yeah.
676
00:25:38,708 --> 00:25:41,333
- I was Miss Black Chattanooga
1931.
677
00:25:41,416 --> 00:25:44,375
My prize?
Popcorn.
678
00:25:44,458 --> 00:25:47,541
I was Miss Black Chattanooga
1931.
679
00:25:47,625 --> 00:25:50,917
My prize?
Soap.
680
00:25:50,999 --> 00:25:53,041
Feather, you said
he was big game.
681
00:25:53,124 --> 00:25:54,166
[scoffs]
682
00:25:54,249 --> 00:25:55,583
- What's wrong,
Daffodil?
683
00:25:55,667 --> 00:25:56,958
- I ate my tooth.
684
00:25:57,041 --> 00:26:00,166
- I fought lightning,
but lightning won.
685
00:26:00,249 --> 00:26:01,875
[laughter]
686
00:26:01,958 --> 00:26:05,541
[upbeat hip-hop music]
687
00:26:05,625 --> 00:26:09,041
- I'm doing a hurt twerk.
[laughs]
688
00:26:09,124 --> 00:26:12,041
- What ho, fair niggas!
689
00:26:12,124 --> 00:26:14,041
Go merry! Make ham!
690
00:26:14,124 --> 00:26:15,999
Nope.
[laughter]
691
00:26:28,041 --> 00:26:30,166
[bright tone]
692
00:26:32,166 --> 00:26:33,375
I hate when I accidentally
turn people on.
693
00:26:33,458 --> 00:26:34,416
I was just wearing
a Bluetooth once,
694
00:26:34,833 --> 00:26:36,291
and this man tripped over
the curb trying to stare at me.
695
00:26:36,375 --> 00:26:37,416
What else did you have on?
696
00:26:37,500 --> 00:26:38,541
-Booty shorts.
-Okay.
697
00:26:38,625 --> 00:26:40,124
♪ (HIP HOP MUSIC PLAYS) ♪
698
00:26:40,208 --> 00:26:41,458
ATTENDANT: Are you willing
and able to assist
699
00:26:41,541 --> 00:26:43,208
-in case of an emergency?
-Bet.
700
00:26:43,291 --> 00:26:44,792
-I just need a verbal yes.
-No doubt.
701
00:26:44,875 --> 00:26:46,708
Let me ask you this:
Do we get to exit first,
702
00:26:46,792 --> 00:26:48,833
and do I get to take
my homegirl with me?
703
00:26:48,917 --> 00:26:49,708
Oh!
704
00:26:49,792 --> 00:26:50,917
What's that burn
on your forehead?
705
00:26:50,999 --> 00:26:52,208
What's with all the questions,
Daisy?
706
00:26:52,291 --> 00:26:53,625
You're doing your own hair.
707
00:26:53,708 --> 00:26:55,583
You can't afford the salon
anymore.
708
00:26:55,667 --> 00:26:57,291
Okay, that is enough!
709
00:26:57,583 --> 00:27:00,500
♪ Diamonds on my pinky
On my wrist and on my chain ♪
710
00:27:00,583 --> 00:27:03,249
Lord, it's me, your child,
Butterfly,
711
00:27:03,333 --> 00:27:06,166
and I would just like to pray
for this food.
712
00:27:06,500 --> 00:27:09,541
(SINGING)
♪ I'm prayin'! ♪
713
00:27:11,875 --> 00:27:13,667
♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪
47517
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